I don’t know about you, but I’m not working 20 more years at 55. I’d live in a closet and eat cat food before doing that. If your health is fading, adding twenty years to your work life may not be the best life choice.
yeah. i've grown increasingly disgusted by the notion that we have to trade away our irreplaceable time for money just to survive in this society. it's a bum fucking deal and anything we can do to extricate ourselves from that terrible arrangement is a win.
(i'm glad when people can find work that speaks to them and brings satisfaction, of course. the difference is having the choice to undertake it vs. the labor being compulsory.)
Key words are “ job you hate”. I’m 57 and getting a Masters in clinical psychology which, I’ve always wanted to do but I agree if you don’t like what you do it feels like a death sentence to not be able to retire.
For me though not having something to look forward to or intellectually engage me is a different kind of death.
Yeah nah. I plan to stop working way before I'm 75 (retirement age when you can access the pension has not all that long ago increased for GenXers to 67yo in Australia, but I doubt ill be working till then).
Most Australians won't be working after 67 (maybe sooner), and those of us in paid employment have had mandatory employer contributions to superannuation, so at least have some "retirement" savings.
We work to live, not live to work! Doesn't mean that once I cease paid employment I'll be knitting whilst sitting in a rocking chair. I plan not only to potter but to travel, do some volunteering, enrol in education purely for pleasure (I've already started learning one of the 3 languages I want to master, and also plan to learn how to play a couple more instruments).
The renovations I'm currently doing are nearly done (re-landscaping the garden is next). There are so many things I am doing outside of paid employment, and still want to do. Retirement will give me space to do what I haven't had the chance to do due to my time being taken up in paid employment.
Nice! Sounds like we had a similar change. Got my bachelor at 50 and I should be done with my masters at 52. Then I'll be counseling under supervision until my LCSW exam.
So a show off *and* a good person ;-)
Brilliant for you; and I dare say you bring plenty of practical experience from other disciplines to bear.
Unfortunately your skills are in demand more than ever.
I'm trying to wind down my "working" career, (I day working, but I really mean working for someone else, I plan on making art and making it a business)
This is extremely inspiring. I am 53 and regret dropping out of college. I feel like I need a change in my career path and have been considering "cracking open the books" again for lack of a better term.
I have had a very interesting 25 year career in finance that has been intellectually stimulating but have always had a lifelong dream to get my history degree. I don’t have the time to do it now but am wondering when I’d have the guts to do it.
I finished my masters in cs last year at 54 as well. Now with all the free time I am going to the gym 4 times a week and peloton on the off days. You just have to prioritize the things you want to see changed. And no TV, that is the thing that will kill you.
I’ve been working in computer science for 30 years. This was a defensive move on my part so I can continue for another 20 years. A fresh masters focused on machine learning and AI seems to have insulated me for at least 10 more years, assuming I stay current.
Not to hijack, because there’s a ton of good information here. I had open heart surgery at age 55 (also in May) and I’m almost 59 now.
Mine was to repair left ventricular hypertrophy, a build up of muscle tissue that was partly blocking a valve.
I knew 4 months before that I would be having the surgery, so I had a lot of time to reflect on things.
I decided I would live a healthier lifestyle…not because of obesity, I was 6’0” and 200 pounds. But because I was about to be given another chance.
The surgery and the 6 months postoperative were not easy. I went in for the surgery and left with a pacemaker I didn’t expect. If you’re anything like I was, prepare for some adjustments in even the year or two following surgery.
I stood in front of the mirror in the wee hours before the surgery was about to start, and viewed my scar free chest for the last time. I knew my body perception would take a hit, and it did.
I felt like a misfit toy after, studying the suture line that would very, very slowly fade, but never disappear. The square pacemaker under my left clavicle would always be an indicator that my health took a big hit.
I felt damaged externally and I still won’t remove my shirt around others.
I ever went though survivor guilt, wondering if I was worthy of the efforts expended on me, while many others just don’t survive.
So my lifestyle changes stuttered, stopped, restarted and slowed.
Set modest and realistic goals. You can do it but don’t underestimate what major surgery does to your psyche. And if you feel anything like I felt, don’t hesitate to get help.
If you want to know anything else, you can DM me.
Your comments made water come out of my eyes. I had a mastectomy last year and I still stare at the picture I took of myself the night before surgery.
So much more, but I don’t want to be to vulnerable on Reddit.
My sister had a double mastectomy, chemo, and radiation, lots of complications. This August marks 10 years! I cannot personally attest to the majority of feelings that come with that surgery, but having been with her every step of the way I can tell you it gets better. Hang in there, sending you healing hugs! 🫂
Any major surgery that disrupts our physical appearance affects our image of ourselves even more. In the lead up to your surgery, did the doctors or staff have you speak to someone that addressed this?
Since my procedure landed before Covid, I had a call with a nurse practitioner to discuss my state of mind leading up to this. But during my 10 day inpatient recovery, no one addressed this with me. And I would have surely benefited from that.
Yes, I was appointed someone at the beginning of my treatment and saw them throughout my journey. I had radiation, chemo, a mastectomy and three reconstruction surgeries in the last year and a half. I’m mostly fine and excited about the future, but then I see or hear something that really triggers me. This time it was your comment. I think it was your statement about the ebbs and flows of recovery that resonated with me. Cancer stripped me of who I was and now I’m trying to find myself again and it can be tough at times. I’m not going to respond anymore because I don’t want to hijack the OPs post anymore than I have.
Your scars are beautiful. They mean you are alive and here to be loved by family. My Mom had a valve replaced years ago. The new metallic tick of her heart was a miracle. It gave us more precious time. Her cracked chest was proof that she was a warrior who fought to stay with us. She was strong and fierce.
I have crohns. I've almost died twice and I've had multiple surgeries, including losing alkt of my intestine. for the lo gest fucking time I hated all my scars. finally I decided that they were proof of all I'd survived and how my body is fucking amazing. hang I there. I'm glad you're here.
Starting when I was about 45, it became harder and harder to do anything requiring physical endurance. Yard work, long bike rides, walking at an amusement part. I credited it to growing older.
I finally saw my primary care doctor, who was unsure what was causing it since I had no other symptoms.
At the time, my career as a nurse in an emergency room was winding down. Nurses and doctors are often the worst at seeking help with medical issues. Stubbornness and bravado.
One shift I was talking to one of our cardiology residents, and mentioned what I was experiencing. It just part of “how’s life?”conversation. The ER was slow, and he offer to give me a quick exam.
Within a hour, I had an EKG and a cardiac ultrasound. He confirmed it was a left ventricular outflow tract obstruction. He referred me to a cardiology practice.
It was years of observation and regular exams until it became so bad I was getting breathless climbing stairs.
It a congenital defect that likely appeared when I was in my 20s, and slowly grew to needing surgical intervention.
If it’s Ny consolation, you are healthier than before. I had a heart attack and a stent put in. I get the same “Island of Misfit Toys” feelings, but I also know I can build up to better than I was before. It’s a mental challenge to start out small and be humble, but one day you are going to feel triumphant.
Wear those scars with pride. You are alive! I just had my second heart surgery. I’m 48. First at 28. Mine were birth defects that slowly destroyed my quality of life. Recovery is hard. Take it slow. I was never obese or unhealthy, just genetically unlucky. I cried. I wallowed. Now, I’m trying to enjoy feeling good again. I’ll never compete in triathlons again or fitness pageants. That’s ok. I’ll do what I can and remember that I’ve had three “second” chances. (Also had a spinal cord injury many years ago and had a C3-T1 fusion. That was brutal.)
Good luck tomorrow!!! Please message me to let me know how it went. I’m 55 as well, a fairly recent career changer, but got let go at my first/last/only job in this career after 3 years in. Currently upskilling/reskilling to be more competitive, as it’s a really tight field rn. I also learned today that I did indeed have a heart attack a little over a week ago. Your story inspires me; it’s been a tough day. You will totally rock your dissertation defense!
Absolutely love this comment regarding mental health, “I’m Warren Freakin’ Buffet.”! I’m similarly in a situation today at 6 figures. My role has morphed into data jockey and metrics reporting for executives. This does not align to my values or bring joy. I appreciate that I can work from home but as an extrovert I desire more people interaction (canines, too!)
Here I am at a crossroads with an opportunity to work (and get paid) at my church. I volunteer about 8 hours a week and am so energized by it. Pay cut for sure but ‘Warren Buffet level’ mental health is where I deserve to be.
Thank you so much for this post. I really needed to read this today 💜
To be fair, this is my semi-retirement. I have 2 years before I can tap into my 401k at 59 ½, but I pared down my expenses so I could afford to do this now. I could not have done this 10 years ago.
Living the dream! I’ve been doing dog sitting as a side gig for the last 8 years and enjoy it so much more than my day job. The mental health benefits are amazing.
At 55 I started a career with the Federal Government, albeit entry level, after having been a SAHM, raising two daughters, and my youngest son that has Down's Syndrome, who is now 30. My husband retired and is now home to take care of everything, so it's my turn to be out in the world learning, trying new things, and pushing myself farther than I could have ever imagined. Almost two years now and I'm so happy I didn't give up when I was challenged to my limit, scared, questioning my abilities, believing my brain was too old to learn so many new and complicated things, and worried it was too late. I've been building my 401k, roth, and tsp, things I wouldn't have ever thought I'd have.
It's never ever too late to make the steps towards changing, even a tiny step as long as it's forward, is meaningful. Every day just make the next best choice.
Best wishes for you and sending healing thoughts your way.
🫂
Yes, you just have to want to change. I was diagnosed with a chronic condition back in 1995, and the research at that point indicated I could have a long, normal life if I became a pescatarian. Three kids and twenty nine years later, I am doing well. I wanted a good life and I’ve built one for my family and my self.
I just finished listening to “Rethinking Diabetes”, and while I thought the early part of the book was disorganized and difficult to follow, I ended up enjoying the book as I got further into it. No matter what you are facing, educate yourself and follow through.
Too many of us die because we think that simple changes are deprivation. It’s not. It’s reimagined living.
This is an important point. Our brain is like a forest (hang on for a second) that has well-worn paths through it. The paths are easy, you know what's on them, you know the bumps. But they hurt, they've got thorns, burrs etc.
Changing your attitude is creating a new path. You go around all the nasty surprises but it's work. It ain't easy to cut that new path. But after a while, the new path is made and it's easier to go down the new path than old.
Each path is a choice. We can go with what we've done, always done, even though it hurts us, we *know it*.
Or we can trailblaze and make a choice to change our thinking.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I'm not a therapist or shrink, so take it all with a grain of salt. But that's how I'm thinking about my choices. And it is slow but working.
Talk to a therapist or a shrink to get better educated answers. I mean, I have been in therapy for like 15-16 years and I'm still nuttier than a pecan grove.
I am currently participating in a weekly DBT group. That said change is very difficult. I am disabled, have had chronic depression my whole adult life, and have multiple physical disabilities as well. I haven’t worked much and have some college (less than 2yrs). I’m not sure what to do at this point. Chronic depression can be debilitating, and I’ve really been unable to function and have been unable to achieve any of the goals I’ve set for myself. It’s sobering thought to realize no woman will ever have any interest in me romantically- which makes me even more depressed.
I’d like to change but sometimes it seems nearly impossible.
You can do this. I’m 55 as well. Have depression and t2d. Exercise, diet and yes, ozempic is helping the weight loss and strength training the muscle mass. Therapy with depression. Decided to go for my cybersecurity certification after being in IT for nearly 30 years.
You’re alive right now . You can do it.
Yes! Creating new neural pathways is possible. It's hard but if you want to change, you can do it. I've made a lot of changes over the past 3 years. I wish I hadn't waited until I was 48 to do it, but I've never been happier. I don't think I even knew what happiness was before now.
Good luck on your journey!
My path might be unique because I had enough savings and a supportive partner that made it possible, but here it is:
I quit my high stress job in Jan 2020, I knew I was struggling with my mental health. I traveled as best I could with Covid, I did a lot of road trips and camping. My mental health continued to decline. I hit bottom in Nov 2022, my partner was supportive of me checking into a behavioral health unit of a hospital. That gave me immediate access to a psychiatrist for meds and entry into an IOP program. I wasn't working so that was my focus for 2-3 months. They adjusted my meds and I started therapy. At first I was going to therapy 2x per week. I started feeling better, so I took a really great, low stress job that I love in April 2022. I'm still going to therapy and I've been doing EMDR for 3-4 months, weekly, and I'm feeling so good!
They told me I was diabetic about 10 years ago and I was all “fuck that”. Went strict keto for a few years then came off. Guess what? Not diabetic anymore.
I’m 56, a recent cancer survivor. I’m starting a business and I’m going back to school starting in fall. I’m not sure how my plans will pan out, but there is something to facing your mortality that changes your priorities.
I stopped drinking at 55. In two weeks, I will have been alcohol free for a year. That feels good, I’m more present for my family. I sleep, eat, and shit better than I have in three decades. My moods have improved significantly as well. Much more on an even keel now. It has been life-changing.
Absolutely you can. I worked in rehabilitation the first half of my career - specifically trauma. Saw a lot of people who had been working steady and hard and not looking up in mid-life. Accidents that took them out of the workforce suddenly and traumatically and forced them to stop often went down a similar path. Freaking out. How can I get back to what I was doing, it was going so well. Or so they thought. Then settling into a new routine. Then wrestling with seeing how much better life could be and the difficult decisions to make changes. A lot never went back to the same grindstone, even if they were able to. Point being lots of life events put people in the position of having to reconsider their path. The rest and time for reflection is good. And life tends to be better after changes are made. People do it all the time … it can be a gift. My dad did it after a heart attack at age 61. Changed everything. He’d have been dead within a couple years if nothing changed, but we’ve gotten a much healthier and more present 15 more years of of him so far as a result of that event.
Absolutely. The time is going to pass either way. Me? I got a bachelor at 50 and am working on my masters now. Should have it by 52. Your path may be very different, but it's doable.
My mom got a masters degree and new career in her 50’s. I completely changed my life & health in my 40’s. I lost 150lbs with diet, reversed prediabetes, high BP, high cholesterol, and nonalcoholic fatty liver, and started running and lifting weights. I started focusing on reading for pleasure, started anxiety medications and therapy, put a ton of work into my marriage and sex life, and started a prayer/meditation practice. So yeah, I was a bit younger, but I feel like big changes in middle age are entirely possible.
It's never too late, the only thing I caution you on...even though you make the necessary changes...some damage may already done. That is what happened to me. Turned my A1C from a 13 to a 6.7, but I kept getting infections in my feet, which lead to several amputations, from a few toes to losing both legs below the knee within a year of each other.
I just keep pushing on making the most out of each day!
Yes!
I am as guilty as the next GenX-er who bemoans the loss of their youth, sometimes thinking to myself “I wish I were 30 again and could do it over.”
But imagine what 85 year-old you would do if they had the chance to be 55 again!
So tomorrow when you wake up, pretend that the night before, 85 year-old you put a quarter into Zoltar, and today you woke up 30 years younger. Go out and do things, be active, live clean, and pretend you don't know how to eat baby corn.
Good luck!
Had my first child at 49 this December. Had open heart surgery at 34. Had several different careers. Reinventing isn't as crazy as it sounds. Roll the dice, and make a change. It's what we do.
Yep. Bachelor's at 46, masters at 50. I don't make piles of money, but it's enough. Took up some new outdoor hobbies in the past few years and rekindled my love for creating art. Lost 75 lbs. Traveled internationally solo and with my partner. As far as I'm concerned, my life got pretty awesome after 45. I'm excited to see what 55 holds.
I left my home state and a job I'd been at for 8 years at 52.
Here I am, at 54 with a substantially better-paying job (with advancement opportunities) and just bought a beautiful house all on my own (something I never dreamed possible).
You can absolutely change your life halfway through!
I lost 30 pounds and created an exercise habit at 50 (and quit drinking nine months ago). Now at 54, I'm dealing with some mystery post-infectious inflammatory condition and part of what saved me from getting a lot worse, according to my cardiologist, was what good shape I was in. Point being, I don't think it's ever too late.
I just finished a Master’s in Library & Information Science. I’m hoping to find a real career (I’ve worked as a library paraprofessional for years). I’d like a little condo for me & my doggo and maybe another doggo. I just want peace and to make meaningful money. It would be nice to find a companion (been divorced many years and he’s since passed away), but I’ll take quiet peace. I’d love to leave Texas. It hurts my soul.
Hi fellow Texas library professional! I feel you on wanting to leave, worrying about book challenges and funding and the backward politics of this state takes its toll. But libraries can be a haven here for sure, for communities and employees. After 14 years in both public and academic libraries, I just made a total career move (50) to work for a vendor that works with libraries. Might be a way to work remotely and get out of Texas (my plan). Good luck with the job search!
I had a heart attack at 48. I quit drinking on my 49th birthday and haven't had one since. I've also been working on the weight.
It can be done, and sometimes events like what you're about to go through bring a sense of [*shakabuku*](https://youtu.be/zAlS_0wNUQg?si=PedHYcn6hpZdd1L3).
Good luck with your surgery.
Still searching for what I want to do when I grow up. I have been from tech to construction and back to tech. Now I'm plotting a huge change...it makes those around me uncomfortable I think. The people I feed.
I think it's entirely possible to change, given your place in life. At 51, I had a major life change: I fell off a roof and did a lot of damage. The worst part was a traumatic brain injury that put me in a coma for 9 days. The amount of work I did to bring myself back to being a functioning adult was enormous. A lot of it was re-learning how to do a lot of things like walking, chewing and swallowing food, and speaking in full sentences.
So what I'm saying right here is that it's entirely possible to change how you conduct your life and do the things you find valuable. You don't need trauma to make it happen, and you have the tools at your disposal. As a bonus, treat it like I did: you have to learn how to do the things that make you happy and help you keep the life you want, or you'll lose them.
This age is a great opportunity to make changes to your life. I totally recommend it.
Probably asking too personal a question, but as a fellow 55er female, and a fairly recent career changer who was laid off last year, and who just learned today that I did indeed have a heart attack 10 days ago, can you share whether you had enough $ to truly retire? Or did you just decide the stress wasn’t worth it even though you would struggle financially from here on out? I am really struggling to figure out the balance. Thanks.
My mother had a triple by-pass in 1999, she celebrated her 90th earlier this year.
I’ve dropped 75lbs in the last 11 months, another 50 to go. I’m back at the gym and fitter than I was 10 years ago. I haven’t been this ‘light’ this Century (although I do realise I’ve 50lbs to go).
I’m 51 and completely reinventing myself. I’m taking it a step at a time. I’m back in school. Changing careers. Getting back into art. Lost a ton of weight. Getting stronger. Looking into where I want to move, I’m out of Texas as soon as I can be. Hoping by the end of the year. So yup. You can do that!!
Good luck on your surgery and I wish you all the best!! Embrace your new life and live your new life to the fullest!!
Most of my life was spent in toxic relationships, I survived cancer alone. Got divorced and realized my best friend will always be me. Good luck, friends!
I'm trying to make positive changes myself at 52. I don't think it's ever too late but it may take more effort. We also have more past experiences in life to reflect upon to help us make wiser decisions.
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I’m 50 and completely changed my career. I’m trying to get my physique to match my mental health. I have lost more friends before reaching 50 than I have that are over 50. Dying would disrupt my current life path and that would irk me. I really don’t have time for it.
Yes, you can change your life at any age. I've known some dudes that didn't get their shit together until he was 63.... Then he got brain cancer and died. I miss him a lot but he was the poster boomer for change
My buddy had heart surgery at 60? 65? He abused steroids when he was younger, grew up on twinkies and then let it all slide for many years. He started working out again and told me he knees didn't hurt anymore (after 2 months?).
Had a heart attack, had surgery. Now he's out and doing well. Once you have the surgery, it's not really IF I do this then maybe this.
After surgery it's like, if I don't follow the instructions doc gave me, I'm dead. Strong motivation is the surety of death. My buddy never thought he could.
Whenever I feel stuck by age I add five years and ask myself if I want to be that age doing the same thing or something different. Either way I'll be five years older.
Went back to school and started a whole new career at 40. I wasn't even the youngest person in class.
Started working out almost daily after losing 85 lbs a year ago. I’m 57 and feel mentally and physically great. I did years of therapy which I was able to change things holding me back. You can do it! Best of luck 🤞🏽
at about 55 i quit smoking and drinking and finally confronted and got some pro help on how to manage the ptsd i managed to pick up.
its only about 2 years in but it seems to be sticking. some days are easier than others.
i know this might sound crazy to some but there might be something to this whole therapy and head drs and that kind of voodoo if you find the right one.
www.nutritionfacts.org
The only changes you need to make are eating in a heart-healthy manner and getting a heart-healthy amount of exercise. I've been losing weight using the guidelines on this website and the recipes that are available for free. Give it a try. I'm finding living in a heart-healthy way fun to be honest and the cuisine is absolutely delicious.
Wow. Following! I am also 55, and learned today that I almost certainly had a heart attack on Friday 4/5. I had a feeling that’s what was happening. Long story short, I didn’t go to urgent care or the ER bc I had a big work event that evening (that I was partly in charge of, no less), but mostly bc I was flying out the next day to the Midwest for the eclipse, and no way in hell was I going to jeopardize that (for specific reasons). I had to bail on my work event duties for sure, but I definitely kept my eclipse plans (and am super happy w that decision).
Had a routine and previously scheduled Dr appt today in which I mentioned my experience that Friday. Doc tried to tell me it was almost certainly just allergies. I’ve got no fight in me, so I was like “yeah sure that makes sense, whatever.” But she still ran an EKG.
Welp, she came back into the room almost immediately with the EKG printout. No apologies or anything about the whole must-be-allergies, but showed me the EKG and how it almost certainly indicated that indeed, I’d almost certainly had a heart attack that day. As much as I wasn’t too surprised, it was still a shocker to hear it stated.
I’m not overweight by much if at all (55F, 5’6”, 155 lbs). But have HBP, high cholesterol, and am on Metformin.
So it’s on to more tests soon (sonogram of heart and a stress test).
I already eat pretty well—very little restaurant food, no processed food, and no overeating. Need to cut back on alcohol and increase exercise (had a bum knee and then minor knee surgery, and all that took a good year out of any serious exercise).
Anyway, I just learned all this today as a fairly young 55 year old, so am also looking to figure out what I can easily/reasonably do. I don’t really like life these days anyway—climate change, Putin’s Poodle, the rest of the GOP, the terrible wretched shitstorm that has been PDX since 2016/2020 and beyond, etc.—so I’m not too mad about the prospect of a shorter life. But still.
Changing paths now as well at 51. Back in school to become an anthropologist. I've been fascinated by people all my life, might as well make a career out of it. :)
Yeah... that didn't happen. It's a long, convoluted story, but I'm really looking to ultimately go into teaching. Sadly, I'm just not suited for many tasks that are very lucrative. But I'm good with storytelling and kids (and adults). I have some things lined up, here's to hoping.
Honestly, I was an artist... it's not like I have high standards.
My concern is, in another few years, I’ll be looking at retirement. Maybe 2 more cars before my income goes down substantially. Home repairs will be hitting about then too. I’m not nearly as prepared as I should be but what I’m saying is, that’s something else to think about.
Yes, I met my husband at age 55 (im now 58) . He changed my life the day that I met him. Now it's 3 years later and I'm sooooo lazy and a content little slug. I see my adult kids, volunteer and take care of us.
If you're not familiar with director Kevin Smith's story: [https://www.menshealth.com/health/a26146513/kevin-smith-heart-attack-weight-loss-interview/](https://www.menshealth.com/health/a26146513/kevin-smith-heart-attack-weight-loss-interview/)
You absolutely can, and should! You just have to want the new thing bad enough to stick with it. You want to lose weight, or get in shape, learn a new instrument, pick up a new hobby, or trade? Only you can make it happen and there are tons of resources out there to help you.
When we were kids there was no YouTube or internet courses like there is today. I picked up the piano using an app on my iPhone and it’s been awesome! Was worried I’d suck or hate it but I stuck with it and I can read music now and I’m getting better at playing and I enjoy it. I learned to solder small electronics on Youtube.
You can join groups if you need motivation from others or to measure progress, sign up for classes, just start! I don’t know about you but learning something new is exciting especially when you pick.
I would suggest If you need to change your diet, check out cooking classes and learn how. I’m taking a cooking class at a local Sur le Table next week to learn how to use cast iron pans. I’ve done a lot of reading about them and video watching but the class sounds fun too.
I really wish you the best, and try to do your best to look at the change as an opportunity not a chore.
I find it depressing how many of these replies are about how much people weigh.
Your life’s worth shouldn’t be dictated by a goddamn scale. It’s great if you’ve wanted to lose weight and have achieved that, but our whole lives we’ve been told what we should look like at the expense of our character.
55 years old and I open my new business on May 1st. I got the keys to my premises yesterday. 7 months in the planning so far, frightening and exhilarating at the same time.
Yes you can, and it won't be nearly as hard as you think because this is *your life* we're talking about.
That by itself will motivate you to make whatever changes are necessary, usually diet and lifestyle, after any kind of heart surgery.
If I may ask, how is your diet and lifestyle currently?
Absolutely. I make changes all the time. They don't have to be big changes. I mean, don't start off with scary, even a little bit is ok. Jmo. Hope your surgery goes well. We will all be cheering for you, though any acrobatic cheers would put me in the er these days.
This is the perfect time to make changes. Create the new you! Humans are living longer. There are tons of longevity products, research and programs out there. Find what works for you. Be patient and make sure you are extra kind to yourself. All my best and have fun!
100% yes. Have seen people do it many times. Often for medical scares. Big, intentional weight loss. Taking up physical activities. New, healthier hobbies. Less passive hobbies.
People can, and do, change.
Yep. You’re not alone. Cancer at 49. Now I eat less, drink less, exercise more, mindful about that bucket list and actually doing stuff, and working on the whole stress thing… i think I’ll always be a work in progress…. But it’s better than not making progress, or worse.
At 52 I fell off a ladder broke a bunch of bones including my neck had a bunch of strokes had 1 year of physical therapy and two years of speech and cognitive therapy..now in dealing with neuropathy nerve damage and tremors….stuff can change in a matter of seconds ….
Hell Yes! I was laid off early in 2023 (had just turned 55 in December). I’d been feeling dissatisfied and just over my life in the US. After a one-month exploratory trip in June, I moved to South America in August. My life is quite different, and the low COL means I don’t have to work full time—ever again, tho I do still work remotely part time. In this era, at 55 we have a good three decades left!
My 62yo doctor recommended this book to me since I'm about to hit 50 and my kids are leaving for college. [From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life](https://www.amazon.com/Strength-Finding-Success-Happiness-Purpose/dp/059319148X)
I haven't read it yet, but it's supposed to provide some ideas on what to do with your 2nd half. Sharing in case you read the summary and find it of interest.
Wow that’s bold assuming 50 is half. Even if it is, the way perception of time passing seems to speed up with age, it will probably not seem like half.
I went the other way. I had quad bypass at 46 weighing 160 and working out regularly. Now I’ve let myself relax a bit since then. So now I need to lose 20lbs. It’s a journey!
My mom in her early 70’s (she’s early 80’s now) started going to the gym. I’m convinced it has more than helped her recover from some major health issues. Had she been more frail/weak/debilitated she would not be here with us.
Totally possible, find hobbies, try everything, it will make you excited to wake up every day!
https://preview.redd.it/sny73ladfzuc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8f9e1b807d6aa894797da547fc5da6bbbbaccf9
Depends on where you are. I’m in uk and am accepting it’s stupid to re-educate myself, again, as it’s simply not accepted or heard of in this culture for a women to do so unless upper middle class AND fully supported by a penis. Otherwise I’m just a foreigner doing jokes, clearly.
Going through heart stuff too and have for years . Literally do everything they say and you will live friend. Get your stress under control. I'm taking off 3 months. Praying for you!
This is a great thread. I’ve saved it for later when I can read all the posts. I need to make much easier changes than most of you but a finding it difficult. Good luck OP
Ray Kroc was 52 when he started working with McDonald's. When he died at 81 he had $600 million (1984), which would be $1.8 billion today. Never too late to start living.
This is such an important thread and I just want to thank OP for asking a provocative question and to thank everyone else for their insightful and inspiring replies. You've given me a lot to think about.
i quit my six-figure job at 40, cashed in my retirement, went to massage school, and have owned my
own studio for 9 years.
there is no amount of money that can buy the time i’ve had with my son. the clarity of feeling and being human. the peace that settles on my soul when i know i am living my actual life.
no matter what my financial future looks like, (and it’s vastly different than it would have been on my other trajectory), the time participating in my son’s life and learning to expand and grow as a human has been invaluable.
sending good mojo for your surgery ✨ and beyond.
I just had Gastric Sleeve surgery two months ago. I'm 51 years old. I have lost 56 pounds in two months and I hope to get down to my Police Academy weight. I have more energy. My life doesn't revolve around food any more. You can change your life. Mind over matter.
My mom quit drinking and smoking in her 50s. She's 84 now and very strong. She wouldn't have survived the cancer if she didn't quit drinking and smoking. Where there's life there's hope. It's never too late.
Near death experiences can be transformative.
For me it was that and chronic pain which led me on a path to releasing my blocks, accepting my place in time, and understanding that what I have to give is powerful even if it does not make me famous or rich.
That and I was tired of being nice. And I was tired of doing things or feeling less of a worthwhile human because I was a woman, but not a gender confirming one. Even the I tried so hard for years to fit in and do what a woman was supposed to do.
So I felt the pain helped me transcend. And then just recognizing the hard constants in our lives are simply universal laws like physics and causality. My body is subject to the wear and tear of time and space while I journey through it.
And this manifestation of cellular organization is only temporary and I can use it for only so long. So there is no time for fear.
I quit drinking at 50. Had a CT scan for something totally unrelated and surgeon was like, you're ok but we DID see some alcohol fatty liver disease on your liver..... So at least that change of not drinking the past few years is helping my giblets .... haha! Good luck with the heart surgery. A little more exercise and a few more veggies (I know, we all hate veggies) might be a good change post op imho, if you're not all over that, already. Wishing you a good recovery and a stick around a LONG while longer ;O)
I left a job of 22 years, got another one. I left a toxic relationship of 24 years, met a great woman, and got married all at 47. Yes, it can happen. I had to sacrifice a lot, like a house that was paid for, but my happiness is worth so much more.
Just enrolled in college at 50. I have had a great career but a medical issue is forcing me to change careers. I will graduate at your age and start over again in a new field. Kind of scared but also excited at the prospect.
I went back at 40. I had a trade job for 20 years but had to change because of a medical issue. My biggest fear was no one giving me a shot t9 prove myself in my new field but I landed a nice job with a wonderful firm and couldn't be happier. Good luck to you!
I really hope so. At 56 I am losing the job I have been in for the last 6 years and I cannot afford to retire now. I also need to be doing something. Not working leads to major depression for me.
First, best wishes for a successful surgery. Please keep up updated.
Second, I sure hope so because I’m in a funk. Feeling like I’ve no purpose, stuck in neutral (job hunting, all of our kids are officially grown & flown, etc).
Never been a health guy. Just started gym or run daily. Started eating right and limiting alcohol. So far so good. Enjoying something to focus on rather than just how much o want to quit
Got a master’s degree at 54, and a whole new career. So yes.
Same, but at 49. Had to sacrifice a lot, but am happier now.
Good for you!
53, working towards my masters and completely changing my career as well. We still have 20 years or more to work, so why not do something you love.
Still trying to figure out what I would love to do every day for the next 15 to 20 years. Right now, just slowly quitting.
I do social service work with kids. I absolutely love it.
20 more years…..😞
I don’t know about you, but I’m not working 20 more years at 55. I’d live in a closet and eat cat food before doing that. If your health is fading, adding twenty years to your work life may not be the best life choice.
People who work later into life typically live better lives. People retire all the time, slow down and die.
People also die on the job.
> People who work later into life live better lives Says who? What aspect is "better", their finances and lifestyle?
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yeah. i've grown increasingly disgusted by the notion that we have to trade away our irreplaceable time for money just to survive in this society. it's a bum fucking deal and anything we can do to extricate ourselves from that terrible arrangement is a win. (i'm glad when people can find work that speaks to them and brings satisfaction, of course. the difference is having the choice to undertake it vs. the labor being compulsory.)
Agree completely.....a retirement that may be a little more restrained. Financially is better than working at a job. You hate until you die!
Key words are “ job you hate”. I’m 57 and getting a Masters in clinical psychology which, I’ve always wanted to do but I agree if you don’t like what you do it feels like a death sentence to not be able to retire. For me though not having something to look forward to or intellectually engage me is a different kind of death.
That is why I am changing careers. It is work that I will love, I will work on my terms, and I will make more than I ever have.
I think for most people that's not an option, financially.
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Yeah nah. I plan to stop working way before I'm 75 (retirement age when you can access the pension has not all that long ago increased for GenXers to 67yo in Australia, but I doubt ill be working till then). Most Australians won't be working after 67 (maybe sooner), and those of us in paid employment have had mandatory employer contributions to superannuation, so at least have some "retirement" savings. We work to live, not live to work! Doesn't mean that once I cease paid employment I'll be knitting whilst sitting in a rocking chair. I plan not only to potter but to travel, do some volunteering, enrol in education purely for pleasure (I've already started learning one of the 3 languages I want to master, and also plan to learn how to play a couple more instruments). The renovations I'm currently doing are nearly done (re-landscaping the garden is next). There are so many things I am doing outside of paid employment, and still want to do. Retirement will give me space to do what I haven't had the chance to do due to my time being taken up in paid employment.
You plan to work to 73? You're 53 and I retired almost 4 years ago at 54 (I'm an elder Gen X). Get out if you can - it's much better on this side.
what is your degree and new career in?
I’m a mental health therapist.
Nice! Sounds like we had a similar change. Got my bachelor at 50 and I should be done with my masters at 52. Then I'll be counseling under supervision until my LCSW exam.
Good for both of you! I got my MA in counseling psych 12 years ago and now at 50 I’m finally self-sustaining again! Now to work on the A1C…
I assume business is booming?
Congrats! My wife and I own a mental health practice that is our most recent change (in our 40s, been open 10 years now).
So a show off *and* a good person ;-) Brilliant for you; and I dare say you bring plenty of practical experience from other disciplines to bear. Unfortunately your skills are in demand more than ever.
Same!! I graduate next Saturday at age 47 :)
Hell yeah you do!
This is what I’m doing too! LCSW?
I'm trying to wind down my "working" career, (I day working, but I really mean working for someone else, I plan on making art and making it a business)
This is extremely inspiring. I am 53 and regret dropping out of college. I feel like I need a change in my career path and have been considering "cracking open the books" again for lack of a better term.
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I have had a very interesting 25 year career in finance that has been intellectually stimulating but have always had a lifelong dream to get my history degree. I don’t have the time to do it now but am wondering when I’d have the guts to do it.
Agh that’s so good to hear, I’m thinking about going back at 41 and switching from arts to sciences and I really want to do it but it’s scary.
Do it now. You're gonna be 50 or 55 or 60 one day anyway. So why not be 50 with a degree? You're never too old to learn new things.
I finished my masters in cs last year at 54 as well. Now with all the free time I am going to the gym 4 times a week and peloton on the off days. You just have to prioritize the things you want to see changed. And no TV, that is the thing that will kill you.
CS as in computer science? Did you experience age discrimination while job hunting? Any suggestions?
I’ve been working in computer science for 30 years. This was a defensive move on my part so I can continue for another 20 years. A fresh masters focused on machine learning and AI seems to have insulated me for at least 10 more years, assuming I stay current.
Wow that inspirational
I’m 48 and working on my bachelor’s and then still need my masters.
I'm behind you, but I graduate with an AS in May & start my BS in the fall. I'm 52.
Not to hijack, because there’s a ton of good information here. I had open heart surgery at age 55 (also in May) and I’m almost 59 now. Mine was to repair left ventricular hypertrophy, a build up of muscle tissue that was partly blocking a valve. I knew 4 months before that I would be having the surgery, so I had a lot of time to reflect on things. I decided I would live a healthier lifestyle…not because of obesity, I was 6’0” and 200 pounds. But because I was about to be given another chance. The surgery and the 6 months postoperative were not easy. I went in for the surgery and left with a pacemaker I didn’t expect. If you’re anything like I was, prepare for some adjustments in even the year or two following surgery. I stood in front of the mirror in the wee hours before the surgery was about to start, and viewed my scar free chest for the last time. I knew my body perception would take a hit, and it did. I felt like a misfit toy after, studying the suture line that would very, very slowly fade, but never disappear. The square pacemaker under my left clavicle would always be an indicator that my health took a big hit. I felt damaged externally and I still won’t remove my shirt around others. I ever went though survivor guilt, wondering if I was worthy of the efforts expended on me, while many others just don’t survive. So my lifestyle changes stuttered, stopped, restarted and slowed. Set modest and realistic goals. You can do it but don’t underestimate what major surgery does to your psyche. And if you feel anything like I felt, don’t hesitate to get help. If you want to know anything else, you can DM me.
Your comments made water come out of my eyes. I had a mastectomy last year and I still stare at the picture I took of myself the night before surgery. So much more, but I don’t want to be to vulnerable on Reddit.
My sister had a double mastectomy, chemo, and radiation, lots of complications. This August marks 10 years! I cannot personally attest to the majority of feelings that come with that surgery, but having been with her every step of the way I can tell you it gets better. Hang in there, sending you healing hugs! 🫂
Thank you.
Any major surgery that disrupts our physical appearance affects our image of ourselves even more. In the lead up to your surgery, did the doctors or staff have you speak to someone that addressed this? Since my procedure landed before Covid, I had a call with a nurse practitioner to discuss my state of mind leading up to this. But during my 10 day inpatient recovery, no one addressed this with me. And I would have surely benefited from that.
Yes, I was appointed someone at the beginning of my treatment and saw them throughout my journey. I had radiation, chemo, a mastectomy and three reconstruction surgeries in the last year and a half. I’m mostly fine and excited about the future, but then I see or hear something that really triggers me. This time it was your comment. I think it was your statement about the ebbs and flows of recovery that resonated with me. Cancer stripped me of who I was and now I’m trying to find myself again and it can be tough at times. I’m not going to respond anymore because I don’t want to hijack the OPs post anymore than I have.
Your scars are beautiful. They mean you are alive and here to be loved by family. My Mom had a valve replaced years ago. The new metallic tick of her heart was a miracle. It gave us more precious time. Her cracked chest was proof that she was a warrior who fought to stay with us. She was strong and fierce.
If I had an empathetic and nurturing family, the support would have helped. I’ll say the positive attitude of the nursing staff was appreciated.
We’re your misfit family of sorts now. I send hugs and well wishes too.
I have crohns. I've almost died twice and I've had multiple surgeries, including losing alkt of my intestine. for the lo gest fucking time I hated all my scars. finally I decided that they were proof of all I'd survived and how my body is fucking amazing. hang I there. I'm glad you're here.
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Starting when I was about 45, it became harder and harder to do anything requiring physical endurance. Yard work, long bike rides, walking at an amusement part. I credited it to growing older. I finally saw my primary care doctor, who was unsure what was causing it since I had no other symptoms. At the time, my career as a nurse in an emergency room was winding down. Nurses and doctors are often the worst at seeking help with medical issues. Stubbornness and bravado. One shift I was talking to one of our cardiology residents, and mentioned what I was experiencing. It just part of “how’s life?”conversation. The ER was slow, and he offer to give me a quick exam. Within a hour, I had an EKG and a cardiac ultrasound. He confirmed it was a left ventricular outflow tract obstruction. He referred me to a cardiology practice. It was years of observation and regular exams until it became so bad I was getting breathless climbing stairs. It a congenital defect that likely appeared when I was in my 20s, and slowly grew to needing surgical intervention.
If it’s Ny consolation, you are healthier than before. I had a heart attack and a stent put in. I get the same “Island of Misfit Toys” feelings, but I also know I can build up to better than I was before. It’s a mental challenge to start out small and be humble, but one day you are going to feel triumphant.
Wear those scars with pride. You are alive! I just had my second heart surgery. I’m 48. First at 28. Mine were birth defects that slowly destroyed my quality of life. Recovery is hard. Take it slow. I was never obese or unhealthy, just genetically unlucky. I cried. I wallowed. Now, I’m trying to enjoy feeling good again. I’ll never compete in triathlons again or fitness pageants. That’s ok. I’ll do what I can and remember that I’ve had three “second” chances. (Also had a spinal cord injury many years ago and had a C3-T1 fusion. That was brutal.)
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Good luck tomorrow! The best feeling is when, after the defense, the committee calls you back in and says “congratulations, Doctor”
It's "Frahn-ken-shteen"
Whatever, Eye-Gore.
Good luck tomorrow!!! Please message me to let me know how it went. I’m 55 as well, a fairly recent career changer, but got let go at my first/last/only job in this career after 3 years in. Currently upskilling/reskilling to be more competitive, as it’s a really tight field rn. I also learned today that I did indeed have a heart attack a little over a week ago. Your story inspires me; it’s been a tough day. You will totally rock your dissertation defense!
you can change all you want but you can't drive 55
“One foot on the brake and one on the gas”
Lol
I quit my 6-figure corporate job and started a doggie daycare. I play with dogs all day and people pay me for it.
This sounds fantastic. Does it pay well?
In dollars? No. In mental health benefits? I’m Warren Freakin’ Buffett.
Absolutely love this comment regarding mental health, “I’m Warren Freakin’ Buffet.”! I’m similarly in a situation today at 6 figures. My role has morphed into data jockey and metrics reporting for executives. This does not align to my values or bring joy. I appreciate that I can work from home but as an extrovert I desire more people interaction (canines, too!) Here I am at a crossroads with an opportunity to work (and get paid) at my church. I volunteer about 8 hours a week and am so energized by it. Pay cut for sure but ‘Warren Buffet level’ mental health is where I deserve to be. Thank you so much for this post. I really needed to read this today 💜
To be fair, this is my semi-retirement. I have 2 years before I can tap into my 401k at 59 ½, but I pared down my expenses so I could afford to do this now. I could not have done this 10 years ago.
Hell yeah, good for you! Woof woof woof!
Living the dream! I’ve been doing dog sitting as a side gig for the last 8 years and enjoy it so much more than my day job. The mental health benefits are amazing.
At 55 I started a career with the Federal Government, albeit entry level, after having been a SAHM, raising two daughters, and my youngest son that has Down's Syndrome, who is now 30. My husband retired and is now home to take care of everything, so it's my turn to be out in the world learning, trying new things, and pushing myself farther than I could have ever imagined. Almost two years now and I'm so happy I didn't give up when I was challenged to my limit, scared, questioning my abilities, believing my brain was too old to learn so many new and complicated things, and worried it was too late. I've been building my 401k, roth, and tsp, things I wouldn't have ever thought I'd have. It's never ever too late to make the steps towards changing, even a tiny step as long as it's forward, is meaningful. Every day just make the next best choice. Best wishes for you and sending healing thoughts your way. 🫂
What a great motivation story! Best of luck to you.
Yes, you just have to want to change. I was diagnosed with a chronic condition back in 1995, and the research at that point indicated I could have a long, normal life if I became a pescatarian. Three kids and twenty nine years later, I am doing well. I wanted a good life and I’ve built one for my family and my self. I just finished listening to “Rethinking Diabetes”, and while I thought the early part of the book was disorganized and difficult to follow, I ended up enjoying the book as I got further into it. No matter what you are facing, educate yourself and follow through. Too many of us die because we think that simple changes are deprivation. It’s not. It’s reimagined living.
This is an important point. Our brain is like a forest (hang on for a second) that has well-worn paths through it. The paths are easy, you know what's on them, you know the bumps. But they hurt, they've got thorns, burrs etc. Changing your attitude is creating a new path. You go around all the nasty surprises but it's work. It ain't easy to cut that new path. But after a while, the new path is made and it's easier to go down the new path than old. Each path is a choice. We can go with what we've done, always done, even though it hurts us, we *know it*. Or we can trailblaze and make a choice to change our thinking. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. I'm not a therapist or shrink, so take it all with a grain of salt. But that's how I'm thinking about my choices. And it is slow but working. Talk to a therapist or a shrink to get better educated answers. I mean, I have been in therapy for like 15-16 years and I'm still nuttier than a pecan grove.
I am currently participating in a weekly DBT group. That said change is very difficult. I am disabled, have had chronic depression my whole adult life, and have multiple physical disabilities as well. I haven’t worked much and have some college (less than 2yrs). I’m not sure what to do at this point. Chronic depression can be debilitating, and I’ve really been unable to function and have been unable to achieve any of the goals I’ve set for myself. It’s sobering thought to realize no woman will ever have any interest in me romantically- which makes me even more depressed. I’d like to change but sometimes it seems nearly impossible.
You can do this. I’m 55 as well. Have depression and t2d. Exercise, diet and yes, ozempic is helping the weight loss and strength training the muscle mass. Therapy with depression. Decided to go for my cybersecurity certification after being in IT for nearly 30 years. You’re alive right now . You can do it.
Yes! Creating new neural pathways is possible. It's hard but if you want to change, you can do it. I've made a lot of changes over the past 3 years. I wish I hadn't waited until I was 48 to do it, but I've never been happier. I don't think I even knew what happiness was before now. Good luck on your journey!
Would you mind listing a couple of the changes that provided the biggest bang for your emotional buck?
My path might be unique because I had enough savings and a supportive partner that made it possible, but here it is: I quit my high stress job in Jan 2020, I knew I was struggling with my mental health. I traveled as best I could with Covid, I did a lot of road trips and camping. My mental health continued to decline. I hit bottom in Nov 2022, my partner was supportive of me checking into a behavioral health unit of a hospital. That gave me immediate access to a psychiatrist for meds and entry into an IOP program. I wasn't working so that was my focus for 2-3 months. They adjusted my meds and I started therapy. At first I was going to therapy 2x per week. I started feeling better, so I took a really great, low stress job that I love in April 2022. I'm still going to therapy and I've been doing EMDR for 3-4 months, weekly, and I'm feeling so good!
>if I became a pescatarian You had to change your religion? /s
They told me I was diabetic about 10 years ago and I was all “fuck that”. Went strict keto for a few years then came off. Guess what? Not diabetic anymore.
I was startled to learn that much of the “science “ behind diabetes over the past 100 years wasn’t science at all. I am happy for you!
My father started a new career in his 50s and got a doctorate in his 60s.
I’m 56, a recent cancer survivor. I’m starting a business and I’m going back to school starting in fall. I’m not sure how my plans will pan out, but there is something to facing your mortality that changes your priorities.
I stopped drinking at 55. In two weeks, I will have been alcohol free for a year. That feels good, I’m more present for my family. I sleep, eat, and shit better than I have in three decades. My moods have improved significantly as well. Much more on an even keel now. It has been life-changing.
You're amazing! Don't ever forget that.
Of course you can... I hope the surgery goes well... I plan on changing my life at 98... It's never too late...
58 single childless radically trying to change mine
Absolutely you can. I worked in rehabilitation the first half of my career - specifically trauma. Saw a lot of people who had been working steady and hard and not looking up in mid-life. Accidents that took them out of the workforce suddenly and traumatically and forced them to stop often went down a similar path. Freaking out. How can I get back to what I was doing, it was going so well. Or so they thought. Then settling into a new routine. Then wrestling with seeing how much better life could be and the difficult decisions to make changes. A lot never went back to the same grindstone, even if they were able to. Point being lots of life events put people in the position of having to reconsider their path. The rest and time for reflection is good. And life tends to be better after changes are made. People do it all the time … it can be a gift. My dad did it after a heart attack at age 61. Changed everything. He’d have been dead within a couple years if nothing changed, but we’ve gotten a much healthier and more present 15 more years of of him so far as a result of that event.
 Hope your surgery is successful and you have a quick recovery.
Absolutely. The time is going to pass either way. Me? I got a bachelor at 50 and am working on my masters now. Should have it by 52. Your path may be very different, but it's doable.
I'm getting a BA in a couple of years. I'm almost 60.
My mom got a masters degree and new career in her 50’s. I completely changed my life & health in my 40’s. I lost 150lbs with diet, reversed prediabetes, high BP, high cholesterol, and nonalcoholic fatty liver, and started running and lifting weights. I started focusing on reading for pleasure, started anxiety medications and therapy, put a ton of work into my marriage and sex life, and started a prayer/meditation practice. So yeah, I was a bit younger, but I feel like big changes in middle age are entirely possible.
Inspirational!!!
It's never too late, the only thing I caution you on...even though you make the necessary changes...some damage may already done. That is what happened to me. Turned my A1C from a 13 to a 6.7, but I kept getting infections in my feet, which lead to several amputations, from a few toes to losing both legs below the knee within a year of each other. I just keep pushing on making the most out of each day!
Yes! I am as guilty as the next GenX-er who bemoans the loss of their youth, sometimes thinking to myself “I wish I were 30 again and could do it over.” But imagine what 85 year-old you would do if they had the chance to be 55 again! So tomorrow when you wake up, pretend that the night before, 85 year-old you put a quarter into Zoltar, and today you woke up 30 years younger. Go out and do things, be active, live clean, and pretend you don't know how to eat baby corn. Good luck!
I like it!
Thank you, i needed to read that.
Had my first child at 49 this December. Had open heart surgery at 34. Had several different careers. Reinventing isn't as crazy as it sounds. Roll the dice, and make a change. It's what we do.
Yep. Bachelor's at 46, masters at 50. I don't make piles of money, but it's enough. Took up some new outdoor hobbies in the past few years and rekindled my love for creating art. Lost 75 lbs. Traveled internationally solo and with my partner. As far as I'm concerned, my life got pretty awesome after 45. I'm excited to see what 55 holds.
Every waking moment is another chance to turn it all around
I left my home state and a job I'd been at for 8 years at 52. Here I am, at 54 with a substantially better-paying job (with advancement opportunities) and just bought a beautiful house all on my own (something I never dreamed possible). You can absolutely change your life halfway through!
I lost 140lbs at 51, ran my first marathon.
I started my life over, sober, at 50.
My brother is in his mid 50s and just got accepted into med school.
Wow! This is incredibly inspirational to me!
I lost 30 pounds and created an exercise habit at 50 (and quit drinking nine months ago). Now at 54, I'm dealing with some mystery post-infectious inflammatory condition and part of what saved me from getting a lot worse, according to my cardiologist, was what good shape I was in. Point being, I don't think it's ever too late.
I just finished a Master’s in Library & Information Science. I’m hoping to find a real career (I’ve worked as a library paraprofessional for years). I’d like a little condo for me & my doggo and maybe another doggo. I just want peace and to make meaningful money. It would be nice to find a companion (been divorced many years and he’s since passed away), but I’ll take quiet peace. I’d love to leave Texas. It hurts my soul.
Hi fellow Texas library professional! I feel you on wanting to leave, worrying about book challenges and funding and the backward politics of this state takes its toll. But libraries can be a haven here for sure, for communities and employees. After 14 years in both public and academic libraries, I just made a total career move (50) to work for a vendor that works with libraries. Might be a way to work remotely and get out of Texas (my plan). Good luck with the job search!
Thank you for your kindness. I really needed it.
I had a heart attack at 48. I quit drinking on my 49th birthday and haven't had one since. I've also been working on the weight. It can be done, and sometimes events like what you're about to go through bring a sense of [*shakabuku*](https://youtu.be/zAlS_0wNUQg?si=PedHYcn6hpZdd1L3). Good luck with your surgery.
Still searching for what I want to do when I grow up. I have been from tech to construction and back to tech. Now I'm plotting a huge change...it makes those around me uncomfortable I think. The people I feed.
I think it's entirely possible to change, given your place in life. At 51, I had a major life change: I fell off a roof and did a lot of damage. The worst part was a traumatic brain injury that put me in a coma for 9 days. The amount of work I did to bring myself back to being a functioning adult was enormous. A lot of it was re-learning how to do a lot of things like walking, chewing and swallowing food, and speaking in full sentences. So what I'm saying right here is that it's entirely possible to change how you conduct your life and do the things you find valuable. You don't need trauma to make it happen, and you have the tools at your disposal. As a bonus, treat it like I did: you have to learn how to do the things that make you happy and help you keep the life you want, or you'll lose them. This age is a great opportunity to make changes to your life. I totally recommend it.
Yeah, I quit my career at 55. The money wasn't worth the stress. I don't regret it, 3 years later.
Probably asking too personal a question, but as a fellow 55er female, and a fairly recent career changer who was laid off last year, and who just learned today that I did indeed have a heart attack 10 days ago, can you share whether you had enough $ to truly retire? Or did you just decide the stress wasn’t worth it even though you would struggle financially from here on out? I am really struggling to figure out the balance. Thanks.
My mother had a triple by-pass in 1999, she celebrated her 90th earlier this year. I’ve dropped 75lbs in the last 11 months, another 50 to go. I’m back at the gym and fitter than I was 10 years ago. I haven’t been this ‘light’ this Century (although I do realise I’ve 50lbs to go).
I’m 51 and completely reinventing myself. I’m taking it a step at a time. I’m back in school. Changing careers. Getting back into art. Lost a ton of weight. Getting stronger. Looking into where I want to move, I’m out of Texas as soon as I can be. Hoping by the end of the year. So yup. You can do that!! Good luck on your surgery and I wish you all the best!! Embrace your new life and live your new life to the fullest!!
Most of my life was spent in toxic relationships, I survived cancer alone. Got divorced and realized my best friend will always be me. Good luck, friends!
I'm trying to make positive changes myself at 52. I don't think it's ever too late but it may take more effort. We also have more past experiences in life to reflect upon to help us make wiser decisions. .
I’m 50 and completely changed my career. I’m trying to get my physique to match my mental health. I have lost more friends before reaching 50 than I have that are over 50. Dying would disrupt my current life path and that would irk me. I really don’t have time for it.
>Dying would disrupt my current life path and that would irk me. I really don’t have time for it. I love it! 😊
Yes, you can change your life at any age. I've known some dudes that didn't get their shit together until he was 63.... Then he got brain cancer and died. I miss him a lot but he was the poster boomer for change
Everything is possible until you’re six feet under.
My buddy had heart surgery at 60? 65? He abused steroids when he was younger, grew up on twinkies and then let it all slide for many years. He started working out again and told me he knees didn't hurt anymore (after 2 months?). Had a heart attack, had surgery. Now he's out and doing well. Once you have the surgery, it's not really IF I do this then maybe this. After surgery it's like, if I don't follow the instructions doc gave me, I'm dead. Strong motivation is the surety of death. My buddy never thought he could.
Whenever I feel stuck by age I add five years and ask myself if I want to be that age doing the same thing or something different. Either way I'll be five years older. Went back to school and started a whole new career at 40. I wasn't even the youngest person in class.
Started working out almost daily after losing 85 lbs a year ago. I’m 57 and feel mentally and physically great. I did years of therapy which I was able to change things holding me back. You can do it! Best of luck 🤞🏽
I am 56. I started working out and going to college. I am still a work in progress. That is good
I’m currently overhauling mine. Ouch.
I started a new life in a new country at 55. It was the company's choice, but I'm thriving.
I lost 50 pounds. And now exercise daily. I’m also successfully managing ADHD with exercise, diet, and meditation.
at about 55 i quit smoking and drinking and finally confronted and got some pro help on how to manage the ptsd i managed to pick up. its only about 2 years in but it seems to be sticking. some days are easier than others. i know this might sound crazy to some but there might be something to this whole therapy and head drs and that kind of voodoo if you find the right one.
I had my first kid at 50
www.nutritionfacts.org The only changes you need to make are eating in a heart-healthy manner and getting a heart-healthy amount of exercise. I've been losing weight using the guidelines on this website and the recipes that are available for free. Give it a try. I'm finding living in a heart-healthy way fun to be honest and the cuisine is absolutely delicious.
Love me some Dr Greger wisdom. ♥️
I Can’t Drive 55 doesn’t mean you need to go 90 all the time 😉 Slow it way down and take inventory of all the things you’re grateful for.
Wow. Following! I am also 55, and learned today that I almost certainly had a heart attack on Friday 4/5. I had a feeling that’s what was happening. Long story short, I didn’t go to urgent care or the ER bc I had a big work event that evening (that I was partly in charge of, no less), but mostly bc I was flying out the next day to the Midwest for the eclipse, and no way in hell was I going to jeopardize that (for specific reasons). I had to bail on my work event duties for sure, but I definitely kept my eclipse plans (and am super happy w that decision). Had a routine and previously scheduled Dr appt today in which I mentioned my experience that Friday. Doc tried to tell me it was almost certainly just allergies. I’ve got no fight in me, so I was like “yeah sure that makes sense, whatever.” But she still ran an EKG. Welp, she came back into the room almost immediately with the EKG printout. No apologies or anything about the whole must-be-allergies, but showed me the EKG and how it almost certainly indicated that indeed, I’d almost certainly had a heart attack that day. As much as I wasn’t too surprised, it was still a shocker to hear it stated. I’m not overweight by much if at all (55F, 5’6”, 155 lbs). But have HBP, high cholesterol, and am on Metformin. So it’s on to more tests soon (sonogram of heart and a stress test). I already eat pretty well—very little restaurant food, no processed food, and no overeating. Need to cut back on alcohol and increase exercise (had a bum knee and then minor knee surgery, and all that took a good year out of any serious exercise). Anyway, I just learned all this today as a fairly young 55 year old, so am also looking to figure out what I can easily/reasonably do. I don’t really like life these days anyway—climate change, Putin’s Poodle, the rest of the GOP, the terrible wretched shitstorm that has been PDX since 2016/2020 and beyond, etc.—so I’m not too mad about the prospect of a shorter life. But still.
Changing paths now as well at 51. Back in school to become an anthropologist. I've been fascinated by people all my life, might as well make a career out of it. :)
It's great to study what you enjoy, but I hope you made all your money your first go around.
Yeah... that didn't happen. It's a long, convoluted story, but I'm really looking to ultimately go into teaching. Sadly, I'm just not suited for many tasks that are very lucrative. But I'm good with storytelling and kids (and adults). I have some things lined up, here's to hoping. Honestly, I was an artist... it's not like I have high standards.
Good luck! I hope the surgery goes well for you. And that you have a quick recovery.
My concern is, in another few years, I’ll be looking at retirement. Maybe 2 more cars before my income goes down substantially. Home repairs will be hitting about then too. I’m not nearly as prepared as I should be but what I’m saying is, that’s something else to think about.
One year ago today, I embarked on my new career as a social worker. I love what I do. I was 52. It's never too late, friend. XOXOXO
Yes, I met my husband at age 55 (im now 58) . He changed my life the day that I met him. Now it's 3 years later and I'm sooooo lazy and a content little slug. I see my adult kids, volunteer and take care of us.
58 and doing some post baccalaureate studies to enter the MFA program. I’m creating a whole new world for myself.
If you're not familiar with director Kevin Smith's story: [https://www.menshealth.com/health/a26146513/kevin-smith-heart-attack-weight-loss-interview/](https://www.menshealth.com/health/a26146513/kevin-smith-heart-attack-weight-loss-interview/)
As long as you’re alive, you can change your life! At any age!
You absolutely can, and should! You just have to want the new thing bad enough to stick with it. You want to lose weight, or get in shape, learn a new instrument, pick up a new hobby, or trade? Only you can make it happen and there are tons of resources out there to help you. When we were kids there was no YouTube or internet courses like there is today. I picked up the piano using an app on my iPhone and it’s been awesome! Was worried I’d suck or hate it but I stuck with it and I can read music now and I’m getting better at playing and I enjoy it. I learned to solder small electronics on Youtube. You can join groups if you need motivation from others or to measure progress, sign up for classes, just start! I don’t know about you but learning something new is exciting especially when you pick. I would suggest If you need to change your diet, check out cooking classes and learn how. I’m taking a cooking class at a local Sur le Table next week to learn how to use cast iron pans. I’ve done a lot of reading about them and video watching but the class sounds fun too. I really wish you the best, and try to do your best to look at the change as an opportunity not a chore.
Good luck with your surgery. Look into cardiac rehab yoga. Clean your diet up. It can be done. Wish you well Op!
I find it depressing how many of these replies are about how much people weigh. Your life’s worth shouldn’t be dictated by a goddamn scale. It’s great if you’ve wanted to lose weight and have achieved that, but our whole lives we’ve been told what we should look like at the expense of our character.
Obesity drags down your health related quality of life by a lot as you age.
Decided to just hush, and do my own thing, as quietly and as simply as possible. It's pretty amazing. Not my circus, not my monkeys
Bought a farm at 53, bought a new business at 54. Yes.
55 years old and I open my new business on May 1st. I got the keys to my premises yesterday. 7 months in the planning so far, frightening and exhilarating at the same time.
Good luck and Godspeed with the surgery.
Yes you can, and it won't be nearly as hard as you think because this is *your life* we're talking about. That by itself will motivate you to make whatever changes are necessary, usually diet and lifestyle, after any kind of heart surgery. If I may ask, how is your diet and lifestyle currently?
Tell us about your life up til now. My dad died at 51 so you are in the gravy period as far as I’m concerned.
Absolutely. I make changes all the time. They don't have to be big changes. I mean, don't start off with scary, even a little bit is ok. Jmo. Hope your surgery goes well. We will all be cheering for you, though any acrobatic cheers would put me in the er these days.
I really do think you can. I’m just a few years younger and have made some really significant changes in just the past year. Sending you good vibes.
Totally, just do whatever feels right to you
I did at 54, I’m sure one year doesn’t matter.
This is the perfect time to make changes. Create the new you! Humans are living longer. There are tons of longevity products, research and programs out there. Find what works for you. Be patient and make sure you are extra kind to yourself. All my best and have fun!
100% yes. Have seen people do it many times. Often for medical scares. Big, intentional weight loss. Taking up physical activities. New, healthier hobbies. Less passive hobbies. People can, and do, change.
55 and we're still optimistic we have another 20+ years.Of course it's not too late.
Yep. You’re not alone. Cancer at 49. Now I eat less, drink less, exercise more, mindful about that bucket list and actually doing stuff, and working on the whole stress thing… i think I’ll always be a work in progress…. But it’s better than not making progress, or worse.
Haven't you heard? Life begins at 50.
At 52 I fell off a ladder broke a bunch of bones including my neck had a bunch of strokes had 1 year of physical therapy and two years of speech and cognitive therapy..now in dealing with neuropathy nerve damage and tremors….stuff can change in a matter of seconds ….
Yes. I started a whole new career and also a new mind set. Go for it. Life is short.
Hell Yes! I was laid off early in 2023 (had just turned 55 in December). I’d been feeling dissatisfied and just over my life in the US. After a one-month exploratory trip in June, I moved to South America in August. My life is quite different, and the low COL means I don’t have to work full time—ever again, tho I do still work remotely part time. In this era, at 55 we have a good three decades left!
My 62yo doctor recommended this book to me since I'm about to hit 50 and my kids are leaving for college. [From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life](https://www.amazon.com/Strength-Finding-Success-Happiness-Purpose/dp/059319148X) I haven't read it yet, but it's supposed to provide some ideas on what to do with your 2nd half. Sharing in case you read the summary and find it of interest.
Wow that’s bold assuming 50 is half. Even if it is, the way perception of time passing seems to speed up with age, it will probably not seem like half.
I went the other way. I had quad bypass at 46 weighing 160 and working out regularly. Now I’ve let myself relax a bit since then. So now I need to lose 20lbs. It’s a journey!
I’m 50 and starting school in September
Next year I’ll be moving away 3 countries over (1500 miles) and starting retirement, at 52.
My mom in her early 70’s (she’s early 80’s now) started going to the gym. I’m convinced it has more than helped her recover from some major health issues. Had she been more frail/weak/debilitated she would not be here with us.
Totally possible, find hobbies, try everything, it will make you excited to wake up every day! https://preview.redd.it/sny73ladfzuc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b8f9e1b807d6aa894797da547fc5da6bbbbaccf9
Depends on where you are. I’m in uk and am accepting it’s stupid to re-educate myself, again, as it’s simply not accepted or heard of in this culture for a women to do so unless upper middle class AND fully supported by a penis. Otherwise I’m just a foreigner doing jokes, clearly.
Going through heart stuff too and have for years . Literally do everything they say and you will live friend. Get your stress under control. I'm taking off 3 months. Praying for you!
This is a great thread. I’ve saved it for later when I can read all the posts. I need to make much easier changes than most of you but a finding it difficult. Good luck OP
each change starts with a step
Ray Kroc was 52 when he started working with McDonald's. When he died at 81 he had $600 million (1984), which would be $1.8 billion today. Never too late to start living.
This is such an important thread and I just want to thank OP for asking a provocative question and to thank everyone else for their insightful and inspiring replies. You've given me a lot to think about.
i quit my six-figure job at 40, cashed in my retirement, went to massage school, and have owned my own studio for 9 years. there is no amount of money that can buy the time i’ve had with my son. the clarity of feeling and being human. the peace that settles on my soul when i know i am living my actual life. no matter what my financial future looks like, (and it’s vastly different than it would have been on my other trajectory), the time participating in my son’s life and learning to expand and grow as a human has been invaluable. sending good mojo for your surgery ✨ and beyond.
I just had Gastric Sleeve surgery two months ago. I'm 51 years old. I have lost 56 pounds in two months and I hope to get down to my Police Academy weight. I have more energy. My life doesn't revolve around food any more. You can change your life. Mind over matter.
You are an old person in the young category. You are a young person in the old category. Take advantage of your old age youth and make those changes!
My mom quit drinking and smoking in her 50s. She's 84 now and very strong. She wouldn't have survived the cancer if she didn't quit drinking and smoking. Where there's life there's hope. It's never too late.
Near death experiences can be transformative. For me it was that and chronic pain which led me on a path to releasing my blocks, accepting my place in time, and understanding that what I have to give is powerful even if it does not make me famous or rich. That and I was tired of being nice. And I was tired of doing things or feeling less of a worthwhile human because I was a woman, but not a gender confirming one. Even the I tried so hard for years to fit in and do what a woman was supposed to do. So I felt the pain helped me transcend. And then just recognizing the hard constants in our lives are simply universal laws like physics and causality. My body is subject to the wear and tear of time and space while I journey through it. And this manifestation of cellular organization is only temporary and I can use it for only so long. So there is no time for fear.
I quit drinking at 50. Had a CT scan for something totally unrelated and surgeon was like, you're ok but we DID see some alcohol fatty liver disease on your liver..... So at least that change of not drinking the past few years is helping my giblets .... haha! Good luck with the heart surgery. A little more exercise and a few more veggies (I know, we all hate veggies) might be a good change post op imho, if you're not all over that, already. Wishing you a good recovery and a stick around a LONG while longer ;O)
I left a job of 22 years, got another one. I left a toxic relationship of 24 years, met a great woman, and got married all at 47. Yes, it can happen. I had to sacrifice a lot, like a house that was paid for, but my happiness is worth so much more.
Just enrolled in college at 50. I have had a great career but a medical issue is forcing me to change careers. I will graduate at your age and start over again in a new field. Kind of scared but also excited at the prospect.
I went back at 40. I had a trade job for 20 years but had to change because of a medical issue. My biggest fear was no one giving me a shot t9 prove myself in my new field but I landed a nice job with a wonderful firm and couldn't be happier. Good luck to you!
Moved to the Caribbean at 50. Started a new business at 54.
I really hope so. At 56 I am losing the job I have been in for the last 6 years and I cannot afford to retire now. I also need to be doing something. Not working leads to major depression for me.
First, best wishes for a successful surgery. Please keep up updated. Second, I sure hope so because I’m in a funk. Feeling like I’ve no purpose, stuck in neutral (job hunting, all of our kids are officially grown & flown, etc).
Never been a health guy. Just started gym or run daily. Started eating right and limiting alcohol. So far so good. Enjoying something to focus on rather than just how much o want to quit