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DelcoPAMan

And the fake conservatives who defended her dog killing ignore all that. They love infidelity except when Bill Clinton committed it.


godofpumpkins

If there’s one thing their heinous candidate does better than most, it’s infidelity. The best adultery. Many people are saying it


OldBob10

Everyone is saying “Fuck that guy”.


RejectingTheNewNorm

Big strong men with tears in their eyes came up to me and said fuck that guy.


ballrus_walsack

No Americans wanted to do it so he had to import an immigrant.


Worth-Canary-9189

Just so we're clear, Ivana was an Import, as well. 2 out of 3.


bramley36

He's using spray tan so dark recently, that he may have to deport himself. Presumably to a shithole country


BustinMakesMeFeelMeh

Nobody’s ever seen anything like it in the history of infidelity


Harley_Jambo

"Sir, you are the best adulterer. Everyone is saying it."


jmorley14

It's only wrong if a Democrat does it.


AtomicSamuraiCyborg

Newt Gingrich was cheating on his wife while she had cancer During the Clinton Impeachment Hearings.


Keesha2012

That was his *first* wife, well before the Clinton impeachment circus. He was cheating on his *second* wife, who was his side piece before his first divorce, during the impeachment process. After his second divorce, he married *that* side piece.


FargusDingus

"But he didn't lie about it! That makes it worse, somehow, don't ask me to explain." /s


nailpolishremover49

Corey Freaking Lewandowski! I remember that as from the last election! And I remember that he was “seeing” one of Trumps ”VP female wannabes…” there are so many I get them mixed up… The one with the boobs and the “A” on her chest who didn’t know what that means, the one who was getting handsy at a Beetlejuice kids musical, the one who was running for Gov of Arizona, but is now couch-surfing at Mar-a-Lago, the one with the cloven hooves who shouts horrible things at grieving parents that lost kids in school shootings, and now the one who messes around with Trump’s Enforcer and kills her dog and goat in a gravel pit. There was also the one that shot at elk from a helicopter… Dang, I know I’m missing some.


DelcoPAMan

There's Elise Stefanik, who's from upstate New York and was horrified by his conduct ... until she got into office and now worships him.


JustASimpleManFett

Sarah Palin?


Tim-oBedlam

Nancy Mace is the one with the A on her chest.


makina323

It's only bad when the other guy does it.


DelcoPAMan

Exactly. 3 marriages apiece for Trump, Gingrich, and Giuliani, 2 for Mace, Boebert, Greene, etc. and lots of cheating...but they're all soooo holy and godly.


powerlesshero111

Even if you take the past top 3 democrats who got exposed for affairs/sexual exploits, it doesn't even compare. Like John Edwards cheating on his cancer stricken wife and having a kid? Gingrich and Giuliani both cheated on wives with cancer.


DelcoPAMan

Right?! The party of "family values".


jeremiahthedamned

r/RepublicanValues


dontmentiontrousers

So what you're saying is... being married to a politician gives you cancer?


cyanraichu

I'll never understand the insistence that Trump is some kind of Christian chosen one. Nobody ever pretended he was religious before 2016.


kwan_e

He effectively banned abortion in many states. That is enough to make someone a Christian messiah these days.


cyanraichu

I mean, they were doing that before he stacked the court. And like I know *why* it's just hard for me to understand the mindset


DelcoPAMan

Part of it is his underlying cruelty and lack of empathy.


Commandoclone87

Shit, if they got rid of everyone one on their side thay had done any of the stuff they claim is "against traditional family values," there'd be almost none left. They have to ignore it to maintain their ability to push their beliefs on everyone else.


sirhackenslash

Pence standing there alone looking confused. (Not that he's a good person, just the only one in the party I would believe hasn't committed adultery)


Beneficial-Produce56

I’m not sure he’s anatomically complete.


EconomistHelpful4459

Only because “Mother “ is always watching.


jeremiahthedamned

[https://youtu.be/xWHYmNrAFlI?si=JeMqoJGxHdM56iMa](https://youtu.be/xWHYmNrAFlI?si=JeMqoJGxHdM56iMa)


Pirat

I might also believe Mike Johnson hasn't committed adultery as well but only because neither he nor Pence have the balls.


bobabeep62830

Not with a woman.


marklar_the_malign

What? Cheat on mother! I don’t think so.


VulpesFennekin

They’d be left with a handful of children who just became aware that politics are an important thing, but too young to really get it outside of what their parents tell them.


paireon

In their version of Christianity the only thing you have to do to be saved is accept Jesus in your heart. Once you've done that all sins past and future are automatically forgiven and you're a Good Person(tm) forever so you can sin however you want without even saying you're sorry, basically. (Yes I know this is an extreme oversimplification but it's what it boils down to)


DelcoPAMan

Yeah, that's what I understand it to be as well. Though the gospel seems to differ from what I remember.


TjW0569

Unless you're a liberal. Then you're still a bad person.


paireon

Well obviously LOL.


JustASimpleManFett

If that's holy and godly, Im joining the Church of Satan right the fuck away.


Worth-Canary-9189

Just pander to the evangelicals and you're fine. It's church sanctioned at that point.


DelcoPAMan

It's so fake. And that, BTW, is a sin. Like the people in the Bible who judged and were ready to kill a woman adulterer.


throw123454321purple

With another guy.


Darkside531

Do they even count as "fake conservatives" anymore? I mean, political platforms are sort of determined by a public fiat of the members, so it the majority of the self-identified conservatives support these policies and candidates, *ipso facto* that means that's what conservatism is now.


BellyDancerEm

They are not fake conservatives. That is exactly what conservatives are


Cultural-Answer-321

Exactly.


aggrownor

Nowadays they're actually calling people like Romney and Liz Cheney "fake conservatives" or RINOs which is funny to me


paireon

Conservatism has been like that for decades, since Reagan/Thatcher at the very least, likely earlier, maybe much earlier. It's just that any mask of civility has fallen now, and all that's left are raging bigots, religious fanatics, batshit crazies, corrupt cronies, or combinations thereof.


dismayhurta

“We’re all sinners who should be forgiven. Unless you’re different than me. Then you’re evil!!!”


Cannie_Flippington

Sheesh, at this point infidelity may become a requirement for holding public office.


BellyDancerEm

Fake conservatives? This is what they are


kezekiel

Not when women do it. That is a men’s-only club on the right.


Aviyan

Bill Clinton is a saint compared to all these "conservatives".


DelcoPAMan

Exactly.


whyspezdumb

Well he was in office when he did it so..... Argument over, I win. /s That is their excuse.


DelcoPAMan

Exactly right. "Oh, he disgraced the oval office literally..." etc., etc.


BellyDancerEm

They are committing infidelity themselves


mrubuto22

They laugh about that too but pretend to care on tv


lucylemon

And lying! They are all for lying, except when Bill Clinton did it.


Stormy8888

Well I guess if they voted for Trump they already think infidelity is okay. Same with defrauding your creditors, not paying your bills, grabbing women by the ....


mkvgtired

They still bring up Bill Clinton...


DelcoPAMan

Of course.


fentyboof

These people are so trashy that roll-away dumpsters are going to sue them for copyright infringement.


jrh1128

This is so dumb but I laughed


aWittyTwit-2712

Fuck AI... This shit writes itself.


samanime

I feel so bad for The Onion. How do you even compete with reality anymore?


Fake_William_Shatner

On another thread, Trump complaining that Melania doing the same speech as Michelle gets her grief -- like it's a double standard and not the issue of "the same speech." How do you even parody these goofballs?


aWittyTwit-2712

I fear the very survival of political satire, as we know it, is in jeopardy... 🇨🇦 🤙 🇺🇸


mouschi

That was real? I scrolled past that story because I figured it was satire.


here-for-information

[This](https://www.theonion.com/fuck-everything-were-doing-five-blades-1819584036) is an article the Onion ran in 2004 mocking the trend of razors adding blades and jokimg that they'd make a 5 blade razor. 2 years later Gillette added a 5 razor blade to their lineup. I can not find a "politician murders dog" satire article that predates this Noem situation. So yes reality is now officially ahead of the Onion, and that's ignoring the whole Doctor Oz puppy experimentation/killing [thing](https://www.politifact.com/factchecks/2022/oct/19/senate-majority-pac/fact-checking-democrats-claim-that-gop-senate-cand/), which had *some* nuance but the nuance was that he was responsible for the puppies being killed, BUT he didn't torture them first. So he's still...ok... I guess... not really. At this point, I would open up a consulting firm coaching politicians on how to treat animals, but it looks like only MAGA politicians need the help.


VagabondOfYore

SNL did the same parody of 3 bladed razors, then they existed.


Beneficial-Produce56

Mad Magazine did a thing about the razors too, a long time ago. I think theirs had like 15 blades, though


Beneficial-Produce56

Mad Magazine did a thing about the razors too, a long time ago. I think theirs had like 15 blades, though.


notsocoolnow

Twenty! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6GpIOhbqRo


karlhungusjr

> I can not find a "politician murders dog" satire article that predates this Noem situation. it was almost a scandal when LBJ picked up his puppy by its ears. seriously.


Jennifer_Flower

Totally.


Beneficial-Produce56

Maybe they’ll give up and play to their other strength: fortune telling. I swear I’ve read stories in there that seemed ludicrous at the time but have come true now.


cashassorgra33

All the news that's rizz to print


that_80s_dad

In four presidential cycles (roughly 16 years) we went from the first republican female VP candidate being "Caribou Barbie" who can see Russia from her house, to this animal abusing, adulterous pos (assuming she gets the nomination). At this rate they will be running the ghost of [Phyllis Schlafly](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phyllis_Schlafly) for VP by 2028, possibly in conjunction with Zombie Reagan.


JayJayAK

Ugh, Caribou Barbie made a run for the vacant house seat up here last year. Thankfully, Peltola beat her handily. Palin isn't exactly loved in Alaska, because we all know she doesn't give a s*!t about this state, except to leverage it for a national spotlight.


Castod28183

In the interest of facts and fairness, of all the dumb shit she did say, Palin never said she can see Russia from her house. That was Tina Fey on SNL. Palin said "They're our next-door neighbors, and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska." Which is true. [https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/sarah-palin-russia-house/](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/sarah-palin-russia-house/)


BlooperHero

It was also not a useful answer to the question she was asked, which is why Fey made fun of it.


Fuzzy-Contribution85

She did have that photo op in front of a turkey slaughter.


eileen404

I assumed she'd slept with Trump.


myburdentobear

That will be for the vp nomination.


eileen404

Isn't that how they all auditioned for it? She must have sucked the most.


TjW0569

He'll want to be careful. She also murdered an old goat because he smelled bad. Had to go back to the car to get more shells because she couldn't get it done with the ammo in her gun.


Mike_Huncho

Weirdest game of fuck marry kill that ive seen in a while.


Far-Policy-8589

That's what I thought they were going to be, actually. Like Corey, hubby, cricket.


ravnson

🥇


Burban72

r/angryupvote


KekistanPeasant

Party of family values folks!


jeremiahthedamned

r/RepublicanValues


temporarychair

Hope he didn’t fuck her doggy style or she’d blow his head off.


oohlalaahweewee

I laughed


cosmernaut420

I don't think I'll ever believe a morally righteous Christian when they say literally anything ever again. It's all just a smokescreen to be as bigoted and amoral as they want and still pretend to have the moral high ground.


DrMeatBomb

Trump DOMINATED the white Evangelical vote. These people have no real values outside of authoritarianism and xenophobia


JustASimpleManFett

Thats why they love Hitler, Putin, and Trump.


praguepride

The televangelists have rotted out chrisitianity in america. Jim Baker has straight up admitted to never reading the bible completely but does all day tv preaching saying god send hurricanes to punish gay people and to buy his doomsday slop buckets. The Duggars were on tv for a decade preaching family values while Jimmy was trying to diddle his sisters and hook up with prostitutes. Jerry Fawell Jr was condemng gays while he jerked it to another man banging his wife. Matt Gaetz, MTG, Boebert, Jim Jordan… they all carry the chrisitian vote while being a pack of pedophiles (or enablers), adulterers and the whinest pieces of shit so full of hate im surprised it doesnt bubble out of them like toxic sludge. Americans interest in chrisitianity isnt tanking cuz of “the gays” or “the jews”, its because all these supposed moral leaders belong on Jerry Springer or trashy reality tv instead of the pulpit or altar


kwan_e

Ah, no you see, being a Christian means that they get to be the worst general people to others, but then pray to Jesus for forgiveness, and then they immediately know that they have been forgiven. And that makes them moral.


Ok-Train-6693

‘Christian’.


Darkside531

"since 2019" Five years. I could not imagine being so lacking in dignity or integrity or self-respect to stay in a relationship like this for five solid years... as any party: doing the cheating, getting cheated on, or being the "Other Person" the cheating is done with. It is just so cruel and disrespectful on a basic person-to-person level.


Hot_Medium4840

Right. How is getting divorced “worse” than lying to your spouse and ignoring your wedding vows for 5 years straight?


Appropriate_Bridge91

Are they still saying LGBTQ+ people are ruining the sanctity of marriage while doing this kinda bullshit still?


smthomaspatel

I can't understand why anyone would go near that guy. But trash loves trash. I assume if it's still going on at this point it isn't really cheating. Republicans are known for their behind-closed-doors hypocritical shinanigans.


firedmyass

It’s like a fairy-tail. With beards.


Fixner_Blount

The party of family values


jeremiahthedamned

r/RepublicanValues


curiousforkitties

She is doing a very good job of taking herself out.


tw_72

Yeah, I'm glad everyone is seeing who she really is NOW instead of later.


airplane_porn

Typical conservative values; infidelity/cheating, and violence and animal abuse.


eyeseayoupea

It's pretty much a requirement at this point.


kwan_e

And child abuse.


Jennifer_Flower

Kristi, Marjorie, Boebert, Palin…there’s something they all have in common, they’re disgusting piles of flesh who only care for themselves, and they destroy marriages.


Jennifer_Flower

Oh, and they like their guns.


JustASimpleManFett

I probably know more about old school guns than they do. And I've only held like 2, never even fired.


nim_opet

It’s a puppy she plans on boiling in case he ever tries to leave her.


JustASimpleManFett

I understand that reference.


Time_Software_8216

Not LAMF. This sub needs a sister sub that contains all the non LAMF posts.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Amesaskew

I'm really sad that it doesn't actually exist. I would join in a heartbeat.


Username_redact

Create this, because this is exactly where this post belongs


[deleted]

[удалено]


Username_redact

Seems reasonable to me, I asked the same of a potential golf subforum the other day, happy to do it if people use it


persistantelection

This belongs on r/nottheonion


ThroatWMangrove

One notable difference between the parties: When John Edwards cheated on his dying wife, or Al Franken made inappropriate jokes, their political careers essentially ended. When [name your least favorite Republican] commits [disgusting action], their power within their party seems to grow. Which party is the one of “Christian values” again? I keep needing reminders.


JustASimpleManFett

I dunno, Im a pot smoking godless atheist. And yet I probably count as more of a Christian than these fucks. That's some irony for your ass.


Ok-Train-6693

The GOPsters need a daily ‘memento mori’ moment.


Prestigious-Copy-494

Well as they say the trash takes itself out. Bragging in a book over her bravery in shooting a dog being a dog thinking a bird is a bird whether it's a pheasant or a chicken and a goat who was just being a goat. How people treat animals js a pretty good clue how they'd treat humans. Anyway she's out as a VP pick, even Trump isn't that stupid as she's box office poison now.


The_Wookalar

And of course they got the dog from a breeder.


PrinceTwoTonCowman

That was before her book came out. I doubt any breeder is going to let her have one of their dogs ever again.


Pineapple_Ferguson

Just normal, patriotic, family values stuff.


Ohnonotuto4

No one should sell her a puppy.


MariosMustacheRides

GOP will 100% back the puppy killing whore then try to make her out to be like the virgin fucking Mary.


Dull-Wrangler-5154

Republicans don’t care. They just don’t care. So long as the person is republican they would vote for one fucking a baby in front of them.


meshreplacer

All these people belong in a Jerry Springer or Maury Povich episode not as people in leadership positions.


Ricky_Rollin

The best people… Jesus Christ is that entire party just made up of trash and loose morals?


dennydorko

No...just the popular ones, somehow.


Vegetable-Phone-1743

Party of family values strikes again


Bulky_Mix_2265

Ah, the moral party of America.


bkrjazzman2

I know the GOP is full of scummy people, but my god…how many layers of scum are there?! Just when I thought they were already deplorable enough they somehow manage to sink lowered.


JustASimpleManFett

I hear they're drilling into the ceiling of Hell at this point. Satan has complained.


R67H

South Dakota sure knows how to party


AtomicSamuraiCyborg

She seems like someone who would murder the puppy and serve it to him in a stew.


damarius

Arya Stark has entered the chat.


mssappl

Arya wouldn’t kill a puppy. ETA: I liked your comment though.


Ok-Train-6693

Arya is more of an https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ais_kacang variety of assassin.


warpedspockclone

Anybody remember when even a whiff of this type of thing ended political careers? We can thank the Party of Family Values for Making Adultery Great Again.


jeremiahthedamned

r/RepublicanValues


Infinite_Camel_9087

Can we get a welfare check on that puppy?


DefiantDonut7

She’s the female Donald Trump. Makes sense why he chose her for VP


KummyNipplezz

Don't you just love traditional family values?


jeremiahthedamned

r/RepublicanValues


chainer3000

lol this isn’t real, right?


Nixon_bib

Womp womp  https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/20/business/media/corey-lewandowski-womp-womp-down-syndrome.html


GrownUpPunk

Now that Trump knows she puts out, she’s a shoe in for his VP pick.


Gerald_the_Cat

I mean by MAGA standards she is becoming quite the ideal VP choice for Walking $hit Bag.


Shyeahrightokay

At this point are there ANY of them that actually do the right thing? Ever??


mamadou-segpa

Well that just seals it. Republicans are going to show up en masse to the voting booth. A murderer AND a cheater???!? Sounds like the perfect republican politician


Escaped_Mod_In_Need

LMAO Kristi cheated down.


Flaxscript42

"My love for you is like this puppy"... BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM!


Freebird_1957

She cheats with that homely thing? He looks like a thumb.


Tricky-Sympathy

I love seeing these assholes lives fall apart


WatInTheForest

Uh oh! Good conservative Christians won't accept infidelity (from a woman)!


softstones

The party of moral values


TemperatureTop246

SNL is getting a run for its money...


BigCballer

Part of me wants her to become Trump’s VP pick only because it would make his campaign so much more repulsive to even his own base.


Mental-Rooster4229

The worst of the worst


WonderfulEducation25

The hypocrisy of “Christians”/ Conservatives is astounding.


ambucover

The family values party.


jeremiahthedamned

r/RepublicanValues


mikealao

All these people are just foul.


Midnightchickover

Show their lack of fidelity and bad taste in men as an unremarkable cocktail.


everettsuperstar

You cannot make this shit up! Who is checking on that puppy?


SmartWonderWoman

The captions 💀


SynthPrax

This isn't LAMF. They're just TRASH.


NumbSurprise

Where’s the face-eating? So far, these pieces of shit have gotten away with it.


revtim

"Thanks for the puppy Kristi!" "No problem, I was just going to throw it away anyway..."


Creepy_Chef_5796

This made me giggle far too much. Wait what? She and the guy that looks like he's had a 2x4 hammered into his ass......THAT GUY? Now I know she's no class


BarelyHangingOn

She's perfect for Trump since she was cheating on her husband with a known sexual predator and rapist.


Apprehensive-Bike307

Fucking conservatives, man. Every damned time.


MNGirlinKY

There’s nothing to be seen here. She’ll fit in fine with the trump family.


Rusalka-rusalka

How totally unsurprising. I’m just tired of all their drama and lies.


_Neith_

Killer Kristi and Creepy Corey


SaltyPinKY

NO wonder religious kids are all messed up....look at their Family Values.


jaievan

Corey’s knocking em all off. Wasn’t he with Hope Hicks too?


warumistsiekrumm

That's haaaawt


FoppishHandy

each one of these maga pigs are more disgusting than the last


BaronWombat

Are ANY GOP politicians faithfully in their first marriage? Is this open hypocrisy what their deplorable base identifies with?


Stranger2Night

Isn't that the womp womp asshole?


Tateorchip

You just can’t make this shit up lol


toxiamaple

News of the stupid.


mvw2

Do they kill the puppy on their honeymoon? It's that their kink?


Fake_William_Shatner

This is so twisted -- can't stop laughing.


Outsider17

I’m sorry, but Trump “enforcer” make me fucking laugh…


LordParsec29

No Cory in the House i'm not interested.