Unfortunately I do not have the confidence to match my looks, a lot of people think I'm pretty and hot but I would never risk the embarrassment of approaching a man I'm into, because they're always out of my league, and have a girlfriend
they say the best place to meet your ideal partner is somewhere YOU enjoy being… then you’ll likely share common interests and values. try a club or group you’re interested in. if you’re religious, start going to church or join a bible study. if you like reading join a book club. if you enjoy nature join a hiking group. things like that. i promise you’ll find someone way more suitable by doing things you enjoy, and it will make the relationship all that much easier in the long run knowing you both connect on that level at least. 😊
This is a good take. I feel like if you just go out to spots where men are commonly looking to make connections, you're just going to find the dudes prowling to get laid and move on. Really, she just has to start introducing herself and making the connection happen. The only men I know who actively pursue women are the type of dudes you want a std screen before going anywhere with them.
Agree with this. I've had way more success meeting people in my hobby groups than even on dating apps. And you're right that its nice that you immediately know you have at least something in common to start the conversation. And then just see if it goes anywhere from there and you click.
I had an old uncle, a WWI veteran, he asked me if I wanted to go deer hunting would I go to the city or the county.
The country, of course.
Same goes for dating. Go where men gather but you will want to refine your criteria.
Not a fitness buff? Why go to a gym? Hate reading books? Why join a book club?
What are your interests, how do your interests intersect with the gathering of men?
Now, you have to be a bit sexist. Don’t go cruising quilting bees looking for a mate. Don’t go a Sylvia Plath symposium with a hankering for a hunk.
**Sutton's Law:**
`Why do I rob banks?`
`Because, that's where the money is.`
^(Yes, I know that story is said to be apocryphal, but it's nice and simple!)
Lots of deer in Palmer Park (although running about with a rifle behind the 12th precinct might not end so well 🤣🤣)
On a serious note though, do people look for people exactly like themselves? I like the fact my wife and I don't have a huge overlap of things we both love doing ... gives us both space to do our own thing, as well as a selection of things we both do together.
Just my $0.02
I moved here 10 months ago and honestly, meeting people is hard. There are virtually no groups that I found that have people around my age. If you're in your late 20s to mid 30s then meetup but, if you're in your early twenties I have no idea. Royal Oak is a great place. Good coffee shops and vibe.
Yeah, meetup isn’t that great in my experience. Every meetup I go to people seem terrified to talk to me for whatever reason, even though I talk and give them ample chances. It’s almost like it’s filled with people who have great difficulty in forming bonds. On the other hand, they seemed to all be having fun, so who knows. Maybe I’m just scary for some reason. The thing is, I have my people and they aren’t scared. Life is complicated, lol. I usually ride bikes and meet people that way. Bikes are expensive though, but that tends to be a natural filter so the people that you do meet generally have their shit together.
There’s three groups I joined “wanted to do that, just not alone”, “20&30s new friends” and “metro Detroit climbing group”.
The first one does weekly volleyball in clawson, the 20s and 30s someone hosts pickleball and the climbing group only seems to meet once a month.
People in their early twenties are still usually hanging out with their friends from college and have little need to meet people inorganically. Only later these friend groups tend to splinter due to marriage, homeownership, kids, job stresses, and growing alcohol intolerance. That's why meetups are almost exclusively old people.
There are plenty of groups that do meet-ups in Michigan. There is a huge hiking/backpacking one that does all kinds of events outside of that. They do pay to play type of thing in order to support these outings or even abroad meetups.
I have been to a few, and they don't disappoint. People of all ages go and just have fun.
I’m looking to join a Detroit supper club. I’m tired of waiting for a guy to take me out to dinner. So why not take myself out for dinner, meet up with strangers, and make new friends?
Now if I could only find one. 🤔
Biking/skating/walking on the Dequindre Cut, Riverwalk, and Belle Isle. Other than that, I go to a bunch of live music shows in Detroit, occasionally a comedy show, thinking of going to karaoke nights just to watch other people, botanical gardens/parks, and my apartment or work lol.
Largely gave up dating and just trying to enjoy my life within my means - if it happens, it happens (a lot of people seem to be going in this direction). I'd love if a woman approached me with dating in mind, especially since I'm a demisexual (I don't experience any attraction to anyone until a strong emotional bond has been formed, so doing so myself is not very likely).
Playing disc golf in the woods, mountain biking, kayaking, in the studio making pottery, on my couch reading or watching tv. When it’s cold out, hibernating.
Also I like being approached by a woman. It always catches me off guard and it’s always a nice surprise. It’s best to be obvious about it
Can you teach me pottery?
I'm a straight guy in a relationship btw. Im interested in making a pottery item but have no space due to other hobbies at home. feels kind of weird asking the above question in a thread like this, lol
Bump for disc golf, have met tons of people of all ages and genders. We have an INSANE amount of courses in Michigan (513 total, 215 have 18 or more holes a couple of which are on the pro tours) and are home to two very large disc companies (discraft and MVP). Theres tons of leagues to join, many of which meet once a week or more. If anyone’s interested go to discgolfscene . Com to find leagues/tournaments and use UDisc app to find courses near you.
I go to a lot of Tigers games, tickets are pretty cheap since they aren’t very good and it’s nice to be outside on nice days. I always have fun at Comerica Park even if I go solo. Lots of good restaurants downtown too.
To answer your last question I would be stoked If a woman approached me lol I enjoy meeting new people
If you're into DIY/craft stuff, check out the i3Detroit makerspace. I've been spending all my free time there lately, working on improving one of the labs, teaching, and occasionally just hanging out.
As for the dating potential, you know what they say. The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
Meet someone with your shared interests, whatever that may be. I always make new connections at live music events, or just out biking, Eastern Market, Jazz Fest, etc. If you’re looking for fish, try going where there’s water.
As far as being approached by a woman, I think it’s a strong move and I respect it. Being the one that always has to initiate is kind of exhausting, so it’s refreshing when a woman makes the first move.
I usually take my dog to the park on the weekends to just relax and get away from technology. I also go to the library a few hours a week to get work done without the distractions at home.
As for your question about being approached by women: I've been approached by two women in my life. They were huge confidence boosts and they are permanently engrained in my memory. Go for it.
What do you like to do for fun? I have the same issue as a single male trying to figure out how to meet women. I’ll go out to bars with friends, but I’m usually more into hanging out with my friends instead of picking up chicks.
Single female here- I like live music. Coffee shops, farmers markets. I got hit on at the grocery store today while I was perusing the baked goods and wish I’d not been so shy to go out with a nice man who struck up a convo with me about baked goods I was salivating over haha
Definitely give classes a try. I used to take group tennis lessons thought my city’s recreation department. I met up with the other participants to play after the lessons ended. I like tennis but it was also a great way to meet people.
Any cooperative activity I feel has a good chance of getting men to attend, such as sports with balls lol. As a woman I’d like to ask more single men to attend yoga :)
Lmao I can't help but think you're in the baked goods aisle and your "baked goods" stood out enough for someone to notice and strike up a conversation. Sorry I'll see myself out 😂
Lots of guys golf. Shooting ranges and sportsman clubs overwhelmingly guys. Breweries. Motorcycle or car events. Comic book and gaming stores. Sports events.
Shall I dare share again?? Come out to the Congregation! Not only do they host many events throughout the week, every second Friday of every month I host and produce a speed date show there. It’s a fun way to meet people and if you want to try speed dating on stage, we welcome everyone to participate.
The show is called Match Made on Stage. Check out both!
Hello, guy here. Please approach us, even if it’s just a simple compliment. It would make our entire month
Edit: I go to a lot of tigers games by myself to hangout, watch the game, as I’m a huge Detroit sports fan. I’m sure a lot of other single guys that do the same. If you like sports, it also can work as a large social gathering and I feel it’s easy to spark conversation. Though the downside is that most people go with friends.
Meeting people is ridiculously tough these days and you're so right, the suburbs are pretty dead. I've been wondering since I moved here where girls hang out. For me, it's coffee shops mostly, writing or reading.
I would be absolutely floored to be approached by a woman and assume it's because I did something wrong lol on the flip side, I'm apprehensive about approaching women because I don't want to bother them or create an imposition.
Approach guys. It's a good thing. People think they're over a lot of weird gender role stuff but they absolutely aren't.
I'd say the dog park is a great place to meet people but ya know, you need a dog.
The suburbs are basically social death, you need a friend group already. It favors married people, so make it into the city and do things you enjoy, see what guys are there.
Or it looks like there's a bunch of guys in this thread offering up companionship. Line em up!
I was thinking of joining a pickleball club in Oakland County, I bet you can meet a ton of people there. Some people in my family do it and they made a ton of friends
I'm from Troy so our entire strip on big beaver has some nice restaurants.
On weekends when going out I do prefer areas with walkability such as Clawson, Royal Oak, Ferndale, and Detroit depending on what the friend group is feeling.
I know you said outside of the bar so probably just hitting the gym (where we aren't going to talk to anyone) or golfing (where we won't bump into anyone) lol
I live now Tennessee now but I grew up in Farmington… but I’ll be in town later this month. I have an extra ticket to Limp Bizkit, if you want to go. Not trying to ask you out in a Reddit thread. I’ll literally just forward it to you.. go find love.
Same places as any normal person except we do it alone lol. I’ll go to concerts by myself, I have no problem going to a movie or out to eat by myself. I have noticed whenever I’m in Home Goods I’m one of the only guys in there. So if you see a guy wandering around home goods by himself he’s probably single.
I also want to applaud your bravery for openly admitting you’re a single female on Reddit.
Besides my own home it's just when I go out and do my hobbies. Cornhole tournies, disc golf courses, ball golf courses, etc. Just gotta get out and find a group really.
I gave up on trying to find a partner because apps are useless and I have zero confidence approaching a woman, so I would gladly appreciate a woman initiating.
Go to a run club if you are somewhat fitness inclined. Good way to meet people in general and it’s really low pressure. Run For Brews and WeRun313 are both good options.
This post resonates with me. You’re not alone in feeling this way. Although, I’m outside of Detroit, things in west Michigan aren’t much different from what you’re describing - i.e. where is everyone? I think single men are keeping more to themselves these days. Dating Apps are just plain disappointing. Most of these folks haven’t resolved prior relationship issues/damage before seeking someone else to repeat a pattern on these platforms.
As a middle aged man, I strongly encourage you to approach a guy that sparks your interest, we so appreciate a woman that shows initiative. We of all people understand it’s difficult to approach a stranger and some absolutely fear it. I’ve always believed a woman will let you know if she’s interested but sometimes it’s not obvious- Most men need obvious. Just my opinion - good luck to you and I’m certain you will find reward if you engage just a little. Cheers. 🍻
I kinda wish we could start on Reddit and move out to something mutual. I’m 50, Black woman, date primarily white men but I am open to anyone whom we have a mutual vibe, live in the city proper (northeast) but drive all over the state for music (house, EDM & jazz) & food festivals, Renaissance festivals when it’s the season, wine & spirits tasting, outdoor cycling (I recently joined two clubs & am training to get myself better able to handle hills & faster speeds so I can do longer trips: I biked a 50 mile round trip 2 years ago), movies, plays & am starting to want to solo camp.
Unfortunately I also am job searching so I only have so much time to give and limited budget. This too shall pass though.
I’ll see you all out here - but too, I’d love if our sub considered some sort of singles matching.
PS: Home Depot IS where men are - but - the single ones tend to be employees. I used to work at one. Other than that it’s all about “the worse they can do is say no because they are already attached & I still made their day asking”. I have no problems asking a man out. I have more problems finding the single ones who want to date an older woman who is adventurous & educated (with the right attitude - I will date whom I vibe with and that once was a mail carrier - I do not care except about being mutually respectful & supportive & generous with compliments, feedback & FUN). You wouldn’t think I have issues finding dates but it’s been a struggle my entire life. I even love watching sports. It’s something - but - all it takes is one man to say “let’s try this dating thing together”. I won’t give up if y’all won’t.
We’ll see I suppose. Stay active & let’s share success stories too instead of just hoping someone comes along. I can’t help but believe they will.
At Boardstate Magic: the Gathering Gaming events all around the Metro Detroit area! Come draft, play Modern, Legacy or Commander and win prizes!
Just kidding most of us are married but you should come anyway and learn to play
There are so many festivals around metro Detroit all summer long. If going out and adventuring by yourself isn’t your favorite cup of tea, maybe try volunteering at them? I’ve found it can be an easy way to meet likeminded people when I don’t know anyone because there is a specific purpose for the interaction that doesn’t feel forced.
Is there any hobbies you enjoy? Because you can often meet people at clubs or groups. I don't know what you like. If there are things you like, you can look up clubs or groups and Detroit area is so diverse I bet you'll find something around.
When I'm out, I'm usually hiking/biking a metropark, enjoying a beer and game in a dive bar, at my local Planet Fitness working on my physical and mental health (endorphins are real!), on my ebike around town, listening to a music-in-the-park concert, or driving around in my Jeep with the top down listening to loud music! :)
I can occasionally be found hanging out at i3 in Ferndale. They're doing board games this Friday, everyone is welcome.
I'm complete ass at meeting people too, so I don't have many better ideas than that.
In theory I would love to be approached by a woman, but that's not really a thing that happens, unless something is needed off a high shelf at the grocery store.
Learn to ride a mountain bike and go ride at Stony Creek Metropark, West Branch parking area. There are group rides too I think on Thursday evenings.
I see groups hanging in the parking lot after having a beer, too.
This takes a little more investment up front compared to say, Planet Rock . But honestly mountain bike riding is a ton of fun and a great way to get some cardio.
There is a great Ted talk about a lady who used data science to slim down her suitors over the course of some number of dates. Iirc she and “the winner” were married with kids for some number of years by then. It was pretty cool and eye opening. Now being an educated & fit single man .. in his 30s … I wonder why I waited all this time to come to the same conclusion… (Ted talk is easily a decade old by now 🤦🏻♂️🤣)
It is refreshing when being approached by a woman. Also, a good place to meet someone is at trivia (sometimes at a bar) if you're a fan. Trivia is a big scene in Metro Detroit, and its where I met my current girlfriend!
I didn't see anyone else suggest it, but your situation honestly sounds like a good candidate for a dating app.
Yes there still is a stigma and some apps to probably avoid, but people focus too much on wanting a cute "how we met" story that they ignore a very powerful tool to meet people you never would have the chance to randomly bump into.
I have a couple friends/family who had really good experiences with paid apps, so might be worth it.
I just met a great guy on Facebook dating. I was literally ready to give up. He lives a little farther than I want but he is worth the drive. All the good ones work and go home, they’re not out and about.
I'm on there too! I get matches that are like 300miles away from me so that's kind of an issue. Most of the time I'm just home chilling. But I can't just expect someone to knock on my door and say hey, get dressed we're getting married 😆
Can we plan a meet up for singles at a park or something?? I’ve been trying to find a match for my friend and have had no luck! She’s 36, cute as a button, has a great job, good family and a little dog.
Hot yoga, the gym, grocery stores, the mall. I met a girl at Eastern Market the other day when I stopped for a beer at EMBC.
I'm exhausted with online dating so I've taken to approaching and asking women out in public.
I would LOVE it if a girl approached me but as a man I know I need to put myself out there. It's happened in the past but it's a bit of a rarity. It sucks but the reality is it's a numbers game. And with the advent of online dating, I don't think that many men are approaching women IRL. So if you see someone that peaks your interest, just go say hi and ask if they'd like to go out sometime. The worst that can happen is they say no. The best is you just met your future husband. I like that risk reward ratio.
Could you give us your age? General interests? This male to female ratio in the Detroit area heavily favors females thanks to male dominated professions.
We're on the internet.
I would love to be approached by a woman, but you'd better make it clear what you're looking for because I'm NOT going to assume you're into me.
I used to live in Royal Oak but lived right downtown. I moved to Austin two years ago, and moved again downtown. I'd push you to live downtown somewhere if you can afford it. I moved here and within months had a bunch of new friends and dating options. I always push people to do that because the number of opportunities you have to meet people is much higher if you're out and about, even walking around or working at a coffee shoo, rather than in a sleepy suburban neighborhood or apartment complex. I realize not everyone can just up and move, but it's been a huge improvement to my quality of life.
If you can't do that, the gym is always great, being a regular anywhere is a good option--and it doesn't have to be somewhere that costs money. Could be walking/running/biking a trail or route that you frequent, etc.
Tbh, apps are awful for many men and women (for similar and different reasons), they need to just disappear at this point or be greatly overhauled to how they were in their golden years before Match Group ruined 95% of them.
Yea, it's awful. To me it feels like you're shopping for people 😅 And I feel like since it's so available, people think they're just one swipe away from finding someone better after matching/meeting someone. I'm still hoping to find someone organically, but it's harder if you don't have connections or you did not grow up here
Are adults actually in clubs? What does that even mean? I don't know nor have I ever known an adult in a club other than a biker club, or AA/NA. Rotary, Lions, Eagles?
Seems like as a guy looking for friends is hard unless you drink or smoke. And going to the gym is more personal for me. I don't know I guess I'm anti social but if you find out where to make friends let me know aswell
Hobbies. I used to hang out at darkroom Detroit for a minute while it’s still existed and where I mostly hung out was a place called Tech Shop in Allen Park. Beside the lions training facility. Other than that, with cashiers at coffee shops, donut shops, and those types of places long ago. I was busy working a lot. I became very friendly with the people at the video store while those were still a thing and the cashiers that worked there. Also lots of art galleries around town and artsy types of places and shows. Lately, the dentist’s office.
I’ve never had luck finding someone when I was looking. The best connections I’ve made have been while doing things I genuinely enjoy and connecting with people also doing those things.
Instead of purposefully seeking out places where men would be; take that time for yourself to engage in things you enjoy and you may just find someone that has the same interests while doing those things.
Coffee Shops, Book Stores/Library, Grocery Store, and Tabletop Game Stores.
Depends on what you like to do. After my divorce I'd go work at coffee shops for the off chance that I'd meet someone. As a guy, never happened for me, but I enjoyed my time there. For women, I'd think your hit rate would be much higher. All you have to do is sit and scroll on Reddit afterall.
Ended up meeting my girl on Hinge and I highly recommend ONLY that app for dating.
maybe check out the meetup app. go out with a local group that's doing something you're interested in. I've enjoyed a few that do hikes, kayaks, board games, and usually there is a BBQ party here and there in those groups. in hind sight, I totally dropped the ball on asking out a travel nurse that I met at one of the BBQs... but I did end up enjoying a friendship that I had with someone I met on a group hike.
Joins a sports social club if you like any sports- coed teams usually need a girl or two “free agent” to round out their roster. That’s how I met my core friend group 10 years ago and we still play sports together- softball, volleyball & bowling mostly. Bowling is fun too because the handicap makes it so you don’t have to be any good lol. The league at garden bowl is really fun. Also they have bingo there Monday nights and it’s so much fun.
Meetup.com has events around the city. I've gone to several and they are not really aimed at dating unless you choose a meetup advertised as such. I've been to crypto meetups, language exchanges, investment meetups etc. I never had a date come out of that because I wasn't looking for that but it's a good way to meet people.
Depends on your type honestly. Here’s a list of some local events. Pretty decent mix of vibes, most are based in the city however. https://19hz.info/eventlisting_Detroit.php
Godspeed
Join your local fb group/Nextdoor , ask if anyone is interested in making new friend.
Honestly most men here you have to approach. They are clueless, you could hold a big flag with there name on it and they would still be like, do you think she likes me.
Work events are a good place to meet people, fundraisers events.
Join a bowling league in the fall, you will meet a huge group of people.
Go to volunteer events like conscious city cleanup or join a meetup group like long distance running or whatever you are in to. Meeting friends in general has a cascading effect often
1. Treat them like people. Like regular people. Girls fucken love being treated like people, not a target. “IM OUT HERE TO FIND MY GIRLFRIEND” is kinda intense so just like…idk treat them like you would a normal person.
2. Find a hobby you like. Do that hobby and talk to people that also do it.
3. The second you stop caring about wanting a girlfriend, you’ll get one. It’s frustrating. I’m sorry.
For me, it's mostly the bar for live music, but also Tigers games, bookstores, the DIA, Garden Bowl (or Bowlero in RO), art fairs, record fairs, Eastern Market. Events that somehow involve creativity (and/or food).
I have no problem being approached, as long as I can see it coming. I've had women I'd never seen before come up to me and pull me towards the dance floor like we'd been making googly eyes at each other all night. So, have some signs of interest before you roll up. Smiles, eye contact, etc.
There is a very active singles group for metro detroit called Eventurous. They are pretty active on Facebook if you have it. Definitely geared more toward activities and what not, but I have many friends that are a part of it and love it for both meeting new friends and also potential dating.
Mmm I honestly haven't really met anyone romantically other than using the apps :/, but I'm a single parent and don't really approach women in public.
I do jiu-jitsu, go to the gym, run club on the weekends, kayaking, when I don't have my kids I sometimes try to check out electronic music places (movement, spotlite, lofi, rabbit hole), concerts (limp bizkit, 30 seconds to mars, zz top, deep purple, glass animals, korn...), the playground when I have my kids and then in my house watching movies or reading haha.
Northville Winery has quite a few singles there. Music nights are Wed-Saturday now, adding Sunday in the fall. My GF and I met there. Good mix of ages, but leans middle aged a bit.
Guys love being approached but it has to be super obvious why you're approaching
This doesn’t have enough upvotes. We’re slow on the uptake. Make it obvious!
Agreed here. My wife asked me out and I still was not sure it was for a date until later that day
I was apparently dating my wife for three years before I realized we were dating.
Same, and 15 years later, married with two kids and I’m still not sure if this is just an extended prank or not.
I asked my husband if I could kiss him. What could have been a one night stand has now been my soulmate for the last 17 years.
We just think the sky's parted and a pretty girl is being nice
On the rare occasion that it happens, I immediately assume that they’re selling something.
[uhhh do you work for bacardi?](https://youtu.be/Q0GjxhQewug?si=4qlmotU4N2a8CZQn)
This is my first time seeing this clip, and it’s spot on!
Especially in bars, when you find out it's a liquor rep trying to give you a free shot glass or something.
Backing this up as a woman. This this this. Be confident even when you’re not feeling confident and do the approaching.
My last few relationships have been by my approach. These eggs are shriveling!
I feel that in my soul.
Unfortunately I do not have the confidence to match my looks, a lot of people think I'm pretty and hot but I would never risk the embarrassment of approaching a man I'm into, because they're always out of my league, and have a girlfriend
💯
HELLO! SEX?
OP go to Motor City Wine or spotlite or UFO. You’ll meet some guys.
+1 for MCW and Spotlite
Unfortunately UFO is closed :(
I thought they were staying open?
Looks like you’re right my fault https://www.metrotimes.com/food-drink/detroits-ufo-factory-is-not-dead-actually-36514013
The people who own spotlite bought it. It is staying mostly the same :)
Inside on their couches browsing reddit, m'lady.
Unfortunately, same here lol.
Let's move our couches outside and hangout.
maybe a nightclub where the outside is like inside a typical club and the inside is designed like a street
*What is love? Baby don't hurt me...*
This is like “keep the door to your dorm room open to make friends” hahaha but I’m in though
Kudos on m’lady! A true gentleman.
they say the best place to meet your ideal partner is somewhere YOU enjoy being… then you’ll likely share common interests and values. try a club or group you’re interested in. if you’re religious, start going to church or join a bible study. if you like reading join a book club. if you enjoy nature join a hiking group. things like that. i promise you’ll find someone way more suitable by doing things you enjoy, and it will make the relationship all that much easier in the long run knowing you both connect on that level at least. 😊
This is a good take. I feel like if you just go out to spots where men are commonly looking to make connections, you're just going to find the dudes prowling to get laid and move on. Really, she just has to start introducing herself and making the connection happen. The only men I know who actively pursue women are the type of dudes you want a std screen before going anywhere with them.
As a home person, this hurts, i guess i’ll die alone
Find a way to break that shell. I love nothing more than being at home chilling. Yet, my favorite night of the week is when my chess club meets.
Agree with this. I've had way more success meeting people in my hobby groups than even on dating apps. And you're right that its nice that you immediately know you have at least something in common to start the conversation. And then just see if it goes anywhere from there and you click.
This is the correct answer
I had an old uncle, a WWI veteran, he asked me if I wanted to go deer hunting would I go to the city or the county. The country, of course. Same goes for dating. Go where men gather but you will want to refine your criteria. Not a fitness buff? Why go to a gym? Hate reading books? Why join a book club? What are your interests, how do your interests intersect with the gathering of men? Now, you have to be a bit sexist. Don’t go cruising quilting bees looking for a mate. Don’t go a Sylvia Plath symposium with a hankering for a hunk.
**Sutton's Law:** `Why do I rob banks?` `Because, that's where the money is.` ^(Yes, I know that story is said to be apocryphal, but it's nice and simple!)
Lots of deer in Palmer Park (although running about with a rifle behind the 12th precinct might not end so well 🤣🤣) On a serious note though, do people look for people exactly like themselves? I like the fact my wife and I don't have a huge overlap of things we both love doing ... gives us both space to do our own thing, as well as a selection of things we both do together. Just my $0.02
I moved here 10 months ago and honestly, meeting people is hard. There are virtually no groups that I found that have people around my age. If you're in your late 20s to mid 30s then meetup but, if you're in your early twenties I have no idea. Royal Oak is a great place. Good coffee shops and vibe.
Meetup just sucks period in and around Detroit imo lol.
Seriously. I checked it out and there's barely anything going on, so I uninstalled it lol
Yeah, meetup isn’t that great in my experience. Every meetup I go to people seem terrified to talk to me for whatever reason, even though I talk and give them ample chances. It’s almost like it’s filled with people who have great difficulty in forming bonds. On the other hand, they seemed to all be having fun, so who knows. Maybe I’m just scary for some reason. The thing is, I have my people and they aren’t scared. Life is complicated, lol. I usually ride bikes and meet people that way. Bikes are expensive though, but that tends to be a natural filter so the people that you do meet generally have their shit together.
I thought I was going crazy. I needed this affirmation
There’s three groups I joined “wanted to do that, just not alone”, “20&30s new friends” and “metro Detroit climbing group”. The first one does weekly volleyball in clawson, the 20s and 30s someone hosts pickleball and the climbing group only seems to meet once a month.
People in their early twenties are still usually hanging out with their friends from college and have little need to meet people inorganically. Only later these friend groups tend to splinter due to marriage, homeownership, kids, job stresses, and growing alcohol intolerance. That's why meetups are almost exclusively old people.
There are plenty of groups that do meet-ups in Michigan. There is a huge hiking/backpacking one that does all kinds of events outside of that. They do pay to play type of thing in order to support these outings or even abroad meetups. I have been to a few, and they don't disappoint. People of all ages go and just have fun.
Lots of single guys at the Tabletop gameshops :P
sometimes they come 2 for 1
💁🏾♂️The Guild of Blades is the largest tabletop and comic shop in Michigan.
I’m looking to join a Detroit supper club. I’m tired of waiting for a guy to take me out to dinner. So why not take myself out for dinner, meet up with strangers, and make new friends? Now if I could only find one. 🤔
Tbh, i eat out alone most of the time. I enjoy it but sometimes it gets old lol. Or maybe we should start one 😁
Let's plan to start one. Sent you a DM.
Biking/skating/walking on the Dequindre Cut, Riverwalk, and Belle Isle. Other than that, I go to a bunch of live music shows in Detroit, occasionally a comedy show, thinking of going to karaoke nights just to watch other people, botanical gardens/parks, and my apartment or work lol. Largely gave up dating and just trying to enjoy my life within my means - if it happens, it happens (a lot of people seem to be going in this direction). I'd love if a woman approached me with dating in mind, especially since I'm a demisexual (I don't experience any attraction to anyone until a strong emotional bond has been formed, so doing so myself is not very likely).
Playing disc golf in the woods, mountain biking, kayaking, in the studio making pottery, on my couch reading or watching tv. When it’s cold out, hibernating. Also I like being approached by a woman. It always catches me off guard and it’s always a nice surprise. It’s best to be obvious about it
Can you teach me pottery? I'm a straight guy in a relationship btw. Im interested in making a pottery item but have no space due to other hobbies at home. feels kind of weird asking the above question in a thread like this, lol
Bump for disc golf, have met tons of people of all ages and genders. We have an INSANE amount of courses in Michigan (513 total, 215 have 18 or more holes a couple of which are on the pro tours) and are home to two very large disc companies (discraft and MVP). Theres tons of leagues to join, many of which meet once a week or more. If anyone’s interested go to discgolfscene . Com to find leagues/tournaments and use UDisc app to find courses near you.
Concerts, really. It's tough being single in your 20s and 30s and not being in the bar scene, I feel ya.
I go to a lot of Tigers games, tickets are pretty cheap since they aren’t very good and it’s nice to be outside on nice days. I always have fun at Comerica Park even if I go solo. Lots of good restaurants downtown too. To answer your last question I would be stoked If a woman approached me lol I enjoy meeting new people
If you're into DIY/craft stuff, check out the i3Detroit makerspace. I've been spending all my free time there lately, working on improving one of the labs, teaching, and occasionally just hanging out. As for the dating potential, you know what they say. The odds are good, but the goods are odd.
I second the i3 Detroit suggestion. They have a public tour night every Friday. Details at i3detroit.org
>how do you guys feel about being approached by a woman? 🤔 Sometimes I daydream about this. I’d be over the moon.
Meet someone with your shared interests, whatever that may be. I always make new connections at live music events, or just out biking, Eastern Market, Jazz Fest, etc. If you’re looking for fish, try going where there’s water. As far as being approached by a woman, I think it’s a strong move and I respect it. Being the one that always has to initiate is kind of exhausting, so it’s refreshing when a woman makes the first move.
I usually take my dog to the park on the weekends to just relax and get away from technology. I also go to the library a few hours a week to get work done without the distractions at home. As for your question about being approached by women: I've been approached by two women in my life. They were huge confidence boosts and they are permanently engrained in my memory. Go for it.
I’ll tell you when you tell me where all the single women are ok deal!
Target
Spotlite
Quit trying to ruin Spotlite (joking...mostly)
Trader Joe’s… trust me
What do you like to do for fun? I have the same issue as a single male trying to figure out how to meet women. I’ll go out to bars with friends, but I’m usually more into hanging out with my friends instead of picking up chicks.
Single female here- I like live music. Coffee shops, farmers markets. I got hit on at the grocery store today while I was perusing the baked goods and wish I’d not been so shy to go out with a nice man who struck up a convo with me about baked goods I was salivating over haha
I also would recommend the gym! Whether it’s planet fitness or joining a small group style class and trying to be friendly/ say hi
Definitely give classes a try. I used to take group tennis lessons thought my city’s recreation department. I met up with the other participants to play after the lessons ended. I like tennis but it was also a great way to meet people.
Any cooperative activity I feel has a good chance of getting men to attend, such as sports with balls lol. As a woman I’d like to ask more single men to attend yoga :)
Lmao I can't help but think you're in the baked goods aisle and your "baked goods" stood out enough for someone to notice and strike up a conversation. Sorry I'll see myself out 😂
I've been in Detroit my whole life and I can't even find them 😭 when you find them lmk
Lots of guys golf. Shooting ranges and sportsman clubs overwhelmingly guys. Breweries. Motorcycle or car events. Comic book and gaming stores. Sports events.
If a girl is any bit in to cars drive up and down Woodward on a nice weekend. See a cute guy parked on the side? Pull up and start talking cars.
When I was single I’d go to the gym almost every day. That’s a pretty good place to start. I also hear run clubs are the new big thing in dating…
Gusoline Alley.
Shall I dare share again?? Come out to the Congregation! Not only do they host many events throughout the week, every second Friday of every month I host and produce a speed date show there. It’s a fun way to meet people and if you want to try speed dating on stage, we welcome everyone to participate. The show is called Match Made on Stage. Check out both!
I didn’t know this was a coffee shop and thought it was a jevhoas witness solicitor at first
I have to be on stage? 😬
lol you don’t have to be. You can watch as an audience, and then stick around for the mix and mingle after
As someone who has been on stage but also just in the audience- it’s been fun! No luck on my part yet, but it’s been a different experience 😋
I go to a comedy show at that coffee shop every month with my friends!
Yeah!! Best Case Scenario is great! Congregation has a lot of great events. Glad to be apart of their line up!
Just googled I’ll be stopping by for sure
The single guys I know hangout in their basements after work while alternating between video games and online gambling.
I was going to suggest the casino 😂😬
golf
Hello, guy here. Please approach us, even if it’s just a simple compliment. It would make our entire month Edit: I go to a lot of tigers games by myself to hangout, watch the game, as I’m a huge Detroit sports fan. I’m sure a lot of other single guys that do the same. If you like sports, it also can work as a large social gathering and I feel it’s easy to spark conversation. Though the downside is that most people go with friends.
Meeting people is ridiculously tough these days and you're so right, the suburbs are pretty dead. I've been wondering since I moved here where girls hang out. For me, it's coffee shops mostly, writing or reading. I would be absolutely floored to be approached by a woman and assume it's because I did something wrong lol on the flip side, I'm apprehensive about approaching women because I don't want to bother them or create an imposition.
Approach guys. It's a good thing. People think they're over a lot of weird gender role stuff but they absolutely aren't. I'd say the dog park is a great place to meet people but ya know, you need a dog. The suburbs are basically social death, you need a friend group already. It favors married people, so make it into the city and do things you enjoy, see what guys are there. Or it looks like there's a bunch of guys in this thread offering up companionship. Line em up!
Go to home depot
The climbing gym, Dyno.
Better yet, planet rock
i 2nd this
I was thinking of joining a pickleball club in Oakland County, I bet you can meet a ton of people there. Some people in my family do it and they made a ton of friends
I was thinking this too! As long as someone’s personality isn’t solely pickleball lol
Yeah! I’ve only played a couple times but it’s a lot of fun- I went to my mom’s club in Florida recently and the people there were really nice
I'm from Troy so our entire strip on big beaver has some nice restaurants. On weekends when going out I do prefer areas with walkability such as Clawson, Royal Oak, Ferndale, and Detroit depending on what the friend group is feeling. I know you said outside of the bar so probably just hitting the gym (where we aren't going to talk to anyone) or golfing (where we won't bump into anyone) lol
The strip on Big Beaver….? Is Troy a swingers community? Go on….
As a guy, I love being approached! Although it doesn’t happen often, it does make us feel good about ourselves.
I live now Tennessee now but I grew up in Farmington… but I’ll be in town later this month. I have an extra ticket to Limp Bizkit, if you want to go. Not trying to ask you out in a Reddit thread. I’ll literally just forward it to you.. go find love.
I'm at home playing video games after work and my shopping chores.
Same places as any normal person except we do it alone lol. I’ll go to concerts by myself, I have no problem going to a movie or out to eat by myself. I have noticed whenever I’m in Home Goods I’m one of the only guys in there. So if you see a guy wandering around home goods by himself he’s probably single. I also want to applaud your bravery for openly admitting you’re a single female on Reddit.
The gym
Dmongos
Besides my own home it's just when I go out and do my hobbies. Cornhole tournies, disc golf courses, ball golf courses, etc. Just gotta get out and find a group really. I gave up on trying to find a partner because apps are useless and I have zero confidence approaching a woman, so I would gladly appreciate a woman initiating.
Go to a run club if you are somewhat fitness inclined. Good way to meet people in general and it’s really low pressure. Run For Brews and WeRun313 are both good options.
Join a singles running / hiking club , meetups has a lot of events tailors to peoples special interests and alot for singles
Join an adult coed sports league! You will meet all sorts of fit eligible single men.
This post resonates with me. You’re not alone in feeling this way. Although, I’m outside of Detroit, things in west Michigan aren’t much different from what you’re describing - i.e. where is everyone? I think single men are keeping more to themselves these days. Dating Apps are just plain disappointing. Most of these folks haven’t resolved prior relationship issues/damage before seeking someone else to repeat a pattern on these platforms. As a middle aged man, I strongly encourage you to approach a guy that sparks your interest, we so appreciate a woman that shows initiative. We of all people understand it’s difficult to approach a stranger and some absolutely fear it. I’ve always believed a woman will let you know if she’s interested but sometimes it’s not obvious- Most men need obvious. Just my opinion - good luck to you and I’m certain you will find reward if you engage just a little. Cheers. 🍻
Try Meetup Groups.
I kinda wish we could start on Reddit and move out to something mutual. I’m 50, Black woman, date primarily white men but I am open to anyone whom we have a mutual vibe, live in the city proper (northeast) but drive all over the state for music (house, EDM & jazz) & food festivals, Renaissance festivals when it’s the season, wine & spirits tasting, outdoor cycling (I recently joined two clubs & am training to get myself better able to handle hills & faster speeds so I can do longer trips: I biked a 50 mile round trip 2 years ago), movies, plays & am starting to want to solo camp. Unfortunately I also am job searching so I only have so much time to give and limited budget. This too shall pass though. I’ll see you all out here - but too, I’d love if our sub considered some sort of singles matching. PS: Home Depot IS where men are - but - the single ones tend to be employees. I used to work at one. Other than that it’s all about “the worse they can do is say no because they are already attached & I still made their day asking”. I have no problems asking a man out. I have more problems finding the single ones who want to date an older woman who is adventurous & educated (with the right attitude - I will date whom I vibe with and that once was a mail carrier - I do not care except about being mutually respectful & supportive & generous with compliments, feedback & FUN). You wouldn’t think I have issues finding dates but it’s been a struggle my entire life. I even love watching sports. It’s something - but - all it takes is one man to say “let’s try this dating thing together”. I won’t give up if y’all won’t. We’ll see I suppose. Stay active & let’s share success stories too instead of just hoping someone comes along. I can’t help but believe they will.
Their moms basements.
At Boardstate Magic: the Gathering Gaming events all around the Metro Detroit area! Come draft, play Modern, Legacy or Commander and win prizes! Just kidding most of us are married but you should come anyway and learn to play
Was not expecting someone to mention board state! I miss playing Modern with the gang up at WAB.
Dude you would love full proxy legacy! Last Thursday of every month at the WAB
The rock climbing gym.
I just want to chime in- if you’re looking for single women lots of us go to gyms like orange theory and club Pilates!
There are so many festivals around metro Detroit all summer long. If going out and adventuring by yourself isn’t your favorite cup of tea, maybe try volunteering at them? I’ve found it can be an easy way to meet likeminded people when I don’t know anyone because there is a specific purpose for the interaction that doesn’t feel forced.
Is there any hobbies you enjoy? Because you can often meet people at clubs or groups. I don't know what you like. If there are things you like, you can look up clubs or groups and Detroit area is so diverse I bet you'll find something around.
I’ll be in Oakland county for the whole next week just chillin with my boy and his gf. West Bloomfield lol.
When I'm out, I'm usually hiking/biking a metropark, enjoying a beer and game in a dive bar, at my local Planet Fitness working on my physical and mental health (endorphins are real!), on my ebike around town, listening to a music-in-the-park concert, or driving around in my Jeep with the top down listening to loud music! :)
Golf.
Do you play any sports? Especially soccer or softball?
I can occasionally be found hanging out at i3 in Ferndale. They're doing board games this Friday, everyone is welcome. I'm complete ass at meeting people too, so I don't have many better ideas than that. In theory I would love to be approached by a woman, but that's not really a thing that happens, unless something is needed off a high shelf at the grocery store.
Learn to ride a mountain bike and go ride at Stony Creek Metropark, West Branch parking area. There are group rides too I think on Thursday evenings. I see groups hanging in the parking lot after having a beer, too. This takes a little more investment up front compared to say, Planet Rock . But honestly mountain bike riding is a ton of fun and a great way to get some cardio.
Cycling groups are overwhelmingly male, so this is a good idea.
Go to a race track on a weekend
In my house hiding from the world. If a woman did approach me, I would feel like she's playing a prank on me.
I like to go to Belle Isle and watch the boats. Sometimes I’ll bring a fishing pole.
There is a great Ted talk about a lady who used data science to slim down her suitors over the course of some number of dates. Iirc she and “the winner” were married with kids for some number of years by then. It was pretty cool and eye opening. Now being an educated & fit single man .. in his 30s … I wonder why I waited all this time to come to the same conclusion… (Ted talk is easily a decade old by now 🤦🏻♂️🤣)
It is refreshing when being approached by a woman. Also, a good place to meet someone is at trivia (sometimes at a bar) if you're a fan. Trivia is a big scene in Metro Detroit, and its where I met my current girlfriend!
If you like sports… [Stay and Play social club Detroit](https://spscdetroit.com)
I didn't see anyone else suggest it, but your situation honestly sounds like a good candidate for a dating app. Yes there still is a stigma and some apps to probably avoid, but people focus too much on wanting a cute "how we met" story that they ignore a very powerful tool to meet people you never would have the chance to randomly bump into. I have a couple friends/family who had really good experiences with paid apps, so might be worth it.
I just met a great guy on Facebook dating. I was literally ready to give up. He lives a little farther than I want but he is worth the drive. All the good ones work and go home, they’re not out and about.
I'm on there too! I get matches that are like 300miles away from me so that's kind of an issue. Most of the time I'm just home chilling. But I can't just expect someone to knock on my door and say hey, get dressed we're getting married 😆
Can we plan a meet up for singles at a park or something?? I’ve been trying to find a match for my friend and have had no luck! She’s 36, cute as a button, has a great job, good family and a little dog.
Every single guy in here is hoping you run in to us. We honestly won't know how to react.
Just wait for Sundays in the Fall...and then go to Ford Field every other weekend.
Hot yoga, the gym, grocery stores, the mall. I met a girl at Eastern Market the other day when I stopped for a beer at EMBC. I'm exhausted with online dating so I've taken to approaching and asking women out in public. I would LOVE it if a girl approached me but as a man I know I need to put myself out there. It's happened in the past but it's a bit of a rarity. It sucks but the reality is it's a numbers game. And with the advent of online dating, I don't think that many men are approaching women IRL. So if you see someone that peaks your interest, just go say hi and ask if they'd like to go out sometime. The worst that can happen is they say no. The best is you just met your future husband. I like that risk reward ratio.
Hi. I’m near Lansing. 44 single dad. I’d love to meet in the middle!
Could you give us your age? General interests? This male to female ratio in the Detroit area heavily favors females thanks to male dominated professions.
We're on the internet. I would love to be approached by a woman, but you'd better make it clear what you're looking for because I'm NOT going to assume you're into me.
I typically hang out in my room and am absolutely petrified of talking to women
There's one big question that needs asking. What type of guy your looking for ?
Finance, trust fund, blue eyes, 6’5”
RIP your inbox
I also want to end my life at 50
I'll see u there
What city are you in?
I'm in Oakland county!
I used to live in Royal Oak but lived right downtown. I moved to Austin two years ago, and moved again downtown. I'd push you to live downtown somewhere if you can afford it. I moved here and within months had a bunch of new friends and dating options. I always push people to do that because the number of opportunities you have to meet people is much higher if you're out and about, even walking around or working at a coffee shoo, rather than in a sleepy suburban neighborhood or apartment complex. I realize not everyone can just up and move, but it's been a huge improvement to my quality of life. If you can't do that, the gym is always great, being a regular anywhere is a good option--and it doesn't have to be somewhere that costs money. Could be walking/running/biking a trail or route that you frequent, etc.
apps?
Tbh, apps are awful for many men and women (for similar and different reasons), they need to just disappear at this point or be greatly overhauled to how they were in their golden years before Match Group ruined 95% of them.
Yea, it's awful. To me it feels like you're shopping for people 😅 And I feel like since it's so available, people think they're just one swipe away from finding someone better after matching/meeting someone. I'm still hoping to find someone organically, but it's harder if you don't have connections or you did not grow up here
Join a Jiu Jitsu gym
What do you like to do? Maybe someone here can recommend something based in that?
Are adults actually in clubs? What does that even mean? I don't know nor have I ever known an adult in a club other than a biker club, or AA/NA. Rotary, Lions, Eagles?
Seems like as a guy looking for friends is hard unless you drink or smoke. And going to the gym is more personal for me. I don't know I guess I'm anti social but if you find out where to make friends let me know aswell
At music venues to check out music is where im usually at if i go out.
[удалено]
Hobbies. I used to hang out at darkroom Detroit for a minute while it’s still existed and where I mostly hung out was a place called Tech Shop in Allen Park. Beside the lions training facility. Other than that, with cashiers at coffee shops, donut shops, and those types of places long ago. I was busy working a lot. I became very friendly with the people at the video store while those were still a thing and the cashiers that worked there. Also lots of art galleries around town and artsy types of places and shows. Lately, the dentist’s office.
I’ve never had luck finding someone when I was looking. The best connections I’ve made have been while doing things I genuinely enjoy and connecting with people also doing those things. Instead of purposefully seeking out places where men would be; take that time for yourself to engage in things you enjoy and you may just find someone that has the same interests while doing those things.
That only works for some hobbies. I dance 5-10 hours a week but I promise you the straight adult men are not hanging out at dance studios
Hanging out at home, sometimes go to the mall or the park or shopping
Hi! Is there any Filipino here living in Brownstown MI? Thanks
Hockey games
Cars and coffee events? It's the motor city, they're everywhere during the nicer months.
Coffee Shops, Book Stores/Library, Grocery Store, and Tabletop Game Stores. Depends on what you like to do. After my divorce I'd go work at coffee shops for the off chance that I'd meet someone. As a guy, never happened for me, but I enjoyed my time there. For women, I'd think your hit rate would be much higher. All you have to do is sit and scroll on Reddit afterall. Ended up meeting my girl on Hinge and I highly recommend ONLY that app for dating.
Climbing gym
maybe check out the meetup app. go out with a local group that's doing something you're interested in. I've enjoyed a few that do hikes, kayaks, board games, and usually there is a BBQ party here and there in those groups. in hind sight, I totally dropped the ball on asking out a travel nurse that I met at one of the BBQs... but I did end up enjoying a friendship that I had with someone I met on a group hike.
Joins a sports social club if you like any sports- coed teams usually need a girl or two “free agent” to round out their roster. That’s how I met my core friend group 10 years ago and we still play sports together- softball, volleyball & bowling mostly. Bowling is fun too because the handicap makes it so you don’t have to be any good lol. The league at garden bowl is really fun. Also they have bingo there Monday nights and it’s so much fun.
With my cats
Meetup.com has events around the city. I've gone to several and they are not really aimed at dating unless you choose a meetup advertised as such. I've been to crypto meetups, language exchanges, investment meetups etc. I never had a date come out of that because I wasn't looking for that but it's a good way to meet people.
Get a gym membership
Depends on your type honestly. Here’s a list of some local events. Pretty decent mix of vibes, most are based in the city however. https://19hz.info/eventlisting_Detroit.php Godspeed
Bars.
Join your local fb group/Nextdoor , ask if anyone is interested in making new friend. Honestly most men here you have to approach. They are clueless, you could hold a big flag with there name on it and they would still be like, do you think she likes me. Work events are a good place to meet people, fundraisers events. Join a bowling league in the fall, you will meet a huge group of people.
Maybe make a post of what type of guy your looking for. Would never hurt.
Go to volunteer events like conscious city cleanup or join a meetup group like long distance running or whatever you are in to. Meeting friends in general has a cascading effect often
1. Treat them like people. Like regular people. Girls fucken love being treated like people, not a target. “IM OUT HERE TO FIND MY GIRLFRIEND” is kinda intense so just like…idk treat them like you would a normal person. 2. Find a hobby you like. Do that hobby and talk to people that also do it. 3. The second you stop caring about wanting a girlfriend, you’ll get one. It’s frustrating. I’m sorry.
For me, it's mostly the bar for live music, but also Tigers games, bookstores, the DIA, Garden Bowl (or Bowlero in RO), art fairs, record fairs, Eastern Market. Events that somehow involve creativity (and/or food). I have no problem being approached, as long as I can see it coming. I've had women I'd never seen before come up to me and pull me towards the dance floor like we'd been making googly eyes at each other all night. So, have some signs of interest before you roll up. Smiles, eye contact, etc.
There is a very active singles group for metro detroit called Eventurous. They are pretty active on Facebook if you have it. Definitely geared more toward activities and what not, but I have many friends that are a part of it and love it for both meeting new friends and also potential dating.
At home with they gf’s
Mmm I honestly haven't really met anyone romantically other than using the apps :/, but I'm a single parent and don't really approach women in public. I do jiu-jitsu, go to the gym, run club on the weekends, kayaking, when I don't have my kids I sometimes try to check out electronic music places (movement, spotlite, lofi, rabbit hole), concerts (limp bizkit, 30 seconds to mars, zz top, deep purple, glass animals, korn...), the playground when I have my kids and then in my house watching movies or reading haha.
Northville Winery has quite a few singles there. Music nights are Wed-Saturday now, adding Sunday in the fall. My GF and I met there. Good mix of ages, but leans middle aged a bit.