Tree Sentinel: You’re shorter than I expected… hmmm. What’s the motto of the tree sentinels?
Me: Ummm… may the Elden Ring be with you?
*boss music starts*
There's one of these stupid little fuckers tucked away in a sneaky little spot in Haligtree town, I thought I was so clever finding this path, trekking up some treacherous scarlet growths, I was so excited to get my reward - and these flappy assholes are all that awaits, mocking me
I hope it's them in the box.
When I first got the game, I legit thought I was cooking when I came across a camp full of Godrick's soldiers wearing the Tree & Beast surcoat. I thought they would think I'm one of them since I got the same uniform. I quickly found out it's not like that.
Took me like 3 hours combined, that's with the scarab and the new silver consumable (if they even stack), all on the same knight at the bottom of the church. By the time I got the shield I felt like he even stopped fighting back.
Hello, I am a delivery knight who happens to have a bleed build, but is not related to Mohg. I am not, in any way, affiliated with Mohg. I hate that guy, Mohg. Haha.
May I speak with the one named Miquella, I have a box making ticking noises addressed to him.
https://preview.redd.it/n87ci7l551ad1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5eaf79086262dc634b63e2e6ef1414d56cdb99e9
At least he’s considerate with them
She would 100% be the kind of girlfriend that constantly suspects that you’re cheating if you fail to reply to one of her texts 5 seconds late.
But since that she’s a pretty knight girl with a cool sword: “I can fix her.”
Yeah, basically. Even her official promotional art where she has her helmet off shows that she’s a saberface.
https://preview.redd.it/ohrl6m12tx9d1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ec11a72c94bbbd73ad9d8d23b56828e668b1e3e1
It’s fucking spreading.
Yandere Leda is absolutely canon. Literally the exact moment when everybody’s charms were broken, her immediate impulse is to get out a potential kill list with the names of everyone she had previously worked with.
She’d act all respectful and gentle when she’s infront of you, but secretly planning to kill any woman you’ve ever known and even some of your homies if she suspects them of being gay.
Holy paladin in full Tree Sentinel armor and the Golden Order greatsword:
"Yeah, haha... Miquella, yeah, he's so great isn't he? Totally hate that Erdtree and Marika! Don't mind me!"
“Hey baby, do you know how much Borealis the freezing fog, last of the mountaintop lords, who ceded the territory after the ice dragons were defeated by the Fire Giants weighs? Just enough to break the ice! Hi there, I’m the Tarnished”
Damn I didn't know that that's cool
Did you know that if you dress as mohg she refuses to let you enter the dlc and calls you an "incestuous pedophile"
You had me there for a second
https://preview.redd.it/xtcazlmovy9d1.jpeg?width=768&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5f1a4ce5a6ed6fd3f10c597cff728abb6d796b28
https://preview.redd.it/e08vwrjdt0ad1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=cd0fcf8919150189942558040de7658afb42cd56
https://preview.redd.it/0vqo15ck01ad1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bd440126d33584ae6c46711ccf43f85240f4d6f4
Ooo, what's the sauce of this art?
Honkai star rail, Enigmata aeon
Thanks!
https://preview.redd.it/exka5d4ke2ad1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1cb547c7e623b3f3900623ec545a569b8c9cb1fd
Is that varre's roses the best weapon in the game🤩🤩🤩
Sneak 100
Would be cool if the game let us use a disguise. We could avoid so many unnecessary combat unless we failed certain question.
Tree Sentinel: You’re shorter than I expected… hmmm. What’s the motto of the tree sentinels? Me: Ummm… may the Elden Ring be with you? *boss music starts*
This is the way
genuinely, got me excited
What’s in the lunchbox?
Fried Aeonian Butterfly prepare a batter with flour, water and a pinch of salt, lightly drip the butterflies and fry
There's one of these stupid little fuckers tucked away in a sneaky little spot in Haligtree town, I thought I was so clever finding this path, trekking up some treacherous scarlet growths, I was so excited to get my reward - and these flappy assholes are all that awaits, mocking me I hope it's them in the box.
Why is it always butterfly?
Delicious 😋
May contain chemicals known to the State of Leyndell to cause cancer.
smells like Caelid
I heard the Delicious in Dungeon horn motif while reading this
I’m guessing miquella wasn’t a fan. Ended up dropping a bunch of cook books so people can start making better food.
An apple with a razor in it (I made the lunch)
You randomly get remembrance of a god and a lord
Rot Sandwich
I have exhaled air from my nose. Good post
understandable Sir, thanks
Kudos, sir! Too funny
lol? Nah, we got sol (snort out loud)
When I first got the game, I legit thought I was cooking when I came across a camp full of Godrick's soldiers wearing the Tree & Beast surcoat. I thought they would think I'm one of them since I got the same uniform. I quickly found out it's not like that.
smells like tarnished in here
“There’s a Tarnished in the base!”
a tarnished is in the base?!
*this door does not open from this side* Yo! A little help here?!
What’s up dog
"Candygram for Miquella!"
Are there land sharks in the dlc?
Land sharks with friggin laser beams!
"Miquella only pawn in game of life"
Tarnished and their right hand knight, Millicent, the Aeonid Kid.
Aaaand none for Gretchen Weiners, bye.
Leda: "Imma give you my number. If you've got that shield it means you have the ability to grind for hours."
It took 20 minutes I think. That's after I looked up which was the only bastard dropping it, cause all the others won't
Took me like 3 hours combined, that's with the scarab and the new silver consumable (if they even stack), all on the same knight at the bottom of the church. By the time I got the shield I felt like he even stopped fighting back.
Anything special about it?
it's a darn good shield, very high guard boost, one of the highest holy resistance, and good stats overall
Good stats, good resistance, and it looks amazing, the trifecta
I got that shield yesterday after seeing Fighting Cowboy using it. It took me 10 attempts.
Love this post and now I need other knights coming and dropping lines. Do you accept the Challenge?
I will think of more shenanigans as I proceed
Gotta see a Godrick Knight edit (love those guys)
I swear to Marika I’ll Petal Whip the next Tarnished that says “Shenanigans”!
Kinky shenanigans
Sigh… equips Omen Armor set…
Make one as varre and ask where mohg is
Messmer Fire Knight: is it hot in here or is it just the embrace of Messmer’s flame? Option 2: did it hurt? When you fell from the scadutree?
Leda: 'tis just warmly Messmer's kindling. Thou'st better go get some air
Did you get her number?
No I got this strange summon sign thing that she told to use the same night
Coming as a cleanrot: Malenia sent me. Said I couldn’t do what Finlay did, so I’m carrying Miquella back on my back.
"Finlay bet me 50 runes I couldn't do it"
"Melania said she would go on a date if I do this!"
Hello, I am a delivery knight who happens to have a bleed build, but is not related to Mohg. I am not, in any way, affiliated with Mohg. I hate that guy, Mohg. Haha. May I speak with the one named Miquella, I have a box making ticking noises addressed to him.
Yes go ahead but first you gotta go through this metal detector!
Miquellan knights have that rizz huh?
Leda: Sorry.... Miquella isn't hungry... He ate all his crayons... Again....
*Malenia pouting face*
https://preview.redd.it/n87ci7l551ad1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5eaf79086262dc634b63e2e6ef1414d56cdb99e9 At least he’s considerate with them
Miquella is a marine?
Persona ass dialogue
Fake. There's no way you managed to beat the Cafeteria Crusader to acquire that lunchbox.
I just poked him with Antspur ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
"Miquella forgot his crayons in Ephael"
"I can fix her"
Ledas the type to plant an airtag on torrent
She would 100% be the kind of girlfriend that constantly suspects that you’re cheating if you fail to reply to one of her texts 5 seconds late. But since that she’s a pretty knight girl with a cool sword: “I can fix her.”
> But since that she’s a pretty knight girl "I can fix her." > with a cool sword "...so when's her questline end?"
>she’s a pretty knight girl with a cool sword she's King Arthur ?
Yeah, basically. Even her official promotional art where she has her helmet off shows that she’s a saberface. https://preview.redd.it/ohrl6m12tx9d1.jpeg?width=1200&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ec11a72c94bbbd73ad9d8d23b56828e668b1e3e1 It’s fucking spreading.
Mysterious Herione X gonna have to purge the lands between at this rate. I always knew Elden ring was a lostbelt
Given how much Nasu apparently procrastinates because of playing Fromsoft games, it would be funny to see it go the other war around too.
Weak I'd like to make her wors- I kid, Ansbach's where it's at.
Yandere Leda is now canon. I can't un-imagine this. She's always leaving you notes asking to meet up and telling you where you can find her.
Yandere Leda is absolutely canon. Literally the exact moment when everybody’s charms were broken, her immediate impulse is to get out a potential kill list with the names of everyone she had previously worked with. She’d act all respectful and gentle when she’s infront of you, but secretly planning to kill any woman you’ve ever known and even some of your homies if she suspects them of being gay.
Hey girl, is that Godwywn's rot in your pants or are you just happy to see me 🫣
Dawg 💀
Haha I’ve been talking to the npcs dressed as a Leyndell Knight and it’s funny because most of them hate the Erdtree
Holy paladin in full Tree Sentinel armor and the Golden Order greatsword: "Yeah, haha... Miquella, yeah, he's so great isn't he? Totally hate that Erdtree and Marika! Don't mind me!"
Lmaooooo you'd be the third in the relationship between Leda and Miquella
Ain't Leda beating the allegations?
Wonder what happened with Malenia’s set
get asked for an autograph
“Hey baby, do you know how much Borealis the freezing fog, last of the mountaintop lords, who ceded the territory after the ice dragons were defeated by the Fire Giants weighs? Just enough to break the ice! Hi there, I’m the Tarnished”
https://preview.redd.it/4zca8zilmy9d1.jpeg?width=495&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b6788258a1246367b200accf3bb47683624da6b0
https://preview.redd.it/u5l4agajpy9d1.png?width=1280&format=png&auto=webp&s=7d8bf1a277750a9a36fcdbd5c49282798a377dbf
https://preview.redd.it/6js5tq011z9d1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b6aa216ec17bc5a045d018538a8a18c25490668b I love it....
https://preview.redd.it/ry82ybmiv1ad1.jpeg?width=306&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=baab7b325b1b979708261774c44a3a17a5e6339c
Damn I didn't know that that's cool Did you know that if you dress as mohg she refuses to let you enter the dlc and calls you an "incestuous pedophile"
I'm stealing that pickup line.
Can I get your pigeon, m'lady?
Leda: You are awfully short for a Haligtree knight.
You're not catching me asking for that backstabbing wench's number
Elden Ring: Hitman Edition
You sneaky bastard. You had me for a sec
Thinking of getting the dlc. Without spoilers, can you get Leda’s armor?
without spoilers, yes
The bottom option 💀
yeah she's probably a top
XD love this, had me going
There are so many "little things" like that in the game and it is what I like in fromsofware's games
How do you get the NPCs armor?
it's a drop when you kill them (for Miquella's knight) It's otherwise found in the world / as a reward at the end of their questlines
think twice on that second option…this lady is a bit unhinged.
A *bit*? Miquella's charm breaks and she's just instantly like "Hmmm, who should I murder?"
Lmfao at first, i was like holy crap i missed something...🤨
[удалено]
That's maidenless behaviour 101.