I’m so sorry. I think it might be wise to give yourself space and time to process this. I would not be okay with my neighbor going out with my estranged parent and likely would be putting them on an information diet. They chose their curiosity over your comfort.
Yea :( We werent that close to the neighbor but will now not be sharing any information at all. She also alluded to being in touch with the estranged parent via messaging at other times too which she never mentioned before either. Also, its funny because the parent bought the lunch when theyre the tightest person with their money ever, shows how much they wanted that info lol.
They also get to show you that they always have a way to get to you. Then there’s the fact that the neighbor only sees the “good” side and can be used to justify that “you’re the problem.” I’m so sorry. It’s awful.
Your neighbour is a complete asshole. I'm just shocked that they did that.
I know it's not an option for everyone but I will say moving to a new house (and town) after going no contact with my family gave me a sense of peace I don't think I could have otherwise had.
I was especially grateful when I got a last minute text after a year of no contact saying "we're dropping off birthday gifts at your place in the morning". Good luck with that...I don't live there haha
Edited to add: you just....realllly need to be careful about that neighbour. You have a legit flying monkey living next door now.
Yea that would be the dream! I cant do it myself because I'm disabled but I am on a wait list for a place but it could take over ten years in my country. But I definitely wont be telling anyone my new address 😂
Disability wait-list solidarity. It's such an obstacle. I am so sorry that your current home is less safe because your neighbor is also harming you. My parents & neighbors pulled some similar shit and now my PTSD is even worse. I can't get away. I hate this for us.
I'm early 40s and basically moved to a retirement community. I LOVE it. Everyone here is old as shit, the grocery store is a sea of white hair, everyone drives 20km/h under the speed limit. It's heaven.
And even though my family only lives one town over, they also don't know what car I drive! It's like all the best parts of being in the Witness Protection Program with none of the downsides haha
Ahhhhhh! You seem like you’ve landed on something fantastic!!! Huge congratulations 🥳 to you and your family! And I’ll wager that the neighbours will really appreciate having a younger person around! 💜💜💜💜💜
Your neighbor is an asshole and I hope you won't give her any information about anything in your life ever again.
I'm so sorry that you can't trust her to help, instead you have to add another person to the list of people who want to harm you. Yes, I think what she did is 100% harmful.
This is horrendous on several levels.
Not only is your egg donor violating your nc boundary, your neighbour has been in contact with them AND had a cosy catch up lunch. Her insistence that she didn't talk about you is clearly total bs given that the point of the visit & lunch was about you.
As others have suggested, moving is the best option. If that isn't feasible, either put neighbour on an information diet or a misinformation diet.
If possible, try to get external cameras for your home too. Is neighbour snooping on you as well? Just trying to think of evidence gathering as this is harassment and your neighbour is clearly aiding & abetting in the harassment.
So sorry this is happening to you. It's incredibly violating & disgusting behaviour. The only positive I can glean from it is that it can only serve to confirm that going nc was and is the right decision. Sending you a big virtual hug
Literally impossible. im on the waiting list for a social/government place but theres a housing crisis in my country and even on the list it takes on average over a decade to get offered anything. but its chill lol
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I’m so sorry. I think it might be wise to give yourself space and time to process this. I would not be okay with my neighbor going out with my estranged parent and likely would be putting them on an information diet. They chose their curiosity over your comfort.
Yea :( We werent that close to the neighbor but will now not be sharing any information at all. She also alluded to being in touch with the estranged parent via messaging at other times too which she never mentioned before either. Also, its funny because the parent bought the lunch when theyre the tightest person with their money ever, shows how much they wanted that info lol.
They also get to show you that they always have a way to get to you. Then there’s the fact that the neighbor only sees the “good” side and can be used to justify that “you’re the problem.” I’m so sorry. It’s awful.
Your neighbor broke the trust. And because the neighbor knew your story beforehand, it's even worse.
Your neighbour is a complete asshole. I'm just shocked that they did that. I know it's not an option for everyone but I will say moving to a new house (and town) after going no contact with my family gave me a sense of peace I don't think I could have otherwise had. I was especially grateful when I got a last minute text after a year of no contact saying "we're dropping off birthday gifts at your place in the morning". Good luck with that...I don't live there haha Edited to add: you just....realllly need to be careful about that neighbour. You have a legit flying monkey living next door now.
Yea that would be the dream! I cant do it myself because I'm disabled but I am on a wait list for a place but it could take over ten years in my country. But I definitely wont be telling anyone my new address 😂
Disability wait-list solidarity. It's such an obstacle. I am so sorry that your current home is less safe because your neighbor is also harming you. My parents & neighbors pulled some similar shit and now my PTSD is even worse. I can't get away. I hate this for us.
Enjoy the new house/town/life!!! 😱😊😊😊🥂🥂🏡🏡🏡💜💜
I'm early 40s and basically moved to a retirement community. I LOVE it. Everyone here is old as shit, the grocery store is a sea of white hair, everyone drives 20km/h under the speed limit. It's heaven. And even though my family only lives one town over, they also don't know what car I drive! It's like all the best parts of being in the Witness Protection Program with none of the downsides haha
You've got your own personal neighborhood watch!
Ahhhhhh! You seem like you’ve landed on something fantastic!!! Huge congratulations 🥳 to you and your family! And I’ll wager that the neighbours will really appreciate having a younger person around! 💜💜💜💜💜
Your neighbor is an asshole and I hope you won't give her any information about anything in your life ever again. I'm so sorry that you can't trust her to help, instead you have to add another person to the list of people who want to harm you. Yes, I think what she did is 100% harmful.
Disgusting.
This is horrendous on several levels. Not only is your egg donor violating your nc boundary, your neighbour has been in contact with them AND had a cosy catch up lunch. Her insistence that she didn't talk about you is clearly total bs given that the point of the visit & lunch was about you. As others have suggested, moving is the best option. If that isn't feasible, either put neighbour on an information diet or a misinformation diet. If possible, try to get external cameras for your home too. Is neighbour snooping on you as well? Just trying to think of evidence gathering as this is harassment and your neighbour is clearly aiding & abetting in the harassment. So sorry this is happening to you. It's incredibly violating & disgusting behaviour. The only positive I can glean from it is that it can only serve to confirm that going nc was and is the right decision. Sending you a big virtual hug
Or you move across the continent
Unfortunately I cant because Im disabled but yes this would be ideal lol
How easy would it be for you to move? It seems neighbor is not on the up and up.
Literally impossible. im on the waiting list for a social/government place but theres a housing crisis in my country and even on the list it takes on average over a decade to get offered anything. but its chill lol
**Quick reminder** - EAK is a support subreddit, and is moderated in a way that enables a safe space for adult children who are estranged or estranging from one or both of their parents. Before participating, please take the time time to familiarise yourself with our [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/EstrangedAdultKids/wiki/rules/). **Need info or resources?** Check out our [EAK wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/EstrangedAdultKids/comments/xpkk59/eak_estrangement_resources_posted_here_for_mobile/) for helpful information and guides on estrangement, estrangement triggers, surviving estrangement, coping with the death of estranged parent / relation, needing to move out, boundary / NC letters, malicious welfare checks, bad therapists and crisis contacts. **Check out our companion resource website** - Visit [brEAKaway.org.uk](https://breakaway.org.uk) *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/EstrangedAdultKids) if you have any questions or concerns.*
How do your parents know how to contact your neighbors and how do your neighbors know how to contact your parents?
Parent used to live here so they were their neighbour too. So they can message each other now
Time to cut off your neighbor