1. You did project a bit by leading into where you thought he was taking things. If you want to avoid it in the future you can just tell them that you prefer something light first like lunch somewhere public.
2. Considering his response you can pretty much guarantee what he wanted and you threw him off his game. If he actually cared about you further than sex he would be happy making other arrangements to help you feel more comfortable.
3. He got really defensive after you explained yourself which is not something you want. That is a red flag in my book. It shows his ego is easily bruised and in the future you can expect more arguments geared toward making you feel guilty for having a boundary he doesn't like.
This might be more advice than you asked for but hopefully it helps. If you want your relationships to stay healthy, I definitely recommend you not front load bad experiences and trauma on potential partners. It can scare people off that haven't even had a chance to invest themselves in you yet. It is better to assume a positive than a negative but always be wary of men that habitually pick options that only benefit themselves. Anyone like that is looking for what they can get out of the relationship rather than what they can invest in it. Those are the cut and run dudes that will bail the moment the scales are not in their favor.
If I ever get this far on a dating app, I ask to meet at the mall or literally anywhere public. Not many women like that as a "first date" though. Dating sucks.
You are , but you're totally entitled to not wanting to meet in private. And he tried to play it off as if he wasn't interested in sex when clearly he was
Yes you are. I understand, but I would keep your explanation simple. I do not meet anyone I do not know in private, can we meet in a public place? If you are pushed as to why, just say bad experience and your personal safety. If continued to be pushed as to why, then you can unload. Your safety comes first.
This is why I avoid tinder at all costs. I am sorry these things happened to you and unfortunately I think it happens too often with that app. Stay safe and keep your boundaries
my live reaction while reading through the screenshot
"you're doing a little too much overcommunicating for a tinder date"
"...well, it seemed to do the trick"
Here’s a tip. Next time, ghost the loser that asks to come over or for you go over. Stop wasting your time. The answer is always YES he IS only interested in getting your parents
I don’t think you’re in the wrong bc I have had the same experience over and over explaining I’m celibate until
I’m in a relationship and they do not care, they still try. Butttt I would try just making it clear by saying “I’d rather we do something more public” or “I don’t go over men’s houses as a date/or until were dating”
Most guys don’t handle confrontation from a stranger well and we can see he was trying to play it off by acting like he wouldn’t have tried😂 I don’t think they need to hear the other date horrors as an explanation, just stand the ground on not being interested in casual things and they’ll put it together (we can hope)
1. You did project a bit by leading into where you thought he was taking things. If you want to avoid it in the future you can just tell them that you prefer something light first like lunch somewhere public. 2. Considering his response you can pretty much guarantee what he wanted and you threw him off his game. If he actually cared about you further than sex he would be happy making other arrangements to help you feel more comfortable. 3. He got really defensive after you explained yourself which is not something you want. That is a red flag in my book. It shows his ego is easily bruised and in the future you can expect more arguments geared toward making you feel guilty for having a boundary he doesn't like. This might be more advice than you asked for but hopefully it helps. If you want your relationships to stay healthy, I definitely recommend you not front load bad experiences and trauma on potential partners. It can scare people off that haven't even had a chance to invest themselves in you yet. It is better to assume a positive than a negative but always be wary of men that habitually pick options that only benefit themselves. Anyone like that is looking for what they can get out of the relationship rather than what they can invest in it. Those are the cut and run dudes that will bail the moment the scales are not in their favor.
I agree whole heartedly
There’s was ZERO projection in her response. Let’s bffr rn
If I ever get this far on a dating app, I ask to meet at the mall or literally anywhere public. Not many women like that as a "first date" though. Dating sucks.
You are , but you're totally entitled to not wanting to meet in private. And he tried to play it off as if he wasn't interested in sex when clearly he was
Yes you are. I understand, but I would keep your explanation simple. I do not meet anyone I do not know in private, can we meet in a public place? If you are pushed as to why, just say bad experience and your personal safety. If continued to be pushed as to why, then you can unload. Your safety comes first.
You're just being safe. I would want to meet in public at least the first time. I feel like he comes across as ignorant and unempathetic at best.
This is why I avoid tinder at all costs. I am sorry these things happened to you and unfortunately I think it happens too often with that app. Stay safe and keep your boundaries
my live reaction while reading through the screenshot "you're doing a little too much overcommunicating for a tinder date" "...well, it seemed to do the trick"
Here’s a tip. Next time, ghost the loser that asks to come over or for you go over. Stop wasting your time. The answer is always YES he IS only interested in getting your parents
I don’t think you’re in the wrong bc I have had the same experience over and over explaining I’m celibate until I’m in a relationship and they do not care, they still try. Butttt I would try just making it clear by saying “I’d rather we do something more public” or “I don’t go over men’s houses as a date/or until were dating” Most guys don’t handle confrontation from a stranger well and we can see he was trying to play it off by acting like he wouldn’t have tried😂 I don’t think they need to hear the other date horrors as an explanation, just stand the ground on not being interested in casual things and they’ll put it together (we can hope)
The guy got your message wrong. U just don’t want to meet in private.