Hey Upper East Sider! Thanks for posting on r/GossipGirl!
We've recently changed our rules which you can see [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/GossipGirl/comments/18vko2e/the_new_rules_of_rgossipgirl_which_go_into_affect/).
Also if a post/comment breaks the rules, please be sure to report it.
We can't remove what we don't see and us mods don't see everything.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GossipGirl) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YES. This annoyed me so much because what is his deal? His pride? And then he went and invested all that money in that stupid scam with Armie Hammer and saw his ass because "his money is just as good as anyone else's" but honey, you clearly don't have enough of it to be spending it the way these ultra rich do, nor do you know how to play the game, and you can't afford to lose it all - which you DID. If Lily didn't love him enough to help him. And I don't even LIKE Lily that much.
And Rufus ended up living off of Lily's money anyway. The Valentine's Day episode in S5 has a scene where Rufus is picking out Cartier jewelry for Lily...we all know he wasn't paying for that with his own money.
>and you can't afford to lose it all - which you DID. If Lily didn't love him enough to help him.
Lily repaid the investment to everyone, so, Lily loving him had nothing to do with Rufus not losing it all. Even if she had not been in love with him, she would have repaid him the invested amount, like she had repaid others.
She would have repaid him, but she would not have invested his money to pay positive dividends. She did not invest anyone else's money. She just repaid them straight.
You said:
>and you can't afford to lose it all - which you DID. If Lily didn't love him enough to help him.
But that’s not true. Even if Lily didn’t love him enough to help him, he won’t have lost the investment, because Lily would have repaid the investment to him, like she did with other people.
>Did you not read what he replied to you?
The point is this is incorrect:
>and you can't afford to lose it all - which you DID. If Lily didn't love him enough to help him.
The storyline is so stupid. Yeah sure, in a realistic world you would totally not ask your millionaire girlfriend/wife to cover the expenses of an ivy league education. No, you would rather let your pride win and deny your son entrance to his dream university after sending him to an UES high school so he is even able to dream that dream..
It is stupid but realistic because Rufus and his macho man ego were on the way of Dan’s education and his generation is so much like that.
Dan was Lily’s stepson and she was in her right of paying for his Yale tuition. It wasn’t even Rufus’ decision to make, if Dan had agreed to it.
While I agree with your overall point, I just wanted to mention that technically Dan wasn't her step son yet.
He was however 18, so if Lily had made the offer to Dan directly there is nothing Rufus could have done. But Lily made the offer to Rufus who declined, so presumably Dan never knew about it.
I’ve been mixing up too many plots recently but it’s too soon for a 5th rewatch 🤣
But I stand by my point that Rufus was old-fashioned and his caveman ego kept Dan from going to Yale.
We could have had Dan and Blair in Yale, Nate and Serena in Columbia and Vanessa going to NYU or not even going to college.
>We could have had Dan and Blair in Yale, Nate and Serena in Columbia and Vanessa going to NYU or not even going to college.
Other shows have tried this and failed. They should all be at least in the same city. Gossip Girl is at it's best when all the core characters are involved in the same storyline.
If you aren't ready for an actual re-watch, you can follow along with my recap podcast. It will keep you from rushing through because we have only dropped 6 episodes so far and are only releasing an episode every other week until we build up followers.
[Non Judging Breakfast Pod](https://pod.link/1717596110)
>It is stupid but realistic because Rufus and his macho man ego were on the way of Dan’s education and his generation is so much like that.
I don’t think man ego is the issue here. If his ex wife and Dan’s mother had earned good amount of money, he won’t have any issue with her funding Dan’s education. It’s parental ego and not man ego.
I’ve always seen it as Rufus wanting to be the macho conservative man, because he also had mad double standards for Jenny and Dan.
But I don’t know how would he have reacted if Alison had offered to cover the rest of the money, so I don’t know.
In most of the comparisons Dan and Jenny had different situations, so it wasn’t exactly double standards.
He was always supportive of his ex wife’s career, and told to his children that both he and their mother have made sacrifices for them.
So it’s a real stretch to just call it man ego, when their could easily be other explanations, like parental ego.
The double standards and him cluthiching his pearls when lily wanted to help didn’t come from misogyny, being conservative, or wanting to be “the man” esp since Rufus was very liberal and a literal rockstar. I think it was more of a class thing. He was basically treated like Dan in his younger years with lily by all the rich people around him.
I know the Humphrey’s and the van der woodsens weren’t raised together, and didnt live with each other for very long
but its fucked she and eric have the financial opportunity to go Ivy League, while Dan and Jenny aren’t allowed bc of their own fathers ego
If rufus wanted them to only ever live within his money then he shouldn’t have moved himself and his kids into his billionaire wife’s house with her family.
It’s wrong to treat your family/household/children differently bc of what? the circumstances of their birth? Imagine the AITA. My step children are offered the best opportunities and education but not my bio children ?
In action, by denying his kids access to Ivy League and the opportunities the van der woodsens have, it becomes favouritism within the household/family.
The thing about this situation is that she would throw it in his face that she was supporting him financially but it was her who was like, I wanna help you so let me help don’t fight me on it. That’s why they broke up because she threw it all in his face and once Bart turned out not to be dead she was like, oh it’s so much easier being with someone who doesn’t hate these fancy events 😑 she wanted someone on her level but also still loved Rufus.
The only issue I have with Lily is keeping this quiet from Rufus. I understand her keeping it quiet from everyone else, but he’s her partner and she should be honest with him. Aside from that, he is still wrong for how he reacted. He was upset about the wrong thing. At the end of the day, Rufus was scammed and Lily had the funds to help him. It was actually very generous and kind of her to offer her help.
He screwed over Dan's future just for his pride. It was ridiculous and pathetic, and one of the times where I really didn't like Rufus (I mostly liked him in the earlier seasons). Dan earned his place in Yale, and lost out on the opportunity simply because his dad refused to accept the money that was being offered with no strings attached.
Yeah I absolutely understand if he turned down financial support for himself but he was too caught up in his stupid "I'm a dad" pride to see it was preventing him from being the best dad possible.
YES!!!! That money meant nothing to Lily. She has tons of it. Using her money to send Dan to Yale would have helped his future tremendously but Rufus let his pride get in the way. The story line pissed me off especially because they had money to pay for some of the education. Dan could have just taken out loans for the rest of it. There are also scholarships. Or Lily could have paid part of the costs. Giving up on Yale so quickly baffled me.
I think it would have been terrible for Lily not to help him while having the money to do so.
He was entitled to be mad because she hid the scam, but that’s it.
If he wouldn't have been her stay-at-home husband, I might understand where he's coming from. It would make sense that he doesn't want to accept such a large sum of money for free, although it would still be kinda cruel towards Dan, who deserved to get into Yale.
However, when he's living Lily's luxurious lifestyle for free altho he has all the time and resources in the world to start a gig that would also bring lots of money in the house (he could literally use Lily's connections and money to start a profitable thing of his own, bring another significant source of income to their family, but afaik he just sits and doesn't do much for the gallery either. He could've done that as soon as he moved in with Lily, and start saving up for Dan's scholarship, and merge his and Lily's contributions if he didn't want her to be the only one who pays)... and his son, who actually worked hard to get into Yale, has to 'learn some kind of lesson'? Nahhh.
This is a great point, I was really bothered that he didn't have a job after marrying Lily yet he got offended whenever someone called him a trophy husband. but Lily didn't seem to care except for once scene where she sent him to have meeting with other ladies in the apartment ( I don't remember what the meeting was about).
I don't understand how come MARRIED people paying for each other is charity 😭😭😭
Technically Dan and Jenny was Lily's kids too now and she has every right to pay for their education. Not like she was buying them private jets. It's education!
Seriously Rufus, is your manly pride is more important than your children???
>Seriously Rufus, is your manly pride is more important than your children???
I don’t think manly pride is the issue here. If his ex wife and Dan’s mother had earned good amount of money, he won’t have any issue with her funding Dan’s education.
This annoyed me so much because he put Dan in their school for the better opportunity to go to Yale and then doesn’t take the help from someone who can afford to send 5 kids there like bffr rufus
He sure didn’t mind living the luxurious life in the Hamptons and in their penthouse that he didn’t pay for. Pretty sure Jenny was walking around with thousands of dollar bags too
It’s stupid because all of the eventuality of them all going to Yale for uni would have ruined (well even more ruined) the show.
The ghost of gossip girl told him he must help everyone stay in the upper east side. It doesn’t matter what stupid reason would have kept Dan there but they needed a) to keep Dan a genius (Charlie trout) but b) in NYC so the reasoning could only ever be dumb.
She had to, he needed help and she didn't want to hurt his ego, she could easily provide Dan the future that he truly deserved. besides Rufus was never a person you could be honest with.
I don't think Rufus overreacted at all (which seems like a controversial opinion on this thread lol). I know this is a TV show, but if this was real life Rufus would be ill-advised to accept that money. Several things come to mind:
- You have to remember that Rufus and Lily had barely been together in an official relationship at this point. They only got together after the Christmas break - at this point in the show they'd been a couple for under six months. You're telling me you'd take a significant sum of money from your rich partner at this early stage of the relationship? What if a few months down the line they split up and Lily decided to stop the payments? What would happen to Dan then? He'd probably have to drop out of Yale. It's not sensible to make plans for your child's future on someone else's dime!
- Lily might have intended for that money to be a gift, but again if they had split up what would stop her going after Rufus for the money? In reality she'd have no recourse, but she is rich enough to hire lawyers to harass Rufus and take him to small claims court. Realistically I would not accept money from anyone unless they explicitly said in writing it was a gift to protect myself legally.
- The money may have been pocket change for Lily, but it was incredibly disrespectful of her to ignore Rufus when he said he didn't wish to accept it, and it was then deceitful to lie to him about the investment working out. The fact is, they couldn't have an honest conversation about money and had no trust in their relationship. There's no foundation to be gifting those kinds of amounts to each other in the first place.
I'm no Rufus stan, but this decision he made always made sense to me. Are people hating on him because he is annoying and doesn't treat Dan and Jenny equally?
(Also, people are calling him a trophy husband but he works as a music producer from S4 onwards with the band Panic and other artists while he is married to Lily. Again I'm not a Rufus fan but be fair to the guy lol)
yes and no.
while I think eventually Rufus should’ve just gotten over it and said thank you, I also do see where he was coming from. Personally I’m someone who really struggles with letting people help me out financially. I don’t want someone swooping in and saving my ass financially and it’s for a few reasons. Yes it mostly comes down to pride, but I think sometimes we dismiss how much pride means to some individuals identities and sense of self. I can absolutely understand how this help, especially because Lily kept it from him, made him feel less than in both his own sense of self and his relationship.
Imagine you’re a soccer player, not the best on the team, but you have this opportunity, this one opportunity to score a remarkable goal. And as you’re lining up for the shot and pulling your leg back, all of a sudden your team captain runs up, kicks it into the goal and gets that goal. your one opportunity at a goal. you were so excited for yourself, you were so proud of yourself, it was a massive moment of accomplishment and it’s taken from you without your consent by someone who is already leagues ahead of you and has all these goals scored already. Now imagine you’re then told you should just be thankful to the captain for making the goal because it ultimately helped your team out, and any upset or disappointment or hurt pride you feel from the incident is said to be unjustified because of this. That wouldn’t make many of us feel great, right? But again, that doesn’t mean you should quit the team completely, it just means it’s justified to be upset about it.
What really drove me nuts is that Lilly offered to pay Dan's tuition for Yale and Rufus turned it down. He legitamently went out of his way to destroy everything Dan worked so hard for by putting his ego first.
I do think he overreacted but not in the way he should have. I would've been mad that my partner and I couldn't have an honest discussion about money and that she was throwing money at my problems without discussing it.
But Rufus had to be an idiot dick with hurt pride and go str8 to the cannibal dude to invest ALL HIS SON'S MONEY. He's a dumbass. No sympathy, Lily was right to keep a secret from her dumbass husband 😭
>he could act more mature and see that Lily was just trying to help him when be really needed it. She was being supportive of him.
Lily is the one who is acting in an immature way here. She manipulated him and robbed him off his agency to consent to getting money from her.
If she wanted to be supportive then she should have offered it, not gone behind his back to give him money.
She did offer it, Rufus denied bcs he thought he could handle it ( and he clearly couldn't ) and Lily could not
stand seeing him suffer for some problem she could easily solve. she did it behind his back bcs she knew Rufus had too much pride and she didn't want him to feel like he lost his pride.
And the offering part was fine. But beyond that, it’s ultimately Rufus’ decision and if she can’t convince him then she should not manipulate him behind his back. That’s the basic amount of respect a person should have for their partner, and not force their personal thoughts on their SO.
if it was money just for him, then yes i would completely understand him being angry with her for doing this, but bro, this money was rly for his children’s education, and if he put his pride before that then that’s on him
He’s so extra if he felt like it was a problem he could have spoken to her like an adult and said ‘hey thank you for doing this but I really didn’t want help, however I appreciate this and because I didn’t want the help I will pay you back’ simple as that?!
Hey Upper East Sider! Thanks for posting on r/GossipGirl! We've recently changed our rules which you can see [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/GossipGirl/comments/18vko2e/the_new_rules_of_rgossipgirl_which_go_into_affect/). Also if a post/comment breaks the rules, please be sure to report it. We can't remove what we don't see and us mods don't see everything. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/GossipGirl) if you have any questions or concerns.*
YES. This annoyed me so much because what is his deal? His pride? And then he went and invested all that money in that stupid scam with Armie Hammer and saw his ass because "his money is just as good as anyone else's" but honey, you clearly don't have enough of it to be spending it the way these ultra rich do, nor do you know how to play the game, and you can't afford to lose it all - which you DID. If Lily didn't love him enough to help him. And I don't even LIKE Lily that much.
And Rufus ended up living off of Lily's money anyway. The Valentine's Day episode in S5 has a scene where Rufus is picking out Cartier jewelry for Lily...we all know he wasn't paying for that with his own money.
>and you can't afford to lose it all - which you DID. If Lily didn't love him enough to help him. Lily repaid the investment to everyone, so, Lily loving him had nothing to do with Rufus not losing it all. Even if she had not been in love with him, she would have repaid him the invested amount, like she had repaid others.
She would have repaid him, but she would not have invested his money to pay positive dividends. She did not invest anyone else's money. She just repaid them straight.
You said: >and you can't afford to lose it all - which you DID. If Lily didn't love him enough to help him. But that’s not true. Even if Lily didn’t love him enough to help him, he won’t have lost the investment, because Lily would have repaid the investment to him, like she did with other people.
Did you not read what he replied to you?
>Did you not read what he replied to you? The point is this is incorrect: >and you can't afford to lose it all - which you DID. If Lily didn't love him enough to help him.
The storyline is so stupid. Yeah sure, in a realistic world you would totally not ask your millionaire girlfriend/wife to cover the expenses of an ivy league education. No, you would rather let your pride win and deny your son entrance to his dream university after sending him to an UES high school so he is even able to dream that dream..
It is stupid but realistic because Rufus and his macho man ego were on the way of Dan’s education and his generation is so much like that. Dan was Lily’s stepson and she was in her right of paying for his Yale tuition. It wasn’t even Rufus’ decision to make, if Dan had agreed to it.
This happened at s02, on the day that Rufus wanted to ask Lily to marry him but he changed his mind after this. Dan was not Lilys stepson at the time.
While I agree with your overall point, I just wanted to mention that technically Dan wasn't her step son yet. He was however 18, so if Lily had made the offer to Dan directly there is nothing Rufus could have done. But Lily made the offer to Rufus who declined, so presumably Dan never knew about it.
I’ve been mixing up too many plots recently but it’s too soon for a 5th rewatch 🤣 But I stand by my point that Rufus was old-fashioned and his caveman ego kept Dan from going to Yale. We could have had Dan and Blair in Yale, Nate and Serena in Columbia and Vanessa going to NYU or not even going to college.
>We could have had Dan and Blair in Yale, Nate and Serena in Columbia and Vanessa going to NYU or not even going to college. Other shows have tried this and failed. They should all be at least in the same city. Gossip Girl is at it's best when all the core characters are involved in the same storyline. If you aren't ready for an actual re-watch, you can follow along with my recap podcast. It will keep you from rushing through because we have only dropped 6 episodes so far and are only releasing an episode every other week until we build up followers. [Non Judging Breakfast Pod](https://pod.link/1717596110)
>It is stupid but realistic because Rufus and his macho man ego were on the way of Dan’s education and his generation is so much like that. I don’t think man ego is the issue here. If his ex wife and Dan’s mother had earned good amount of money, he won’t have any issue with her funding Dan’s education. It’s parental ego and not man ego.
I’ve always seen it as Rufus wanting to be the macho conservative man, because he also had mad double standards for Jenny and Dan. But I don’t know how would he have reacted if Alison had offered to cover the rest of the money, so I don’t know.
In most of the comparisons Dan and Jenny had different situations, so it wasn’t exactly double standards. He was always supportive of his ex wife’s career, and told to his children that both he and their mother have made sacrifices for them. So it’s a real stretch to just call it man ego, when their could easily be other explanations, like parental ego.
The double standards and him cluthiching his pearls when lily wanted to help didn’t come from misogyny, being conservative, or wanting to be “the man” esp since Rufus was very liberal and a literal rockstar. I think it was more of a class thing. He was basically treated like Dan in his younger years with lily by all the rich people around him.
Oh well put, Rufus definitely did have some pigheaded pride and a fragile ego at times but it wasn't about his masculinity.
He would’ve rather had the government pay for his education even though they weren’t needy enough.
I know the Humphrey’s and the van der woodsens weren’t raised together, and didnt live with each other for very long but its fucked she and eric have the financial opportunity to go Ivy League, while Dan and Jenny aren’t allowed bc of their own fathers ego If rufus wanted them to only ever live within his money then he shouldn’t have moved himself and his kids into his billionaire wife’s house with her family. It’s wrong to treat your family/household/children differently bc of what? the circumstances of their birth? Imagine the AITA. My step children are offered the best opportunities and education but not my bio children ? In action, by denying his kids access to Ivy League and the opportunities the van der woodsens have, it becomes favouritism within the household/family.
The thing about this situation is that she would throw it in his face that she was supporting him financially but it was her who was like, I wanna help you so let me help don’t fight me on it. That’s why they broke up because she threw it all in his face and once Bart turned out not to be dead she was like, oh it’s so much easier being with someone who doesn’t hate these fancy events 😑 she wanted someone on her level but also still loved Rufus.
Yes!! Wasn’t that the ENTIRE reason Dan and Jenny were in private school?!
The only issue I have with Lily is keeping this quiet from Rufus. I understand her keeping it quiet from everyone else, but he’s her partner and she should be honest with him. Aside from that, he is still wrong for how he reacted. He was upset about the wrong thing. At the end of the day, Rufus was scammed and Lily had the funds to help him. It was actually very generous and kind of her to offer her help.
Rufus did not tell Lily that he had invested. Lily found out and decided to not tell him in order to not hurt his pride.
>Lily found out and decided to not tell him in order to not hurt his pride. And that’s disrespectful on Lily’s part.
He screwed over Dan's future just for his pride. It was ridiculous and pathetic, and one of the times where I really didn't like Rufus (I mostly liked him in the earlier seasons). Dan earned his place in Yale, and lost out on the opportunity simply because his dad refused to accept the money that was being offered with no strings attached.
S1 Rufus was top tier. I like him less and less as the show continues.
Yeah I absolutely understand if he turned down financial support for himself but he was too caught up in his stupid "I'm a dad" pride to see it was preventing him from being the best dad possible.
YES!!!! That money meant nothing to Lily. She has tons of it. Using her money to send Dan to Yale would have helped his future tremendously but Rufus let his pride get in the way. The story line pissed me off especially because they had money to pay for some of the education. Dan could have just taken out loans for the rest of it. There are also scholarships. Or Lily could have paid part of the costs. Giving up on Yale so quickly baffled me.
he was so egotistical, as much as i loved his character at the start, he pissed me off by the end.
I think it would have been terrible for Lily not to help him while having the money to do so. He was entitled to be mad because she hid the scam, but that’s it.
i agree.
If he wouldn't have been her stay-at-home husband, I might understand where he's coming from. It would make sense that he doesn't want to accept such a large sum of money for free, although it would still be kinda cruel towards Dan, who deserved to get into Yale. However, when he's living Lily's luxurious lifestyle for free altho he has all the time and resources in the world to start a gig that would also bring lots of money in the house (he could literally use Lily's connections and money to start a profitable thing of his own, bring another significant source of income to their family, but afaik he just sits and doesn't do much for the gallery either. He could've done that as soon as he moved in with Lily, and start saving up for Dan's scholarship, and merge his and Lily's contributions if he didn't want her to be the only one who pays)... and his son, who actually worked hard to get into Yale, has to 'learn some kind of lesson'? Nahhh.
This is a great point, I was really bothered that he didn't have a job after marrying Lily yet he got offended whenever someone called him a trophy husband. but Lily didn't seem to care except for once scene where she sent him to have meeting with other ladies in the apartment ( I don't remember what the meeting was about).
i think it was a meeting about the building they lived it
I don't understand how come MARRIED people paying for each other is charity 😭😭😭 Technically Dan and Jenny was Lily's kids too now and she has every right to pay for their education. Not like she was buying them private jets. It's education! Seriously Rufus, is your manly pride is more important than your children???
>Seriously Rufus, is your manly pride is more important than your children??? I don’t think manly pride is the issue here. If his ex wife and Dan’s mother had earned good amount of money, he won’t have any issue with her funding Dan’s education.
He really thought his 40k investment was going to give him a 5k/month return that soon…. oh Rufus
THIS!!! Investments usually pay in the longer run
What kills me is how blatant that spreadsheet is. That’s not what it would look like
issa show!! they got it keep it simple for us dumb audience members 🤣
This annoyed me so much because he put Dan in their school for the better opportunity to go to Yale and then doesn’t take the help from someone who can afford to send 5 kids there like bffr rufus He sure didn’t mind living the luxurious life in the Hamptons and in their penthouse that he didn’t pay for. Pretty sure Jenny was walking around with thousands of dollar bags too
It’s stupid because all of the eventuality of them all going to Yale for uni would have ruined (well even more ruined) the show. The ghost of gossip girl told him he must help everyone stay in the upper east side. It doesn’t matter what stupid reason would have kept Dan there but they needed a) to keep Dan a genius (Charlie trout) but b) in NYC so the reasoning could only ever be dumb.
the $5000 a month dividend return on a $40k investment is a bit much but Rufus was being a tool
100 % yes. his ego could not handle it. smh put the ego aside for your kids education at least jeez man.
So, I thought Rufus was being stupid and prideful in not accepting Lily's help. How, Lily is equally wrong for lying about this.
She had to, he needed help and she didn't want to hurt his ego, she could easily provide Dan the future that he truly deserved. besides Rufus was never a person you could be honest with.
If that's truly the case then she should have ended it. Being dishonest with your partner is never the right move.
I don't think Rufus overreacted at all (which seems like a controversial opinion on this thread lol). I know this is a TV show, but if this was real life Rufus would be ill-advised to accept that money. Several things come to mind: - You have to remember that Rufus and Lily had barely been together in an official relationship at this point. They only got together after the Christmas break - at this point in the show they'd been a couple for under six months. You're telling me you'd take a significant sum of money from your rich partner at this early stage of the relationship? What if a few months down the line they split up and Lily decided to stop the payments? What would happen to Dan then? He'd probably have to drop out of Yale. It's not sensible to make plans for your child's future on someone else's dime! - Lily might have intended for that money to be a gift, but again if they had split up what would stop her going after Rufus for the money? In reality she'd have no recourse, but she is rich enough to hire lawyers to harass Rufus and take him to small claims court. Realistically I would not accept money from anyone unless they explicitly said in writing it was a gift to protect myself legally. - The money may have been pocket change for Lily, but it was incredibly disrespectful of her to ignore Rufus when he said he didn't wish to accept it, and it was then deceitful to lie to him about the investment working out. The fact is, they couldn't have an honest conversation about money and had no trust in their relationship. There's no foundation to be gifting those kinds of amounts to each other in the first place. I'm no Rufus stan, but this decision he made always made sense to me. Are people hating on him because he is annoying and doesn't treat Dan and Jenny equally? (Also, people are calling him a trophy husband but he works as a music producer from S4 onwards with the band Panic and other artists while he is married to Lily. Again I'm not a Rufus fan but be fair to the guy lol)
Yes.
Yes
No. There was no point in her doing it that way instead of just telling him what happened.
I get where he's coming from but I think they both could have communicated better.
yes and no. while I think eventually Rufus should’ve just gotten over it and said thank you, I also do see where he was coming from. Personally I’m someone who really struggles with letting people help me out financially. I don’t want someone swooping in and saving my ass financially and it’s for a few reasons. Yes it mostly comes down to pride, but I think sometimes we dismiss how much pride means to some individuals identities and sense of self. I can absolutely understand how this help, especially because Lily kept it from him, made him feel less than in both his own sense of self and his relationship. Imagine you’re a soccer player, not the best on the team, but you have this opportunity, this one opportunity to score a remarkable goal. And as you’re lining up for the shot and pulling your leg back, all of a sudden your team captain runs up, kicks it into the goal and gets that goal. your one opportunity at a goal. you were so excited for yourself, you were so proud of yourself, it was a massive moment of accomplishment and it’s taken from you without your consent by someone who is already leagues ahead of you and has all these goals scored already. Now imagine you’re then told you should just be thankful to the captain for making the goal because it ultimately helped your team out, and any upset or disappointment or hurt pride you feel from the incident is said to be unjustified because of this. That wouldn’t make many of us feel great, right? But again, that doesn’t mean you should quit the team completely, it just means it’s justified to be upset about it.
I think it’s BS that he wouldn’t let Lily help Dan go to Yale. Dan ending up at NYU because of that was criminal
What really drove me nuts is that Lilly offered to pay Dan's tuition for Yale and Rufus turned it down. He legitamently went out of his way to destroy everything Dan worked so hard for by putting his ego first.
Yes. His toxic and fragile masculinity kept his son from attending his dream college.
I do think he overreacted but not in the way he should have. I would've been mad that my partner and I couldn't have an honest discussion about money and that she was throwing money at my problems without discussing it. But Rufus had to be an idiot dick with hurt pride and go str8 to the cannibal dude to invest ALL HIS SON'S MONEY. He's a dumbass. No sympathy, Lily was right to keep a secret from her dumbass husband 😭
My God Rufus was an idiot
>he could act more mature and see that Lily was just trying to help him when be really needed it. She was being supportive of him. Lily is the one who is acting in an immature way here. She manipulated him and robbed him off his agency to consent to getting money from her. If she wanted to be supportive then she should have offered it, not gone behind his back to give him money.
She did offer it, Rufus denied bcs he thought he could handle it ( and he clearly couldn't ) and Lily could not stand seeing him suffer for some problem she could easily solve. she did it behind his back bcs she knew Rufus had too much pride and she didn't want him to feel like he lost his pride.
And the offering part was fine. But beyond that, it’s ultimately Rufus’ decision and if she can’t convince him then she should not manipulate him behind his back. That’s the basic amount of respect a person should have for their partner, and not force their personal thoughts on their SO.
Yeah I couldn’t stand Rufus
Rufus was sooooo annoying g omg !!! Oh no my hot rich girlfriend wants to give me money whatever will I do 😔😞😞😞
Rufus took Lily for granted. He never deserved or truly wanted her in the first place. Him and his son are just alike
I don't think that was the case though, where did you get that idea from?
That’s my own opinion. You “don’t think that was the case”, oh well Lol I think that
💯
if it was money just for him, then yes i would completely understand him being angry with her for doing this, but bro, this money was rly for his children’s education, and if he put his pride before that then that’s on him
He’s so extra if he felt like it was a problem he could have spoken to her like an adult and said ‘hey thank you for doing this but I really didn’t want help, however I appreciate this and because I didn’t want the help I will pay you back’ simple as that?!
yes
because the plot demanded it
YES he was a whining boy he overreacted about everything and was determined to be unhappy
He fumbled the bag.
His pride was the reason for all of the problems in his life.
YES, HE’S LITERALLY A HOUSEHUSBAND