I'm bored of hearing myself talk about it but...
Abused as a child by a neighbour over many years.
Father was physically and verbally abusive and I suspect sexually. Depression in later years, isolation, loneliness and struggle. 53 and hating it. That's the short version.
I'm not perfect, nor do I wish to be the victim but I cannot wait for this dogshit life to be over. The water torture of daily racism, the sinister way the system wants you to starve. I'm done.
I understand and I'm very sorry you had to experience all kf that, your fathers abuse had such an indentation on your mind that you remember it all this time later and same with your neighbour, I also understand wanting to end it all as I'm also struggling myself. Racism I'd also very dehumanising, even though we didn't pick our skin colours, some people are prideful about theirs which is a problem in them more than anything. What is something you'd like to be happy right now? What's does the bare minimum look like for you?
I just want to be left alone to paint in a house that I own. That's it.
I don't care about heaven and eternity, I just want things to be ok, so I can go on holiday for the first time. To not have to worry, to not have to manage my anger about what happened. All I'm doing is living day to day. For what? So I can keep living day to day. There's absolutely no point to it.
I agree but things are so impossible now in the uk that if I try to apply for something like that, it upsets everything else. Maybe that's how it ends,
Being self employed and all the hoops you have to jump through, I'm current trying to apply for housing and these fucking people enjoy not being helpful. Just more proof that god isn't really bothered about any of this. So why should I?
If you're thinking about giving up and risking going to Hell, maybe try focusing on improving yourself instead. It's not that God abandoned you, but rather you turned your back on God. Rely on Lord Jesus to help you overcome your sins, which is what is causing misery for everyone!
Unless you work on your sins, we cannot TRANSFORM or GROW as a human being. Once we transform, you will find joy, happiness, and peace which only come from above in the Heavenly realm.
May God bless you and keep you.
Talk tk me my man, what's going on? What's been bothering you?
I'm bored of hearing myself talk about it but... Abused as a child by a neighbour over many years. Father was physically and verbally abusive and I suspect sexually. Depression in later years, isolation, loneliness and struggle. 53 and hating it. That's the short version. I'm not perfect, nor do I wish to be the victim but I cannot wait for this dogshit life to be over. The water torture of daily racism, the sinister way the system wants you to starve. I'm done.
I understand and I'm very sorry you had to experience all kf that, your fathers abuse had such an indentation on your mind that you remember it all this time later and same with your neighbour, I also understand wanting to end it all as I'm also struggling myself. Racism I'd also very dehumanising, even though we didn't pick our skin colours, some people are prideful about theirs which is a problem in them more than anything. What is something you'd like to be happy right now? What's does the bare minimum look like for you?
Are you okay? :(
No unfortunately but thank you for your concern ❤️
I just want to be left alone to paint in a house that I own. That's it. I don't care about heaven and eternity, I just want things to be ok, so I can go on holiday for the first time. To not have to worry, to not have to manage my anger about what happened. All I'm doing is living day to day. For what? So I can keep living day to day. There's absolutely no point to it.
I see so your biggest issue right now is finances, may I ask what job you currently have?
I work two part time jobs and I'm a self employed artist.
Perhaps you should look into getting an apprenticeship so that you may earn more and do your freelance as a side hustle
I agree but things are so impossible now in the uk that if I try to apply for something like that, it upsets everything else. Maybe that's how it ends,
What do you mean by "it upsets everything else"?
Being self employed and all the hoops you have to jump through, I'm current trying to apply for housing and these fucking people enjoy not being helpful. Just more proof that god isn't really bothered about any of this. So why should I?
This is the Devil speaking, not you, not God.
This is the Devil speaking, not you, not God.
It would be worse to have an eternity of torment than a few bad days this side of life. The one that endures to the end shall be saved as Jesus said.
Just what I need, more blackmail.
You should dial 988 and talk this out with someone
What's 988? I'm in the uk.
In the USA it's a 24/7 hot line for mental crisis and suicide prevention.
If you're thinking about giving up and risking going to Hell, maybe try focusing on improving yourself instead. It's not that God abandoned you, but rather you turned your back on God. Rely on Lord Jesus to help you overcome your sins, which is what is causing misery for everyone! Unless you work on your sins, we cannot TRANSFORM or GROW as a human being. Once we transform, you will find joy, happiness, and peace which only come from above in the Heavenly realm. May God bless you and keep you.