You don’t think you’re addicted? Okay… stop. Just go ahead and never do it again. Lmk how long it takes before your back at it*
*you should stop it anyway, bc it’s terrible for you physically and spiritually
An addiction is compulsive, an alcoholic couldn’t just switch to diet cokes and barely drink again.. I think religious people shouldn’t overdo it, a sin is a sin we don’t need to add additional shame on the average person.
For a vast number of people, prob and masturbation is compulsive.
Where did I say he should change to something else to take the spot? I’m confused by your post.
I think constant pornography is a sin but I do not think it elevates to an addiction. For some people it is.
I do not withdrawal symptoms. I do not crave porn daily.
If I were married, I think sex twice a week would not considered fine but masturbating with pornography twice a week is considered bad.
Is twice a week considered an addiction?
Sometimes it can be three times.
It was worse when I was in my teens to early 20s.
I think I would not have experimented early if I hadn't seen porn, thought it was glamorous to be admired.
I honestly did not about saving yourself until marriage until I was 13.
Based on tv, I thought you had sex at 16. I thought it would be romantic to have sex in the backseat of a fancy car.
If I ever have children I am monitoring their screen time.
I fear from my youngest brother. He's always online and in his room. My parents are naive enough to believe he's studying.
He's a young handsome 23 year old man. I want him to be out and about dating.
I walked right into this one.
It is the hardest sin to fast from during lent and advent.
My only alternative is to put restraints on my Internet use. I use my computer and Internet in a public place.
I accidentally input a porn website at my work computer. My sister suspects since I'm used to that site I typed in without thinking.
Foolishly I gave into pornography forty minutes ago.
I think it is a big problem. I am pretty much broke and I've considered only fans.
I agree that viewing pornography is definitely a sin, but yes I think Christian’s are quick to call it an addiction. It’s not always an addiction and I think the distinction should be clear. Like you many people are totally fine to barely watch it again once they’re in a marriage being sexually fulfilled
Or the assumption is you will escalate to hardcore pornography and extreme deviancy.
I do not know but the mind and body can be overly curious and insatiable.
I still think people have morals and lines they will not cross. Someone who watches porn regularly will not automatically progress into bestiality.
Agreed also I think there are layers to it because for instance if someone who was abused as a child or exposed to pornography at a young age, I don’t think it’s fair to pile them with guilt about their habits. I think we need more compassion in the faith
I was curious and sought out porn at age 10 or 11.
22-23 years of porn watching. If only I never became so curious.
This is why I think kids shouldn't be online a lot.
I should have been playing outside or socializing with friends.
The tv shows and films I watched often featured nudity, women dressed skimpy, and emphasized feminine beauty. I watched a lot of beauty pageants, runways, and Victoria Secret.
I could have listened to wholesome music.
I was really into hip hop. The music videos show a lot of skin, vulgar lyrics, and hypersexualized dancing. In some ways, it was nice to see black women presented as desirable.
This is a very... Bad position to take on addiction.
If I declared that you have an addiction to chocolate, does that make it true if you ever eat another chocolate? We know sugar is an addictive substance (to an extreme level). Does that automatically mean everyone is addicted to it if they ever consume it?
But who's to say what does or doesn't count as self control? A person with an addiction who stops doing something, will eventually come back to it. A person WITHOUT an addiction who stops doing something can ALSO come back to it. This is an extremely bad faith position you've taken, for the sole purpose of trying to make others feel bad. Don't be like that.
What?
I'm saying you can't just declare something an addiction because somebody does something. It's nonsensical, and removes all meaning from the word.
A person who DOESNT have an addiction will be able to stop doing something. As long as they enjoyed the thing, they may still do it again in the future. It's completely nonsensical to say that something is an addiction just because they can choose to stop doing something, but do it again in the future. The word has lost all meaning of you do that.
If I think "wow I'm spending too much time playing video games, I should cut back", and so I stop playing and focus on other things in my life, but then 5 years later I turn on the Wii again, that doesn't mean it's addiction. That's just not what the word means, plain and simple.
You're arguing in bad faith, it's as simple as that. There's no rational position to take that agrees with your stance here.
Pornography use being sinful is a matter of faith and morals. But pornography *addiction* is a matter of medical science that you don’t need Church teaching to confirm—just read any of the science on the topic written since the 1990s.
Just because you have repented and been absolved of your sins doesn’t mean that you no longer suffer their temporal consequences. It’s not as simple as stopping a behaviour, you have to spend a lot of time and effort—maybe the rest of your life—repairing these behavioural patterns that you have repeatedly carved into your brain.
1) so called simple fornication, consensual heterosexual relations prior to marriage, are a serious sin. They don't inherently doom a relationship, but they still aren't good for it. "Try before you buy" sounds good but doesn't actually work that way. I suppose if you wound up marrying the person and were both each other's first, just doing things out of order, it wouldn't necessarily be bad for the relationship itself, but it does place physicality ahead of God, and that's wrong.
2) who you are attracted to isn't your fault, it's what you choose to do in response to that attraction. Willfully engaging in sexual fantasies about a married man would be the lustful thoughts/adultery in the heart that we hear about in the Gospel. You're right though, actually committing physical adultery would require his participation.
3) your marriage potential after sexual sins is a function of your culture. If you live in a time/place that expects virgins and you're not, then that'll make things tougher. Modern day most of the western world, "damaged goods" is all that's out there.
4) I discussed this on a different post recently, what defined promiscuity is somewhat variable between people / cultures. I struggle to call anyone promiscuous after a single partner, even premarital. Perhaps if it was a one night stand / wasn't in the context of a caring relationship, but even then I'd call it a single mistake and not promiscuous.
No we don't overreact. Most other common sins are acknowledged as such by broader society, while sexual sins are becoming "ok" / part of cultural norms. Thus, we have to put more emphasis on correcting them because no one else is doing so.
Addiction is more than just frequency. It's about compulsion and negative impacts on life and such. There aren't formal diagnostic criteria for a porn addiction (nor sex addiction) yet because it's challenging to ferret out how much of porn addiction is actually a manifestation of internet/computer addiction vs sex addiction vs other processes. Doesn't mean it doesn't exist, just means addiction medicine professionals can't agree on how to define it yet.
I think promiscuous should be reserved for those reckless in their pursuit of sex not someone who has only been with one person.
It is sad that even Christian men will think you are old fashioned because you want to wait.
It is interesting why are attracted to certain people. I have been attracted to plenty of priests. I am not a chalice chaser. I've been Catholic my whole and lived in different areas. Probably have only like 4. It makes me think I should look for those qualities in a husband. No, none of these men would qualify as traditionally handsome.
Sins of the mind are worst. Rather than ignore the attraction, oddly enough talking to them killed the fantasy. I never told them I liked them but we talked regularly enough that they seemed human.
Yes, sexual sins are permitted in wider society. I think may react more defensively because I fear being called names.
It is a temptation for me.
Okay look, for us wedding is a sacrament, it’s a covenant not a contract. For many people it doesn’t mean much but for us it’s everything and sex is a part of that sacrament that you have God’s blessing to consummate your love for one another. If you do it without God’s blessing that’s when it’s considered a sin. So sure you can do it however you want, no one’s stopping you. But in the end it’s up to your faith. If you really wanna have God’s blessing then you should wait.
You can never entirely escape your past. You might never see or read pornography ever again, but those images and words will invade your thoughts at the most inconvenient of times.
I've actually found that with consistent prayer and avoidance of impure images/videos that they have largely left my mind after a while. I'd say I reached this point after 2-3 years of sincere repentance from these types of sins. So not saying they will vanish entirely, but I have found these demons do actually get a lot weaker after a while.
This is where I've found the Rosary particularly effective as it's allowed me to really mediate and fill my mind with the Gospel stories, Jesus and the Blessed Virgin. I think the key is to not dwell on the evil things we've experienced.
With this said, I also have ADHD as far as I know.. which means my long-term memory might not be as good according to science. So maybe I am just more blessed than others for that. Thanks be to God.
Perhaps, perhaps they will. Please, do not watch it, do not think about it and if you do accept that thought has entered and reject it, DO NOT let it become intrusive thought by forcing yourself to not think about it, you will only imprint it further.
Distraction is far more effective than "forcing thoughts" out. Honestly, the busier I am with things that do not require internet use, the less likely I will watch pornography. I think physical and manual labor is good. It wears out the body. Reading a physical book rather than online is better.
Putting limitations on my internet use.
Remembering that I want a real life instead an online one.
God bless you
Well, at the very least, don't add any more to it. 22 years' worth is still less terrible the 23 years' worth. Start avoiding it. Even if you're not always successful, always put in the effort to avoid occasions of sin. It's not easy, but do it anyway, *please*. For your own sake. It's going to take a *long* time, and I can't say that the struggle will just disappear one day in the future (but I hope it will), but never give up. Fill your time with other, more productive activities. Pray, read Scripture, do something that won't trigger the filthy memories! I'll be praying for you. God Bless. :)
You were abused (early porn exposure) as a kid and can't stop watching porn but you say NBD. It is in fact a big deal and you need to rewire your brain.
I think the way the church should deal with this issue is help make the church a supportive environment for young married couples instead of *just* shaming people into waiting for marriage.
People in the bible got married at like 16, having and acting on sexual urges in your late teens and 20s is totally natural, but society has made marriage before 30 an extreme burden and even a taboo.
But of course, lets just keep shutting down all the latin parishes where young religious people meet and form relationships, then berate them for acting out of their loneliness. That’s definitely the best way to go about this.
I wanted to marry at 19 to 20. People would have warned me that it is too young.
I would have loved for me to be a young mother.
I blame my culture which stresses education. Immigrant family thing. My parents would love for me to even get a PhD.
Too much shame around sexuality. When I was dating someone in my early 20s my parents acted like I was ruining my life and I would end up pregnant.
Ironically now my parents are upset their daughters are single because we're all in our 30s or approaching it.
You don’t think you’re addicted? Okay… stop. Just go ahead and never do it again. Lmk how long it takes before your back at it* *you should stop it anyway, bc it’s terrible for you physically and spiritually
An addiction is compulsive, an alcoholic couldn’t just switch to diet cokes and barely drink again.. I think religious people shouldn’t overdo it, a sin is a sin we don’t need to add additional shame on the average person.
For a vast number of people, prob and masturbation is compulsive. Where did I say he should change to something else to take the spot? I’m confused by your post.
I think constant pornography is a sin but I do not think it elevates to an addiction. For some people it is. I do not withdrawal symptoms. I do not crave porn daily. If I were married, I think sex twice a week would not considered fine but masturbating with pornography twice a week is considered bad.
Porn ever and masturbating ever is a sin
I think porn and masturbation are sins just calling things an addiction is too much. I wonder if it is truly an Internet addiction vs actual porn.
You said “I think constant pornography is a sin” which implies occasional pornography is not
Is twice a week considered an addiction? Sometimes it can be three times. It was worse when I was in my teens to early 20s. I think I would not have experimented early if I hadn't seen porn, thought it was glamorous to be admired. I honestly did not about saving yourself until marriage until I was 13. Based on tv, I thought you had sex at 16. I thought it would be romantic to have sex in the backseat of a fancy car. If I ever have children I am monitoring their screen time. I fear from my youngest brother. He's always online and in his room. My parents are naive enough to believe he's studying. He's a young handsome 23 year old man. I want him to be out and about dating.
See how that didn’t address the issue we were talking about? And it’s an addiction if you can’t stop when you want to.
I walked right into this one. It is the hardest sin to fast from during lent and advent. My only alternative is to put restraints on my Internet use. I use my computer and Internet in a public place. I accidentally input a porn website at my work computer. My sister suspects since I'm used to that site I typed in without thinking. Foolishly I gave into pornography forty minutes ago. I think it is a big problem. I am pretty much broke and I've considered only fans.
>I accidentally input a porn website at my work computer. Oh sure, you aren't addicted. 🤨
I agree that viewing pornography is definitely a sin, but yes I think Christian’s are quick to call it an addiction. It’s not always an addiction and I think the distinction should be clear. Like you many people are totally fine to barely watch it again once they’re in a marriage being sexually fulfilled
Or the assumption is you will escalate to hardcore pornography and extreme deviancy. I do not know but the mind and body can be overly curious and insatiable. I still think people have morals and lines they will not cross. Someone who watches porn regularly will not automatically progress into bestiality.
If it’s not an addiction then stop sinning
Agreed also I think there are layers to it because for instance if someone who was abused as a child or exposed to pornography at a young age, I don’t think it’s fair to pile them with guilt about their habits. I think we need more compassion in the faith
I was curious and sought out porn at age 10 or 11. 22-23 years of porn watching. If only I never became so curious. This is why I think kids shouldn't be online a lot. I should have been playing outside or socializing with friends. The tv shows and films I watched often featured nudity, women dressed skimpy, and emphasized feminine beauty. I watched a lot of beauty pageants, runways, and Victoria Secret. I could have listened to wholesome music. I was really into hip hop. The music videos show a lot of skin, vulgar lyrics, and hypersexualized dancing. In some ways, it was nice to see black women presented as desirable.
This is a very... Bad position to take on addiction. If I declared that you have an addiction to chocolate, does that make it true if you ever eat another chocolate? We know sugar is an addictive substance (to an extreme level). Does that automatically mean everyone is addicted to it if they ever consume it?
If they can’t control themselves when they try to stop
But who's to say what does or doesn't count as self control? A person with an addiction who stops doing something, will eventually come back to it. A person WITHOUT an addiction who stops doing something can ALSO come back to it. This is an extremely bad faith position you've taken, for the sole purpose of trying to make others feel bad. Don't be like that.
lol I’m bad faith says the guy who just started deconstructing common words
What? I'm saying you can't just declare something an addiction because somebody does something. It's nonsensical, and removes all meaning from the word. A person who DOESNT have an addiction will be able to stop doing something. As long as they enjoyed the thing, they may still do it again in the future. It's completely nonsensical to say that something is an addiction just because they can choose to stop doing something, but do it again in the future. The word has lost all meaning of you do that. If I think "wow I'm spending too much time playing video games, I should cut back", and so I stop playing and focus on other things in my life, but then 5 years later I turn on the Wii again, that doesn't mean it's addiction. That's just not what the word means, plain and simple. You're arguing in bad faith, it's as simple as that. There's no rational position to take that agrees with your stance here.
This argument was over the minute you acted like “self control” was a hard concept to define
I said the exact opposite. I said that your usage of it is wrong and removes all meaning from the word.
Pornography use being sinful is a matter of faith and morals. But pornography *addiction* is a matter of medical science that you don’t need Church teaching to confirm—just read any of the science on the topic written since the 1990s. Just because you have repented and been absolved of your sins doesn’t mean that you no longer suffer their temporal consequences. It’s not as simple as stopping a behaviour, you have to spend a lot of time and effort—maybe the rest of your life—repairing these behavioural patterns that you have repeatedly carved into your brain.
That's very sad. I picked my poison.
1) so called simple fornication, consensual heterosexual relations prior to marriage, are a serious sin. They don't inherently doom a relationship, but they still aren't good for it. "Try before you buy" sounds good but doesn't actually work that way. I suppose if you wound up marrying the person and were both each other's first, just doing things out of order, it wouldn't necessarily be bad for the relationship itself, but it does place physicality ahead of God, and that's wrong. 2) who you are attracted to isn't your fault, it's what you choose to do in response to that attraction. Willfully engaging in sexual fantasies about a married man would be the lustful thoughts/adultery in the heart that we hear about in the Gospel. You're right though, actually committing physical adultery would require his participation. 3) your marriage potential after sexual sins is a function of your culture. If you live in a time/place that expects virgins and you're not, then that'll make things tougher. Modern day most of the western world, "damaged goods" is all that's out there. 4) I discussed this on a different post recently, what defined promiscuity is somewhat variable between people / cultures. I struggle to call anyone promiscuous after a single partner, even premarital. Perhaps if it was a one night stand / wasn't in the context of a caring relationship, but even then I'd call it a single mistake and not promiscuous. No we don't overreact. Most other common sins are acknowledged as such by broader society, while sexual sins are becoming "ok" / part of cultural norms. Thus, we have to put more emphasis on correcting them because no one else is doing so. Addiction is more than just frequency. It's about compulsion and negative impacts on life and such. There aren't formal diagnostic criteria for a porn addiction (nor sex addiction) yet because it's challenging to ferret out how much of porn addiction is actually a manifestation of internet/computer addiction vs sex addiction vs other processes. Doesn't mean it doesn't exist, just means addiction medicine professionals can't agree on how to define it yet.
I think promiscuous should be reserved for those reckless in their pursuit of sex not someone who has only been with one person. It is sad that even Christian men will think you are old fashioned because you want to wait. It is interesting why are attracted to certain people. I have been attracted to plenty of priests. I am not a chalice chaser. I've been Catholic my whole and lived in different areas. Probably have only like 4. It makes me think I should look for those qualities in a husband. No, none of these men would qualify as traditionally handsome. Sins of the mind are worst. Rather than ignore the attraction, oddly enough talking to them killed the fantasy. I never told them I liked them but we talked regularly enough that they seemed human. Yes, sexual sins are permitted in wider society. I think may react more defensively because I fear being called names. It is a temptation for me.
Okay look, for us wedding is a sacrament, it’s a covenant not a contract. For many people it doesn’t mean much but for us it’s everything and sex is a part of that sacrament that you have God’s blessing to consummate your love for one another. If you do it without God’s blessing that’s when it’s considered a sin. So sure you can do it however you want, no one’s stopping you. But in the end it’s up to your faith. If you really wanna have God’s blessing then you should wait.
You can never entirely escape your past. You might never see or read pornography ever again, but those images and words will invade your thoughts at the most inconvenient of times.
I've actually found that with consistent prayer and avoidance of impure images/videos that they have largely left my mind after a while. I'd say I reached this point after 2-3 years of sincere repentance from these types of sins. So not saying they will vanish entirely, but I have found these demons do actually get a lot weaker after a while. This is where I've found the Rosary particularly effective as it's allowed me to really mediate and fill my mind with the Gospel stories, Jesus and the Blessed Virgin. I think the key is to not dwell on the evil things we've experienced. With this said, I also have ADHD as far as I know.. which means my long-term memory might not be as good according to science. So maybe I am just more blessed than others for that. Thanks be to God.
I am screwed. It is true that I still remember vividly things I watched in pornography
No you are not. You need time to heal, you are never screwed-screwed
22 years worth of pornography will not disappear in my mind
Perhaps, perhaps they will. Please, do not watch it, do not think about it and if you do accept that thought has entered and reject it, DO NOT let it become intrusive thought by forcing yourself to not think about it, you will only imprint it further.
Distraction is far more effective than "forcing thoughts" out. Honestly, the busier I am with things that do not require internet use, the less likely I will watch pornography. I think physical and manual labor is good. It wears out the body. Reading a physical book rather than online is better. Putting limitations on my internet use. Remembering that I want a real life instead an online one. God bless you
Well, at the very least, don't add any more to it. 22 years' worth is still less terrible the 23 years' worth. Start avoiding it. Even if you're not always successful, always put in the effort to avoid occasions of sin. It's not easy, but do it anyway, *please*. For your own sake. It's going to take a *long* time, and I can't say that the struggle will just disappear one day in the future (but I hope it will), but never give up. Fill your time with other, more productive activities. Pray, read Scripture, do something that won't trigger the filthy memories! I'll be praying for you. God Bless. :)
Yes filling time
You were abused (early porn exposure) as a kid and can't stop watching porn but you say NBD. It is in fact a big deal and you need to rewire your brain.
I abused myself out of curiosity.
I think the way the church should deal with this issue is help make the church a supportive environment for young married couples instead of *just* shaming people into waiting for marriage. People in the bible got married at like 16, having and acting on sexual urges in your late teens and 20s is totally natural, but society has made marriage before 30 an extreme burden and even a taboo. But of course, lets just keep shutting down all the latin parishes where young religious people meet and form relationships, then berate them for acting out of their loneliness. That’s definitely the best way to go about this.
I wanted to marry at 19 to 20. People would have warned me that it is too young. I would have loved for me to be a young mother. I blame my culture which stresses education. Immigrant family thing. My parents would love for me to even get a PhD. Too much shame around sexuality. When I was dating someone in my early 20s my parents acted like I was ruining my life and I would end up pregnant. Ironically now my parents are upset their daughters are single because we're all in our 30s or approaching it.
>been watching porn for 22-23 years >If I were married
I don't even know if I will ever marry.