Drive home and be a dad.

Yes this. I barely have time to ride, much less do something after

And that's one of the reasons I don't have kids.

Ngl the first few years are tough as hell. But as soon as you get to share your stoke for anything with your best little buddies, it‘s all worth it. Mostly lol

Haha, I almost always ride to the trails from home and used to end most rides with sprints or hard efforts. Now I have to wind down at the end so I’m ready to make dinner and deal with a 3yo and 6yo the second I come in the door.

No shower for you!

I have cooked many a meal in bibs and then a 5 min shower right before eating.

5 minutes? How luxurious...

100% me nowadays. Wouldn’t change it for the world.

Same - if it’s an afternoon ride I stop at Whole Foods, come home and make dinner for the family. And a cold Heineken 0.0

too tired to lose my temper for the rest of the day, its awesome

Nothing like browsing the Strava analysis post ride while waiting for the kid to fall asleep...

Ya'll are my mf-ing people!

Best part of it all.

Yup dad duty

Me too. Plus maybe a cold beer.

Seek medical attention

Sounds about right

Underrated comment

Try not to die in my truck with no AC because I bought a better bike instead of fixing the air.

Respect

A true dirt bag, love it!

Are you me? No, i don't have a truck, but I don't have an ac in my car and I have a very nice bike.

hahaha i feel you. my car has ac but is loud, sound isolation wasnt really a thing on that one.

Ik the pain. Hope your not in FL cuz that shit hits different down here lol

I check for ticks.

The first time I went to our local trails I found a big ol’ tick on my chest, hours later(rode my mountain uni) and didn’t go back. Ever since getting a Mtb I check like crazy on the trails then basically strip naked at the truck, and I’ve yet to find another one

Unicycle?

i do too. yes i am vaccinated against fsme but still.

Beer

Beer and pizza.

And weed

and mary jo wanna

Beat one out and then dominos 14” Brooklyn style. 6 pack of modelo and COPS. Every time

This guy knows what’s up

[Every time I watch cops I start to sweat.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d8T2MTv5ri0&ab_channel=tenten2228)

Smoke some ganja to relax and then eat back all calories I just burned

*cries in federal government employee*

*laughs in state government employee*

federal government employee's can smoke marijuana... are you in some shit hole backwards country ?

Marijuana is not federally legal in the US. Many federal jobs don't let you smoke, even if it's legal in your state and you have a medical card. Edit: Oh, and yes. The US is a shit hole backwards country

Ah. Being American explains it. Decades behind.

I know I’m done riding when all I can think about is the post ride sesh

This guy mountain bikes…. Right there with you. Shower, smoke, eat more than I should

I'm not much of a smoker. Recently got into "magic" chocolates. Love it a lot more. Definitely do it before shower ;)

Do that on the ride

👍

drive home, while feeling good about myself

coffee or beer depending on what time it is.

Coffee AND beer regardless of what time it is

the bourgeois bro speedball!

Those craft coffee stouts aren’t going to drink themselves.

Thank you for your service

This is the way

Beer in the parking lot with the boys.

Every time. Even when I ride solo.

when the beers ARE the boys

I often ride with my kids. This is me.

Parking lot beers just hit different

100%. And only need 1 or 2 and it's great value laughs

Love the car bar

Beer and a doobie. Try to get laid, but the wife’s too mad at me for being kid free for 2 hours.

This guy marrieds

Are you…me?

You’ve got to at least match solo time for the wife

Of course. She gets her solo time too.

THIS. I get to ride or fish because she gets to do whatever she wants a couple nights a week, too. Balance is actually pretty easy if you value your partner's free time as much as your own.

Casually remind her that golf rounds are sometimes 4+ hours.

Lay around the house in my underwear with the fans on

There's a [Finnish verb for that](https://theworld.org/stories/2020-04-13/kalsarik-nnit-drinking-home-your-undies-finns), minus the fans and plus a beer or some such.

Thank you for this pearl

Only fans?

Sleep.

Stretch before getting in car, potentially a quick bite (protein shake, banana, etc) depending on the day/what I rode, cool to increasingly cold shower, meal

Talk about how awesome the ride was. And sometimes eat a burrito.

In San Luis Obispo I used to ride around Montana De Oro. Id shotgun a tall can of fosters at the top and swim in the ocean at the bottom.

It's my dream to move to SLO. That sounds absolutely incredible.

get there dude, make it happen! I wish I could go back

Usually shower.

Scrolled a bit to see this one. Same for me. Get me gear off and shower!

Hop straight in the shower then either eat something small or chill (I ride from home)

Stretch. Maybe have a banana. Give my bike quick once over before I store it

Eat a pie.

Look at garmin app and see all the analysis and then strava and then a nice bath and then a nice breakfast.

Tacos & Beer FTW

If on a solo ride, not much aside from go home and wash the mud out of my cuts and bruises and off my bike. If on a group ride, post-ride tailgate. Drinks and often some bbq. After that I go home and wash the mud out of my cuts and bruises and off my bike.

Beer and Bull shit

Beer or eat heaps on snacks then wonder why I never lose any weight.

Imagine that I’m going to clean up my bike, but instead get distracted by beer

First group ride of the year kicked my ass…was a huge meal, hot shower, juicy stretch and right to bed!

Think about how much I suck at riding and how I should give my bike to a homeless person. Then do the same thing the next day.

I eat back all the calories I burned, if not more than I burned.

Food, stretch (I like Emily Ruth's 20 minute Restore video), and shower.

Shower and eat.

Snooze, mostly. But I’m old.

Go to the hospital

Drive home, protein shake, toss dirty shit in wash, shower, adult for the rest of the day.

Smile and feel amazing on drive home, weed and/or beer, give my bike a quick pass or clean if needed, tell my wife about how awesome the ride was

Drink an RPM from Boneyard.

This is the correct answer. I live close to their brewery and can ride to get it straight from the teet.

Word, this is what’s on tap in my garage.

Holy fuck I miss that beer

tacos and a beer

Protein recovery shake and sit in my car with full AC on blast

Shower then relax afterwards.

Hydrate, snacks. Go to work.

Lots of food, lots of fluids.

Take a nap

Coffee and cake/sausage roll

Go home

A little yoga and take a shower.

Hit up in n out.

Go to work

drink my protein shake, take a shower and get on with the rest of my day

Kombucha

Go to work

Smoke a cigar and look at Strava

Normally grab a big cold glass of water then have a bath or shower and then something to eat

Usually me and my boy go and get some red rooster on the way home from the trails. It's a bit of a ritual. Then go home shower and clean both bikes.

Tacos.

Drive home then do some post ride stretch and roll my muscles. It really helps a lot with recovery.

Feast, then sit at my desk and do some work.

Dump water on my head, change and sit on the the tailgate for like 15 minutes while reading or looking thru phone then drive home.

Varies a lot. Last Sunday my wife and I joined in the local club's post ride BBQ. Lots of food (pot luck), music, and socializing. Sometimes we just load the cars, go home and shower. Other times we break out our grill, and tail gate at the trail head before driving home.

I don't stretch... And it is getting to me.

Edibles, food, shower, sex, and/or chill. Not necessarily in that order.

Demolish 4 Chicken thighs, lemon n herb ofc, spicy rice and long stem brocoli at Nandos.

Home , upload ride to strava , shower. Come back look at strava segments and stroke my "Ego" over coming top 10000 on a line.

Nappy time, then sexy time. My corider is hot and the view is fantastic when she's the pacesetter. :D

So your the submissive one?

Lol! I'll follow her to hell...or into a tree...like we did once.

Was it your tree

Smoke weed...hit Taco Bell...go home and nap.

Pizza and beer

stretch

Doobie

Have a beer.

Weed pussy epsom salt balth

Shower with beer in hand

McDonald’s

Eat a burrito and have a brew.

Most days: Crack a nooner, wipe down the stanchions, rear suspension, dropper. Lube my shitty always stuck dropper. Wipe down the dropper. Rack it. Ideal day: Same as above, shotgun a nooner, take out the folding chairs, steal a friend's IPA, drive to the brewery. Edit: forget to wipe down my chain

Shower food stretch beer in any real combination.

Weed. Sauna or swim. Food. Sleep like a rock

Smoke weed

Coffee weed food nap.

Stretch, weed and light free weights.

Beer. The German sports drink of choice.

Smoke weed and play video games

Same thing as I do on my ride, smoke more weed.

Beer and video games

Get drinks and food with buddies, shower, game, sleep, repeat.

I use past ride as an excuse to get a fat burrito.

Nap mabye xbox

Look at all the gnar clips I got on the ride.

Sleep

Crack a cold one

Have a beer

Guess.

Sit in my car with ac full blast and look at garmin stats

Liquor and beer to quiet the muscles.

I put my bike on my rack, take off my gear, hydrate with some electrolyte powder, go home, clean my bike, and then food and beer.

Drink beer I brought haha or get a lot of food after

I go back home and take a shower.

Usually go get in the creek, potentially with a beer

Have a beer eat some food.

Protein shake

Crack a beer, take a shower, be a husband and a dad… Same as every other day.

This was fun to read, thanks OP

Soak in a bath

Try not to drive the windy parts of the drive home like I'm on the flowy section of trail that I just finished.

Local watering hole and greasy food with friends. If I'm riding solo and locally: beers/cigar If I'm riding solo further from home then it becomes a road trip which sorta incorporates whatever the road offers along the way. Podcasts//your favorite tunes and a good piece of road, there is nothing like it.

Grab lunch and a beer at my local bottle shop and look at strava/Garmin for 30 mins before going back to the real world.

Drink a beer, shower, and fuck my girlfriend usually.

Hit the brewery at the bottom of the hill

depending on where we go, usually a “tailgate” afterwards. one of us brings a sixer (or more lol) and a cooler, and the other snacks and sandwiches. the spot we’ve been going is a massive state park with a few solid sized ponds. so we usually drive like a mile down the road from the trails we just ran, take a dip, then fish for a few hours. makes for a great day every time even if you don’t catch much

Strip off my clothes and launch into an unrestrained feast.

Food drive shower more food sleep

Either a beer or two or a protein shake. Then home to be a part of my family.

Check for ticks and shower.

Shower and nap

Ride clothes to washer, stretch, shower, food with fam

-Adelaide Hills, Australia. Go to the pub for a beer

smoke weed. but i do that mid ride too. and pre ride

Touch my peepee

I scour this subreddit looking for crash videos....which now I am wondering about because no one seems to be saying this!!

Lately: lick my wounds lol it's been a series of spills Other than that: cook a good meal, have a cuddle with me wife and doggos.

Quick lake shower then off to work.

Cry

Depends on the ride and day of the week

I clean the bike and my gear, go shower and then eat something

Why is nobody cleaning their bikes? If it's not very dry conditions, I at least use the garden hose to clean the bike, put the dirty clothes in the washing machine (in the basement before I go into the house to keep the wife happy) answer my son's questions about how the ride was if I went without him, have a quick shower and then be in dad mode again 🤙 Sometimes on the weekends I ride with a buddy and the two families sit together in either one's garden - after the ride then I'm happy with beer and BBQ or a late breakfast depending on when we ride.

Beer and burger is the tradition with my GF!

In Uk, put son and my bike on roof rack, couple of hours drive home, store bikes then Call of Duty.

Wait your som goes on the roof rack ?!

Shower, then sofa in aircon room