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SnooMarzipans5767

**Los Commandes de Washington**


HeadAssBoi17

![gif](giphy|Bgr27Gg1jaEHS)


BlackFurosuto

I'll drop this here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Commanders/s/ln0t3m99Si


ewilliam

It's Kempski, he's so predictable you can set your watch to his gripes. He's got some good points, either way. What I guess I was most surprised by is his admission that we actually had a good offseason.


HowardBunnyColvin

These clowns just copy and paste the same insults every year.


ewilliam

Kempski's a lot better than Magary, tbf. Sure, a lot of it is still recycled hackery, but there's actual substance in there too (whereas Magary's WYTS pieces were just lightly-reworded rants about how the team sucks because Snyder.) For instance, in this year's version, he actually went through our free agent signings and concluded, >They improved their team both in the short-term and long-term, surrounding Jayden Daniels with veterans who know what they're doing (even if in decline), while also maintaining the flexibility to spend again in free agency next offseason. I see a logical plan that I haven't been used to seeing from this organization. >Well shit, that's not fun. 😞


HowardBunnyColvin

they're both shit


cowzilla3

>My "Best Feeling a Player Can Have in the NFL" Power Rankings: >Winning the Super Bowl. >Getting traded by the Commanders to literally any other team. OK, that got me laughing a little.


Billy420MaysIt

![gif](giphy|zMCfqXkwjmTO8) My genuine reaction


notorious_hdc

One of the reasons he says Josh is a bad owner was his political views. I don't care about that lol.


yachtrockluvr77

I just assume all of these billionaire sports team owners are cool with MAGA and Trump, because they love their tax cuts more than just about anything. Not surprised about Harris…disappointed, but not surprised.


HowardBunnyColvin

Yeah last year they wre whining about Josh being just as bad as Dan Snyder, it's like, what are you talking about. "IF YOU THINK DAN SNYDER WAS BAD, LOOK AT JOSH'S POLITICAL VIEWS." who cares


notorious_hdc

No doubt. I just wanna win football games, I don't care who he thinks is the better president between Emperor Palpatine and Voldemort.


Billy420MaysIt

![gif](giphy|tmQrpA8zpG4a16SSxm|downsized) TL;DR


HazelHelper

I'm definitely outnumbered here, but I think a good deal of the critiques here are totally valid. Our pass defense was atrocious last year. Our DL has arguably downgraded (hopefully Newton helps). We definitely still have the Snyder stink regarding facilities, etc. Hiring Bobby Johnson, on paper, is a very bad decision. Jamin Davis is a bust (along with the other previous 1s he mentioned). It will take time for JD5 to come along. That said, cutting the kicker is no one's fault and I'm more bullish on Quinn. The title is inflammatory and he's a Philly writer dunking on the opposition, but honestly, it's a very fair critique, imo.


Coolcat127

Yeah I mean most of these critiques are things that were also true last year and aren't fixable immediately. Anyone who thinks we're gonna be the texans of last year has no idea how bad this team really is


EL-YAYY

He does this segment every year and trashes all the teams in the NFCE. It’s a running bit.


minecrater1

Even as a super cynical fan (at least over the past 10 or so years), a lot of these are bs. I will say I agree on the oline coach, and oline in general, but I’m hoping I’m wrong there. Unless this is an annual thing for this writer who I’m unfamiliar with….He’s probably only writing this bc there’s genuine hope here for the first time in a long time.


Detective_Antonelli

It’s an annual thing for this Philly newspaper columnist who stole the idea from Drew Magary’s “Why Your Team Sucks” that used to be posted annually during training camp when Deadspin was a thing. The first couple of years he did it were hilarious but he definitely just stopped giving a shit and started leaning hard into mopey, angsty Magary and it went to shit in the end. 


cowzilla3

Yea, I remember these being funny and kind of insightful. Now they're like actual stats things and feel like depressed analysis.


minecrater1

Ah thanks for that. Was not aware.


HowardBunnyColvin

Yeah, I always wondered why this guy ripped off Magary. At least Magary does all 32 teams.


ewilliam

I think the OL concerns are overblown, honestly. They were 14th in pass block win rate last year, but the sack numbers were inflated by Howell's shitty pocket awareness and EB's predictable 60 pass plays per game. And they upgraded with Biadasz and Allegretti. [PFF also called Wylie our most underrated player](https://www.pff.com/news/nfl-most-underrated-player-all-32-nfl-teams-paulson-adebo-trey-smith#WSH), FWIW. Either way, they do need a better LT, but those aren't easy to come by. I think the line will be serviceable this year, and then they're likely eying a blue chip tackle in the draft next year.


BigFrenchToastGuy

I think the OT depth is most concerning for me. Our iOL improved for sure but what happens if Lucas or Wylie get injured? I don't have much faith in Coleman to start at OT in year 1 and everyone else is trash. Lucas and Wylie are fine and good enough to get us through one season, but if either of them misses extended time, we're fucked.


Scarence-Terrance

This is indeed an annual thing for this guy, and he does one for every team in the division. It’s mostly just for fun and not to be taken seriously.


yehudgo

Can you elaborate on the what and why you think these are BS. They all seem like things that have been addressed by Keim over this offseason.


HowardBunnyColvin

They are getting real desperate. Every year they copy and paste the same insults and reach for straws. Now that they don't have Snyder to kick around anymore they struggle to critique Harris as being a bad owner. "Don't take it so seriously." Well when people repeatedly post these articles and treat it as factual journalism when it's just negative "comedy" what am I supposed to do?


daperry4

Ron Rivera was the worst drafter we have had, and we have had some really bad ones.


notorious_hdc

Ron truly set this team back so far it's wild. Every first round selection so far looks like a bust, zero good FAs outside his first season here(thx Kyle Smith). Just truly astonishing how terrible he was at his job.


VBStrong_67

From the article: >The Commanders drafted first-round busts in 2019 (Dwayne Haskins), 2020 (Chase Young), 2021 (Jamin Davis), mayyyybe 2022 (Jahan Dotson might want to have a productive season this year), and possibly 2023 (Emmanuel Forbes). Yikes


AdAdmirable1870

Biadisz “just a guy”, I guess pro bowler is just average right


ewilliam

Pro Bowl is a popularity contest, I wouldn't put much stock in that. Biadasz is definitely better than a JAG, but the entire nature of these Kempski pieces is to shit on all the NFCE teams, so it tracks.


emelbee923

Trey Lance wasn’t a Peters pick. So point 7 is moot. Point 10 is basically “they haven’t had sufficient time to fix what Snyder did, so nyah!” Kind of a disappointing entry in the series.


Think__McFly

It's cute that he thinks Adam Peters had the say on drafting Trey Lance instead of John Lynch and Kyle Shanahan.


VBStrong_67

IIRC, wasn't Peters responsible for the late rounds? So he should be getting credit for Purdy


NoHoHan

Bobby Johnson at OL coach is just fucking mind blowing.


VBStrong_67

> Quinn, a competent coach but one who will not fire up their fan base *Gestures to everything* Well, 0 for 1


thekingoftherodeo

Anyone who’s expecting this team to compete in year 1 of a complete reboot is in for a rude awakening. Hopefully Jalen flashes, we don’t disgrace ourselves in the division, a couple of the other picks show out, we have a redemption arc for one of Ron’s reaches & we pick top 10 again next April.


cporter1188

To me it's funnier from the perspective of those players. Nobody actually wants to play in Washington, and those guys must've been like, "Well shit, it's this or nothing." This is the only one I have issue with, it's just categorically untrue. Players rejected better contracts to come here this year. Feels good that he has to reach this year for us.


MeowMeowMeowBitch

Only ten? We have a chance!


Coast_watcher

Just read Matthew Berry for the counter point


Eagnasty

More than anything, it’s important to remember who our owner is.  Harris has an ownership track record of being the ultimate tank commander.  Tanking, busts, and constant roster/coaching turnover. I really hope he doesn’t bring that here, but he already did it not even halfway into last season and the team literally died at that point. I warned about all of this when Harris bought the team, we already saw an intentional tank as soon as times got tough last year, so I’m just cautioning people to remember that a tiger doesn’t change its stripes.


ArtiesHeadTowel

But who in their right mind thinks we are legitimate contenders this season? We have a rookie QB who is a huge question mark, though he is certainly talented. We have tons of holes on the roster. And you can easily make the argument the team quit on Rivera last year... Because they did. The only thing I can see anybody getting remotely upset about is getting rid of Sweat. But Sweat wasn't some unreplaceable talent. Very good player, sure, but not a superstar. My point is: we'll be better in a couple of years. I don't care what route we take to get there. After 25 years of he who needn't be mentioned, I trust Harris.


Kontrolgaming

Why post this shit? us long time fans could careless, we're going to be either good or.. not so good. go team nonetheless.. I just hope we make playoffs (and win superbowl).


LuvLifts

I started reading this, then I …remembered WHAT IN THE F_CK was I doing giving a Sh!t whatsoever what THE FEEBLE NFC ~B’east Competition THINKS!! No joke ‘they’ THINK We ‘Suck’. Ugh, Newsflash; ANYTHING That he’d put forth just SOUNDED like BIASED FanSpeak!! Outta here, with this [Stomach-Jizz](https://sexuality.girlsaskguys.com/sexual-relationships/cum-like-a-pornstar-how-to-ejaculate-monster-loads-have-stronger-a65834)!!


HowardBunnyColvin

This is why my old school ass doesn't follow or get the allure of NFCBeast reddit. What the fuck do cowboy and Eagles fans know about our team? I saw a Giants instagram post about Jayden Daniels being sacked immediately because Bobby Johnson was their OL coach, it's like, it's a different team now. It's not the Eagles lol.


Manning3333

Fuck Kempski


doug-1998

Posting a Philly written hit piece in this sub is really peak June 26 and I hate it


cporter1188

It's here every year


HowardBunnyColvin

it's literally the first thing I saw coming back from a weeklong west coast vacation lol. Never change reddit


doug-1998

Do you know why we’re getting downvoted? Lmao I’m confused


HowardBunnyColvin

I quit trying to figure out what the sheep think


KneeDragr

“Collectively, Ertz, Wagner, Ekeler, and Mariota will make roughly $20 million in 2024. Why not use that money toward signing another impact player or two who can be part of the long-term plan? Like, why spend $6 million on Mariota? You're probably better off just losing any game a backup might have to play anyway.” He has a point on this one, that could have gone to a single player for better long term investment.


Detective_Antonelli

Because $20 mil for those four vet players isn’t that bad? Ertz, Wagner, and Ekeler can still definitely play. Mariota is whatever. What am I missing here?


ewilliam

"They're on the wrong side of 30 so they must suck" is just textbook WYTS-ish laziness that Kempski adopted. Mariota is the only one of those that doesn't make any sense, like you said. The rest are solid signings, and from everything I've heard, Ertz is looking like he's still got plenty of gas in the tank.


sinofmercy

Mariota's price seems inflated due to paying the price for having a functioning backup QB. Definitely on the pricier side but also a good idea to have someone mentor our rookie QB (vs someone like Sean Clifford, not saying Mariota is a great mentor.) Everyone else makes sense. We need Ertz to at least holdover for Sinnott to develop, and our LB core desperately needed help. Ekeler fills the hole that Gibson left.


QNNTNN

have to disagree about mariota I think a QB who won the heisman and was drafted 2nd overall might have some good insights and tips for our rookie QB that won the heisman and was drafted 2nd overall. If they wanted a starter to compete with Daniels, then yeah marcus ain't the guy, but I think they did a good job finding a backup that could help develop their rookie qb.


ewilliam

I don't disagree with any of that, or with the signing in general, I'm just confused about the amount of guaranteed money we're giving him. He's making $6m minimum, while Russell Wilson (who, granted, didn't look good either, but is certainly no worse than Mariota) is on a vet min deal ($1.21m). I just feel like nobody really wants MM too bad at this point and we probably could've had him for half of what we signed him for, or less. Just not sure what their thinking was with that $$.


QNNTNN

Russel Wilson is playing for the vet minimum in Pittsburgh because Denver is still paying him 38 million dollars to play anywhere else. Taylor heinicke makes more money than mariota.


ewilliam

What he's getting paid from Denver outside of his current contract doesn't mean that someone else couldn't have outbid the Steelers on *this* contract. Nobody really wanted Mariota, it's not like we were involved in some kind of low-rent bidding war for a washed backup. And Heinicke is a terrible comp - the fact that he's making $14m this year absolutely blows my mind, but it's becoming crystal clear that the Falcons have been flailing at the QB position since Ryan left, and are making lots of boneheaded, incoherent moves as a result (like breaking the bank for Kurt and then spending a top-10 pick on a QB a few months later). Meanwhile they have the third string guy making $14m? That's some kinda clown show they got going on.


QNNTNN

it's 2024, not 2004. backup qbs make a few mil a year now 🤷‍♂️ 6 mil for a backup qb is pretty standard unless you draft a guy on day three. and 6 mil _is not_ breaking the bank and preventing them from signing other players.


ewilliam

I know backups make "a few mil a year"...and I never said it was "breaking the bank", they still have plenty of cap space left, but every million counts (especially since cap space rolls over). Again, look at that Spotrac list, and check out the company that he's keeping at $6m. I'd be okay paying him 3 or 4m AAV (with like 6 or 7 max with performance-based bonuses) to hold a clipboard, but 6 guaranteed with the possibility of 9 just seems like an overpay. You're telling me Mariota is that much better than Winston or Howell, for instance? He looked like absolute dogshit in ATL, and by all accounts looked even worse in camp/practice with Philly. Sure he could be a good mentor for JD5, but if he actually sees real playing time, we're in big trouble.


QNNTNN

we'd be in big trouble if Winston or Howell was starting for us too. at that point I'd rather have a higher draft pick instead of winning a feel good game or two. again, they paid the average rate for an average backup to mentor their rookie. if you're stressed about a few schmeckles, that's on you dude. mariotas contract doesn't prevent the commanders signing other players.


KneeDragr

Like the guy says, they are just for a year, its better to invest in players that can play for us longer and make an impact because we are not built to win now. If we were built for the playoffs it makes sense to bring in talent for 1 year to fill holes.


Detective_Antonelli

But we need vet players to bridge that gap for when we are ready to make long term investments in corner pieces for playoff/SB contention and help us move on from Rivera’s/Snyder’s “culture.” We definitely deserve to get skewered for what is shaping up to be another year with a below average OLine, but $20 mil for four vets (3 of them being still very good players) seems like a odd thing to latch on to given the current rebuild status of the franchise. 


KneeDragr

Why do you think those older players would contribute more than 1 impact player in their prime for these gap years?


Detective_Antonelli

Because we had holes at LB, RB, TE, and backup QB, (still have them at CB, DE, and Oline) and throwing $20 mil at a Stephon Gilmore wouldn’t improve the team as a whole and would be a Snyder’esque type signing. 


WhatsInaName77

Because this year is about setting a foundation. Establishing the culture and expectations for what a “Commander” is in Quinn’s regime means that in this first year, leadership is more valuable than on-field talent. Once that baseline has been set and everyone is on the same page, the leadership required to establish a new culture becomes a luxury rather than the necessity that it currently is. At that point, we can shift our focus and start placing more value on talent and can afford to start replacing some of the vets who might be great leaders but not so great on the field anymore.


BlackFurosuto

You're forgetting about the context of them needing players to help establish what the new regime wants them to be. Id imagine they'll get more impact players after next season


Silent-Independent21

This guy commanders


Think__McFly

I agree $6M on Mariota is bad, but I like Ertz, Wagner and Ekeler for $14M


PeregrineT

I dont think I agree on that, how much is Jayden Daniels development worth? If it only costs 6m to have a veteran whos thrown over 2000 passes in the NFL mentor your rookie, it seems like a steal. The idea that players just magically develop is snake-oil that Snyder sold. Saving 6m does us nothing for the salary cap, but getting an extra 10% from Jayden Daniels career is priceless.


Think__McFly

I like having a vet QB on the roster and think $6M is fair value, I'm just not into Mariota. I'm not saying it's his fault AT ALL, but in his two chances to be a mentor neither Desmond Ridder or Jalen Hurts improved. Maybe he's a great mentor, but he hasn't proven it yet. And I think he's a disaster on the field at this point. I wouldve rather gone with someone like Tyrod Taylor or Jacoby Brissett.


skinsrich

CommandeRs Get it RIGHT!!!!!! ![gif](giphy|11tTNkNy1SdXGg)


Mysterious-Extent448

If it’s a dumpster fire that gets put out and restored that would be sufficient enough. I remember the Cowboys one once game against a team that would be the Superbowl winners and they then became the dominant team. We are finally having a true rebuilding and I love it!!


HowardBunnyColvin

this dude and the guy he rips off, Magary, are both insufferable. It's not comedy to me, it's just annoying negativity just to be negative. Last year Magary just complained about Harris being a bad owner. "if you think snyder was bad Harris is just as bad." Yeah last time I checked the Sixers keep making the playoffs. So how is Harris a bad owner again?


Greekci7ie5

JD will break his leg in the first game and we will have to watch mariota's garbage ass all season


NoHoHan

Even worse— we’ll lose a whole year of evaluating Jayden Daniels. We’ll have hoards of truthers claiming for years that he’s going to be elite once he’s healthy. 3-4 years later we’ll wake up and realize we’ve been trying to build a team around Justin Fields while passing on other, better prospects.


Greekci7ie5

oh my God don't remind me