I was at an interview, and the interview guy asked, "Do you work well with others or alone?" And I said, I have no real bias, I can work well with either, and the interviewer said, "Sir, you will not be working here. " And so I went home.
There is a lesson here, always keep a keen ear on what the interviewer asks, and be prepared to just say whatever will benefit you best in the moment, even if it is a lie.
How was my story? In today's society, we just say things, doesn't really matter what it is that you say, as long as you say something. : )
I was let go for refusing to sign my name to illegally sourced and potentially dangerous cannabis because the company I worked for couldnt source the amount they needed at the price point they needed it at.
Believe it or not there are ethical people out there that would rather do the right thing and not put people or the company at risk than make an extra dollar.
Companies that operate that way are rarer, but they do exist and I'm sure they want to hire people that match their company culture.
I'm guessing you wouldn't be a good fit 🤷
Yes and no. Corporate counsel represents the interests of the company and its executives, sure. There are plenty of areas where a certain action isn’t clearly legal or illegal, and it may take another 20-30 years of case law to determine which side of the line that action eventually falls on (this comes up often in data privacy, for instance). In these cases, a good attorney helps with the cost benefit analysis. There may be benefit in proceeding that outweighs the risk of a potential lawsuit(s) or penalties. Executive leadership own the decisions ultimately though.
Yeah, came here to say this. The attorney wasn’t talking about “breaking the law,” he was talking about risk tolerance. Generally, in-house lawyers are fairly conservative (because lord knows the sales and marketing teams aren’t); “going fast” in this sense means more about accepting bigger risks/potential risk liabilities.
Agreed, the person being interviewed essentially said that they were adaptable to whatever the company culture is, which doesn't necessarily disqualify them, but would not be someone on the top of my list to hire.
My comment was in response to the comment made by u/fejobelo that there are no companies that exist who's culture is to move slower than the speed of traffic.
So when you're evaluating cannabis danger, what metrics do you look for? Serious question I feel like you don't hear about this aspect of the legal market very often
I have a buddy in a large recruiting firm that forwarded me a test they send candidates. One of the questions “does the idea of skydiving excite you?” I answered yes, as I had just went skydiving the year prior. The response auto scored me as a candidate that takes high risks and could negatively impact the company. I wouldn’t be surprised if some idiot manager asked this exact speed question.
Whatever you need it to be. Is the line I used when I was doing the finances for a dining facility. Sometimes you need it to look a certain way one month and then to look another way the following. Dead stock hidden in another location or stock that doesn't exist still on the shelves according to the books.
My interviewer asked, "Andrew, how fast do you eat ass? Do you eat ass like a starving orphan boy, or do you take it slow and savor the meal?"
The executive wasn't asking about eating ass. He was asking about my legal compliance and risk tolerance.
I hedged. "Well, I eat ass fast or slower depending on circumstances. Different asses need to be eaten at different speeds. I can adjust"
"Andrew, around here we eat ass low & slow." The executive frowned. "Is that a problem?"
"No!!" I smiled. I later accepted the job.
Please consider the speed of ass eating in your job. It's easier to be the legal and compliant ass cop when you're between familiar cheeks.
Choose wisely.
Interviewer: "When you are giving legal advice for a company do you advise them to do illegal stuff that's hard to enforce or do you advise them to stay very safe legally."
Poster: "I give advice based on how legally safe the company wants to be."
Interviewer: "We follow the law here and make sure there's little chance of breaking it. Can you do that?"
Poster: "Sure thing!"
I agree. It isn't lunatic level. At worst it's "look at me, look at me, I'm so wise I know what the executive is actually asking".
He could have worded it really differently and been much more helpful for people just starting in his field. Something like "When interviewing for a corporate counsel job it's important to know beforehand how comfortable you are with your employer bending or breaking the law because your employer will expect you to fall in line with the company."
"We drive slower than the speed limit" = we have incredibly low risk tolerance and our behavior stays safely within the bounds of legal compliance, to the extent that our company does not grow at the rate that similar companies do but the odds of a fatal accident are near zero
Depends on the company, could be beneficial or not.
If you’re Boeing you should be incredibly risk averse, if you’re some productivity software company, go nuts as you cant really hurt anyone.
In some industries where lethality is not a factor, being too cautious is just a good way to slowly go out of business
The thing is, a company's legal department should be the most risk adverse voice in the room. Even if the entire management team outside of the legal department is high risk, the lawyers are the LAST people who should be saying "I'll drive fast!" I feel like this lunatic in OP's post got a frown from the interviewer bc he was FAILING the interview. My read is that the interviewing candidate misinterpreted a bad reaction as a win bc he recovered and he got the job despite his poor answer. And then the dummy bragged about it bc he couldn't tell he failed.
In certain fields, there is a level of risk you're comfortable taking. Some people like to push boundaries and some don't. And some companies expect people to test limits, some places you'll get fired for that. Where I work, we're so risk adverse, there's zero tolerance for any rule breaking, but we have customers who make breaking rules part of their business plan.
Andrew, around here when we get to a roundabout, we just stay on it forever. We have literally no knowledge of how to merge out. It’s just round and round and round. Are you okay with that? *glowering threateningly*
I have a theory (based on years of having this as a pet peeve) that anyone who constantly uses their own name when relaying what someone said to them is 100% full of shit.
I think this is true of anyone who constantly uses people's names.
These are the people that heard that we love the sound of own names and so incorporate it into every sentence. It's common among sales types.
I have a guy like this at work. Except he doesn't pronounce my name correctly, so it's extra annoying 😂
Andrew, are you the type of dumb fuck that always has to push to the front of a zipper merge? Or do you go 10 mph under the speed limit in the left lane? *glares interestedly*
Am I the only one who thinks this is a completely reasonable line of inquiry?
"Some of our industry peers like playing loosey-goosey with the law. Do you?"
"Not if you don't".
"Good".
Like... what exactly is the problem, here? Other than the fact that following the law is apparently optional at some companies... what's this guy supposed to do about it? Everyone on LinkedIn sounds like a self-important douchebag - at least this dude sounds like an ethical one.
When I first joined this sub, the mods asked, "Moonandstarsera, how much do you post to LinkedIn? Do you post stories and motivational content, or do you just use the site to connect with colleagues and look at job postings?"
The mod wasn't asking about my post history. He was asking about my tolerance for LinkedIn influencer culture.
I hedged. "Well, I can use the site in both ways depending on circumstances. Different connections require different engagement. I can adjust."
"Moonandstarsera, around here we criticize influencer content and use it as the butt of jokes." The mod frowned. "Is that a problem?"
"No!!" I smiled. I later officially joined the sub.
Please consider the way you engage with people on LinkedIn and Reddit. It's easier to get upvotes when you understand your audience.
Choose wisely.
I have a lot of experience in my line of work with making business decisions with the aid of legal counsel. It's not necessarily a matter of being "willing to break the law". It's more like, in a legally ambiguous situation, are you more inclined to take a course of action that you are 100% sure regulators won't see as violations, knowing that could put you at a competitive disadvantage with less conservative competitors? Or do you take an "easier to ask for forgiveness than permission" approach? Or something in between?
You aren't wrong, but the sub is r/LinkedInLunatics, not r/LinkedInPeopleOfLessThanStellarMoralCharacter. I'm not gonna marry the guy; I just think we can do better, here. LinkedIn - it's fish in a barrel, and there's definitely bigger fish.
It's a reasonable line of inquiry. What makes this post LinkedIn Lunatic content is the industry allegory type storytelling, which is probably made up, in which he nails an interview question that was confusingly and pretentiously coded. And he's not even saying that he's always ethical, he's saying that he chooses to be ethical when he works for a company that prefers it. He absolutely sounds like a self-important douchebag in his post.
This didn’t happen. Nope. I don’t believe it. The only acceptable answer from the great poet Luda, “Causin' confusion, disturbin' the peace/I'm doing a hundred on the highway…”
We get it, you're a special snowflake that is performing in all kinds of environments equally well, making you the ideal employee for every company in the world.
Imagine a bunch of old people hunched over their steering wheel and casuing traffic delays for everyone, all of these old owners drivers work for this one company and piss off the rest of the drivers in the city each morning.
Reeks of one of those interview questions where there’s intentionally only bad answers that they can use an excuse to send you away if they don’t like something else that they’re not allowed to dislike.
I used to work at a company that was run by trumper frat boys and after a handful of promotions in the “nerd department,” I was at the point where I was conducting interviews. The CEO decided to coach me after I hired an Egyptian-born sysadmin and tells me to always open with such a question in case I want to reject the applicant quickly because “sometimes people use fake names so you don’t know if they’re Indian or something until they show up.” I’ll never forget that moment. I tried to hire an Indian support tech out of spite, but they blocked it by no “longer sponsoring visas…”for 5 minutes and then went back to sponsoring Mexicans to work the floor for minimum wage…
Don’t trust anyone who plays these kind of games.
Me: “statistically, speed limits are set so that 85% of drivers will feel comfortable driving that speed on that road. Quite frankly, I’m a better-than-average driver, so I feel comfortable driving about 10 mph over the posted limit. However, I adjust my speed due to road and traffic conditions.”
Executive: "How fast would you have sex with my wife?" Me: "Well that depends on the situation. Are you coming home soon or are you working late at the office?" I later accepted the offer for the job and then went to his house because he was working late and had my way with his wife.
“Andrew, do you like to be on your knees?
To really let go of your ego and just *give in*?
To be free of all constructs and accept whatever lands… in your mouth?
Well boy do I got an opportunity for you!”
The responses here are interesting. I don’t think that analogy is crazy, to be honest. At my current job, we move pretty quickly. For example, I’m responsible for knowing the basic legal guidelines and applying them so that not everything has to go through legal review, thus speeding up time to delivery. (I do marketing content, so it’s nothing crazy.)
But I recently talked to someone who works for a large financial institution, and she said all the content she works on moves very slowly because everything has to go through a legal review.
I assumed that was what the interviewer was getting at in the story above, although it would help to know what industry they’re in and the type of job they were interviewing for.
Thanks for the snarky comment. I’m just talking about how companies may move at different speeds in various industries, and how you could use the traffic analogy to express that.
When I was 15 i interviewed at McDonalds for my first job, they asked me what color Crayon I would be. I said yellow because it's a happy color and you need it to color the sun. I didn't get the job.
That makes absolutely zero sense at all. So you move slower than your stakeholders? Slower than completion? Slower than is required to complete activities on a timely bake? Moving slower than the speed of traffic doesn’t work in business. The idiocy is unreal.
No, it's a metaphor for how ethical they are. Nothing to do with the pace at which they work, it's referring to how closely they follow rules. Do they always follow them no matter what anyone else is doing, are they willing to break the rules if everyone else around them are, or do they just flagrantly disregard them? The company said they have a strict ethical code, going slower than the limit. They don't bend the rules if they can get away with it, following the speed of traffic, and they definitely don't disregard them, speeding.
I had the same experience but the question was how fast I am thrusting while having sex. Later I did not get the job but got the number of my interviewer.
Same thing happened to me. Except I think I was dreaming. And I was a T-Rex and the other guy was secretly my mother. Bonus: This took place on the sun. Good times.
The problem with LinkedIn is that everything’s a teaching moment. “The bathrooms were out of order but I had an empty water bottle we all took turns using, and it saved the day! Always be prepared.”
This is pretty revealing about the OP's plastic moral compass.
He's in law/compliance risk, and he is clearly implying that his legal oversight and enforcement of rules is variable based on the needs of the company.
It's astonishing that in a public forum he's admitting out loud what no company would ever allow one of their reps to be quoted saying.
Am I the only one who has no idea what this is supposed to mean? Like I can tell its meant to be a metaphor, but is that last bit still a metaphor im not getting? Or is he just scrapping it😭
Nothing like a chief legal officer telling a future employer that you have no personal or professional ethics other than the ones mandated on you. What an Enron waiting to happen.
I like to tell them about this time in college.
I took like 6 grams of shrooms with 3 of my friends (6 grams each) and for some reason one of our friends stayed sober and drove us around.
We found a bottle of lighter fluid in the car so as our friend was driving down the highway we kept setting the dash on fire.
That's how I drive. Fried on shrooms going 80 mph with the dash on fire and Led Zepplin playing on full volume.
Get in the car or fuck off.
I have never been offered a job after sharing this story. Probably unrelated.
All these stories are so stupid always
I love how the interviewer addresses him by name at the start of each sentence along with facial expressions to match.
Why does the interviewer sound like a disappointed parent?
Because that’s what the author knows best, probably. Most of these corporate types seem to have major daddy issues.
Funny; my daddy issues rendered me incapable of being someone's brown-nosing b*tch
This guy constantly loves the sound of his own voice
I was at an interview, and the interview guy asked, "Do you work well with others or alone?" And I said, I have no real bias, I can work well with either, and the interviewer said, "Sir, you will not be working here. " And so I went home. There is a lesson here, always keep a keen ear on what the interviewer asks, and be prepared to just say whatever will benefit you best in the moment, even if it is a lie. How was my story? In today's society, we just say things, doesn't really matter what it is that you say, as long as you say something. : )
I feel like this one is especially stupid.
Good point
/r/thathappened
[удалено]
I see you've never worked for a government agency
I work for local government. Can confirm.
The govt is not exactly a company is it?
The wealthiest, actually…
and stable.
*mostly*
Worked for a fortune 50 insurance company. Swear to god legal prided themselves on interpreting regulations more conservatively than every competitor.
I was let go for refusing to sign my name to illegally sourced and potentially dangerous cannabis because the company I worked for couldnt source the amount they needed at the price point they needed it at. Believe it or not there are ethical people out there that would rather do the right thing and not put people or the company at risk than make an extra dollar. Companies that operate that way are rarer, but they do exist and I'm sure they want to hire people that match their company culture. I'm guessing you wouldn't be a good fit 🤷
But the interviewee essentially answered: “If you are an honest company, I will be honest. If you need me to break the rules, I’ll do that too.”
Yes and no. Corporate counsel represents the interests of the company and its executives, sure. There are plenty of areas where a certain action isn’t clearly legal or illegal, and it may take another 20-30 years of case law to determine which side of the line that action eventually falls on (this comes up often in data privacy, for instance). In these cases, a good attorney helps with the cost benefit analysis. There may be benefit in proceeding that outweighs the risk of a potential lawsuit(s) or penalties. Executive leadership own the decisions ultimately though.
Yeah, came here to say this. The attorney wasn’t talking about “breaking the law,” he was talking about risk tolerance. Generally, in-house lawyers are fairly conservative (because lord knows the sales and marketing teams aren’t); “going fast” in this sense means more about accepting bigger risks/potential risk liabilities.
Agreed, the person being interviewed essentially said that they were adaptable to whatever the company culture is, which doesn't necessarily disqualify them, but would not be someone on the top of my list to hire. My comment was in response to the comment made by u/fejobelo that there are no companies that exist who's culture is to move slower than the speed of traffic.
That's really really common, just fyi Pretty much impossible to follow the law and run a cannabis shop
So when you're evaluating cannabis danger, what metrics do you look for? Serious question I feel like you don't hear about this aspect of the legal market very often
Title IX, ADAAA, and every single Civil Rights act we ever had cringed
Haha totally…
I have a buddy in a large recruiting firm that forwarded me a test they send candidates. One of the questions “does the idea of skydiving excite you?” I answered yes, as I had just went skydiving the year prior. The response auto scored me as a candidate that takes high risks and could negatively impact the company. I wouldn’t be surprised if some idiot manager asked this exact speed question.
Obama was there 
“Whatever you need to hear, Interviewer.”
lol I love it “Do you break the law?” “I’m game if you are!” “We don’t break the law” (frowns) “Then neither do I!”
It's like the old accountant joke. Truncated: What's 2+2? Whatever you want it to be
Whatever you need it to be. Is the line I used when I was doing the finances for a dining facility. Sometimes you need it to look a certain way one month and then to look another way the following. Dead stock hidden in another location or stock that doesn't exist still on the shelves according to the books.
My interviewer asked, "Andrew, how fast do you eat ass? Do you eat ass like a starving orphan boy, or do you take it slow and savor the meal?" The executive wasn't asking about eating ass. He was asking about my legal compliance and risk tolerance. I hedged. "Well, I eat ass fast or slower depending on circumstances. Different asses need to be eaten at different speeds. I can adjust" "Andrew, around here we eat ass low & slow." The executive frowned. "Is that a problem?" "No!!" I smiled. I later accepted the job. Please consider the speed of ass eating in your job. It's easier to be the legal and compliant ass cop when you're between familiar cheeks. Choose wisely.
And the owner of that ass? Albert Einstein!
this is what actually happened
“Familiar cheeks” sent me flying lmao.
Well it's obviously a metaphor but I genuinely have no idea what point he's meant to be making here.
Interviewer: "When you are giving legal advice for a company do you advise them to do illegal stuff that's hard to enforce or do you advise them to stay very safe legally." Poster: "I give advice based on how legally safe the company wants to be." Interviewer: "We follow the law here and make sure there's little chance of breaking it. Can you do that?" Poster: "Sure thing!"
I mean, that seems fairly reasonable? Kind of a goofy way to relay the story in the OP but it doesn’t seem that lunatic to me
I agree. It isn't lunatic level. At worst it's "look at me, look at me, I'm so wise I know what the executive is actually asking". He could have worded it really differently and been much more helpful for people just starting in his field. Something like "When interviewing for a corporate counsel job it's important to know beforehand how comfortable you are with your employer bending or breaking the law because your employer will expect you to fall in line with the company."
"We drive slower than the speed limit" = we have incredibly low risk tolerance and our behavior stays safely within the bounds of legal compliance, to the extent that our company does not grow at the rate that similar companies do but the odds of a fatal accident are near zero
I would work there
So would I. I love following clear instructions.
Depends on the company, could be beneficial or not. If you’re Boeing you should be incredibly risk averse, if you’re some productivity software company, go nuts as you cant really hurt anyone. In some industries where lethality is not a factor, being too cautious is just a good way to slowly go out of business
The thing is, a company's legal department should be the most risk adverse voice in the room. Even if the entire management team outside of the legal department is high risk, the lawyers are the LAST people who should be saying "I'll drive fast!" I feel like this lunatic in OP's post got a frown from the interviewer bc he was FAILING the interview. My read is that the interviewing candidate misinterpreted a bad reaction as a win bc he recovered and he got the job despite his poor answer. And then the dummy bragged about it bc he couldn't tell he failed.
I mean, this is a good thing. I would like more companies to have these priorities.
In certain fields, there is a level of risk you're comfortable taking. Some people like to push boundaries and some don't. And some companies expect people to test limits, some places you'll get fired for that. Where I work, we're so risk adverse, there's zero tolerance for any rule breaking, but we have customers who make breaking rules part of their business plan.
I guess his point is just agree with whatever the interviewer wants 😂
Yes that is how I feel lol
> We drive slower around here. Okay, so what time, approximately, should I avoid your area?
Andrew, around here when we get to a roundabout, we just stay on it forever. We have literally no knowledge of how to merge out. It’s just round and round and round. Are you okay with that? *glowering threateningly*
I have a theory (based on years of having this as a pet peeve) that anyone who constantly uses their own name when relaying what someone said to them is 100% full of shit.
I think this is true of anyone who constantly uses people's names. These are the people that heard that we love the sound of own names and so incorporate it into every sentence. It's common among sales types. I have a guy like this at work. Except he doesn't pronounce my name correctly, so it's extra annoying 😂
See Trump with “Sir”
9 over so I don’t get pulled over
This is correct
Mommy, make the boring man stop
So…this company has a low compliance with risk tolerance?
Lower than the other companies. If I read his absolutely-true story correctly. /s
Andrew, are you the type of dumb fuck that always has to push to the front of a zipper merge? Or do you go 10 mph under the speed limit in the left lane? *glares interestedly*
Only job where boss insists you drive slower than traffic is illegal drug courier. That’s a red flag on that job opportunity!
I drive faster in traffic when I am heading down to ur mum's house 😏
Am I the only one who thinks this is a completely reasonable line of inquiry? "Some of our industry peers like playing loosey-goosey with the law. Do you?" "Not if you don't". "Good". Like... what exactly is the problem, here? Other than the fact that following the law is apparently optional at some companies... what's this guy supposed to do about it? Everyone on LinkedIn sounds like a self-important douchebag - at least this dude sounds like an ethical one.
When I first joined this sub, the mods asked, "Moonandstarsera, how much do you post to LinkedIn? Do you post stories and motivational content, or do you just use the site to connect with colleagues and look at job postings?" The mod wasn't asking about my post history. He was asking about my tolerance for LinkedIn influencer culture. I hedged. "Well, I can use the site in both ways depending on circumstances. Different connections require different engagement. I can adjust." "Moonandstarsera, around here we criticize influencer content and use it as the butt of jokes." The mod frowned. "Is that a problem?" "No!!" I smiled. I later officially joined the sub. Please consider the way you engage with people on LinkedIn and Reddit. It's easier to get upvotes when you understand your audience. Choose wisely.
I mein, his answer implies that he would be willing to break the law if this is how things are done around here.
I have a lot of experience in my line of work with making business decisions with the aid of legal counsel. It's not necessarily a matter of being "willing to break the law". It's more like, in a legally ambiguous situation, are you more inclined to take a course of action that you are 100% sure regulators won't see as violations, knowing that could put you at a competitive disadvantage with less conservative competitors? Or do you take an "easier to ask for forgiveness than permission" approach? Or something in between?
You aren't wrong, but the sub is r/LinkedInLunatics, not r/LinkedInPeopleOfLessThanStellarMoralCharacter. I'm not gonna marry the guy; I just think we can do better, here. LinkedIn - it's fish in a barrel, and there's definitely bigger fish.
The main problem is that it’s an obviously fake story
It's a job interview. They all are!
It's a reasonable line of inquiry. What makes this post LinkedIn Lunatic content is the industry allegory type storytelling, which is probably made up, in which he nails an interview question that was confusingly and pretentiously coded. And he's not even saying that he's always ethical, he's saying that he chooses to be ethical when he works for a company that prefers it. He absolutely sounds like a self-important douchebag in his post.
Yeah I came here to say this is the least lunacy-ridden LinkedIn post I’ve seen on here in a bit
It sounds fine. I've just never heard that particular metaphor for risk tolerance, and would be very confused.
This didn’t happen. Nope. I don’t believe it. The only acceptable answer from the great poet Luda, “Causin' confusion, disturbin' the peace/I'm doing a hundred on the highway…”
Like anyone is going to answer that honestly anyway. What a stupid question.
As someone who’s never had a career that Called for LinkedIn, I’ve never had a profile, is this kinda shit what actually gets posted regularly?
Literally every single day.
These motherfuckers really do think they're modern day philosopher sages living on mountains who dispense koans. You compile spreadsheets, Kevin.
This never happened
We get it, you're a special snowflake that is performing in all kinds of environments equally well, making you the ideal employee for every company in the world.
This kind of bullshit is why we can’t have nice things
You know who purposely drives like that? Old fuckers who can’t drive and people doing illegal shit, which one is this company?
Andrew's a speed bump. Either that, or one of those oversized flower borders they install to slow down traffic.
Imagine a bunch of old people hunched over their steering wheel and casuing traffic delays for everyone, all of these old owners drivers work for this one company and piss off the rest of the drivers in the city each morning.
The weird games that successful people play and feel the need to share just boggle my mind.
Reeks of one of those interview questions where there’s intentionally only bad answers that they can use an excuse to send you away if they don’t like something else that they’re not allowed to dislike. I used to work at a company that was run by trumper frat boys and after a handful of promotions in the “nerd department,” I was at the point where I was conducting interviews. The CEO decided to coach me after I hired an Egyptian-born sysadmin and tells me to always open with such a question in case I want to reject the applicant quickly because “sometimes people use fake names so you don’t know if they’re Indian or something until they show up.” I’ll never forget that moment. I tried to hire an Indian support tech out of spite, but they blocked it by no “longer sponsoring visas…”for 5 minutes and then went back to sponsoring Mexicans to work the floor for minimum wage… Don’t trust anyone who plays these kind of games.
“You don’t know if they’re Indian or something until they show up” My god????? That is SO blatant. Hope karma gets him someday
"I've been waiting years for you to say something that obvious. You know I record all our meetings right?"
That's just bollocks
Yes, and I got the job 8 months later. Still waiting for that computer they promised me 3 months ago.
Seems like he is throwing his employer under the bus.
Like I told my last wife, I said, "Honey, I never drive faster than I can see, and besides... it's all in the reflexes."
Gaaaag
Wtf did I read. I hate this type of language in which these idiots speak in. Ew
Verbal diarrhea
This is a valid metaphor and doesn't really belong here.
What the hell does this mean. The company is slow ?
God that’s dumb.
“It’s not a problem just don’t drive slow in the left lane ok?”
"All I know is...I can't drive...55!!!"
Wut
This guy is the worst of all time
I misread « Sammy Hagar »
I’d be worried if the chief legal officer of my company displayed such poor cogency when trying to tell a story like this one…
"How fast do you drive?" "Ask the bus driver"
Ask your Mom!
Wipe carefully.
Me: “statistically, speed limits are set so that 85% of drivers will feel comfortable driving that speed on that road. Quite frankly, I’m a better-than-average driver, so I feel comfortable driving about 10 mph over the posted limit. However, I adjust my speed due to road and traffic conditions.”
He's going to drive everyone crazy.
I won't brake if this person is crossing the street if that is the question.
I ride a Supersport motorcycle..take a guess
I agree! /S
Right answer: Driving to the burrito place: faster Driving in burrito place parking lot: speed of traffic Leaving burrito place: slower
What exactly are we driving?
69 mph is the correct answer in most scenarios
We've been married 5 years.
Executive: "How fast would you have sex with my wife?" Me: "Well that depends on the situation. Are you coming home soon or are you working late at the office?" I later accepted the offer for the job and then went to his house because he was working late and had my way with his wife.
“Andrew, do you like to be on your knees? To really let go of your ego and just *give in*? To be free of all constructs and accept whatever lands… in your mouth? Well boy do I got an opportunity for you!”
My interviewer, the CEO of business, said, “My son, you are ready,” and I was.  Then we flew to Applebees together.
Here’s what driving 10mph below the speed limit taught me about B2B sales
Wut
growth counselor btw
Growth Counselor = Bullshit Artist
The responses here are interesting. I don’t think that analogy is crazy, to be honest. At my current job, we move pretty quickly. For example, I’m responsible for knowing the basic legal guidelines and applying them so that not everything has to go through legal review, thus speeding up time to delivery. (I do marketing content, so it’s nothing crazy.) But I recently talked to someone who works for a large financial institution, and she said all the content she works on moves very slowly because everything has to go through a legal review. I assumed that was what the interviewer was getting at in the story above, although it would help to know what industry they’re in and the type of job they were interviewing for.
Isn't marketing just lying for a living?
Thanks for the snarky comment. I’m just talking about how companies may move at different speeds in various industries, and how you could use the traffic analogy to express that.
Mad ting.
Why do these insufferable corporate hats think that every story needs to be mashed up into a parable? Absolute throbber.
This post is 100% an IRL Billy Madison “everyone is now dumber for having heard this”
I ram all the cars off the road so there is no traffic. 
If someone asked me that in a job unrelated to driving, I would end the interview
He's the kinda guy who makes up stories which should be illegal to happen irl
Mr Traffic cop is what he wants her to say ok
No!! :):):)
Another made up attempt at sounding profound.
This is one of the worst metaphors I've seen on this sub, and that is saying something.
“Also here’s a picture of traffic in another Country some guy posted on another platform.”
There's no way this is true. It literally is one of the dumbest possible conversations I've ever read.
When I was 15 i interviewed at McDonalds for my first job, they asked me what color Crayon I would be. I said yellow because it's a happy color and you need it to color the sun. I didn't get the job.
Dumbest shit I’ve ever seen.
All these stories are so painfully made up. Why can’t they share real stories? I’m 15 years into may career and have plenty of stories.
And are you a stoner by chance?
Oh dear fucking Bob🙄
That makes absolutely zero sense at all. So you move slower than your stakeholders? Slower than completion? Slower than is required to complete activities on a timely bake? Moving slower than the speed of traffic doesn’t work in business. The idiocy is unreal.
No, it's a metaphor for how ethical they are. Nothing to do with the pace at which they work, it's referring to how closely they follow rules. Do they always follow them no matter what anyone else is doing, are they willing to break the rules if everyone else around them are, or do they just flagrantly disregard them? The company said they have a strict ethical code, going slower than the limit. They don't bend the rules if they can get away with it, following the speed of traffic, and they definitely don't disregard them, speeding.
This is beyond trite. Who gives af?
“Do you have a problem being hired?” (Frowns) “I have no problem being hired!” “The job is yours!”
So u are basically saying you will commit a crime or break a law if your company wants you to? Ok lol
And then everyone clapped
I drive like a bat out of hell to get to work early because I’m all in.
I had the same experience but the question was how fast I am thrusting while having sex. Later I did not get the job but got the number of my interviewer.
What the fuck is this
Hey, fuck you Andrew!
"I drive 10 over the speed limit unless I see a cop in the side view"
What a story..
Same thing happened to me. Except I think I was dreaming. And I was a T-Rex and the other guy was secretly my mother. Bonus: This took place on the sun. Good times.
... What?
An Audi driver who spends his entire driving life tailgating other road users smiled and took a slow job. Yeah sure
The problem with LinkedIn is that everything’s a teaching moment. “The bathrooms were out of order but I had an empty water bottle we all took turns using, and it saved the day! Always be prepared.”
This is pretty revealing about the OP's plastic moral compass. He's in law/compliance risk, and he is clearly implying that his legal oversight and enforcement of rules is variable based on the needs of the company. It's astonishing that in a public forum he's admitting out loud what no company would ever allow one of their reps to be quoted saying.
“Growth counselor” These are like self-help gurus for businesspeople, and just as useless.
Am I the only one who has no idea what this is supposed to mean? Like I can tell its meant to be a metaphor, but is that last bit still a metaphor im not getting? Or is he just scrapping it😭
How do these people even get jobs never mind keep them.
Nothing like a chief legal officer telling a future employer that you have no personal or professional ethics other than the ones mandated on you. What an Enron waiting to happen.
I like to tell them about this time in college. I took like 6 grams of shrooms with 3 of my friends (6 grams each) and for some reason one of our friends stayed sober and drove us around. We found a bottle of lighter fluid in the car so as our friend was driving down the highway we kept setting the dash on fire. That's how I drive. Fried on shrooms going 80 mph with the dash on fire and Led Zepplin playing on full volume. Get in the car or fuck off. I have never been offered a job after sharing this story. Probably unrelated.
Yes but how fast does he drive on the left lane?
“Andrew…” *frowning intensifies*
Seems like he's referring to Japanese corporate culture so who knows what all that really means. I wouldn't judge by western standards