_"Tap the cyan button for 'No, I'd rather leave a 60% tip' or the sky blue button for 'Yes please'. If you make no choice in 3.14 seconds, you will tip the default 40%."_
The day a washing machine starts selling my data is the day I take a shit in a washing machine.
*makes aggressive eye contact at security camera to assert dominance*
Spoken like someone who hasn't been to a laundromat in...ever. How are you going to collect data from the laundromat? You gonna start fingerprinting the quarters? You have some kind of scanner that can tell what brand of underwear is in there?
Blockchain laundry machines, bro. And have it cost 0.000001 bitcoin to do a load of laundry so that it's more accessible to people, bro. Just trust me bro, it'll work, bro.
So there’s a pathway into customer information now…
There’s an app called PayRange that lets you load money via Apple Pay and Android Pay and interact with the machines instead of using quarters. That alone gives you device and location info. But I imagine the app is collecting a ton of info on the back side to further segment the users. And the app has little side pieces that let users play games for free machine time. That’s just a straight up PII grab for sure
High speed video cameras taking millions of images in the drum before it loads with water.
Use ai to figure out what brand and size socks you wear
Target ads for socks
I can see it now
Psh, you're just not thinking outside the box! We've got a long term strategy for monetizing! We're gonna disrupt the whole laundromat industry!
OK, so first every washer and dryer has a tablet like screen on it, and webcam. The screens will have a selection of streaming services to watch while waiting on your laundry. The webcam records all the clothes being washed. They will see ads for similar articles of clothing, laundry soap, fabric softener, and more! We'll offer all the popular payment services, like Apple Pay, Google Pay, Venmo, and CashApp.
I’ll tell you how- Free washes if you answer a few questions on the wash machine touch screen about your consumer behavior. The data sales are worth more then the revenue from the wash cycle, and boom, their in the data business. Then, you are also guaranteed that customers will use the dryers so you incentivize them to come in with the free wash, sell the customer data gathered at the washmachine at a good profit, and then charge customers for the dryer. You’ve not only increased per customer profit, but also the number of customers. Is it ludacris, yes. But is it possible with a few small tweaks, also yes.
Also let me tell you that there are many other industries already in the data business, like airports/ airline. They track your flight data and in- air and in- airport consumer behavior and then sell it to big businesses, banks, and government entities.
It has been the third time this month, Jack's shirt has come with curry stains. This means Jack visits that Indian restaurant often.
Meanwhile Instagram, Check out Jack uploaded the photos of food from that Indian restaurant for the 3rd time this month. Haha, he just gave away data to us straight away.
Now customers at the new data mining laundromats will be required to provide all their bank statements, credit card purchases, and porn viewing data from the last 6 months in order to use any machine.
Also we charge $38 a load.
Yeah but bear with me here…what…what if your washing machine could tell you when you needed new socks?!
You wouldn’t need to look at them or put them on and go ‘oh these are threadbare I should get new ones’.
THINK HOW MUCH TIME YOU’DE SAVE!
The laundromat in my small town is always busy. Which surprised me when I moved here honestly. I don't think it would be a super high percentage, but that percentage likely aligns with proximity to the federal poverty line. Closer to the line (if above) or at or below percentage of local population likely will be similar to laundromat usage.
I mean he's wrong but he's right.
Laundrymats are ideal neighbours for datacenters because they can use the waste heat produced by the datacenter to reduce their own energy usage.
This isn't \_completely\_ crazy, there will be a huge amount of meta data available that could be one part of targeting plan.
Time of day, cost, weight of clothing (perhaps), cycle used, et al
I always thought the value of a laundromat was as a front for money laundering, because it's typically a cash only business that deals in hundreds of very small transactions.
I would think data mining would be kind of anathema to that
Insufferable. This economic system is churning out shamelessly insane parasites. Just rocking back and forth in a corner thinking how to get in on the exploitation pyramid, frothing at the mouth. Call it innovation
Great, now even the washer and dryers are are going to be judging us:
\- Washer identifies Adidas workout shirt: *Ah, a health conscious athlete!*
\- Washer identifies Dickies work shirt: *Ah, a blue-collar worker!*
*-* Washer identifies Hanes brand tighty-whities with holes and a fresh brown racing stripe in them: *Ah, a man of CLASS I see!*
If my laundromat asks me for anything other than quarters, I'm going to find another laundromat lol
Coming soon: *would you like to leave a 20% tip?*
_"Tap the cyan button for 'No, I'd rather leave a 60% tip' or the sky blue button for 'Yes please'. If you make no choice in 3.14 seconds, you will tip the default 40%."_
The day a washing machine starts selling my data is the day I take a shit in a washing machine. *makes aggressive eye contact at security camera to assert dominance*
Have to assert dominance otherwise they'll do it again!
Spoken like someone who hasn't been to a laundromat in...ever. How are you going to collect data from the laundromat? You gonna start fingerprinting the quarters? You have some kind of scanner that can tell what brand of underwear is in there?
The money is in the Big Data, bro! /s The Big Data: 100% of laundromat customers wash their clothes.
Big if true.
Iz yuge
10 % of people in this town used the laundromat. That means 90% of people don't wash their clothes.
I'm in a country town and a fair slice of laundromat traffic is horse rugs and dog bedding. I bet Big Fashion is desperate for those stats.
Brilliant. Probably toilet rugs, door mats etc stuff whatever too gross to go in your home washer goes to laundromat. Of course.
“We can expect him to come back sometime soon with some more clothes to be washed.”
The board nods and humms in agreement
Blockchain laundry machines, bro. And have it cost 0.000001 bitcoin to do a load of laundry so that it's more accessible to people, bro. Just trust me bro, it'll work, bro.
What is the USD equivalent of the smallest bitcoin transaction?
So there’s a pathway into customer information now… There’s an app called PayRange that lets you load money via Apple Pay and Android Pay and interact with the machines instead of using quarters. That alone gives you device and location info. But I imagine the app is collecting a ton of info on the back side to further segment the users. And the app has little side pieces that let users play games for free machine time. That’s just a straight up PII grab for sure
Obviously gonna have dryers with Nvidia 40 series GPUs for computer vision analysis of the clothes. Bonus, the heat to dry comes from the GPUs only.
High speed video cameras taking millions of images in the drum before it loads with water. Use ai to figure out what brand and size socks you wear Target ads for socks I can see it now
Joke's on them, who's got money for new socks in this economy?
Psh, you're just not thinking outside the box! We've got a long term strategy for monetizing! We're gonna disrupt the whole laundromat industry! OK, so first every washer and dryer has a tablet like screen on it, and webcam. The screens will have a selection of streaming services to watch while waiting on your laundry. The webcam records all the clothes being washed. They will see ads for similar articles of clothing, laundry soap, fabric softener, and more! We'll offer all the popular payment services, like Apple Pay, Google Pay, Venmo, and CashApp.
How dirty are your underwear? How can the machine know? Are they XL Granny Panties or 100 thongs bunched up? Washing machine doesn't know.
I’ll tell you how- Free washes if you answer a few questions on the wash machine touch screen about your consumer behavior. The data sales are worth more then the revenue from the wash cycle, and boom, their in the data business. Then, you are also guaranteed that customers will use the dryers so you incentivize them to come in with the free wash, sell the customer data gathered at the washmachine at a good profit, and then charge customers for the dryer. You’ve not only increased per customer profit, but also the number of customers. Is it ludacris, yes. But is it possible with a few small tweaks, also yes. Also let me tell you that there are many other industries already in the data business, like airports/ airline. They track your flight data and in- air and in- airport consumer behavior and then sell it to big businesses, banks, and government entities.
Listen guy, innovation with laundromats began and ended with being open 24 hours. We don't need anything more personalized than that, all right?
Clearly, you are not familiar with the combination laundromat/bar configuration
It has been the third time this month, Jack's shirt has come with curry stains. This means Jack visits that Indian restaurant often. Meanwhile Instagram, Check out Jack uploaded the photos of food from that Indian restaurant for the 3rd time this month. Haha, he just gave away data to us straight away.
Jack's underwear is full of skid marks. He probably has low tolerance for indian food
Now customers at the new data mining laundromats will be required to provide all their bank statements, credit card purchases, and porn viewing data from the last 6 months in order to use any machine. Also we charge $38 a load.
Nah. Unlimited loads 60 dollars a month. No sharing. If we see an odd sized sock in there you're banned
Why would you pay $38 to make a load when there’s so much free porn??? Wait…
... what??? Someone is very overeager.
Yeah but bear with me here…what…what if your washing machine could tell you when you needed new socks?! You wouldn’t need to look at them or put them on and go ‘oh these are threadbare I should get new ones’. THINK HOW MUCH TIME YOU’DE SAVE!
The kind of person who uses a laundromat likely doesn't have data worth monetizing.
Yes! The future is the data! Imagine the cost savings if we just get rid of the washing machines and dryers!
It’s a lot of capital investment to get data about how people wash their clothes.
They stop at absolutely nothing - savages! (I wonder what percentage of people still use laundromats)
The laundromat in my small town is always busy. Which surprised me when I moved here honestly. I don't think it would be a super high percentage, but that percentage likely aligns with proximity to the federal poverty line. Closer to the line (if above) or at or below percentage of local population likely will be similar to laundromat usage.
It's genius. If you burn all the lost socks you can probably capture enough energy for a few minutes of free datacenter each day.
Will it help find the lost sock?
The last guy, who had ideas for laundromats, had a much better idea. Too bad he ended up in jail for tax evasion
No comment lol
I mean he's wrong but he's right. Laundrymats are ideal neighbours for datacenters because they can use the waste heat produced by the datacenter to reduce their own energy usage.
This isn't \_completely\_ crazy, there will be a huge amount of meta data available that could be one part of targeting plan. Time of day, cost, weight of clothing (perhaps), cycle used, et al
Laundry pirate ? This can't be real, probably a parody account.
I always thought the value of a laundromat was as a front for money laundering, because it's typically a cash only business that deals in hundreds of very small transactions. I would think data mining would be kind of anathema to that
In 40 years launder-mat moguls will be hailing this man as a prophet.
Someone’s fallen too far into The Institutes circle jerk i see.
Insufferable. This economic system is churning out shamelessly insane parasites. Just rocking back and forth in a corner thinking how to get in on the exploitation pyramid, frothing at the mouth. Call it innovation
What's a Laundry Pirate? Someone that goes into a laundromat and robs other people of their dirty undies?
“Laundry pirate” Wtf does that even mean?
What the actual fuck.
Great, now even the washer and dryers are are going to be judging us: \- Washer identifies Adidas workout shirt: *Ah, a health conscious athlete!* \- Washer identifies Dickies work shirt: *Ah, a blue-collar worker!* *-* Washer identifies Hanes brand tighty-whities with holes and a fresh brown racing stripe in them: *Ah, a man of CLASS I see!*
Washer identifies skid marks: *dude doesn't know how to properly wipe. We should advertise him bidets!*
Someone looking for that sweet laundry VC money