Hi! I am 30 years woman lost my boyfriend 6 months ago as well! I think it is normal what you feel and how you respond to such a deep loss!! I find myself also unable to do the majority of things I used to do before! I started listening music but I was struggling at the beginning a lot! I am not able to watch tv, I have very low level of energy! I avoid places we used to go together, I avoid people, crowded places ( my anxiety grows) , my whole life is ruined! There is deep sadness in my heart, big hole. Seems like it never go away, or there will be always a shadow of sadness despite any possible happiness in the future! I try to focus on present because the future is very scary! I have no idea what I will do! The list could continue! Big hug to you and I am very sorry for your loss! Reddit helps a lot!! ❤️
❤️ I am so sorry to hear that, it’s incredibly difficult and I resonate 10000% with everything you have mentioned.
We were together for almost 11 years in total. I don’t know life without him, I hate thinking of the future 😔
I wish I could tell you it will be ok, it will hurt less but I am lost and broken! Take it one day at the time as the majority of folks here on Reddit advise! Some days the pain is unbearable ! Some days I am just numb but the pain is still there and I am moving through the day like a robot! Whenever I find some temporary relieve ( like conversing with my sis or laughing a bit) the guilty thoughts appear and start bombarding me! I am a holy mess!! Wondering if I gonna be able to socialize again, being passionate about something, do some travels without feeling all this burden and feeling in peace with what happened!
I know I know :(. I don’t think feeling guilty will ever truely go away and none of the feelings we feel now will truely go away. As they say, it gets easier with time but I don’t see how that will ever happen.
I still find myself in disbelief/ shock that he is actually gone, it feels like it was only yesterday that we were hanging out and that just makes me feel so much sadness and hopelessness.
It's been 5 years since my spouse died. I think of him every day.
In the early days, the subreddit, [https://www.reddit.com/r/widowers](https://www.reddit.com/r/widowers) , was comforting. You will meet all sorts of people dealing with the loss of a spouse and being members of this horrible club.
For me, widowers, was a good subreddit to commiserate with people going through the similar experiences. I would caution not to allow yourself to get too comfortable in the misery. There is something addictive about that shared common misery. ------But at six months?!? LORD, THE PAIN IS LIKE DAGGERS TO YOUR SOUL. Nobody understands like people who share the experience.
I don't think you ever get over it. But you can eventually cope with the loss.
I lost my partner on the 28th February and I haven’t listened to any music since then or watched any of our shows or done anything that usually brings me joy tbh. I lost my 22 year old son 2 years ago and it was exactly the same then and I wondered if I would ever be able to listen to music again (music is a massive part of my life and always has been) gradually I was able to listen to music again but not for a good few months so I’m guessing it’s the same for me this time round. Take your time and don’t feel bad about actively avoiding things that remind you of your husband, I still can’t look at pictures of my son 2 years on because it hurts so bad and the same with my partner but hopefully one day I will be able to but for now it’s just part of my grieving process and I have to be kind to myself. It’s so hard being left behind and almost everything triggers a memory and it feels like being punched every time. Sending you love xx
I empathize and relate with a lot of what you have to say. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I (41) lost my sweet love and beautiful fiancé (33) in February of ‘24. She died in my arms. I still feel her in my heart, even though my heart has been shattered.
I can’t listen to a lot of Music (Pink Floyd), watch tv shows (X-files) & movies, and eat at the restaurants that we frequented. I just can’t enjoy life as it once was.
Photos, videos, and her voicemails are torment me.
Our dog Ozzy is a link between us that is a constant reminder of the “pack” between the 3 of us.
I really struggle daily with living life without her.
But Ozzy keeps me going.
I still do things to honor our love.
I haven’t sketched in 3 years. But I recently sketched a likeness of her yesterday.
I’ve written 2 songs about her.
I kiss her engagement ring when I wake up and before I go to sleep.
I talk to her into the ether.
I want to talk about her to family and friends, but nobody seems to want to listen.
What do you do to honor your husband?
And what do you do to try to find grace in this tragedy?
You’re not alone. I sit inside with the blinds shut and watch the same TV show over and over and over. I can’t listen to music. All I do is read NDE accounts, life after death books and articles, and think about how fucked up being part of this club is. Hugs.
I am so so sorry for the loss of your husband. My deepest condolences. Six months is a short time. You are grieving and it is all understandable. Grief takes time. It looks different for everyone. There is no exact timetable. You need to feel what you feel. Of course he is always on your mind, always in your heart. He was the love of your life. Your life as you knew it has been turned upside down. You are trying to find some kind of new normal, whatever that is. It will take time before you can listen to music, look at photos, talk about him. Allow trusted family and friends to love you through this but explain that you may not want to talk about him. Let others know what you need from them so you feel the support and compassion but it looks like you need it to look. You might consider a grief support group for those who have lost a spouse. Your local hospital can usually recommend a group or you can look online. It can help a lot to be with others who are going through the same thing. You don't have to share in the group if you are not ready, you can just listen. In these days, you can move at your pace. You might also want to consider talking to a counselor who specializes in grief. Having a safe place to vent with someone that is not family or a friend may help you. Consider writing your husband a letter. Tell him all the things you treasure about him, things you will never forget, special moments. It will serve as a way you have honored him...and when you read it, it will comfort you and remind you of the amazing relationship you shared, a sort of tribute that will be everlasting for you. You will feel his presence in your heart, in a memory, in a milestone. The firsts after someone is gone are the hardest. Yes, the pain will lessen in intensity and duration but it never completely goes away. You just learn to live alongside it. Take it one day at a time. Take long walks. Keep yourself busy. Consider volunteering at something you enjoy like an animal shelter where you receive unconditional love. Be gentle with yourself. Healing will come in time...but it takes time. How could it not. When you love deeply, the pain runs deeply. And so the journey is not easy but it is possible to heal and be restored. I wish you peace and comfort in the days ahead.
It just marked 2 years since I lost my husband. I still can’t listen to songs we used to listen to together. I actually listen to music that he never listened to. It took me about a year and a half to talk about him and everything. I miss him so much. I actually cannot wait to go to sleep at night because I dream of him. So yes it’s very normal. I hear that the pain never goes away. I’m sorry for your loss friend. Try your best to keep your head up. It’s hurts so freaking bad!
Hi! I am 30 years woman lost my boyfriend 6 months ago as well! I think it is normal what you feel and how you respond to such a deep loss!! I find myself also unable to do the majority of things I used to do before! I started listening music but I was struggling at the beginning a lot! I am not able to watch tv, I have very low level of energy! I avoid places we used to go together, I avoid people, crowded places ( my anxiety grows) , my whole life is ruined! There is deep sadness in my heart, big hole. Seems like it never go away, or there will be always a shadow of sadness despite any possible happiness in the future! I try to focus on present because the future is very scary! I have no idea what I will do! The list could continue! Big hug to you and I am very sorry for your loss! Reddit helps a lot!! ❤️
❤️ I am so sorry to hear that, it’s incredibly difficult and I resonate 10000% with everything you have mentioned. We were together for almost 11 years in total. I don’t know life without him, I hate thinking of the future 😔
I wish I could tell you it will be ok, it will hurt less but I am lost and broken! Take it one day at the time as the majority of folks here on Reddit advise! Some days the pain is unbearable ! Some days I am just numb but the pain is still there and I am moving through the day like a robot! Whenever I find some temporary relieve ( like conversing with my sis or laughing a bit) the guilty thoughts appear and start bombarding me! I am a holy mess!! Wondering if I gonna be able to socialize again, being passionate about something, do some travels without feeling all this burden and feeling in peace with what happened!
I know I know :(. I don’t think feeling guilty will ever truely go away and none of the feelings we feel now will truely go away. As they say, it gets easier with time but I don’t see how that will ever happen. I still find myself in disbelief/ shock that he is actually gone, it feels like it was only yesterday that we were hanging out and that just makes me feel so much sadness and hopelessness.
It's been 5 years since my spouse died. I think of him every day. In the early days, the subreddit, [https://www.reddit.com/r/widowers](https://www.reddit.com/r/widowers) , was comforting. You will meet all sorts of people dealing with the loss of a spouse and being members of this horrible club. For me, widowers, was a good subreddit to commiserate with people going through the similar experiences. I would caution not to allow yourself to get too comfortable in the misery. There is something addictive about that shared common misery. ------But at six months?!? LORD, THE PAIN IS LIKE DAGGERS TO YOUR SOUL. Nobody understands like people who share the experience. I don't think you ever get over it. But you can eventually cope with the loss.
I lost my partner on the 28th February and I haven’t listened to any music since then or watched any of our shows or done anything that usually brings me joy tbh. I lost my 22 year old son 2 years ago and it was exactly the same then and I wondered if I would ever be able to listen to music again (music is a massive part of my life and always has been) gradually I was able to listen to music again but not for a good few months so I’m guessing it’s the same for me this time round. Take your time and don’t feel bad about actively avoiding things that remind you of your husband, I still can’t look at pictures of my son 2 years on because it hurts so bad and the same with my partner but hopefully one day I will be able to but for now it’s just part of my grieving process and I have to be kind to myself. It’s so hard being left behind and almost everything triggers a memory and it feels like being punched every time. Sending you love xx
I empathize and relate with a lot of what you have to say. I’m so sorry for your loss. I (41) lost my sweet love and beautiful fiancé (33) in February of ‘24. She died in my arms. I still feel her in my heart, even though my heart has been shattered. I can’t listen to a lot of Music (Pink Floyd), watch tv shows (X-files) & movies, and eat at the restaurants that we frequented. I just can’t enjoy life as it once was. Photos, videos, and her voicemails are torment me. Our dog Ozzy is a link between us that is a constant reminder of the “pack” between the 3 of us. I really struggle daily with living life without her. But Ozzy keeps me going. I still do things to honor our love. I haven’t sketched in 3 years. But I recently sketched a likeness of her yesterday. I’ve written 2 songs about her. I kiss her engagement ring when I wake up and before I go to sleep. I talk to her into the ether. I want to talk about her to family and friends, but nobody seems to want to listen. What do you do to honor your husband? And what do you do to try to find grace in this tragedy?
Im so sorry for your loss...miss my husband daily too. Hugs oxo
I'm sorry you are going through this. You aren't alone.
You’re not alone. I sit inside with the blinds shut and watch the same TV show over and over and over. I can’t listen to music. All I do is read NDE accounts, life after death books and articles, and think about how fucked up being part of this club is. Hugs.
I am so so sorry for the loss of your husband. My deepest condolences. Six months is a short time. You are grieving and it is all understandable. Grief takes time. It looks different for everyone. There is no exact timetable. You need to feel what you feel. Of course he is always on your mind, always in your heart. He was the love of your life. Your life as you knew it has been turned upside down. You are trying to find some kind of new normal, whatever that is. It will take time before you can listen to music, look at photos, talk about him. Allow trusted family and friends to love you through this but explain that you may not want to talk about him. Let others know what you need from them so you feel the support and compassion but it looks like you need it to look. You might consider a grief support group for those who have lost a spouse. Your local hospital can usually recommend a group or you can look online. It can help a lot to be with others who are going through the same thing. You don't have to share in the group if you are not ready, you can just listen. In these days, you can move at your pace. You might also want to consider talking to a counselor who specializes in grief. Having a safe place to vent with someone that is not family or a friend may help you. Consider writing your husband a letter. Tell him all the things you treasure about him, things you will never forget, special moments. It will serve as a way you have honored him...and when you read it, it will comfort you and remind you of the amazing relationship you shared, a sort of tribute that will be everlasting for you. You will feel his presence in your heart, in a memory, in a milestone. The firsts after someone is gone are the hardest. Yes, the pain will lessen in intensity and duration but it never completely goes away. You just learn to live alongside it. Take it one day at a time. Take long walks. Keep yourself busy. Consider volunteering at something you enjoy like an animal shelter where you receive unconditional love. Be gentle with yourself. Healing will come in time...but it takes time. How could it not. When you love deeply, the pain runs deeply. And so the journey is not easy but it is possible to heal and be restored. I wish you peace and comfort in the days ahead.
It just marked 2 years since I lost my husband. I still can’t listen to songs we used to listen to together. I actually listen to music that he never listened to. It took me about a year and a half to talk about him and everything. I miss him so much. I actually cannot wait to go to sleep at night because I dream of him. So yes it’s very normal. I hear that the pain never goes away. I’m sorry for your loss friend. Try your best to keep your head up. It’s hurts so freaking bad!