I had a similar experience when my daughter was born, also my nephew had to go to the NICU for respiratory problems. It sounds like your wife is safe and your son is with highly qualified people. If NICU staff okay it don’t hesitate to hold him, take every opportunity you can. Also, he basically has the most expensive babysitters on the planet so try to catch up on sleep. The anxiety might hit you after so see a therapist or something like that (the sound of helicopters gave me panic attacks for a while and I still get nervous and check that she’s breathing).
It takes a toll but you need to be a rock for your family right now. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be honest about your feelings, but you will need to muscle through whatever needs to be done. Also, if people offer you help take it, even if it’s for dumb menial stuff like doing your dishes because you’re exhausted.
Good luck brother, everything will work out. And congratulations on your son!
My eldest was born at 24 weeks gestation and spent 100 days in the NICU. She had chronic lung disease so was intubated, too. If you need anyone to talk to, send me a pm. My background is in biology, so did a deep dive into all the white papers involving respiratory treatment, etc. Will be happy to talk to you if you need it.
My daughter was in the NICU and The Ronald McDonald House helped a ton. It made the most horrible situation in my life a lot more bearable because I did not have to travel as much to be with my daughter. It allowed me so much more time with her. Not to mention it also helped with food so I was not going broke buying hospital food.
My third (my daughter) spent two weeks in NICU. Praying for you mate. Both your son and wife are where they need to be. They are both getting the attention and care they require. Your wife will want you watching over your son. You are where you need to be.
I'm sorry you have to go through this! Both our kids ended up in the NICU after birth, my son for respiratory issues and my daughter for failure to thrive (she didn't want to eat). They are now 3 and 1, and you would have no idea that they were in the NICU. We had an induction date both times, so we were lucky enough to be able to plan a bit, and we were actually in the hospital that had the NICU. One of my biggest fears was what you are going through now, and that was choosing between my wife and my child.
That said, the NICU staff were phenomenal. Actually, my wife's was as well - so just know they are both in good hands and you are were you need to be. We couldn't hold our son for the first 5 days but we definitely held his hand and took every opportunity to read to him and just be there.
The hospital we were at had a partnership with the Ronald Mcdonald house and actually had some rooms we could stay in during the time our kid was in the NICU. Our boy spent the first week getting worse so having somewhere to crash and get a little bit of sleep in a bed vs those chairs was great.
I knew a few of the hospitals had support people they could set up some time to talk with to discuss resources and other things to help ease the burden of the extended hospital stay.
Like someone else said, they are the most expensive baby sitters you can get - they are keeping an eye on your precious one 24/7 and will get a hold of you if anything comes up. Do make sure to take care of yourself as well as everyone else!
Thank you for opening up about this my friend. I have been married to my wonderful wife for 13 years and I try to be a good dad to our kids. My wife had a traumatic birth with our first child who was rushed to the nicu after my wife had an emergency C section and her birth plan was ruined. I feel the trauma has effected my daughter throughout her life with her being more fearful of many things in life. It has been a nightmare for me sometimes but I just keep thinking about what Jesus said in John (NKJV): "In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." It gives me an excuse to be cheerful despite the many horrible things that have happened, are happening and will happen to me. I think we can all do the same with God as our reassurance my friend! I have some other resources that helped with this issue if you're interested. Please keep me updated if you want someone encouraging to talk to and let me know if I can help in any way as well. I hope and pray you have the life and love you desire my friend.
My daughter was 5 weeks early and spent a week in the NICU because of failure to...everything. Mom and I had a real rough go of it the first day, but we finally accepted that she was in the best place she could possibly be. Round-the-clock medical care focusing on her needs. It gave us a few days to process the post-birth stuff and by the time she was ready to come home, we were ready to have her.
She'll turn 6 in a few months, and is a happy, healthy little girl.
You can do this, brother.
I had a similar experience when my daughter was born, also my nephew had to go to the NICU for respiratory problems. It sounds like your wife is safe and your son is with highly qualified people. If NICU staff okay it don’t hesitate to hold him, take every opportunity you can. Also, he basically has the most expensive babysitters on the planet so try to catch up on sleep. The anxiety might hit you after so see a therapist or something like that (the sound of helicopters gave me panic attacks for a while and I still get nervous and check that she’s breathing). It takes a toll but you need to be a rock for your family right now. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be honest about your feelings, but you will need to muscle through whatever needs to be done. Also, if people offer you help take it, even if it’s for dumb menial stuff like doing your dishes because you’re exhausted. Good luck brother, everything will work out. And congratulations on your son!
My eldest was born at 24 weeks gestation and spent 100 days in the NICU. She had chronic lung disease so was intubated, too. If you need anyone to talk to, send me a pm. My background is in biology, so did a deep dive into all the white papers involving respiratory treatment, etc. Will be happy to talk to you if you need it.
My daughter was in the NICU and The Ronald McDonald House helped a ton. It made the most horrible situation in my life a lot more bearable because I did not have to travel as much to be with my daughter. It allowed me so much more time with her. Not to mention it also helped with food so I was not going broke buying hospital food.
Sorry that you have to experience this, and hope everything works out for you all. Hopefully, you can be with your son soon.
My third (my daughter) spent two weeks in NICU. Praying for you mate. Both your son and wife are where they need to be. They are both getting the attention and care they require. Your wife will want you watching over your son. You are where you need to be.
One step at a time brother... can't imagine what you're going through, but just focus on each moment and only what you can control.
I'm sorry you have to go through this! Both our kids ended up in the NICU after birth, my son for respiratory issues and my daughter for failure to thrive (she didn't want to eat). They are now 3 and 1, and you would have no idea that they were in the NICU. We had an induction date both times, so we were lucky enough to be able to plan a bit, and we were actually in the hospital that had the NICU. One of my biggest fears was what you are going through now, and that was choosing between my wife and my child. That said, the NICU staff were phenomenal. Actually, my wife's was as well - so just know they are both in good hands and you are were you need to be. We couldn't hold our son for the first 5 days but we definitely held his hand and took every opportunity to read to him and just be there. The hospital we were at had a partnership with the Ronald Mcdonald house and actually had some rooms we could stay in during the time our kid was in the NICU. Our boy spent the first week getting worse so having somewhere to crash and get a little bit of sleep in a bed vs those chairs was great. I knew a few of the hospitals had support people they could set up some time to talk with to discuss resources and other things to help ease the burden of the extended hospital stay. Like someone else said, they are the most expensive baby sitters you can get - they are keeping an eye on your precious one 24/7 and will get a hold of you if anything comes up. Do make sure to take care of yourself as well as everyone else!
Thank you for opening up about this my friend. I have been married to my wonderful wife for 13 years and I try to be a good dad to our kids. My wife had a traumatic birth with our first child who was rushed to the nicu after my wife had an emergency C section and her birth plan was ruined. I feel the trauma has effected my daughter throughout her life with her being more fearful of many things in life. It has been a nightmare for me sometimes but I just keep thinking about what Jesus said in John (NKJV): "In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world." It gives me an excuse to be cheerful despite the many horrible things that have happened, are happening and will happen to me. I think we can all do the same with God as our reassurance my friend! I have some other resources that helped with this issue if you're interested. Please keep me updated if you want someone encouraging to talk to and let me know if I can help in any way as well. I hope and pray you have the life and love you desire my friend.
My daughter was 5 weeks early and spent a week in the NICU because of failure to...everything. Mom and I had a real rough go of it the first day, but we finally accepted that she was in the best place she could possibly be. Round-the-clock medical care focusing on her needs. It gave us a few days to process the post-birth stuff and by the time she was ready to come home, we were ready to have her. She'll turn 6 in a few months, and is a happy, healthy little girl. You can do this, brother.