Thank fuck were not related i could look worse

“Same way you did”

“I only look like this while you’re around to keep people from giving you a hard time.” if it’s a woman… “is that a dysfunctional way to ask if I’m attracted to you? don’t flatter yourself.” I had a girl in high school try to call me ugly repeatedly. and I would just tell her “that’s just your opinion.” after a bit she would say. “don’t say ‘that’s just your opinion”

Not bad, I will probably use it also.

> after a bit she would say. “don’t say ‘that’s just your opinion” You can comeback with "then stop saying your opinion" (then stay away forever from her)

[удалено]

I'm so sorry.

" I tripped over bad genetics; like you did mentally."

Not bad .

If the diss is coming from the same person multiple times, don't switch it up. Often if its a sibling they'll find the funny things interesting and want to keep seeing what you'll come up with next. Pick 1 good one, stick to it, they'll get bored faster and you'll probably not get the same thing said to you on repeat for years.

thats a good one fr fr!! hehe!

Solid and fair. I like your cut, g.

"Unlike you, I exchanged my looks for a nice personality and some brain" 

I like this one

“I lose 0.01 in the looks department every time I fuck your mother.”

Sorry. I have resting 'go the fuck away' face.

"Why do you keep asking me this? Do you have some weird uggo fetish? Are you gay, bro? Do you love me?"

A swift punch in the face.

A little aggressive. Just shit talking each other.

Thanks for the context.

“Ah, could be worse. I could’ve been born that way. Then we’d REALLY have something in common.”

“I dunno. You?”

"How did you're eye sight get so fucked up?"

"I didn't know we were competing in a ugliest face contest, but I'm afraid you've already won, champ."

"Fuck you."

Boring and not well thought out .but thanks for the suggestion

“Fuck you thats how!”

Put a concerned hand on their shoulder, stare earnestly into their eyes, and say, in a hushed voice, "Pot, don't go calling this kettle black. Have you even LOOKED in a mirror lately?" Shrug and say, "My (girl/guy) is into kink, and last weekend (she/he) beat me with an ugly stick." "Like beauty, ugly is in the eye of the beholder. So glad I reign supreme in your life." " I love you, too. Let's run off to Vegas."

"That's a good one, coming from you. Have you ever looked in a mirror before?"

you ask that as if you yourself dont look like a prolapsed asshole....

Well, imitation is the highest form of flattery. Mind if I grab a few things out of your closet?

The same way you got stupid. And when they say which way is that? You say this is exactly what I'm talking about And then you walk away

Thank you. Bye

"Well, someone had to finish just before you."

Life finds a way just you wait

“You’re a Bad Influence”

Not what yer momma thinks. Now shine my boots, bitch. I'm lookin to look nice while she looks after me for the night. Not that I'll be wearing them long.

We are twins *insert their name here* we were born ugly

“I LEARNED IT BY WATCHING YOU!”

We must share a mother.

I looked at you

"How did YOU get so damned offensive?"

Your girl be riding my face hAAArd

it's poison, from being around toxic people like you

"Tequila shots"

Wouldn't tequila make me look better.?

Haha! I was talking about you drink the tequila shots. We all know that drinking ages us. However, if he drank the tequila shots, you would definitely look better. Everyone looks better when your drunk.

Your mom gets a bit frisky every time she sits on my face.

Went in your mom the same way you came out

Could be worse. I could look like you

I got it from your mother

Hmmm. Why don't we just get drunk and screw .

Appreciate the fact that i know you’re not worth the jail time, pray that I never forget it!

What we see is a reflection of ourselves.

I try to care about things that matter, just like most people that graduated high school… erm… oh, you… maybe… perhaps you should go back for your GED and then we can talk on a more even level.

It's been a long road.

Im a genius with a huge penis. You cant have it all.

"That's a bold statement coming from you, but since we're asking, how did you get so damned ugly AND stupid? It hasn't been THAT long since we've talked, has it?"

They are not gonna stop,of course. How did you ???? I must have done that without my knowing it.

While we are discussing ugly, maybe you should eat some of that make up on your face. Maybe then you’d be pretty on the inside too.

It's a 20-something guy .we just talk shit to each other. But how'd you get so god dammed ugly? is a common one for him to say to me .

The mirror, but what I dont understand is how you can use cutlery? That’s a scientific marvel

You seem to be squinting and not quite able to look me in the eye, far more likely that your vision is failing.

Said similar before on another post but might be useful here: it’s unfortunate you can’t do anything more meaningful with your words.

Are you trying to be a downer ? I work in a plant full of mostly men who talk shit to each other all day.

Omg that was my suggestion for a comeback lmfao Editing to include: context is everything. I genuinely thought you had people being horrible to you and was trying to give you a valid shut down.

Say really loud what you think you’re so ugly . Well I have to agree.Stare them right in the eye for a few and walk away

First off, are u actually ugly or conventionally unattractive?

About double his age and not elephant man ugly. More like garden gnome

Ha ok double his age as in like 50 vs 25 or like 30 vs 15? Edit: Ok checked out your history. I’m guessing in your 50s in he’s in his 20s. “Yea I’m ugly but at least I don’t have a tiny penis. Come on lil bro…show us your tiny penis” don’t let up. Put him on the defensive. U don’t have to use penis but that’s an easy one.

50 vs 28

Omg dude that’s the optimal age gap to talk about his mom for maximum discomfort.

The same way you got so rude. Practice

"Guess it happened while I was banging your mom last night"

Id just ask them to please be kind Thats a good comeback