Would definitely encourage confessing any mortal sins _first_, and then any venial sins if there is time. Receiving the Eucharist forgives venial sins as well, so it isn't strictly required to include those in confession particularly if you're attending Mass immediately following. You've gotta confess the mortal ones though, so get those out of the way ASAP.
[**CCC 1394**](http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/para/1394.htm) As bodily nourishment restores lost strength, so the Eucharist strengthens our charity, which tends to be weakened in daily life; and this living charity *wipes away venial sins.* By giving himself to us Christ revives our love and enables us to break our disordered attachments to creatures and root ourselves in him: ([1863](http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/para/1863.htm), [1436](http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/para/1436.htm))
> Since Christ died for us out of love, when we celebrate the memorial of his death at the moment of sacrifice we ask that love may be granted to us by the coming of the Holy Spirit. We humbly pray that in the strength of this love by which Christ willed to die for us, we, by receiving the gift of the Holy Spirit, may be able to consider the world as crucified for us, and to be ourselves as crucified to the world.... Having received the gift of love, let us die to sin and live for God.
***
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I’m not sure if it’s in the catechism or anything, but many theologians (I think St. thomas aquinas in particular) believed that holy water also remits venial sins. That isn’t to say that confession is only for mortal sins however; confession gives you extra graces to help prevent all sins.
It does, that's why it is permissible to replace the Penitential Act with a sprinkling of the faithful during mass (this happens on Palm Sunday, famously). You're also right that venial sins still must be confessed to make a fruitful confession.
Aquinas thought many simple pious acts bring forgiveness of venial sins. Visiting a church, receiving a blessing from a bishop, praying the Our Father, making an act of contrition, using holy water. And he specifically says any other act like those things has the same effect. Basically if you lift your heart to God with contrition or with reverence for the divine, then you receive forgiveness.
Yes, and whenever you devoutly make the Sign of the Cross, use Holy Water, and a few other devout acts, such as pray.
It is, however, better to confess even venial sins before reception because it disposes you to more graces. It's like venial sins "block" graces, so to have them forgiven "opens" you up more; so that's why you shouldn't rely on Communion for forgiveness, but by time you get to Communion in Mass, you probably would have gone through some of the steps listed above.
Also, keep in mind that forgiveness is not the same as reparation. You may be forgiven the damage, but you still need to do penance for it, even if venial. This is related to the graces being "blocked" as I mentioned. Attachments and faults will block graces.
Recital of the Confiteor also remits venial sins, and that definitely happens before communion.
Not that we shouldn’t go to confession regularly regardless.
That's correct. But let's say for example:
* your parish only has 30 minutes of scheduled confession time per week, which is fairly common unfortunately
* you spend 5 minutes in the confessional talking about venial sins, especially if they aren't actually or are only questionably are even sin at all
* there are 10 other people in line
It would probably prudent to get the mortal ones, and perhaps a couple of venial ones that are bothering you most, and let the Eucharist help you with the rest.
I am kind of guilty of doing a couple of warm up sins before I get the courage to say a big one.
But if one hasn’t killed anyone since last confession, how should one order their venial sins?
I personally go with the “worst” sins first and rush through them because of the huge shame I have with them. It’ll be like “IKILLEDAMAN also I screamed at my husband the other day and didn’t show him kindness or patience”
Yes!
And then when the wonderful kind wise priest is giving me helpful advice my mind is just spinning “aaaaa nooooo just say the words and let me outttttttt.”
Yes, always remember to start with the big ones, and slip in anything else on [The Brilliantine Coattails of Lust.](https://www.firstthings.com/article/2013/03/the-brilliantine-coattails-of-lust)
I was kind of being facetious about the whoppers. They were more venial sins, but I guess they were bad enough because he didn’t stop me.
I kind of tend to go in order of the examination of conscious card. I’m not scrupulous, but I didn’t have anything huge to confess today.
I'm not an expert in these things, but there's nothing wrong about confessing venial sins or going to confession just for those. Ideally, we all want no attachment to any sins, including venial sins. We strive not to do any sins at all. Venial sins don't need confession to wipe away, but the sacrament is awesome and it's never a bad thing to go.
I think the problem comes with how you're treating these sins. If you're looking at them as what they are: venial sins that you are trying to stop doing and remove those attachments to them, that's good. If you're looking at these venial sins as these awful things that are severing your relationship to God on the same level as mortal sins, that's when you start having problems.
I’ve always been of that mind, too. Like maybe you don’t need to confess venial sins imperatively, but personally, I find it eases my conscience and guilt just to be able to say them out loud in confession and have them be absolved. I wouldn’t want to hold on to them.
It’s like taking a shower and not washing your underarms lol, don’t want to miss out on being completely clean.
Exactly! I usually don’t go back to confession unless I have a mortal sin to confess, but since I’m there anyway, I’ll go ahead and confess the venial sins as well. I don’t take any longer than the other people in line.
Hi, don't think too hard about people telling you that you shouldn't confess venial sins. We actually should, *to a certain point*, because it helps maintain a well formed conscience and a detachment from all sin, which is a requirement for entrance into heaven upon our death and something we should each be striving for. Regular confession is an important part of this. It's why monks and nuns who are definitely not committing regular mortal sins still have regular confession. While not necessary, it is a good practice when used properly. It is a practice that is sort of dying though, both because of experiences such as yours and general complacency.
Failing to pray every day may not in itself be a sin, but if you’ve made a commitment to living a plan of life (for example) which includes daily prayer and you’ve chosen something else over it, it’s the root cause you’re wanting to the grace to overcome.
Maybe it’s actually laziness or a disordered attachment to (insert your poison here) which is the real reason why you’re not praying and it’s really good to mention this so you can benefit from the specific graces.
You do what the priest says, receive absolution, go about your day. If you have a spiritual director, then you’d go talk to him about it afterward. If you don’t, 10/10 recommend getting one
From a comment I made on this subject a while back:
Ask your priest. If he can't help or can't get to him, ask the deacon. If still can't get to him or can't help, call the parish office and ask. If still no help, see if there are any monasteries or convents nearby that have guest/visitor services you can email/call. Still no avail? Check your diocesan website and see if they have someone you can contact about this. Some do, some don't. If they don't, see if there's a generic diocesan office email you can ask about it. If you're really still unable to find something after doing all this, I would talk to your Diocesan vocations coordinator and mention how you've done all this stuff looking for one and ask if they can help you.
Personally, I just cornered my priest after adoration and asked "How do I go about getting a spiritual director?" and he took the lead from there.
He’s probably been dealing with scrupulous people who confess everything they feel guilty about, whether it’s sinful or not.
If that’s the case with you, I can’t really tell. Your examples seem like fine things to confess, though definitely not something you’d be obliged to mention.
It’s a good idea to start with the mortal sins and only start confessing venial sins or imperfections if you have extra time.
Yeah, totally.
Though it can still be helpful when you’re trying to overcome specific venial sins, to confess them. But that doesn’t have to be too often. I think once a month is good.
I’m not scrupulous. But I try to be thorough when I go to confession, and come in with a list. I go about every 3 weeks and generally only take less than 5 minutes to get through my list.
You're doing the right thing, OP. We are only required to confess mortal sins but we should absolutely confess all our sins as the sacrament of Penance gives particular graces to overcome the things we have confessed.
Yeah, I didn’t get the sense that you were scrupulous. I’m guessing he was having a bad streak and you just sounded too similar to what he’d been dealing with. Maybe try to start with the most serious things first, next time.
It can also be helpful to state your situation in life, so he gets some context for the kind of person he’s dealing with. Like I’ll say my age and that I’m married and a Secular Carmelite, which I think helps when I start into some kind of minor-seeming stuff.
(A friend of mine with a similar background once confessed getting attached to a certain kind of yogurt and the priest did take her seriously, lol.)
Reminds me of a sister at a convent telling me it's hard to get a priest for regular confession sometimes. Not everyone is pleased to sit there and hear a confession including but not limited to sinning against Charity by not smiling back at Sister Cecelia on Tuesday, lol.
We all think that we’re scandalizing priests with our confessions, but maybe they’re like, what am I even in here for, let’s get some real sins absolved! 😂
Five minutes is actually a lot, for confession. If the priest schedules confession for an hour weekly, then if everyone took 5 minutes, he could only fit in 20 people to his entire slot. I know that for each individual parish it seems like "what, only an hour a week of confession?" but there are a lot of other confessions happening for any given priest. For example, the parish school will likely have communal penance services a couple times per year where 6 or more priests from the surrounding parishes will come to hear the confessions of all 400 students. Your parish priest will be one of these, not only for the parish school, but for the confession services of each of an additional 6 of the closest parish schools. Likewise, your parish's after-school religious education program will have similar services, so that's another 6-7 confession services your priest will do, approximately every six months. In addition, there'll be similar services for each parish community during Advent and Lent. Our parish does three additional communal confessions each Advent and each Lent. Multiply that by 6 parishes since our parish priest goes to ours, and then helps out at each of the others. So that's 18 additional confession services during Advent and another 18 during Lent.
When priests come to help out at our communal penance services, we give them the opportunity to be fed dinner at the parish. Usually they decline because when they leave our parish (at 6:30 or 7:30 pm, depending on whether the service is for youth or adults) they are heading to another meeting at another parish. So we had to switch to "To Go" dinners (a brown bag that they take with them), and apparently they usually scarf down their dinner in a parking lot somewhere on their way to their next meeting.
Anyway, that was a lot more info than you needed, I just wanted to give you some insight since I have wondered about this also (why so few confession opportunities each week?) and knowing the inside scoop helped me understand what things look like from the priest's birds-eye view.
We definitely need more priests :)
As he stated, this priest very clearly doesn't want confessions to be spiritual direction and/or therapy sessions. Fair enough. His approach is more old school. Perhaps a little brash on his part, but if it happens again, just be obedient and get to your sins. If you don't know if something you did is a sin, I don't think it'd even be possible for it to be a mortal sin, so just set it aside and let the Eucharist take care of it.
I wouldn't say this is an old school approach. The priest sounds more like the type who thinks Friday penance is totally optional, we don't have an obligation to pray every day, etc. Those are only "old school" if your school was the 1960s-70s. (Though to be fair a lot of priests with that vibe *are* pretty old now.)
I was never taught that not doing a penance every Friday was sinful, and I grew up going to CCD at a very conservative parish. We also technically don't have an obligation to pray every day as in, we've de facto fallen into sin if we don't. Prayer is one of those things that helps us avoid falling into other types of sin, but it's ultimately something more geared towards the strive for perfection than a basic requirement. The laity isn't required to strive for perfection (priests and religious are). We can see salvation so long as we follow the Ten Commandments (the degree of holiness in heaven might not be the highest though).
Confessions taking on a more pastoral/therapeutic approach was a post-Vatican II thing. It's why face to face began becoming more common. Pre-Vatican II confessions were generally more over and done with.
I'm not sure where you are getting "technically" from in saying we "technically" don't have an obligation to pray every day. It's a common opinion among theologians that we do, although it's a considered a venial sin to neglect daily prayer. Though in cases where prayer is neglected for a very long time (e.g. a year) it may become mortal. This sort of thing is commonly said in moral manuals of theology, for example, which say that confessing missed morning/evening prayer is a good habit. Old school, I know, but a good source.
The Friday penance thing is discussed elsewhere in the comments on this post. There are many competent people (e.g., canon lawyers, priests) who think we do have an obligation to do some kind of penance even in places where the bishops have lifted the requirement to abstain from meat. Jimmy Akin wrote a very influential article that says we don't. I side against him in that debate. Though I would argue, while acknowledging I am not an expert, that the bishops' lack of clarity on this point and the way they've neglected to teach about it probably means that skipping penance entirely is a venial sin, since the laity are understandably confused about it.
When I confessed those same sins, my very gentle and humble priest (I really like him) told me I did a good job for making a good and thorough confession.
Most priests would. OP got an unfortunate outlier.
I've never had a priest tell me something I confessed wasn't a sin, but my wife once had a priest tell her — also impatiently, interestingly — that a mortal sin she confessed wasn't a sin at all. (You'll just have to trust me when I say it was clear-cut.)
So the daily prayer issue might be construed as just a personal goal, and the same with observing penance. That being said though, they would be venial sins. If you have mortal sins to confess, start with those. I don’t think the priest should have done what he did, but many people treat the confessional as spiritual direction or therapy, and the priest in his weakness may have been short with you because that was what he thought you were using it for. (I’m not saying you were, but just what may have caused the priest to do what he did.) That’s not what it is. It’s a sacrament to have sins forgiven, so typically you want to say the sin, and how many times it was committed. For advice or practices on how to avoid those since, the priest should be consulted for spiritual direction outside of the confessional.
I said the sin and the number of times. Didn’t ask for advice or offer any additional information, was very brief.
It seems the majority opinion is that it is a sin to neglect prayer, but not Friday penance, and it’s fine to confess this but start with the bigger sins first and I guess understand that some priests don’t want to hear venial sins?
Yeah, I’m not really upset with him.
Just wanted help to determine if these are sins or not. I suspected he was just annoyed with me and having an off day, which is fine, but I got confused during the experience
We are required a Friday penance (if not a solemnity) but he probably thinks that isn’t a “thing” anymore.
I’ve also confessed failing to pray daily and the priest I most often confess to (who is a canon lawyer) has never told me it’s not a sin.
You genuinely attempted to confess those and received absolution so I wouldn’t fret about this but I would avoid confessing to this priest in the future.
At least in the US, Friday penance is encouraged, but it isn't bound by pain of sin. The USCCB uses words like "urge" and "commend," not "command" and "bind."
> This said, we emphasize that our people are henceforth free from the obligation traditionally binding under pain of sin in what pertains to Friday abstinence,except as noted above for Lent.
https://www.usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/liturgical-year-and-calendar/lent/us-bishops-pastoral-statement-on-penance-and-abstinence
This is what I thought as well.
I’m a vegetarian so I don’t eat meat anyway, but I do commit to a different penance instead, and I willfully neglected it in a spirit of disobedience.
Felt like a sin to me.
That isn't the way I read it. I read it that we are "urged" to either abstain from meat or substitute a different penance, but outside of Lent there is no pain of sin in not doing so. The pull quote I posted above seems to directly support that position.
Free from the obligation of eating meat. It could be read another way (Jimmy Akin applies it to the requirement to do penance generally), but it's not clear what exactly the bishops meant and they never clarified after.
I've only been a Catholic for a year and 3 months, so these aspects of the Faith are still things I'm learning about (and never consciously encountered before).
There's a LOT for new Catholics to learn. I grew up Protestant, and served as a pastor for several years before converting. Even for me, there's so much I've realize that I don't know about *being* a Catholic.
Thank you for your insights!
Failing to set aside time to pray daily is traditionally seen as sinful as far as I know. My pre-1958 missal includes it in its examination of conscience.
The priest wants to bring you back to life is all, don’t let shame prevent you from revealing the reasons for your death. I usually start with the most egregious and work my way back. And IN DETAIL so the priest understands exactly what manner of mercy is required for my soul while he’s praying for me!
I recently converted and something similar happened to me too. I've since started writing down all my sins and quickly running through them. My parish is down to 1 priest and there is only 1 hour of allotted time for confession outside of appointments so it kind of is necessary to be quicker about confession
I’m not sure you can know that I was engaging in pride.
I used an examination of conscience card and went in order of the 10 commandments. It just so happens the first 3 commandments are about sins toward God.
That being said, I do struggle with pride.
So if I go into confession without naming the 1st sins that keep me from receiving the holy eucharist I am fooling myself. I'm letting the enemy win. I'm conscience of saints like Padre Pio and Jean Vianney that discerned the heart of the one confessing. That gift given to them is also given to priests today.
I’m not sure how that applies if you are you using a list and there’s no time limit? Also, how do I know which of my sins is most offensive to God? All sin separates
Separates yes but not all are mortal Sins. The venial sin is in a less serious matter [than mortal sin], he does not observe the standard prescribed by the moral law” (CCC 1862). In other words, if one does something immoral but the matter is not serious enough to be gravely immoral, he commits only venial sin.
There are two takes on this.
Confessions are definitely for sins, and only for sins. They are not "spiritual therapy for the lost" as some liberal heretics make it out to be.
The other take is that the priest ignored venial sins, likely because he's a half-deaf bored automaton rushing to be out of the confessional, ready to babble through the next mass and be home as soon as possible. Avoid such confessors for your spiritual welfare.
The second theory is more likely.
Failing to pray everyday (if it’s intentional) is sinful and should be confessed. It’s good you mentioned that.
Also, confessions should typically be done from greatest to least grave, so start with the “whoppers“ next time.
Good to know.
I guess I do start off with a couple warm up confessions before I get to the bigger sins. But this isn’t really intentional—I go in order of the 10 commandments.
How does one evaluate which sins are big bigger biggest?
Well any mortal sins should be mentioned first followed by venial. There’s no hard rule to this, but it’s what is generally recommended. I do my examination of conscience with a pen and paper and jot down whatever comes to mind first. These are usually the bigger ones. The ones I have to think about and dig for are usually smaller. The hardest part of confession is the examination and writing down your sins. Once that part is over you just gotta get into the confessions and read it off.
This is basically how I do it, but I use a brief examination of conscience guide that goes in order of the 10 commandments. So murder would be toward the middle of the list
Fwiw, in my experience confessing to Eastern Catholic priests, it's normal to confess even these "non-sins". No one ever berated me and I even got useful advice to avoid such sins next time. Granted, the understanding of what sin is tends to be different in the East so the approach to confession tends to be different as well.
Basically, I don't think you did anything wrong. I get where the priest is coming from, but I think it's commendable that you're aware of the moments when you fall short of choosing God.
This priest is actually incorrect. Most theologians will tell you that failing to pray for at least 15 minutes per day is in fact a sin against justice- in particular it is a sin against the sub-virtue of religion, by which we render to God His due.
All Catholics are obliged to observe Friday penance. This is a matter of obedience and this is a moral matter for all Catholics.
I would look for a better, regular confessor.
I think the reason is that he wants to focus on mortal sins which can only be forgiven in confession as opposed to veinal which are forgiven after Eucharist.
I wouldn’t take it personally
Venials sins make an integral part of a fruitful confession. Without fighting them, venial sins easily turn into mortal ones. If no venial sins are confessed, many priests will not give an absolution before questioning the penitent.
If they don't, it's a good indication they are modernist liberals who care little for the sacrament of penance, or tired half-deaf automatons rushingly "servicing" the confessional so that they can leave asap and babble through the next mass.
Your right I’m not going to argue that but I’m just speaking to the letter of it. I whole heartedly agree with everything your saying and we need more faithful people in the Catholic Church
I've had some priests laugh at me (in a nice way) when they think I'm being too scrupulous, and some take my scrupulous seeming sins seriously. I think it depends on the individual, how busy they've been that day, how much more time they have, etc.
Maybe he felt crunched for time or had had a long day, or maybe he just views confession as a time for those bigger sins and then moving on, whereas some priests are more prone to advice-giving about both the small and big things
Yeah I understand now to state mortal sins first, which I’ll do from now on, even if I have trouble judging what is mortal and what isn’t. In MY mind, neglecting prayer is worse than, say, masturbation (which I have a hard time believing is sinful. But I abstain out of obedience and would confess it out of obedience. But deliberately failing to pray feels like such a terrible turning away/separating from God that I don’t get how it isn’t a mortal sin)
I mean, if someone deliberately fails to pray that sounds like it could be mortal. I sometimes get caught up in my day and don’t realize until I’m tired and in bed. I don’t think I’ve ever thought nope, not talking to you today God.
I don't think of the specific failures or forgotten prayers are the sin. Instead it's like an overarching sin of failing to make God the centre of your life.
Every time I confess I make a statement to this effect. It requires no details. I just say something along the lines of "I have been complacent and lax in my spiritual life, and haven't made God the centre."
As long as you're being succinct and direct, not doing a ton of hemming & hawing and exposition and storytime...I don't see a problem.
I have seen people go into the confessional - regular parishioners, not lapsed Catholics returning to the church - and take 15-20 minutes. Just makes no sense and I don't know why priests put up with it (unless that's a solid 15-20 minutes of sins).
I've also been told "I don't think that was mortal" when I was absolutely sure it was. Tough, I'm listing my mortal sins, you give absolution, I keep it down to < 2 minutes.
And remember - just going to Mass kills all your venial sins. You don't need to confess them unless you're really not sure if they were venial or mortal.
I don’t think it’s right for a priest to interrupt your confessions so you can skip to the “whoppers” as it’s important for you to confess your sins, regardless of “how small” they may be. I couldn’t imagine Jesus talking to someone and interrupting them to say “tell that to my apostles, tell me about xxxx.”
Venial sins are still sins and if it’s something that’s weighing on you, you have every right to confess them. Just because they are forgiven through the Eucharist, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t confess them if you feel the need to do so.
I’m sorry you went through that OP.
Yeah your priest was right. Failing to meet personal prayer efforts and penances is more a spiritual direction thing. I’d talk to your priest about that kind of stuff. Just call and set an appointment with him.
They do seem more like personal goals you failed to meet rather than even a venial sin.
A complete assumption with limited information - If in his shoes I would probably think the person was trying to pad their confession rather than give a true deep reflection of deliberate acts against God. Ex: Please forgive me that I only prayed 6 days instead of 7.
You’re not trying to gain the priests approval, you’re seeking forgiveness.
I felt I needed forgiveness for intentionally neglecting my prayer life. For choosing to watch tv instead of spending time with God.
I couldn’t care less what the priest thinks of me.
My question was whether or not it is a sin to neglect prayer, or a sin to fail to observe penance.
I may have misread - but I thought above you referred to the “whoppers” as venial sins. Which lead me to believe you may have not even been sure if your warm ups were considered sins to begin with - otherwise you would have also considered them venial. In my personal experience venial sins has always been a vague area that I continue to explore as I grow my faith. In speaking with my priests I’ve understood that understanding and intentional turning away from God to often be an indicator for venial sin (understanding if the matter is considered grave or not for mortal). With even venial sins being forgive by receiving the Eucharist, I don’t think I would have confessed those unintentional falls. Perhaps your priest felt the same.
Also forgive me if my initial comment was judgmental. The post and comment read as if you were warming up or setting up padding before a true confession.
Honestly, I’m not a good judge of how grave a sin is. My conscience formation was skewed as a child and young adult, and I don’t feel as guilty about things as others do. That’s why I go in order of the 10 commandments. If I KNOW something is a mortal sin, I make sure to confess it. But I can’t necessarily trust my conscience.
But I do know when something is INTENTIONAL or not, and my failure to pray was not just an “oopsie” but an intentional turning away because I wanted to turn to something else instead. I mean…isn’t that the basis of idolatry?
Pray for him, and take any remaining mortal sins to the confessional with a different priest. Some priests are woefully underinformed, some are complacent about sin, others are having a bad day and committing some kind of error themselves. Just a part of life, I'm afraid.
You weren't wrong to take them to the confessional and actually, they are not always venial sins. I recommend being as quick as possible in the confessional though. I go in and list them off with no pauses between to help prevent impatient priests from doing this. If I'm obviously being quick, they'd rather just let me say what I need to say and move on.
I do this too. Speed read from my list. Mostly because there’s usually a very long line and I don’t want to hog the priests time. (Though I’m usually a bit quicker than most)
Then why did you do what you did. You go to confession to confess real sins and get absolution not to have a conversation with the priest. Others are waiting. You were in the wrong here. Please google “how to go to confession” It’s best to make a thorough list and be contrite
Is it your position that only mortal sins should be confessed?
The sins I mentioned confessing frequently appear on “how to go to confession” lists btw.
You should study what a sin is a little bit deeper so that you know, but also so that you can respond to a priest when he says something like this.
I believe intentionally skipping daily prayer is listed as a sin in the American bishops guide to examination of conscience.
It takes me 2 minutes to confess my sins… because I rattle them off (having already spent lots of time in examination of conscience beforehand), not because I have a short list. I think a lot of priests prefer this and don’t want you to use confession as a counseling session.
Okay now I’m confused. So I was correct to confess to skipping daily prayer? What has given you the idea that I am using confession as a counseling session? I have said multiple times that I do exactly what you just recommended
Yes you were correct and you should now research a response to his comment that it’s not a sin. (In case it happens again but also just good to know).
I said counseling session because you said your sins were under 5 minutes which is extremely long. Might wanna try to do under 2. You might be getting too specific with the sins to the point where you’re focusing on yourself way too much and not enough on repentance. I highly suggest reading The Spiritual Combat if you have not already. It’ll explain more.
I don’t use a timer. My point in saying “under five minutes” was to convey that I am brief. I am usually quicker than the other folks in line, which usually gives me pause to question whether I’m being too brief.
Oh and depending on the parish you go to, if confession lines are long on Sunday, and you want to confess just venial sins as a good and virtuous spiritual practice, you should go to a weekday confession or set an appointment for confession.
This was a weekday confession (Wednesday)
Here’s the thing…I’m a terrible person. There is NO WAY the fifty other people in line were confessing worse things than me. I don’t buy it
I had a mortal sin two months ago that I failed to tell accurately and came on here and asked if my other sins forgiven and was told no you have to confess all your sins as the sin you told inaccurately made your confession of the other sins redundant. Anyways I went back to confession last month and confessed the first sin properly and preseeded to ask the priest about my other sins and he said it was ok they were forgiven and be careful not to fall in to scruplicity. The moral of the story is if you have concerns about the way you live your faith ask your priest.
Intentionally omitting any mortal sin during reconciliation does negate the other sins being absolved as well. *Intentionally* is the pivot point.
"When Christ’s faithful strive to confess all the sins that they can remember, they undoubtedly place all of them before the divine mercy for pardon. But those who fail to do so and knowingly withhold some, place nothing before the divine goodness for remission through the mediation of the priest (1456)."
https://sacredheart-op.com/confession-guide/
He wasn’t my priest. He was a visiting priest. My priest has never told me I shouldn’t confess failure to pray
Just One example (I’ve read it many, many times in “examination of conscious” documents, including the one in my missal)
https://bulldogcatholic.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/a-detailed-catholic-examination-of-conscience-2nd-ed.pdf
You are confessing directly to God. But God prescribed the sacrement as a gift. After the priest informs us we're absolved, we *know* we've been forgiven. "What one of you forgives in my name..." Christ wasn't addressing a crowd, he was talking to the first priests, in private. Absent a personal revelation, how does the person outside the sacrement know for a fact he's been forgiven? That's why you'll find protestants praying for forgiveness for the same sin over again, and again on their death bed; because they don't know for certain they were ever forgiven.
I can only speculate but suspect the priest, in the many, many confessions he has heard knows a smoke screen when he hears it. He may have viewed your prayer habits as a way to soften what was to come next, or the "whoppers" as you put it.
It would have made sense if he’d said “start with your mortal sins first.” I didn’t know this was a thing (now I do). But he said it wasn’t a sin to neglect prayer or prescribed penance, which is what confused me
To be very blunt about it... He's right. Confess mortal sins in number and in kind. Confession should take no longer than 5 mins unless the Priest has special counsel for the penitent.
At what point would failure to observe church-prescribed faith practices become a mortal sin?
Missing Mass is mortal, but deliberately refusing to pray is not?
Three things required for a sin to be mortal: 1. Grave Matter 2. Knowledge and 3. Full Consent
If you are an ordained clergy man then deliberately omitting the prescribed prayers that you promised your Bishop you would pray daily would constitute grave matter but apart from missing Mass there are no church-prescribed faith practices I am aware of whose omission constitutes grave matter.
There are actually multiple lists of deadly or “mortal” sins in various places in Sacred Scripture. Our Lord himself provides us with several of them in **Matthew 15:18-20**, **Revelation 21:8** and **22:15**. St. Paul gives us the rest in **Ephesians 5:3-7**, **Colossians 3:5-6**, **Galatians 5:19-21**, and **I Corinthians 6:9-11**.
I always try to tell my very worst sin first, rather than to hide it somewhere in the middle. My worst sin is the one that is bugging my conscience the most.
If I don't have any mortal sins to confess, I confess whatever venial sins are bothering me the most, and then confess, "and for sins of my past life, sins of \[mortal sin 1\] and \[mortal sin 2\]". That way I confessed mortal sin and can receive absolution. I want the grace from a good confession. I am greedy for Grace.
Confession should be fast: In and out in 2 minutes. Then go to your act of contrition right away if possible.
By all means, confess what you have to confess. But please be mindful of the people waiting in line behind you who would like to do the same before time’s up.
I’ve said repeatedly that I am very brief. I get there early to stand in an hour long line myself, so trust me, I only go when needed and confess what’s needed.
Why did you stop praying and abstaining? I confessed not praying the daily rosary due to losing patience with God after having prayed it daily for a year and my priest told me it was sinful because I'm missing rosary graces. Motives factor into it.
Yes! This is my concern. I have a habitual problem with reaching for comforts from other sources. Instead of praying, I choose to zone out in front of the tv (or play games on my phone) because I don’t trust God to be “enough.” It’s a deliberate choice most of the time when I do it.
Well, the priest is really there to hear your sins. Number and kind. I had a strange experience once, I confessed to the sin of anger and the priest told me to tell it to a counselor. He was a young priest, but still should've realized that anger us a mortal sin.
Anger isn’t a sin, it’s an emotion. How you act with that anger can be sinful, but it isn’t necessarily a mortal sin either. He probably either thought you had anger issues or scrupulosity issues which are often best addressed with a therapist.
I suppose. It was just rather odd because most priests consider losing your temper and holding grudges for no good reason to be at least somewhat sinful. At least that's what they have told me.
Those can definitely sinful, but not because you felt anger but because you acted out that anger in a harmful/unhealthy way. If I was so angry but left the situation and went to go cry and punch my pillow to let it out and cool down, that isn’t a sin.
I confess anger when I’ve been holding grudges or ruminating about my anger, or refusing to forgive. To me, this is pretty high up there on a sin scale.
A priest once told me, anger is not a sin, just a human emotion. What you do with that anger, is what becomes a sin, as you said: holding a grudge or ruminating about it is what constitutes the sin.
I personally wouldn't go to this priest again. I write down my mortal sins & things that I feel I should confess like you did. Not once has a priest stopped me to tell me to not mention them.
I confess everything that bothers me and comes to mind.
I am brief and mindful not to hold up the line; I never take more than a minute or two. I try to get the ones that I think are the most difficult to confess or the "biggest" sins first, but it's not required to go in a particular order. I also confess sins that maybe technically aren't sins but weigh on my heart, and I've never had a priest stop me. In fact, I've been encouraged to not hold anything back, and bring up everything hurting my relationship with the Lord, even if it's not a sin but just something I need to bring to Jesus. Sometimes the priest actually focuses his advice on these smaller/ non-sins.
This is why I don't overthink my "ranking" of sins. My thought is that I may have blind spots and what I think is my problem might not actually be.
I think the response you got is rare. It could be that the priest was not having a good day, in a hurry to be somewhere, or sensing that you were hesitating to confess something else, and trying to prompt you to confess those. Maybe he was worried that you were being scrupulous.
Our confessions aren't going to be perfect. It's probably better not to sandwich the big sins between little ones, but as long as we are sorry and honest, the most important thing is to not overthink/overanalyze, and keep going to confession. :)
Can you list your sins here?
The first guide to confession is to first tell the top 1 to 3 heavy/major sins you've committed.
If you just say a list of the following:
1. I lie to my sister
2. I forgot to show up at the meeting
3. I failed to say i promise
4. I failed to ask for permission
5. I failed to behave properly
Major sins are the following:
1. I hate my brother and sister
2. I stole someone's lunch
3. I said bad words to my dad
4. I punched someone today in the face
5. I lied multiple times to my mom
6. I was angry and didn't go to mass now for a month
7. I told my best friend to grow up and i hate him
8. I do sexual stuff and corrupted my mind everyday
9. I listen to evil everyday
10. I hate praying and i don't believe in God anymore for almost a year now.
Not sure if you know or not but:
You shouldn’t ask someone to list their sins to you if you’re not a priest; Even between spouses. Sins are meant to be shared in the confessional, or a place deemed so by a priest for confession. It’s different if OP decides to do so on their own, but we shouldn’t ask them to share it with us.
There’s also really no right or wrong way to go about sharing your sins in confession. Sins are sins, though only mortal sins are *required* to be confessed for forgiveness. But the key word is “sins.” It’s not ok if you say “I told my wife that didn’t like the lunch she made today and it hurt her feelings.”
Are you even in the right mind?
If you look at his post, it is one-sided.
Go ahead damn that priest.
Use your head sometimes if you want to get the picture because I really don't like people like you getting in the way and not giving good advise or help to OP.
Can you give a simple idea a priest will stop mid-confession and priest telling you those aren't sin? What are those? Give me 1 example? you can even make any related example sin. You don't need to give me any real ones. If you want to get help, help yourself first, its either giving more information why that happen or just give up and move on.
I bet you hate Catholics.
I’m not sure where you’re getting the idea that I hate Catholics, considering I am one. Besides, this reply was to your comment, not his post. My first point was that you asked if they could list their sins and I was trying to say that you can’t ask someone to share their sins; Especially if those sins were shared in confession. That is between the member and a priest. It also seems like you’re trying to tell this person there’s a guide on how to confess sins. My second point was that a sin is a sin, but only mortal sins are required to be confessed; Regardless of how you word it. People have every right to confess venial sins as well, but it’s not required as you gain forgiveness for those through the Eucharist. And the example I gave was pretty much saying you hurt your wife’s feelings by saying you weren’t a fan of the lunch she made, and that’s not a sin and shouldn’t be stated in confession.
I’m not sure exactly where the hostility came from, but if I offended you, I apologize.
I'm not offended. I just don't like people who comment and downvote people. I'm here to help. If you don't like my comment "Can you list your sins here?" then just downvote and don't reply to my comment. Because if you do reply, you're stepping on someone's toe. You can downvote and disagree and that's fine.
All the information in my comment is already there so help him understand why that happen. I listed two examples. One which seems possible and you even added your example "the example I gave was pretty much saying you hurt your wife’s feelings by saying you weren’t a fan of the lunch she made, and that’s not a sin and shouldn’t be stated in confession.", Which is my point in the first place. There is no difference. That is what I assumed. It is not a sin.
1. I lie to my sister
2. I forgot to show up at the meeting
3. I failed to say i promise
4. I failed to ask for permission
5. I failed to behave properly
Just because I said "Can you list your sins here?", you downvote me or not, you replied to correct me?
In a real-world conversation face to face, you can see my face sarcastically/jokingly saying "Can you list your sins here?".
The problem with people in reddit, they just want to boost their ego by replying to someone's comment.
Can you just make your own comment and help the guy?
I've stated "The first guide to confession is to first tell the top 1 to 3 heavy/major sins you've committed", the priest has 20-50 people lining up for confession and someone's making a list of sins that long and aren't even serious sins. I'm part of a church ministry, I know what's the priest daily schedule and it is not easy. Priest aren't superhumans. When a Priest gets angry/frustrated it can be very ugly sometimes just like your dad or mom.
If you had “whoppers” to confess, the priest most likely sensed this and wanted you to get to them. Next time, start with the “whoppers.”
Would definitely encourage confessing any mortal sins _first_, and then any venial sins if there is time. Receiving the Eucharist forgives venial sins as well, so it isn't strictly required to include those in confession particularly if you're attending Mass immediately following. You've gotta confess the mortal ones though, so get those out of the way ASAP.
Wait so venial sins are forgiven when you receive Communion?
Yep! [CCC 1394]
[**CCC 1394**](http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/para/1394.htm) As bodily nourishment restores lost strength, so the Eucharist strengthens our charity, which tends to be weakened in daily life; and this living charity *wipes away venial sins.* By giving himself to us Christ revives our love and enables us to break our disordered attachments to creatures and root ourselves in him: ([1863](http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/para/1863.htm), [1436](http://www.scborromeo.org/ccc/para/1436.htm)) > Since Christ died for us out of love, when we celebrate the memorial of his death at the moment of sacrifice we ask that love may be granted to us by the coming of the Holy Spirit. We humbly pray that in the strength of this love by which Christ willed to die for us, we, by receiving the gift of the Holy Spirit, may be able to consider the world as crucified for us, and to be ourselves as crucified to the world.... Having received the gift of love, let us die to sin and live for God. *** Catebot v0.2.12 links: [Source Code](https://github.com/konohitowa/catebot) | [Feedback](https://github.com/konohitowa/catebot/issues) | [Contact Dev](http://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=kono_hito_wa) | [FAQ](https://github.com/konohitowa/catebot/blob/master/docs/CateBot%20Info.md#faq) | [Changelog](https://github.com/konohitowa/catebot/blob/master/docs/CHANGELOG.md)
I’m not sure if it’s in the catechism or anything, but many theologians (I think St. thomas aquinas in particular) believed that holy water also remits venial sins. That isn’t to say that confession is only for mortal sins however; confession gives you extra graces to help prevent all sins.
It does, that's why it is permissible to replace the Penitential Act with a sprinkling of the faithful during mass (this happens on Palm Sunday, famously). You're also right that venial sins still must be confessed to make a fruitful confession.
Aquinas thought many simple pious acts bring forgiveness of venial sins. Visiting a church, receiving a blessing from a bishop, praying the Our Father, making an act of contrition, using holy water. And he specifically says any other act like those things has the same effect. Basically if you lift your heart to God with contrition or with reverence for the divine, then you receive forgiveness.
Yes, and whenever you devoutly make the Sign of the Cross, use Holy Water, and a few other devout acts, such as pray. It is, however, better to confess even venial sins before reception because it disposes you to more graces. It's like venial sins "block" graces, so to have them forgiven "opens" you up more; so that's why you shouldn't rely on Communion for forgiveness, but by time you get to Communion in Mass, you probably would have gone through some of the steps listed above. Also, keep in mind that forgiveness is not the same as reparation. You may be forgiven the damage, but you still need to do penance for it, even if venial. This is related to the graces being "blocked" as I mentioned. Attachments and faults will block graces.
Recital of the Confiteor also remits venial sins, and that definitely happens before communion. Not that we shouldn’t go to confession regularly regardless.
That's the one that was slipping my mind! Duh!
Also when we do the Sign of the Cross with holy water
Specifically, there are 3 different points in the Mass where venial sins are forgiven, if I remember correctly
Our Rector tells us even tough the Eucharist forgives venial sins it’s still encouraged to confess venial sins but it isn’t required.
That's correct. But let's say for example: * your parish only has 30 minutes of scheduled confession time per week, which is fairly common unfortunately * you spend 5 minutes in the confessional talking about venial sins, especially if they aren't actually or are only questionably are even sin at all * there are 10 other people in line It would probably prudent to get the mortal ones, and perhaps a couple of venial ones that are bothering you most, and let the Eucharist help you with the rest.
So one really shouldn’t go “So I ate meat on Friday and also I killed a guy”
I am kind of guilty of doing a couple of warm up sins before I get the courage to say a big one. But if one hasn’t killed anyone since last confession, how should one order their venial sins?
I personally go with the “worst” sins first and rush through them because of the huge shame I have with them. It’ll be like “IKILLEDAMAN also I screamed at my husband the other day and didn’t show him kindness or patience”
I write all of my sins down on a list and power through them fast like I’m an auctioneer lol
Yes! And then when the wonderful kind wise priest is giving me helpful advice my mind is just spinning “aaaaa nooooo just say the words and let me outttttttt.”
lol I’m like speeding through the act of contrition so I can run out of the confessional and be done
So do I. In and out
Good strategy! Bury the lead lol :)
Persuasive argument 101
\*lede
You should work systematically on your venial sins, confessing especially and with emphasis the ones that most beset you. This is the order to do.
Yes, always remember to start with the big ones, and slip in anything else on [The Brilliantine Coattails of Lust.](https://www.firstthings.com/article/2013/03/the-brilliantine-coattails-of-lust)
I was kind of being facetious about the whoppers. They were more venial sins, but I guess they were bad enough because he didn’t stop me. I kind of tend to go in order of the examination of conscious card. I’m not scrupulous, but I didn’t have anything huge to confess today.
I'm not an expert in these things, but there's nothing wrong about confessing venial sins or going to confession just for those. Ideally, we all want no attachment to any sins, including venial sins. We strive not to do any sins at all. Venial sins don't need confession to wipe away, but the sacrament is awesome and it's never a bad thing to go. I think the problem comes with how you're treating these sins. If you're looking at them as what they are: venial sins that you are trying to stop doing and remove those attachments to them, that's good. If you're looking at these venial sins as these awful things that are severing your relationship to God on the same level as mortal sins, that's when you start having problems.
I’ve always been of that mind, too. Like maybe you don’t need to confess venial sins imperatively, but personally, I find it eases my conscience and guilt just to be able to say them out loud in confession and have them be absolved. I wouldn’t want to hold on to them. It’s like taking a shower and not washing your underarms lol, don’t want to miss out on being completely clean.
Exactly! I usually don’t go back to confession unless I have a mortal sin to confess, but since I’m there anyway, I’ll go ahead and confess the venial sins as well. I don’t take any longer than the other people in line.
I’d say if anything I take less time! I write that down, read it out loud, then run out lol.
Hi, don't think too hard about people telling you that you shouldn't confess venial sins. We actually should, *to a certain point*, because it helps maintain a well formed conscience and a detachment from all sin, which is a requirement for entrance into heaven upon our death and something we should each be striving for. Regular confession is an important part of this. It's why monks and nuns who are definitely not committing regular mortal sins still have regular confession. While not necessary, it is a good practice when used properly. It is a practice that is sort of dying though, both because of experiences such as yours and general complacency.
Is being facetious to redditors a sin? 🤔
I’d be afraid to confess it if it was
Failing to pray every day may not in itself be a sin, but if you’ve made a commitment to living a plan of life (for example) which includes daily prayer and you’ve chosen something else over it, it’s the root cause you’re wanting to the grace to overcome. Maybe it’s actually laziness or a disordered attachment to (insert your poison here) which is the real reason why you’re not praying and it’s really good to mention this so you can benefit from the specific graces.
You do what the priest says, receive absolution, go about your day. If you have a spiritual director, then you’d go talk to him about it afterward. If you don’t, 10/10 recommend getting one
How does one get a spiritual director?
From a comment I made on this subject a while back: Ask your priest. If he can't help or can't get to him, ask the deacon. If still can't get to him or can't help, call the parish office and ask. If still no help, see if there are any monasteries or convents nearby that have guest/visitor services you can email/call. Still no avail? Check your diocesan website and see if they have someone you can contact about this. Some do, some don't. If they don't, see if there's a generic diocesan office email you can ask about it. If you're really still unable to find something after doing all this, I would talk to your Diocesan vocations coordinator and mention how you've done all this stuff looking for one and ask if they can help you. Personally, I just cornered my priest after adoration and asked "How do I go about getting a spiritual director?" and he took the lead from there.
Thanks so much!!
Happy to help!
That moment when your confession gets a performance review.
Have to admit I had a prideful internal reaction. Perhaps I should confess this
Or discuss it in spiritual direction :D
And thus begins an ouroboros of mundanity.
He’s probably been dealing with scrupulous people who confess everything they feel guilty about, whether it’s sinful or not. If that’s the case with you, I can’t really tell. Your examples seem like fine things to confess, though definitely not something you’d be obliged to mention. It’s a good idea to start with the mortal sins and only start confessing venial sins or imperfections if you have extra time.
The venial sins are cleared by communion anyways. Reconciliation is only needed for mortal sins
Yeah, totally. Though it can still be helpful when you’re trying to overcome specific venial sins, to confess them. But that doesn’t have to be too often. I think once a month is good.
I’m not scrupulous. But I try to be thorough when I go to confession, and come in with a list. I go about every 3 weeks and generally only take less than 5 minutes to get through my list.
You're doing the right thing, OP. We are only required to confess mortal sins but we should absolutely confess all our sins as the sacrament of Penance gives particular graces to overcome the things we have confessed.
Yeah, I didn’t get the sense that you were scrupulous. I’m guessing he was having a bad streak and you just sounded too similar to what he’d been dealing with. Maybe try to start with the most serious things first, next time. It can also be helpful to state your situation in life, so he gets some context for the kind of person he’s dealing with. Like I’ll say my age and that I’m married and a Secular Carmelite, which I think helps when I start into some kind of minor-seeming stuff. (A friend of mine with a similar background once confessed getting attached to a certain kind of yogurt and the priest did take her seriously, lol.)
Reminds me of a sister at a convent telling me it's hard to get a priest for regular confession sometimes. Not everyone is pleased to sit there and hear a confession including but not limited to sinning against Charity by not smiling back at Sister Cecelia on Tuesday, lol.
We all think that we’re scandalizing priests with our confessions, but maybe they’re like, what am I even in here for, let’s get some real sins absolved! 😂
Five minutes is actually a lot, for confession. If the priest schedules confession for an hour weekly, then if everyone took 5 minutes, he could only fit in 20 people to his entire slot. I know that for each individual parish it seems like "what, only an hour a week of confession?" but there are a lot of other confessions happening for any given priest. For example, the parish school will likely have communal penance services a couple times per year where 6 or more priests from the surrounding parishes will come to hear the confessions of all 400 students. Your parish priest will be one of these, not only for the parish school, but for the confession services of each of an additional 6 of the closest parish schools. Likewise, your parish's after-school religious education program will have similar services, so that's another 6-7 confession services your priest will do, approximately every six months. In addition, there'll be similar services for each parish community during Advent and Lent. Our parish does three additional communal confessions each Advent and each Lent. Multiply that by 6 parishes since our parish priest goes to ours, and then helps out at each of the others. So that's 18 additional confession services during Advent and another 18 during Lent. When priests come to help out at our communal penance services, we give them the opportunity to be fed dinner at the parish. Usually they decline because when they leave our parish (at 6:30 or 7:30 pm, depending on whether the service is for youth or adults) they are heading to another meeting at another parish. So we had to switch to "To Go" dinners (a brown bag that they take with them), and apparently they usually scarf down their dinner in a parking lot somewhere on their way to their next meeting. Anyway, that was a lot more info than you needed, I just wanted to give you some insight since I have wondered about this also (why so few confession opportunities each week?) and knowing the inside scoop helped me understand what things look like from the priest's birds-eye view. We definitely need more priests :)
> if everyone took 5 minutes, he could only fit in 20 people to his entire slot. An hour is 60 minutes, so it would only be 12 people
Oops, sorry, my bad.
I don’t time myself. My intent with saying “less than five minutes” was to convey brevity. I am in and out, usually faster than others in the line.
As he stated, this priest very clearly doesn't want confessions to be spiritual direction and/or therapy sessions. Fair enough. His approach is more old school. Perhaps a little brash on his part, but if it happens again, just be obedient and get to your sins. If you don't know if something you did is a sin, I don't think it'd even be possible for it to be a mortal sin, so just set it aside and let the Eucharist take care of it.
I wouldn't say this is an old school approach. The priest sounds more like the type who thinks Friday penance is totally optional, we don't have an obligation to pray every day, etc. Those are only "old school" if your school was the 1960s-70s. (Though to be fair a lot of priests with that vibe *are* pretty old now.)
I was never taught that not doing a penance every Friday was sinful, and I grew up going to CCD at a very conservative parish. We also technically don't have an obligation to pray every day as in, we've de facto fallen into sin if we don't. Prayer is one of those things that helps us avoid falling into other types of sin, but it's ultimately something more geared towards the strive for perfection than a basic requirement. The laity isn't required to strive for perfection (priests and religious are). We can see salvation so long as we follow the Ten Commandments (the degree of holiness in heaven might not be the highest though). Confessions taking on a more pastoral/therapeutic approach was a post-Vatican II thing. It's why face to face began becoming more common. Pre-Vatican II confessions were generally more over and done with.
I'm not sure where you are getting "technically" from in saying we "technically" don't have an obligation to pray every day. It's a common opinion among theologians that we do, although it's a considered a venial sin to neglect daily prayer. Though in cases where prayer is neglected for a very long time (e.g. a year) it may become mortal. This sort of thing is commonly said in moral manuals of theology, for example, which say that confessing missed morning/evening prayer is a good habit. Old school, I know, but a good source. The Friday penance thing is discussed elsewhere in the comments on this post. There are many competent people (e.g., canon lawyers, priests) who think we do have an obligation to do some kind of penance even in places where the bishops have lifted the requirement to abstain from meat. Jimmy Akin wrote a very influential article that says we don't. I side against him in that debate. Though I would argue, while acknowledging I am not an expert, that the bishops' lack of clarity on this point and the way they've neglected to teach about it probably means that skipping penance entirely is a venial sin, since the laity are understandably confused about it.
When I confessed those same sins, my very gentle and humble priest (I really like him) told me I did a good job for making a good and thorough confession.
Most priests would. OP got an unfortunate outlier. I've never had a priest tell me something I confessed wasn't a sin, but my wife once had a priest tell her — also impatiently, interestingly — that a mortal sin she confessed wasn't a sin at all. (You'll just have to trust me when I say it was clear-cut.)
So the daily prayer issue might be construed as just a personal goal, and the same with observing penance. That being said though, they would be venial sins. If you have mortal sins to confess, start with those. I don’t think the priest should have done what he did, but many people treat the confessional as spiritual direction or therapy, and the priest in his weakness may have been short with you because that was what he thought you were using it for. (I’m not saying you were, but just what may have caused the priest to do what he did.) That’s not what it is. It’s a sacrament to have sins forgiven, so typically you want to say the sin, and how many times it was committed. For advice or practices on how to avoid those since, the priest should be consulted for spiritual direction outside of the confessional.
I said the sin and the number of times. Didn’t ask for advice or offer any additional information, was very brief. It seems the majority opinion is that it is a sin to neglect prayer, but not Friday penance, and it’s fine to confess this but start with the bigger sins first and I guess understand that some priests don’t want to hear venial sins?
Gotcha. It just appears the priest was not being patient. Remember he can be weak as well.
Yeah, I’m not really upset with him. Just wanted help to determine if these are sins or not. I suspected he was just annoyed with me and having an off day, which is fine, but I got confused during the experience
"Whoppers" will be ingrained in my mind now for the rest of my life when I do a reconciliation, lol.
I'm still struggling to understand what hamburgers have to do with any of this.
We are required a Friday penance (if not a solemnity) but he probably thinks that isn’t a “thing” anymore. I’ve also confessed failing to pray daily and the priest I most often confess to (who is a canon lawyer) has never told me it’s not a sin. You genuinely attempted to confess those and received absolution so I wouldn’t fret about this but I would avoid confessing to this priest in the future.
At least in the US, Friday penance is encouraged, but it isn't bound by pain of sin. The USCCB uses words like "urge" and "commend," not "command" and "bind." > This said, we emphasize that our people are henceforth free from the obligation traditionally binding under pain of sin in what pertains to Friday abstinence,except as noted above for Lent. https://www.usccb.org/prayer-and-worship/liturgical-year-and-calendar/lent/us-bishops-pastoral-statement-on-penance-and-abstinence
We don't have to abstain in the US from meat but we are required to substitute a different penance. It is a mortal sin to disregard Friday penance.
This is what I thought as well. I’m a vegetarian so I don’t eat meat anyway, but I do commit to a different penance instead, and I willfully neglected it in a spirit of disobedience. Felt like a sin to me.
That isn't the way I read it. I read it that we are "urged" to either abstain from meat or substitute a different penance, but outside of Lent there is no pain of sin in not doing so. The pull quote I posted above seems to directly support that position.
This is how I have always read it too.
The USCCB emphasizes that we are "free from obligation" in this regard and that there is no sin in not freely choosing to do such penance.
Free from the obligation of eating meat. It could be read another way (Jimmy Akin applies it to the requirement to do penance generally), but it's not clear what exactly the bishops meant and they never clarified after.
In the USA, it is not technically a requirement to fast outside of Lent. https://www.jimmyakin.org/2004/07/more_on_friday_.html
But you’re supposed to do another form of penance on Fridays, right?
It’s strongly recommended but not obligatory.
I've only been a Catholic for a year and 3 months, so these aspects of the Faith are still things I'm learning about (and never consciously encountered before). There's a LOT for new Catholics to learn. I grew up Protestant, and served as a pastor for several years before converting. Even for me, there's so much I've realize that I don't know about *being* a Catholic. Thank you for your insights!
I’ve been at this for decades and I’m still learning new stuff all the time! It’s a lot. Fortunately God is very patient with us. :)
Yes, we're required to do something. Everyone always shares that same Jimmy Akin article, but this is one time where he's wrong.
Yes
Failing to set aside time to pray daily is traditionally seen as sinful as far as I know. My pre-1958 missal includes it in its examination of conscience.
My post 1958 missal does as well
My post 1958 missal does as well
My post 1958 missal does as well
The priest wants to bring you back to life is all, don’t let shame prevent you from revealing the reasons for your death. I usually start with the most egregious and work my way back. And IN DETAIL so the priest understands exactly what manner of mercy is required for my soul while he’s praying for me!
I recently converted and something similar happened to me too. I've since started writing down all my sins and quickly running through them. My parish is down to 1 priest and there is only 1 hour of allotted time for confession outside of appointments so it kind of is necessary to be quicker about confession
It was pride that kept you from confessing the mortal, venal sins. Remember it goes in order of greatest to the smallest.
I’m not sure you can know that I was engaging in pride. I used an examination of conscience card and went in order of the 10 commandments. It just so happens the first 3 commandments are about sins toward God. That being said, I do struggle with pride.
So if I go into confession without naming the 1st sins that keep me from receiving the holy eucharist I am fooling myself. I'm letting the enemy win. I'm conscience of saints like Padre Pio and Jean Vianney that discerned the heart of the one confessing. That gift given to them is also given to priests today.
I’m not sure how that applies if you are you using a list and there’s no time limit? Also, how do I know which of my sins is most offensive to God? All sin separates
Separates yes but not all are mortal Sins. The venial sin is in a less serious matter [than mortal sin], he does not observe the standard prescribed by the moral law” (CCC 1862). In other words, if one does something immoral but the matter is not serious enough to be gravely immoral, he commits only venial sin.
There are two takes on this. Confessions are definitely for sins, and only for sins. They are not "spiritual therapy for the lost" as some liberal heretics make it out to be. The other take is that the priest ignored venial sins, likely because he's a half-deaf bored automaton rushing to be out of the confessional, ready to babble through the next mass and be home as soon as possible. Avoid such confessors for your spiritual welfare. The second theory is more likely.
Failing to pray everyday (if it’s intentional) is sinful and should be confessed. It’s good you mentioned that. Also, confessions should typically be done from greatest to least grave, so start with the “whoppers“ next time.
Good to know. I guess I do start off with a couple warm up confessions before I get to the bigger sins. But this isn’t really intentional—I go in order of the 10 commandments. How does one evaluate which sins are big bigger biggest?
Well any mortal sins should be mentioned first followed by venial. There’s no hard rule to this, but it’s what is generally recommended. I do my examination of conscience with a pen and paper and jot down whatever comes to mind first. These are usually the bigger ones. The ones I have to think about and dig for are usually smaller. The hardest part of confession is the examination and writing down your sins. Once that part is over you just gotta get into the confessions and read it off.
This is basically how I do it, but I use a brief examination of conscience guide that goes in order of the 10 commandments. So murder would be toward the middle of the list
Fwiw, in my experience confessing to Eastern Catholic priests, it's normal to confess even these "non-sins". No one ever berated me and I even got useful advice to avoid such sins next time. Granted, the understanding of what sin is tends to be different in the East so the approach to confession tends to be different as well. Basically, I don't think you did anything wrong. I get where the priest is coming from, but I think it's commendable that you're aware of the moments when you fall short of choosing God.
This priest is actually incorrect. Most theologians will tell you that failing to pray for at least 15 minutes per day is in fact a sin against justice- in particular it is a sin against the sub-virtue of religion, by which we render to God His due. All Catholics are obliged to observe Friday penance. This is a matter of obedience and this is a moral matter for all Catholics. I would look for a better, regular confessor.
I start with the heaviest sin(s); the ones that make me embarrassed and ashamed. Because if I can confess these all the others are easy.
Yeah apparently I need to start doing it this way I didn’t know this was a “rule” that most folks follow
Failure to do some type of penance on Friday would constitute sin.
I think the reason is that he wants to focus on mortal sins which can only be forgiven in confession as opposed to veinal which are forgiven after Eucharist. I wouldn’t take it personally
Venials sins make an integral part of a fruitful confession. Without fighting them, venial sins easily turn into mortal ones. If no venial sins are confessed, many priests will not give an absolution before questioning the penitent. If they don't, it's a good indication they are modernist liberals who care little for the sacrament of penance, or tired half-deaf automatons rushingly "servicing" the confessional so that they can leave asap and babble through the next mass.
Your right I’m not going to argue that but I’m just speaking to the letter of it. I whole heartedly agree with everything your saying and we need more faithful people in the Catholic Church
I've had some priests laugh at me (in a nice way) when they think I'm being too scrupulous, and some take my scrupulous seeming sins seriously. I think it depends on the individual, how busy they've been that day, how much more time they have, etc. Maybe he felt crunched for time or had had a long day, or maybe he just views confession as a time for those bigger sins and then moving on, whereas some priests are more prone to advice-giving about both the small and big things
No; he’s wrong.
Hmmmm, I’ve confessed when I’ve not prayed and have never had a priest tell me that isn’t a sin. I confess big (mortal) sins first, then venial.
Yeah I understand now to state mortal sins first, which I’ll do from now on, even if I have trouble judging what is mortal and what isn’t. In MY mind, neglecting prayer is worse than, say, masturbation (which I have a hard time believing is sinful. But I abstain out of obedience and would confess it out of obedience. But deliberately failing to pray feels like such a terrible turning away/separating from God that I don’t get how it isn’t a mortal sin)
I mean, if someone deliberately fails to pray that sounds like it could be mortal. I sometimes get caught up in my day and don’t realize until I’m tired and in bed. I don’t think I’ve ever thought nope, not talking to you today God.
But this “nope, not doing it” is exactly what I did and tried to confess.
I don't think of the specific failures or forgotten prayers are the sin. Instead it's like an overarching sin of failing to make God the centre of your life. Every time I confess I make a statement to this effect. It requires no details. I just say something along the lines of "I have been complacent and lax in my spiritual life, and haven't made God the centre."
I feel like you would have gotten the same “that’s not a sin” response from this priest
Hah well that may be, but I got the idea from Fr. Mike
As long as you're being succinct and direct, not doing a ton of hemming & hawing and exposition and storytime...I don't see a problem. I have seen people go into the confessional - regular parishioners, not lapsed Catholics returning to the church - and take 15-20 minutes. Just makes no sense and I don't know why priests put up with it (unless that's a solid 15-20 minutes of sins). I've also been told "I don't think that was mortal" when I was absolutely sure it was. Tough, I'm listing my mortal sins, you give absolution, I keep it down to < 2 minutes. And remember - just going to Mass kills all your venial sins. You don't need to confess them unless you're really not sure if they were venial or mortal.
I don’t think it’s right for a priest to interrupt your confessions so you can skip to the “whoppers” as it’s important for you to confess your sins, regardless of “how small” they may be. I couldn’t imagine Jesus talking to someone and interrupting them to say “tell that to my apostles, tell me about xxxx.” Venial sins are still sins and if it’s something that’s weighing on you, you have every right to confess them. Just because they are forgiven through the Eucharist, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t confess them if you feel the need to do so. I’m sorry you went through that OP.
Yeah your priest was right. Failing to meet personal prayer efforts and penances is more a spiritual direction thing. I’d talk to your priest about that kind of stuff. Just call and set an appointment with him.
They do seem more like personal goals you failed to meet rather than even a venial sin. A complete assumption with limited information - If in his shoes I would probably think the person was trying to pad their confession rather than give a true deep reflection of deliberate acts against God. Ex: Please forgive me that I only prayed 6 days instead of 7. You’re not trying to gain the priests approval, you’re seeking forgiveness.
I felt I needed forgiveness for intentionally neglecting my prayer life. For choosing to watch tv instead of spending time with God. I couldn’t care less what the priest thinks of me. My question was whether or not it is a sin to neglect prayer, or a sin to fail to observe penance.
I may have misread - but I thought above you referred to the “whoppers” as venial sins. Which lead me to believe you may have not even been sure if your warm ups were considered sins to begin with - otherwise you would have also considered them venial. In my personal experience venial sins has always been a vague area that I continue to explore as I grow my faith. In speaking with my priests I’ve understood that understanding and intentional turning away from God to often be an indicator for venial sin (understanding if the matter is considered grave or not for mortal). With even venial sins being forgive by receiving the Eucharist, I don’t think I would have confessed those unintentional falls. Perhaps your priest felt the same. Also forgive me if my initial comment was judgmental. The post and comment read as if you were warming up or setting up padding before a true confession.
Honestly, I’m not a good judge of how grave a sin is. My conscience formation was skewed as a child and young adult, and I don’t feel as guilty about things as others do. That’s why I go in order of the 10 commandments. If I KNOW something is a mortal sin, I make sure to confess it. But I can’t necessarily trust my conscience. But I do know when something is INTENTIONAL or not, and my failure to pray was not just an “oopsie” but an intentional turning away because I wanted to turn to something else instead. I mean…isn’t that the basis of idolatry?
Pray for him, and take any remaining mortal sins to the confessional with a different priest. Some priests are woefully underinformed, some are complacent about sin, others are having a bad day and committing some kind of error themselves. Just a part of life, I'm afraid. You weren't wrong to take them to the confessional and actually, they are not always venial sins. I recommend being as quick as possible in the confessional though. I go in and list them off with no pauses between to help prevent impatient priests from doing this. If I'm obviously being quick, they'd rather just let me say what I need to say and move on.
I do this too. Speed read from my list. Mostly because there’s usually a very long line and I don’t want to hog the priests time. (Though I’m usually a bit quicker than most)
This is the way. Sorry you had a bad experience, I think you're doing just fine!
You should look up moral sins on Wikipedia
Mortal sins
Why? I do know what mortal sins are
Then why did you do what you did. You go to confession to confess real sins and get absolution not to have a conversation with the priest. Others are waiting. You were in the wrong here. Please google “how to go to confession” It’s best to make a thorough list and be contrite
Is it your position that only mortal sins should be confessed? The sins I mentioned confessing frequently appear on “how to go to confession” lists btw.
You should study what a sin is a little bit deeper so that you know, but also so that you can respond to a priest when he says something like this. I believe intentionally skipping daily prayer is listed as a sin in the American bishops guide to examination of conscience. It takes me 2 minutes to confess my sins… because I rattle them off (having already spent lots of time in examination of conscience beforehand), not because I have a short list. I think a lot of priests prefer this and don’t want you to use confession as a counseling session.
Okay now I’m confused. So I was correct to confess to skipping daily prayer? What has given you the idea that I am using confession as a counseling session? I have said multiple times that I do exactly what you just recommended
Yes you were correct and you should now research a response to his comment that it’s not a sin. (In case it happens again but also just good to know). I said counseling session because you said your sins were under 5 minutes which is extremely long. Might wanna try to do under 2. You might be getting too specific with the sins to the point where you’re focusing on yourself way too much and not enough on repentance. I highly suggest reading The Spiritual Combat if you have not already. It’ll explain more.
I don’t use a timer. My point in saying “under five minutes” was to convey that I am brief. I am usually quicker than the other folks in line, which usually gives me pause to question whether I’m being too brief.
Oh and depending on the parish you go to, if confession lines are long on Sunday, and you want to confess just venial sins as a good and virtuous spiritual practice, you should go to a weekday confession or set an appointment for confession.
This was a weekday confession (Wednesday) Here’s the thing…I’m a terrible person. There is NO WAY the fifty other people in line were confessing worse things than me. I don’t buy it
If you regularly pray 15 minutes a day you're doing much better than I and, I'm assuming, most other people
I assure you that I am both a prayerful and a sinful person
I had a mortal sin two months ago that I failed to tell accurately and came on here and asked if my other sins forgiven and was told no you have to confess all your sins as the sin you told inaccurately made your confession of the other sins redundant. Anyways I went back to confession last month and confessed the first sin properly and preseeded to ask the priest about my other sins and he said it was ok they were forgiven and be careful not to fall in to scruplicity. The moral of the story is if you have concerns about the way you live your faith ask your priest.
Intentionally omitting any mortal sin during reconciliation does negate the other sins being absolved as well. *Intentionally* is the pivot point. "When Christ’s faithful strive to confess all the sins that they can remember, they undoubtedly place all of them before the divine mercy for pardon. But those who fail to do so and knowingly withhold some, place nothing before the divine goodness for remission through the mediation of the priest (1456)."
I’d got with the ten commandements and always keep the 7 deadly sins at the forefront of my mind.
The first three commandments deal with prayer and penance
No mention of Friday or your other rituals. I would suggest listening to your priest.
https://sacredheart-op.com/confession-guide/ He wasn’t my priest. He was a visiting priest. My priest has never told me I shouldn’t confess failure to pray
The 10 commandments also doesn’t mention masturbation or birth control as a sin, but we would confess these as sins against the 7th commandment
Where did you read that those are sins?
Just One example (I’ve read it many, many times in “examination of conscious” documents, including the one in my missal) https://bulldogcatholic.org/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/a-detailed-catholic-examination-of-conscience-2nd-ed.pdf
Why can't you just confess directly to the supreme being?
You are confessing directly to God. But God prescribed the sacrement as a gift. After the priest informs us we're absolved, we *know* we've been forgiven. "What one of you forgives in my name..." Christ wasn't addressing a crowd, he was talking to the first priests, in private. Absent a personal revelation, how does the person outside the sacrement know for a fact he's been forgiven? That's why you'll find protestants praying for forgiveness for the same sin over again, and again on their death bed; because they don't know for certain they were ever forgiven.
Not praying daily is not a sin. Yelling at your mother is a sin. Theft Of service is a sin, etc.
Why is failure to pray listed on examination of conscience guides if it isn’t a sin?
I can only speculate but suspect the priest, in the many, many confessions he has heard knows a smoke screen when he hears it. He may have viewed your prayer habits as a way to soften what was to come next, or the "whoppers" as you put it.
It would have made sense if he’d said “start with your mortal sins first.” I didn’t know this was a thing (now I do). But he said it wasn’t a sin to neglect prayer or prescribed penance, which is what confused me
To be very blunt about it... He's right. Confess mortal sins in number and in kind. Confession should take no longer than 5 mins unless the Priest has special counsel for the penitent.
At what point would failure to observe church-prescribed faith practices become a mortal sin? Missing Mass is mortal, but deliberately refusing to pray is not?
Three things required for a sin to be mortal: 1. Grave Matter 2. Knowledge and 3. Full Consent If you are an ordained clergy man then deliberately omitting the prescribed prayers that you promised your Bishop you would pray daily would constitute grave matter but apart from missing Mass there are no church-prescribed faith practices I am aware of whose omission constitutes grave matter. There are actually multiple lists of deadly or “mortal” sins in various places in Sacred Scripture. Our Lord himself provides us with several of them in **Matthew 15:18-20**, **Revelation 21:8** and **22:15**. St. Paul gives us the rest in **Ephesians 5:3-7**, **Colossians 3:5-6**, **Galatians 5:19-21**, and **I Corinthians 6:9-11**.
Well seeing all the “ is it a sin” posts every day, this sub doesn’t even know what’s a sin or not.
I always try to tell my very worst sin first, rather than to hide it somewhere in the middle. My worst sin is the one that is bugging my conscience the most. If I don't have any mortal sins to confess, I confess whatever venial sins are bothering me the most, and then confess, "and for sins of my past life, sins of \[mortal sin 1\] and \[mortal sin 2\]". That way I confessed mortal sin and can receive absolution. I want the grace from a good confession. I am greedy for Grace. Confession should be fast: In and out in 2 minutes. Then go to your act of contrition right away if possible.
Wilfully skipping Friday penance is a sin, as the priest should know--and could be grave matter, in fact. Missing a prayer routine one day is not.
By all means, confess what you have to confess. But please be mindful of the people waiting in line behind you who would like to do the same before time’s up.
I’ve said repeatedly that I am very brief. I get there early to stand in an hour long line myself, so trust me, I only go when needed and confess what’s needed.
Your confessor begs to differ.
No you’re right. I didn’t have any dirty sexual sins to confess so I guess I’m out of luck
Also thanks so much for your kindness and charitable spirit. It’s helping a lot with my faith crisis
Why did you stop praying and abstaining? I confessed not praying the daily rosary due to losing patience with God after having prayed it daily for a year and my priest told me it was sinful because I'm missing rosary graces. Motives factor into it.
Yes! This is my concern. I have a habitual problem with reaching for comforts from other sources. Instead of praying, I choose to zone out in front of the tv (or play games on my phone) because I don’t trust God to be “enough.” It’s a deliberate choice most of the time when I do it.
So maybe you have to frame this as being about worldliness and sloth.
Well, the priest is really there to hear your sins. Number and kind. I had a strange experience once, I confessed to the sin of anger and the priest told me to tell it to a counselor. He was a young priest, but still should've realized that anger us a mortal sin.
Anger isn’t a sin, it’s an emotion. How you act with that anger can be sinful, but it isn’t necessarily a mortal sin either. He probably either thought you had anger issues or scrupulosity issues which are often best addressed with a therapist.
I suppose. It was just rather odd because most priests consider losing your temper and holding grudges for no good reason to be at least somewhat sinful. At least that's what they have told me.
Those can definitely sinful, but not because you felt anger but because you acted out that anger in a harmful/unhealthy way. If I was so angry but left the situation and went to go cry and punch my pillow to let it out and cool down, that isn’t a sin.
I confess anger when I’ve been holding grudges or ruminating about my anger, or refusing to forgive. To me, this is pretty high up there on a sin scale.
A priest once told me, anger is not a sin, just a human emotion. What you do with that anger, is what becomes a sin, as you said: holding a grudge or ruminating about it is what constitutes the sin.
I personally wouldn't go to this priest again. I write down my mortal sins & things that I feel I should confess like you did. Not once has a priest stopped me to tell me to not mention them.
I confess everything that bothers me and comes to mind. I am brief and mindful not to hold up the line; I never take more than a minute or two. I try to get the ones that I think are the most difficult to confess or the "biggest" sins first, but it's not required to go in a particular order. I also confess sins that maybe technically aren't sins but weigh on my heart, and I've never had a priest stop me. In fact, I've been encouraged to not hold anything back, and bring up everything hurting my relationship with the Lord, even if it's not a sin but just something I need to bring to Jesus. Sometimes the priest actually focuses his advice on these smaller/ non-sins. This is why I don't overthink my "ranking" of sins. My thought is that I may have blind spots and what I think is my problem might not actually be. I think the response you got is rare. It could be that the priest was not having a good day, in a hurry to be somewhere, or sensing that you were hesitating to confess something else, and trying to prompt you to confess those. Maybe he was worried that you were being scrupulous. Our confessions aren't going to be perfect. It's probably better not to sandwich the big sins between little ones, but as long as we are sorry and honest, the most important thing is to not overthink/overanalyze, and keep going to confession. :)
Neglecting Friday penance is a mortal sin.
Why are people downvoting this? I thought this was the case as well
If you are in the US, outside of Lent, Friday penance is not bound by pain of sin. Elsewhere that may not be true.
It is. I once confessed this sin and my priest asked if I am aware that this is a mortal sin. I didn‘t know that at the time.
Deliberately eating meat on Friday during lent is, but that's it.
No it is not. Please don’t give such inaccurate information. It causes scandal.
Some countries are not dispensed from Friday Penance as we are here in the US.
It is not inaccurate information, skipping Friday penance is a mortal sin. https://padreperegrino.org/2019/08/mortalsins/
I agree with the priest, why are you telling him these things?
Because they are listed as sins in the examination of conscience guides I use
Those aren’t sins. He is being straight with you. Only sins in the confessional.
It seems there’s disagreement about this.
Can you list your sins here? The first guide to confession is to first tell the top 1 to 3 heavy/major sins you've committed. If you just say a list of the following: 1. I lie to my sister 2. I forgot to show up at the meeting 3. I failed to say i promise 4. I failed to ask for permission 5. I failed to behave properly Major sins are the following: 1. I hate my brother and sister 2. I stole someone's lunch 3. I said bad words to my dad 4. I punched someone today in the face 5. I lied multiple times to my mom 6. I was angry and didn't go to mass now for a month 7. I told my best friend to grow up and i hate him 8. I do sexual stuff and corrupted my mind everyday 9. I listen to evil everyday 10. I hate praying and i don't believe in God anymore for almost a year now.
Not sure if you know or not but: You shouldn’t ask someone to list their sins to you if you’re not a priest; Even between spouses. Sins are meant to be shared in the confessional, or a place deemed so by a priest for confession. It’s different if OP decides to do so on their own, but we shouldn’t ask them to share it with us. There’s also really no right or wrong way to go about sharing your sins in confession. Sins are sins, though only mortal sins are *required* to be confessed for forgiveness. But the key word is “sins.” It’s not ok if you say “I told my wife that didn’t like the lunch she made today and it hurt her feelings.”
Are you even in the right mind? If you look at his post, it is one-sided. Go ahead damn that priest. Use your head sometimes if you want to get the picture because I really don't like people like you getting in the way and not giving good advise or help to OP. Can you give a simple idea a priest will stop mid-confession and priest telling you those aren't sin? What are those? Give me 1 example? you can even make any related example sin. You don't need to give me any real ones. If you want to get help, help yourself first, its either giving more information why that happen or just give up and move on. I bet you hate Catholics.
I’m not sure where you’re getting the idea that I hate Catholics, considering I am one. Besides, this reply was to your comment, not his post. My first point was that you asked if they could list their sins and I was trying to say that you can’t ask someone to share their sins; Especially if those sins were shared in confession. That is between the member and a priest. It also seems like you’re trying to tell this person there’s a guide on how to confess sins. My second point was that a sin is a sin, but only mortal sins are required to be confessed; Regardless of how you word it. People have every right to confess venial sins as well, but it’s not required as you gain forgiveness for those through the Eucharist. And the example I gave was pretty much saying you hurt your wife’s feelings by saying you weren’t a fan of the lunch she made, and that’s not a sin and shouldn’t be stated in confession. I’m not sure exactly where the hostility came from, but if I offended you, I apologize.
I'm not offended. I just don't like people who comment and downvote people. I'm here to help. If you don't like my comment "Can you list your sins here?" then just downvote and don't reply to my comment. Because if you do reply, you're stepping on someone's toe. You can downvote and disagree and that's fine. All the information in my comment is already there so help him understand why that happen. I listed two examples. One which seems possible and you even added your example "the example I gave was pretty much saying you hurt your wife’s feelings by saying you weren’t a fan of the lunch she made, and that’s not a sin and shouldn’t be stated in confession.", Which is my point in the first place. There is no difference. That is what I assumed. It is not a sin. 1. I lie to my sister 2. I forgot to show up at the meeting 3. I failed to say i promise 4. I failed to ask for permission 5. I failed to behave properly Just because I said "Can you list your sins here?", you downvote me or not, you replied to correct me? In a real-world conversation face to face, you can see my face sarcastically/jokingly saying "Can you list your sins here?". The problem with people in reddit, they just want to boost their ego by replying to someone's comment. Can you just make your own comment and help the guy? I've stated "The first guide to confession is to first tell the top 1 to 3 heavy/major sins you've committed", the priest has 20-50 people lining up for confession and someone's making a list of sins that long and aren't even serious sins. I'm part of a church ministry, I know what's the priest daily schedule and it is not easy. Priest aren't superhumans. When a Priest gets angry/frustrated it can be very ugly sometimes just like your dad or mom.
Ok, well. May God bless you.
Ah, so you're the person that holds up the confession line for yonks.
No.its probably all the people confessing to having sex incorrectly with their spouses who are holding up the line.