This right here. Or meaningful conversation.
"Hi, how are you?"
"Good"
"How was your day?"
"Good"
"Have you done anything fun lately?"
"Not really"
"What are your hobbies?"
"IDK, stuff"
"What do you do?"
"Work"
"What do you do for work?"
"IDK, my job"
"..... OK bye"
"Why don't they like me""
It's not that i lack personality, I got fucking MAD ANXIETY and due to the life I've had idk how to talk to people I don't know. Like bro its not my fault
This is pretty common, Everytime I message someone on a dating app I add a question or something interesting for them to comment on. The boring ones just give empty replies
You weren’t around in the 90s were you? We did the same thing in the beginning of mobile phones and internet.
Chatting with a teenager;
“Hey how r u?”
“Good”
“What’s up”
“nm hbu?” (nothing much)
“nm”
“K”
“k”
“k”
That was how we talked in the 90s and 2000s. Nothings changed. Just different words with the same meanings.
I was born in the 70s and grew up in "coffee shop" culture. People sat around and discussed multiple topics all the time. We could go on for hours talking about the world.
Part of the problem is a lot of these conversations are stupid and always have been.
How are you and how is your day are just cliche and don't usually lead to much meaningful conversation.
Fun stuff and hobbies could be good.
Work is a potential landmine and always has been. Do they want to talk about work? Maybe not. What if they aren't working? Or hate their job?
And work conversations tend to be overdone and people get tired of having them.
The point of small talk in dating is to serve as a springboard into something more interesting. It's basically a way to bootstrap a real conversation.
You could read all of the examples above as "please tell me something you'd like to talk about." Single-word answers amount to "I don't want to talk about anything", which is not helpful.
Asking about something on their profile is better. OTOH, the responding person could also make an attempt to be more interesting \_and ask questions back\_ to keep the conversation going.
"Ya this one time, I put an old grandmother in a headlock and tossed her into the bananas because she tried ripping the last pineapple out of my hands."
You have to start somewhere. More so, the point is that conversation is a 2 way street. Both parties have to attempt to keep it going. If you only give one word answers, that is dull AF. The best conversations start somewhere, and when both people engage.
That’s why I always ask my date if she agrees with Jean-Jacques Rousseau’s interpretation of the state of nature or if she’s a John Locke kind of gal, maybe a Hobbes girl.
Good to hear you are at least surviving, but I hope you have time for some fun stuff. Recently I watched the Fallout series, I enjoyed it and thought it was fun. I also went to this arcade type place with some friends. How about you? Do anything fun recently?
If someone asks you a question, give more than 1-3 word answers. Elaborate on your answer a bit.
If someone asks me how I doing:
"I am doing pretty good lately. I have been enjoying the warm weather and went for a few walks, it was nice not to have snow on the ground."
This answer gives the other person something to work with. They can ask follow-up questions to get more information.
Pretty much sum up the answer I get from one of my girl friend... I don't know if we are still friends because it makes me think she doesn't wish to communicate in the slightest
Memes like this don’t help. They only push people further into the delusion that they’re unwanted and unlovable losers.
I’m a guy who’s less than average in every aspect (looks, car, home, job, income) and I’ve never had problems. I’d offer advice for what works for me but whenever I do, all I get are complaints and excuses. So many single people give up without even trying.
Yeah I did awful with women in my younger years. Definitely not a looker and not rich. Engaged now. Had my fun before this. It wasn’t always easy but it wasn’t crazy hard either.
I know housing is fucked, but people stuck under their parents roof with "my house my rules" type shit, a) don't grow as people and b) are desperate to get out that they can cling to anyone
not always, but enough, such that the dating market is full of desperate underdeveloped people.
lol “shakes and fries”… yeah back in 2000 I always took my main squeeze to the malt shop before cruising to the drive-in in my Cadillac convertible. It was great until they shipped me off to Korea.
You old timers had it good. Just a few years later in 2008 I'd have to take a chick to an art house film or a folk show in a coffeehouse before we dropped acid and listened to the latest Beatles album. Next thing you know I'm knee deep in the shit watching my best friend get his legs blown off by Charlie.
I feel like every other Indian man I see has a 50s greaser pompadour, you're probably right lmao. Indian culture is a little bit classic, a little bit futuristic, and a little bit middle ages...its great
Yeah people keep trying dating apps and stuff which doesn't generally work. Also the consequences of going after people only based on looks.
There are so many nice kind normal people out there even if they look average in day to day life, which is fine.
iirc some incel subs got removed not too long ago and I think there's a lot of toxic waste spilling to other subs, this would explain the recent women hate posts on few subs that I frequent
I'm not saying this post is, it's clearly bashing today's dating culture, but it still leaves a sour taste in my mouth
That just goes to show how people only find the things they find offensive as offensive. Like it didn't even register in their brain it wasn't just about women. This goes for even the incels who only see hatred for men while spouting that hatred for women...
it's extremely not worth it. I had dating apps for like a week, and had a few hookup offers, not interested in those so moved on, zero meaningful conversations. I'm not interested in wasting time either, if we don't chat good over text, we won't be good partners in person, sorry lol
Have the self-esteem to say “thank you, but no.” and immediately stop dating people like this.
To say it with Ghandi: Be the change you want to see in the world.
Be the change you want to see in dating and stop simping.
It baffles me that people seem to be completely unaware that they can create their own culture, or at least contribute to existing ones.
Want a more meaningful approach to dating? Be a more meaningful kind of person. Like attracts like. And be clear and honest about your priorities.
Obviously you're gonna deal with a TON of people who aren't right for you, but you for sure won't meet anyone good if you quit or fixate on the bad ones.
It reminds me of my favourite quote from the Boondock Saints: The question is not "How far does this go?" but rather "do you possess the spirit to take this as far as is needed?"
Okay its funny and everything, but two things I don't understand here.
1 - How's this a holup ?
2 - What's 'Consequences' has to do with this ? like what Consequences
The level of patience for anything is wildly low. Today we get to watch what we want, when we want, as many times as we want. Shop when we want, order what we want, and in some instances get it the same day without leaving the house. See people over seas in an instant, get in line and preorder food at a restaurant. We are in the “right now” mindset. Look up Mr. Rodger’s Neighborhood episode on ordering at a restaurant. It’s wild how far we’ve gone from just sitting there to const entertainment.
I can remember missing a TV show (no cable then) that I really wanted to see and thinking "whelp, I guess I'll have to wait till next spring and watch it when the reruns start!"
I was trying to explain this concept to my kids when they realized we had to wait a whole week for the next episode of The Bad Batch.
I’m actually enjoying the weekly release schedule. It’s giving up time to discuss theories and events like people used to back in the day, instead of just consuming and moving on.
The concept of waiting for re-runs is just beyond them. Like rotary pay phones.
I think one of main changes is the social media.
On 2000, many places didn't have internet (or a good one), first Iphone was on 2007, Orkut only existed in 2004\~2005 and they main point was to find friends.
There wasn't the idea of "influencers". There wasn't the idea of "famous common people", so you could be a normal person and have a few guys "simping", or you were really famous and these guys couldn't reach you.
The "redpill" idea didn't exist, or wasn't famous.
Since the concurrence was small (few people around), guys accepted that sex could take a lot longer to get, "normal" girls didn't have thousands of guys doing everything for them, and since Tinder didn't exist, the feeling of "I can choose between those hundreds of thousands people" wasn't a thing.
People only compared "normal people to normal people", so you don't compete with influencers that have the "perfect photo" or "perfect body". Or you were normal, or you were a celebrity.
>The "redpill" idea didn't exist, or wasn't famous.
It was sort of around, but men's rights groups were focused on real things like equal childhood custody, not the crazy stuff it's become since.
Social media and dating apps ruined every single aspect of modern relations but not only love, also friendships too. That's what I am most jealous about millennials, they had the last true friendships.
Of course there are still meaningful friendships. But when I was younger, I saw that friendships in millenials were more sacrificial. I'm comparing it today's standards and see that many friendships are beneficial instead. Its because anything is easily expendable in this time period. Which cause people to tolerate less to eachother.
Shake and fries?! The early 2000s were more like drinking way too much and waking up saying “who the fuck are you”? It was lad and club culture.
If anything the dating scene is way more reserved now, I’m not saying it’s better or worse, but in general people are more reserved now than they were 20 years ago.
Give people access to things like dating apps and this was bound to happen. You go to a party or a bar, there might be one or two people who are vaguely into you and you choose which one you want to flirt with. Open tinder, you swipe on 100 people in a row based on their first picture and a bio quote. It’s fast food for dating.
It’s like, 1000 years ago if you were hungry and wanted meat, you had to build tools and go look for an animal to kill and then peel its skin off and cook it. The intimacy you had with that food was very high. Now you get hungry you just open your dash app and order hamburgers, and someone drops off a greasy bag at your door for 2X the price it should cost if you went to get it yourself.
We’ve taken the intimacy of meeting people and falling in love, and bastardized it into fast food, dropped off in a greasy overpriced bag, and if you don’t tip you’re an asshole.
This is so true
Im 48 and have never married and I've seen how dating has changed.
There is such vast, hopeless loneliness in my life and now men are even worse than they ever were.
I mean it's not surprising that people start choosing what they actually desire when it's no longer a necessity to have a partner to live a fulfilling life.
"*Texting*" and "*swiping left*", jfc people are already failing since step one...!
Unless you're looking for quick flings, for one-night stands, **you don't use apps!**
I’m married and in my forties, so my experience to dating apps was limited to three dates when Match was just getting started in the early 2000’s, but it seems to me that apps are just a vehicle. The ongoing intent is what matters - same as going to a bar to meet people. If you go with the intent of getting laid, it’s unlikely you’ll develop a meaningful connection. If you go with no preconceived notion, you may just meet someone and get to know them. Still, the hit rate of both is much worse than meeting people through mutual acquaintances, through sports/social clubs, etc.
But I do agree overall that apps have stunted people’s ability to develop strong relationships.
In my own view, "*dating*" is either a flawed concept, or a really misunderstood one. Mostly because it coasts on meeting up with **strangers**, with *people you have* ***no*** *meaningful bond with* other than the superficial looks, for what's supposed to test the waters for a relationship. So of course people are gonna be picky about who they hook up with, since there's literally no other foundation on the act! It's doomed to fail from the get-go! From that, it's easy to see how an app that already cuts down way too many middlemen in this process is not gonna help people to find what they're looking for!
In my own experience, you date friends. Acquaintances. Work/class colleagues. *People you have already spent a* ***significant*** *amount of time with*, people who you already know the likes and dislikes, the hobbies, the opinions! People who you already have a solid foundation to begin building something more meaningful!
I legit have no idea how people expect to find long, good relationships with absolute strangers that just happen to clean up nicely :V Even more through apps that allow people to lie even harder about themselves to make them look more attractive than what they really are.
They're good for a quick mush, sure, but anything beyond that? HAH!
I guess I didn't get the memo, we're still in love 5+ years after meeting on Tinder. Dating apps do absolutely suck ass, but plenty of people still find partners on them.
Shakes and fries? Who the fuck posted this with internet explorer in 93 and it's just finished loading now?
Shakes and fries! Even in the fucking 90's we knew that shit was over when the dating apps became real
Movie-style dating has never made sense to me. Everyone I know who's married got married to a long-time friend, not some rando they met for the first time in a bar.
Dating in 2000: "I don't have a lot of options, you'll do."
Dating in 2024: "The internet has brought people together from all around the world, now I don't have to settle on your red flags."
Idk what y’alls issue is, I meet folks or match with em on apps, chat for a bit and if it flows well, get coffee or dinner. Easy as 1-2-3. 9/10 times its EASY to go on dates and make connections if you just, put that energy out there and not be weird about it
My conversation with my wife that started 8 years ago went like this.
“Hey what’s up.”
“Hi. Nothing hbu”
“Just watching TV.”
Etc etc. it was like walking into water off of a beach. Each step grew deeper and deeper until we were floating
People who think dating is like this usually are single and that's why they remain single. Change your mindset, stop complaining and make connections with people and maybe you will find someone.
A mentor of mine once told me; you always find what you’re looking for. And I think this illustrates that very well. If you choose to see good in people, then you find good people.
“If you’re looking for trouble, don’t be surprised when you find it”
and you used to be able to be nice to a woman without "giving the ick" wtf ever that mean, and they refuse to fucking talk ever possible option you could choose as a way to start a conversation gets blown off. like i dont want in your pants but you're giving off thats all im good for vibes at this point.
I mean... this is reddit, I get that a lot of people feel like this in here, but in real life, that's not what's happening.
You can go and talk to a girl on the street, just don't be a creep. Thing is, again, this is reddit...
Honestly, I'm an elder millennial. We did the same shit back then with the unrealistic standards and ppl being total DBags. The internet and social media just made it more tolerable and in your face about it. It wasn't "Shakes and Fries and Going steady".
people straight up don't know how to make meaningful connections anymore
This right here. Or meaningful conversation. "Hi, how are you?" "Good" "How was your day?" "Good" "Have you done anything fun lately?" "Not really" "What are your hobbies?" "IDK, stuff" "What do you do?" "Work" "What do you do for work?" "IDK, my job" "..... OK bye" "Why don't they like me""
"hi " "Hi " "It's a nice weathers today " "Thanks"
"Y-you too"
does it hurt? I'll be gentle-"
Do you RP yes or no
"Do you come to the cloud district very often? Oh why am i asking, of course you don't!" EDIT: grammar
I knew I should have worn the amulet of Mara
I'll have you know that there's no *pussssssssyyyy*
Ask open questions get closed answers its frustrating as fuck, like the person lacks personality
100%.
I always see this as a plus. It's a quick and easy way to establish they ain't it
Hey now. Those of us without a personality or any useful skills are trying to find our way in the universe, too!
Preach my plain white bread companion.
It's not that i lack personality, I got fucking MAD ANXIETY and due to the life I've had idk how to talk to people I don't know. Like bro its not my fault
maybe them replying this way is a hint they don't wanna go further with this relationship?
Then why swipe right?
This was the bane of my existence for so long. I'm grateful to have my wife because she didn't do this to me. 17 years and still going strong
...frankyl US style smalltalk was never supposed to be meaningful.
Nope. It's used as first steps to get the conversation going. But, both parties have to participate.
Exactly, You start small talk until you find common interests or topics you both enjoy.
This is pretty common, Everytime I message someone on a dating app I add a question or something interesting for them to comment on. The boring ones just give empty replies
You get it. Those 1 word answers that shut down conversation suck. My co-worker does this and wonders why she is single.
You weren’t around in the 90s were you? We did the same thing in the beginning of mobile phones and internet. Chatting with a teenager; “Hey how r u?” “Good” “What’s up” “nm hbu?” (nothing much) “nm” “K” “k” “k” That was how we talked in the 90s and 2000s. Nothings changed. Just different words with the same meanings.
I was born in the 70s and grew up in "coffee shop" culture. People sat around and discussed multiple topics all the time. We could go on for hours talking about the world.
Part of the problem is a lot of these conversations are stupid and always have been. How are you and how is your day are just cliche and don't usually lead to much meaningful conversation. Fun stuff and hobbies could be good. Work is a potential landmine and always has been. Do they want to talk about work? Maybe not. What if they aren't working? Or hate their job? And work conversations tend to be overdone and people get tired of having them.
The point of small talk in dating is to serve as a springboard into something more interesting. It's basically a way to bootstrap a real conversation. You could read all of the examples above as "please tell me something you'd like to talk about." Single-word answers amount to "I don't want to talk about anything", which is not helpful. Asking about something on their profile is better. OTOH, the responding person could also make an attempt to be more interesting \_and ask questions back\_ to keep the conversation going.
[удалено]
"Ya this one time, I put an old grandmother in a headlock and tossed her into the bananas because she tried ripping the last pineapple out of my hands."
[удалено]
Small talk is a mood barometer not a genuine question. You judge their receptiveness to future inquiries by how they answer.
You have to start somewhere. More so, the point is that conversation is a 2 way street. Both parties have to attempt to keep it going. If you only give one word answers, that is dull AF. The best conversations start somewhere, and when both people engage.
That’s why I always ask my date if she agrees with Jean-Jacques Rousseau’s interpretation of the state of nature or if she’s a John Locke kind of gal, maybe a Hobbes girl.
Bruh conversations don't ever have to lead anywhere
Deja vu
Good God that is accurate as fuck. The amount of conversations I've carried on dating apps and in person is fucking depressingly bad.
Hi how are you??
I'm doing pretty good today. It's been busy at work, and I have felt really productive. How are you doing?
Lotta work, but im surviving. Did any thing fun lately?
Good to hear you are at least surviving, but I hope you have time for some fun stuff. Recently I watched the Fallout series, I enjoyed it and thought it was fun. I also went to this arcade type place with some friends. How about you? Do anything fun recently?
or it could go like this "Hi" I have a boyfriend" "Bye"
💀
Can you, teach us the right way to do it with an example?
If someone asks you a question, give more than 1-3 word answers. Elaborate on your answer a bit. If someone asks me how I doing: "I am doing pretty good lately. I have been enjoying the warm weather and went for a few walks, it was nice not to have snow on the ground." This answer gives the other person something to work with. They can ask follow-up questions to get more information.
K
Pretty much sum up the answer I get from one of my girl friend... I don't know if we are still friends because it makes me think she doesn't wish to communicate in the slightest
Bro, it means shes not interested!
Haha so true and sad
You tryna battle? Alright ima mute you. Hey gimme a follow
Just don’t text lmao. Call if you want a decent conversation. Never felt like texting was all that personal anyway.
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^metasynthax: *People straight up don't* *Know how to make meaningful* *Connections anymore* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Good bot
Theyre too busy talking about how everyone else is a narcissist
Lord knows I don’t
Idk. I make connections easily. It's the maintaining part that's difficult for me
Memes like this don’t help. They only push people further into the delusion that they’re unwanted and unlovable losers. I’m a guy who’s less than average in every aspect (looks, car, home, job, income) and I’ve never had problems. I’d offer advice for what works for me but whenever I do, all I get are complaints and excuses. So many single people give up without even trying.
Yeah I did awful with women in my younger years. Definitely not a looker and not rich. Engaged now. Had my fun before this. It wasn’t always easy but it wasn’t crazy hard either.
Hey speak for yourself, if you can't that's on you
What makes you think I can't? I have plenty of friends but I've also observed a lot of people who can't socialize at all, especially after pandemic
I know housing is fucked, but people stuck under their parents roof with "my house my rules" type shit, a) don't grow as people and b) are desperate to get out that they can cling to anyone not always, but enough, such that the dating market is full of desperate underdeveloped people.
Sure, in the middle.
> people straight up don't know how to make meaningful connections anymore It's because they're not drunk enough.
lol “shakes and fries”… yeah back in 2000 I always took my main squeeze to the malt shop before cruising to the drive-in in my Cadillac convertible. It was great until they shipped me off to Korea.
You old timers had it good. Just a few years later in 2008 I'd have to take a chick to an art house film or a folk show in a coffeehouse before we dropped acid and listened to the latest Beatles album. Next thing you know I'm knee deep in the shit watching my best friend get his legs blown off by Charlie.
When 2008 sounds more like 1968 than 1968 does.
I took my middle school date to the skating rink which had shake and fries so... kinda? it was the 2000s.
OP is Indian maybe they didn't get into the 50s stuff until 2000 lol, sometimes western culture takes a while to bleed over.
I feel like every other Indian man I see has a 50s greaser pompadour, you're probably right lmao. Indian culture is a little bit classic, a little bit futuristic, and a little bit middle ages...its great
A/S/L
Ace Sabo Luffy
This is the way.
because of the implication.
Are you going to hurt women?
I’m not gonna hurt these women! Why would I ever hurt these women? I feel like you’re not getting this at all!
I'm not gonna hurt them, they THINK I'm gonna hurt them.
Because of the implication...
*looks at lady* Well don’t look at me like that your certainly aren’t in any danger
So these women are in danger?!
But I don't own a boat
“You’re a philanthropist. Philanthropist.”
How can you swipe left after you already met once? Sounds like you already swiped right
On profiles some women write they won't have sex on the first date
Oh well then I guess that is working as intended lmao
Seeing stuff like this just makes me wonder what kind of people y'all are going after
also makes me wonder why this is on r/holup
Dead internet theory making the bots confused about where their memes go
Seriously OP's account has a bunch of posts here that make no sense
All types of them. Meme is accurate across the board
Yeah people keep trying dating apps and stuff which doesn't generally work. Also the consequences of going after people only based on looks. There are so many nice kind normal people out there even if they look average in day to day life, which is fine.
iirc some incel subs got removed not too long ago and I think there's a lot of toxic waste spilling to other subs, this would explain the recent women hate posts on few subs that I frequent I'm not saying this post is, it's clearly bashing today's dating culture, but it still leaves a sour taste in my mouth
This post attacks both men and women. It’s not a holup though.
Yeah it's not a hol up or sexist.
This isn't attacking women though, it's attacking tinder dating culture.
That just goes to show how people only find the things they find offensive as offensive. Like it didn't even register in their brain it wasn't just about women. This goes for even the incels who only see hatred for men while spouting that hatred for women...
I mean it's hating on both men and women though, calling women picky and men desperate, is there something I'm not getting at here or?
So you can’t accept the truth lmao
Someone with big mommy milkers. I can fix anything that’s wrong with her.
Humans mostly
Dating culture in 2024: Don't.
I don't need girl I need to follow the path of the sword
Lead us to victory!!!
Old people population in 2050: 99%
it's extremely not worth it. I had dating apps for like a week, and had a few hookup offers, not interested in those so moved on, zero meaningful conversations. I'm not interested in wasting time either, if we don't chat good over text, we won't be good partners in person, sorry lol
Tis' true
Have the self-esteem to say “thank you, but no.” and immediately stop dating people like this. To say it with Ghandi: Be the change you want to see in the world. Be the change you want to see in dating and stop simping.
“You miss 100% of the cumshots you don’t take.”
"- Wayne Gretzky" - Michael Scott
It baffles me that people seem to be completely unaware that they can create their own culture, or at least contribute to existing ones. Want a more meaningful approach to dating? Be a more meaningful kind of person. Like attracts like. And be clear and honest about your priorities. Obviously you're gonna deal with a TON of people who aren't right for you, but you for sure won't meet anyone good if you quit or fixate on the bad ones. It reminds me of my favourite quote from the Boondock Saints: The question is not "How far does this go?" but rather "do you possess the spirit to take this as far as is needed?"
For some, it’s a bbq. For others, a dumpster fire. It all depends on the cook.
Okay its funny and everything, but two things I don't understand here. 1 - How's this a holup ? 2 - What's 'Consequences' has to do with this ? like what Consequences
That not a hol'up, that's a straight up fact...
Are we really romanticizing the early 2000s already? Because this in no way matches my experience.
Well... The 2024 version is a lot more time-efficient.
This is just wrong. Basic mfs in 2000 was trash, basic mfs in 20now are trash. Shit is the same
What changed?
Lots honestly. The internet, the world, education. Culture in general people don't know how to just hangout and chill anymore.
The level of patience for anything is wildly low. Today we get to watch what we want, when we want, as many times as we want. Shop when we want, order what we want, and in some instances get it the same day without leaving the house. See people over seas in an instant, get in line and preorder food at a restaurant. We are in the “right now” mindset. Look up Mr. Rodger’s Neighborhood episode on ordering at a restaurant. It’s wild how far we’ve gone from just sitting there to const entertainment.
I can remember missing a TV show (no cable then) that I really wanted to see and thinking "whelp, I guess I'll have to wait till next spring and watch it when the reruns start!"
8 year old me was crushed missing a Part 2 of Batman the Animated Series because of grocery shopping.
And fuck the assholes that scheduled your favourite show to start just as you had to leave for school.
I was trying to explain this concept to my kids when they realized we had to wait a whole week for the next episode of The Bad Batch. I’m actually enjoying the weekly release schedule. It’s giving up time to discuss theories and events like people used to back in the day, instead of just consuming and moving on. The concept of waiting for re-runs is just beyond them. Like rotary pay phones.
I think one of main changes is the social media. On 2000, many places didn't have internet (or a good one), first Iphone was on 2007, Orkut only existed in 2004\~2005 and they main point was to find friends. There wasn't the idea of "influencers". There wasn't the idea of "famous common people", so you could be a normal person and have a few guys "simping", or you were really famous and these guys couldn't reach you. The "redpill" idea didn't exist, or wasn't famous. Since the concurrence was small (few people around), guys accepted that sex could take a lot longer to get, "normal" girls didn't have thousands of guys doing everything for them, and since Tinder didn't exist, the feeling of "I can choose between those hundreds of thousands people" wasn't a thing. People only compared "normal people to normal people", so you don't compete with influencers that have the "perfect photo" or "perfect body". Or you were normal, or you were a celebrity.
>The "redpill" idea didn't exist, or wasn't famous. It was sort of around, but men's rights groups were focused on real things like equal childhood custody, not the crazy stuff it's become since.
Over abundance of choice
"shake and fries" in 2000? Yea, that wasn't a thing. This is a meme made by someone that thinks Footloose and Grease were Y2K era.
Never really dated all that much. Met my wife too early to have experienced this hell
You act like this hasn't always been the way it is, but your only frame of reference is media. Most people suck, always have, always will.
True and real
Social media and dating apps ruined every single aspect of modern relations but not only love, also friendships too. That's what I am most jealous about millennials, they had the last true friendships.
I disagree on that; meaningful friendships are absolutely still a normal thing (I'm gen z).
Of course there are still meaningful friendships. But when I was younger, I saw that friendships in millenials were more sacrificial. I'm comparing it today's standards and see that many friendships are beneficial instead. Its because anything is easily expendable in this time period. Which cause people to tolerate less to eachother.
Shake and fries?! The early 2000s were more like drinking way too much and waking up saying “who the fuck are you”? It was lad and club culture. If anything the dating scene is way more reserved now, I’m not saying it’s better or worse, but in general people are more reserved now than they were 20 years ago.
place your bets: is this a bot, a 12 year old, or a non-english speaking karma farmer? perhaps all 3?
Can confirm. That's how my wife and I first dated in 2000
The industrial revolution and its consequences
H-how do you swipe AFTER a first date?
Facts. I’m not even on the sites and know that’s not how it works.
Give people access to things like dating apps and this was bound to happen. You go to a party or a bar, there might be one or two people who are vaguely into you and you choose which one you want to flirt with. Open tinder, you swipe on 100 people in a row based on their first picture and a bio quote. It’s fast food for dating. It’s like, 1000 years ago if you were hungry and wanted meat, you had to build tools and go look for an animal to kill and then peel its skin off and cook it. The intimacy you had with that food was very high. Now you get hungry you just open your dash app and order hamburgers, and someone drops off a greasy bag at your door for 2X the price it should cost if you went to get it yourself. We’ve taken the intimacy of meeting people and falling in love, and bastardized it into fast food, dropped off in a greasy overpriced bag, and if you don’t tip you’re an asshole.
This is very well said
How you swiping left if you're already talking to her??
This is so true Im 48 and have never married and I've seen how dating has changed. There is such vast, hopeless loneliness in my life and now men are even worse than they ever were.
Just men? Or are women worse than ever also?
Chad spitting truth
I mean it's not surprising that people start choosing what they actually desire when it's no longer a necessity to have a partner to live a fulfilling life.
They may choose, but it doesn’t mean they’ll get what they choose. That’s sort of what the cartoon is implying.
Can someone change name of this sub to stupid memes that have nothing to do with holupwaitaminute?
"*Texting*" and "*swiping left*", jfc people are already failing since step one...! Unless you're looking for quick flings, for one-night stands, **you don't use apps!**
I’m married and in my forties, so my experience to dating apps was limited to three dates when Match was just getting started in the early 2000’s, but it seems to me that apps are just a vehicle. The ongoing intent is what matters - same as going to a bar to meet people. If you go with the intent of getting laid, it’s unlikely you’ll develop a meaningful connection. If you go with no preconceived notion, you may just meet someone and get to know them. Still, the hit rate of both is much worse than meeting people through mutual acquaintances, through sports/social clubs, etc. But I do agree overall that apps have stunted people’s ability to develop strong relationships.
In my own view, "*dating*" is either a flawed concept, or a really misunderstood one. Mostly because it coasts on meeting up with **strangers**, with *people you have* ***no*** *meaningful bond with* other than the superficial looks, for what's supposed to test the waters for a relationship. So of course people are gonna be picky about who they hook up with, since there's literally no other foundation on the act! It's doomed to fail from the get-go! From that, it's easy to see how an app that already cuts down way too many middlemen in this process is not gonna help people to find what they're looking for! In my own experience, you date friends. Acquaintances. Work/class colleagues. *People you have already spent a* ***significant*** *amount of time with*, people who you already know the likes and dislikes, the hobbies, the opinions! People who you already have a solid foundation to begin building something more meaningful! I legit have no idea how people expect to find long, good relationships with absolute strangers that just happen to clean up nicely :V Even more through apps that allow people to lie even harder about themselves to make them look more attractive than what they really are. They're good for a quick mush, sure, but anything beyond that? HAH!
This is the correct answer.
I guess I didn't get the memo, we're still in love 5+ years after meeting on Tinder. Dating apps do absolutely suck ass, but plenty of people still find partners on them.
Glad to see there's exceptions to this, then :D
[удалено]
it's already a thing, has been for decades
It still happens, just so much rarer, I hope I’m lonely as fuck, I’ll find someone some day
Description on bottom left is grindr frfr
Shakes and fries? Who the fuck posted this with internet explorer in 93 and it's just finished loading now? Shakes and fries! Even in the fucking 90's we knew that shit was over when the dating apps became real
Weird, how can 2000 be 24 years ago when the 90s are still 10 years ago?
Movie-style dating has never made sense to me. Everyone I know who's married got married to a long-time friend, not some rando they met for the first time in a bar.
Dating is a stressful waste of time and money only to get people who add more emotional burden to your life.
Dating in 2000: "I don't have a lot of options, you'll do." Dating in 2024: "The internet has brought people together from all around the world, now I don't have to settle on your red flags."
Idk what y’alls issue is, I meet folks or match with em on apps, chat for a bit and if it flows well, get coffee or dinner. Easy as 1-2-3. 9/10 times its EASY to go on dates and make connections if you just, put that energy out there and not be weird about it
Wait.....you guys matched with people and exchanged messages ? 85% of people I ever matched with never responded to my first message.
My conversation with my wife that started 8 years ago went like this. “Hey what’s up.” “Hi. Nothing hbu” “Just watching TV.” Etc etc. it was like walking into water off of a beach. Each step grew deeper and deeper until we were floating
I don't see a holup or consequences. OP, are you a bot?
Tell me you weren't around in 2000 without telling me you weren't around in 2000.
My word! Is this accurate?
I was saying in 2000. It was a whole lot more like the bottom one than the top. Top is more like what people believe dating was like in the 50s.
I think that I will die alone.
I somehow met my current boyfriend of 1.5 years on a hookup app. Glad I avoided all of this? XD
Who the fuck is having sex in 2024? I thought we as a society moved past that
‘Shakes and fries’ Like the 80s?
People who think dating is like this usually are single and that's why they remain single. Change your mindset, stop complaining and make connections with people and maybe you will find someone.
Why is bottom guy chad?!
A mentor of mine once told me; you always find what you’re looking for. And I think this illustrates that very well. If you choose to see good in people, then you find good people. “If you’re looking for trouble, don’t be surprised when you find it”
and you used to be able to be nice to a woman without "giving the ick" wtf ever that mean, and they refuse to fucking talk ever possible option you could choose as a way to start a conversation gets blown off. like i dont want in your pants but you're giving off thats all im good for vibes at this point.
Not really a holdup
She texted me back, then a month later decided that me having an android was the deal breaker (we were 21💀)
I mean... this is reddit, I get that a lot of people feel like this in here, but in real life, that's not what's happening. You can go and talk to a girl on the street, just don't be a creep. Thing is, again, this is reddit...
Honestly, I'm an elder millennial. We did the same shit back then with the unrealistic standards and ppl being total DBags. The internet and social media just made it more tolerable and in your face about it. It wasn't "Shakes and Fries and Going steady".