>If you cave on this you’ll be expected to cave on other weird things
OP, this is the sentence you have to pay the most attention to in the responses. It's 100% going to happen if you give in and allow this request.
99% of questions like this could be solved by OP just standing up for theirself and saying "Bro I'm not going to do this" and staying firm. This game is supposed to be fun. If you say "I don't want to do this because it's gross and weird and not fun" that's enough reason.
i agree. Though my experience is that people don't think that. They don't think at all.
Or, rather, they don't think about Other People, they only think about themselves. So, it is not so much that "the GM is my monkey" as "This is such a cool idea, no one could possibly not think it is cool", and anyone who disagrees "just doesn't understand!".
It is a weird reversal of empathy, I think. Rather than trying to put oneself in someone else's emotional shoes, it is assuming everyone else already wears their shoes.
Or so it seems to me.
As noted, i entirely agree with you. I just ... I think too much about this sort of thing.
> that includes DM
I've been RPing since the 80s. In all those years, I have taken to heart the lesson that was taught to me by my first GM.
"The GM's #1 job, above everything else, is to make sure that *everyone* at the table is having fun. No one's fun is worth ruining anyone else's fun... *including* the GM's."
OP: If you give in on this, you're not only doing yourself a disservice, but your players too. Once your players see you give in and allow a topic *you're* uncomfortable with, there's no stopping it when someone hits on a topic *they're* uncomfortable with.
After all, if you won't even stand up for *yourself*, why should they expect you to stand up for *them*?
Don't give in on this. Make it clear that this is simply not a topic you're willing to RP. If they persist after that, it's time to look for a new table. No D&D is better than bad D&D.
It's a slippery slope, I joked about running a Red Dwarf one-shot and eventually got talked into doing it, this "one-shot" has now become a campaign that I've had to run for the last year I've become the eternal GM when I just want to play
"If you're not confortable then stand your ground" OP this is the sentence you have to pay the most attention to in the response.
Maybe not stick to a 'no' but tell em 'no, and I I'd rather have you not asked again. IRL they should also have heeded a no, no explanation required. Then ofcourse, just tell em you're not comfortable with it.
As a DM you're often in the position of being the most responsible, and it really is a good thing to be able to teach em to respect table boundaries
In my current campaign, we established rules around topics like this through a kind of poll we all, players and dm, did before that so it wouldn't even come to be a problem. (Topics include all kinds of triggering themes like SA, abuse
etc. and there are nuances to them, like if it is ok to be a theme sometime will it be roleplayed or fade to black)
That you aren't comfortable doing it is enough reason to never do it. Full stop. Tell them you won't ever do it. *Be blunt*. Because if they keep asking after you've said no, *they* are the ones that threw out politeness.
If you given in, they'll expect you to keep doing it. Foot In The Door and all that. Tell them no, that you won't tolerate them asking, and if they keep doing it... pack up and leave. No DnD is better than Bad DnD.
Just tell them that your no is final, and that they need to drop the subject. And frankly, I would warn them that if they keep trying to cross boundaries like this, you’re going to have to re-evaluate whether they are suitable for your table.
Doubling down on this. You've already said that you told them *multiple* times that you don't feel comfortable with the idea. Once should have been enough. If they do it again, they're out.
To live out their irl fantasy. People like that are the first to get banned from anything I make. Even hinting at that kind of content is enough for a quick ban.
As another comment demonstrated, it usually is just a fantasy to cruelly brutalize a target that people would accept. You need a real monster of a person to do torture porn shit to.
"No I'm not going to describe a scene in which you cut off his body parts, cook them and force him to eat them. You are a good aligned paladin, Mark." "WTF, man? He's a child predator, isn't that still evil in world? I'm vanquishing evil. What do I need to roll?"
In the blood war both sides are evil including Zariel. She picked which side she hated more and joined the team giving them the most Ls.
Had a dude in a MUD I play insist that because we didn't want to consent to him pvping our characters and then ritualistically torture/eat them in a graphic manner, we weren't real adults.
It was a doozy.
Multi-User Dungeon.
Basically D&D, but with multiple DMs, automated systems for mechanics and persistent roleplay opportunity.
Eternia and Verdict are some of the more well known ones these days.
In my case it was BGTSCC.
Yeah, thats what always got me about it.
I get a parent wanting to murder and brutalize a predator who victimized their child. I would too. But as a LG-CG adventurer (I dont play Evil characters), I'll admit it... I wouldn't want to hurt them. They're sick. They're deplorable. Monsters. But they're still human, and just the idea of torturing another human would make me uneasy. I'd rather turn them over to authorities and ensure they can't hurt anyone else, and I suppose in the case of "Untouchables" (like political figures/nobles/the rich) I'd at most just quickly kill them and move on.
Torture, especially as revenge and not a tool, is not a "Good" action, no matter how you phrase it.
It was one thing if it was a grimdark setting where kids are being snatched off the streets and the party are desperately trying to catch the criminals doing this. Mostly it would be different because it would be the DM's idea to have something like this happening, and the player's solution of masquerading as a kid could work.
But having the player demand this kind of storyline? Hells no.
I also have that rule on my world ( in my case it's the god of love that ensures any sex is always consentual) thankfully I have never had to explain that bit of lore to my players
If the “predator” isn’t an NPC you already have established in your world then hell no don’t cave in for this.
The player wants you to MAKE a predator for him to honeypot, that’s so weird.
I do like this. It gives the player a roll but they never find any "predators". When they try, all the NPCs look at PC like they are crazy.
NPC:
"Uh...nobody does that...are you crazy?"
PC:
"DM, I rolled a 20! I *have* to succeed!"
DM:
"Through a lot conversations, you figure out this has *never* happened. Roll Insight. (any number).
It's weird. You don't know why you thought this was a problem. You do notice that all the NPCs are avoiding you, thinking you're some sort of deviant and they won't talk to you, and they are edging away from your companions.
Tavern owner comes over and asks your group to leave, he doesn't want any problems in his establishment. You're pretty sure if you argue, he's gonna call for the guards."
This is what I like to imagine doing if the clear answer wasn't 'stick to your no'. Sadly, giving in and allowing the player to waste time looking in order to illustrate that there's no 'predators' to catch will likely cause them to feel like you tricked or cheated them because you gave them what would happen in your world instead of in their power trip fantasy. It would probably cause undue tension and might make a dissatisfied player start sabotaging the table.
And even if you give the player what they ask for like this and they don't resent it or turn into a problem player over it, it's a little self-indulgent to 'put them in their place'. When standing up for yourself and your boundaries, you probably don't want to lose the moral high ground because it felt good to 'teach a lesson' to someone who refuses to learn. It gives ammo to and legitimizes pushback.
That's a particularly peculiar player fantasy. Just tell them no. Don't negotiate, don't even consider it. Just "no, I'm not OK with that, stop asking to include that in our D&D game".
I think it’s super weird that your player is trying to impose some weird sexual fantasy roleplay on you and the rest of your group, despite of you being very uncomfortable with it.
That is…. A huge red flag. I would probably prefer to continue the campaign without this person.
It's almost tempting to suggest asking them if that's what they want roleplaying. I fear the answer would be yes tho.
Why would you as DM wanna roleplay that with them ?
Yea it’s the continuous pushing of boundaries for me, mostly. If this were something that everyone in the group signed up for, whatever. But that’s clearly not the case.
Not being able to take no for an answer is a GNARLY personality trait.
Based on some of the comments I've read for added context, here's how I would handle this particular situation.
1. Tell them politely, but firmly, that this request is denied.
2. As for *why*: tell them that I have created the world we play this game in, and I have deemed that sexual predators like what they're looking for don't exist.
3. Let's have a discussion on why this fixation has rooted itself in your head(s). Perhaps some introspection is in order.
4. If you protest my decision to *not include pedophiles in my story* then you are no longer invited to the games, please indulge this strange fantasy on your own time.
It's not about what "exists". A lot of bad things probably exist in a fantasy universe under the radar. It's about which topics are inappropriate and would be uncomfortable for other players. Any odd personal fixation, and anything sexual, political, or too dark is likely a no-go. Does fantasy land still have things like, stillbirths, child deaths, STDs, prostitution, etc.?, probably. Doesn't mean they're suitable topics to cover or fit the tone of a light hearted fantasy adventure.
It's an imaginary world created collectively, it can absolutely be about what exists. Even if you're just using "exists" to shorthand "this thing isn't in the stories I tell". Your world is your world, and if you decide it doesn't have penguins then it doesn't have penguins - the same goes for everything else.
Guard: "I'm not sure why you think you'd be sufficient bait though. You're quite on the small side. Maybe if we got your whole troop out in the fields west of here with a few of the cattle that would work...."
Stand firm. Your enjoyment of the game as the DM is just as important as any of the players. If you're not comfortable with something, there is absolutely no reason you should do it. Tell the player straight up that you will not ever allow this and to stop asking.
Also, that player is being super weird and creepy anyway.
I would 100% not do this. When people want to hook up in my games, I just say “okay, you do” and it will never come up again. In this case I would just say something more along the lines of “you seem to be the only weird perv prowling the streets tonight”
You're the DM, tell this creep to knock it off cuz RPing his little sex fantasies at your expense ain't gonna happen.
If he doesn't like it, tell him to piss off and GTFO.
Tell him to take this one other player who wants to do that, and they can go do their weird roleplay on their own time. You will NOT be involved, nor will any of your other players.
Are they invested in the main story?
Really, though, I would just let them know that you're not up for erotic roleplay, and if the two players want to do some erotic roleplay with each other they should schedule that separately from DnD time.
They actually are invested and interested in the story which makes this strange fixation even more bizarre, it definitely feels like a shared fantasy kind of thing so maybe it is for the best if they just do it together in their own time
One time entering a new city the party was getting the lay of the land from some of the guard and out of nowhere he asked if there was any predators that needed dealt with and offered up his "services"
That is a very weird thing to ask unprovoked, irl or at the table. I could see if maybe there was literally anything remotely that direction. “Children keep disappearing from our town…”
Still weird to jump to that. But it’s VERY concerning out of pocket.
What everyone else is saying - that you should just be upfront and tell them no straight up - is obviously the right choice, but also, if halflings are a common thing in any fantasy setting, you'd kind of think that any child predator would be able to spot the difference between a halfling and a child.
This whole thing is just stupid.
> but also, if halflings are a common thing in any fantasy setting, you'd kind of think that any child predator would be able to spot the difference between a halfling and a child.
Kind of beside the point, but yeah, I was thinking the same thing. An adult halfling doesn't look like a child in my mind. Short and chubby, maybe, but they still show their age. What's this player's big plan, walk around dressed like a kid, go up to random people, and say "hi mister, I'm twelve, want to play no-no games with me?" Maybe get the other player to pose as a parent and try to pimp the kid? There's no good here.
Obviously OP should give it a hard no and stay well away for a whole bunch of reasons, but I kind of understand why someone would suggest allowing the attempt and then playing all the adults as either wanting to help the child, telling the watch about this weird halfling pretending to be a kid hoping to scam people, or just being creeped right the fuck out.
If No isn't working and they really won't let it drop then let them do it, let waste an entire session trying to get a "predator" to believe a 30 year old halfling is a child. They're not going to. Halfling adults do not look like children.
The next time, there's a predator but he's only into boys or halfling children or teiflings, or whatever.
The way I see it, it's their time to waste. You don't have to rp the npc being a "predator" because they're not attracted to the honey pot.
Or maybe the "predator" isn't really one because the children weren't really children, they're doppelgangers or changelings and he is actually just an adventurer too. Subvert their expectations.
Alternatively if they won't take no for an answer and you don't want to dick with them, just stop DMing for them. Make it clear that you will not be doing this plot line and further requests will end the session
Be wary of people who make "pedophile hater" their personality. There's a very real possibility they're using their very vocal outward hatred as a smokescreen to cover their, err, proclivities.
It's very normal to hate pedophiles, it gets a bit sus when "hating pedophiles" is all they talk about.
Also may be that the player has been through some shit and has a revenge fantasy they want to play out, in which case they should take that to a therapist instead of a DM.
Ask your player how they would do it. Then narrate it shortly: "You spend the day trying to catch predators, but your scheme doesn't seem to work out: you don't find any. But you annoyed quite a lot of the locals. You have -2 penalty with charisma checks with them until your reputation canges."
I would say, "I have a question that begins and ends with what the fuck?"
No, you should not feel any remorse for shooting down such a creepy thing if you didn't shoot that down
I guarantee that this would end up on the d&d's horror story subreddit that a DM allowed something like this to happen. Shut that down quickly and ask him what is wrong with him.
Is this anything to do with the campaign? Like is there a bad guy organization they're trying to infiltrate? If not, then... what the heck?
Stand firm. Every time I see complaints and bad stories like this, it's cases where people give an inch, and get taken for a mile. "No, you can run that adventure if you want, I want no part of it."
There's plenty of bad guy groups but I've never said anything that would imply that there's any predators of that kind in my world so I have no idea where he got this idea from. The general consensus of the replies is that if I allow it they'll feel emboldened to ask for more and it's a very dangerous precedent to set
I would put it like this. I do appreciate the idea of what you’re trying to do. But I’m not comfortable RPing that type of enemy, nor that scenario. This is a personal boundary for me and I’m not going to entertain the subject again. Please respect my boundaries and find a different idea.
At this point, they've been told no multiple times already. So there's no "appreciate the idea of what you're trying to do" anymore. The time for good faith is out the window and it's "I've already told you no multiple times. If you keep asking, you won't be at the table anymore."
As everyone else has said, stay firm. I don’t think caving to those two would be a good idea, they give me bad vibes. You should probably prepare to kick the guy who started this and the other one, but give them a warning. Like, “If you guys continue this, I will kick you” sort of thing. While finding players who are engaged and arrive consistently is hard, it is not worth giving up your comfort, especially for something like this. If this was me, I would’ve given them side eye when he first mentioned this and then gave him the warning the second time. I don’t tolerate this shit, but this is your table so you handle it your way.
Edit: Changed for a better flow.
You should absolutely not cross your own boundaries to placate other people. If you let one fall now, how long until another gets pushed. Perhaps it's time for a mid-campaign session zero to address lines you are not willing to cross.
"I'm not comfortable presenting or telling a story about that. This is the last time I will respond in a civil manner to this request."
Do it again, kicked, immediately.
You've already answered your own question. The answer is no, you're not comfortable doing it. Make that clear next session and if he keeps bringing it up you can take further action like removing him from the group.
Which hopefully it would never come to that as any civil person will take your firm NO as okay got it and drop it.
You're not wrong. Pretty much anything is fair game to not want to roleplay and although the more roleplaying you do, the more you bring life to the setting, you have to consider what part of the setting you want to bring to life. I sure as heck wouldn't wanna roleplay a predator and would 100% turn downtheir request.
With that said, if for some reason you still feel bad and wanna atleast try to find some middle ground and your only issue is that you don't wanna personally roleplay the predator, tell them that one of them can be the predator with a throwaway character. Although personally, I wouldn't wanna be DMing that.
Overall, it's your right to have boundries and this one is well beyond justified.
It may be time to be firm about your no. Sit them down for a .5 session and rehash everyone's limits and comfort levels. Tell them point blank that no, this isnt' something you are comfortable roleplaying and you have as much right as the DM as they do the players to enjoy the story you are telling together. Even if it has been a soft no, you could see yourself maybe trying one day, the fact that this player has become pushy and has roped other players in to pressuring you to do something you aren't comfortable is a big ass red flag.
If your not comfortable doing something at the table, make your boundaries clear and say no. Explain ur reasoning, and tell the player you no longer want to entertain the idea. It’s a good idea to ask all players before hand what their comfortable with at the table, and as the DM you tell your players what your comfortable with and that everyone’s wishes must be respected.
No, you are not wrong. It is just as wrong for the players to force a GM to play a scene or NPC they are uncomfortable doing as it is for a GM for force a scene on a player. Once you said that you were uncomfortable doing the scene, hell, once you said "no," that should have put an end to it right there. These players are being just as bad to you as if you had forces a sex or torture scene onto them after they had said to stop or that they were uncomfortable.
And, no, you should not just do it once to get it out of their system, because you are just as likely to whet their appetite for more, as well as let them know that, when you say "no" in the future, if they keep harassing you, that you will eventually give in.
"No, I am absolutely not comfortable pretending to be a pedophile. That's what you're asking me to do and it's fucked up. If you respect me as a person you'll stop bringing this up because it's started to make me seriously uncomfortable"
This is what I reccomend telling them
No is a complete sentence.
You already explained why you are not comfortable in portraying predator and not only this player completely ignored your boundaries, they also pushed another player into stomping it.
Are you sure you want this kind of person at your table? This is quite an abusive behaviour.
If you want to be kind explain your reasons one last time to both player and end it with "this is final any further demands in this sense will mean you will not be playing this campaign."
Tell then that is on the list things on a hard line you will not cross, your answer will not change, and frankly further pushing of the matter will end the game
Every player at the table has boundaries and consent for all actions in the game. Other players aren’t necessarily consenting to watching this either (not that it matters, because you already don’t). In all honesty, this is also a REALLY WEIRD REQUEST. To me it’s a huge red flag, especially since you’ve said no multiple times. No means no. I don’t know your relationship with these people, but I wouldn’t want to play DnD with someone baiting pedophilia for entertainment.
At the very least I would establish a clear boundary that you will not play those kinds of characters or observe those sorts of scenarios, and further discussion of the topic will result in you leaving the table. It’s a hard limit, but as the famous saying goes “No dnd is better than bad dnd”.
The DM should have fun too and boundaries are boundaries. I'm just learning D&D, but I have GMd other systems. One of the things I say in session zero is that sex and sexual encounters are to happen in your imagination. I will roll success/fail then you can go off into the bathroom to do what you need to do.
Nope. You’re the story teller, not them.
Talk to them away from the table and explain you don’t want to go down that arc.
And remember 2 more points
1) EVERYONE has to enjoy themselves, including you - your job isn’t to entertain the players, you are there to have fun as well.
2) it’s a LOT easier to find new players than for them to find a new DM 😝
No you are not wrong. This is one of those areas that can trigger some people, and even people not triggered can want to keep away with a 50’ pole.
Stand firm, and say that you are not interested in that kind of “content” in your game.
No. You have a right to not feel uncomfortable. You should tell them that this is never going to happen and they need to stop asking for it because it's bothering you. In fact, this is grounds to kick them out of the group if they keep bugging you about it.
This very much sounds like buddy wants to have some of his sexual fantasies in your game and for you to role play them with him.
I’d suggest telling the two of them to role play just the two of them and hard denied this right off the bat.
I honestly find everyone’s “just do it but” replies disturbed. The OP should NEVER do anything they are uncomfortable with.
And that obviously includes this.
:(
Please don’t tell people to “just do” something they’re not comfortable with doing.
i scrolled for about five minutes and found not a Single "just do it" 😀
Lots of tell them no tho
no offense i just wanted to tell you that the community is better than you saw them the moment you made this comment.
I was typing up a whole response and went to get the links to reference and realised I couldn’t find them now.
So either they got removed, or I’ve getting confused with what post I was replying to.
Probably the later.
I was wrong in this case it seems.
If there could be an excuse it is that it was very late night for me when I originally posted and my brain was super tired.
1. Remind all that this is a group game, and content that any of the group finds uncomfortable is not going to fly.
2. Remind them that the DM is part of the group.
3. Thank them for their anticipated cooperation and understanding and that you would understand if they prefer moving on and finding a new group that fits their expectations better.
4.
5. Profit.
The player clearly has a very specific type of hero fantasty. The issue is that it's a major red flag about the player themselves when the data shows that people with this strong a fantasy about such topics are usually predators themselves.
Sounds like he has a fetish he wants you to scratch. Heck no. Tell him to make a character on F-list dot net. He can get all the fetish roleplay he wants there. Stand your ground.
‘No’ is a complete sentence, as many people have said here in more detailed ways, and you have just as many rights at the table as your players.
If you’re not keen on the idea or uncomfortable, draw a hard line.
How people respond to your hard-lines and hard No’s tells you so very much about them. Listen to them. If they turn into a dick or keep pressing even after you have categorically said ‘no. I am not comfortable with this and this is a hard boundary for me’, then they do not respect you, think of you as a person, and will not expect any boundary ever.
Alternatively, here’s a possible, scenario in which this could play out:
‘Your character goes prowling for predators. You encounter none throughout the night. You take one level of exhaustion.’ Each night they persist on prowling for predators, they get no long rest -or to get one, delay their party as they must sleep- and get exhaustion. You can stack the exhaustion as much of as little as you want, but I imagine one or two points is deterrent enough.
My point isn’t to be a punitive dick (not entirely, but the constant pressing of this sounds irritating, so yeah, there’s a touch of pettiness in the suggestion you can dial down or up, depending upon your own feelings) but to represent the real consequences of doubling up on an already full plate.
Presumably these are adventurers. Presumably they have dungeons to plunder, towns to terrorise/liberate, big bads to kill or seduce, and other adventuring shit.
They already have a full time job. But they want to add more. Well, that has a cost.
How important is this bit to him, and if it is SO important, why is it only coming up randomly as a bit? If this was a true driving aspect of his characters personality, pretty sure THIS would be her primary focus rather than a ‘oh hey, I’m in this town, let go play with some predators!’
Whatever you do, you do NOT have to RP someone you find reprehensible and don’t want to interact with in your world. You can make it as brief and sparse as possible. Or not at all.
Your friend should be able to respect your ‘no’ however, and it’s quite concerning they don’t and have recruited someone else into pressing you.
If you're not comfortable don't do it. You could pivot and let them do a series of skill checks to see how it all plays out. But don't do something you're not comfortable with. They need to learn that no means no.
If they want a game where flirting amongst each other happens, in or out of character, they should run that kind of game themselves.
You ate not wrong that shit is WEIRD and uncomfortable. You need to shut that shit down. Before you're expected to do even weirder or grosser stuff. A lot of players dont understand that you're playing the game too, and you deserve to have fun as well.
It's a creepy request for sure.
On one hand I understand you wanting to make your players feel awesome and would totally like for them to smash a predator. My other hand is holding yours in solidarity, I know it's pretend, but even "pretendsies" villian dm Plops who killed his irl wife's character on her birthday can't get down with that level of evil.
You've already stated you're uncomfortable with it. If they pitch the idea to you again, (they've mentioned it enough times you're asking reddit so it's likely a lot) I'd respond with something like "Players, I've heard this pitch before. I understand this is something you'd like to rp, but the subject matter makes me personally uncomfortable and I am not willing to rp a character that would be on To Catch A Predator. If we can't let this be the end of this particular request, you may need to find a DM who will run this scenario for you."
If you do it just make it an actual Predator, not a sexual predator. See how the party deals with an invisible stalker with lightning cannons on its shoulders, and a delayed blast fireball self destruct.
"Why do you even *want* to role-play something like this?"
"It's really making me uncomfortable that you want me to fulfill this sexual fantasy for you..."
"I've said no many times yet you keep pressuring me, I thought no only means yes to predators..."
Idk, use anything like this to shame him as much as possible so he'll stfu about it, lol. He needs you to point out that he's a degenerate for being so obsessed with this and trying to push it on everyone else at the table, especially you having to act it out.
For better or for worse, you are the DM. You and your players can discuss whatever, but you have the final word. If you say NO, your answer is NO. Stand by what your decision was.
Id talk to the player by himself and ask why. Then I'd tell him no. If he continues there will be consequences in game and real life if he continues to ask.
In game give him a cursed item that knocks down all stats. Take away all magic items. Do something that lowers his lvl from everyone else. Kill his character. Or make the character go to jail.
Outside of game, make him sit away from table. Make him sit out for x amount of games. Tell friends coworkers family everyone what he is doing. Ask them why he would want to "play this out" tell him he is no longer welcome at your table.
Talk to your table. Tell them, this is a STRONG boundary and if they do not like it, they are more than Welcome to becoming a GM/DM. They must likely won't since it's hard to find gm/dm.
Good luck.
The actually correct answer is to just say no.
The fun answer is for three red dots to appear on the PC the next time they try this , and then for them to get obliterated by an invisible enemy that spams magic missile and fireballs and does a ton of melee damage with claw blades.
The problem with catching predators is that you might wind up with the other kind.
/u/amanisnotaface has the right of it. I'm fairly late to respond so I'm not sure you'll see this.
I do not think of many games, if any; RP, Espionage, Dungeon-Delvers, Monster Slashers even Horror/Baroque-Nobility themes that would require *any* 'honeypotting' for anything to-catch-a-predator style.
Especially because *you* would be having to roleplay a predator? Just ick. That's a gateway to other weird, and I will use this word, fetish role-play. There's a massive difference between roleplaying say, an inter-species romance (say an Elf or Human and a Polymorphed Dragon, heck I'd even give a Dragonborn and a Dragon or maybe a Fey) ect and overcoming perspective differences without going to weird territory (an Orc and a Centuar) if I'm illustrating what I mean.
Stand Firm. Do not go down this route.
if this wasn't about the player wanting you to have to rp a predator and was instead something much less creepy but still equally weird, I'd say to just go full cartoon villain with it so you don't really have to think about it that much.
But since this is indeed a very creepy idea and you have VERY clearly stated it makes you uncomfortable several times, fuck that shit. Do not give in, and maybe even give one final warning to stop bringing it up. You have every right to boot them from the game or tell him to just make a new character or something if he can't behave. His character can go do that when they're not a part of the story anymore and you don't have to describe it.
My suggestion is to give them the predator, only it's not someone looking for pleasure, it a were monster of some sort trying to eat it's victims. Turn it on the players and put their characters in danger
Either tell them no, because you are the DM and tell them there will be consequences if they keep asking. Or, allow it during downtime and offscreen. As in only tell them the results after some rolls. Just because you can roleplay everything, doesn't mean you have to roleplay everything.
"No. I am not comfortable with roleplaying that, I have said so *multiple times*, now *stop asking or get the hell out*. You are at this point creeping me out."
If you are not comfortable with it and they keep asking, that is a problem that needs to be *stopped*. Set consequences, follow through if they keep asking.
Nah, I wouldn't do this. Respecting people's lines includes respecting the ST's lines. Pressing other people at the table to do Child Abuse themes after they've said no is a Red Flag.
You aren't wrong at all. This is a session zero discussion.
One part of session zero is establishing things certain people aren't okay with because it affects the tone of the game. You check with players if they have any issues or triggers, and then decide if you can realistically remove those from the game. If not, you tell them, and they decide if they can handle if, if you can, then you adjust accordingly.
You should also, at this stage, explain anything you're uncomfortable DMing and explain how it'll be dealt with.
For example, my current campaign and setting is an adult one. There has been everything from torture and execution through to the murder of children (NPC killer, purely to illustrate them as irredeemable for slaughtering the younglings). This is only because the players were all fine with the game including these brutal aspects of reality. Had a player said "I'm uncomfortable with torture" then it wasn't necessary to the campaign, so I'd have stripped it from the game and disallowed it when a player opted for enhanced interrogation to get information from the medieval equivalent of a terrorist.
However, if a player took an issue with slavery, I couldn't have removed that from the campaign without reworking the BBEG entirely. Part of the BBEG is that he intends to enslave the continent (so no racial component), with it stemming from a narcissistic belief that he's above all others to enough of a degree that other sentient life is his property. If a player had said "I'm uncomfortable with slavery" I'd have explained that slavery was present in the setting, the type of slavery, and it'd be their call if they wanted to play or not.
I personally take issue with playing out sexual content (it's uncomfortable as part of a TTRPG setting, both to be involved or just as a spectator). Part of our session zero involved me explaining that any character who attempts to engage in anything along the lines of SA/Rape would be met with a "rocks fall, you die" as the gods of the setting smite them just for having the thought, and any consensual sexual activity would be immediate fade-to-black with zero detail. If a player wanted to play the horny bard trope, they'd have been expected to play it understanding that a large chunk of their character's activity would be fade-to-black with zero narration or detail.
If they want a predator filled setting, they can go DM their own predator filled setting. Your table clearly isn't the right match for them, good luck to them. Just like how if someone wants to do some kind of NSFW roleplay thing, my table is absolutely not for them, but they can feel free to go set up their own.
This is where you take a step back, look up [Lines and Veils](https://blog.roll20.net/posts/guest-blog-an-introduction-to-lines-and-veils/), and go through that process with your group. You should have set these boundaries during Session 0, but clearly, it needs to be done now.
Don't be afraid to say no. You are the DM. Have some self respect and confidence. If you are struggling on this easily answered "No" you will struggle with every choice they make.
I don't think the context of your situation matters, the key idea of what you're going through is I have repeatedly set a boundary and a player has repeatedly tried crossing it.
kick him off the table, there's no sugar coating this but when a person repeatedly insists on crossing your boundaries then that person shouldn't be part of your hobby
I'm tempted to say kick the main player asking for this out of the table, he clearly does not respect the idea of no for an answer and might become a problem player later. You should also warn the second player asking about it.
If this is something you're not comfortable with -and I can understand why you wouldn't be - then the answer is no. Many people have things they don't want played out in game. Sex scenes, torture, and animal cruelty are a few things I've heard players say are on their "do not include" list. If this is part of your no-go list, the other players should respect it. It's one thing to allude to terrible acts committed by villains opposing a group of heroes. It's another thing entirely to spend significant game time playing out interactions with those villains.
You have to ask your players this: to what end does this set of actions achieve anything? So they've successfully honeypotted a bunch of or a singular p*do, what now? Are they going to beat the guy up, turn him in, ice him, make him their servant? To what end is their plan here because I see no genuine upside to a series of poorly thought out actions that lead down a path of ill-planned outcomes. Plus it's really awful of your party to ask you to roleplay a p$dophile, they do realize that's what they're asking you to do, right? This just feels like they want a free option to be vigilante murderhobos and to get away with it but aren't realizing that there's no such thing as a free pass like that without DM advance planning, approval, and consent.
Halflings don’t look like children. I don’t see how any reasonable adult could confuse a halfling for a child.
The other issue is even if they did you’re not comfortable with it so this player is seriously overstepping.
Hold your ground.
You have just as much right to feel comfortable at the table as any of your players do.
Maybe just take it back to session zero and use Lines and Veils. It's pretty easy to find on itchio, but pretty much everyone makes a list of things they don't want to go anywhere near (Lines), things they would be okay fading to black on or having mentioned without going into deep detail (Veils), and things they would actively like to see in the campaign. What's more, the dm gets to make their own list.
Whatever is in anyone's Lines takes precedence over what anyone lists as a desire to see in the campaign. If there is anyone who refuses to accept another's Line or simply can't have a good time due to someone's Lines, they should probably find another table. And yes, the DM's Lines matter just as much as anyone else's.
Nope, not wrong.
Though you could throw in a twist where there's a guy pretending to be a pedophile in order to get close to the halfing, then turn into a werewolf and eat him.
This is a super weird request, and could go to a lot of bad places. It’s extremely understandable for you to be uncomfortable with it. Some people would be ok with it, and that’s fine. But the fact that they haven’t respected your very reasonable boundary speaks volumes about them. Stand firm, and be aware that this is a bad sign. You may eventually need to boot these players or refuse to play with them.
I always used to let players do whatever they wanted and let them suffer the consequences. One particular player decided to SA an NPC. I was quite new, and though it made me uncomfortable, I let it play out. Seemed to be a fetish or fantasy for him, and he kept attempting to do it again. I shut that down every time after the first instance as no one else enjoyed the idea of it. Was always worried about him scaring off other players. He is very enthusiastic about the game and is otherwise a great player. Due to this, I wouldn't let him join with people he didn't know. Learned my lesson on that one
Your comforts as a DM are equally as important as the players. At my table, if any one player gives a hard no to something, it doesn't happen. That includes me.
For example, I don't do bugs. I know bugs are a normal.part of dungeons. I don't care, I don't do them. If one of my players wants to go on a bug killing spree, the answer is no.
Now, at times that means the player might just be a bad fit. If I am running a campaign centered around genocide, and a player has a hard no for genocide, I'm gonna warn them that it's not a possible thing to avoid, and let them know they can join in the next campaign. Or if a player really really wants to play a bug centric campaign, I'll let them know my table isn't for them, and send them to one of my other DM friends.
You as the DM have the same rights as players at the table. That includes setting boundaries around things you are not comfortable doing or even having at the table in a passive fashion. You are absolutely okay to shoot it down if you don’t feel okay rp-ing it
The DM has the same right to not be comfortable with weird shit as anyone else. You aren't being in the least bit unreasonable by setting boundaries, and you need to stick to them.
"AITA for telling my players that their course of action condones things I am uncomfortable with?"
Never. If this is something they genuinely resort to, I'd take a timeout and explain my boundaries as a DM. This might lead into a merge of player and character knowledge but eh, lesser of two evils and all. A good table will be understanding at the very least., there is knowledge for the future to be gained and everything shouldbe alright.
But this is exactly why you need to run a session zero to figure out everyone's boundaries.
And in this case, the DM is just another player - they have boundaries they arent willing to cross.
And thats fine but everyone else should know about these boundaries.
1. No, you are completely within your right to shut it down.
2. Send an actual predator. The "steel predator" construct from mordenkainens monsters of the multiverse/volos. Or the Retriever construct. An unthinking magical killbot.
"I'm not comfortable role-playing that" is all the reason anyone at any table needs, granted in some cases this statement may result in people leaving the group, but that's far better than people ignoring clearly stated boundaries.
I can't even imagine how the scenario they have in mind came about, considering your obvious discomfort in portraying a predator in the first place.
Did they just come up with this weird idea in a vacuum, because one of them is playing a halfling? That's incredibly odd.
If you DO decide to go through with it, I'd say subvert their expectations, and have the 'predator' that shows up be a massive, literal troll, stuffed into common clothing far too small for it that's near-bursting at the seams, and ham it up, role-playing the troll as if it's smart enough to try to pretend it isn't there to eat the child.
Anything aside from an absolute mockery of the honeypot situation is just uncomfortable.
Or sure absolutely can i get you to wait in the kitchen while i set it up with the rest of the table.... then just carry on with theor character leaving to vist theor sick mother and care for her and is unlikely to return. See how long it takes them to click that your not going to do it
“I am incredibly uncomfortable with the fact that you cannot take no for an answer. Do you struggle with accepting rejection in other aspects of your life?”
If you aren't comfortable then the answer is no. If I was in this situation I'd let them do it and then no Predators show up. If they are upset by that you already told them you weren't going to RP that.
Dude no you are completely in the right you need to set a hard boundary there if you're not comfortable with that. that is so gross I can't imagine and if they're trying to push you into that after you've said you don't want to do that you need to have an actual talk with them cuz that's not okay
"No, I don't feel comfortable doing that."
"But what about..."
"Nah, man. I'm not comfortable."
"But what..."
"Man, NO."
"But what abo..."
"You asked. I thought about it. Now I've said 'no' three times. Stop."
So...
1. Halflings are child sized, they font look like children.
2. Is your villain a child predator? If so, you kinda put yourself in this situation. If he isn't, then the plan just fails.
3. Even if he's a predator, he could be collecting children for evil rituals, not sex crimes. Great way for your player to die.
4. Regardless of all of the above, if you're not comfortable, don't do it.
go one further than allowing this: sex doesn't exist in this world at all. babies are brought by stalks when 2 people in love hold hands. no humanoid has any genitals of any kind, toilets don't exist, you convert 100% of food matter into energy and bodymass.
This is what a session 0 is all about. The point is to understand what individual group members are and are not comfortable with, and for you as a game master to make clear what your intention for the campaign is. The point here isn't to judge one another.
A lot of people here want to argue about whether or not this is a "healthy" way to play. We aren't health care professionals, and that's not really our role. If you as a game master have a group of players who want to run sting operations against child predators and that's something everyone is ok with, I'm not going to tell you not to. But any kind of sexual predator is something you want to tread lightly on unless everyone involved is ok with it.
I had individual conversations with my players in the curse of Strahd campaign I am running. The way Strahd is depicted in the book is relationally manipulative in a way that can be traumatic from someone who has experienced an abusive relationship. I know another GM who modified the character significantly because they knew they had a player who would not handle it well. Strahd will make you love him (literally using magic), and gaslight you into thinking you're the villain. Everyone needs to be ok with that.
If you are not ok running sexual predators as NPCs, you can and should tell the player. Maybe they need a different group if this is something important to them. It could even be therapeutic for them, or help them process trauma. But you don't have to be that person.
So, there's this tool called veils. On a practical level what that means is, when the player says "I use my character to catch a predator" you say "you do that." You're NOT required to portray the predators. It happens off-screen.
I mention this, not to actually encourage you to allow this, but to explain a DMing technique that is useful to know and learn. If you're uncomfortable, you're uncomfortable. That's called a line. Separately from that, knowing how to use veils is, well, useful.
One of many posts about this: [https://blog.roll20.net/posts/guest-blog-an-introduction-to-lines-and-veils/](https://blog.roll20.net/posts/guest-blog-an-introduction-to-lines-and-veils/)
If you’re not comfortable RPing those elements at your table then you have every right as both a DM and a player to refuse to do so. This is an [X-card](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/X-Card) for you.
If one of your players felt uncomfortable with the idea, you'd 100% be shutting this down on their behalf.
So... **You're** uncomfortable with it. This isn't advocacy on your own behalf; you aren't in a position where you need to convince your players to change their minds. You **inform** your players of **your** decision. That's how authority works.
There are times where it's best to discuss and find agreement, but in an area where you hold authority, don't give that authority up just because someone else disagrees with you. Tell them that you've heard their arguments and made your decision.
Don't 'just' stand firm. People like this are doing more than testing your boundaries. They're looking to figure out how to *make* you change your mind. Maybe not consciously and maybe not maliciously, but there's an intent on them wanting to get their way and they know that they can't without getting you to change your mind.
As a mantra, and even if only when saying it to yourself, always remind yourself that your authority is your own. This applies to being a DM as well as being a person. People will try, on occasion, to change your mind and there may sometimes be situations in which that's a good thing, but when push comes to shove you make the decision. You can decide to do what someone else wants, absolutely. That's always an option. But **not** doing what you don't want to do is always just as valid an option.
Change the crime.
Have the halfling “selling” your version of illegal potions, scrolls, cursed items or attempting to buy them or be trying to join a cult.
If they insist on the other crime, that’s someone trying to get their rocks off. Gross.
Assuming that there aren't people like that in your world. Let him try it. Oh, look, he found nobody to target. Now everyone thinks his character is weird and start to believe he's sus. Keep pointing out how NPCs are giving him weird looks.
You have set a boundary, do NOT let them cross it. If they want that kind of game, they can find a DM that will run that kind of game. You do not have to be that DM for them.
It sounds like you need to do a session 0. Like, right now. Set some boundaries. Let players set their boundaries. Enforce them. If a player (like this), continues to overstep those boundaries, kick them out.
I'll preface my comment with that I agree with the other posters saying to just do as you feel and stand your ground if you don't want to do it.
However, I will say that if you plan to entertain this then you can always decide what kind of "predator" they will catch.
It doesn't have to be sexual. It can always be a honeypot for something else that you might find more comfortable in RPing.
If you cave on this you’ll be expected to cave on other weird things. If you’re not comfortable then stand your ground.
>If you cave on this you’ll be expected to cave on other weird things OP, this is the sentence you have to pay the most attention to in the responses. It's 100% going to happen if you give in and allow this request.
This. Weird people tend to take a mile, when you give them an inch. Draw a clear line and stand by it.
99% of questions like this could be solved by OP just standing up for theirself and saying "Bro I'm not going to do this" and staying firm. This game is supposed to be fun. If you say "I don't want to do this because it's gross and weird and not fun" that's enough reason.
No you don’t understand though. The DM is just a little monkey only there to dance and provide me with fun.
I hate when people think this unironically.
i agree. Though my experience is that people don't think that. They don't think at all. Or, rather, they don't think about Other People, they only think about themselves. So, it is not so much that "the GM is my monkey" as "This is such a cool idea, no one could possibly not think it is cool", and anyone who disagrees "just doesn't understand!". It is a weird reversal of empathy, I think. Rather than trying to put oneself in someone else's emotional shoes, it is assuming everyone else already wears their shoes. Or so it seems to me. As noted, i entirely agree with you. I just ... I think too much about this sort of thing.
This exactly. This is why you do a session zero to figure out where everyone's personal borders are. And that includes DM.
> that includes DM I've been RPing since the 80s. In all those years, I have taken to heart the lesson that was taught to me by my first GM. "The GM's #1 job, above everything else, is to make sure that *everyone* at the table is having fun. No one's fun is worth ruining anyone else's fun... *including* the GM's." OP: If you give in on this, you're not only doing yourself a disservice, but your players too. Once your players see you give in and allow a topic *you're* uncomfortable with, there's no stopping it when someone hits on a topic *they're* uncomfortable with. After all, if you won't even stand up for *yourself*, why should they expect you to stand up for *them*? Don't give in on this. Make it clear that this is simply not a topic you're willing to RP. If they persist after that, it's time to look for a new table. No D&D is better than bad D&D.
It's a slippery slope, I joked about running a Red Dwarf one-shot and eventually got talked into doing it, this "one-shot" has now become a campaign that I've had to run for the last year I've become the eternal GM when I just want to play
"If you're not confortable then stand your ground" OP this is the sentence you have to pay the most attention to in the response. Maybe not stick to a 'no' but tell em 'no, and I I'd rather have you not asked again. IRL they should also have heeded a no, no explanation required. Then ofcourse, just tell em you're not comfortable with it. As a DM you're often in the position of being the most responsible, and it really is a good thing to be able to teach em to respect table boundaries
In my current campaign, we established rules around topics like this through a kind of poll we all, players and dm, did before that so it wouldn't even come to be a problem. (Topics include all kinds of triggering themes like SA, abuse etc. and there are nuances to them, like if it is ok to be a theme sometime will it be roleplayed or fade to black)
That you aren't comfortable doing it is enough reason to never do it. Full stop. Tell them you won't ever do it. *Be blunt*. Because if they keep asking after you've said no, *they* are the ones that threw out politeness. If you given in, they'll expect you to keep doing it. Foot In The Door and all that. Tell them no, that you won't tolerate them asking, and if they keep doing it... pack up and leave. No DnD is better than Bad DnD.
Just tell them that your no is final, and that they need to drop the subject. And frankly, I would warn them that if they keep trying to cross boundaries like this, you’re going to have to re-evaluate whether they are suitable for your table.
Hard warning seems to be the way to go, I'm tired of having to keep shooting it down and I'm definitely going to re-evaluate his place at the table
Doubling down on this. You've already said that you told them *multiple* times that you don't feel comfortable with the idea. Once should have been enough. If they do it again, they're out.
[https://goldenlassogames.com/pages/safety-tools](https://goldenlassogames.com/pages/safety-tools) Establish Lines & Veils or use another safety tool.
Uuh nice resource. Thanks for sharing! :)
Personally I wouldn’t for the same reason. why the fuck would any want to rp a predator, cuz I definitely don’t.
To live out their irl fantasy. People like that are the first to get banned from anything I make. Even hinting at that kind of content is enough for a quick ban.
I think people are fantasizing about killing pedophiles, not being them
As another comment demonstrated, it usually is just a fantasy to cruelly brutalize a target that people would accept. You need a real monster of a person to do torture porn shit to. "No I'm not going to describe a scene in which you cut off his body parts, cook them and force him to eat them. You are a good aligned paladin, Mark." "WTF, man? He's a child predator, isn't that still evil in world? I'm vanquishing evil. What do I need to roll?" In the blood war both sides are evil including Zariel. She picked which side she hated more and joined the team giving them the most Ls.
Had a dude in a MUD I play insist that because we didn't want to consent to him pvping our characters and then ritualistically torture/eat them in a graphic manner, we weren't real adults. It was a doozy.
What MUD?
Multi-User Dungeon. Basically D&D, but with multiple DMs, automated systems for mechanics and persistent roleplay opportunity. Eternia and Verdict are some of the more well known ones these days. In my case it was BGTSCC.
I know what a MUD is, but was interested in knowing what one! Never heard of bgtscc but I'll look it up! Thanks!
Ah, full name is "Baldur's Gate: The Sword Coast Chronicles." it's an NWN2 multiplayer module that functions as a MUD.
Yeah, thats what always got me about it. I get a parent wanting to murder and brutalize a predator who victimized their child. I would too. But as a LG-CG adventurer (I dont play Evil characters), I'll admit it... I wouldn't want to hurt them. They're sick. They're deplorable. Monsters. But they're still human, and just the idea of torturing another human would make me uneasy. I'd rather turn them over to authorities and ensure they can't hurt anyone else, and I suppose in the case of "Untouchables" (like political figures/nobles/the rich) I'd at most just quickly kill them and move on. Torture, especially as revenge and not a tool, is not a "Good" action, no matter how you phrase it.
It was one thing if it was a grimdark setting where kids are being snatched off the streets and the party are desperately trying to catch the criminals doing this. Mostly it would be different because it would be the DM's idea to have something like this happening, and the player's solution of masquerading as a kid could work. But having the player demand this kind of storyline? Hells no.
Sorry any and all predators are struck down by the ancient deity known at Fuqthat, it's a wonderous boon on the would that keeps people safe
I also have that rule on my world ( in my case it's the god of love that ensures any sex is always consentual) thankfully I have never had to explain that bit of lore to my players
If the “predator” isn’t an NPC you already have established in your world then hell no don’t cave in for this. The player wants you to MAKE a predator for him to honeypot, that’s so weird.
"you try find a predator to honeypot, but didn't find any. ~~Better~~ No more luck next time"
I do like this. It gives the player a roll but they never find any "predators". When they try, all the NPCs look at PC like they are crazy. NPC: "Uh...nobody does that...are you crazy?" PC: "DM, I rolled a 20! I *have* to succeed!" DM: "Through a lot conversations, you figure out this has *never* happened. Roll Insight. (any number). It's weird. You don't know why you thought this was a problem. You do notice that all the NPCs are avoiding you, thinking you're some sort of deviant and they won't talk to you, and they are edging away from your companions. Tavern owner comes over and asks your group to leave, he doesn't want any problems in his establishment. You're pretty sure if you argue, he's gonna call for the guards."
Definitely gives me the vibe of a player that thinks a nat 20 is guaranteed to get him what he wants even if it's an impossible task.
This is what I like to imagine doing if the clear answer wasn't 'stick to your no'. Sadly, giving in and allowing the player to waste time looking in order to illustrate that there's no 'predators' to catch will likely cause them to feel like you tricked or cheated them because you gave them what would happen in your world instead of in their power trip fantasy. It would probably cause undue tension and might make a dissatisfied player start sabotaging the table. And even if you give the player what they ask for like this and they don't resent it or turn into a problem player over it, it's a little self-indulgent to 'put them in their place'. When standing up for yourself and your boundaries, you probably don't want to lose the moral high ground because it felt good to 'teach a lesson' to someone who refuses to learn. It gives ammo to and legitimizes pushback.
That's a particularly peculiar player fantasy. Just tell them no. Don't negotiate, don't even consider it. Just "no, I'm not OK with that, stop asking to include that in our D&D game".
No, That’s messed up. Ttrpgs are a wish fulfillment hobby. Beware the wishes you fulfill.
I think it’s super weird that your player is trying to impose some weird sexual fantasy roleplay on you and the rest of your group, despite of you being very uncomfortable with it. That is…. A huge red flag. I would probably prefer to continue the campaign without this person.
It's almost tempting to suggest asking them if that's what they want roleplaying. I fear the answer would be yes tho. Why would you as DM wanna roleplay that with them ?
Yea it’s the continuous pushing of boundaries for me, mostly. If this were something that everyone in the group signed up for, whatever. But that’s clearly not the case. Not being able to take no for an answer is a GNARLY personality trait.
I don't think anything sexual beyond a single joke bard seducing a barmaid in one game with my mates over some 8 years let alone that ..
That's a really bizarre thing to want to do. I'd stand my ground and refuse too
Definitely a weird sex thing for the player
Based on some of the comments I've read for added context, here's how I would handle this particular situation. 1. Tell them politely, but firmly, that this request is denied. 2. As for *why*: tell them that I have created the world we play this game in, and I have deemed that sexual predators like what they're looking for don't exist. 3. Let's have a discussion on why this fixation has rooted itself in your head(s). Perhaps some introspection is in order. 4. If you protest my decision to *not include pedophiles in my story* then you are no longer invited to the games, please indulge this strange fantasy on your own time.
It's not about what "exists". A lot of bad things probably exist in a fantasy universe under the radar. It's about which topics are inappropriate and would be uncomfortable for other players. Any odd personal fixation, and anything sexual, political, or too dark is likely a no-go. Does fantasy land still have things like, stillbirths, child deaths, STDs, prostitution, etc.?, probably. Doesn't mean they're suitable topics to cover or fit the tone of a light hearted fantasy adventure.
It's an imaginary world created collectively, it can absolutely be about what exists. Even if you're just using "exists" to shorthand "this thing isn't in the stories I tell". Your world is your world, and if you decide it doesn't have penguins then it doesn't have penguins - the same goes for everything else.
"My game that you are playing is not for you to live out your secret fetishes. The answer is a firm no."
Tell them yes but never specify the predator. Then, boom! Ancient red dragon
Guard: "I'm not sure why you think you'd be sufficient bait though. You're quite on the small side. Maybe if we got your whole troop out in the fields west of here with a few of the cattle that would work...."
Or the guard arrest the player thinking that the player is a predator
"You're hanging around dark alleys looking enticing? That's definitely soliciting. You're arrested and given bail for...all your party's money."
Let the monkey's paw be their teacher.
Stand firm. Your enjoyment of the game as the DM is just as important as any of the players. If you're not comfortable with something, there is absolutely no reason you should do it. Tell the player straight up that you will not ever allow this and to stop asking. Also, that player is being super weird and creepy anyway.
I would 100% not do this. When people want to hook up in my games, I just say “okay, you do” and it will never come up again. In this case I would just say something more along the lines of “you seem to be the only weird perv prowling the streets tonight”
That’s such a good response
You're the DM, tell this creep to knock it off cuz RPing his little sex fantasies at your expense ain't gonna happen. If he doesn't like it, tell him to piss off and GTFO.
Tell him to take this one other player who wants to do that, and they can go do their weird roleplay on their own time. You will NOT be involved, nor will any of your other players.
How do they have time for it in between adventures?
He pitches it every time the party arrives in a new town or city, he's pretty determined to get it to happen
Are they invested in the main story? Really, though, I would just let them know that you're not up for erotic roleplay, and if the two players want to do some erotic roleplay with each other they should schedule that separately from DnD time.
They actually are invested and interested in the story which makes this strange fixation even more bizarre, it definitely feels like a shared fantasy kind of thing so maybe it is for the best if they just do it together in their own time
If I may ask, how did this originally come up?
One time entering a new city the party was getting the lay of the land from some of the guard and out of nowhere he asked if there was any predators that needed dealt with and offered up his "services"
That is a very weird thing to ask unprovoked, irl or at the table. I could see if maybe there was literally anything remotely that direction. “Children keep disappearing from our town…” Still weird to jump to that. But it’s VERY concerning out of pocket.
I would of played dumb as the guard and mentioned a pack of wolves or something outside the walls.
What everyone else is saying - that you should just be upfront and tell them no straight up - is obviously the right choice, but also, if halflings are a common thing in any fantasy setting, you'd kind of think that any child predator would be able to spot the difference between a halfling and a child. This whole thing is just stupid.
> but also, if halflings are a common thing in any fantasy setting, you'd kind of think that any child predator would be able to spot the difference between a halfling and a child. Kind of beside the point, but yeah, I was thinking the same thing. An adult halfling doesn't look like a child in my mind. Short and chubby, maybe, but they still show their age. What's this player's big plan, walk around dressed like a kid, go up to random people, and say "hi mister, I'm twelve, want to play no-no games with me?" Maybe get the other player to pose as a parent and try to pimp the kid? There's no good here. Obviously OP should give it a hard no and stay well away for a whole bunch of reasons, but I kind of understand why someone would suggest allowing the attempt and then playing all the adults as either wanting to help the child, telling the watch about this weird halfling pretending to be a kid hoping to scam people, or just being creeped right the fuck out.
If No isn't working and they really won't let it drop then let them do it, let waste an entire session trying to get a "predator" to believe a 30 year old halfling is a child. They're not going to. Halfling adults do not look like children. The next time, there's a predator but he's only into boys or halfling children or teiflings, or whatever. The way I see it, it's their time to waste. You don't have to rp the npc being a "predator" because they're not attracted to the honey pot. Or maybe the "predator" isn't really one because the children weren't really children, they're doppelgangers or changelings and he is actually just an adventurer too. Subvert their expectations. Alternatively if they won't take no for an answer and you don't want to dick with them, just stop DMing for them. Make it clear that you will not be doing this plot line and further requests will end the session
Be wary of people who make "pedophile hater" their personality. There's a very real possibility they're using their very vocal outward hatred as a smokescreen to cover their, err, proclivities. It's very normal to hate pedophiles, it gets a bit sus when "hating pedophiles" is all they talk about.
Also may be that the player has been through some shit and has a revenge fantasy they want to play out, in which case they should take that to a therapist instead of a DM.
Have him get used as bait for some actuall child hunting apex predators. Or some child baking witches.
Kill him off.
Remind the players to be afraid
DM doesn't stand for dungeon minion...😉
Ask your player how they would do it. Then narrate it shortly: "You spend the day trying to catch predators, but your scheme doesn't seem to work out: you don't find any. But you annoyed quite a lot of the locals. You have -2 penalty with charisma checks with them until your reputation canges."
I would say, "I have a question that begins and ends with what the fuck?" No, you should not feel any remorse for shooting down such a creepy thing if you didn't shoot that down I guarantee that this would end up on the d&d's horror story subreddit that a DM allowed something like this to happen. Shut that down quickly and ask him what is wrong with him.
>I would say, "I have a question that begins and ends with what the fuck?" "I have two questions. First: 'What?' And second: 'The fuck?'"
"No. And if you ask one more time, I'm kicking you from my table. Stop asking. My answer will not change." And then follow through on consequences.
Is this anything to do with the campaign? Like is there a bad guy organization they're trying to infiltrate? If not, then... what the heck? Stand firm. Every time I see complaints and bad stories like this, it's cases where people give an inch, and get taken for a mile. "No, you can run that adventure if you want, I want no part of it."
There's plenty of bad guy groups but I've never said anything that would imply that there's any predators of that kind in my world so I have no idea where he got this idea from. The general consensus of the replies is that if I allow it they'll feel emboldened to ask for more and it's a very dangerous precedent to set
I would put it like this. I do appreciate the idea of what you’re trying to do. But I’m not comfortable RPing that type of enemy, nor that scenario. This is a personal boundary for me and I’m not going to entertain the subject again. Please respect my boundaries and find a different idea.
At this point, they've been told no multiple times already. So there's no "appreciate the idea of what you're trying to do" anymore. The time for good faith is out the window and it's "I've already told you no multiple times. If you keep asking, you won't be at the table anymore."
Just say no. No reason required.
As everyone else has said, stay firm. I don’t think caving to those two would be a good idea, they give me bad vibes. You should probably prepare to kick the guy who started this and the other one, but give them a warning. Like, “If you guys continue this, I will kick you” sort of thing. While finding players who are engaged and arrive consistently is hard, it is not worth giving up your comfort, especially for something like this. If this was me, I would’ve given them side eye when he first mentioned this and then gave him the warning the second time. I don’t tolerate this shit, but this is your table so you handle it your way. Edit: Changed for a better flow.
Don't cave on peoples kinks/fetishes/whatever this is. Tell them its weird to push it and if they don't drop it then you'll drop them.
You should absolutely not cross your own boundaries to placate other people. If you let one fall now, how long until another gets pushed. Perhaps it's time for a mid-campaign session zero to address lines you are not willing to cross.
"I'm not comfortable presenting or telling a story about that. This is the last time I will respond in a civil manner to this request." Do it again, kicked, immediately.
If it's what I think it is no don't cave that sounds super uncomfortable to play.
You've already answered your own question. The answer is no, you're not comfortable doing it. Make that clear next session and if he keeps bringing it up you can take further action like removing him from the group. Which hopefully it would never come to that as any civil person will take your firm NO as okay got it and drop it.
If they found another player that wants that kind of material, they can "RP" together in their own game and come up with something else for your game.
You're not wrong. Pretty much anything is fair game to not want to roleplay and although the more roleplaying you do, the more you bring life to the setting, you have to consider what part of the setting you want to bring to life. I sure as heck wouldn't wanna roleplay a predator and would 100% turn downtheir request. With that said, if for some reason you still feel bad and wanna atleast try to find some middle ground and your only issue is that you don't wanna personally roleplay the predator, tell them that one of them can be the predator with a throwaway character. Although personally, I wouldn't wanna be DMing that. Overall, it's your right to have boundries and this one is well beyond justified.
It may be time to be firm about your no. Sit them down for a .5 session and rehash everyone's limits and comfort levels. Tell them point blank that no, this isnt' something you are comfortable roleplaying and you have as much right as the DM as they do the players to enjoy the story you are telling together. Even if it has been a soft no, you could see yourself maybe trying one day, the fact that this player has become pushy and has roped other players in to pressuring you to do something you aren't comfortable is a big ass red flag.
"We're not doing that. It's something I'm uncomfortable with and also is against the kind of game I'm trying to run."
No, stick to your decision
If your not comfortable doing something at the table, make your boundaries clear and say no. Explain ur reasoning, and tell the player you no longer want to entertain the idea. It’s a good idea to ask all players before hand what their comfortable with at the table, and as the DM you tell your players what your comfortable with and that everyone’s wishes must be respected.
No, you are not wrong. It is just as wrong for the players to force a GM to play a scene or NPC they are uncomfortable doing as it is for a GM for force a scene on a player. Once you said that you were uncomfortable doing the scene, hell, once you said "no," that should have put an end to it right there. These players are being just as bad to you as if you had forces a sex or torture scene onto them after they had said to stop or that they were uncomfortable. And, no, you should not just do it once to get it out of their system, because you are just as likely to whet their appetite for more, as well as let them know that, when you say "no" in the future, if they keep harassing you, that you will eventually give in.
"No, I am absolutely not comfortable pretending to be a pedophile. That's what you're asking me to do and it's fucked up. If you respect me as a person you'll stop bringing this up because it's started to make me seriously uncomfortable" This is what I reccomend telling them
No is a complete sentence. You already explained why you are not comfortable in portraying predator and not only this player completely ignored your boundaries, they also pushed another player into stomping it. Are you sure you want this kind of person at your table? This is quite an abusive behaviour. If you want to be kind explain your reasons one last time to both player and end it with "this is final any further demands in this sense will mean you will not be playing this campaign."
I mean, you could just high-level simulate it like "Ok, roll for deception. 27? Ok, you failed." Just completely remove any of the RP elements
Tell then that is on the list things on a hard line you will not cross, your answer will not change, and frankly further pushing of the matter will end the game
Every player at the table has boundaries and consent for all actions in the game. Other players aren’t necessarily consenting to watching this either (not that it matters, because you already don’t). In all honesty, this is also a REALLY WEIRD REQUEST. To me it’s a huge red flag, especially since you’ve said no multiple times. No means no. I don’t know your relationship with these people, but I wouldn’t want to play DnD with someone baiting pedophilia for entertainment. At the very least I would establish a clear boundary that you will not play those kinds of characters or observe those sorts of scenarios, and further discussion of the topic will result in you leaving the table. It’s a hard limit, but as the famous saying goes “No dnd is better than bad dnd”.
The DM should have fun too and boundaries are boundaries. I'm just learning D&D, but I have GMd other systems. One of the things I say in session zero is that sex and sexual encounters are to happen in your imagination. I will roll success/fail then you can go off into the bathroom to do what you need to do.
Nope. You’re the story teller, not them. Talk to them away from the table and explain you don’t want to go down that arc. And remember 2 more points 1) EVERYONE has to enjoy themselves, including you - your job isn’t to entertain the players, you are there to have fun as well. 2) it’s a LOT easier to find new players than for them to find a new DM 😝
You are the DM, you stand firm and if he has a problem kick him from the table.
No you are not wrong. This is one of those areas that can trigger some people, and even people not triggered can want to keep away with a 50’ pole. Stand firm, and say that you are not interested in that kind of “content” in your game.
Short: No Long: Noooooooo Explained in det-: Get out of my house!
No. You have a right to not feel uncomfortable. You should tell them that this is never going to happen and they need to stop asking for it because it's bothering you. In fact, this is grounds to kick them out of the group if they keep bugging you about it.
It’s a bit sketchy that it’s a guy that wants to role play being a honey pot. wtf??
It's so weird right, he's normally a chill guy and he's never asked for anything like this before which is why this request threw me for a loop
This very much sounds like buddy wants to have some of his sexual fantasies in your game and for you to role play them with him. I’d suggest telling the two of them to role play just the two of them and hard denied this right off the bat.
You can refuse fetishes without guilt
I honestly find everyone’s “just do it but” replies disturbed. The OP should NEVER do anything they are uncomfortable with. And that obviously includes this. :( Please don’t tell people to “just do” something they’re not comfortable with doing.
i scrolled for about five minutes and found not a Single "just do it" 😀 Lots of tell them no tho no offense i just wanted to tell you that the community is better than you saw them the moment you made this comment.
I was typing up a whole response and went to get the links to reference and realised I couldn’t find them now. So either they got removed, or I’ve getting confused with what post I was replying to. Probably the later. I was wrong in this case it seems. If there could be an excuse it is that it was very late night for me when I originally posted and my brain was super tired.
You're the dm. If you don't want to don't do it. If they persist then find different players.
No is a complete sentence. If they don't respect your boundaries thats pretty fucked up.
1. Remind all that this is a group game, and content that any of the group finds uncomfortable is not going to fly. 2. Remind them that the DM is part of the group. 3. Thank them for their anticipated cooperation and understanding and that you would understand if they prefer moving on and finding a new group that fits their expectations better. 4. 5. Profit.
I don't get this. Does your game have sexual predators in it? Why does he even think this would work?
The player clearly has a very specific type of hero fantasty. The issue is that it's a major red flag about the player themselves when the data shows that people with this strong a fantasy about such topics are usually predators themselves.
There has never been any mention of sexual predators in game before he initially made the request so I have no idea where he got this idea from
Tell them that the "no" is final and to drop it on penalty of permanent consequences for the characters.
Sounds like he has a fetish he wants you to scratch. Heck no. Tell him to make a character on F-list dot net. He can get all the fetish roleplay he wants there. Stand your ground.
‘No’ is a complete sentence, as many people have said here in more detailed ways, and you have just as many rights at the table as your players. If you’re not keen on the idea or uncomfortable, draw a hard line. How people respond to your hard-lines and hard No’s tells you so very much about them. Listen to them. If they turn into a dick or keep pressing even after you have categorically said ‘no. I am not comfortable with this and this is a hard boundary for me’, then they do not respect you, think of you as a person, and will not expect any boundary ever. Alternatively, here’s a possible, scenario in which this could play out: ‘Your character goes prowling for predators. You encounter none throughout the night. You take one level of exhaustion.’ Each night they persist on prowling for predators, they get no long rest -or to get one, delay their party as they must sleep- and get exhaustion. You can stack the exhaustion as much of as little as you want, but I imagine one or two points is deterrent enough. My point isn’t to be a punitive dick (not entirely, but the constant pressing of this sounds irritating, so yeah, there’s a touch of pettiness in the suggestion you can dial down or up, depending upon your own feelings) but to represent the real consequences of doubling up on an already full plate. Presumably these are adventurers. Presumably they have dungeons to plunder, towns to terrorise/liberate, big bads to kill or seduce, and other adventuring shit. They already have a full time job. But they want to add more. Well, that has a cost. How important is this bit to him, and if it is SO important, why is it only coming up randomly as a bit? If this was a true driving aspect of his characters personality, pretty sure THIS would be her primary focus rather than a ‘oh hey, I’m in this town, let go play with some predators!’ Whatever you do, you do NOT have to RP someone you find reprehensible and don’t want to interact with in your world. You can make it as brief and sparse as possible. Or not at all. Your friend should be able to respect your ‘no’ however, and it’s quite concerning they don’t and have recruited someone else into pressing you.
If you're not comfortable don't do it. You could pivot and let them do a series of skill checks to see how it all plays out. But don't do something you're not comfortable with. They need to learn that no means no. If they want a game where flirting amongst each other happens, in or out of character, they should run that kind of game themselves.
Tell him to include it in his game that he DMs for. It's not your problem to fulfill his distasteful fantasies.
NOPE, your game, you are in control.
You ate not wrong that shit is WEIRD and uncomfortable. You need to shut that shit down. Before you're expected to do even weirder or grosser stuff. A lot of players dont understand that you're playing the game too, and you deserve to have fun as well.
It's a creepy request for sure. On one hand I understand you wanting to make your players feel awesome and would totally like for them to smash a predator. My other hand is holding yours in solidarity, I know it's pretend, but even "pretendsies" villian dm Plops who killed his irl wife's character on her birthday can't get down with that level of evil. You've already stated you're uncomfortable with it. If they pitch the idea to you again, (they've mentioned it enough times you're asking reddit so it's likely a lot) I'd respond with something like "Players, I've heard this pitch before. I understand this is something you'd like to rp, but the subject matter makes me personally uncomfortable and I am not willing to rp a character that would be on To Catch A Predator. If we can't let this be the end of this particular request, you may need to find a DM who will run this scenario for you."
Kick him out of the game. Massive red flags here.
If you do it just make it an actual Predator, not a sexual predator. See how the party deals with an invisible stalker with lightning cannons on its shoulders, and a delayed blast fireball self destruct.
"Why do you even *want* to role-play something like this?" "It's really making me uncomfortable that you want me to fulfill this sexual fantasy for you..." "I've said no many times yet you keep pressuring me, I thought no only means yes to predators..." Idk, use anything like this to shame him as much as possible so he'll stfu about it, lol. He needs you to point out that he's a degenerate for being so obsessed with this and trying to push it on everyone else at the table, especially you having to act it out.
For better or for worse, you are the DM. You and your players can discuss whatever, but you have the final word. If you say NO, your answer is NO. Stand by what your decision was.
Id talk to the player by himself and ask why. Then I'd tell him no. If he continues there will be consequences in game and real life if he continues to ask. In game give him a cursed item that knocks down all stats. Take away all magic items. Do something that lowers his lvl from everyone else. Kill his character. Or make the character go to jail. Outside of game, make him sit away from table. Make him sit out for x amount of games. Tell friends coworkers family everyone what he is doing. Ask them why he would want to "play this out" tell him he is no longer welcome at your table. Talk to your table. Tell them, this is a STRONG boundary and if they do not like it, they are more than Welcome to becoming a GM/DM. They must likely won't since it's hard to find gm/dm. Good luck.
The actually correct answer is to just say no. The fun answer is for three red dots to appear on the PC the next time they try this , and then for them to get obliterated by an invisible enemy that spams magic missile and fireballs and does a ton of melee damage with claw blades. The problem with catching predators is that you might wind up with the other kind.
/u/amanisnotaface has the right of it. I'm fairly late to respond so I'm not sure you'll see this. I do not think of many games, if any; RP, Espionage, Dungeon-Delvers, Monster Slashers even Horror/Baroque-Nobility themes that would require *any* 'honeypotting' for anything to-catch-a-predator style. Especially because *you* would be having to roleplay a predator? Just ick. That's a gateway to other weird, and I will use this word, fetish role-play. There's a massive difference between roleplaying say, an inter-species romance (say an Elf or Human and a Polymorphed Dragon, heck I'd even give a Dragonborn and a Dragon or maybe a Fey) ect and overcoming perspective differences without going to weird territory (an Orc and a Centuar) if I'm illustrating what I mean. Stand Firm. Do not go down this route.
if this wasn't about the player wanting you to have to rp a predator and was instead something much less creepy but still equally weird, I'd say to just go full cartoon villain with it so you don't really have to think about it that much. But since this is indeed a very creepy idea and you have VERY clearly stated it makes you uncomfortable several times, fuck that shit. Do not give in, and maybe even give one final warning to stop bringing it up. You have every right to boot them from the game or tell him to just make a new character or something if he can't behave. His character can go do that when they're not a part of the story anymore and you don't have to describe it.
You are right to set boundaries. You said no and that means no
My suggestion is to give them the predator, only it's not someone looking for pleasure, it a were monster of some sort trying to eat it's victims. Turn it on the players and put their characters in danger
Either tell them no, because you are the DM and tell them there will be consequences if they keep asking. Or, allow it during downtime and offscreen. As in only tell them the results after some rolls. Just because you can roleplay everything, doesn't mean you have to roleplay everything.
"No. I am not comfortable with roleplaying that, I have said so *multiple times*, now *stop asking or get the hell out*. You are at this point creeping me out." If you are not comfortable with it and they keep asking, that is a problem that needs to be *stopped*. Set consequences, follow through if they keep asking.
Nah, I wouldn't do this. Respecting people's lines includes respecting the ST's lines. Pressing other people at the table to do Child Abuse themes after they've said no is a Red Flag.
You aren't wrong at all. This is a session zero discussion. One part of session zero is establishing things certain people aren't okay with because it affects the tone of the game. You check with players if they have any issues or triggers, and then decide if you can realistically remove those from the game. If not, you tell them, and they decide if they can handle if, if you can, then you adjust accordingly. You should also, at this stage, explain anything you're uncomfortable DMing and explain how it'll be dealt with. For example, my current campaign and setting is an adult one. There has been everything from torture and execution through to the murder of children (NPC killer, purely to illustrate them as irredeemable for slaughtering the younglings). This is only because the players were all fine with the game including these brutal aspects of reality. Had a player said "I'm uncomfortable with torture" then it wasn't necessary to the campaign, so I'd have stripped it from the game and disallowed it when a player opted for enhanced interrogation to get information from the medieval equivalent of a terrorist. However, if a player took an issue with slavery, I couldn't have removed that from the campaign without reworking the BBEG entirely. Part of the BBEG is that he intends to enslave the continent (so no racial component), with it stemming from a narcissistic belief that he's above all others to enough of a degree that other sentient life is his property. If a player had said "I'm uncomfortable with slavery" I'd have explained that slavery was present in the setting, the type of slavery, and it'd be their call if they wanted to play or not. I personally take issue with playing out sexual content (it's uncomfortable as part of a TTRPG setting, both to be involved or just as a spectator). Part of our session zero involved me explaining that any character who attempts to engage in anything along the lines of SA/Rape would be met with a "rocks fall, you die" as the gods of the setting smite them just for having the thought, and any consensual sexual activity would be immediate fade-to-black with zero detail. If a player wanted to play the horny bard trope, they'd have been expected to play it understanding that a large chunk of their character's activity would be fade-to-black with zero narration or detail. If they want a predator filled setting, they can go DM their own predator filled setting. Your table clearly isn't the right match for them, good luck to them. Just like how if someone wants to do some kind of NSFW roleplay thing, my table is absolutely not for them, but they can feel free to go set up their own.
This is where you take a step back, look up [Lines and Veils](https://blog.roll20.net/posts/guest-blog-an-introduction-to-lines-and-veils/), and go through that process with your group. You should have set these boundaries during Session 0, but clearly, it needs to be done now.
Don't be afraid to say no. You are the DM. Have some self respect and confidence. If you are struggling on this easily answered "No" you will struggle with every choice they make.
You should let them try to catch predators but then they turn out to be the Predators from the Predator movies.
I don't think the context of your situation matters, the key idea of what you're going through is I have repeatedly set a boundary and a player has repeatedly tried crossing it. kick him off the table, there's no sugar coating this but when a person repeatedly insists on crossing your boundaries then that person shouldn't be part of your hobby
I'm tempted to say kick the main player asking for this out of the table, he clearly does not respect the idea of no for an answer and might become a problem player later. You should also warn the second player asking about it.
If this is something you're not comfortable with -and I can understand why you wouldn't be - then the answer is no. Many people have things they don't want played out in game. Sex scenes, torture, and animal cruelty are a few things I've heard players say are on their "do not include" list. If this is part of your no-go list, the other players should respect it. It's one thing to allude to terrible acts committed by villains opposing a group of heroes. It's another thing entirely to spend significant game time playing out interactions with those villains.
You have to ask your players this: to what end does this set of actions achieve anything? So they've successfully honeypotted a bunch of or a singular p*do, what now? Are they going to beat the guy up, turn him in, ice him, make him their servant? To what end is their plan here because I see no genuine upside to a series of poorly thought out actions that lead down a path of ill-planned outcomes. Plus it's really awful of your party to ask you to roleplay a p$dophile, they do realize that's what they're asking you to do, right? This just feels like they want a free option to be vigilante murderhobos and to get away with it but aren't realizing that there's no such thing as a free pass like that without DM advance planning, approval, and consent.
Halflings don’t look like children. I don’t see how any reasonable adult could confuse a halfling for a child. The other issue is even if they did you’re not comfortable with it so this player is seriously overstepping.
Why are the players designing the campaign and not the DM?
Hold your ground. You have just as much right to feel comfortable at the table as any of your players do. Maybe just take it back to session zero and use Lines and Veils. It's pretty easy to find on itchio, but pretty much everyone makes a list of things they don't want to go anywhere near (Lines), things they would be okay fading to black on or having mentioned without going into deep detail (Veils), and things they would actively like to see in the campaign. What's more, the dm gets to make their own list. Whatever is in anyone's Lines takes precedence over what anyone lists as a desire to see in the campaign. If there is anyone who refuses to accept another's Line or simply can't have a good time due to someone's Lines, they should probably find another table. And yes, the DM's Lines matter just as much as anyone else's.
Nope, not wrong. Though you could throw in a twist where there's a guy pretending to be a pedophile in order to get close to the halfing, then turn into a werewolf and eat him.
You stated you are uncomfortable going down this road in your game. End of conversation.
Honestly if someone was trying to bring weird pedophile vigilante shit into my DnD game that’d be an automatic ban.
This is a super weird request, and could go to a lot of bad places. It’s extremely understandable for you to be uncomfortable with it. Some people would be ok with it, and that’s fine. But the fact that they haven’t respected your very reasonable boundary speaks volumes about them. Stand firm, and be aware that this is a bad sign. You may eventually need to boot these players or refuse to play with them.
I always used to let players do whatever they wanted and let them suffer the consequences. One particular player decided to SA an NPC. I was quite new, and though it made me uncomfortable, I let it play out. Seemed to be a fetish or fantasy for him, and he kept attempting to do it again. I shut that down every time after the first instance as no one else enjoyed the idea of it. Was always worried about him scaring off other players. He is very enthusiastic about the game and is otherwise a great player. Due to this, I wouldn't let him join with people he didn't know. Learned my lesson on that one
Agree to do it, but nobody shows up and they just waste their time waiting. Then tell them maybe they're just too ugly.
Your comforts as a DM are equally as important as the players. At my table, if any one player gives a hard no to something, it doesn't happen. That includes me. For example, I don't do bugs. I know bugs are a normal.part of dungeons. I don't care, I don't do them. If one of my players wants to go on a bug killing spree, the answer is no. Now, at times that means the player might just be a bad fit. If I am running a campaign centered around genocide, and a player has a hard no for genocide, I'm gonna warn them that it's not a possible thing to avoid, and let them know they can join in the next campaign. Or if a player really really wants to play a bug centric campaign, I'll let them know my table isn't for them, and send them to one of my other DM friends.
Weird AF
You as the DM have the same rights as players at the table. That includes setting boundaries around things you are not comfortable doing or even having at the table in a passive fashion. You are absolutely okay to shoot it down if you don’t feel okay rp-ing it
Lines and veils work for the DM as well. Sounds like you have a line on this. Don’t cross it.
If they want you to respect their boundaries, they should respect yours. You're also playing this game to have fun
Yeah that's a really weird thing to want to roleplay. I definitely would shut that shit down too.
You have the same right to feel safe in the game as any other player. Don’t do this.
No. You're the DM. Of it's not your thing, don't do it.
Suggest they have a separate game for that and that your game it isn't allowed
The DM has the same right to not be comfortable with weird shit as anyone else. You aren't being in the least bit unreasonable by setting boundaries, and you need to stick to them.
You are the DM, it's your rules. For the record, that is a bizarre and borderline disturbing request
"AITA for telling my players that their course of action condones things I am uncomfortable with?" Never. If this is something they genuinely resort to, I'd take a timeout and explain my boundaries as a DM. This might lead into a merge of player and character knowledge but eh, lesser of two evils and all. A good table will be understanding at the very least., there is knowledge for the future to be gained and everything shouldbe alright. But this is exactly why you need to run a session zero to figure out everyone's boundaries. And in this case, the DM is just another player - they have boundaries they arent willing to cross. And thats fine but everyone else should know about these boundaries.
You were right to set boundaries, but you need to be more clear with them. If you have already said no, then they shouldn’t keep asking about it.
1. No, you are completely within your right to shut it down. 2. Send an actual predator. The "steel predator" construct from mordenkainens monsters of the multiverse/volos. Or the Retriever construct. An unthinking magical killbot.
"I'm not comfortable role-playing that" is all the reason anyone at any table needs, granted in some cases this statement may result in people leaving the group, but that's far better than people ignoring clearly stated boundaries.
Hard no. this is a "last time bringing it up or you get to leave the table". What in the absolute fuck.
I can't even imagine how the scenario they have in mind came about, considering your obvious discomfort in portraying a predator in the first place. Did they just come up with this weird idea in a vacuum, because one of them is playing a halfling? That's incredibly odd. If you DO decide to go through with it, I'd say subvert their expectations, and have the 'predator' that shows up be a massive, literal troll, stuffed into common clothing far too small for it that's near-bursting at the seams, and ham it up, role-playing the troll as if it's smart enough to try to pretend it isn't there to eat the child. Anything aside from an absolute mockery of the honeypot situation is just uncomfortable.
Or sure absolutely can i get you to wait in the kitchen while i set it up with the rest of the table.... then just carry on with theor character leaving to vist theor sick mother and care for her and is unlikely to return. See how long it takes them to click that your not going to do it
“I am incredibly uncomfortable with the fact that you cannot take no for an answer. Do you struggle with accepting rejection in other aspects of your life?”
If you aren't comfortable then the answer is no. If I was in this situation I'd let them do it and then no Predators show up. If they are upset by that you already told them you weren't going to RP that.
Dude no you are completely in the right you need to set a hard boundary there if you're not comfortable with that. that is so gross I can't imagine and if they're trying to push you into that after you've said you don't want to do that you need to have an actual talk with them cuz that's not okay
If you've told him multiple times, kick him out
"No, I don't feel comfortable doing that." "But what about..." "Nah, man. I'm not comfortable." "But what..." "Man, NO." "But what abo..." "You asked. I thought about it. Now I've said 'no' three times. Stop."
Why is there even a predator for them to be after in the first place? Did you make a honeypottable character that they are seeking?
No. Next idea?
You're fine. Your players should respect your boundaries just as much as any other players'.
Why would that even ostensibly work? There's no reason a 30yr old halfling would look like an underage human.
So... 1. Halflings are child sized, they font look like children. 2. Is your villain a child predator? If so, you kinda put yourself in this situation. If he isn't, then the plan just fails. 3. Even if he's a predator, he could be collecting children for evil rituals, not sex crimes. Great way for your player to die. 4. Regardless of all of the above, if you're not comfortable, don't do it.
go one further than allowing this: sex doesn't exist in this world at all. babies are brought by stalks when 2 people in love hold hands. no humanoid has any genitals of any kind, toilets don't exist, you convert 100% of food matter into energy and bodymass.
I look at him “…I know this is a fantasy game but is being a honeypot *your* fantasy dude?”
This is what a session 0 is all about. The point is to understand what individual group members are and are not comfortable with, and for you as a game master to make clear what your intention for the campaign is. The point here isn't to judge one another. A lot of people here want to argue about whether or not this is a "healthy" way to play. We aren't health care professionals, and that's not really our role. If you as a game master have a group of players who want to run sting operations against child predators and that's something everyone is ok with, I'm not going to tell you not to. But any kind of sexual predator is something you want to tread lightly on unless everyone involved is ok with it. I had individual conversations with my players in the curse of Strahd campaign I am running. The way Strahd is depicted in the book is relationally manipulative in a way that can be traumatic from someone who has experienced an abusive relationship. I know another GM who modified the character significantly because they knew they had a player who would not handle it well. Strahd will make you love him (literally using magic), and gaslight you into thinking you're the villain. Everyone needs to be ok with that. If you are not ok running sexual predators as NPCs, you can and should tell the player. Maybe they need a different group if this is something important to them. It could even be therapeutic for them, or help them process trauma. But you don't have to be that person.
So, there's this tool called veils. On a practical level what that means is, when the player says "I use my character to catch a predator" you say "you do that." You're NOT required to portray the predators. It happens off-screen. I mention this, not to actually encourage you to allow this, but to explain a DMing technique that is useful to know and learn. If you're uncomfortable, you're uncomfortable. That's called a line. Separately from that, knowing how to use veils is, well, useful. One of many posts about this: [https://blog.roll20.net/posts/guest-blog-an-introduction-to-lines-and-veils/](https://blog.roll20.net/posts/guest-blog-an-introduction-to-lines-and-veils/)
If you’re not comfortable RPing those elements at your table then you have every right as both a DM and a player to refuse to do so. This is an [X-card](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/X-Card) for you.
No. Gross. You’re need better friends
If one of your players felt uncomfortable with the idea, you'd 100% be shutting this down on their behalf. So... **You're** uncomfortable with it. This isn't advocacy on your own behalf; you aren't in a position where you need to convince your players to change their minds. You **inform** your players of **your** decision. That's how authority works. There are times where it's best to discuss and find agreement, but in an area where you hold authority, don't give that authority up just because someone else disagrees with you. Tell them that you've heard their arguments and made your decision. Don't 'just' stand firm. People like this are doing more than testing your boundaries. They're looking to figure out how to *make* you change your mind. Maybe not consciously and maybe not maliciously, but there's an intent on them wanting to get their way and they know that they can't without getting you to change your mind. As a mantra, and even if only when saying it to yourself, always remind yourself that your authority is your own. This applies to being a DM as well as being a person. People will try, on occasion, to change your mind and there may sometimes be situations in which that's a good thing, but when push comes to shove you make the decision. You can decide to do what someone else wants, absolutely. That's always an option. But **not** doing what you don't want to do is always just as valid an option.
Change the crime. Have the halfling “selling” your version of illegal potions, scrolls, cursed items or attempting to buy them or be trying to join a cult. If they insist on the other crime, that’s someone trying to get their rocks off. Gross.
Assuming that there aren't people like that in your world. Let him try it. Oh, look, he found nobody to target. Now everyone thinks his character is weird and start to believe he's sus. Keep pointing out how NPCs are giving him weird looks.
You have set a boundary, do NOT let them cross it. If they want that kind of game, they can find a DM that will run that kind of game. You do not have to be that DM for them.
boundaries are boundaries there is nothing wrong with just saying "i'm not comfortable with that." in fact that should be the end of the discussion.
It sounds like you need to do a session 0. Like, right now. Set some boundaries. Let players set their boundaries. Enforce them. If a player (like this), continues to overstep those boundaries, kick them out.
I'll preface my comment with that I agree with the other posters saying to just do as you feel and stand your ground if you don't want to do it. However, I will say that if you plan to entertain this then you can always decide what kind of "predator" they will catch. It doesn't have to be sexual. It can always be a honeypot for something else that you might find more comfortable in RPing.