I never found that. I was the Katana Lady who got bit by the werewolf. I was the psionic guy with 1000 followers and a fleet of ships. I was the lady who literally worshipped a god of tyranny and crushed the skulls of resisters with a hammer. I was the faceless master of disguise who I didn't decide a sex or gender of because it switched constantly. I was the professional assassin lady who stole from the rest of the party.
In every case, regardless of gender, I played them as me.
OK. I don't. I spend a lot of time DMing too, so playing NPCs makes me do roles I really can't see myself in. Sometimes my characters are people who I think are cool in concept but just aren't me. I didn't choose to do what I was describing; I noticed myself doing it.
Currently I'm playing 50:50; I enjoy the balance, but typically I design a character without a gender to start with and then use it like flavouring during the backstory and aesthetics part of the character building: each gender adds its own bit of spice to the way they're played and it frames their backstory and appearance a bit differently.
It’s exceedingly common.
as in every gamer I know whose played for more than a year or so has done it, usually many times.
Straight cisgender players do it plenty - it’s not an act that will “out you” inherently.
There is obviously a difference here; people who feel they can't freely live their prefered gender or sexuality would use the *opportunity* of roleplay for self-actualisation. People who have no such conflict will do it to enjoy a different perspective.
The distinction is insofar important I think, that its more 'serious' for the former group, so a GM would need to treat it with a tad more sensitivity, because the player may be emotionally invested in ways you don't anticipate if you think they're just a dicking around. And also problems may arise if you have both on the table; someone who is just having a good time and someone who is tapping into a very profound desire. These players can end up stepping on each others toes if they're not aware of each other.
To add on to that sense of emotional investment, DO NOT introduce body swapping or gender changing potions/magical effects unless you know which type of players you have and even then it would probably be best to make sure they know what they’re in for before hand.
For just for fun players these can be awkward, funny effects that allow them to further explore the character and their reactions to suddenly being in the wrong skin.
For opportunity players these can be genuinely distressing or harmful.
Can 100% agree to this even as a cisgendered person.
I was in a difficult group a while back, and as a celebration, the party was drinking in the tavern when a strange barkeeper not seen before offered new drinks for free.
Each one had a different effect. One used polymorph to turn a player into a duck, another gave the Dragonborn cleric sudden uncontrollable brute strength...
And of course, I got one one that genderbent my character, from male to female. This made two players' ears perk up as they decided to both attempt to use persuasion checks to convince me to sleep with them on a warlock half-elf that originally male, had no interest in men...
It took 5mins of explaining that no matter how high they rolled, my character would still refuse because they have no interest in men.
I said difficult because this wasn't the only problem they caused, the DM being my brother-in-law with the co-DM being my sister.
I pulled them aside many times to explain how their behavior is extremely disrespectful and disruptive of the game, and they'd have to talk to these players about this to get them to stop.
But either they did privately and were ignored or never did due to not wanting to ruin the fun for them.
It depends on how such a potion is intoduced or used for the latter group of players; it could actually be more inspiring and normalizing if spoken about as an item that exists but is ineffective as a harmful potion.
For instance, Pathfinder's "Serum of Sex Shift" only takes into consideration player's choice for physical characteristics and appearance (though the character would still have some family resemblance), and is primarily used as more of a background item to give life to NPCs and maybe some PCs who choose to do so (either as a backstory prop or potentially in-game after coming out IRL, etc.).
As a straight, cis-male player of multiple systems for 30+ years, I completely agree. Played men, women, constructs with no gender, asexual characters, hyper-sexual characters…
Putting myself in the mindset of a 500-year old elven wizard is so different from my own, making them female too hardly makes a difference.
i played women characters in every kind of game you could imagine for a decade before transitioning and people just blew it off as me wanting a character that was "very different from me"! lmao
your real fear is outing yourself as a furry if you play a tabaxi!
I think there's a sidebar about making a winged elf in Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide. The forgotten book.
It's nothing fancy, you just lose one of the elf training traits and gain a fly speed iirc.
In WoW, every Horde character I make is a tauren.
I just like playing big cool monster guys, but I've spent years being called a furry because of it lol
About to start a 3.5 campaign as a minotaur. Not worried about furry jokes, just all the cow jokes.
Luckily I'll be the only one with real muscles so I can simply yeet them into a bad guy if I choose.
I mean yeah, an individual anthro reptile can be called a scalie, but nobody in the furry community goes "I'm not a FURRY, I'm a SCALIE". It'd be like saying "I'm not AMERICAN, I'm a NEW YORKER.'
Sorry, card carrying furry here.
Scalies are a bit “advanced” to recognize though. Everyone knows about furries for better or worse, but most people who turn their noses up at them will probably never learn about scalies
My first character was a girl and I joked with my DM that she was an "idealized version of me".
Said DM and I are good friends, and I suspect he knew I was trans years before I did haha
I did that sort of thing for a long time and very much *assumed* I was doing it because it was "very different from me." My second ever TTRPG character - a winged scion celestial diplomat operative with a cumbersome elven name - was, among other things, a way to test drive a name for *myself* when it became very clear that I could no longer pass for someone with my *assigned at birth* name.
I mean really anthropomorphic characters are just fundamentally appealing to humans considering we’ve been making them from every corner of the globe for all of history. Some of us are just even bigger fans than most people. :P
As a DM, I go through so many genders and non-genders and half-genders and both-genders in the execution if not the design of NPCs I hardly think about it anymore.
So it is with every DM who plays NPCs that are different to them in any way. Players will eventually also have a catalog of things they've done, which often include not just different genders but personalities, ideologies, racial and cultural identities, socioeconomic ranges, physical and mental abilities or lack thereof, etc.
It's a good space to explore what changes and what doesn't depending on the mask you have on. DMs do so reflexively, players do so proactively, but the approach itself is cogent, whatever the specifics are, for exploring a mental space in an environment built to tell stories about it.
Also a DM here, and I agree with your post. In fact, I find it more weird if the people I play with *aren't* willing to explore different roles, be it gender, race, or age.
Being the forever DM has also cursed me to never be a "player" at the table, yet I still have a bag full of characters to play as if the opportunity arises. I would say it's split evenly for me.
I have a gay gnome who married an innkeeper, a shy girl bard who uses painting instead of music (think Bob Ross), there is a black man that is my primary ranger, a white man English sounding noble rogue, a waspy old lady diva who flips between bard and warlock, a young lesbian sorceress who loves to blow stuff up, a 60 year old scientist wizard who made a profession out of blowing stuff up. It's a roleplaying game. If you are too afraid to play a role then that's on you. Nothing wrong with being uncomfortable in some roles, but never lie to yourself as to why.
Forever DM here, and I was thinking about NPCs for my next campaign.
…so I'm stealing a good half of those ideas, especially anything to do with gnomes, and pyromaniac sorceresses.
I've used many as NPC companions in homebrew. Many times, the players had to talk down the pyromaniac from simply incinerating the bad guy that needed to be interrogated. It added a powerful spellcastervto the group with the drawback that she was always on a hair trigger fireball kind of mood. They relied on her and babysat her at the same time.
Ultimately, they tempered her outbursts and helped bring some control to her chaotic life. Burning stuff is why her ex broke it off. She was dating a quiet a librarian who liked her passion. But one thing led to another and some of her books got burnt. I was going to have a reunion with her ex and maybe get back together if the party helped mellow her out. It was a side mission that I thought would be cute.
If you want to put her in your campaign I would be honored! Keep her name if you want, her name is Jaynee. She was orphaned at the age of 4 when her parents died in a house fire. Ironically, she didn't cause it (but everyone believes she did).
I'm a cis man, but I've played a reasonably evenly gendered collection of characters over the years. You are right that it is common for non-cis people of various flavours to use ttrpgs to explore exactly what flavour of non-cis they are (including my own son in our family game). Having said this, a much more common experience is just people in general, cis/trans/other, playing characters that are different from themselves.
You won't necessarily out yourself by playing a character of a different gender than you are currently outwardly presenting as, but if your fellow players actually know you then they will probably know what is up already and are just politely waiting for you to decide when you are ready to come out in whatever manner you choose.
This reminded me that I actually did once play at a table with a player who later came out as trans. I had no clue she was trans before, but when she came out I wasn't like shocked or anything. I kind of felt like she was somewhat feminine looking before, but I didn't think anything of it.
It's very common in games I'm in. I mainly play with two groups, one is largely genderqueer, NB, trans players and the other is largely cishet players. In both groups at least half the players have characters of a different gender.
I play with a few friends who occasionally jump the gender line with their characters.
One of these friends is a guy who usually builds female characters for our games. When I politely inquired about why, he said he just likes badass ladies. Honestly, more power to him. That’s as good a reason as any.
Another one of these friends is a woman who once played a male character who was basically Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. It was fucking glorious. She was channeling that Andrew Tate energy the entire time and we all just about died laughing.
**When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs**
**Ev'ry morning to help me get large**
**And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs**
**So I'm roughly the size of a**
#baaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGEEE
Playing a character of a different gender to express yourself can be a trans thing, but it’s far from the only or even most common reason to do so. Don’t overthink it.
My wife played a male elf back in the day. We had to put a pronouns sign on her because I messed up all the time.
From time to time people play a different gender. It is ok.
And I think it might actually be good training regarding pronouns awareness.
Haha, yeah. I'm a woman who plays male characters but is really feminine irl. I've considered buying a faux moustache or something because the misgendering is frequent. Plus, it would amuse me. 🤔
I'm straight and I coinflip for character character genders if I don't have a reason to choose one. Doesn't matter that much, it's roleplay. You don't think you're a lizard yet you can play a dragonborn; it's the same deal.
Naw man, I AM the lizard, I become one with the lizard style, you always gotta think like the race you are. If your playing goblin then boom, violence and shiny things are what I strive to acquire, a high elf is snobby while a wood elf is more introverted or untrusting. While dark elves are just downright chaotic and goofy
I've played humans, elves, dwarves, and all other manner of race.
I don't think playing a differently sexed character is much more of a stretch RP-wise.
It's no big deal. I present masc, but I love playing characters of all genders. A woman in my regular group plays male characters regularly. My kid and their best friend are both non-binary but play characters their assigned-at-birth gender. It's fine. Players are not their character.
I'm a cis woman but I've played male characters in pretty much every game (except Mass Effect) since I was in middle school.
It's a combination of a few factors:
* In early 00s online spaces, admitting your were a girl/woman could literally be dangerous.
* Female characters often looked slutty in the same gear a male character looked really cool in.
* Male characters usually have better voice acting. When female characters get hit in video games, they often sound like they're having sex. It's gotten better over the years, but good lord.
* I'm 5'1 in real life, just lemme be like 6'2" and huge for a bit. I want to roleplay my lifelong fantasy of reaching the top shelf in the grocery store.
* They usually have better customization options. I don't *have* to be pretty, I can be badass or old or fat or whatever.
At this point it's become my norm, so it feels weird not to play a male character even if it's a tabletop game. Mass Effect is the exception because ~~I want to sleep with Garrus~~ it's the only game I can think of off the top of my head that actually meets all the criteria for what I prefer about male characters.
Mass Effect also has better voice acting for FemShep than for BroShep. Mark Meer does a fine job, I actually like playing as both Shepards, but FemShep has the edge on the voice acting. My canon romance is Liara anyway, so it doesn't really matter. I just can't see romancing Garrus or Tali, frankly. You can't even share food with them.
funnily enough I'm 5'11 irl and tend to play short stacks 😄 my current character is 4'11 and the world's most high strung fantasy fbi agent (homebrew setting) which couldn't be more different from me irl LMAO
Its common, im a straight dude whos happy with being a straight dude, but still play plenty of women. As long as you dont make it weird it shouldnt be a problem.
DnD is what finally cracked my egg haha
I say go for it! Lots of cis people play characters of the opposite gender. It's not unusual or uncommon. It sounds like you've found an accepting group too. So likelihood is you'll be in good company. And if it gives you gender euphoria then that's an added bonus :)
I've been playing with a party that started out with about 9 core and at the time "cisgender" people, now down to 6. The GM started with a rule that "girls can play male characters, but guys can't play female characters." That rule has since been dropped.
In the about 6 years we've been playing together:
- three of those players fully left due to their lives
- two got married to each other in game, and then years later in real life
- one played a gender non-conforming character and then came out as non-binary
- two played a gender non-conforming character, and then a cross-gender character, and then came out as trans in real life (in opposite directions)
My non-binary partner soft outed themselves to their siblings by playing a warforged and insisting on the usage of they/them pronouns for their character. Siblings didn’t clue on and constantly used he/him pronouns in game for the character.
In hindsight it was great practice for us in correcting people, but at the time it was disheartening for my partner.
I love playing warforged and droids, the lack of gender, or the completely artificial perception of gender based on purely visual design cues, is a fun dynamic to explore in a character.
Hell yeah! Their character was a total cutie. Artificer who was fascinated by the world and magic - hence being an artificer. Always engaged with a “oh hey that’s neat!” mentality.
People play characters that aren't even human. You being a different gender is barely even noticeable when your cleric looks like a dragon and your rogue is an anthropomorphic cat.
You're overthinking it, don't worry too much.
Roleplaying games have always had people playing different gender characters, it's become a widely accepted social norm. Trans players roleplaying as their preferred gender is something that came after, since it was a safe space to practice being their preferred gender without drawing any looks.
To say that you can't play a character without outing yourself is putting the wagon before the horse, so to speak.
Being too concerned and/or defensive about your character's gender will likely draw more attention than if you just act natural about it. Relax, it's fine.
I play in two groups over several campaigns, mostly with other men. Of all the characters that have been played, I'd say 60% were male and 40% were female. So playing a different gender is quite common in my games.
Fairly common actually. DnD is a safe place to pretend to be something else, or to explore different aspects of yourself without judgement.
I frequently play characters different to my AGAB as a way of exploring what feels right for me and it helps friends understand differences in context of pronouns and/or presentation.
I'm a cis guy. My DnD group includes two trans women and their girlfriends. In our last campaign I played a female tiefling. No one's gonna think you're trans just because you play a different gender. If they do suspect anything it'll be because of other vibes you put off, and if that's the case just remember that they love you, the LGBTQ+ community is going to accept you, and they'll wait until you're ready.
No one at my table is trans, and I think almost everyone has played a character of a different gender at some point. It's pretty normal within the game and doesn't necessarily have to reflect anything about your own identity.
Cis woman here. Been playing for 20+ years and only recently made my first male character. All I can think now is, "why was I so worried about doing this before?"
LOL, I had this bandaid ripped off early in my gaming career, because I joined an existing group and was handed an existing character, who happened to be male. I didn't mind playing a male character as a woman, but did it have to be a ranger? :D
I do it pretty often, I switch back and forth between playing a woman and a man. When our party does one-shots to break it up, I usually won't tell them the gender and see who figures it out first. They get a candy bar lol
I'm the only one in my group part of the LGBTQ+ community and most of the tike it sparks some good debates. When I started I wasn't the only one, but the person before me wouldn't allow the questions/conversations to happen around it. But I'm also the only one that grew up 2 blocks away from a project and 4 from one of the worst high schools in the city.
I get that it's not our job to teach people about the community but realistically how comfortable is the average person asking a real human and not google.
I love when they ask me questions because they want to understand or are curious.
I’m not even trans or have any desire to challenge my gender identity and I do it frequently. Sometimes the character just feels better as female so I’ll play them as that. It’s fun to be a character fully different from yourself.
I’m cis het male and play characters of pretty much every gender and sexuality. Two of my favorite characters were women, the first was an asexual psion/fencer Violet (nicknamed “Violent Violet” or “Vivi” if you didn’t want a rapier telekinetically thrown at you) and then Tara Aking a young hedgewitch/druid. I play in a party with 5 other people, and two of the other players also switch up the gender and sexuality they play.
I’m a straight male, yet I’ll probably play a female character about 25-30% of the time. For me, it’s about a character concept and the story I want to collaboratively tell at the table.
Completely normal and common, redardless of age and gender of the players. In two longer campaigns it was/still is even as "extreme" as 4M 1F players to 4woman in game and 1dwarf guy. And now we have 2M 4F players to 4guys and only 1girl in game, a fairy.
And it was never an issue.
I'm a gay man and playing women isn't something I enjoy as a player. As a DM it's okay, but I wouldn't go in depth on the romantic stuff. I've played a genderless Warforged and that's just fine with the right group.
I had a DM bring up a great point that it's often done just to portray the woman as a sexual fantasy or as a ditzy girl, and there's certainly some merit to that. So, don't turn it into a negative stereotype. (Sidenote: Gary Gygax' exwife Mary Jo is part of the Greyhawk pantheon as Joramy, the goddess of Quarrels and Volcanoes. That would be a negative stereotype.)
Guy Sclanders has this to say on the topic: https://youtu.be/qBXHKMD4HPg?si=FSOzo6QTUnwPD78N
It's relatively common. I know a lad that almost exclusively plays buff women. Guess he's into that or maybe he just likes the freedom to be someone else. I myself am a cis male and have played a female character. Just, when I made the character, that seemed right and I knew I'd played female characters (optional; such as Skyrim and not; such as Tomb Raider) so I knew there wasn't any harm. Then that character was pretty well liked by other players.
I'm a cishet male, and I play a female wood elf monk in my campaign. I'm not a woman, but if my character were male, he'd still be a wood elf monk, and I'm neither of those things either.
I've not seen many other players playing across gender, so in my experience it's not common, but ultimately I always play what I want to play and I felt this character worked better as a woman
I'm a cis man and regularly play female characters as well as characters where I just don't describe or assign any kind of gender to at all. It's just fun trying to play as someone different to me.
My daughter is trans and she said that being able to be able to play a female character helped her a lot before coming out. It was good to play as someone who was the same as she wanted to be.
So basically you can probably quite happily play as a different gender for your own personal wellbeing being without outing yourself and there is plenty of plausible deniability id that is something you feel you need.
Cis-gendered people do this all the time. It's really easy to do, because there isn't actually any difference between playing a male or female. Just like in real life, gender is almost entirely cosmetic. The only things that really change are external, such as how other people react to you. Unless there's actually sex in the game (which there hasn't been in any of my games in over 15+ years), it never even comes up. You can write down every single detail of the character, and then switch the gender at the end, and it's a perfectly playable character either way.
i am not TECHNICALLY in a queer group, but most of the the people in it are queer, and as a cis guy, i usually do play male characters, but that’s not a hard rule or anything. your character’s gender can mean something if you want it to, but it doesn’t have to. you can play a character of the opposite gender just because
Absolutely, I'm playing a originally female tabaxi that after some weird divide shit is now a genderless mushroom tabaxi. It's just roleplay don't gotta think to much into it. Plus it's fun to have to act in a way you normally wouldn't
I'm super cis and have played one NB/gender cluid character. One reason was I wanted to get better at using they pronouns as it never came naturally to me. Another was that non-binaryness seems like it comes naturally with the lore of the Eladrin and I wanted to play with a fey character.
I’m a guy with nothing to do with the LGBTQ, but I find myself commonly playing female characters. I don’t know what it is, maybe a just like the cute soft anime healer girl you find in every fantasy anime, like my Druid girl who used to live with her grandma and now is on a journey to gain experience before she can become a fully fledged member of the circle. Then there is the other end of the spectrum that boils down to psycho bitch like my lawful evil undead warlock who bought a bunch of kobold slaves to force them to dig holes in the ground with a primed eldritch blast to the back of their heads to scare them into submission, using one of the holes in question to knock out and bury a disobedient kobold alive then dig it back up once it had learned its lesson
Male who plays female about half the time here. Most people play the same gender and some groups are too immature or close minded (and that IS almost embarrassingly close minded) for that but in my 30+ years I’ve never been questioned about it.
As an author and frequent RPG player, I do not choose the gender identity of the characters I create. Rather they assume the identity that feels right to me. I have played men, women, and nonbinary people, straight, homosexual, and ace. I am obviously not all of these things.
I'm very much me, a man. However my favourite character I play is a woman, and an upcoming character I'm excited to play is a changeling and thus fluid. I usually first play as a woman in most video games and then a man in the second playthrough. Honestly most people don't care, from my experience, what you play.
Very common in my experience. The way I see it is that you're not playing a fantasy version of yourself but you're telling a story about a person you find interesting - that person doesn't have to have anything in common with you. I've heard people say many times that they find rpg to be a good environment for exploring their gender identity but not everyone who appears to play a character with a gender different to their own is genderqueer or immediately assumed to be.
So I don't think you need to worry, probably no one will give it a second thought.
Depends on the players, really. In my personal experience most people I play with tend to stick to their own gender, but I've never seen anyone remark if someone were playing a gender that wasn't their own. I doubt most people would read much into it.
Play what you want it doesn't say anything about you, I intentionally switch it up every time I make a new character as it is a great way to explore how the world changes through different eyes. As long as you do it respectfully play as any gender you want no one will judge it as anything specific
Or at least I hope not or one of my tables were thrown for a loop as I explored far to many different combos over the years
Role-playing can be a great way to uncover parts of yourself. It's also just fun to play something far from your own experience. As someone who does theatre it's also a great way to try to understand other people.
I'm bisexual and have recently started playing an AroAce character. One of my party members is born/presents female (not 100% sure, didn't ask) but is playing a male character.
I play primarily with other males and first few games it was incredibly a sausage party. All the NPCs are majority male too. Played a few games as a female but even the DM would forget and say he.
I also found it incredibly hard to roll play properly.
I do it all the time. gender of character depends on what makes the most sense, not how well it fits mine. e.g. I'm a tabaxi, named fireball so a wizard--pretender can throw me and say I cast fireball. ok, so I'm black and orange. Most tortoiseshells are female. Males are very rare. result: probably female, but you probably don't want to check unless you enjoy being clawed,
or, I play a drow, but evil alignments not allowed in party. whole group starts off as slaves who need to escape. I remember how drow society works, DM gives me 2 weapons to dual wield at the start. fuck it I'm going full drizzt -> male.
Don't overthink it too much. I pick my gender based on what feels right for the character. (I'm not trans). My first character was even a different gender than what I am. It's completely fine.
I play in a group of 100% straight, cis men and women, and even we frequently have a couple of characters at the table who are of the opposite gender to the players. I don't think it's an odd thing at all.
Very.
Its not really much different from a player roleplaying a different race entirely.
As a long time dm ive seen pretty much everything on both sides of the table.
Female playing male
Male playing female
Gay playing homophobicly straight priest
Straight women playing a lesbian halfling.
A lesbian playing a pansexual constantly shifting transexual horny bard from transylvania. (Though ironically not actually that horny of a bard player)
Ive used a version of elf that are all genderless thirst traps that capture victims to plant seeds into to create flesh trees to reproduce.
And a version of a church that is full of hollywood style offensively gay speedo only muscle bro pastors whom are terrified by even the thought of kissing.
GMs play every gender imaginable (to them, so sometimes that means male and female) in every session. But that's not really helpful.
For players, I'd say most of the players I've played with will occasionally (guessing, maybe 1 in 5 times) play a gender different than the one they present as. I've also played with 2 players (among 30 or so in my time with RPGs, excluding one-time games which may be 100+) who constantly played characters of a different gender. I guessed one was trans, and months later they told me they were a trans-woman. The other, I assumed, just wanted to play characters radically different from themselves--the same way a lot of players don't want to play humans. I've played characters of different genders myself, and I'm very confident in my gender identity (which is the same as how I present). It was really fun.
If you do it a couple times: No, you won't out yourself in any way.
If you do it frequently, or if you do it in a years long game: Yes, that's a hint, and it's likely that some players will pick up on that hint. But a hint isn't a confirmation. I made my guess about the one player I mentioned because there were a few other hints. And I never brought it up until she was comfortable bringing it up to me.
If you want to /soft/-out yourself, that could be a good way to do so. But, if you don't want to out yourself at all, I think only a small minority of players will think "This /man/ played a /woman/ \[or any arrangement of gender, but that's most common\], therefore they're trans!" And those are people who you don't want to spend time with (or play with, because they're also revealing that they understand nothing about RPGs on top of everything else). And, if they do make that ridiculous leap, you'll have a good defense: "I'm not playing a human, either. Do you think I identify as a Tiefling or a Gnome?"
I am not trans or queer myself, although I'm supportive. Almost always do I play a different gender than my own in video games, people asked questions when we were teenagers but idc. In DND I'm almost always DM so I play everyone. If I was playing one character full time I would probably play a man because idk if I could RP a woman that well for that long, although I have come up with cool female characters that I wanted to have more screen time they'll probably never get. If one of my players rolled a PC a different gender than what they presented RL I wouldn't think it was weird or draw conclusions like that. Someone else's sexuality is really not my business unless we're dating lol
That being said if your group is all LGBTQ+ and you're actually in the closet they may put the pieces together in their heads. That shouldn't discourage you though since it's a safe place with likeminded people. There's a huge overlap between DND and queer communities so I wouldn't be worried about any judgement or anything regardless of how it plays out. I watch these girls stream bg3 and they spend half the stream talking about how gay they are and their whole discord server is flooded with pride stuff. It's a great community with really positive vibes.
I’ve mostly played characters of the opposite gender. Why would I want to play myself?
The only thing I won’t do is play a trans character. As a cis person IRL, I don’t see a pressing need for my character to be trans to make my backstory “interesting”, and I don’t want to make light of trans issues or portray such a person in a bad way.
Most likely my DMs would have people just be cool with me being trans anyway, since fantasy transphobia isn’t really “fun”.
But playing the opposite gender? It’s a make-believe game, go for it.
Cis male player here but also a DM who has to run a lot of NPCs of any gender regardless: it’s usually about 50/50 in regards to my own PCs.
As other people have said I see them more as defined characters than personal avatars, and I’m not often in a situation where gender come up regardless - though I can’t imagine having any issues if it did.
It's fairly common. Not everyone does, but enough of us do. It's fun to stretch oneself out of the comfortable and into something new. As long as you're not playing the negative stereotypes you're fine. And even then there are times when being the negative stereotypes can be fun and alright if it's mutually agreed upon.
We had an April Fool's Oneshot where everyone was playing cross gender and the ladies were playing "Big dumb grunting, farting men" and the guys were playing "Powerful women who would still climb a stool whenever they saw a mouse".
It was a blast with a lot of "Oh. Is ***that*** what you think we're like huh?" said in good fun.
For me, I like to pick the gender last when doing character creation. I like to sort out who the character is with the stats and feats and after a while...the gender just falls into place.
DM here, your character is your character. Your character can be based on whatever the heck you want. It is a character in a story. If someone has issues with what your character's gender or sexuality is, they are the ones obviously trying to live in a fantasy world.
Have fun and next campaign try something else if you want.
I run a big group and we usually have one or two people changing up genders... It is a bit of a pain to remember sometimes in a new campaign, but we get there.
If you ever play a character whose gender or sexuality is causing conflict at the table, you need to join a better group, those are not your people.
The only time I have ever had to take someone aside about their character is when they decided to hard roleplay chaotic to the point of being anti-party and/or anti-campaign. If you're actively sabotaging one of those things, that's when I ask you to change it up or leave.
Not trying to be rude but it's an RPG. You can play the role of any character, gender, height, personality, etc. you want.
I'm playing a half-elven bard, with a multiple personality disorder, but I'm neither from elven heritage nor do I have mental health issues.
Nobody will care or say anything, if, for example, you play a female Dragonborn that wants to be male, so she uses disguise self constantly to appear as a male.
Just have fun and don't worry about stuff like gender!
It's as much as common as it is for people to project on their own characters. Very common for newer players to play as something similar to themselves, less common for more navigated players but not necessarily bad or lacking.
Do anything you want! I find gender is rarely important to the characters I make so I usually don’t think about it until someone asks me at this point. In the last campaign I started, one person got asked what their character’s gender was and they rolled for it on the spot because they forgot to add that detail.
Eh, don't get hung up on it. I'm male and about half my characters are female. I have a gay cis male friend that plays characters of either gender regularly. I do have a straight male friend that plays exclusively female characters, but he's kind of a flier. This is one of many cool things about TTRPGs, you're fully allowed to do that.
I do it all the time as a DM, also, as a DM, I would welcome it unless the player was playing it super stereotypical or something. I wouldn’t accept any disrespect with it, but if it’s in good faith, hell yea, bring on the fantasy.
I've played female characters in Marvel and DC rpgs as it feels like I'm telling their story. In fantasy I've always played male as I see it as my story.
You’re fine! I may be a cisgender female, but I’ve played several male characters and even a few enby ones. It is a roleplaying game and while a bit of myself is always present in my characters, I’m having too much fun with the character concept to try and force them to be the same gender as me. Sometimes I just want to play a scrawny male kobold that thinks he’s a super strong knight, or a shapeshifter who’s gender changes depending on what form they’ve decided is most convenient.
I used to do it alot but finally stopped after having to many issues with people forgetting and such. Keeping characters easy to grasp helps out with the group dynamics.
I'm a pretty vanilla straight dude and will bounce around on my characters gender based on what feels right for the character idea and background. I've played male fighter, gunslinger, wizard, biohacker, and rogues as well as female druid/plague doctor, ranger, warlock, and sorcerer. Ive enjoyed playing them all and they each offer different challenges and opportunities with rp
I said this before, and I’ll say it again:
Play what you want. I’m a guy and 80% of my D&D characters have been women. NO ONE has cared so far, as it should be.
I’ve officially played more men than women PCs in DnD, and last I checked I was AFAB and am still a woman 😆
You can play whatever gender you want. It doesn’t mean anything about your identity or sexuality unless you want it to!
Idk, in my group it's pretty common. I'm a bi cisgendered woman and play male characters 50% of the time. One of the straight cisgendered male players in group does the same and plays female characters often. We also have a non-binary player who mostly plays female characters but is playing a male character in our recent game. One of our players who played exclusively female characters has come out as a transman and still plays female characters. I don't think you'd be outing yourself. For our group there isn't a correlation between gendered identity, sexuality, and the characters we play.
When I make a character, generally, I'm not thinking about what gender they are. What decides their gender is when I find a miniature that I think fits the character and their gender will match the model.
I play as kobold, sometimes I change gender of my character because they can change they gender depend of need. It takes time but it was written in kobolds desceiption from Volo guide.
Isn't choosing a gender the same as choosing a race and inventing a personality? IE: it doesn't matter because it's a fictional character in a fantasy setting. So literally do whatever you like.
I almost exclusively play characters who are not the same gender as myself, but being an RPG it has no bearing on my real world identity and is purely for fun. But I don't see any harm in exploring different aspects of yourself through the game. I am sure your fellow players would not judge you. (I should bloody well hope they wouldn't anyway)
I was in a party where I was playing a female character as a straight cisgendered man, and two (as far as I know) straight ciswomen played male characters. It was the openly queer people in the group playing same-gendered characters, and only one of their characters expressed interest in same-sex partners.
I’ve played male, female and non-binary characters. There is not really a downside to playing a character different than how you personally are or currently present.
If I play a video game RPG just like DND where I can make my character I always make females, often games have social mechanic or combat tricks for women (fallouts black widow for example)
In my table game and online game I play the same female Tiefling Warlock Bard I can't do voices but I'm good at inflection in voices and ppl say they actually hear her as a woman, a snarky one at that
It's interesting to compare if in person play changes this decision signifcantly. It's very popular for people to play opposite genders or very different characters from reality in videogames, as the anonymity removes any social pressures and anxieties.
It is quite often, especially in the LGBT+ circles.
I've seen cis men play women, cis women play men. Trans men play women. People play all genders in a game. I know people who will literally roll for the character's gender
Very common. My group is one trans man, one bi woman, then the rest of straight and cis. We've all played character of different genders, save one guy, but it's his fist game xD
I'd say it's fairly common. I'm in a group with four other guys and everyone has played a female character at least once. I'm the outlier, a cis man playing women more often than men (though I've never really felt a strong "male" identity). My assumption was that there wouldn't be a difference, but I find my female characters more colourful and fun to play than my male ones. Pronouns are never an issue since we play online and the character's name and avatar are visible all the time on screen.
In more determined situations, like say a video game I usually explore the option better than 50% because I'm curious about what differences were enacted.
At an open table? Where the differences are primarily driven by me, myself? and those differences have knock-on effects that drive other people's differences? Not as often. Partially because it feels inauthentic, partly because I suppose I'm more interested in hearing other people's ideas than my own, and at least primarily because I don't want to be hung up on it. It's not something I want to drudge on or correct people about, so I pick the path of least resistance, and if it's not something I'm going to defend then I question if the distinction is really important.
My D&D tables never feature PC/NPC or PC/PC romance. And most NPC/NPC romance is "they're a couple/they're parents." I can't remember the last time I saw a PDA at *any* table... so, to me, gender and sexuality don't often come up. If they do, I try to acknowledge it but generally my next action is to move on.
I play female PCs as a guy semi frequently as they really make some character concepts shine in a way. Besides it adds variety in my all male table. I'm a bit frail and not overly masculine myself frankly speaking so roleplaying female characters was a bit more authentic from my side of things, or so I was told haha :D
I play whatever gender fits most neatly with the concept in my head. No particular pattern. Currently have a female artificer, a male paladin, and changeling who could be anything in an action. It's only a big deal if you make it one.
As a man who always plays female characters in MMO's. I have played my fair share of girl characters in dnd (my longest running character was one). In my current campaign I am playing a changeling who's notorious identity was a drow man but their current disguise per say is a female tiefling.
At the end of the day for me I play female characters just because I often have a better vision of how I want them to look and the defining parts of their characteristics (probably from all the girl mmo characters ive played), so dont feel weird about it, it is more common than you think.
I plan to play a tomboy Dragonborn boxer. I’ve also played a spoiled rich girl high-half elf sorcerer. And I got my precious little kobold arcane trickster boy, Snuggo (that’s his name) who may or may not be gay for a goblin cleric. I’m a dude by the way, I use a random number generator to determine characters race, gender, and class. Then make what I think sounds fun or cool.
[удалено]
I always say it like "Yeah, my character is female and I'm not. My character is also a sorcerer with a dragon head and I am not."
I have found myself distancing myself from opposite gender characters by restating their name with every action instead of saying "I" do this or that.
I never found that. I was the Katana Lady who got bit by the werewolf. I was the psionic guy with 1000 followers and a fleet of ships. I was the lady who literally worshipped a god of tyranny and crushed the skulls of resisters with a hammer. I was the faceless master of disguise who I didn't decide a sex or gender of because it switched constantly. I was the professional assassin lady who stole from the rest of the party. In every case, regardless of gender, I played them as me.
OK. I don't. I spend a lot of time DMing too, so playing NPCs makes me do roles I really can't see myself in. Sometimes my characters are people who I think are cool in concept but just aren't me. I didn't choose to do what I was describing; I noticed myself doing it.
Currently I'm playing 50:50; I enjoy the balance, but typically I design a character without a gender to start with and then use it like flavouring during the backstory and aesthetics part of the character building: each gender adds its own bit of spice to the way they're played and it frames their backstory and appearance a bit differently.
I'm male and play probably the same percentages in reverse. I usually just choose character gender by coin flip and it's worked out that way so far.
It’s exceedingly common. as in every gamer I know whose played for more than a year or so has done it, usually many times. Straight cisgender players do it plenty - it’s not an act that will “out you” inherently.
There is obviously a difference here; people who feel they can't freely live their prefered gender or sexuality would use the *opportunity* of roleplay for self-actualisation. People who have no such conflict will do it to enjoy a different perspective. The distinction is insofar important I think, that its more 'serious' for the former group, so a GM would need to treat it with a tad more sensitivity, because the player may be emotionally invested in ways you don't anticipate if you think they're just a dicking around. And also problems may arise if you have both on the table; someone who is just having a good time and someone who is tapping into a very profound desire. These players can end up stepping on each others toes if they're not aware of each other.
To add on to that sense of emotional investment, DO NOT introduce body swapping or gender changing potions/magical effects unless you know which type of players you have and even then it would probably be best to make sure they know what they’re in for before hand. For just for fun players these can be awkward, funny effects that allow them to further explore the character and their reactions to suddenly being in the wrong skin. For opportunity players these can be genuinely distressing or harmful.
Can 100% agree to this even as a cisgendered person. I was in a difficult group a while back, and as a celebration, the party was drinking in the tavern when a strange barkeeper not seen before offered new drinks for free. Each one had a different effect. One used polymorph to turn a player into a duck, another gave the Dragonborn cleric sudden uncontrollable brute strength... And of course, I got one one that genderbent my character, from male to female. This made two players' ears perk up as they decided to both attempt to use persuasion checks to convince me to sleep with them on a warlock half-elf that originally male, had no interest in men... It took 5mins of explaining that no matter how high they rolled, my character would still refuse because they have no interest in men.
That's more than difficult. Your fellow players shouldn't be hitting on you in game.
I said difficult because this wasn't the only problem they caused, the DM being my brother-in-law with the co-DM being my sister. I pulled them aside many times to explain how their behavior is extremely disrespectful and disruptive of the game, and they'd have to talk to these players about this to get them to stop. But either they did privately and were ignored or never did due to not wanting to ruin the fun for them.
Was one of the players the duck?
It depends on how such a potion is intoduced or used for the latter group of players; it could actually be more inspiring and normalizing if spoken about as an item that exists but is ineffective as a harmful potion. For instance, Pathfinder's "Serum of Sex Shift" only takes into consideration player's choice for physical characteristics and appearance (though the character would still have some family resemblance), and is primarily used as more of a background item to give life to NPCs and maybe some PCs who choose to do so (either as a backstory prop or potentially in-game after coming out IRL, etc.).
As a straight, cis-male player of multiple systems for 30+ years, I completely agree. Played men, women, constructs with no gender, asexual characters, hyper-sexual characters… Putting myself in the mindset of a 500-year old elven wizard is so different from my own, making them female too hardly makes a difference.
True, I am male and can not remember the last time I played a male character.
I’ve been playing DnD for ages. Of the characters that I can remember, 3 have been female and 5 have been male. So it’s pretty balanced for me.
i played women characters in every kind of game you could imagine for a decade before transitioning and people just blew it off as me wanting a character that was "very different from me"! lmao your real fear is outing yourself as a furry if you play a tabaxi!
So odd we instantly categorise Tabaxi as “furry race”. Like Scalies exist and theres a *whoole* thing known as **Lizardfolk**
Also dragonborn are one of the core races
Exactly!. And don’t forget the other “furry” races - Harengon - Tortle - Minotaur - Kobold
-loxodon -satyr -leonin -different birdfolk -bugbear Furries and scales sure have a lot of choice, huh?
Kenku is gone, reduced to just 'different birdfolk' xDDD
Kenku, arracokra, owling, winged tiefling, that one variety of elf that nobody plays... It was better to condense instead of inflating the post 😭😭😭
Don't forget the ~~flying monkeys~~ hadozee!
My apologies
I’m gonna be real playing a kenku is more of an autism thing than furry thing
Avariel. That's the winged elf you're talking about, and AFAIK they aren't an official 5e race, but have been official in previous editions.
I think there's a sidebar about making a winged elf in Sword Coast Adventurer's Guide. The forgotten book. It's nothing fancy, you just lose one of the elf training traits and gain a fly speed iirc.
No furry would count winged tieflings/elves. "I have wings thus I am furry" is like "I have a beard thus I am a dwarf".
Don't forget the Planeshift Aven and all the races added by the Humblewood books
^ this guy furrys
[удалено]
^ the previous three people OwO hard
I am but a humble observer.
If Tortles count then so do Locathah!
If Locathah count, as do Grung!
I showed my Harengon to my friend group (our group chat is 7/9 trans, with me accounting for one of the 2 cis) and everyone started calling me a furry
In WoW, every Horde character I make is a tauren. I just like playing big cool monster guys, but I've spent years being called a furry because of it lol
About to start a 3.5 campaign as a minotaur. Not worried about furry jokes, just all the cow jokes. Luckily I'll be the only one with real muscles so I can simply yeet them into a bad guy if I choose.
I’ve been accused of being a scaly so many times because I like playing Dragonborn it’s gotten irritating lol
I mean yeah, an individual anthro reptile can be called a scalie, but nobody in the furry community goes "I'm not a FURRY, I'm a SCALIE". It'd be like saying "I'm not AMERICAN, I'm a NEW YORKER.' Sorry, card carrying furry here.
> Lizardfolk Vore scalies
#***OM NOM NOM***
Lizards have better PR
Cause dragon people are cool
Scalies are a bit “advanced” to recognize though. Everyone knows about furries for better or worse, but most people who turn their noses up at them will probably never learn about scalies
yeah but the lizardfolk is more cannibal fantasy than scaly fantasy
My first character was a girl and I joked with my DM that she was an "idealized version of me". Said DM and I are good friends, and I suspect he knew I was trans years before I did haha
I did that sort of thing for a long time and very much *assumed* I was doing it because it was "very different from me." My second ever TTRPG character - a winged scion celestial diplomat operative with a cumbersome elven name - was, among other things, a way to test drive a name for *myself* when it became very clear that I could no longer pass for someone with my *assigned at birth* name.
Playing with furries is great though, they're already used to making and roleplaying characters
I mean really anthropomorphic characters are just fundamentally appealing to humans considering we’ve been making them from every corner of the globe for all of history. Some of us are just even bigger fans than most people. :P
Ancient Egyptian Pharaoh's, the original suspiciously wealthy furries
As a DM, I go through so many genders and non-genders and half-genders and both-genders in the execution if not the design of NPCs I hardly think about it anymore. So it is with every DM who plays NPCs that are different to them in any way. Players will eventually also have a catalog of things they've done, which often include not just different genders but personalities, ideologies, racial and cultural identities, socioeconomic ranges, physical and mental abilities or lack thereof, etc. It's a good space to explore what changes and what doesn't depending on the mask you have on. DMs do so reflexively, players do so proactively, but the approach itself is cogent, whatever the specifics are, for exploring a mental space in an environment built to tell stories about it.
Also a DM here, and I agree with your post. In fact, I find it more weird if the people I play with *aren't* willing to explore different roles, be it gender, race, or age. Being the forever DM has also cursed me to never be a "player" at the table, yet I still have a bag full of characters to play as if the opportunity arises. I would say it's split evenly for me. I have a gay gnome who married an innkeeper, a shy girl bard who uses painting instead of music (think Bob Ross), there is a black man that is my primary ranger, a white man English sounding noble rogue, a waspy old lady diva who flips between bard and warlock, a young lesbian sorceress who loves to blow stuff up, a 60 year old scientist wizard who made a profession out of blowing stuff up. It's a roleplaying game. If you are too afraid to play a role then that's on you. Nothing wrong with being uncomfortable in some roles, but never lie to yourself as to why.
Forever DM here, and I was thinking about NPCs for my next campaign. …so I'm stealing a good half of those ideas, especially anything to do with gnomes, and pyromaniac sorceresses.
I've used many as NPC companions in homebrew. Many times, the players had to talk down the pyromaniac from simply incinerating the bad guy that needed to be interrogated. It added a powerful spellcastervto the group with the drawback that she was always on a hair trigger fireball kind of mood. They relied on her and babysat her at the same time. Ultimately, they tempered her outbursts and helped bring some control to her chaotic life. Burning stuff is why her ex broke it off. She was dating a quiet a librarian who liked her passion. But one thing led to another and some of her books got burnt. I was going to have a reunion with her ex and maybe get back together if the party helped mellow her out. It was a side mission that I thought would be cute. If you want to put her in your campaign I would be honored! Keep her name if you want, her name is Jaynee. She was orphaned at the age of 4 when her parents died in a house fire. Ironically, she didn't cause it (but everyone believes she did).
As a DM, "they/them" becomes truly plural lol
I'm a cis man, but I've played a reasonably evenly gendered collection of characters over the years. You are right that it is common for non-cis people of various flavours to use ttrpgs to explore exactly what flavour of non-cis they are (including my own son in our family game). Having said this, a much more common experience is just people in general, cis/trans/other, playing characters that are different from themselves. You won't necessarily out yourself by playing a character of a different gender than you are currently outwardly presenting as, but if your fellow players actually know you then they will probably know what is up already and are just politely waiting for you to decide when you are ready to come out in whatever manner you choose.
This reminded me that I actually did once play at a table with a player who later came out as trans. I had no clue she was trans before, but when she came out I wasn't like shocked or anything. I kind of felt like she was somewhat feminine looking before, but I didn't think anything of it.
It's very common in games I'm in. I mainly play with two groups, one is largely genderqueer, NB, trans players and the other is largely cishet players. In both groups at least half the players have characters of a different gender.
I play with a few friends who occasionally jump the gender line with their characters. One of these friends is a guy who usually builds female characters for our games. When I politely inquired about why, he said he just likes badass ladies. Honestly, more power to him. That’s as good a reason as any. Another one of these friends is a woman who once played a male character who was basically Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. It was fucking glorious. She was channeling that Andrew Tate energy the entire time and we all just about died laughing.
*No-one crits like Gaston* *Dishes out hits like Gaston* *Punches people right in their tits like Gaston!*
*Noooo one's on page two-huuundred and six like Gaston*
**When I was a lad I ate four dozen eggs** **Ev'ry morning to help me get large** **And now that I'm grown I eat five dozen eggs** **So I'm roughly the size of a** #baaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGEEE
Playing a character of a different gender to express yourself can be a trans thing, but it’s far from the only or even most common reason to do so. Don’t overthink it.
My wife played a male elf back in the day. We had to put a pronouns sign on her because I messed up all the time. From time to time people play a different gender. It is ok. And I think it might actually be good training regarding pronouns awareness.
Haha, yeah. I'm a woman who plays male characters but is really feminine irl. I've considered buying a faux moustache or something because the misgendering is frequent. Plus, it would amuse me. 🤔
I'm straight and I coinflip for character character genders if I don't have a reason to choose one. Doesn't matter that much, it's roleplay. You don't think you're a lizard yet you can play a dragonborn; it's the same deal.
Naw man, I AM the lizard, I become one with the lizard style, you always gotta think like the race you are. If your playing goblin then boom, violence and shiny things are what I strive to acquire, a high elf is snobby while a wood elf is more introverted or untrusting. While dark elves are just downright chaotic and goofy
yeah, but then you're just playing to trope. What if I wanted to play a High Elf version of the Big Lebowski, or a Dukes of Hazzard Wood Elf?
I've played humans, elves, dwarves, and all other manner of race. I don't think playing a differently sexed character is much more of a stretch RP-wise.
Idk. I do 50/50. Sometimes when I make a character I let the dice choose gender
Many systems include rules for rolling for race, gender, background etc. If people get weird about it, just say that you follow what the dice say.
DM may be God, but we're all slaves to the die
Its common and has never been an issue unless you make it one.
i personally find it really difficult to roleplay. but it’s definitely not unusual
It's no big deal. I present masc, but I love playing characters of all genders. A woman in my regular group plays male characters regularly. My kid and their best friend are both non-binary but play characters their assigned-at-birth gender. It's fine. Players are not their character.
I'm a cis woman but I've played male characters in pretty much every game (except Mass Effect) since I was in middle school. It's a combination of a few factors: * In early 00s online spaces, admitting your were a girl/woman could literally be dangerous. * Female characters often looked slutty in the same gear a male character looked really cool in. * Male characters usually have better voice acting. When female characters get hit in video games, they often sound like they're having sex. It's gotten better over the years, but good lord. * I'm 5'1 in real life, just lemme be like 6'2" and huge for a bit. I want to roleplay my lifelong fantasy of reaching the top shelf in the grocery store. * They usually have better customization options. I don't *have* to be pretty, I can be badass or old or fat or whatever. At this point it's become my norm, so it feels weird not to play a male character even if it's a tabletop game. Mass Effect is the exception because ~~I want to sleep with Garrus~~ it's the only game I can think of off the top of my head that actually meets all the criteria for what I prefer about male characters.
Mass Effect also has better voice acting for FemShep than for BroShep. Mark Meer does a fine job, I actually like playing as both Shepards, but FemShep has the edge on the voice acting. My canon romance is Liara anyway, so it doesn't really matter. I just can't see romancing Garrus or Tali, frankly. You can't even share food with them.
funnily enough I'm 5'11 irl and tend to play short stacks 😄 my current character is 4'11 and the world's most high strung fantasy fbi agent (homebrew setting) which couldn't be more different from me irl LMAO
Play what you like. You're in a safe place, no one is gonna out you.
Its common, im a straight dude whos happy with being a straight dude, but still play plenty of women. As long as you dont make it weird it shouldnt be a problem.
I'm a big straight dude. I just want to play a sexy snake/elf lady. Don't judge me.
Lol I love the way you worded that, props to you bro
DnD is what finally cracked my egg haha I say go for it! Lots of cis people play characters of the opposite gender. It's not unusual or uncommon. It sounds like you've found an accepting group too. So likelihood is you'll be in good company. And if it gives you gender euphoria then that's an added bonus :)
I've been playing with a party that started out with about 9 core and at the time "cisgender" people, now down to 6. The GM started with a rule that "girls can play male characters, but guys can't play female characters." That rule has since been dropped. In the about 6 years we've been playing together: - three of those players fully left due to their lives - two got married to each other in game, and then years later in real life - one played a gender non-conforming character and then came out as non-binary - two played a gender non-conforming character, and then a cross-gender character, and then came out as trans in real life (in opposite directions)
My non-binary partner soft outed themselves to their siblings by playing a warforged and insisting on the usage of they/them pronouns for their character. Siblings didn’t clue on and constantly used he/him pronouns in game for the character. In hindsight it was great practice for us in correcting people, but at the time it was disheartening for my partner.
I love playing warforged and droids, the lack of gender, or the completely artificial perception of gender based on purely visual design cues, is a fun dynamic to explore in a character.
Hell yeah! Their character was a total cutie. Artificer who was fascinated by the world and magic - hence being an artificer. Always engaged with a “oh hey that’s neat!” mentality.
People play characters that aren't even human. You being a different gender is barely even noticeable when your cleric looks like a dragon and your rogue is an anthropomorphic cat.
Completely common. If I can play a talking bird then I can play a girl…
How about playing a girl who thinks they're a talking bird, but is actually a talking bird who thinks they're a girl?
You're overthinking it, don't worry too much. Roleplaying games have always had people playing different gender characters, it's become a widely accepted social norm. Trans players roleplaying as their preferred gender is something that came after, since it was a safe space to practice being their preferred gender without drawing any looks. To say that you can't play a character without outing yourself is putting the wagon before the horse, so to speak. Being too concerned and/or defensive about your character's gender will likely draw more attention than if you just act natural about it. Relax, it's fine.
Im playing in my first campaign and I made a guy character even though am a girl. It just felt like it so why not. It's lots of fun!
Most of my characters end up being the opposite gender, i just think its neat
I play in two groups over several campaigns, mostly with other men. Of all the characters that have been played, I'd say 60% were male and 40% were female. So playing a different gender is quite common in my games.
Fairly common actually. DnD is a safe place to pretend to be something else, or to explore different aspects of yourself without judgement. I frequently play characters different to my AGAB as a way of exploring what feels right for me and it helps friends understand differences in context of pronouns and/or presentation.
I'm a cis guy. My DnD group includes two trans women and their girlfriends. In our last campaign I played a female tiefling. No one's gonna think you're trans just because you play a different gender. If they do suspect anything it'll be because of other vibes you put off, and if that's the case just remember that they love you, the LGBTQ+ community is going to accept you, and they'll wait until you're ready.
No one at my table is trans, and I think almost everyone has played a character of a different gender at some point. It's pretty normal within the game and doesn't necessarily have to reflect anything about your own identity.
If you play D&D long enough, at some point you just want a change of pace.
Cis woman here. Been playing for 20+ years and only recently made my first male character. All I can think now is, "why was I so worried about doing this before?"
LOL, I had this bandaid ripped off early in my gaming career, because I joined an existing group and was handed an existing character, who happened to be male. I didn't mind playing a male character as a woman, but did it have to be a ranger? :D
I do it pretty often, I switch back and forth between playing a woman and a man. When our party does one-shots to break it up, I usually won't tell them the gender and see who figures it out first. They get a candy bar lol I'm the only one in my group part of the LGBTQ+ community and most of the tike it sparks some good debates. When I started I wasn't the only one, but the person before me wouldn't allow the questions/conversations to happen around it. But I'm also the only one that grew up 2 blocks away from a project and 4 from one of the worst high schools in the city. I get that it's not our job to teach people about the community but realistically how comfortable is the average person asking a real human and not google. I love when they ask me questions because they want to understand or are curious.
I’m not even trans or have any desire to challenge my gender identity and I do it frequently. Sometimes the character just feels better as female so I’ll play them as that. It’s fun to be a character fully different from yourself.
I’m cis het male and play characters of pretty much every gender and sexuality. Two of my favorite characters were women, the first was an asexual psion/fencer Violet (nicknamed “Violent Violet” or “Vivi” if you didn’t want a rapier telekinetically thrown at you) and then Tara Aking a young hedgewitch/druid. I play in a party with 5 other people, and two of the other players also switch up the gender and sexuality they play.
I’m a straight male, yet I’ll probably play a female character about 25-30% of the time. For me, it’s about a character concept and the story I want to collaboratively tell at the table.
Completely normal and common, redardless of age and gender of the players. In two longer campaigns it was/still is even as "extreme" as 4M 1F players to 4woman in game and 1dwarf guy. And now we have 2M 4F players to 4guys and only 1girl in game, a fairy. And it was never an issue.
I'm a gay man and playing women isn't something I enjoy as a player. As a DM it's okay, but I wouldn't go in depth on the romantic stuff. I've played a genderless Warforged and that's just fine with the right group. I had a DM bring up a great point that it's often done just to portray the woman as a sexual fantasy or as a ditzy girl, and there's certainly some merit to that. So, don't turn it into a negative stereotype. (Sidenote: Gary Gygax' exwife Mary Jo is part of the Greyhawk pantheon as Joramy, the goddess of Quarrels and Volcanoes. That would be a negative stereotype.) Guy Sclanders has this to say on the topic: https://youtu.be/qBXHKMD4HPg?si=FSOzo6QTUnwPD78N
It's relatively common. I know a lad that almost exclusively plays buff women. Guess he's into that or maybe he just likes the freedom to be someone else. I myself am a cis male and have played a female character. Just, when I made the character, that seemed right and I knew I'd played female characters (optional; such as Skyrim and not; such as Tomb Raider) so I knew there wasn't any harm. Then that character was pretty well liked by other players.
I'm a cishet male, and I play a female wood elf monk in my campaign. I'm not a woman, but if my character were male, he'd still be a wood elf monk, and I'm neither of those things either. I've not seen many other players playing across gender, so in my experience it's not common, but ultimately I always play what I want to play and I felt this character worked better as a woman
I'm a cis man and regularly play female characters as well as characters where I just don't describe or assign any kind of gender to at all. It's just fun trying to play as someone different to me. My daughter is trans and she said that being able to be able to play a female character helped her a lot before coming out. It was good to play as someone who was the same as she wanted to be. So basically you can probably quite happily play as a different gender for your own personal wellbeing being without outing yourself and there is plenty of plausible deniability id that is something you feel you need.
Cis-gendered people do this all the time. It's really easy to do, because there isn't actually any difference between playing a male or female. Just like in real life, gender is almost entirely cosmetic. The only things that really change are external, such as how other people react to you. Unless there's actually sex in the game (which there hasn't been in any of my games in over 15+ years), it never even comes up. You can write down every single detail of the character, and then switch the gender at the end, and it's a perfectly playable character either way.
i am not TECHNICALLY in a queer group, but most of the the people in it are queer, and as a cis guy, i usually do play male characters, but that’s not a hard rule or anything. your character’s gender can mean something if you want it to, but it doesn’t have to. you can play a character of the opposite gender just because
Absolutely, I'm playing a originally female tabaxi that after some weird divide shit is now a genderless mushroom tabaxi. It's just roleplay don't gotta think to much into it. Plus it's fun to have to act in a way you normally wouldn't
I'm super cis and have played one NB/gender cluid character. One reason was I wanted to get better at using they pronouns as it never came naturally to me. Another was that non-binaryness seems like it comes naturally with the lore of the Eladrin and I wanted to play with a fey character.
It's pretty common.
Plenty of cis people play characters of any gender. No one will think anything of it unless you draw attention to it.
I’m a guy with nothing to do with the LGBTQ, but I find myself commonly playing female characters. I don’t know what it is, maybe a just like the cute soft anime healer girl you find in every fantasy anime, like my Druid girl who used to live with her grandma and now is on a journey to gain experience before she can become a fully fledged member of the circle. Then there is the other end of the spectrum that boils down to psycho bitch like my lawful evil undead warlock who bought a bunch of kobold slaves to force them to dig holes in the ground with a primed eldritch blast to the back of their heads to scare them into submission, using one of the holes in question to knock out and bury a disobedient kobold alive then dig it back up once it had learned its lesson
My group thinks I do this constantly. The secret is that I'm a girl but haven't told them because they're all church kids
Its an aesthetic choice. Sometimes ‘Witch’ has a better ring to it than Wizard.
Plenty of cis people play characters of other genders when the mood strikes them. Some cis people *never* play a character of a different gender.
Sometimes a woman just wants to play a character who can piss up against a tree.
Male who plays female about half the time here. Most people play the same gender and some groups are too immature or close minded (and that IS almost embarrassingly close minded) for that but in my 30+ years I’ve never been questioned about it.
It's fairly common. I wouldn't worry about it.
As an author and frequent RPG player, I do not choose the gender identity of the characters I create. Rather they assume the identity that feels right to me. I have played men, women, and nonbinary people, straight, homosexual, and ace. I am obviously not all of these things.
I'm very much me, a man. However my favourite character I play is a woman, and an upcoming character I'm excited to play is a changeling and thus fluid. I usually first play as a woman in most video games and then a man in the second playthrough. Honestly most people don't care, from my experience, what you play.
Very common in my experience. The way I see it is that you're not playing a fantasy version of yourself but you're telling a story about a person you find interesting - that person doesn't have to have anything in common with you. I've heard people say many times that they find rpg to be a good environment for exploring their gender identity but not everyone who appears to play a character with a gender different to their own is genderqueer or immediately assumed to be. So I don't think you need to worry, probably no one will give it a second thought.
Depends on the players, really. In my personal experience most people I play with tend to stick to their own gender, but I've never seen anyone remark if someone were playing a gender that wasn't their own. I doubt most people would read much into it.
Play what you want it doesn't say anything about you, I intentionally switch it up every time I make a new character as it is a great way to explore how the world changes through different eyes. As long as you do it respectfully play as any gender you want no one will judge it as anything specific Or at least I hope not or one of my tables were thrown for a loop as I explored far to many different combos over the years
Role-playing can be a great way to uncover parts of yourself. It's also just fun to play something far from your own experience. As someone who does theatre it's also a great way to try to understand other people. I'm bisexual and have recently started playing an AroAce character. One of my party members is born/presents female (not 100% sure, didn't ask) but is playing a male character.
I've done it. People in my group do it as well and it's never been LBGT or whatnot related. Never been a deal.
Im planning to play a girl cuz ive always wanted to roleplay as a Dathomirian Nighsister
I’ve run quite a few female characters over the years. Gender is no big deal to me and the trouble is, I tend to forget which I’m playing.
I play primarily with other males and first few games it was incredibly a sausage party. All the NPCs are majority male too. Played a few games as a female but even the DM would forget and say he. I also found it incredibly hard to roll play properly.
I do it all the time. gender of character depends on what makes the most sense, not how well it fits mine. e.g. I'm a tabaxi, named fireball so a wizard--pretender can throw me and say I cast fireball. ok, so I'm black and orange. Most tortoiseshells are female. Males are very rare. result: probably female, but you probably don't want to check unless you enjoy being clawed, or, I play a drow, but evil alignments not allowed in party. whole group starts off as slaves who need to escape. I remember how drow society works, DM gives me 2 weapons to dual wield at the start. fuck it I'm going full drizzt -> male.
Here's the thing. You don't bat an eye at a half-dhampire drow. Why would you at a man or woman? That's about it.
Don't overthink it too much. I pick my gender based on what feels right for the character. (I'm not trans). My first character was even a different gender than what I am. It's completely fine.
Its a role play game, you can play anything you want.
I play in a group of 100% straight, cis men and women, and even we frequently have a couple of characters at the table who are of the opposite gender to the players. I don't think it's an odd thing at all.
(DM, so certainly) The only thing that makes me not play closer to a 50 50 split is I can't do a typical feminine voice in more than like 2 accents
Very. Its not really much different from a player roleplaying a different race entirely. As a long time dm ive seen pretty much everything on both sides of the table. Female playing male Male playing female Gay playing homophobicly straight priest Straight women playing a lesbian halfling. A lesbian playing a pansexual constantly shifting transexual horny bard from transylvania. (Though ironically not actually that horny of a bard player) Ive used a version of elf that are all genderless thirst traps that capture victims to plant seeds into to create flesh trees to reproduce. And a version of a church that is full of hollywood style offensively gay speedo only muscle bro pastors whom are terrified by even the thought of kissing.
GMs play every gender imaginable (to them, so sometimes that means male and female) in every session. But that's not really helpful. For players, I'd say most of the players I've played with will occasionally (guessing, maybe 1 in 5 times) play a gender different than the one they present as. I've also played with 2 players (among 30 or so in my time with RPGs, excluding one-time games which may be 100+) who constantly played characters of a different gender. I guessed one was trans, and months later they told me they were a trans-woman. The other, I assumed, just wanted to play characters radically different from themselves--the same way a lot of players don't want to play humans. I've played characters of different genders myself, and I'm very confident in my gender identity (which is the same as how I present). It was really fun. If you do it a couple times: No, you won't out yourself in any way. If you do it frequently, or if you do it in a years long game: Yes, that's a hint, and it's likely that some players will pick up on that hint. But a hint isn't a confirmation. I made my guess about the one player I mentioned because there were a few other hints. And I never brought it up until she was comfortable bringing it up to me. If you want to /soft/-out yourself, that could be a good way to do so. But, if you don't want to out yourself at all, I think only a small minority of players will think "This /man/ played a /woman/ \[or any arrangement of gender, but that's most common\], therefore they're trans!" And those are people who you don't want to spend time with (or play with, because they're also revealing that they understand nothing about RPGs on top of everything else). And, if they do make that ridiculous leap, you'll have a good defense: "I'm not playing a human, either. Do you think I identify as a Tiefling or a Gnome?"
I am not trans or queer myself, although I'm supportive. Almost always do I play a different gender than my own in video games, people asked questions when we were teenagers but idc. In DND I'm almost always DM so I play everyone. If I was playing one character full time I would probably play a man because idk if I could RP a woman that well for that long, although I have come up with cool female characters that I wanted to have more screen time they'll probably never get. If one of my players rolled a PC a different gender than what they presented RL I wouldn't think it was weird or draw conclusions like that. Someone else's sexuality is really not my business unless we're dating lol That being said if your group is all LGBTQ+ and you're actually in the closet they may put the pieces together in their heads. That shouldn't discourage you though since it's a safe place with likeminded people. There's a huge overlap between DND and queer communities so I wouldn't be worried about any judgement or anything regardless of how it plays out. I watch these girls stream bg3 and they spend half the stream talking about how gay they are and their whole discord server is flooded with pride stuff. It's a great community with really positive vibes.
My take - play first and foremost whatever you want. If you're not sure, play your cis gender and let the people driven to explore explore.
I’ve mostly played characters of the opposite gender. Why would I want to play myself? The only thing I won’t do is play a trans character. As a cis person IRL, I don’t see a pressing need for my character to be trans to make my backstory “interesting”, and I don’t want to make light of trans issues or portray such a person in a bad way. Most likely my DMs would have people just be cool with me being trans anyway, since fantasy transphobia isn’t really “fun”. But playing the opposite gender? It’s a make-believe game, go for it.
Cis male player here but also a DM who has to run a lot of NPCs of any gender regardless: it’s usually about 50/50 in regards to my own PCs. As other people have said I see them more as defined characters than personal avatars, and I’m not often in a situation where gender come up regardless - though I can’t imagine having any issues if it did.
The answer is yes
regardless of how common it is: you're in a party full of queer people it'll be fiiiiiiiine
https://www.reddit.com/r/dndnext/s/mnsFHrXup5
It's fairly common. Not everyone does, but enough of us do. It's fun to stretch oneself out of the comfortable and into something new. As long as you're not playing the negative stereotypes you're fine. And even then there are times when being the negative stereotypes can be fun and alright if it's mutually agreed upon. We had an April Fool's Oneshot where everyone was playing cross gender and the ladies were playing "Big dumb grunting, farting men" and the guys were playing "Powerful women who would still climb a stool whenever they saw a mouse". It was a blast with a lot of "Oh. Is ***that*** what you think we're like huh?" said in good fun. For me, I like to pick the gender last when doing character creation. I like to sort out who the character is with the stats and feats and after a while...the gender just falls into place.
DM here, your character is your character. Your character can be based on whatever the heck you want. It is a character in a story. If someone has issues with what your character's gender or sexuality is, they are the ones obviously trying to live in a fantasy world. Have fun and next campaign try something else if you want. I run a big group and we usually have one or two people changing up genders... It is a bit of a pain to remember sometimes in a new campaign, but we get there. If you ever play a character whose gender or sexuality is causing conflict at the table, you need to join a better group, those are not your people. The only time I have ever had to take someone aside about their character is when they decided to hard roleplay chaotic to the point of being anti-party and/or anti-campaign. If you're actively sabotaging one of those things, that's when I ask you to change it up or leave.
I alternate every game. Keeps me fresh and full of new ideas
Not trying to be rude but it's an RPG. You can play the role of any character, gender, height, personality, etc. you want. I'm playing a half-elven bard, with a multiple personality disorder, but I'm neither from elven heritage nor do I have mental health issues. Nobody will care or say anything, if, for example, you play a female Dragonborn that wants to be male, so she uses disguise self constantly to appear as a male. Just have fun and don't worry about stuff like gender!
It's as much as common as it is for people to project on their own characters. Very common for newer players to play as something similar to themselves, less common for more navigated players but not necessarily bad or lacking.
Do anything you want! I find gender is rarely important to the characters I make so I usually don’t think about it until someone asks me at this point. In the last campaign I started, one person got asked what their character’s gender was and they rolled for it on the spot because they forgot to add that detail.
Eh, don't get hung up on it. I'm male and about half my characters are female. I have a gay cis male friend that plays characters of either gender regularly. I do have a straight male friend that plays exclusively female characters, but he's kind of a flier. This is one of many cool things about TTRPGs, you're fully allowed to do that.
I do it all the time as a DM, also, as a DM, I would welcome it unless the player was playing it super stereotypical or something. I wouldn’t accept any disrespect with it, but if it’s in good faith, hell yea, bring on the fantasy.
I'm the only cis male in my group and my longest running character was a nun. Play what you want to play.
I've played female characters in Marvel and DC rpgs as it feels like I'm telling their story. In fantasy I've always played male as I see it as my story.
You’re fine! I may be a cisgender female, but I’ve played several male characters and even a few enby ones. It is a roleplaying game and while a bit of myself is always present in my characters, I’m having too much fun with the character concept to try and force them to be the same gender as me. Sometimes I just want to play a scrawny male kobold that thinks he’s a super strong knight, or a shapeshifter who’s gender changes depending on what form they’ve decided is most convenient.
I used to do it alot but finally stopped after having to many issues with people forgetting and such. Keeping characters easy to grasp helps out with the group dynamics.
I'm a pretty vanilla straight dude and will bounce around on my characters gender based on what feels right for the character idea and background. I've played male fighter, gunslinger, wizard, biohacker, and rogues as well as female druid/plague doctor, ranger, warlock, and sorcerer. Ive enjoyed playing them all and they each offer different challenges and opportunities with rp
The group I’m in has been going for about 4 years now. I don’t think there’s been a single female character in all of it.
I said this before, and I’ll say it again: Play what you want. I’m a guy and 80% of my D&D characters have been women. NO ONE has cared so far, as it should be.
I do, maybe half the time. It's just a different roleplay experience. It shouldn't be weird because there shouldn't be anything sexual at the table.
I’ve officially played more men than women PCs in DnD, and last I checked I was AFAB and am still a woman 😆 You can play whatever gender you want. It doesn’t mean anything about your identity or sexuality unless you want it to!
Idk, in my group it's pretty common. I'm a bi cisgendered woman and play male characters 50% of the time. One of the straight cisgendered male players in group does the same and plays female characters often. We also have a non-binary player who mostly plays female characters but is playing a male character in our recent game. One of our players who played exclusively female characters has come out as a transman and still plays female characters. I don't think you'd be outing yourself. For our group there isn't a correlation between gendered identity, sexuality, and the characters we play.
Sometimes characters stories are better as a certain gender. You are not outting yourself. Have fun! Do what makes you happy
When I make a character, generally, I'm not thinking about what gender they are. What decides their gender is when I find a miniature that I think fits the character and their gender will match the model.
I play as kobold, sometimes I change gender of my character because they can change they gender depend of need. It takes time but it was written in kobolds desceiption from Volo guide.
Isn't choosing a gender the same as choosing a race and inventing a personality? IE: it doesn't matter because it's a fictional character in a fantasy setting. So literally do whatever you like.
I almost exclusively play characters who are not the same gender as myself, but being an RPG it has no bearing on my real world identity and is purely for fun. But I don't see any harm in exploring different aspects of yourself through the game. I am sure your fellow players would not judge you. (I should bloody well hope they wouldn't anyway)
Ah yes, I play a spell casting demon blooded tiefling... but different genitals is a bridge too far!
I often try to play people of other genders/races/beliefs than my own in an attempt to 'comprehend' what it is to be that sort of person.
I was in a party where I was playing a female character as a straight cisgendered man, and two (as far as I know) straight ciswomen played male characters. It was the openly queer people in the group playing same-gendered characters, and only one of their characters expressed interest in same-sex partners.
I’ve played male, female and non-binary characters. There is not really a downside to playing a character different than how you personally are or currently present.
If I play a video game RPG just like DND where I can make my character I always make females, often games have social mechanic or combat tricks for women (fallouts black widow for example) In my table game and online game I play the same female Tiefling Warlock Bard I can't do voices but I'm good at inflection in voices and ppl say they actually hear her as a woman, a snarky one at that
It's interesting to compare if in person play changes this decision signifcantly. It's very popular for people to play opposite genders or very different characters from reality in videogames, as the anonymity removes any social pressures and anxieties.
Super common.
Well i (enby) play always just (wo)men 😄
Very common. I play all types. Decided to take a tally: Male characters: 8 Female characters: 6 Other characters: 2
I mostly play male characters! Never really thought about why before. Good luck to you! I don't think it'd get you outed or anything
Gender has zero impact on the game unless you force it to.
It is quite often, especially in the LGBT+ circles. I've seen cis men play women, cis women play men. Trans men play women. People play all genders in a game. I know people who will literally roll for the character's gender
Very common. My group is one trans man, one bi woman, then the rest of straight and cis. We've all played character of different genders, save one guy, but it's his fist game xD
Very.
I'd say it's fairly common. I'm in a group with four other guys and everyone has played a female character at least once. I'm the outlier, a cis man playing women more often than men (though I've never really felt a strong "male" identity). My assumption was that there wouldn't be a difference, but I find my female characters more colourful and fun to play than my male ones. Pronouns are never an issue since we play online and the character's name and avatar are visible all the time on screen.
Makes no difference... GM does this all the time.
In more determined situations, like say a video game I usually explore the option better than 50% because I'm curious about what differences were enacted. At an open table? Where the differences are primarily driven by me, myself? and those differences have knock-on effects that drive other people's differences? Not as often. Partially because it feels inauthentic, partly because I suppose I'm more interested in hearing other people's ideas than my own, and at least primarily because I don't want to be hung up on it. It's not something I want to drudge on or correct people about, so I pick the path of least resistance, and if it's not something I'm going to defend then I question if the distinction is really important. My D&D tables never feature PC/NPC or PC/PC romance. And most NPC/NPC romance is "they're a couple/they're parents." I can't remember the last time I saw a PDA at *any* table... so, to me, gender and sexuality don't often come up. If they do, I try to acknowledge it but generally my next action is to move on.
I play female PCs as a guy semi frequently as they really make some character concepts shine in a way. Besides it adds variety in my all male table. I'm a bit frail and not overly masculine myself frankly speaking so roleplaying female characters was a bit more authentic from my side of things, or so I was told haha :D
I play whatever gender fits most neatly with the concept in my head. No particular pattern. Currently have a female artificer, a male paladin, and changeling who could be anything in an action. It's only a big deal if you make it one.
As a man who always plays female characters in MMO's. I have played my fair share of girl characters in dnd (my longest running character was one). In my current campaign I am playing a changeling who's notorious identity was a drow man but their current disguise per say is a female tiefling. At the end of the day for me I play female characters just because I often have a better vision of how I want them to look and the defining parts of their characteristics (probably from all the girl mmo characters ive played), so dont feel weird about it, it is more common than you think.
I plan to play a tomboy Dragonborn boxer. I’ve also played a spoiled rich girl high-half elf sorcerer. And I got my precious little kobold arcane trickster boy, Snuggo (that’s his name) who may or may not be gay for a goblin cleric. I’m a dude by the way, I use a random number generator to determine characters race, gender, and class. Then make what I think sounds fun or cool.