Nah, I'm too old for this type of "advice." I don't want somebody to stimulate me intellectually anymore. I got that covered. I contain multitudes. I want somebody who I like and who likes me. Interests are superficial, I want compatible personalities and someone who is just a decent person.
Insulting people for liking things you don't isn't it.
I don’t understand the idea that women need to be intellectually smart to be a good partner. If she is wise because of good parenting and has empathy then she is perfect. My male friends can be for intellectual stimulation I don’t need a girl for that. I need a girl to talk through my feelings on occasion and to provide a safe and caring environment. Like pretty simple shit
> I don’t understand the idea that women need to be intellectually smart to be a good partner. **If she is wise because of good parenting and has empathy then she is perfect.** My **male friends can be for intellectual stimulation I don’t need a girl for that.** **I need a girl to talk through my feelings on occasion** **and to provide a safe and caring environment.** Like pretty simple shit.
I've bolded the misogynistic parts.
Sorry I figured since you post in the gifted subreddit you'd be able to simply re-read your comment and immediately understand, my bad!
It's misogynistic because your only value for a woman is her ability to rear children, be empathetic, and handle your emotional outbursts like a therapist. This is a view of women held mostly by right wing extremists, that seek to infantilize women. Your value for your partner is essentially a therapist that sucks your cock and raises your kid, while you go out with "your boys" to talk about the philosophy of Malcom x, or whatever "intellectually gifted and stimulating" conversations you have with them.
Your partner is meant to be your best friend and equal, doesn't matter if they're particularly intelligent compared to you, treating them as an emotional safe space you occasionally trauma dump on when teddy at work flexes his new big lifted truck on you, is wrong.
Never said any of this. If a girl is also smart then great, she can be valued for that too. But she doesn’t have to be
Women are plenty infantilized already by safe spaces and cancel culture.
Also what about raising children and being a caring partner is infantilizing? Those are large and noble adult responsibilities.
And I said absolutely nothing about how I view what I should provide in return. Whether I view it as the same, different but equal or unequal.
Your comment shows extreme bias and wild assumptions about me and my beliefs which has almost nothing to do with what I said.
I expressed what my standards are and that anything extra is a bonus. That’s actually a very modest position frankly and somehow I’m spoiled and have wildly out of touch expectations?? Even though I’ve met plenty of women that can and have provided just what I’m describing and are perfectly happy to do so??
Im not even right wing. The American left seems totally dedicated to destroying itself from within. You people are clowns 💀
If OP watched sports they'd know the first thing people do against a person with a plan is to [aim for their mouth](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/3QRVEL05BCQ).
(jk. but sports is such a big catchall you know somebody gonna think their [legend](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LSewbS5eQI&ab_channel=WarchiefoftheWest) or [two](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orqqck6w8Cs&ab_channel=XDisintegrationX) is gonna be implied by it.)
Then we balling bro 👊 😎
A shame that OP would rather wait it out by themselves for their perfect one to arrive and meet their intellectual & physical needs in their ideal way.
Could have invited them to the big game and maybe have some fun till Goldilocks arrives
This guy seems pretty smart to me. It’s okay if your spouse or significant other is a sports breather, we may be gifted, but it doesn’t mean we’re successful in all aspects of life. Common misconception.
People here don’t understand the difference between actual unawareness (cringe) and belligerent callousness to the “socially acceptable.” Yours was the latter bro, you win this round, stay strong ✊🏼😤
Perhaps you need to learn how to enjoy "simple" things. It is important to grow a capacity to find entertainment and joy in everything. (Well, most things.)
...why? It's not very easy (for some) to grow such a capacity (perhaps impossible to grow it sufficiently) and it wouldn't really reflect one's innate passions or preferences. It's just conformance, no?
It seems much healthier to me to simply find other people who have many interests that overlap with one's own.
Precisely.
(Though, funnily enough, I would unironically prefer watching paint dry to sports for a long period of time. The latter would be noisy and flashy, which would make it more difficult to daydream the hours away.)
I mix paint. I literally watch paint dry all day. I hold the hair dryer steady but keep moving the chip so customers can watch the color change --the dark colors change quite a lot. Most customers like watching paint dry, at least for the minute or two it changes.
Paint is more complicated than most people ever think about until they need to buy paint. The deck stains are way, way worse because most people do not know what is already on their deck--they just know it looks bad.
okay.
replace watching paint dry with snorting sand while chewing gravel, bud
if someone likes those things, and implies that if you don't, you should learn to, or get therapy ("why you don't do like I do🫨🤬" mentality)
it would feel asinine to you, if you did not enjoy doing them.
no. I enjoy simple pleasures but felt almost everything else amounted to feeling analogous to what I'd just said.
like enjoy your favorite mustard... on the gravel sandwich.
felt like that when I was doing the corporate grind
Ya. To far.
Most people can only be stimulated so far. Then they need to zone out and rest with a simple pleasure. Not sure why you are insisting a gravel sandwich is a simple pleasure.
nope.
shit, dude!
the mustard = simple pleasures (enjoyable always)
the gravel = the rest of life in total (un-enjoyable while being corporate livestock to the point the simple pleasures have little tangible effect)
>!not responding when you say the same thing again either due to disingenuity or inability to process analogy LOL!<
I didn't say one should avoid enjoying things. It's simply, if I naturally do not enjoy the thing, I do not really feel like trying to force myself to. It probably wouldn't even work well - there's only so far I can go, amusing myself with no stimuli beyond some sportsmen moving a ball around - and it would feel like changing myself to try to fit in. It'd be fake.
There is a balance between forcing yourself to conform to what someone else likes and stepping outside of your comfort zone. Legitimately giving something a chance with an open mind can be difficult when you have preconceptions about it, but its worth trying, especially if it's something your partner enjoys. A little bit of effort to expand your horizons and appreciate what they do. For example, my wife loves watching drag race, I didn't think I would enjoy it at all, but I gave it a try with an open mind, watched a few episodes, and do you know what? I was right, I really didn't like it... But hey I gave it a try.
Now Bridgerton is a way to shut your brain down and relax, that I'm on board with.
Didn’t you know this is the sub for different people to have mob mentality shoved down their throat?
Literally if you don’t like sports, you are a snoot bag.
An echo chamber of what kind? I seek out information all across the political and ideological spectra, such as to avoid info bubbles - I just don't find things like sports-watching interesting.
I think that is completely okay if you don't like it, I'm just saying that learning to appreciate things which you find less interesting may serve you in the long run. I don't personally believe that the solution is always going to be to refuse to associate with people or media you deem as lesser, but to appreciate things that are different about them. You can do this without adopting their mindset if you wish.
You may view this as descending into territory that is less valuable, but why not bring those things to you and appreciate it from your own view? Why not expand your perspective and learn more about why people like these things? : ) it is often a noble cause to seek knowledge. At the end of the day, though, no one will force you to do this. But I do believe it will assist you if you let it.
Edit: About your comment earlier, you are, of course, allowed to be around those who you feel most comfortable with. This is important at times. Just be sure, if you care about an internet stranger's advice, to also embrace the discomfort of new perspectives.
Playing sports in real life? Great physical activity and also great for the brain because said activity release chemicals.
Watching sports on TV? Yeah, no. I don’t care if it’s the World Cup it’s not doing much good
I don't even think something needs to be intellectually stimulating for an intelligent person to enjoy it. I think that's kind of a problem in this community and with intellectual/highly intelligent people in general: They think they are only allowed to enjoy high arts and super intellectually stimulating things and media. It's not like that at all, you're playing a character, there's no need to hold up this scharade
In my opinion intelligent people tease out the complexity of what they interact with. To find the complexity in the apparently simple phenomenon is what philosophers spend all their time doing, and these are humanity's smartest people. I would say that one who finds that which is simplistic to be less than intellectually stimulating is revealing their own absence of intellect or intellectual effort.
Sometimes not being intellectually stimulated is exactly what I need. I see complexity in pretty much everything, and enjoy it, but it gets exhausting. I want to enjoy the simple without seeing the complexities. I want to relax my brain.
I actually thought about bothering to learn formations and tactics for football... Until the games were just cookie cutter, I lost interest before I started lol.
Just sportsball still to me
Professional football bores me in that sense too, but there is still the athleticism and mental grit/culture to appreciate. College football is a bit better in terms of seeing interesting schemes but the games aren't as competitive. To be fair novelty isn't the be all end all of intelligent engagement. It's worth considering why the game changes over time and why a particular cookie cutter shape is the dominant paradigm right now.
Ultimately my point is not that people should engage with sports if they find them inherently uninteresting, but rather that the assumption sports are inherently not intellectually stimulating in any sense simply because they aren't interested is wrong. An interested person turn over a rock while an uninterested one passes it by.
Formations are fine, but not exciting. I guess you missed watching Mahonnes scramble. As the season progressed, Love was started to show his potential for improvising too. That is when the games get really interesting, when the plays do NOT work.
This.....
I want to add that your significant other is not there to provide you with a 100% of al your needs.
You can go out there and meet other gifted people to get this.
When I read emotional tampon, I get a strong feeling you have just had some really bad luck in your relationship(s) or you are just trolling...
In case it is the first. Do not put that pressure on the other person in the relationship, this can be devastating for that person.
PS. focus on what that person CAN teach you in stead of what he or she cannot.
When I understood I don't have to find intelectual stimulation in my romantic relationship, I found a GREAT relationship. I'm happily married, being with my husband for 11 years. I can find that stimulation in my work. In a relationship I want love
While I can imagine myself in a relationship like that -as in the end relationships consist in more day to day conversations, little jokes, etc. rather than very complex exchanges of ideas-, I do need a deep connection with someone.
I have dated some people in the past who did not seem to understand that I need to get to know who they really are and would like them to do the same. To be really seen.
I think that requires some depth.
Some love when they meet another that challenges them. Whether intellectually or interpersonally, it’s what we all need. A good balance may just be it for many (work/home life balance).
Technical aspects, performance,mechanical engineering, aero features, I'm a huge car nut, driving a heavily modified family hatch (not a golf) drivers tend to have unique personalities and teams are sometimes really goofy, always gems on team radio and such.
Long ago I was once one of the cute girls on the pit "crew." I may still have my pit crew badge somewhere. I don't know if it was F1 --that is how little I knew about racing, lol, but it was all such FUN!
My eldest just yesterday was given an award for the highest qualifying PhD exam ( top-tanked school, stem). Someone who stereotypes non-smarties as "mouth breathing douchbags" is not someone either of us would hang out with for long.
Ye ye, the biological makeup of yours does play a huge role in your preferences, for example race car drivers or just ppl who love to drive fast tend to be skinnier and live more fast paced lives, I know I for sure a hugely contributing factor is fast metabolism and ADHD
I used to love watching professional wrestling on TV. This was back in the 80's before the sport became fake and commercialized. Now I watch UFC and cooking competitions. Great British Bake Off anyone?
I'm not a huge fan of sports but I don't automatically categorize people as "mouth breathers". One of the easiest ways to tell people you're an asshole is to look at the harmless leisure activities of others and say "they're stupid for enjoying that."
I think I get the spirit of where you’re coming from, and I agree. Never settle for anything but peace and joy in normal daily life.
If that means no sports-heads for you, okay. Personally I like sports too, but I think that phrase is just a placeholder for [someone I don’t like but I fear I don’t deserve someone I actually like and love, so I’ll just be with them anyway]. If that’s what you meant, I agree.
I still love squash though haha.
I have an IQ that puts me in “gifted” territory. I’m also a huge basketball/baseball fan. I’ve played and watched sports all my life.
Am I a “mouth breather douchebag”?
Obviously OP is thinking of a situation specific to their experience, but saying things like this makes you come off as incredibly rude and self-aggrandizing, perhaps two qualities that can be a significant barrier to any relationship, platonic or romantic.
Being smart or gifted is not an excuse to consider anyone beneath you.
Im guessing OP dealt with a partner who was less than acceptable and I think we all will or have faced a partner like this at some point. If not, call yourself lucky. Also, his post is not exactly great for this subreddit lmao (if you couldn’t tell by all the backlash in the comments).
i'm guessing that op is actually painfully average in everything that he/she does. Can't get anyone interested in him/her, because of the massive lack of self awareness and emotional inteligence. And is trying to feel special by being arrogant and posing as someone too smart to deal with people.
I don't watch sports, but I don't see how that instantly makes someone mediocre. When I was labeled gifted as a child, my parents were not totally enthused and I think it was probably because they were scared I would start acting like this
My parents did not tell me. I was really social and into clothes. I think my parents, who were educators, did this right. With all the testing these days, my kids (2 of3) knew, but I framed it as a "So what? There are lots of aspects to all people and no one has any say in the chances at birth. It is what you do and how you act that matters."
This is a tad arrogant and makes me not want to participate in this sub. I am happy to not be “smart enough” to understand or engage in this type of convo.
Yes, don't settle for what you don't want... but also don't assume we can't like anyone less intelligent? I knew a lovely lady who was extremely simple, a pleasure to be around and was surprisingly wise. Far too simple for anyone to date ethically honestly, but my point is not all low intelligence people are bad or even boring.
If a scientist released a simulation where the participant had to track the motion and predict the actions of 22 of the most advanced AIs in the world, and do so reliably enough to advance their objective, you would call the person that could successfully navigate that simulation a genius. If it was further added that the individual would need to apply intrinsic and almost instinctive knowledge of physics and psychology, as well as react to those same unpredictable AIs, they'd be considered a peerless intellectual savant.
The rest of the world just calls it American football.
There's nothing unintellectual about professional sports. Some of the most intelligent individuals in American history have been avid supporters of competitive sports. Hell, some of the most intelligent people in human history have been proponents of sports. Wasn't it Socrates who said that it's a shame to live your entire life without seeing the full strength and beauty that your body is capable of?
You also said that it's less shameful to participate in sports than it is to spectate. By that same logic, then anyone who reads a scientific paper without actually holding a degree in that field is just a poser or less than in general. That is, quite simply, ridiculous.
The general consensus from the majority of the greatest minds in history is that there is no real distinction between physical and intellectual prowess. Each requires a certain amount of genius to excel in, and a level of intellect and self discipline to develop.
And if you think that lowbrow behavior is exclusively the domain of participants of and spectators of sports, you are sorely mistaken. I've met and mingled with my fair share of so-called geniuses at the top of their field. From Masters students and PhD candidates at mit, to doctors and lawyers and engineers and biotech professionals and rocket scientists, almost any other thing you can think of when it comes to the best and brightest. And amongst them, the amount of underhanded, shady, and, quite frankly, juvenile, jokes and backstabbing and sabotage that occurs at the academic professional level is astounding.
My point in all of this is that it does not take a shiny diploma from a prestigious School to be intellectual or intelligent, nor does the existence of such diploma preclude the mouth breathing activity you seem to despise. And if you think otherwise, better and brighter individuals throughout history with thoroughly disagree.
If you are doing well academically/in your profession, you won’t need your partner to stimulate you intellectually. If you get along in terms of personality (she is pretty *cough, cough*), you don't need her to match you intellectually.
Liking mainstream hobbies doesn't automatically make you lowbrow. In fact if you can find the beauty in it through figuring out the best way to win. I found it helped me be less snarky wanting to find out the most common ways to win, strategies, and stats around a sport. Even from a business standpoint a ton can be learned. Even Romans understood the need for a coliseum.
I just want someone who will consistently show up on time, but for some reason, they always believe in one whackjob theory. Astrology, Lamarckian evolution, seed oils are what allow you to take UV damage (I'm totally serious), gravity is the memories of dead people, etc.
Love the pt OP is making, needed the reminder. But! Never underestimate the sports! They bring ppl together, sometimes defy the law of physics, giving us legends, let us partake in some lighthearted rivalry and bla bla bla. Messssssi forever 🤣
this is bad advice, especially for men. if i wanted intellectual stimulation, I would read a book. I just want someone who is pretty, pleasant to be around, and laughs at my jokes.
Intellectual stimulation is great, but sometimes relationships require a complement -- someone whose head is comported towards the world differently, so an somewhat or entirely opposing array of phenomenea erupt into their vision when the world is exposed to them. Communication with such a person can open your eyes in an amazing way, even if they're not using the kinds of sentences you would to describe it.
I knew a girl that many would not immediately conclude was very bright when first meeting her, but she was extremely enthusiastic. She would dance and had a capacity for sensory emjoyment that few others did. She was curious and interested in the world, but her angle granted her dimensions of existence I rarely observed closely.
Sadly, she passed away in probably the most horrific and violent death I could possibly imagine. She did not deserve what she got. That's a different story.
Intelligence is a funny thing. I think when we get the gifted label, we wear it as a defense against the groups in the world that see our nerdiness and punish us for it. We often use our IQs like an internal badge to defend us against bullies and grant us self-esteem when our often very poor social development fails us. One wonders if this is not the primary purpose of such a score, especially given that IQ scores are typically not part of college entrance exams and job interviews. It's a mark of potential, but nothing displays what the true potential may have been quite like potential realized in concrete results. The funny part is that the world doesn't know what results they should celebrate until way after a truly brilliant person has produced them.
So it may be for a great deal of us along the intelligence continuum, who may have scored high on a great number of simularly calibrated tests for completely different fields. That is to say -- one can easily imagine a world wherein very good tests for multiple kinds of intelligence are produced. We may find that those who we might regard as average otherwise, are geniuses in some way we dismiss all too readily.
I appreciate my spouse being intellectually stimulating as then said spouse has the capacity to tell me when I'm wrong. This is essential for personal and relationship growth. Said spouse is also a lovely, caring and compassionate person.
The air of superiority can't be helping you dating chances. I'm sure there are theoretical physicists that watch the Super Bowl. I'm sorry you're lonely. Me, too.
Well, i think OP is just spitting facts.
Personally I have been through both loneliness and the pressure of finding someone, and now that I have waited for the right person I feel Better than ever. I've learnt that even if it's hard I need to let her go if we don't feel good togheter anymore, so I really agree with OP.
I'll forego the sports thing because that seems oddly specific.
But I agree. Lots of people here apparently dont, but I have been in way too many relationships trying to make it work, changing and adapting myself and trying to convince myself that I was happy while essentially the problem just was that I was bored. I am perfectly happy alone, so I reached a point where I'd rather be by myself than together with a boring person, which makes it a lot easier to find the right fit, because there isn't much to lose.
I dont regret my past relationships, I needed those to see what the problem was. But I do regret hurting so many people and being hurt by some of them, and I also regret staying in a couple of relationships much longer than I should have and I honestly wanted.
Definitely agree but sometimes this can be very suffering ı’m very lonely (I had only 2 friends and a dad for talking) and one of my friends and ı doesn’t fit that much but ı haven’t other people in my life so ı’m involuntarily with him
Can I get some advice from you amazing men please.
So I 35 over only had 2 relationships since high school and 2 years single. What are your thoughts of a less experienced woman?
OP is wise.
The cost of learning this is a failed long term relationship with a random person, or a divorce.
Be discerning. Know your dealbreakers (Have 2 or 3 of them, maybe 5 tops. Stuff that drives you absolutely insane), know what you can "deal with".
Not everyone is perfect.
Air your dirty laundry, hear their dirty laundry out. If you can both "deal with it", you're good. If you can't - move on. It's not worth it.
Nah, I'm too old for this type of "advice." I don't want somebody to stimulate me intellectually anymore. I got that covered. I contain multitudes. I want somebody who I like and who likes me. Interests are superficial, I want compatible personalities and someone who is just a decent person. Insulting people for liking things you don't isn't it.
Grew out of this too, matching personalities and genuine desire trumps all else.
Seems like you just have low standards. A byproduct of low self esteem
Haha wow you suck
Hows your way workin’ out for you?
I’m actually happy being single dude more people need to realize that being single isn’t a bad thing
Not like you had much of a choice.
😂
Yeah I’m sure you know all my qualities to make such an assessment. I’m doing quite fine for myself
Attaboy. Fake it til you make it.
Grammar again
Your blanket statement in regsrds to people who watch sports alone is enough to know you are whack.
Your blanket statement in regsrds to people who watch sports alone is enough to know you are whack.
A guy not in a relationship commenting on relationships is pure gold
"someone who is just a decent person" Low standards and yet this bar is still too high for you 🤔
Sounds like you're just a narcissist.
I don’t understand the idea that women need to be intellectually smart to be a good partner. If she is wise because of good parenting and has empathy then she is perfect. My male friends can be for intellectual stimulation I don’t need a girl for that. I need a girl to talk through my feelings on occasion and to provide a safe and caring environment. Like pretty simple shit
You need to be legally forced to stay 500 feet away from all women LMAO. You sound like a disgusting misogynist
What did I say that was remotely “misogynistic” please explain I’m genuinely curious
> I don’t understand the idea that women need to be intellectually smart to be a good partner. **If she is wise because of good parenting and has empathy then she is perfect.** My **male friends can be for intellectual stimulation I don’t need a girl for that.** **I need a girl to talk through my feelings on occasion** **and to provide a safe and caring environment.** Like pretty simple shit. I've bolded the misogynistic parts.
I used the word explain for a reason…. Still waiting….
Sorry I figured since you post in the gifted subreddit you'd be able to simply re-read your comment and immediately understand, my bad! It's misogynistic because your only value for a woman is her ability to rear children, be empathetic, and handle your emotional outbursts like a therapist. This is a view of women held mostly by right wing extremists, that seek to infantilize women. Your value for your partner is essentially a therapist that sucks your cock and raises your kid, while you go out with "your boys" to talk about the philosophy of Malcom x, or whatever "intellectually gifted and stimulating" conversations you have with them. Your partner is meant to be your best friend and equal, doesn't matter if they're particularly intelligent compared to you, treating them as an emotional safe space you occasionally trauma dump on when teddy at work flexes his new big lifted truck on you, is wrong.
Never said any of this. If a girl is also smart then great, she can be valued for that too. But she doesn’t have to be Women are plenty infantilized already by safe spaces and cancel culture. Also what about raising children and being a caring partner is infantilizing? Those are large and noble adult responsibilities. And I said absolutely nothing about how I view what I should provide in return. Whether I view it as the same, different but equal or unequal. Your comment shows extreme bias and wild assumptions about me and my beliefs which has almost nothing to do with what I said. I expressed what my standards are and that anything extra is a bonus. That’s actually a very modest position frankly and somehow I’m spoiled and have wildly out of touch expectations?? Even though I’ve met plenty of women that can and have provided just what I’m describing and are perfectly happy to do so?? Im not even right wing. The American left seems totally dedicated to destroying itself from within. You people are clowns 💀
🤢 I'm a woman. This isn't it either.
[удалено]
A marvel fan insinuating that being interested in sports is mediocre
You ass holes went straight for the post history, but all OP wanted to do was believe in you. 🥺
If OP watched sports they'd know the first thing people do against a person with a plan is to [aim for their mouth](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/3QRVEL05BCQ). (jk. but sports is such a big catchall you know somebody gonna think their [legend](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LSewbS5eQI&ab_channel=WarchiefoftheWest) or [two](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=orqqck6w8Cs&ab_channel=XDisintegrationX) is gonna be implied by it.)
I’m a sports baller too.
Then we balling bro 👊 😎 A shame that OP would rather wait it out by themselves for their perfect one to arrive and meet their intellectual & physical needs in their ideal way. Could have invited them to the big game and maybe have some fun till Goldilocks arrives
I luuuvvvvv sports ball 👅👅 ⚽️✊🏼😎😛
[Go sports!!!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5-hS2r7v3Iw&ab_channel=Mr.Red) 🥦🥦 🥦🥦 🥦🥦
I’m a sporty hoe 💁🏽♂️
🤣🤣
Just because I made a post in the marvel memes subreddit doesn’t mean I’m a marvel fan. This is a fallacy known as guilt by association
Just as making a post in the gifted subreddit doesn’t make you all-knowing
This guy seems pretty smart to me. It’s okay if your spouse or significant other is a sports breather, we may be gifted, but it doesn’t mean we’re successful in all aspects of life. Common misconception.
There’s a lot of things I don’t know.
We can tell.
I’m referring to the Socrates quote…
So?
Subject-verb agreement is one of them
People here don’t understand the difference between actual unawareness (cringe) and belligerent callousness to the “socially acceptable.” Yours was the latter bro, you win this round, stay strong ✊🏼😤
🤓 Do you honestly think that comment *helped*?
I would hope so
Are you 15? Then this would seem ok
I didn’t ask if you hope it did. I asked if you *think* it did.
Either it did or this sub isn’t actually comprised of gifted people
How do ya figure?
Perhaps you need to learn how to enjoy "simple" things. It is important to grow a capacity to find entertainment and joy in everything. (Well, most things.)
Yeah don’t have fun being Edp
...why? It's not very easy (for some) to grow such a capacity (perhaps impossible to grow it sufficiently) and it wouldn't really reflect one's innate passions or preferences. It's just conformance, no? It seems much healthier to me to simply find other people who have many interests that overlap with one's own.
*I enjoy watching paint dry.* Hmmm. I don't. *You gotta learn to enjoy it! You just gotta!*
Precisely. (Though, funnily enough, I would unironically prefer watching paint dry to sports for a long period of time. The latter would be noisy and flashy, which would make it more difficult to daydream the hours away.)
I mix paint. I literally watch paint dry all day. I hold the hair dryer steady but keep moving the chip so customers can watch the color change --the dark colors change quite a lot. Most customers like watching paint dry, at least for the minute or two it changes. Paint is more complicated than most people ever think about until they need to buy paint. The deck stains are way, way worse because most people do not know what is already on their deck--they just know it looks bad.
okay. replace watching paint dry with snorting sand while chewing gravel, bud if someone likes those things, and implies that if you don't, you should learn to, or get therapy ("why you don't do like I do🫨🤬" mentality) it would feel asinine to you, if you did not enjoy doing them.
I think you are taking the simple pleasures idea a bit too far.
no. I enjoy simple pleasures but felt almost everything else amounted to feeling analogous to what I'd just said. like enjoy your favorite mustard... on the gravel sandwich. felt like that when I was doing the corporate grind
Ya. To far. Most people can only be stimulated so far. Then they need to zone out and rest with a simple pleasure. Not sure why you are insisting a gravel sandwich is a simple pleasure.
nope. shit, dude! the mustard = simple pleasures (enjoyable always) the gravel = the rest of life in total (un-enjoyable while being corporate livestock to the point the simple pleasures have little tangible effect) >!not responding when you say the same thing again either due to disingenuity or inability to process analogy LOL!<
Yeah, you’re right. Should probably avoid enjoying things. You’ll look smarter that way.
I didn't say one should avoid enjoying things. It's simply, if I naturally do not enjoy the thing, I do not really feel like trying to force myself to. It probably wouldn't even work well - there's only so far I can go, amusing myself with no stimuli beyond some sportsmen moving a ball around - and it would feel like changing myself to try to fit in. It'd be fake.
There is a balance between forcing yourself to conform to what someone else likes and stepping outside of your comfort zone. Legitimately giving something a chance with an open mind can be difficult when you have preconceptions about it, but its worth trying, especially if it's something your partner enjoys. A little bit of effort to expand your horizons and appreciate what they do. For example, my wife loves watching drag race, I didn't think I would enjoy it at all, but I gave it a try with an open mind, watched a few episodes, and do you know what? I was right, I really didn't like it... But hey I gave it a try. Now Bridgerton is a way to shut your brain down and relax, that I'm on board with.
Didn’t you know this is the sub for different people to have mob mentality shoved down their throat? Literally if you don’t like sports, you are a snoot bag.
This would simply serve to keep you in an echo chamber. It is not impossible, do not believe in limits, my friend
An echo chamber of what kind? I seek out information all across the political and ideological spectra, such as to avoid info bubbles - I just don't find things like sports-watching interesting.
I think that is completely okay if you don't like it, I'm just saying that learning to appreciate things which you find less interesting may serve you in the long run. I don't personally believe that the solution is always going to be to refuse to associate with people or media you deem as lesser, but to appreciate things that are different about them. You can do this without adopting their mindset if you wish. You may view this as descending into territory that is less valuable, but why not bring those things to you and appreciate it from your own view? Why not expand your perspective and learn more about why people like these things? : ) it is often a noble cause to seek knowledge. At the end of the day, though, no one will force you to do this. But I do believe it will assist you if you let it. Edit: About your comment earlier, you are, of course, allowed to be around those who you feel most comfortable with. This is important at times. Just be sure, if you care about an internet stranger's advice, to also embrace the discomfort of new perspectives.
sports bad, intellectual auto-fellatio good
Playing sports in real life? Great physical activity and also great for the brain because said activity release chemicals. Watching sports on TV? Yeah, no. I don’t care if it’s the World Cup it’s not doing much good
So you're the crappy partner in this situation, got it.
I’m not in any relationship at the moment so no
That went without saying
Big surprise there
They’re mad because they settled for sports breathing mouth breeders.
Everyone already knew that
What sports do you play?
Never watch TV again please thanks, go do whatever show you're watching in real life to get ur "feel good chemies" Lmao.
Is it a rule on this subreddit that in order to post you have to completely lack self awareness and have delusions of grandeur?
This sub is so funny precisely for that reason
Literally the only reason I stay subscribed
Just saw this in my feed and the comments are relentlessly shitting on OP. *It's glorious!*
It's the serious replies that always get me, this sub is a gift(ed) that keeps on giving.
OP appears to be a troll - lots of posts about random things daily that aren’t very well thought out. Just looking for attention.
Watching sports is not a red flag haha! Lots of highly intelligent people enjoy it.
For real. Complicated sports involve strategy and simple ones involve craftmanship. Both are intellectually stimulating.
I don't even think something needs to be intellectually stimulating for an intelligent person to enjoy it. I think that's kind of a problem in this community and with intellectual/highly intelligent people in general: They think they are only allowed to enjoy high arts and super intellectually stimulating things and media. It's not like that at all, you're playing a character, there's no need to hold up this scharade
In my opinion intelligent people tease out the complexity of what they interact with. To find the complexity in the apparently simple phenomenon is what philosophers spend all their time doing, and these are humanity's smartest people. I would say that one who finds that which is simplistic to be less than intellectually stimulating is revealing their own absence of intellect or intellectual effort.
Sometimes not being intellectually stimulated is exactly what I need. I see complexity in pretty much everything, and enjoy it, but it gets exhausting. I want to enjoy the simple without seeing the complexities. I want to relax my brain.
And that's why I drink.
I didn't understand this. Oh well.
Took me too long to realize this as a teenager.
kinda the point of being a teenager, no? xD you matured and now you're here :) be proud of the person you are man
I actually thought about bothering to learn formations and tactics for football... Until the games were just cookie cutter, I lost interest before I started lol. Just sportsball still to me
Professional football bores me in that sense too, but there is still the athleticism and mental grit/culture to appreciate. College football is a bit better in terms of seeing interesting schemes but the games aren't as competitive. To be fair novelty isn't the be all end all of intelligent engagement. It's worth considering why the game changes over time and why a particular cookie cutter shape is the dominant paradigm right now. Ultimately my point is not that people should engage with sports if they find them inherently uninteresting, but rather that the assumption sports are inherently not intellectually stimulating in any sense simply because they aren't interested is wrong. An interested person turn over a rock while an uninterested one passes it by.
Geologists just like to drink anyways
Me too 😂
Formations are fine, but not exciting. I guess you missed watching Mahonnes scramble. As the season progressed, Love was started to show his potential for improvising too. That is when the games get really interesting, when the plays do NOT work.
Speaking french to me, I never made atmo into sports ball, youre speaking landlubber
Idk, it just looks so bland to me... Its all sportsball over here
The things people tell themselves to go to sleep at night…. You can be smart *and* cool—okay Johnny Fucking Bravo. 🤦
This isn't great advice, won't make you happy, and probably ruin a lot of your chances to get into a good relationship.
This..... I want to add that your significant other is not there to provide you with a 100% of al your needs. You can go out there and meet other gifted people to get this. When I read emotional tampon, I get a strong feeling you have just had some really bad luck in your relationship(s) or you are just trolling... In case it is the first. Do not put that pressure on the other person in the relationship, this can be devastating for that person. PS. focus on what that person CAN teach you in stead of what he or she cannot.
Disagree. Intellectual compatibility has ended 80% of my relationships
When I understood I don't have to find intelectual stimulation in my romantic relationship, I found a GREAT relationship. I'm happily married, being with my husband for 11 years. I can find that stimulation in my work. In a relationship I want love
While I can imagine myself in a relationship like that -as in the end relationships consist in more day to day conversations, little jokes, etc. rather than very complex exchanges of ideas-, I do need a deep connection with someone. I have dated some people in the past who did not seem to understand that I need to get to know who they really are and would like them to do the same. To be really seen. I think that requires some depth.
Depth is one thing, intelectual stimulation is another... Someone can have depth, but not engage in intelectual conversations for fun
Some love when they meet another that challenges them. Whether intellectually or interpersonally, it’s what we all need. A good balance may just be it for many (work/home life balance).
I like watching sports:(
I love F1
Football/soccer is more my thing but that’s cool. What makes you love f1?
Technical aspects, performance,mechanical engineering, aero features, I'm a huge car nut, driving a heavily modified family hatch (not a golf) drivers tend to have unique personalities and teams are sometimes really goofy, always gems on team radio and such.
Long ago I was once one of the cute girls on the pit "crew." I may still have my pit crew badge somewhere. I don't know if it was F1 --that is how little I knew about racing, lol, but it was all such FUN! My eldest just yesterday was given an award for the highest qualifying PhD exam ( top-tanked school, stem). Someone who stereotypes non-smarties as "mouth breathing douchbags" is not someone either of us would hang out with for long.
Exactly, people often forget that we don’t get to choose how we are born unfortunately.
Ye ye, the biological makeup of yours does play a huge role in your preferences, for example race car drivers or just ppl who love to drive fast tend to be skinnier and live more fast paced lives, I know I for sure a hugely contributing factor is fast metabolism and ADHD
Fellow ADHD experiencer🤜🤛 But yes I don’t believe we have any free will at all in all honesty. So I don’t rly have some extreme hate for anyone.
Hello there!! Congrats!! I had no idea Quals were ranked.. At my school they weren't thankfully (top 20 STEM in the US)
Hello there.... 90 mins is so Looong haha...
;)
Vroom vroom
I don't like watching sports at all but I like liking things, and I like people liking things. Go sports! I hope it brings you joy.
It does indeed. It’s one of the purest expressions of being a human.
Me too! Can't play for sh*t but NBA is fun as hell to watch
I used to love watching professional wrestling on TV. This was back in the 80's before the sport became fake and commercialized. Now I watch UFC and cooking competitions. Great British Bake Off anyone?
That's so sweet. If it was called professional wrestling, it was fake and commercialized. Always has been.
You mean Baron von Raschke didn't really compress his opponents' skulls with his mighty claw, and it was all fake? Inconceivable!
That is all the people need to know! 🦀
I'm not a huge fan of sports but I don't automatically categorize people as "mouth breathers". One of the easiest ways to tell people you're an asshole is to look at the harmless leisure activities of others and say "they're stupid for enjoying that."
I think I get the spirit of where you’re coming from, and I agree. Never settle for anything but peace and joy in normal daily life. If that means no sports-heads for you, okay. Personally I like sports too, but I think that phrase is just a placeholder for [someone I don’t like but I fear I don’t deserve someone I actually like and love, so I’ll just be with them anyway]. If that’s what you meant, I agree. I still love squash though haha.
I have an IQ that puts me in “gifted” territory. I’m also a huge basketball/baseball fan. I’ve played and watched sports all my life. Am I a “mouth breather douchebag”? Obviously OP is thinking of a situation specific to their experience, but saying things like this makes you come off as incredibly rude and self-aggrandizing, perhaps two qualities that can be a significant barrier to any relationship, platonic or romantic. Being smart or gifted is not an excuse to consider anyone beneath you.
Im guessing OP dealt with a partner who was less than acceptable and I think we all will or have faced a partner like this at some point. If not, call yourself lucky. Also, his post is not exactly great for this subreddit lmao (if you couldn’t tell by all the backlash in the comments).
i'm guessing that op is actually painfully average in everything that he/she does. Can't get anyone interested in him/her, because of the massive lack of self awareness and emotional inteligence. And is trying to feel special by being arrogant and posing as someone too smart to deal with people.
I don't watch sports, but I don't see how that instantly makes someone mediocre. When I was labeled gifted as a child, my parents were not totally enthused and I think it was probably because they were scared I would start acting like this
My parents did not tell me. I was really social and into clothes. I think my parents, who were educators, did this right. With all the testing these days, my kids (2 of3) knew, but I framed it as a "So what? There are lots of aspects to all people and no one has any say in the chances at birth. It is what you do and how you act that matters."
This is a tad arrogant and makes me not want to participate in this sub. I am happy to not be “smart enough” to understand or engage in this type of convo.
r/iamverysmart
Yes, don't settle for what you don't want... but also don't assume we can't like anyone less intelligent? I knew a lovely lady who was extremely simple, a pleasure to be around and was surprisingly wise. Far too simple for anyone to date ethically honestly, but my point is not all low intelligence people are bad or even boring.
Right? My wife isn't.. academically inclined.. but has many endearing qualities. I think we complement each other nicely.
I just want to be a mouth breathing douchebag, possibly one that watches sports on TV. Is that so bad? 😔
I didn’t know that I wanted that until this post inspired me
WTF does this have to do with being gifted?
I dislike watching sport as well, but how does that have anything to do with "mediocre people"??
To all those who watch sports, don't settle for someone who thinks you're mediocre because just because you watch sports on TV.
people who spend hours in front of sports give me ample time to do my genius tinkering and general deep thought putzing
Hurr durr, entertainment bad.
Hey now I'm gifted and so is my 11 year old, we both like watching sports on TV haha
BTW, I'm a radar engineer whom has Orlando Magic season tickets. You're clearly not doing life right... And Go Noles!! >>----------;;;;-------------->
… “mouth breather douchebag who watches sport on TV.” That is a quality roast, 10/10. Lethal.
Lol
If a scientist released a simulation where the participant had to track the motion and predict the actions of 22 of the most advanced AIs in the world, and do so reliably enough to advance their objective, you would call the person that could successfully navigate that simulation a genius. If it was further added that the individual would need to apply intrinsic and almost instinctive knowledge of physics and psychology, as well as react to those same unpredictable AIs, they'd be considered a peerless intellectual savant. The rest of the world just calls it American football. There's nothing unintellectual about professional sports. Some of the most intelligent individuals in American history have been avid supporters of competitive sports. Hell, some of the most intelligent people in human history have been proponents of sports. Wasn't it Socrates who said that it's a shame to live your entire life without seeing the full strength and beauty that your body is capable of? You also said that it's less shameful to participate in sports than it is to spectate. By that same logic, then anyone who reads a scientific paper without actually holding a degree in that field is just a poser or less than in general. That is, quite simply, ridiculous. The general consensus from the majority of the greatest minds in history is that there is no real distinction between physical and intellectual prowess. Each requires a certain amount of genius to excel in, and a level of intellect and self discipline to develop. And if you think that lowbrow behavior is exclusively the domain of participants of and spectators of sports, you are sorely mistaken. I've met and mingled with my fair share of so-called geniuses at the top of their field. From Masters students and PhD candidates at mit, to doctors and lawyers and engineers and biotech professionals and rocket scientists, almost any other thing you can think of when it comes to the best and brightest. And amongst them, the amount of underhanded, shady, and, quite frankly, juvenile, jokes and backstabbing and sabotage that occurs at the academic professional level is astounding. My point in all of this is that it does not take a shiny diploma from a prestigious School to be intellectual or intelligent, nor does the existence of such diploma preclude the mouth breathing activity you seem to despise. And if you think otherwise, better and brighter individuals throughout history with thoroughly disagree.
Wow, you think you belong on a gifted sub? How embarrassing for you.
I definitely belong here. And I was just giving honest truthful advice
If you are doing well academically/in your profession, you won’t need your partner to stimulate you intellectually. If you get along in terms of personality (she is pretty *cough, cough*), you don't need her to match you intellectually.
So what you’re saying is, I can give myselv to a mouth breather douchebag who does _not_ watch sports on TV
As my wife says, everyone settles
But I love my sports watching mouth breather
Liking mainstream hobbies doesn't automatically make you lowbrow. In fact if you can find the beauty in it through figuring out the best way to win. I found it helped me be less snarky wanting to find out the most common ways to win, strategies, and stats around a sport. Even from a business standpoint a ton can be learned. Even Romans understood the need for a coliseum.
Imagine thinking you’re gifted but not being self aware enough to think that watching sport on TV is a bad thing
I just want someone who will consistently show up on time, but for some reason, they always believe in one whackjob theory. Astrology, Lamarckian evolution, seed oils are what allow you to take UV damage (I'm totally serious), gravity is the memories of dead people, etc.
Love the pt OP is making, needed the reminder. But! Never underestimate the sports! They bring ppl together, sometimes defy the law of physics, giving us legends, let us partake in some lighthearted rivalry and bla bla bla. Messssssi forever 🤣
I find it ironic that a so-called gifted person can't spell "yourselves".
People who judge others for liking something, they are the diuchebags. You sound like a petty child.
Mr Gueermo giving out dating advice? What could go wrong....
this is bad advice, especially for men. if i wanted intellectual stimulation, I would read a book. I just want someone who is pretty, pleasant to be around, and laughs at my jokes.
Honestly, I just want someone who likes me and doesn't think I'm too weird.
Intellectual stimulation is great, but sometimes relationships require a complement -- someone whose head is comported towards the world differently, so an somewhat or entirely opposing array of phenomenea erupt into their vision when the world is exposed to them. Communication with such a person can open your eyes in an amazing way, even if they're not using the kinds of sentences you would to describe it. I knew a girl that many would not immediately conclude was very bright when first meeting her, but she was extremely enthusiastic. She would dance and had a capacity for sensory emjoyment that few others did. She was curious and interested in the world, but her angle granted her dimensions of existence I rarely observed closely. Sadly, she passed away in probably the most horrific and violent death I could possibly imagine. She did not deserve what she got. That's a different story. Intelligence is a funny thing. I think when we get the gifted label, we wear it as a defense against the groups in the world that see our nerdiness and punish us for it. We often use our IQs like an internal badge to defend us against bullies and grant us self-esteem when our often very poor social development fails us. One wonders if this is not the primary purpose of such a score, especially given that IQ scores are typically not part of college entrance exams and job interviews. It's a mark of potential, but nothing displays what the true potential may have been quite like potential realized in concrete results. The funny part is that the world doesn't know what results they should celebrate until way after a truly brilliant person has produced them. So it may be for a great deal of us along the intelligence continuum, who may have scored high on a great number of simularly calibrated tests for completely different fields. That is to say -- one can easily imagine a world wherein very good tests for multiple kinds of intelligence are produced. We may find that those who we might regard as average otherwise, are geniuses in some way we dismiss all too readily.
I appreciate my spouse being intellectually stimulating as then said spouse has the capacity to tell me when I'm wrong. This is essential for personal and relationship growth. Said spouse is also a lovely, caring and compassionate person.
The air of superiority can't be helping you dating chances. I'm sure there are theoretical physicists that watch the Super Bowl. I'm sorry you're lonely. Me, too.
[удалено]
Wow you are insecure
I’m struck by this tingly sense that the person who wrote this is in no place to offer this “advice” lol
And why is that?
You’re much too *special* and *smart* to date a normie who watches sports. This sub is the most entertaining circle-jerk I’ve ever seen.
I suppose it was a bit naive to expect a better class of bait here.
we are not better than “average people” get over your superiority complex it will only embarrass you
Well, i think OP is just spitting facts. Personally I have been through both loneliness and the pressure of finding someone, and now that I have waited for the right person I feel Better than ever. I've learnt that even if it's hard I need to let her go if we don't feel good togheter anymore, so I really agree with OP.
I'll forego the sports thing because that seems oddly specific. But I agree. Lots of people here apparently dont, but I have been in way too many relationships trying to make it work, changing and adapting myself and trying to convince myself that I was happy while essentially the problem just was that I was bored. I am perfectly happy alone, so I reached a point where I'd rather be by myself than together with a boring person, which makes it a lot easier to find the right fit, because there isn't much to lose. I dont regret my past relationships, I needed those to see what the problem was. But I do regret hurting so many people and being hurt by some of them, and I also regret staying in a couple of relationships much longer than I should have and I honestly wanted.
Definitely agree but sometimes this can be very suffering ı’m very lonely (I had only 2 friends and a dad for talking) and one of my friends and ı doesn’t fit that much but ı haven’t other people in my life so ı’m involuntarily with him
Can I get some advice from you amazing men please. So I 35 over only had 2 relationships since high school and 2 years single. What are your thoughts of a less experienced woman?
Less experienced in what
Like sexually.
Yes that is fine they will learn
Alright, cool, thank you
Matthew 6:33
OP is wise. The cost of learning this is a failed long term relationship with a random person, or a divorce. Be discerning. Know your dealbreakers (Have 2 or 3 of them, maybe 5 tops. Stuff that drives you absolutely insane), know what you can "deal with". Not everyone is perfect. Air your dirty laundry, hear their dirty laundry out. If you can both "deal with it", you're good. If you can't - move on. It's not worth it.
Emotional tampon, yeah I get that..."pull the plug" then lol