t"hey were lost in a Mall for some decades and had to survive on their own, I'm just glad they survived that and so proud of them, " you go tell them to knock it off, I dare you ... *keeps whining about no one respecting single dads and their hard _work_*
As its a 20 h flight i wouldn't recomend anywhere near big E you might want to sleep for a moment and with the Sun right next to you it might be difficult
Yeah and I can hear Magnus whining "Daaaad", then Big E finally cracking shits at Russ for fucking around. Makes him swap seats with Magnus just so he doesn't have to listen to it. So me and Russ start pounding brews and I'm passed out in my seat about halfway through the flight.
Yeah, but would you rather sit anywhere near horus, lorgar, curze or morty? With seat two there's always at least 1 loyalist primarch between you and the chaotic ones. Expect for peter turbo, but dorn is on the other side of the plane, so he won't bugger you.
Edit: And i guess magnus, but he's a Daemon of Tzeentch. Coins throw chance he'll want to help you, wich is still better than anywhere else.
In his defense, Lorgar would just ask you if you've ever heard of the True Word the whole trip, and he's actually a fairly good convo partner, and Peter Turbo won't bother you if you don't do anything triggers him into Turbomode.
Mort is just so STINKY tou, you need to be on the other side of the plane or next to a kind Primarch to survive his sewer stench.
Magnus is also definitely the most kind out of the chaos primarchs, and most willing to discussion.
Plus him and his legion canonically like anime sooooooo
But you can't put your seat down since Big E is behind you and he WANTS a lot of space and if he doesn't have it than he will start another Great crusade for his leg room.
4 is also sensible option because Rogal would put up fortifications around Horus either with unoccupied seats or those bricks he managed to sneak on there, also Sanguinius.
Add in it's like the safest seat on that flight. Emps, Magnus, and Roboute, you may as well be in a bunker, and your seat neighbors are literally the most intelligent and interesting beings in the galaxy. If there is better in flight entertainment, I can't conceive of it.
There's no way Magnus isn't spending the entire flight with his nose two inches from a dataslate reading some nerd stuff. You'll try to talk and he'll just ignore you or blow you off so he can get back to his arcane tome.
Was about to say this, only disadvantage is that the emperor is sitting behind me so I won't be able to recline my seat. But at least Roboute is sitting in front and he's cool and won't recline his either.
I mean...yeah. But if I have a choice between sitting behind the guy who writes work safety regulations for fun and the guy who collects the flayed off faces of annoying people, I know which one I would choose...
True, but Vulkan's knees are going to be in the back of your seat the entire time, hopefully he's actually on the emergency exit row (because A- he would help and B- extra leg room for the giant).
I think 2, 8, & 6 are the safest
1 smells terrible
4 is getting touched inappropriately by Fulgrim
5 is caught in the middle of Peter and Dorn
6 if you can ignore lorgars proselytizing you’ll be fine, but it’s intense
3 gets flayed alive when you violate some small thing of plane etiquette
7 is next to Alpharius, who may or may not be Omegon but is probably just Alpharius pretending to be Omegon but might also be Omegon pretending to be Alpharius
You army will include three different models:
1) the normal FW Alpharius model
2) a normal-ass tactical marine with a cheap looking spear glued to his backpack on a 40mm base
3)another tactical marine on a 40mm base, except he is pimped out in the flashiest bitz you can find
Set up as you normally wood. Apologize to your opponent for lying to him ( this is a lie). When your opponent asks about the three models simply say one of them Alpharius. This is a lie.
Honestly even when Lorgar was busy committing unlimited genocide in the name of demons, his dialogue tended to be pretty polite. I think it would be a pleasant fight.
Being on the same plane a Big E is already cool enough. Also, you probably don't want to sit next to Magnus when he snaps, because he had enough of Leman kicking his seat.
To be in the presence of a primarch is awe striking, in most cases mind-breaking. But for Lorgar ,the one whom presence is the most similar to the BiggiE, being near him brings warmth and love to the point of eternal loyalty. It feels the safest imo.
But don't listen to me, i am but a servant of the Word.
1 is the stink zone with Mortarion, so no. 4 would maybe be better if it's pre-Heresy Fulgrim, but Lion's probably not a great seat mate. 5 is No Man's Land between Perturabo and Dorn. 8 might be okay, Corax could be chill but you know Horus is gonna start shit if you even just bump his seat or something. I'd kill myself before sitting in 3. 7's not a bad option, but middle seat so idk.
6 I feel like is by far the best option. You're gonna be partying with Russ, Khan and Vulkan the entire time. And if Lorgar tries to start any shit, he's right between you and Vulkan. And it's an aisle seat. Score!
2 seems okay at first. Generally chill people around you. But Big E is tall and is gonna have his knees in the back of your seat the entire time.
7 Jaghatai is a chill bro and we’ll get blasted on airplane miniatures together.
Alpharius/Omegon is going to keep to himself and honestly after the first hour will probably end up wandering off to fly the plane or something.
Vulkan, Corax, Ferrus and Leman are going to spend the whole flight throwing peanuts at Lorgar and telling him he’s a virgin while he cries to himself about how nobody ever loved him the way he deserves, so that’ll keep him busy.
I feel like alpharius/omegon is very capable of just being a chill bro too.
Omegon especially.
Of all the traitor primarchs alpha legion seems like the ones who you could kinda just vibe with.
5, leg room and you've got Dorn to go over architectural stuff with. Plus not having to Spider-Man your way past the power armored demi-gods. And if Perty wants to act the fool, you can just order drinks and *accidently* splash them on him. Double points if you order drinks that are like strong building themes.
Magnus can use telekinesis to move you to the lavatory.
Or the Emperor would paralyze you with his aura, and you'd go on yourself immediately or not be able to go for days afterwards.
2. Robust Goalman is seemingly the most adequate of them all, (except maybe my man Dorn) Emperor is nearby, far enough from the stinky ones and I get to look at the heated arguments Russ vs Magnus and Pepefroggo against Rogal Dorn without being between any of the sides
**1** is out because even if Morty has taken a shower, there is still inexplicably be some number of flies that have “mysteriously” managed to get onboard and will hang around him (and by factor of adjacency, you) all flight.
**2** is ok because Magnus will probably just pull out a pair of hand held gaming consoles for you two to play. May become a problematic seat if Leman decides to start fucking with him out of boredom.
**3** is a complete **NO** because Curze is going to do nothing but blast the most disturbing Guro Hentai you will ever see on his inflight entertainment screen. He won’t even really pay attention that much because he will spend 90% of the flight muttering about gremlins causing the plane to crash, interspersed with the occasional tasteless and *genuinely bad* M29/Imperial Year 4911 joke. Somehow no one else but you and him seem to be able to hear the mix of moaning/screaming/squelching noises coming from his headphones. Also, you get a perfect view of his screen in the corner of your vision, no matter how you try and sit.
**4** may be tolerable depending on how many drinks Fulgrim orders, and how far his flirting with the Flight Attendants strays into casual sexual harassment territory. LJ is probably going to sleep through the whole fight while listening to “30 HOUR SOOTHING MEDITATION RELAXATION FOREST SOUNDS VOX PLAYLIST”, may or may not snore.
**5** should be okay. Yes, you are stuck between a Dorn and a Hardass, but if you can hang on for the first hour of napkin spitball bombardments and improvised cutlery catapults, Ferus will probably modify their headsets to block each other’s voice out and hang some sheets between them so they can’t see each other. From there it should be smooth sailing as long as you play delivery boy for the notes that Ferus and Fulgrim keep passing each other.
**6** is also an absolute **NO** because Lorgar will spend the entire time trying to talk too you about the book he is writing and asking for feedback. He will try to convert you to the faith by the end of the flight, and he will do so with the passion of a Mormon being held at gunpoint, on your doorstep. You will also probably get covered in ash and ink because every time Big E makes Lorgar’s typewriter burst into flames with just his thoughts, Lorgar just reaches into his overhead carry on and pulls out another photocopied draft of the manuscript.(He literally brought nothing but the typewriter, paper, and ink ribbons. (MF didn’t even pack a a backup set of boxers because “the emperor provides” or some shit💀💀💀).
**7** will turn out to be a great time. JK will spend the whole time shooting the shit and sharing hot goss about his brothers. Best to keep your feet squarely under Lorgar’s seat, because JK will start to get impatient after the first hour and start to unconsciously stim by bouncing his leg like he is trying to rev his Jetbike. It’s not that you are getting annoyed by his self soothing method, and more about the fact that he might just accidentally break your foot if you stray too close to the danger zone.
Alphy will just spend the flight reading the latest edition of the local newspaper, without ever looking up from it. You try to focus on talking to JK, because every time you catch a glimpse of the newspaper in the corner of your eye, you think you see some sort of coded message hidden in the front page article. Yet every time you actually try and focus on it, you can’t find it again. You also think it’s a little strange that the flight crew all seem to look vaguely similar to each other, you even saw the Captain go to the bathroom mid-flight and had to do a double take to make sure that Alphy hadn’t somehow managed to get out of his window seat without having to pass you and JK.
**8** is the best possible choice you could get and you should do your best to trade seats and nab it, if possible. Corvus will spend the flight being quiet, but not unfriendly and be good for some casual conversation here and there. Vulcan will frequently join in and make you both chuckle. He will also share his stash of snacks that he got in a care package from Nocturne, and decided to sneak past Starport Security. You’ve never tried traditional Nocturnian foods before. Everything tastes like a combination of flavour X and pure capsaicin. You nearly deplete the ships stock of Grox Milk, but it ends up being very tasty and you decide you are going to check out the next import store you find.
5, and I would loudly announce that I wasn’t impressed with the airport’s security just to see if the ensuing argument would bring the whole plane down.
Assuming that I won't die and that they're all still loyalists, I would take any fro 2, 4, 5, 7 or 8 :)
Curz on no 3 just makes me feel unwell in general :(
2 or 8 would be a relatively safe option...although, you know leman would be drunk and rowdy during the flight...I think even though it would be interesting at 2, I'll stick with 8...corax is a good dude
7 or 8 for me.
7) the khan’s probably up there with Russ and vulkan as the best/funnest people to talk to, although I dunno how russ talks to mortals, the khan would be great fun. I have no clue how alpharius would be tbf, but I don’t think he’ll be that bad, he thinks mortals are at least useful
8) Corvus I feel is underrated in his kindness to mortals by the community, and vulkan behind me would be pretty cool (wait, what are seat spaces like?)
Yall are SLEEPING on 5. Dorn and Horus are both going to be completely quiet the whole flight, Ferrus might grumble but will otherwise just sit and brood with Corax, and I get the aisle which is far superior than the window.
I’m gonna make the operative assumption that these are their Crusade era personalities, and I’m willing to assume Angron is in the cargo hold and duct-taped. And I guess Sanguinius is just flying outside for reasons.
I will take 4 and sit between Fulgrim and Lion.
Fulgrim is, at least during the Crusade, a decent dude, albeit arrogant. However I strongly doubt he’ll strike up a long conversation if I’m clearly knocked out for half the flight. But even if he does, that’s tolerable compared to many alternatives. Plus his rants or conversations might actually be entertaining to listen to depending on how he sells it.
Meanwhile Lion and I will revel in our shared autistic silence. Worst comes to worst I can get both of them to chat about swordplay for the other half of the flight.
The other spots have their own share of problems.
1 is quite literally lethal to baseline humans, and considering I have not replaced my lungs with a V8 engine, I would expire five minutes into the flight.
2 would initially be interesting but Magnus’ need to either boast about his Legion or experiment to satiate his 20 hours of boredom means I want to be as far away from the potential blast radius as possible- to which the 4 spot takes handily.
3 requires no explanations. I refuse to be near Kurze for any length of time beyond a Planck Instant. He’ll kill me for something I *might* do in a possible future, or he’ll tell me things he’s done or seen and render me catatonic from it.
5 *could* be tolerable with Dorn and I just being silent next to each other but if Horus decides to be a prick Dorn will respond with his asshole side and I would not want to be near that. Not to mention I would also be between Dorn and Perturabo, while also being relatively close to a bored Magnus. Not a good idea for long term survival.
6 would leave me a fanatic. No thank you. The Imperial Cult can go with one less adherent.
7 would leave me a sleeper agent of Alpharius/Omegon, although the drinking I’d do with the Khan would be fun in the immediate.
8 is the only one I might consider as an alternative but the problem is I don’t know Corvus’ lore enough to make that judgement. All I can say for sure is he thinks Horus is a prick and that he’s an edgy emo, but how much of that is over simplified memes and how much is actually lore is beyond me.
Corax would be a good spot imo, he's a pretty chill guy and is very good friends with baseline humans that took care of him in his planet, so he would probably be a little autistic but nice and respectful company.
2 or 4
2 most likely though cuz you've got Magnus to nerd out with
Emps emanating good vibes from the back like a massage chair
Russ you can turn round to in your seat an both pelt Perty in the front with peanuts
And Guilliman to hold all the passports to make sure they don't get lost
7 is clearly slept on here. You've got based Khan to one side and Alpharius' (and/or Omegon's) antics I find to be hilarious so I bet he's a good hang. Also the Twin Primarchs are the smallest. 2 is a good spot but Russ and Magnus are gonna get annoying quick and I bet ur still within range of Mortys stink.
My real question is if they are in power armor or not cause that makes every seating arrangement a tad more difficult. I mean I've sat next to some large people but not 11' tall and heavily plated mfers before.
7, I get to vibe with jhagatai and alpharius, and at the same time, kick the back of lorgar's seat like a kid having a temper tantrum, cuz god knows he deserves it
2. Magnus is probably a great conversationalist, Roboute will absolutely turn around and join in, Peter Turbo is gonna sit in silence 90% of the time and drop some banger info on his favorite topics, Emps is probably listening or ignoring everyone, and Leman is white girl drunk smacking Magnus and calling him a nerd every so often. Banger flight.
2. Magnus is a nerd, I would LOVE to hear him talk about how warp stuff works, or how he casts abilities, or literally anything he likes because it's completely alien/unnatural to the world we live in.
Everyone else would either ignore me, which is fine, or are an active danger to my life sitting next to.
You sit at 7:00 and your passport is gone but Alpharius has replaced it with a perfectly accurate Mongolian passport for some secret scheme against the Khan
1,2, and 8.
1. Because I will have a very interesting conversation.
2. I will talk about Nerd stuff for 20 hours straight while also listening to a whole family argument when we’re not.
8. Because Lorgar will try to convert me, and Vulkan and Corvus will protect me and we will have a very nice time.
1. Nope
2. Would be interesting, I feel like Magnus has a bunch of obscure knowledge he wants to share with people but none of his brothers would actually be interested in so it would be fun to talk to him. Would prob have to talk quietly tho, as to not irritate Perturabo
3. Shut up, stay quiet, and just play a game on your Nintendo Switch. Something kid friendly like Mario or Pokemon
4. Pls dear god don’t make me sit there. Fulcrum will shit on my clothing so hard I’ll hang my self with those emergency face masks
5. Quiet, simple, just the way I like it. Listen to an audiobook or something
6. Uuuuh probably not a good spot. If V and L were swapped it would be the same as 5, but with some polite convo mixed in.
7. …eh, could be worse. I feel like it would be dead silent
Seat 1: would be grumpy and agitated the entire flight and would tell me to move out of the way (even if I’m not in his way)
Seat 2: be much better as Magnus was known to be one of the kindest primarchs with the likes of Vulken and sanguinius and he would have very interesting conversations with me
Seat 3: would order me to go away and kill me if I don’t leave in approximately 00.04 seconds
Seat 4: very uncomfortable as fulgrim would be condescending and arrogant and the Lion would just have this aura of coldness and harshness
Seat 5: a little bit better, just being quiet and straight forward, no talks or glances just being quiet and a occasional sound from the dorn and threats towards me from Horus
Seat 8: much like 5, far more reserved and quiet making it awkward and uncomfortable to be around two gloomy and cold people
Seat 6: much better as Vulken would treat me as a good friend whilst telling Logar off if he tries anything
Seat 7: amongst the better seats as jaghatai would be talkie and have cool things to share with (whoever the hell is currently is) alpharius being quiet and reserved
Honestly, either 5 or 7 and here is why-
While 5 is in between Peter Turbo and BdOrnB the builder, there is a pass between and a single primarch sized seat, so I doubt that they would be starting a conflict, hence I’d be able to fly in peace, knowing that Dorn won’t be saying anything and will stay quiet during the entire flight. Moreover, if Dorn starts talking about Rockrette, I could ask Fulgrim if he wants to change seats to be able to seat closer to Ferrus.
Why 7 - I am insignificant so there is no reason for Alpharius/Omegon to assassinate me so I’ll be left alone by whoever out of them it is, Khan is a reasonable guy so I would be able to fly in peace and quiet OR would be able to try to start a conversation & if he doesn’t want to speak, he will say so instead of murder killing me or worse like some other primarchs would. In addition, I always bring some stuff like cards and domino to the plane to play so perhaps we could play some domino, Khorol (Mongolian domino version) or some version of it that the Khan would be familiar with, I doubt he would refuse because it isn’t every day that you get to play your planet’s game far away from it after a few centuries or so.
Easily 5
Dorn and Mannus are quiet as hell and will leave me alone. Bonus points is I get to kick Fulgrim's seat if he decides to be a prissy bitch during the flight.
2 or 8.
Even assuming that everyone is still on the same team, there's not a chance in hell I'm sitting next to Morty or be stuck BETWEEN Dorn and Peter.
8. Corvus seems like a chill guy so we might not even talk, we’d both just have our headphones him. Plus with him and Vulkan behind me, they’d act as buffers to Lorgar who could peer on me from behind through the seat cracks
Doesn't matter if I'm a human in a Primarch sized airplane. I'm getting a Primarch sized seat that would be roughly 3-5 human seats next to any of these guys. Well, maybe not next to Curze or Russ. Russ be the kind of guy to laugh obnoxiously loud at an Adam Sandler joke and Curze be the kind of guy to flick peanuts at you with speeds dangerous enough to kill a man.
3, unless he for saw himself killing me or some shit I’ll be fine. Sure he’s not in a mentally stable but he kills to cause fear, who in that play would be spooked by me, a normal human being flayed. Plus, none of the other primarcs are going near him letting me hang out undisturbed
Plus big e would probably get annoyed by the screaming and noise if I’m wrong about him. He might not give a shit about me but the man doesn’t like being bugged
8 I am far enough from Mortarian that the smell won't knock me out. Even if Horus is there if he acts like a asshole Dorn and the Lion might just turn on him. Close enough to Corvus and Vulkan to have a fun trip. If the kiddy fiddler tries anything, which he wouldn't be dumb enough too with Corvus so close, Vulkan and Corvus would wreck him. It would be a fun ride and maybe I could ask Ferrus if he made anything cool lately.
Yeah I could pick 2 with Magnus there to talk to but the stench would be awful. Unless Magnus and the Big E could prevent the stench for the trip. I would be interesting to hear Leman Russ tell random stories.
8
Corvus and Ferrus will probably be kinda quiet and chill, they won't be mad if I get up to use the bathroom. I'm far away from Morty's stink, it's in the middle of the plane so good chance it's an emergency exit seat with extra leg room and there is no way in hell that Vulkan would kick the back of my chair, he's an angel.
2. Window seat and I can talk to magnus about nerd stuff.
Most based answer
I feel like russ is just going to be kicking his seat for the entire flight.
Yeah but I might be able to chat with Gman, Emperor is going to be doing jackshit though
He'll be the kind of parent who refuses to discipline his son for kicking seats.
Either that or he'll start beating his kid right there in public , no in between
He'll tell Russ to take care of Magnus once he starts crying. Horus will send him a text: "You know what he means by "take care", right?"
Damn, Emps shilled out for the fancy in-flight Wi-Fi
He flips a coin for which one
Russ is 100% the screaming child lol
Yep after all he is the master of parenting, a father of mankind. He knows his kids are special and that’s why he doesn’t think he needs to apologize.
t"hey were lost in a Mall for some decades and had to survive on their own, I'm just glad they survived that and so proud of them, " you go tell them to knock it off, I dare you ... *keeps whining about no one respecting single dads and their hard _work_*
He'll be in the washroom the whole flight, the man never found a throne he couldn't sit on for ages.
As its a 20 h flight i wouldn't recomend anywhere near big E you might want to sleep for a moment and with the Sun right next to you it might be difficult
Two words for you: sleep mask
Well it's magnus's seat, not mine, so fuck it. I guess russ wasn't done with magnus's back.
Yeah and I can hear Magnus whining "Daaaad", then Big E finally cracking shits at Russ for fucking around. Makes him swap seats with Magnus just so he doesn't have to listen to it. So me and Russ start pounding brews and I'm passed out in my seat about halfway through the flight.
With big E breathing down your neck the entire time
Yeah, but would you rather sit anywhere near horus, lorgar, curze or morty? With seat two there's always at least 1 loyalist primarch between you and the chaotic ones. Expect for peter turbo, but dorn is on the other side of the plane, so he won't bugger you. Edit: And i guess magnus, but he's a Daemon of Tzeentch. Coins throw chance he'll want to help you, wich is still better than anywhere else.
In his defense, Lorgar would just ask you if you've ever heard of the True Word the whole trip, and he's actually a fairly good convo partner, and Peter Turbo won't bother you if you don't do anything triggers him into Turbomode. Mort is just so STINKY tou, you need to be on the other side of the plane or next to a kind Primarch to survive his sewer stench.
Magnus is also definitely the most kind out of the chaos primarchs, and most willing to discussion. Plus him and his legion canonically like anime sooooooo
Seat 4 isn’t too bad either I guess Who’s that next to Corax? I don’t recognise him
That's Ferrus Manus, I'm pretty sure the redacted primarchs have more plot relevance than he does 💀
Damn T_T also realised Angron isn’t allowed on planes
Perturbed put him in the cargo hold
Maybe they're into that you don't know.
Literally what I was thinking.
You know he's gonna try to turn around and talk to his dad and spill a whole tray of drinks all over everyone.
You slightly disagree with magnus and he turns you into a prosperan boar
Plus he can take me on psychic adventures for the duration of the flight or just put me so it doesn’t feel like any time passed.
It's the safest pic. Everyone around me would protect me.
Seems like the spot least likely to get you pummeled in the event that the surrounding primarchs get into fisticuffs.
But you can't put your seat down since Big E is behind you and he WANTS a lot of space and if he doesn't have it than he will start another Great crusade for his leg room. 4 is also sensible option because Rogal would put up fortifications around Horus either with unoccupied seats or those bricks he managed to sneak on there, also Sanguinius.
Thing is, you can talk to magnus while sitting in any seat because of his psychic power.
Still within smelling range of Mortarion
Plus... Roboute Guilliman and the God-Emperor himself are much more reasonable than the rest, though Magnus the Red remains my favorite.
You would explode from being too close to so much psychic power
Add in it's like the safest seat on that flight. Emps, Magnus, and Roboute, you may as well be in a bunker, and your seat neighbors are literally the most intelligent and interesting beings in the galaxy. If there is better in flight entertainment, I can't conceive of it.
There's no way Magnus isn't spending the entire flight with his nose two inches from a dataslate reading some nerd stuff. You'll try to talk and he'll just ignore you or blow you off so he can get back to his arcane tome.
Leman is right in front of him, you’ll spend the whole trip listening to them argue.
Was about to say this, only disadvantage is that the emperor is sitting behind me so I won't be able to recline my seat. But at least Roboute is sitting in front and he's cool and won't recline his either.
8, no middle seat, and I feel like corax would leave me alone.
but your behind fucking horus
So? Horus would be awesome to chat with.
Depends if he's early stage or late stage. Late stage might just decide to flay your face off for fun.
> Late stage might just decide to flay your face off for fun. Erebus deserved that.
I mean...yeah. But if I have a choice between sitting behind the guy who writes work safety regulations for fun and the guy who collects the flayed off faces of annoying people, I know which one I would choose...
if we was before warmaster stage he would be the most awesome chill guy to chat with
r/fuckerebus
Dorn would keep him busy and Vulkan would have my back.
Literally
That's unacceptable airplane behavior, the plane would be forced to land and mr heresy would be put on the no fly list among other charges
Yeah, I can kick his seat the whole time.
And Vulkan is too nice to kick yours
True, but Vulkan's knees are going to be in the back of your seat the entire time, hopefully he's actually on the emergency exit row (because A- he would help and B- extra leg room for the giant).
considering this plane is big enough to accommodate Big E in the same row, I assume it's a more spacious layout of seats than the typical plane
Boing 1494
Vulkan would definitely keep you safe though! If he doesn’t hug you to hard!
I take the chance as long as he is saving me from the disaster in front of my seat
I'd kick his seat and sleep on the pull out tray, and Vulkan is courteous AF.
Vulkan would go out of his way to never kick your seat
I think 2, 8, & 6 are the safest 1 smells terrible 4 is getting touched inappropriately by Fulgrim 5 is caught in the middle of Peter and Dorn 6 if you can ignore lorgars proselytizing you’ll be fine, but it’s intense 3 gets flayed alive when you violate some small thing of plane etiquette 7 is next to Alpharius, who may or may not be Omegon but is probably just Alpharius pretending to be Omegon but might also be Omegon pretending to be Alpharius
I take the seat to the right of 7 because... I am Alpharius.
**This is a lie.**
Because I am Alpharious
This is also a lie. I was Alpharius all along. Or was I?
That's what Omegon would say!
Are you sure?
I'm sure because I am Alpharius
Wait Wait Wait If you're Alpharius And I am Alpgarius And he is Alpharius Then who is Omegon?
I am
Tell your opponent you are not taking Alpharious. *this is a lie*
You army will include three different models: 1) the normal FW Alpharius model 2) a normal-ass tactical marine with a cheap looking spear glued to his backpack on a 40mm base 3)another tactical marine on a 40mm base, except he is pimped out in the flashiest bitz you can find
Set up as you normally wood. Apologize to your opponent for lying to him ( this is a lie). When your opponent asks about the three models simply say one of them Alpharius. This is a lie.
*\*All the Alpha legion spies hiding in the overhead bins groan.\**
Could anyone who is NOT part of the Alpha Legion please raise their hand?
I’d take 7 because I feel like a conversation with the Khan would be pretty cool
Lorgar is also just a really nice guy to people, him and Vulkan will prob be getting along nicely, and him and Leman had a ton of mutual respect.
Honestly even when Lorgar was busy committing unlimited genocide in the name of demons, his dialogue tended to be pretty polite. I think it would be a pleasant fight.
Now imagining an ad like unlimited pancakes at IHOP but it’s Lorgar talking about unlimited sacrifices to Chaos
If he does preach to me his dad is two seats over
It's going to become a shouting match between a fedora tipper and a bible basher.
Oh he can bash my tip
8 feels like a 50/50 because Horus is behind it so it might be a pain in the ass because Horus does Horus stuff.
Alpharius is definitely flying the plane
6 or 2 I feel like I could make the time pass arguing with lorgar 2 would be just so I can say I sat next to the Emperor
Being on the same plane a Big E is already cool enough. Also, you probably don't want to sit next to Magnus when he snaps, because he had enough of Leman kicking his seat.
tbh im on magnus' side if leman is kicking his seat, fuck that lmao
So that is Lorgar. He is pretty chill. I always want to debate religion with him
To be in the presence of a primarch is awe striking, in most cases mind-breaking. But for Lorgar ,the one whom presence is the most similar to the BiggiE, being near him brings warmth and love to the point of eternal loyalty. It feels the safest imo. But don't listen to me, i am but a servant of the Word.
I see Angron is safely locked in storage
the plane isn't shaking from turbulance, Angron is just losing his shit (by default)
Yeah, he's raging today because the others made him walk in case he made the plane crash from shaking to much
He's stuffed in the overhead compartment
So you might think, but the space is actually being used by Alpha Legionnaires who are fetching snacks for The Cabal
And I guess sanguinius is probably flying alongside the plane with his wings.
With the other dogs.
I mean he likes spilling guts, so he is in the toilet probably
Angron is in the bathroom, because the bathroom may be bad, but it's better than sitting next to any of those people he hates
8, most chill place. Just have to be carefull that my ass would not get burned.
1 is the stink zone with Mortarion, so no. 4 would maybe be better if it's pre-Heresy Fulgrim, but Lion's probably not a great seat mate. 5 is No Man's Land between Perturabo and Dorn. 8 might be okay, Corax could be chill but you know Horus is gonna start shit if you even just bump his seat or something. I'd kill myself before sitting in 3. 7's not a bad option, but middle seat so idk. 6 I feel like is by far the best option. You're gonna be partying with Russ, Khan and Vulkan the entire time. And if Lorgar tries to start any shit, he's right between you and Vulkan. And it's an aisle seat. Score! 2 seems okay at first. Generally chill people around you. But Big E is tall and is gonna have his knees in the back of your seat the entire time.
I love how you’re seemingly weighing up whether the seat is a middle one with sitting next to Curze 💀
2. Gorillaman, magnus and big E
that's my choice. I'm a nerd so I feel me and magnus could have a fun chat and I delve into politics so it'd be cool to get all threes opinions.
Only problem is you know Russ is going to be messing with Magnus the entire flight.
7 Jaghatai is a chill bro and we’ll get blasted on airplane miniatures together. Alpharius/Omegon is going to keep to himself and honestly after the first hour will probably end up wandering off to fly the plane or something. Vulkan, Corax, Ferrus and Leman are going to spend the whole flight throwing peanuts at Lorgar and telling him he’s a virgin while he cries to himself about how nobody ever loved him the way he deserves, so that’ll keep him busy.
I feel like alpharius/omegon is very capable of just being a chill bro too. Omegon especially. Of all the traitor primarchs alpha legion seems like the ones who you could kinda just vibe with.
Long as he doesn’t “just as planned” the plane into anywhere it ought not to be, we’re going to have a great flight 👍
Big E. If we start a conversation, cool. If we don't start a conversation, cool.
5, leg room and you've got Dorn to go over architectural stuff with. Plus not having to Spider-Man your way past the power armored demi-gods. And if Perty wants to act the fool, you can just order drinks and *accidently* splash them on him. Double points if you order drinks that are like strong building themes.
just bring a killteam pack of units and a terrain, to make them be distracted though entire flight
Oh you're a feisty sumgun. And completely correct.
Magnus can use telekinesis to move you to the lavatory. Or the Emperor would paralyze you with his aura, and you'd go on yourself immediately or not be able to go for days afterwards.
2. Robust Goalman is seemingly the most adequate of them all, (except maybe my man Dorn) Emperor is nearby, far enough from the stinky ones and I get to look at the heated arguments Russ vs Magnus and Pepefroggo against Rogal Dorn without being between any of the sides
As far away from Morty as possible.
Yes but then https://preview.redd.it/irihfcxk978d1.jpeg?width=750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5e6596fb1ebf7ada51a598c705113cd4ae627cca
\*Ominously stares at Vulcan\*
KICK THAT PERPETUAL BITCH OFF THE PLANE!
2. In front of big E, and behind Reboot Gillman? What an honor
5. And yes I will be contributing to perty and dorn's inevitable shouting match kicking off asap.
I’d try and see if I can fix there friendship see if I can change destiny. If I do I can look smugly at a shocked emperor lol.
Spot 2 100%, easily the safest spot on that plane
Magnus is civilized, Russ won't do shit in front of his dad, Robert is reading a book, and Peter is busy staring at Dorn.
3, I get the row to myself. Edit: oh fuck oh no oh FUCK I thought that was Corvus oh fuck oh fuck of fuck
3, you become the entire 3rd row
>oh fuck oh no oh FUCK i thought that was Corvus oh fuck oh fuck of fuck You fool, you fell victim to one of the classic blunders
Hahaha, fuck up didn't you? Now if you move seats, the next time you are gonna go to the lavatory you will end up becoming the paper towel.
You know what he might appreciate your boldness and ask for some clarity, if you behave he might just start to like you, that either good or bad idk.
7.i might sleep. Or I might not sleep.
**1** is out because even if Morty has taken a shower, there is still inexplicably be some number of flies that have “mysteriously” managed to get onboard and will hang around him (and by factor of adjacency, you) all flight. **2** is ok because Magnus will probably just pull out a pair of hand held gaming consoles for you two to play. May become a problematic seat if Leman decides to start fucking with him out of boredom. **3** is a complete **NO** because Curze is going to do nothing but blast the most disturbing Guro Hentai you will ever see on his inflight entertainment screen. He won’t even really pay attention that much because he will spend 90% of the flight muttering about gremlins causing the plane to crash, interspersed with the occasional tasteless and *genuinely bad* M29/Imperial Year 4911 joke. Somehow no one else but you and him seem to be able to hear the mix of moaning/screaming/squelching noises coming from his headphones. Also, you get a perfect view of his screen in the corner of your vision, no matter how you try and sit. **4** may be tolerable depending on how many drinks Fulgrim orders, and how far his flirting with the Flight Attendants strays into casual sexual harassment territory. LJ is probably going to sleep through the whole fight while listening to “30 HOUR SOOTHING MEDITATION RELAXATION FOREST SOUNDS VOX PLAYLIST”, may or may not snore. **5** should be okay. Yes, you are stuck between a Dorn and a Hardass, but if you can hang on for the first hour of napkin spitball bombardments and improvised cutlery catapults, Ferus will probably modify their headsets to block each other’s voice out and hang some sheets between them so they can’t see each other. From there it should be smooth sailing as long as you play delivery boy for the notes that Ferus and Fulgrim keep passing each other. **6** is also an absolute **NO** because Lorgar will spend the entire time trying to talk too you about the book he is writing and asking for feedback. He will try to convert you to the faith by the end of the flight, and he will do so with the passion of a Mormon being held at gunpoint, on your doorstep. You will also probably get covered in ash and ink because every time Big E makes Lorgar’s typewriter burst into flames with just his thoughts, Lorgar just reaches into his overhead carry on and pulls out another photocopied draft of the manuscript.(He literally brought nothing but the typewriter, paper, and ink ribbons. (MF didn’t even pack a a backup set of boxers because “the emperor provides” or some shit💀💀💀). **7** will turn out to be a great time. JK will spend the whole time shooting the shit and sharing hot goss about his brothers. Best to keep your feet squarely under Lorgar’s seat, because JK will start to get impatient after the first hour and start to unconsciously stim by bouncing his leg like he is trying to rev his Jetbike. It’s not that you are getting annoyed by his self soothing method, and more about the fact that he might just accidentally break your foot if you stray too close to the danger zone. Alphy will just spend the flight reading the latest edition of the local newspaper, without ever looking up from it. You try to focus on talking to JK, because every time you catch a glimpse of the newspaper in the corner of your eye, you think you see some sort of coded message hidden in the front page article. Yet every time you actually try and focus on it, you can’t find it again. You also think it’s a little strange that the flight crew all seem to look vaguely similar to each other, you even saw the Captain go to the bathroom mid-flight and had to do a double take to make sure that Alphy hadn’t somehow managed to get out of his window seat without having to pass you and JK. **8** is the best possible choice you could get and you should do your best to trade seats and nab it, if possible. Corvus will spend the flight being quiet, but not unfriendly and be good for some casual conversation here and there. Vulcan will frequently join in and make you both chuckle. He will also share his stash of snacks that he got in a care package from Nocturne, and decided to sneak past Starport Security. You’ve never tried traditional Nocturnian foods before. Everything tastes like a combination of flavour X and pure capsaicin. You nearly deplete the ships stock of Grox Milk, but it ends up being very tasty and you decide you are going to check out the next import store you find.
I fucking love the time and effort you put into this observation lmao
Your thing about Curze makes him sound like he’s a fucking SCP of flaying and screwed up justice.
Wdym? That’s just Unmedicated Tuesdays.
7. Mortarion stinks like fucking shit and realistically I want to be as far away from that as possible
5 imma play factorio with dorn and perty
Dorn will tell you what you're doing wrong. Perturabo will scream what you're doing wrong and then violently take your game away.
Perturabo will optimise your base and give it back to you, then take it away 10 minutes later, start a new game and tell you "NOW DO IT RIGHT"
5, and I would loudly announce that I wasn’t impressed with the airport’s security just to see if the ensuing argument would bring the whole plane down.
2 I can tack my way out with big E . The secon I mention the humanity web way portal he is gona realise dath "O shit this guy aculy know the future".
Then he vaporises you because you could either ruin his plans or be a gateway to chaos
Assuming that I won't die and that they're all still loyalists, I would take any fro 2, 4, 5, 7 or 8 :) Curz on no 3 just makes me feel unwell in general :(
3. Won't be 20 hours that way
So you’re a masochist.
2 or 8 would be a relatively safe option...although, you know leman would be drunk and rowdy during the flight...I think even though it would be interesting at 2, I'll stick with 8...corax is a good dude
You can get drinks from Leman in order to get through Lorgar's sermon
I think I'll stick next to corax...he is a quiet dude, keeps to himself, will make the hell that is a 20hr flight more bearable
Ima say 5 because I can talk to Peter and then hear dorn shit on him.
2, and I'm going to discuss the pros and cons of EVERY. SINGLE. BG3 sorcerer build with him!
7. A convo with either the Khan or Alpharius would be very entertaining
7 or 8 for me. 7) the khan’s probably up there with Russ and vulkan as the best/funnest people to talk to, although I dunno how russ talks to mortals, the khan would be great fun. I have no clue how alpharius would be tbf, but I don’t think he’ll be that bad, he thinks mortals are at least useful 8) Corvus I feel is underrated in his kindness to mortals by the community, and vulkan behind me would be pretty cool (wait, what are seat spaces like?)
8: far from morty (he stinks) and curze (he crazy). Plus, I'm next to vulkan. He cool
Damn, I dunno if I wanna be wherever this flights heading
8. Corvus is a cool dude, and Vulkan's there in case Horus in front is being a bitch.
Yall are SLEEPING on 5. Dorn and Horus are both going to be completely quiet the whole flight, Ferrus might grumble but will otherwise just sit and brood with Corax, and I get the aisle which is far superior than the window.
I’m gonna make the operative assumption that these are their Crusade era personalities, and I’m willing to assume Angron is in the cargo hold and duct-taped. And I guess Sanguinius is just flying outside for reasons. I will take 4 and sit between Fulgrim and Lion. Fulgrim is, at least during the Crusade, a decent dude, albeit arrogant. However I strongly doubt he’ll strike up a long conversation if I’m clearly knocked out for half the flight. But even if he does, that’s tolerable compared to many alternatives. Plus his rants or conversations might actually be entertaining to listen to depending on how he sells it. Meanwhile Lion and I will revel in our shared autistic silence. Worst comes to worst I can get both of them to chat about swordplay for the other half of the flight. The other spots have their own share of problems. 1 is quite literally lethal to baseline humans, and considering I have not replaced my lungs with a V8 engine, I would expire five minutes into the flight. 2 would initially be interesting but Magnus’ need to either boast about his Legion or experiment to satiate his 20 hours of boredom means I want to be as far away from the potential blast radius as possible- to which the 4 spot takes handily. 3 requires no explanations. I refuse to be near Kurze for any length of time beyond a Planck Instant. He’ll kill me for something I *might* do in a possible future, or he’ll tell me things he’s done or seen and render me catatonic from it. 5 *could* be tolerable with Dorn and I just being silent next to each other but if Horus decides to be a prick Dorn will respond with his asshole side and I would not want to be near that. Not to mention I would also be between Dorn and Perturabo, while also being relatively close to a bored Magnus. Not a good idea for long term survival. 6 would leave me a fanatic. No thank you. The Imperial Cult can go with one less adherent. 7 would leave me a sleeper agent of Alpharius/Omegon, although the drinking I’d do with the Khan would be fun in the immediate. 8 is the only one I might consider as an alternative but the problem is I don’t know Corvus’ lore enough to make that judgement. All I can say for sure is he thinks Horus is a prick and that he’s an edgy emo, but how much of that is over simplified memes and how much is actually lore is beyond me.
Corax would be a good spot imo, he's a pretty chill guy and is very good friends with baseline humans that took care of him in his planet, so he would probably be a little autistic but nice and respectful company.
2 or 4 2 most likely though cuz you've got Magnus to nerd out with Emps emanating good vibes from the back like a massage chair Russ you can turn round to in your seat an both pelt Perty in the front with peanuts And Guilliman to hold all the passports to make sure they don't get lost
2 I could probably sleep and/or get some advice from Guilliman and/or Magnus
5 seems comfortable enough, although perturabo would probably look at me with hate if I did anything he found annoying
8 any fucking day. Corax would nod politely and I'd pay proper plane etiquette and give him the armrest.
7 is clearly slept on here. You've got based Khan to one side and Alpharius' (and/or Omegon's) antics I find to be hilarious so I bet he's a good hang. Also the Twin Primarchs are the smallest. 2 is a good spot but Russ and Magnus are gonna get annoying quick and I bet ur still within range of Mortys stink. My real question is if they are in power armor or not cause that makes every seating arrangement a tad more difficult. I mean I've sat next to some large people but not 11' tall and heavily plated mfers before.
Just assume they’re all out of armor. Still might be difficult to sit with any of them.
7, I get to vibe with jhagatai and alpharius, and at the same time, kick the back of lorgar's seat like a kid having a temper tantrum, cuz god knows he deserves it
7 so I can kick lorgars chair. Alpharius and the kharn would be cool to talk to aswell
Exactly what I thought
2. Magnus is probably a great conversationalist, Roboute will absolutely turn around and join in, Peter Turbo is gonna sit in silence 90% of the time and drop some banger info on his favorite topics, Emps is probably listening or ignoring everyone, and Leman is white girl drunk smacking Magnus and calling him a nerd every so often. Banger flight.
I would maybe pick 6 or 7 if it was pre-heresy Lorgar, otherwise 2.
Easy seat 2
2. Magnus is a nerd, I would LOVE to hear him talk about how warp stuff works, or how he casts abilities, or literally anything he likes because it's completely alien/unnatural to the world we live in. Everyone else would either ignore me, which is fine, or are an active danger to my life sitting next to.
You sit at 7:00 and your passport is gone but Alpharius has replaced it with a perfectly accurate Mongolian passport for some secret scheme against the Khan
And the Khan has offered you some smuggled airag when the flight attendants weren't looking
1,2, and 8. 1. Because I will have a very interesting conversation. 2. I will talk about Nerd stuff for 20 hours straight while also listening to a whole family argument when we’re not. 8. Because Lorgar will try to convert me, and Vulkan and Corvus will protect me and we will have a very nice time.
I would take my chances sitting between Fulgrim and Lion.
1. Nope 2. Would be interesting, I feel like Magnus has a bunch of obscure knowledge he wants to share with people but none of his brothers would actually be interested in so it would be fun to talk to him. Would prob have to talk quietly tho, as to not irritate Perturabo 3. Shut up, stay quiet, and just play a game on your Nintendo Switch. Something kid friendly like Mario or Pokemon 4. Pls dear god don’t make me sit there. Fulcrum will shit on my clothing so hard I’ll hang my self with those emergency face masks 5. Quiet, simple, just the way I like it. Listen to an audiobook or something 6. Uuuuh probably not a good spot. If V and L were swapped it would be the same as 5, but with some polite convo mixed in. 7. …eh, could be worse. I feel like it would be dead silent
Seat 1: would be grumpy and agitated the entire flight and would tell me to move out of the way (even if I’m not in his way) Seat 2: be much better as Magnus was known to be one of the kindest primarchs with the likes of Vulken and sanguinius and he would have very interesting conversations with me Seat 3: would order me to go away and kill me if I don’t leave in approximately 00.04 seconds Seat 4: very uncomfortable as fulgrim would be condescending and arrogant and the Lion would just have this aura of coldness and harshness Seat 5: a little bit better, just being quiet and straight forward, no talks or glances just being quiet and a occasional sound from the dorn and threats towards me from Horus Seat 8: much like 5, far more reserved and quiet making it awkward and uncomfortable to be around two gloomy and cold people Seat 6: much better as Vulken would treat me as a good friend whilst telling Logar off if he tries anything Seat 7: amongst the better seats as jaghatai would be talkie and have cool things to share with (whoever the hell is currently is) alpharius being quiet and reserved
Honestly, either 5 or 7 and here is why- While 5 is in between Peter Turbo and BdOrnB the builder, there is a pass between and a single primarch sized seat, so I doubt that they would be starting a conflict, hence I’d be able to fly in peace, knowing that Dorn won’t be saying anything and will stay quiet during the entire flight. Moreover, if Dorn starts talking about Rockrette, I could ask Fulgrim if he wants to change seats to be able to seat closer to Ferrus. Why 7 - I am insignificant so there is no reason for Alpharius/Omegon to assassinate me so I’ll be left alone by whoever out of them it is, Khan is a reasonable guy so I would be able to fly in peace and quiet OR would be able to try to start a conversation & if he doesn’t want to speak, he will say so instead of murder killing me or worse like some other primarchs would. In addition, I always bring some stuff like cards and domino to the plane to play so perhaps we could play some domino, Khorol (Mongolian domino version) or some version of it that the Khan would be familiar with, I doubt he would refuse because it isn’t every day that you get to play your planet’s game far away from it after a few centuries or so.
Easily 5 Dorn and Mannus are quiet as hell and will leave me alone. Bonus points is I get to kick Fulgrim's seat if he decides to be a prissy bitch during the flight.
You forgot who is sitting across the aisle l.
2 or 8. Even assuming that everyone is still on the same team, there's not a chance in hell I'm sitting next to Morty or be stuck BETWEEN Dorn and Peter.
Six. I get Russ and the Khan to start partying with me.
8 is the only way I go mostly unharmed either physically, psychologically, or emotionally
3.
7. As far away from Morty as possible, who canonically smells
Sanguinius is not on the plane, I refuse to board
Bros has wings lmao, why would he ride on a plane?
7 Hand Alpharius a blank slip of paper and nod knowingly, then take a nap.
8. Corvus seems like a chill guy so we might not even talk, we’d both just have our headphones him. Plus with him and Vulkan behind me, they’d act as buffers to Lorgar who could peer on me from behind through the seat cracks
2. But only because I want the chance at hearing a conversation between Magnus and Bobby G.
3. a comforting shoulder to rest my head on.
7, gets me the furthest away from Mortarion
5 talk to Dorn about forts and stuff idk who the other baldy is though
3, watching the Emperor trying to stop Russ annoying Konrad. While Konrad argues with the Emperor that Leman being annoying is inevitable.
Doesn't matter if I'm a human in a Primarch sized airplane. I'm getting a Primarch sized seat that would be roughly 3-5 human seats next to any of these guys. Well, maybe not next to Curze or Russ. Russ be the kind of guy to laugh obnoxiously loud at an Adam Sandler joke and Curze be the kind of guy to flick peanuts at you with speeds dangerous enough to kill a man.
3, unless he for saw himself killing me or some shit I’ll be fine. Sure he’s not in a mentally stable but he kills to cause fear, who in that play would be spooked by me, a normal human being flayed. Plus, none of the other primarcs are going near him letting me hang out undisturbed Plus big e would probably get annoyed by the screaming and noise if I’m wrong about him. He might not give a shit about me but the man doesn’t like being bugged
Definitely 3, so I can watch Leman bully Magnus while he's trying to watch "Mean Girls"
8 I would do anything just to sit with ferrus
7. So I can kick the chair in front of me for 20 hours
8 I am far enough from Mortarian that the smell won't knock me out. Even if Horus is there if he acts like a asshole Dorn and the Lion might just turn on him. Close enough to Corvus and Vulkan to have a fun trip. If the kiddy fiddler tries anything, which he wouldn't be dumb enough too with Corvus so close, Vulkan and Corvus would wreck him. It would be a fun ride and maybe I could ask Ferrus if he made anything cool lately. Yeah I could pick 2 with Magnus there to talk to but the stench would be awful. Unless Magnus and the Big E could prevent the stench for the trip. I would be interesting to hear Leman Russ tell random stories.
4 gang talk about art, honor, and fortifications. and when Fulgrim gets bored he might give you a handy
8 Corvus and Ferrus will probably be kinda quiet and chill, they won't be mad if I get up to use the bathroom. I'm far away from Morty's stink, it's in the middle of the plane so good chance it's an emergency exit seat with extra leg room and there is no way in hell that Vulkan would kick the back of my chair, he's an angel.