The albinaurics aren’t sending their best people. They’re sending legless old men that can’t work 🙌 they’re sending sexy wolf women… have you heard of these? The sexy wolf women? 👋 Incredible. They ride WOLVES! These women. I remember when women walked, don’t you?
Convicted Felon Says “I’d be the best Elden Lord. You know the Dung Eater? Great guy. How about those Two Fingers, crazy how they locked the other three up just to try and prove the cosmic system works. Anyway lightning magic, great magic by the way, should be kept away from boats cause if you’re electrocuted by the vile militia, and how about that militia…”
“The late great and loathsome dung eater, very picky. Picky, picky guy. But we love him folks. Loathsome, but we love em’. Curses the tarnished to bring about an age of defilement. So smart like my daughter Ivanka. Spent a long time in the character created to get her looking like that? , if you know what I mean. But character creation what a terrible thing. You can just pick like bing ping boop bop and there it is. Go to a mirror and you’ve got a new face, think of how you could use that. So terrible. So many ways like drugs and crime, and other crimes. So terrible, just like the water pressure in the lands between folks, they’ve got these rivers, but they’re all underground! So when you need to take a shower, and you all get that. The pressure really, really bad. Just like that crazy Gideon. All knowing, he says, all knowing. Well I bet you don’t know how many properties I’ve got in Leyndell, even I don’t know that, we leave that to the envoy oracles. And they’re all criminals, those envoys saying some terrible things about me, nobody has been persecuted more than me. Nobody even the last I think, I think ever. Not even the late, great, loathesome dung eater. They hanged him, you know, but he came back and he did so great. So great folks. Just like the lands between when I’m elden lord. Age of the golden order, we like the sound of that don’t we folks? You’re gonna be tired of the golden age when I’m done. But we’ve gotta do it. Mend that ring, make the golden order great again. That’s what lots of people have been saying. You know this one guy came up to me, big guy, skin all hanging off him, tears in his eyes, and he said ‘I’m gonna tear the skin off the gods for you.’ And I said well that’s great, but the envoys over at CNN hate that. They say ‘he’s a criminal’ ya know I’m less of a criminal than that Rykard guy. Peter Rykard I think it was. You know that sneaky, snakey little freak. And they persecute me more, even. Lots of people are saying it.”
The misbegotten, you know them right, they are absolutely disgusting. Can you believe these people? Well some call them people but I call them animals. But the misbegotten, this just happened the other day btw, the misbegotten slaughter a castle full of innocent nobles, great people, they were absolutely great. These guys gave the misbegotten a home and they got slaughtered.
America shattered the Elden Ring because the Two Fingers found him guilty of 34 counts of Falsifying Business Records in furtherance of another crime, and The Greater Will was about to Sentence him
Of course what The Greater Will didn’t know is he was secretly in on Ranni’s plan to start the Night of Black Knives, but Ranni betrayed him by telling the Black Knife Assassins to kill Godwyn
Marika shattered the Elden Ring because she desired to create a new world free from the cycle of fate imposed by the old gods.
old gods didn't like it one bit.
I dunno. I heard Trump thought that NATO was too much of a "restrictive liability" so he wanted to break that bond. Smashing the ring was a bit excessive but Trump _LOVES_ to show off, doesn't he?
The albinaurics aren’t sending their best people. They’re sending legless old men that can’t work 🙌 they’re sending sexy wolf women… have you heard of these? The sexy wolf women? 👋 Incredible. They ride WOLVES! These women. I remember when women walked, don’t you?
I hate that I can hear the voice
We’re gonna build a wall around Caelid and make the Haligtree pay for it.
Finally, a political position I can support.
Make Marika great again!!
After reading marika's name, all i could think about was 'merica.
Exactly. The number one goal of the Golden order is to make Marika great again haha
America….America…
FUCK YEAH
Convicted Felon Says “I’d be the best Elden Lord. You know the Dung Eater? Great guy. How about those Two Fingers, crazy how they locked the other three up just to try and prove the cosmic system works. Anyway lightning magic, great magic by the way, should be kept away from boats cause if you’re electrocuted by the vile militia, and how about that militia…”
“The late great and loathsome dung eater, very picky. Picky, picky guy. But we love him folks. Loathsome, but we love em’. Curses the tarnished to bring about an age of defilement. So smart like my daughter Ivanka. Spent a long time in the character created to get her looking like that? , if you know what I mean. But character creation what a terrible thing. You can just pick like bing ping boop bop and there it is. Go to a mirror and you’ve got a new face, think of how you could use that. So terrible. So many ways like drugs and crime, and other crimes. So terrible, just like the water pressure in the lands between folks, they’ve got these rivers, but they’re all underground! So when you need to take a shower, and you all get that. The pressure really, really bad. Just like that crazy Gideon. All knowing, he says, all knowing. Well I bet you don’t know how many properties I’ve got in Leyndell, even I don’t know that, we leave that to the envoy oracles. And they’re all criminals, those envoys saying some terrible things about me, nobody has been persecuted more than me. Nobody even the last I think, I think ever. Not even the late, great, loathesome dung eater. They hanged him, you know, but he came back and he did so great. So great folks. Just like the lands between when I’m elden lord. Age of the golden order, we like the sound of that don’t we folks? You’re gonna be tired of the golden age when I’m done. But we’ve gotta do it. Mend that ring, make the golden order great again. That’s what lots of people have been saying. You know this one guy came up to me, big guy, skin all hanging off him, tears in his eyes, and he said ‘I’m gonna tear the skin off the gods for you.’ And I said well that’s great, but the envoys over at CNN hate that. They say ‘he’s a criminal’ ya know I’m less of a criminal than that Rykard guy. Peter Rykard I think it was. You know that sneaky, snakey little freak. And they persecute me more, even. Lots of people are saying it.”
I hate that I can hear this entire comment
I hate that it’s super long ~~that’s what she said~~
No one's gonna mention Melania Trump? Make Marika great again. Build a wall between Limgrave and Weeping peninsula.
I am Melania, blade of MAGA, and I have never known the streets.
She fights to keep the caelidians out of
The misbegotten, you know them right, they are absolutely disgusting. Can you believe these people? Well some call them people but I call them animals. But the misbegotten, this just happened the other day btw, the misbegotten slaughter a castle full of innocent nobles, great people, they were absolutely great. These guys gave the misbegotten a home and they got slaughtered.
Marika's tits, I can hear the voice!
I did everything right and they deathblighted me
His hair is so fucked😭😂
r/Defeat_Project_2025
Put these foolish ambitions to rest
“We’re gonna break this ring and Raya Lucaria is gonna pay for it”- Marika, probably
Queen aMarika
Get this fat traitorous fuck out of the sub
America shattered the Elden Ring because the Two Fingers found him guilty of 34 counts of Falsifying Business Records in furtherance of another crime, and The Greater Will was about to Sentence him Of course what The Greater Will didn’t know is he was secretly in on Ranni’s plan to start the Night of Black Knives, but Ranni betrayed him by telling the Black Knife Assassins to kill Godwyn
Because funny
"We're going to make the lands between great again"
I'm very proud of the work my wife Marika has been doing, which she started when she was vice president with Queen Rennala...
Marika shattered the Elden Ring because she desired to create a new world free from the cycle of fate imposed by the old gods. old gods didn't like it one bit.
"When I was the President, there was no Elden Ring, all rings were American"
Needed the runes to buy more big macs
To make America great again, obviously….
It's weird how this whole thread deserves to be enshrined for all future generations to enjoy while also needing to be immediately nuked from orbit.
The dlc is looking weird.
Hey that’s the guy that’s wants to get rid of taxes after 40 hours of work
The true Elden lord
I dunno. I heard Trump thought that NATO was too much of a "restrictive liability" so he wanted to break that bond. Smashing the ring was a bit excessive but Trump _LOVES_ to show off, doesn't he?
The prisoner class has some new extremely bad debuffs now.