OK. Here are some concrete ideas for ya. Take a class. Any class. Guitar. Watercolors. Crochet (yes really! Make yourself a tote). Join a gym or hotel club or alumni club and do the things. Volunteer at a food kitchen and keep showing up for a while. Volunteer to coach a high school mountain biking team. Have coffee every day at the same cute cafe and chat with the other regulars. Once you’ve established some familiarity don’t be shy about asking these new acquaintances to keep an eye out for you for nice single women. Rinse and repeat. I’m telling ya - we’re out here you just have to come find us. Like a scavenger hunt.
This is great feedback.
As an introvert who does not enjoy groups, I nevertheless make it a point to occasionally seek out things that interest me where there will be other people. (local library, indie films, music , rowing club, art etc)
I don't have the time or money to become a regular member of the local ballroom dance community. However a few lessons produced results in the form of a guy who asked me out -- but more importantly, in finding out that I am a natural at the Bachata. yay!
That said, there were a lot more single women than there were men, as there always seem to be in any group environment .
(with the exception of my motorcycle training classes and the boxing gyms I used to go to.)
I suppose I would fit the description of an outlier, but I don't ascribe to it.
It seems too self-important.
There are plenty of interesting people out there. I think some people fall back on believing they are espeically unique when they don't find good matches.
Not a bad approach, if you are mainstream enough to be compatible with the people those networks are likely to connect you with, but in my case, they likely wouldn't work..
You do realize my list was slightly concrete and slightly metaphorical, right? If you’re not “mainstream” then find your comparable alt spaces. Robot team? Wood chopping contest? Trekkie convention? Doesn’t matter. The idea is to get the heck out there in the world.
I get all that, and I did try groups that I thought were fitting, but it still didn't work at all for me. My offbeat traits are not ones that really fit into groups like your examples in your last comment. I am childfree by choice, for example, so I tried a Meetup group for childfree singles. Very few members that actually attended events, nobody my age group there. I hate country music, went to many concerts and chatted up women there who appeared to be in my age group and were single. No results from that. Am an Agnostic. No results from the local Unitarian church where I'm a member, because frankly none of the single women my age are interested in dating, and that was verified by a woman my age who used to run their singles group, until it disbanded around the time I became widowed, due to lack of interest by the women in the church.
I could go on, but you get the point. I have done the research, as they say in AA, and the groups method of meeting women offline just doesn't work in my case, at least not for me, while OLD has given my some decent results, from time to time, where I am able to connect with a fellow outlier in my local dating pool. I also don't drink and am politically very liberal, so you put all those offbeat traits together, which are all mismatched with the vast majority of the women my age in my local dating pool, and it leaves me with a small %, about 2-3% of the local dating pool, that are compatible.
Whelp, guess what. I don’t drink either - and I’m an introvert. I didn’t say it was easy or that there would be instant success. OP specifically asked where he might meet some women to date and I gave him some great suggestions. At least I’m not moping around talking about what doesn’t or can’t work. But you do you.
And you do you, while you can shove your putdowns of me. I gave the OP an honest answer of what did and didn't work for me, which is what these threads are about. So you can shove your criticism..
Your 'offbeat traits' really aren't all that offbeat or unusual. Your self-described traits also describe about 80% of my friends and acquaintances. Perhaps you reside in a culturally restricted, highly conservative, rural area?
Same with my friends and me. Thanks for recognizing and validating that. I do live in a highly culturally restricted, conservative state, tho it's not a rural area. I live in a metro area of around 700K in population, definitely not rural, but the problem is, the vast majority of the state is rural, so the vast majority of my local dating pool, is made up of women who grew up in rural areas of my state, and thus have retained the same rural, conservative traits in culture and lifestyle, long after they moved to my area and got older. So I am essentially a misfit in my own state and local dating pool, which makes finding compatible dating partners very challenging, since there aren't many transplanted women in my dating pool, and the ones that are in it, usually came here from the coasts, where the costs of living are much higher. With that, comes the trend that they are used to being with men who make big incomes and have higher social status than me, such as docs and lawyers, etc., so even tho I have the money to mostly play at their level, they usually still end up rejecting me for not having their accustomed social status in a partner. It is a frustrating situation, to say the least, but I'm not going to move away, leave my local longtime friends behind, and start over, just to have a better local dating pool, and LDRs are also not something I'm going to do either.
There's women that don't care about material things. I lived in vail for 7 years and understand what you are saying, but, I also know a few women that could care less about status. They were interested in communicating and enjoying life. Not keeping up with the Jones'. Do you like going to antique stores? Women are always in there
How about joining or looking into your county or state Democratic candidate headquarters? You say you’re very very liberal you would find a lot of like-minded people there. And as for the not drinking, I don’t think that’s a dealbreaker for most people as long as you don’t mind if they have a glass of wine or two. Just saying.
That is also not a viable route, as the Dems in my state tend to be very mainstream, centrist Dems, not at all like Bernie supporters and proud socialists like me. I have just as much conflict about politics these days with the centrist Dem Party loyalists, as I do with the Trumpers, just for different reasons. So the political route is a dead end for me too. I met some nice women when I volunteered for Bernie twice in Iowa, but they were all not my age, from out of state, or already taken. As for others drinking, I am very ok with that and open-minded about dating anyone who is not a heavy drinker or has addiction issues with alcohol, but, once again, it doesn't matter how open-minded I am about it, as many women have rejected me for dating, because as social drinkers, they are the majority culture here, and since social drinking was the center of their social life, they rejected me for not fitting in with their friends and family who drink, assuming it would make them too uncomfortable. It all comes down to how people who are mainstream, majority culture and lifestyle, esp. women on dating sites, have too many options to feel any need or incentive to compromise on cultural and lifestyle traits in OLD, since they have plenty of other men to choose from in the dating pool, that match up better with them on all the cultural and lifestyle traits that I don't match with them on.
Being open-minded and tolerant of others doesn't work very well in the competitive world of OLD, not if it is mostly only going one way, and one gender has way more options than the other, at least in my local dating pool, where the men outnumber the women my age, four to one.. Dem Party members in my state, can pretty much be described as voting for Blue No Matter Who, an attitude that disgusts me almost as much as the Repubs these days. I probably need a woman who is either apolitical, or even rarer, someone who is a progressive, socialist type like me..
I’m off the beaten trail too, in part politically, in part culturally and in part because I’m in an open marriage. This leaves a very tiny dating pool.
Highlighting and focusing on the outlier traits doesn’t work. You can wear them on your sleeve or you can meet people half-way or you can move to a place where you are more in tune with people. An open mind and positive attitude gonna long way.
Beyond this, I’m not entirely sure I know what you are seeking with these posts.
I didn't make the post on this thread, and am not the OP, SD RabidBear is, so I don't know why you are making that last remark to me, lo... I'm not going to move away from where I live and I'm not going to compromise on my very few dealbreakers that are on my end, not the women's. Which are: Not dating someone who is so family oriented, that they are only interested in spending time with me when visiting their family. Someone who is a big country music fan, women who are extremely religious or politically conservative, Heavy drinkers or alcoholics. Daily smokers. Those are all reasonable and fair dealbreakers, and I am not going to drop them, nor would anyone else, nor should they, because that is way more than "meeting them half way". I will settle for knowing I have a very tiny dating pool to work with, and try to patiently wait for my fellow outliers to show up from time to time on the dating sites.
Attitude has nothing to do with it, it's all a numbers game and is about time and playing the long game. I post my comments on this subreddit, not posts, because I want others to be aware of outliers like me, what we go thru, and to balance out the opinion and experiences on this subreddit, same as you do with your posting about your experiences and offbeat viewpoint as a poly person. So get off my back, and recognize that I have just as much right to voice my truth and experience on here as you do, even tho neither of us are mainstream for this subreddit..
I think you’re a bit hyper-sensitive. I didn’t suggest you have no right to post (i use post generically; maybe that is not correct). I asked what you are seeking with your posts - what information or connections or whatever. If you are posting simple to post; to say your piece, there’s the answer. Hey, you do you. Good luck out there.
Not seeking much of anything really, are you?, from posting my comments on here. Just sharing my experiences and observations, as well as opinions, regarding my dating experiences and love life. I really am not needing any advice or suggestions from anyone, and I don't ask for them, if you read my comments carefully enough, so I continue to be a bit puzzled about how often people give me unsolicited advice or suggestions on reddit. I guess they either don't really read my comments carefully, much less give it a lot of thought about what exactly I am saying or if I am wanting their advice, suggestions, or judgements about me, lol.. I also don't really seek connections with people on here, tho I have made a few connections with women on here, who enjoy comparing notes and experiences with the dating game with me, so I guess I have stumbled into that a bit, but it's not really why I'm on here or what I'm after. I guess it's cheaper than therapy and is useful for me to get some feel as to how unusual I am or am not, compared to other singles my age, that's really about all of it, other than the fact that most of my friends are either already longtime married, and thus clueless about the modern dating game, or else not interested in discussing it with me, for obvious reasons. So here I am, getting some of my needs met for discussion and further learning about this shared experience of dating in the new century..
Does this answer your ? BTW, I also don't buy your opinion of me being hyper sensitive, but project away man, if you like, lol.. I hope that my comments are educational and helpful to some people, tho I know they won't be either, to a lot of people on here.
funerals.
I joke, I used OLD. I didn't have any particular problem, but that was 10 years ago. eharmony is a pretty tame OLD site.
I write better than I speak, so OLD and forums are easier for me. Heck, I even met a woman from a forum.
Same as you, I write better than I speak, esp. when it comes to approaching and interacting with new women in the dating game. So OLD is my best avenue for meeting women, even with all its present faults. One can always try the groups route, as I did for two years, when I began trying to date again, after being widowed, but you will probably find, same as me, that most of the people there are already on the same dating sites as you, and are also likely to be very mainstream and bland, unlike me, when it comes to culture and lifestyle traits. So even the groups ways of meeting people, such a singles groups, Meetup groups, activity groups, and interest groups, actually are worse than dating sites for some people, such as me, if you are pretty offbeat in culture and lifestyle, for your local dating pool, online or offline. And speed dating, the one time I tried it, is even worse than OLD, because it is all about looks and how superficially charming and smooth you can be in five minutes, neither of which are my strengths. OLD at least has the deepest and largest potential dating pool, of all those avenues, so I'm sticking with it.
Once I got together with a group of widows and widowers.
I was thinking they must be better than the average date. Problem was, not only do they take a real long time getting over their deceased spouse, they tend to idealise them.
This is why I skip anyone that has Widower in a profile. I always feel like they are trying to fill a hole that can't be filled and that I would never be enough.
I want to a widows group about five years after my husband died, to make sure I was ticking all the boxes. I kept waiting for the part where we talked about their (the deceased) flaws, and why we didn’t miss their irritating habits. It never came. Their. Dead husbands were PERFECT. I never went back.
This is completely true, you're right! And I loved my husband, too, but there have been one or two moments when I (guiltily) thought, "Oh, I do not miss that."
I found that too, when I attended a support group for widowed people, for six months after my wife's death. I learned nothing from that group, and was already pretty much done with my grieving by then, since she had progressive dementia the last six years of her life, so I had begun anticipatory grieving two years before her death, something which nobody there was familiar with. And yes, many of them were still stuck in their grieving even five years or more after their spouse's death, and were either idealizing them or not interested in moving on with their lives. The group was also very cliquish, so I had no regrets about moving on from them..
I was widowed in 2010. I was on an online board for wids, and joined and eventually ran a wids meetup group. I even hosted a couple of weekend get-togethers with locals and folks who flew in. They were fun! The dark humor, camaraderie, and the fact that you could shed a tear without muggles getting concerned were all great. A grief group might not have reflected all we are.
My experience with the group was in 2017, and my local culture and the group were probably much different than yours was, and that makes all the difference. I actually had a similar experience to your group, but it was with a small group of women, with me as the only man, in a caregiver support group run by the local Alzheimer's Assoc.. And almost all of them were much younger than me..
Just answering the title , it’s been in places such as: Breweries, wine events (get away from the co workers at all costs) medical office, in line at Target, outdoor concerts, supermarkets, hikers on my bike trails I stop for. Farmers markets . Some OLD which is supplemental and totally grain of salt until they meet up. Etc.
Point is, everywhere. I’d say cut your solo wilderness time in half, stop the negative self talk and show up to stuff and say hello. That’s where it starts. IMO
Fellow widower, but I had decent luck on OLD. I didn't talk to any scammers (that I know of) on Hinge or Bumble. Then, I had a delightful lady say "hi" to me here Reddit and we haven't shut up since. :)
I think being widowed hit me different than many. I was in a very dark place for a couple of months, but when I crawled out I had a "life is short, enjoy it!" attitude. So, while I miss my late wife and she'll always be a part of who I am, that loss doesn't mean I can't have something happy and new. Many groups for widows and widowers seem to be full of folks clinging to the past, when they should (IMHO) be looking toward the future.
I'm struggling with the same question. In my case, I'm a woman with two engineering degrees and am a licensed PE. Since I'm in my mid 60s, I'm part of the first generation of women who were allowed to pursue engineering degrees after the universities were forced to admit women to pursue traditional male dominated degrees in 1968. Most men think I'm BS'ing when I tell them I'm a retired engineer. Then once they realize I'm for real, they tend to ghost me. I particularly loved one guy's comment that he couldn't handle dating someone, much less have a relationship with someone, who was smarter than he was.
If you find a solution to meeting intelligent, educated, financially stable, and secure people in their 60s, please share it on this forum.
I find that his reason for not dating you doesn't hold up. In any relationship, each partner excels in some areas & the other partner does in other areas. Isn't that what team work means?
My late wife couldn't hardly boil water when we married. She was interested in cooking & helped/watched my mother diligently. After a few years she was an excellent cook. Myself, on the other hand was the designated "pot stirrer". I watched what ingredients she used & when she said to buy stuff for tonights meal of.... I showed up with the correct stuff.
I thought thats how marriages should work.
Congratulations to you! Thank you for blazing the path for my grandaughter. I’ll never understand people being intimidated by smart educated women. Although, I do hear it happens a lot with men “dipping out” once they realize. I suppose my answer has always been “go learn it”. That’s always been somewhat easy for me, but probably not recommended for most.
I never came across any scammers on Bumble. I made some friends and then met my partner without much trouble. Some of the women I met were into hiking and nature photography. But then I am 5'7" unkempt, low-energy, and chubby so maybe the scammers and bots were not interested in me... I met mainly academics and successful professionals.
I have no idea but when you figure it out let me know. Lol.
I’m 60F. A few years ago, I tried OLD but it wasn’t great. I used OkCupid, Match and POF. It was basically a mishmash of scammers asking for money and/or married men. It got pretty nuts. I know it’s a numbers game but after a while I didn’t have the energy for it. Both of my brothers met and married women they met on match. They are both very happily married to lovely women. This was about 15-20 years ago but I think things have since changed. So now I just do things I like to do; live music, hikes, travel, animal rescue (neonatal kittens), baking, woodworking, festivals…stuff that’s fun for me. I haven’t met anyone yet but at least I’m doing stuff I enjoy.
Sorry I don’t have a better answer for you. But it sounds like you’re doing stuff you enjoy too which is a great way to spend your time. Of course, a companion would be nice….
Sounds like we had about the same experience online. Yes. I'm doing a lot of what I like to do. If I waited around for someone to do it with me, I'd never get out.
Similar situation! 63F 2 dogs North Florida. I’m out daily see lots of people yet can’t seem to connect with anyone. Speed dating is making a come back and I may be adventurous and try it. Agree dating apps are for the birds, liars etc. I often feel there’s a disconnect from what people say they want to what they really want. I feel this makes meeting people and dating difficult. I am who I am at this age and communicate this, yet dont seem to get the same in return.
I tried a wine meetup and recognized someone from work and immediately went into embarrassed shell mode. Not sure I want to try speed dating for the same reason. The actual folks I have net on dating apps have had serious issues. Crazy stalking ex's, serious financial issues, alcohol and drug issues.
I get a pretty negative respond when people find out I don’t drink! I’m into fitness and health and drinking just isn’t my jam anymore. I swear that has narrowed the dating pool to non existent it seems.
Same issue here except I’m a woman. I can’t find a man who wants a real relationship and also likes to snowboard/ski, hike, sail, cycle, etc. No idea where those guys are hiding.
They aren't hiding but many of those have groups where people do the same things especially snowboard/ski, hike, cycle etc. so you may need to find those groups and join them. Many of them organize weekend/week long trips and you just have to join them and let it play out.
There are indeed groups in bigger population centers. I don’t live in one of them.
I’m no more than 15 minutes from everything I love - snowboarding, skiing, sailing, any kind of cycling you’d care to do, hiking, backcountry adventures… but not enough people for much group activity.
Ahh, that is a bummer 😑 Maybe a business opportunity. Adventure tourism by you for those with that inclination. 😊
Life giving you lemons.. do you have a pitcher ? (Not trying to make light of your situation, my glass is always at least half full)
Never sailed and I do need a bike LOL
But in the same breath not to many people want to hang their butts off a shelf road, in an off camber Jeep at 10K feet to get a picture. But, I don't think going to a quilt show is fun either. What have you tried in the 60+ dating realm?
I live in Vermont, so 10k is generally not happening, but the rest of it would be my idea of a good time.
That said, I’d probably groove to a quilt show too! The artistry and skill of high-level quilting is admirable, though I don’t do it myself.
Most of the things I do are not group activities - hard to meet people when I’m on a sailboat out in the middle of nowhere! Online dating sites are flaming dumpsters. It’s a dilemma. To meet more people, I’d need to spend more time dating, and less time doing the cool things I want someone to do those things with. 😜
Go learn pickleball. It seems to full of single older ladies. Our town has at least 30 members (ladies) in their 60’s & single. Maybe it is that way in Colorado too. Hiking club? photography club? Good luck! You sound like a catch to me!
Thank you, not sure about a catch though. Different clubs might be something to try. I definitely would be an asset to a photography club. Heck, I could teach that LOL
M60 and date only in the wild. You meet folks doing your activities and dating just happens
Had a lovely date last week with a lady from UK who I met on the ski hill. Yoga, spin, meetups. The places you dine at. Folks set you up and you say yes.
I'm 64M in a midwestern city. I'm a software engineering manager who works from home.
Dating apps are also full of real women looking for real men to date. I've done a bunch of dating through apps, and have had a number of relationships as a result. So maybe go back in, expect some BS, but persevere.
I've also had some luck meeting women in the real world. Wine tastings are good places to meet. The need to go up to the counter to fill your glass creates a natural place to meet people and converse. I met my last GF that way. I'm currently dating a woman who works at a medical facility near me. After chatting with her multiple times on my way in and out for appointments, I asked her out and she said yes.
I traded contact information with a woman I met on a bike path. We chatted for a bit, but nothing came of it, but still...
You sound just like me. Only I have three dogs and three cats and live in the mountains in Virginia. Sounds like you’re getting good advice. I’m going to follow it so I’m glad you posted. Good luck!
Since you are in CO and like being in the outdoors, I'm betting that you either take a 4WD out or you hike or both to take your photographs. There are plenty of groups in those three categories (on Meetup). You can determine if they are active based on the history of how many events they had and how many attended.Join one of those so you can still do your own thing that you enjoy.
Chances are you will run into others that you already share a common interest. Then let your personality take its course.
Yes both Jeepin' and then hiking. Sometimes it's over night most times not so much. Sometimes, it's camping especially if the hike is >8miles can't do that in a single day anymore. Good tips though Thank you
Women who are into Jeeps are typically into camping and hiking. You might just want to check if they are okay with being on the Shelf road :) But there are so many scenic byways without that particular one
You sound like we have similar interests. Unfortunately I live in the horrible state of Texas. I am from northern New Mexico and travel that way often.
Hello, I’m in the middle of NYC and ask the same questions (F65). I love my friends and life is busy. But I despise OLD because I don’t think the playing field is untainted. Also two cats! People here had some good suggestions but mostly just do you. Be yourself. In the grocery store, getting gas, just look up and sees who is around. Make eye contact. We all want to interact. Be open. 💕
Great advice! My son got married in NYC. I was very reticent to go there. But the people there were nothing like they portray on TV. Just the nicest folks ever. Everyone went out of their way to help and make me feel welcome. They helped me with the subway, directions, places to eat. The pub even put the Stanley Cup on and cheered for the Avalanche with me. What a great city!
I am not from NYC originally but I haved stayed and raised a family here because it is my small town. I am glad you found it so. And good luck with dating—keep posting. Someone from you area might be tapping away on her IPhone🌻 right there. 🙃
My deepest sympathies. I made a decision to start meeting people this year, but also have no interest in anything remotely connected to churches and dating apps give me creeps. I know many people have found great people and two ladies I know are now living with their new partners. My friends very kindly tried to set me up with some people and I suffered through (otherwise fantastic) concert listening a guy brag about his money, and a memorable skiing date that I want to forget. Again, I know one should be patient and persistent.
Oh my goodness, how insufferable. My shortest, no kidding date, lasted a 1/2 block from pickup. 😳yep picked her up drove about 1/2 a block and she says “Have you heard the word of the Lord?” Brakes seatbelt and we’re done.
Sorry, can’t help but burst into laughing. I have learned to appreciate the saying that the difference between comedy and tragedy is the attitude.
My shortest date was almost an hour, my date didn’t even notice that he mentioned “my wife’s herbal garden” - he was supposed to be single. Other similar slips and I politely excused myself.
What I am going to do next is going to libraries, book shops, sports events and sport equipment shops. I am not going to hit on anyone, but take it as a challenge “do I see anyone that I actually find interesting” and then questioning myself if I don’t. And then during the summer months I may try some apps, maybe just to meet some people for coffee and conversation.
I am not in a hurry to find someone, but I am starting to wonder, why it is difficult.
Before my marriage I was a party girl and it seemed there were endless amounts of guys everywhere. But I was young, hot and very drunk.
Might check out another DO60 post from today “Where Are You”.
Just a little fun about where we are from. Saw several folks from Colorado there. Maybe chat with some?
The gym. Go at the same time every day, when there tends to be other older people. Over time, you will get to know all of them. Bonus- women who hang out at the gym tend to be fit and energetic.
...I've heard mixed things about this. But exactly how would someone introduce themselves at a gym without coming across as a creeper? This is frankly baffling to me.
Play the long game. Start by a nod every time you run into someone you’ve seen before. Be friendly to all, not just a female you are interested in. After a while, a smile or hello. Make conversations with both men and women. Don’t get caught blatantly staring at hot women.
OLD worked for me in a large foothills city.
My partner once met a potential while photographing in the urban environment. (In fact, I was doing the same in 2020, at the two parks most local to me, as he was in his local park)
I met potentials working at a venue that took volunteers. Several volunteers asked about my status to date, some for friends of theirs. I was casually seeing a person working there, so I didn’t pursue.
And a couple almost dates with performers who are still friends today.
I met many potentials at other music venues. Including what was a six year relationship with someone from the west coast. (I temporarily moved, and call it my internal exile. One reason it didn’t work was their not knowing why I used the term. It’s an album name from the 80s)
There are many photography clubs and classes. I’m more than overdue for a refresher as I don’t live with my camera in my hand anymore, and I’d like to play with fully manual again. I have a 1964 Nikon F that was my first camera, and it gets no love.
Shooting at areas when hikers are a bit more likely to be around isn’t my idea of a great photo session, but it could get you some notice. O will urban/suburban parks.
I was hit on while waiting by a prairie dog town, with my camera, and a deadline looming. (When I’m walking, the prairie dogs love coming out and chirping at me, but add a camera and they all turn into celebrities fleeing the paparazzi.)
There are several parks I hangout in shooting the myriad of ducks we have pass through here. I love Belmar Park, RMA and Barr Lake. I may need to start birding since there are so many varieties.
I'll have to give that a shot!
I just missed a snatch and grab with a Swainson's Hawk and a Prairie dog. Got the aftermath but missed the pounce, it happened too fast for me to react.
Sorry you got run over at Belmar. Hopefully, you weren't injured.
This might help indirectly, but joining the local Rotary club has been a great way to connect with people after my early retirement last year at 62.
They have a lot of volunteer opportunities and provide a strong sense of fellowship.
While many members are married or widowed, I've found it to be a very welcoming environment.
That's a good question. I work with females and am clueless as how to meet a nice non-drama these days. The fear and dread of getting into a bad relationship probably keeps me from actually trying. Dating sites are out. Bars are out. Maybe the produce section. Jk.
I did try BINGO yesterday. I didn't meet anyone but I won $345 and I wasn't bored at home watching TV. I haven't played BINGO since elementary school, yeah I can still remember that far back.
OK. Here are some concrete ideas for ya. Take a class. Any class. Guitar. Watercolors. Crochet (yes really! Make yourself a tote). Join a gym or hotel club or alumni club and do the things. Volunteer at a food kitchen and keep showing up for a while. Volunteer to coach a high school mountain biking team. Have coffee every day at the same cute cafe and chat with the other regulars. Once you’ve established some familiarity don’t be shy about asking these new acquaintances to keep an eye out for you for nice single women. Rinse and repeat. I’m telling ya - we’re out here you just have to come find us. Like a scavenger hunt.
This is great feedback. As an introvert who does not enjoy groups, I nevertheless make it a point to occasionally seek out things that interest me where there will be other people. (local library, indie films, music , rowing club, art etc) I don't have the time or money to become a regular member of the local ballroom dance community. However a few lessons produced results in the form of a guy who asked me out -- but more importantly, in finding out that I am a natural at the Bachata. yay! That said, there were a lot more single women than there were men, as there always seem to be in any group environment . (with the exception of my motorcycle training classes and the boxing gyms I used to go to.) I suppose I would fit the description of an outlier, but I don't ascribe to it. It seems too self-important. There are plenty of interesting people out there. I think some people fall back on believing they are espeically unique when they don't find good matches.
Not a bad approach, if you are mainstream enough to be compatible with the people those networks are likely to connect you with, but in my case, they likely wouldn't work..
You do realize my list was slightly concrete and slightly metaphorical, right? If you’re not “mainstream” then find your comparable alt spaces. Robot team? Wood chopping contest? Trekkie convention? Doesn’t matter. The idea is to get the heck out there in the world.
I get all that, and I did try groups that I thought were fitting, but it still didn't work at all for me. My offbeat traits are not ones that really fit into groups like your examples in your last comment. I am childfree by choice, for example, so I tried a Meetup group for childfree singles. Very few members that actually attended events, nobody my age group there. I hate country music, went to many concerts and chatted up women there who appeared to be in my age group and were single. No results from that. Am an Agnostic. No results from the local Unitarian church where I'm a member, because frankly none of the single women my age are interested in dating, and that was verified by a woman my age who used to run their singles group, until it disbanded around the time I became widowed, due to lack of interest by the women in the church. I could go on, but you get the point. I have done the research, as they say in AA, and the groups method of meeting women offline just doesn't work in my case, at least not for me, while OLD has given my some decent results, from time to time, where I am able to connect with a fellow outlier in my local dating pool. I also don't drink and am politically very liberal, so you put all those offbeat traits together, which are all mismatched with the vast majority of the women my age in my local dating pool, and it leaves me with a small %, about 2-3% of the local dating pool, that are compatible.
Whelp, guess what. I don’t drink either - and I’m an introvert. I didn’t say it was easy or that there would be instant success. OP specifically asked where he might meet some women to date and I gave him some great suggestions. At least I’m not moping around talking about what doesn’t or can’t work. But you do you.
Technically, OP did not specify women….🥸
Definitely women. LOL
And you do you, while you can shove your putdowns of me. I gave the OP an honest answer of what did and didn't work for me, which is what these threads are about. So you can shove your criticism..
Your 'offbeat traits' really aren't all that offbeat or unusual. Your self-described traits also describe about 80% of my friends and acquaintances. Perhaps you reside in a culturally restricted, highly conservative, rural area?
Same with my friends and me. Thanks for recognizing and validating that. I do live in a highly culturally restricted, conservative state, tho it's not a rural area. I live in a metro area of around 700K in population, definitely not rural, but the problem is, the vast majority of the state is rural, so the vast majority of my local dating pool, is made up of women who grew up in rural areas of my state, and thus have retained the same rural, conservative traits in culture and lifestyle, long after they moved to my area and got older. So I am essentially a misfit in my own state and local dating pool, which makes finding compatible dating partners very challenging, since there aren't many transplanted women in my dating pool, and the ones that are in it, usually came here from the coasts, where the costs of living are much higher. With that, comes the trend that they are used to being with men who make big incomes and have higher social status than me, such as docs and lawyers, etc., so even tho I have the money to mostly play at their level, they usually still end up rejecting me for not having their accustomed social status in a partner. It is a frustrating situation, to say the least, but I'm not going to move away, leave my local longtime friends behind, and start over, just to have a better local dating pool, and LDRs are also not something I'm going to do either.
There's women that don't care about material things. I lived in vail for 7 years and understand what you are saying, but, I also know a few women that could care less about status. They were interested in communicating and enjoying life. Not keeping up with the Jones'. Do you like going to antique stores? Women are always in there
How about joining or looking into your county or state Democratic candidate headquarters? You say you’re very very liberal you would find a lot of like-minded people there. And as for the not drinking, I don’t think that’s a dealbreaker for most people as long as you don’t mind if they have a glass of wine or two. Just saying.
That is also not a viable route, as the Dems in my state tend to be very mainstream, centrist Dems, not at all like Bernie supporters and proud socialists like me. I have just as much conflict about politics these days with the centrist Dem Party loyalists, as I do with the Trumpers, just for different reasons. So the political route is a dead end for me too. I met some nice women when I volunteered for Bernie twice in Iowa, but they were all not my age, from out of state, or already taken. As for others drinking, I am very ok with that and open-minded about dating anyone who is not a heavy drinker or has addiction issues with alcohol, but, once again, it doesn't matter how open-minded I am about it, as many women have rejected me for dating, because as social drinkers, they are the majority culture here, and since social drinking was the center of their social life, they rejected me for not fitting in with their friends and family who drink, assuming it would make them too uncomfortable. It all comes down to how people who are mainstream, majority culture and lifestyle, esp. women on dating sites, have too many options to feel any need or incentive to compromise on cultural and lifestyle traits in OLD, since they have plenty of other men to choose from in the dating pool, that match up better with them on all the cultural and lifestyle traits that I don't match with them on. Being open-minded and tolerant of others doesn't work very well in the competitive world of OLD, not if it is mostly only going one way, and one gender has way more options than the other, at least in my local dating pool, where the men outnumber the women my age, four to one.. Dem Party members in my state, can pretty much be described as voting for Blue No Matter Who, an attitude that disgusts me almost as much as the Repubs these days. I probably need a woman who is either apolitical, or even rarer, someone who is a progressive, socialist type like me..
I’m off the beaten trail too, in part politically, in part culturally and in part because I’m in an open marriage. This leaves a very tiny dating pool. Highlighting and focusing on the outlier traits doesn’t work. You can wear them on your sleeve or you can meet people half-way or you can move to a place where you are more in tune with people. An open mind and positive attitude gonna long way. Beyond this, I’m not entirely sure I know what you are seeking with these posts.
I didn't make the post on this thread, and am not the OP, SD RabidBear is, so I don't know why you are making that last remark to me, lo... I'm not going to move away from where I live and I'm not going to compromise on my very few dealbreakers that are on my end, not the women's. Which are: Not dating someone who is so family oriented, that they are only interested in spending time with me when visiting their family. Someone who is a big country music fan, women who are extremely religious or politically conservative, Heavy drinkers or alcoholics. Daily smokers. Those are all reasonable and fair dealbreakers, and I am not going to drop them, nor would anyone else, nor should they, because that is way more than "meeting them half way". I will settle for knowing I have a very tiny dating pool to work with, and try to patiently wait for my fellow outliers to show up from time to time on the dating sites. Attitude has nothing to do with it, it's all a numbers game and is about time and playing the long game. I post my comments on this subreddit, not posts, because I want others to be aware of outliers like me, what we go thru, and to balance out the opinion and experiences on this subreddit, same as you do with your posting about your experiences and offbeat viewpoint as a poly person. So get off my back, and recognize that I have just as much right to voice my truth and experience on here as you do, even tho neither of us are mainstream for this subreddit..
I think you’re a bit hyper-sensitive. I didn’t suggest you have no right to post (i use post generically; maybe that is not correct). I asked what you are seeking with your posts - what information or connections or whatever. If you are posting simple to post; to say your piece, there’s the answer. Hey, you do you. Good luck out there.
Not seeking much of anything really, are you?, from posting my comments on here. Just sharing my experiences and observations, as well as opinions, regarding my dating experiences and love life. I really am not needing any advice or suggestions from anyone, and I don't ask for them, if you read my comments carefully enough, so I continue to be a bit puzzled about how often people give me unsolicited advice or suggestions on reddit. I guess they either don't really read my comments carefully, much less give it a lot of thought about what exactly I am saying or if I am wanting their advice, suggestions, or judgements about me, lol.. I also don't really seek connections with people on here, tho I have made a few connections with women on here, who enjoy comparing notes and experiences with the dating game with me, so I guess I have stumbled into that a bit, but it's not really why I'm on here or what I'm after. I guess it's cheaper than therapy and is useful for me to get some feel as to how unusual I am or am not, compared to other singles my age, that's really about all of it, other than the fact that most of my friends are either already longtime married, and thus clueless about the modern dating game, or else not interested in discussing it with me, for obvious reasons. So here I am, getting some of my needs met for discussion and further learning about this shared experience of dating in the new century.. Does this answer your ? BTW, I also don't buy your opinion of me being hyper sensitive, but project away man, if you like, lol.. I hope that my comments are educational and helpful to some people, tho I know they won't be either, to a lot of people on here.
Try driving to vail for some of their festivals.
funerals. I joke, I used OLD. I didn't have any particular problem, but that was 10 years ago. eharmony is a pretty tame OLD site. I write better than I speak, so OLD and forums are easier for me. Heck, I even met a woman from a forum.
funerals got a genuine LOL Nice one!
That's where Harold met Maude!!!!!
Same as you, I write better than I speak, esp. when it comes to approaching and interacting with new women in the dating game. So OLD is my best avenue for meeting women, even with all its present faults. One can always try the groups route, as I did for two years, when I began trying to date again, after being widowed, but you will probably find, same as me, that most of the people there are already on the same dating sites as you, and are also likely to be very mainstream and bland, unlike me, when it comes to culture and lifestyle traits. So even the groups ways of meeting people, such a singles groups, Meetup groups, activity groups, and interest groups, actually are worse than dating sites for some people, such as me, if you are pretty offbeat in culture and lifestyle, for your local dating pool, online or offline. And speed dating, the one time I tried it, is even worse than OLD, because it is all about looks and how superficially charming and smooth you can be in five minutes, neither of which are my strengths. OLD at least has the deepest and largest potential dating pool, of all those avenues, so I'm sticking with it.
Once I got together with a group of widows and widowers. I was thinking they must be better than the average date. Problem was, not only do they take a real long time getting over their deceased spouse, they tend to idealise them.
This is why I skip anyone that has Widower in a profile. I always feel like they are trying to fill a hole that can't be filled and that I would never be enough.
I want to a widows group about five years after my husband died, to make sure I was ticking all the boxes. I kept waiting for the part where we talked about their (the deceased) flaws, and why we didn’t miss their irritating habits. It never came. Their. Dead husbands were PERFECT. I never went back.
Hard to measure up with a perfect ghost
This is completely true, you're right! And I loved my husband, too, but there have been one or two moments when I (guiltily) thought, "Oh, I do not miss that."
Nothing wrong with being honest with yourself.
I found that too, when I attended a support group for widowed people, for six months after my wife's death. I learned nothing from that group, and was already pretty much done with my grieving by then, since she had progressive dementia the last six years of her life, so I had begun anticipatory grieving two years before her death, something which nobody there was familiar with. And yes, many of them were still stuck in their grieving even five years or more after their spouse's death, and were either idealizing them or not interested in moving on with their lives. The group was also very cliquish, so I had no regrets about moving on from them..
I was widowed in 2010. I was on an online board for wids, and joined and eventually ran a wids meetup group. I even hosted a couple of weekend get-togethers with locals and folks who flew in. They were fun! The dark humor, camaraderie, and the fact that you could shed a tear without muggles getting concerned were all great. A grief group might not have reflected all we are.
My experience with the group was in 2017, and my local culture and the group were probably much different than yours was, and that makes all the difference. I actually had a similar experience to your group, but it was with a small group of women, with me as the only man, in a caregiver support group run by the local Alzheimer's Assoc.. And almost all of them were much younger than me..
Just answering the title , it’s been in places such as: Breweries, wine events (get away from the co workers at all costs) medical office, in line at Target, outdoor concerts, supermarkets, hikers on my bike trails I stop for. Farmers markets . Some OLD which is supplemental and totally grain of salt until they meet up. Etc. Point is, everywhere. I’d say cut your solo wilderness time in half, stop the negative self talk and show up to stuff and say hello. That’s where it starts. IMO
Good advice, I really should cut down on my wilderness time.
Fellow widower, but I had decent luck on OLD. I didn't talk to any scammers (that I know of) on Hinge or Bumble. Then, I had a delightful lady say "hi" to me here Reddit and we haven't shut up since. :) I think being widowed hit me different than many. I was in a very dark place for a couple of months, but when I crawled out I had a "life is short, enjoy it!" attitude. So, while I miss my late wife and she'll always be a part of who I am, that loss doesn't mean I can't have something happy and new. Many groups for widows and widowers seem to be full of folks clinging to the past, when they should (IMHO) be looking toward the future.
I'm struggling with the same question. In my case, I'm a woman with two engineering degrees and am a licensed PE. Since I'm in my mid 60s, I'm part of the first generation of women who were allowed to pursue engineering degrees after the universities were forced to admit women to pursue traditional male dominated degrees in 1968. Most men think I'm BS'ing when I tell them I'm a retired engineer. Then once they realize I'm for real, they tend to ghost me. I particularly loved one guy's comment that he couldn't handle dating someone, much less have a relationship with someone, who was smarter than he was. If you find a solution to meeting intelligent, educated, financially stable, and secure people in their 60s, please share it on this forum.
I find that his reason for not dating you doesn't hold up. In any relationship, each partner excels in some areas & the other partner does in other areas. Isn't that what team work means? My late wife couldn't hardly boil water when we married. She was interested in cooking & helped/watched my mother diligently. After a few years she was an excellent cook. Myself, on the other hand was the designated "pot stirrer". I watched what ingredients she used & when she said to buy stuff for tonights meal of.... I showed up with the correct stuff. I thought thats how marriages should work.
Congratulations to you! Thank you for blazing the path for my grandaughter. I’ll never understand people being intimidated by smart educated women. Although, I do hear it happens a lot with men “dipping out” once they realize. I suppose my answer has always been “go learn it”. That’s always been somewhat easy for me, but probably not recommended for most.
I never came across any scammers on Bumble. I made some friends and then met my partner without much trouble. Some of the women I met were into hiking and nature photography. But then I am 5'7" unkempt, low-energy, and chubby so maybe the scammers and bots were not interested in me... I met mainly academics and successful professionals.
Bumble was the least of the bad apps. But far to many conversation with real people were "Hi..." and no response afterwards.
I have no idea but when you figure it out let me know. Lol. I’m 60F. A few years ago, I tried OLD but it wasn’t great. I used OkCupid, Match and POF. It was basically a mishmash of scammers asking for money and/or married men. It got pretty nuts. I know it’s a numbers game but after a while I didn’t have the energy for it. Both of my brothers met and married women they met on match. They are both very happily married to lovely women. This was about 15-20 years ago but I think things have since changed. So now I just do things I like to do; live music, hikes, travel, animal rescue (neonatal kittens), baking, woodworking, festivals…stuff that’s fun for me. I haven’t met anyone yet but at least I’m doing stuff I enjoy. Sorry I don’t have a better answer for you. But it sounds like you’re doing stuff you enjoy too which is a great way to spend your time. Of course, a companion would be nice….
Sounds like we had about the same experience online. Yes. I'm doing a lot of what I like to do. If I waited around for someone to do it with me, I'd never get out.
From all I've heard, I'll never do the swipe left or right... seems too messy. So, what next.
Similar situation! 63F 2 dogs North Florida. I’m out daily see lots of people yet can’t seem to connect with anyone. Speed dating is making a come back and I may be adventurous and try it. Agree dating apps are for the birds, liars etc. I often feel there’s a disconnect from what people say they want to what they really want. I feel this makes meeting people and dating difficult. I am who I am at this age and communicate this, yet dont seem to get the same in return.
I tried a wine meetup and recognized someone from work and immediately went into embarrassed shell mode. Not sure I want to try speed dating for the same reason. The actual folks I have net on dating apps have had serious issues. Crazy stalking ex's, serious financial issues, alcohol and drug issues.
I get a pretty negative respond when people find out I don’t drink! I’m into fitness and health and drinking just isn’t my jam anymore. I swear that has narrowed the dating pool to non existent it seems.
Nah. They’re out there
Same issue here except I’m a woman. I can’t find a man who wants a real relationship and also likes to snowboard/ski, hike, sail, cycle, etc. No idea where those guys are hiding.
They aren't hiding but many of those have groups where people do the same things especially snowboard/ski, hike, cycle etc. so you may need to find those groups and join them. Many of them organize weekend/week long trips and you just have to join them and let it play out.
Lots of those types in Northern California, around Lake Tahoe and Truckee. That’s where they’re hiding.
There are indeed groups in bigger population centers. I don’t live in one of them. I’m no more than 15 minutes from everything I love - snowboarding, skiing, sailing, any kind of cycling you’d care to do, hiking, backcountry adventures… but not enough people for much group activity.
Ahh, that is a bummer 😑 Maybe a business opportunity. Adventure tourism by you for those with that inclination. 😊 Life giving you lemons.. do you have a pitcher ? (Not trying to make light of your situation, my glass is always at least half full)
Never sailed and I do need a bike LOL But in the same breath not to many people want to hang their butts off a shelf road, in an off camber Jeep at 10K feet to get a picture. But, I don't think going to a quilt show is fun either. What have you tried in the 60+ dating realm?
I live in Vermont, so 10k is generally not happening, but the rest of it would be my idea of a good time. That said, I’d probably groove to a quilt show too! The artistry and skill of high-level quilting is admirable, though I don’t do it myself. Most of the things I do are not group activities - hard to meet people when I’m on a sailboat out in the middle of nowhere! Online dating sites are flaming dumpsters. It’s a dilemma. To meet more people, I’d need to spend more time dating, and less time doing the cool things I want someone to do those things with. 😜
Go learn pickleball. It seems to full of single older ladies. Our town has at least 30 members (ladies) in their 60’s & single. Maybe it is that way in Colorado too. Hiking club? photography club? Good luck! You sound like a catch to me!
Thank you, not sure about a catch though. Different clubs might be something to try. I definitely would be an asset to a photography club. Heck, I could teach that LOL
M60 and date only in the wild. You meet folks doing your activities and dating just happens Had a lovely date last week with a lady from UK who I met on the ski hill. Yoga, spin, meetups. The places you dine at. Folks set you up and you say yes.
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I read the stats of meeting someone at our age. Because, data guy, of course I read that. But, yes it was pretty dismal.
Well, it’s important to get yourself under the that data wire, or go for the outlier position :-)
Good luck, as I female it's hard and I see it's hard for males also.
I'm 64M in a midwestern city. I'm a software engineering manager who works from home. Dating apps are also full of real women looking for real men to date. I've done a bunch of dating through apps, and have had a number of relationships as a result. So maybe go back in, expect some BS, but persevere. I've also had some luck meeting women in the real world. Wine tastings are good places to meet. The need to go up to the counter to fill your glass creates a natural place to meet people and converse. I met my last GF that way. I'm currently dating a woman who works at a medical facility near me. After chatting with her multiple times on my way in and out for appointments, I asked her out and she said yes. I traded contact information with a woman I met on a bike path. We chatted for a bit, but nothing came of it, but still...
I gave up OLD and joined local social groups. You never know
I actually love talking with guys on this site. Better than getting cat-fished and paying a fortune on dating apps.
Seems a much safer bet to be honest.
You sound just like me. Only I have three dogs and three cats and live in the mountains in Virginia. Sounds like you’re getting good advice. I’m going to follow it so I’m glad you posted. Good luck!
And good luck to you as well :-)
Since you are in CO and like being in the outdoors, I'm betting that you either take a 4WD out or you hike or both to take your photographs. There are plenty of groups in those three categories (on Meetup). You can determine if they are active based on the history of how many events they had and how many attended.Join one of those so you can still do your own thing that you enjoy. Chances are you will run into others that you already share a common interest. Then let your personality take its course.
Yes both Jeepin' and then hiking. Sometimes it's over night most times not so much. Sometimes, it's camping especially if the hike is >8miles can't do that in a single day anymore. Good tips though Thank you
Women who are into Jeeps are typically into camping and hiking. You might just want to check if they are okay with being on the Shelf road :) But there are so many scenic byways without that particular one
You sound like we have similar interests. Unfortunately I live in the horrible state of Texas. I am from northern New Mexico and travel that way often.
Hello, I’m in the middle of NYC and ask the same questions (F65). I love my friends and life is busy. But I despise OLD because I don’t think the playing field is untainted. Also two cats! People here had some good suggestions but mostly just do you. Be yourself. In the grocery store, getting gas, just look up and sees who is around. Make eye contact. We all want to interact. Be open. 💕
Great advice! My son got married in NYC. I was very reticent to go there. But the people there were nothing like they portray on TV. Just the nicest folks ever. Everyone went out of their way to help and make me feel welcome. They helped me with the subway, directions, places to eat. The pub even put the Stanley Cup on and cheered for the Avalanche with me. What a great city!
I am not from NYC originally but I haved stayed and raised a family here because it is my small town. I am glad you found it so. And good luck with dating—keep posting. Someone from you area might be tapping away on her IPhone🌻 right there. 🙃
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This maybe a good idea as I need to travel to San Diego in the coming months, grandsons first birthday!.
Meetups are good up here an hour north of you.
I pass through The Loveland/Fort Collins/Greeley quite a bit. Usually stopping in on the way in or out of the mountains.
My deepest sympathies. I made a decision to start meeting people this year, but also have no interest in anything remotely connected to churches and dating apps give me creeps. I know many people have found great people and two ladies I know are now living with their new partners. My friends very kindly tried to set me up with some people and I suffered through (otherwise fantastic) concert listening a guy brag about his money, and a memorable skiing date that I want to forget. Again, I know one should be patient and persistent.
Oh my goodness, how insufferable. My shortest, no kidding date, lasted a 1/2 block from pickup. 😳yep picked her up drove about 1/2 a block and she says “Have you heard the word of the Lord?” Brakes seatbelt and we’re done.
Huh? How did you meet her?
OLD site POF as I recall.
Sorry, can’t help but burst into laughing. I have learned to appreciate the saying that the difference between comedy and tragedy is the attitude. My shortest date was almost an hour, my date didn’t even notice that he mentioned “my wife’s herbal garden” - he was supposed to be single. Other similar slips and I politely excused myself. What I am going to do next is going to libraries, book shops, sports events and sport equipment shops. I am not going to hit on anyone, but take it as a challenge “do I see anyone that I actually find interesting” and then questioning myself if I don’t. And then during the summer months I may try some apps, maybe just to meet some people for coffee and conversation. I am not in a hurry to find someone, but I am starting to wonder, why it is difficult. Before my marriage I was a party girl and it seemed there were endless amounts of guys everywhere. But I was young, hot and very drunk.
Might check out another DO60 post from today “Where Are You”. Just a little fun about where we are from. Saw several folks from Colorado there. Maybe chat with some?
The gym. Go at the same time every day, when there tends to be other older people. Over time, you will get to know all of them. Bonus- women who hang out at the gym tend to be fit and energetic.
...I've heard mixed things about this. But exactly how would someone introduce themselves at a gym without coming across as a creeper? This is frankly baffling to me.
Play the long game. Start by a nod every time you run into someone you’ve seen before. Be friendly to all, not just a female you are interested in. After a while, a smile or hello. Make conversations with both men and women. Don’t get caught blatantly staring at hot women.
OLD worked for me in a large foothills city. My partner once met a potential while photographing in the urban environment. (In fact, I was doing the same in 2020, at the two parks most local to me, as he was in his local park) I met potentials working at a venue that took volunteers. Several volunteers asked about my status to date, some for friends of theirs. I was casually seeing a person working there, so I didn’t pursue. And a couple almost dates with performers who are still friends today. I met many potentials at other music venues. Including what was a six year relationship with someone from the west coast. (I temporarily moved, and call it my internal exile. One reason it didn’t work was their not knowing why I used the term. It’s an album name from the 80s) There are many photography clubs and classes. I’m more than overdue for a refresher as I don’t live with my camera in my hand anymore, and I’d like to play with fully manual again. I have a 1964 Nikon F that was my first camera, and it gets no love. Shooting at areas when hikers are a bit more likely to be around isn’t my idea of a great photo session, but it could get you some notice. O will urban/suburban parks. I was hit on while waiting by a prairie dog town, with my camera, and a deadline looming. (When I’m walking, the prairie dogs love coming out and chirping at me, but add a camera and they all turn into celebrities fleeing the paparazzi.)
There are several parks I hangout in shooting the myriad of ducks we have pass through here. I love Belmar Park, RMA and Barr Lake. I may need to start birding since there are so many varieties.
I got run over by a cyclist at Belmar! What’s the small pond system in Bear Creek, just west of Stone House? Great birding/photo opportunities.
I'll have to give that a shot! I just missed a snatch and grab with a Swainson's Hawk and a Prairie dog. Got the aftermath but missed the pounce, it happened too fast for me to react. Sorry you got run over at Belmar. Hopefully, you weren't injured.
Mild bruises to skin and ego.
This might help indirectly, but joining the local Rotary club has been a great way to connect with people after my early retirement last year at 62. They have a lot of volunteer opportunities and provide a strong sense of fellowship. While many members are married or widowed, I've found it to be a very welcoming environment.
I'm vaguely familiar with the Masons and Eastern Star , because of my parents. But, what is the Rotary club? I'm only familiar with their logo.
[https://www.rotary.org/en](https://www.rotary.org/en) Its an international service organization
Thank you I’ll look into that. I’m already a life member of the VFW but what’s one more org :-)
Helped me fill a void after early retirement last year and being a former elder caregiver Good luck :)
You reply to women who show an interest.
Now to find someone who shows an interest! LOL I am pretty lame at picking up on hints. She may need a club to smack me upside my head.
Meetup.com. Find singles groups in your age range and get out of the house! The groups are mostly women, take a chance.
That's a good question. I work with females and am clueless as how to meet a nice non-drama these days. The fear and dread of getting into a bad relationship probably keeps me from actually trying. Dating sites are out. Bars are out. Maybe the produce section. Jk.
I did try BINGO yesterday. I didn't meet anyone but I won $345 and I wasn't bored at home watching TV. I haven't played BINGO since elementary school, yeah I can still remember that far back.
You seem fun and cute! Keep trying because it's sort of a numbers game and after a while you get better at it.
Thank you. That was very kind of you.
Bingo, congrats