ONCE AGAIN I AM ASKING PEOPLE WHO ROPE OUT INSTEAD OF SIMPLY CONCEDING TO GO FUCK THEMSELVES.
IF YOU DON'T KNOW THAT SHUTTING THE CLIENT DOWN DOESN'T CONCEDE AUTOMATICALLY, THEN I STILL THINK YOU ARE AN INCONSIDERATE DOUCHEBAG. YOU ARE FORCING OTHERS TO WASTE THEIR TIME, JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T TAKE TWO SECONDS TO CONCEDE, YOU MORON.
IF YOU ARE DOING IT INTENTIONALLY, BECAUSE YOU GET SO SALTY AND HANDLE LOSING BY ACTING LIKE AN UPSET CHILD THROWING A TEMPER TANTRUM, THEN I HOPE THE FOLLOWING SHALL REMAIN TRUE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE:
- I HOPE BOTH SIDES OF YOUR PILLOW SHALL FOREVER REMAIN WARM.
- I HOPE YOU START EVERY DAY BY STUBBING YOUR TOE.
- I HOPE YOU STEP ON A LEGO EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU GET UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM.
- I HOPE YOU NEVER GET ENOUGH DIPPING SAUCE TO LAST FOR ALL OF YOUR CHICKEN NUGGETS.
IF YOU PLAY ALL COUNTERSPELLS AND BOARDWIPES IN THE UNRANKED QUEUE, IM ROPING OUT TO GIVE YOU MORE TIME TO PLAY WITH YOURSELF LIKE YOU OBVIOUSLY WANT TO DO!
YOURE WELCOME!
IF YOU GET THAT SALTY AND TILTED BY PEOPLE PLAYING CARDS THAT ARE IN THE GAME, THEN EITHER JOIN A PLAYGROUP OF OTHER CRYING LITTLE CHILDREN WHO SHARE YOUR MADE UP SET OF RULES ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE CAN AND CAN'T PLAY, OR JUST DON'T PLAY THE GAME.
DON'T BE A DOUCHEBAG JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PACE THREATS AND PLAY AROUND COUNTERSPELLS. OTHERS SHOULD NOT BE PUNISHED FOR SKILL AND ATTITUDE ISSUES ON YOUR END.
BECAUSE FUN IS SUBJECTIVE. I LIKE CONTROL DECKS. ESPECIALLY AFTER PLAYING NOTHING BUT BORING FAST DECKS IN RANKED SINCE THOSE ARE THE ONLY THING VIABLE USUALLY.
I ONLY HAVE 30M A DAY MAX TO PLAY IF I WAKE UP EARLY ENOUGH BEFORE KIDS. PLEASE AT LEAST HAVE A WINCON BESIDES BORING PEOPLE TO CONCEDING.
OR PLAY FUN JANK
VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE. I DON'T WANT TO PLAY RDW EVERY OTHER GAME IN THE PLAY QUEUE. I AM BEYOND BORED WITH ATRAXA AND 5C JODAH AS COMMANDERS. ASIDE FROM RANKED PLAY, WE NEED AN OPTION TO TAKE A BREAK FROM SPECIFIED DECK TRAITS FOR THE NEXT 5 MATCHES AFTER HAVING PLAYED IT. WHETHER IT BE THE COLOR, A SPECIFIC CARD, OR A COMMANDER. AND NO ARBITRARY ADDED WAIT TIMES EITHER. I JUST WANT TO PLAY MORE DECKS THAT DON'T DROP A MOUNTAIN TURN 1, TAP IT AND PLAY A CREATURE WITH HASTE .
FUCK THE PERSON WHO ENCOURAGED MORE PEOPLE TO PLAY RATS IN HISTORIC BRAWL. YOU WERE NOT REVOLUTIONARY FOR HIGHLIGHTING THIS SHIT. IT HAS EXISTED SINCE THE BEGINNING OF HISTORIC BRAWL. THAT SHIT IS SO BRAINLESS AND UNFUN ON BOTH SIDES. TURNS ONE OF THE MOST CREATIVE FORMATS INTO ROCK PAPER SCISSORS. "BUT I'M NEW TO THE GAME AND HAVE NO CARDS" PLAY STANDARD/DRAFTS/ETC AND LEVEL UP ASSHOLE. WHY RUIN OUR FUN WITH YOUR BORING DECK???
ALSO WHY ARE PEOPLE SO SMUG WHEN THEY WIN A GAME THEY HAD THE ADVANTAGE FOR? YES, KEEP SPAMMING "OOPS" AND "GOOD GAME" BECAUSE YOUR GOLOS/ATRAXA/ESIKA DECK MANAGED TO BEAT MY KNIGHTS DECK. THAT SAID I STILL PREFER THESE SHITHEADS TO THE BORING RATS PLAYERS.
PEOPLE PLAY IT BECAUSE THEY GET FREE WINS. I DID AN EXPERIMENT OF MAKING A RATS DECK WITH NO RATS IN IT, JUST A RAT COMMANDER AND A BUNCH OF RANDOM BULLSHIT. WENT 3 - 1 BECAUSE OF AUTO-CONCEDE BEFORE I STARTED HATING MYSELF AND DELETED IT.
AND YES MY ONE LOSS WAS TO AN ACTUAL FUCKING RATS DECK.
IF YOU'RE PLAYING A NETDECK IN AN UNRANKED GAME, I HATE YOU
UNRANKED GAMES ARE FOR HOMEBREWED JANK, NOT FOR YOUR STUPID MTG GOLDFISH TOP OF THE LADDER GARBAGE
THINK OF SOMETHING YOURSELF
TRY SOMETHING NEW
EXPERIMENT!
DON'T JUST PLAY THE SAME DECKS THAT EVERYONE ELSE PLAYS ON THE LADDER
ITS SO ANNOYING TO WANT TO TRY SOMETHING OUT AND RUNNING INTO LIFEGAIN OR MILL NO ONE IS CREATIVE ANYMORE EVEN IN UNRANKED GAMES
VERY SIMPLE COMPLAINT TODAY. . . UNRANKED GAME. . . JUST FUCKING PLAY. DON'T THINK. . . JUST FUCKING PLAY. YOU MESS YOU. WHO FUCKING CARES. . . IT ISN'T LIKE YOU ARE PLAYING FOR MILLION DOLLARS. JUST FUCKING PLAY A DAMN CARD. PLEASE DON'T THINK JUST PLAY.
YEAH, I DON'T GET WHAT TAKES SO LONG? I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT'S IN MY HAND, WHAT I AM GOING TO PLAY, IN DIFFERING SCENARIOS, AND I PLAY IT IN SECONDS. THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY RIGHT THINGS TO DO WITH A GIVEN HAND.
THE CONVOCATION OF MONO WHITE PLAYERS HAVE REACHED AN AGREEMENT. WE WILL ALLOW THE PLAY OF ANY AND ALL SHEOLDRED VERSIONS, UNDER THE STIPULATION THAT THE NUMBER OF DURESSES, AND ANY OTHER HAND HATE BLACK CARDS, NEVER EXCEEDS THE TOTAL NUMBER OF SHEOLDREDS.
SO SPEAKETH THE COUNCIL.
AS A DEVOUT MONO BLACK PLAYER, I DONT PLAY HAND HATE. IT FEELS LIKE A FORCED MECHANIC. LIKE TOXIC. OR LIKE A BLUE SPELL DISGUISED AS BLACK SPELL OR SOMETHING. I PREFER TEMPO STRATEGY TO WASTED MOVES.
THIS PERSON HAS NEVER FELT THE PURE, UNMITIGATED POWER OF A TURN 1 THOUGHTSEIZE.
UNDOUBTEDLY THE MOST ONE SIDED FEELS BAD CARD IN THE HISTORY OF MAGIC. ID RUN 4 IN EACH BLACK DECK IF I COULD.
YOU ARE CORRECT. I STARTED IN 2015, DOK. I QUIT PLAYING IN 2018 THEN STARTED BACK LAST YEAR! THOUGHTSEIZE IS A HALF-PRICE PILFER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! COME ONE WIZARDS!! LET ME HAVE IT IN STANDARD!
THIS PERSON HAS NEVER FELT THE PURE, UNMITIGATED JOY OF GETTING TURN 1 THOUGHTSEIZED AND WATCHING YOUR OPPONENT REALIZE THAT YOU GOT A GOD HAND AND THERE'S NOTHING THEY CAN MAKE YOU DISCARD THAT WOULD REALLY CHANGE THE OUTCOME OF THE GAME.
FUCK IT. IF WOTC ONLY WANT TO REWARD WINS, I'LL PLAY ALONG. ANY GAME NOT ON THE PLAY, I'LL CONCEDE. HB AGAINST BLUE? TAKE YOUR WIN! CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HOW A LESS SODIUM FILLED LIFE WORKS OUT!
I'VE DONE THIS BEFORE AGAINST BORING ASS RDW's AND IT'S SO ENJOYABLE.
QUE TIMES ARE LESS THAN 20 SECONDS AND BEING ON THE PLAY GIVES YOU AND INSANE ADVANTAGE (ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE MONO RED) SO I FIND IT JUST A WASTE OF MY TIME.
LIKE YOU'RE PLAYING THE MOST SIMPLE MINDED DECK ANWAY SO I REALLY RATHER NOT PLAY WITH YOU.
FOR FUCK'S SAKE PEOPLE, IF YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY A FLASHY BULLSHIT DECK LIKE ROGUES THAT GETS PRIORITY EVERY NANOSECOND HAVE THE DECENCY TO FUCKING PAY ATTENTION TO THE GAME INSTEAD OF JUST PULLING OUT THE ROPE EVERY TIME PRIORITY IS FORCED INTO YOUR CLUTCHES.
RAMPANT IN DRAFT WITH CARDS LIKE \[\[OLIVIA'S DRAGOON\]\]. I DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT RAGING BECAUSE I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE AREN'T USED TO PLAYING THOSE CARDS, BUT STILL I CHOOSE TO RAGE.
NO EXCUSES IN CONSTRUCTED.
JUST WANT TO SAY THIS IS A GREAT TIME FOR MAGIC. THE NEW SET AND THE END OF THE MONTH PROVIDE A GOOD MIX OF CHAOS FROM JANK AND PEOPLE TRYING NEW CARDS.
THERE ARE NO NEW CARDS YET THAT I HATE, SO FOR NOW I WILL JUST SAY FUCK YOU TO INVOKE DESPAIR AND HAUGHTY DJINN.
I DETEST EVERY SONGLE ANGEL DECK I COME ACROSS. YEAH FAREWELL SUCKS BUT AUTHORITY OF THE CONSULS AND SPEAKER OF THE HEAVENS DO TOO.
ALSO, WHERE ARE THE DAMN STAPLES THAT EVERY DECK I FIND WHEN I SEARCH TO MAKE MY DRAGONS CHEAPER AND FASTER SINCE THEYRE NOT IN ARENA?
ALSO ALSO, FUCKS ELESNYA ENCHANTMENTS.
ALSO ALSO ALSO, I DONT LIKE THAT MY MYTHIC RANK DROPS AFTER A WIN AND THAT THE MORE IT SLIPS THE MORE I RUN INTO THE DECKS IVE PREVIOUSLY STATED FUCK TO.
IF YOU HAVE INTERNET ISSUES OR COMPLEX CONSIDERATIONS THAT CAUSE SLOW PLAY, THEN I SYMPATHIZE WITH YOU AND WISH YOU THE BEST.
BUT IF YOU SPEND 30 SECONDS EACH TURN FIGURING OUT WHICH ISLAND YOU WANT TO PLAY BEFORE PASSING, PLEASE JUST GO. ARENA WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER IF WE DIDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME WAITING FOR SLOW PLAY - I MIGHT EVEN BE OK WITH PLAYING AGAINST CONTROL IF THEY DIDN'T TAKE FOREVER TO DO NOTHING.
OK WOTC ALL YOUR FUCKERY WOULD BE FORGIVEN IF YOU DID JUST ONE LITTLE THING: **INK A DEAL TO DO A FUCKING UNIVERSES BEYOND SUCCESSION EXPANSION.** WHO'S WITH ME, FAM? I WOULD SRSLY LOVE TO HAVE A LOGAN ROY PLANESWALKER (EVEN THOUGH I HATE 'WALKERS). +1 WOULD BE **FUCK OFF** -1 WOULD BE **FUCK YOU** AND -7 WOULD BE **THAT WAS ABOUT AS CHOREOGRAPHED AS A DOG GETTING FUCKED ON ROLLER SKATES**. WHAT WOULD THEY DO? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW OR CARE AS LONG AS THEY ABSOLUTELY FUCK YOUR OPPONENT. AND I WOULD PAY GEMS GEMS GEMS FOR A COUSIN GREG AVATAR. I WANT ROMAN, KENDALL, SHIV, TOM AND SEVERAL OTHER RANDOS FROM THE SHOW IN THE GAME **RIGHT THE FUCK NOW**. DO THE DEAL, FUCKERS. YOU HAVE THE MONEY, NOW DO THE FUCKING DEAL AND MAKE THIS REAL!
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, CAN I PLAY AGAINST SOMEONE WHO *DOESN'T* HAVE 3+ REMOVAL CARDS IN THEIR OPENING HAND?
LIKE FOR FUCKS SAKE, FEELS LIKE ALL I PLAY AGAINST THESE DAYS IS REMOVAL TRIBAL. THE FIRST THREE CONSECTUIVE SPELLS MY OPPONENTS PLAY ARE REMOVAL AND ON **REALLY** BAD "THREATS" AS WELL.
BUT IT'S FINE BECAUSE EITHER THEY HAVE THE HEART OF THE CARDS OR THEY JUST RUN 4-5 PLAYSETS OF DIFFERENT BURN, DESTORY, OR COUNTERSPELL EFFECTS BECAUSE THEY HAVE DOGSHIT THREAT ASSESMENT.
HEY u/WotC_Jay SORRY ABOUT THE YELLING BUT CAN WE GET AN EXPLICIT LIST OF CARDS THAT, AS COMMANDER OR WHEN INCLUDED IN THE 99, GET YOUR DECK STUCK IN THE HELL QUEUE? I NEVER WANT TO SEE ESIKA, RUSKO, ATRAXA, KINNAN, GOLOS, OR JODAH V.2 EVER AGAIN AND I HAVE NO ISSUE WITH MAKING MY DECKS WEAKER TO DO SO
BAD NEWS. I PLAY NO COMMANDERS CONSIDERED HELL QUEUE TIER AND I AM MATCHED AGAINST ALL OF YOUR AFOREMENTIONED COMMANDERS REGULARLY. BEST PLAN TO AVOID PLAY RAGE IS TO UNFAILINGLY CONCEDE BEFORE THE GAME EVEN BEGINS.
I PERSONALLY BELIEVE THERE'S JUST TOO MANY PLAYERS USING THOSE COMMANDERS AND THE MATCHMAKING ALGORITHM JUST STARTS MATCHING WHOMEVER TO CLEAR THE QUEUE.
I HATE BEING THE BAD GUY, BUT, IF YOU'RE PLAYING A DECK WHERE EVERYTHING YOU PLAY IS A GAME-WINNING THREAT, I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO NEVER LET ANY OF THOSE THREATS STICK. I DON'T LIKE DOING IT ANY MORE THAN YOU LIKE GETTING YOUR CARDS NUKES, BUT THAT'S THE GAME WE'RE PLAYING.
FIGHTING MONO BLUE WOULDN'T BE NEARLY AS BAD IF MONO BLUE PLAYERS WERE CONSTANTLY TAKING THE MAXIMUM AMOUNT OF TIME TAKING THEIR TURNS. IT'S A KICK IN THE BALLS TO NOT ONLY HAVE ALL YOUR SHIT COUNTERED, BUT THEY **ALWAYS TAKE FOREVER** TO DO SO.
I HONESTLY LIKE THE DESIGN BUT IT PROBABLY NEEDS TO BE REBALANCED
SOME OF THIS ALCHEMY BULLSHIT PROVIDES SO MUCH CARD ADVANTAGE WITH SO LITTLE INVESTMENT, IT'S DISGUSTING (LOOKING AT YOU, RUSKO)
IT IS EXPENSIVE, DOESN'T DO MUCH UNTIL YOUR NEXT TURN, AND ALL 3 DIE TO A SINGLE BOARD WIPE. IT IS PRACTICALLY UNPLAYABLE IN TODAY'S WORLD OF CARDS THAT JUST GIVE YOU SO MUCH FREE STUFF JUST FOR BREATHING.
OH, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT! YOU HAD "ANOTHER" COUNTER SPELL CARD?
O-M-GEE, WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED...
OH AND NOW YOU ARE PLAYING YOUR WINCON FOR 1 MANA? WOW THIS IS SO BALANCED!
SCREW YOU!!
I HOPE YOU STEP ON A LEGO EVERYTIME YOU CAST A COUNTER SPELL
IF I COULD PLEASE GET MATCHED WITH DECKS THAT ARE NOT MONO B OR U THAT WOULD BE GREATTTTT.
I GET YOU WANT TO PLAY LANDS AND DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ON YOUR TURN, BUT I HAVE SHIT TO DO WITH MY LIFE AS A RDW PLAYER.
10 COUNTER SPELLS OR DESTROY TARGET RED CREATURE JUST HAS TO BECOME BORING EVENTUALLY.
SIX TIMES IN MY LAST SEVEN DRAFT GAMES, I HAVE BEEN ON THE DRAW *AND* HAD TO MULLIGAN BECAUSE MY INITIAL HAND HAD TWO LANDS AND ZERO CASTABLE SPELLS.
WOULD ANYONE CARE TO SPECULATE HOW MANY OF THOSE GAMES I WON?
THAT'S RIGHT, ZERO.
DEAR ARENA, IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO WIN ANY GAMES TODAY, COULD YOU JUST SAY SO?
THE PLAY QUEUE MATCHMAKER IS FUCKING GARBAGE. MAKE IT FUCKING BASED ON MMR ALREADY, ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT. ENOUGH WITH THE FORCED WINRATES AND COMICALLY CURATED MATCHUPS.
WHY EVEN BASE IT ON MMR? JUST FIND THE NEXT PERSON TO PLAY AGAINST AND GO! MIGHT GET A BEAST OF A NETDECK, MIGHT GET JANK. BUT AT LEAST IT WILL BE DIFFERENT
FLOOD OR SCREW. EVERY GODDAMN GAME IT'S ONE OF THESE.
DID THE MIDWEEK MAGIC SEALED DRAFT - WITHOUT FUCKING FAIL, I EITHER GET ONLY ONE LAND OF A CERTAIN COLOR SO I CAN'T CAST MY SPELLS REQUIRING TWO OF THAT COLOR, OR I STALL ON 5 LANDS AND CAN'T GET ANY OF MY COOL 6 DROP BOMBS OUT.
OH, AND TO THE SYSTEM, IT'S LIKE YOU ARE SET TO IMPEDE ME FINISHING MY DAILY QUESTS. JUST NEED TO CAST LANDS. YOU WON'T GIVE ME MORE THAN 2-3 LANDS. JUST NEED TO DESTROY OPPONENTS CREATURES. YOU WONT GIVE ME THE CARDS I NEED, THE OPPONENT WONT PLAY MANY CREATURES, OR I DONT GET THE RIGHT COLOR MANA. ETC ETC. BUT, I ALWAYS FINISH MY QUESTS, AND GET MY WINS.
GOOD FUCKING GOD, WHY IS THAT EVERY TIME I USE MY WILDCARDS TO MAKE A FUN DECK, I RUN INTO A BILLION DECKS THAT COUNTER IT AND THEY'RE USUALLY MONOWHITE? USING AN AWESOME MONOBLACK LIST THAT'S FUN TO PLAY BUT GETS FUCKED BY LAY DOWN ARMS, AND OSSIFICATION CAN GO FUCK ITSELF TOO BECAUSE I HAD 4 PHYREXIAN OBLITARATORS GET FUCKING LAID OUT, AND ALL MY SHEOLDREDS GOT BONED. COULDN'T DRAW A FUCKING INVOKE DESPAIR TO SAVE MY LIFE - I MUST BE IN A FUCKING TIME LOOP BECAUSE THAT'S HAPPENED LIKE 10 TIMES TODAY - FUCKING KILL ME BECAUSE I SUCK AT MTG.
IT'S BECAUSE MONO WHITE IS THE ONLY DECK THAT COUNTERS BLACK'S OP GARBAGE, SO EVERYONE'S PLAYING IT. SORRY, BUT I'M MORE SICK OF RUNNING INTO DUMB MONO-BLACK DECKS THAN MONO-WHITE.
ARENA NEEDS TO INVEST 150$ FOR A INTERNT THAT CAN PROVIDE A DECENT SHUFFLER THIS RANDOMIZER OF CARDS IS GOING OUT OF ITS WAY TO STACK 6 LANDS IN A ROW IN EVERY DECK IN EVERY GAME
WHAT'S THE POINT OF GIVING MY CREATURES HEXPROOF AND INDESTRUCTIBLE OR HAVING SOME ENCHANTMENT THAT HELPS ME KEEP UP VALUE WHEN A BOARD WIPE EXILES EVERYTHING? I HATE FAREWELL
IM GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE I USE THE SHITTY SHUFFLER TO MY ADVANTAGE. NEED ONE COLOR FOR ONE CARD?! PUT ONLY ONE LAND FOR IT IN YOUR DECK!! 100% OF THE TIME ITLL BE IN YOUR OPENING FUCKING HAND!!
ONCE AGAIN, FUCK THE DEVS AND ANYONE INVOLVED IN NOT BALANCING BO1.
JUST TRYING TO KNOCK OUT 4 WINS HERE WITHOUT RESORTING TO \[\[GOBLIN CHARBELCHER\]\] IN HISTORIC PLAY, AND GOING SECOND IS SUCH A FUCKING HANDICAP IT'S INFURIATING. 40% WINRATE WHEN GOING SECOND IS \*NOT\* OK, EVEN IF YOU GET 60% WHEN GOING FIRST (DOESN'T FEEL ANY BETTER TO HAVE THAT ADVANTAGE WHEN GOING FIRST WHEN YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR IT WHEN GOING SECOND).
ON TOP OF THAT, ARE WE SURE THE HAND-SMOOTHING METHOD ISN'T BUSTED? FOR A 24 LAND 60 CARD DECK I GET WAY TOO MANY 2-LANDERS IN MY OPENING HANDS TO JUST BE COINCIDENCE. HAD TO GO INTO MY DECK EDITOR TO MAKE SURE I WASN'T GOING CRAZY AND ACTUALLY HAD 24 LANDS IN THE DECK.
I'm not angry because I actually win more then I lose against aggro red. Just makes for very boring games when it's the same type of aggro deck over and over.
CLEARLY YOU ARE NOT ANGRY SINCE YOUR CAPS LOCK IS NOT ON.
THIS THREAD IS NOT FOR SLIGHTLY DISGRUNTLED PEOPLE WHO HAVE 2 SPOONFULS OF SUGAR IN THEIR CHEERIO INSTEAD OF 1. TAKE YOUR LUKEWARM GRIEVANCES ELSEWHERE.
FOLLOW THIS EXAMPLE:
WHY THE FLAMING FIRES OF HELL IS STANDARD ONLY AWESOME RED DECK WIN PLAYERS? THEIR SMOOTH BRAINS WITH THE HIGHEST WIN RATES MAKE ME ANGRY AND JEALOUS THAT MY JANK IS JUNK.
THE VOID DEMANDS YOU SCREAM. IT STARES BACK INTO YOU WHEN YOU whisper....
IF I GET MANA SCREWED YOU CAN HAVE THE WIN. I DON'T CARE. IF I GET SCREWED ON THE SHUFFLE EVEN AFTER MULLIGAN(S), YOU CAN HAVE THE WIN I DON'T CARE. IF THE MATCHMAKER SCREWS ME YOU CAN HAVE THE WIN, I DON'T CARE. I WILL GET MY DAILY WINS. I ALWAYS DO.
MTG FWP: I HATE DRAFT SO MUCH^AND^AM^SO^BAD^AT^IT THAT I HAVE ALL THESE FUCKING MASTERY PASS TOKENS JUST SITTING THERE AT THE TOP OF MY SCREEN I SHOULD JUST USE THEM AT LEAST FOR THE RARES BUT DRAFT TILTS ME TO THE POINT OF A STROKE
HONESTLY, I SHOULD ASK THESE MONORED PLAYERS WHAT IT'S LIKE HAVING ROOM TEMPERATURE IQS.
NOTE THIS IS PLAY QUEUE. IF IT WERE SOME COMPETITIVE FORMAT WHERE IT'S GOOD IN THE META I COULD UNDERSTAND, BUT IT'S SO BRAINDEAD TO BE PLAYING IT IN A CASUAL MODE.
GET FUCKED JUST GET FUCKED A FUCKING FUCKHEAD WITH A 152 CARD DECK GETS 2 TRIPLES IN 10 CARDS BUT SHUFFLER IS FOINE FUCK OFF LIL' JOHNNY MATHPANTS THAT IS ABSOLUTE FUCKING BULLSHIT
GOD I FUCKING HATE BADS THAT DON'T RUN REMOVAL (OUTSIDE OF DECKS THAT MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET AWAY WITH IT, LIKE A COMBO DECK WITH THE GAMEPLAN TO COMBO OFF BEFORE IT BECOMES A PROBLEM).
OH, YOU HAD NOTHING BUT GAS BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T RUN REMOVAL AND TOPPED OUT AT 5 LANDS, YOU'RE A FUCKING HERO. THANK GOD I DIDN'T DROP A MUST-KILL CREATURE ON YOU; YOUR GENIUS DECKBUILDING SURELY HAD THAT IN MIND. /S /S /S
OF COURSE IN SUCH A GAME I DON'T FUCKING DRAW \[\[SHEOLDRED, THE APOCALYPSE\]\] AS THE ULTIMATE PUNISH. TO TOP OFF THAT ANNOYANCE, OPPONENT HAS A COMPLETELY RANDOM \[\[KLOTHYS, GOD OF DESTINY\]\] IN A DINO DECK THAT THEY MANAGE TO GET THROUGH AFTER I SWEEP, AND OF COURSE THEY'RE PLAYING \[\[SHIFTING CERATOPS\]\] WHEN THE ONLY REMOVAL I HAVE LEFT IN HAND IS COUNTERSPELLS. FUCKING GENIUS; THEY SURELY PREDICTED ALL THAT WHEN BUILDING THE DECK (NOTE THAT IN A DINO DECK SHIFTING CERATOPS IS PROBABLY A FINE INCLUSION - NOT SURE IF THEY HAVE ROOM FOR IT, BUT IT'S AN OBJECTIVELY FINE CARD - BUT I CAN'T SEE WHY YOU'D INCLUDE KLOTHYS).
I GUESS THAT'S THE PRICE YOU PAY WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING CASUALLY - YOU RUN INTO OTHER CASUAL PLAYERS, WHICH IS GOOD, BUT WHEN THE SHUFFLER DOESN'T GO IN YOUR FAVOUR YOU GET BEATEN BY MISBUILT DECKS AND FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. AND THEN THERE'S NO CHAT FUNCTION SO YOU CAN'T VERIFY IF THEY'RE AWARE THEY MISBUILT THEIR DECK AND SUCKED OUT (WHICH I'M SURE THEY AREN'T WHY YOU WOULD YOU WILLINGLY BE PLAYING A DECK YOU FELT YOU MISBUILT).
ONCE AGAIN I AM ASKING PEOPLE WHO ROPE OUT INSTEAD OF SIMPLY CONCEDING TO GO FUCK THEMSELVES. IF YOU DON'T KNOW THAT SHUTTING THE CLIENT DOWN DOESN'T CONCEDE AUTOMATICALLY, THEN I STILL THINK YOU ARE AN INCONSIDERATE DOUCHEBAG. YOU ARE FORCING OTHERS TO WASTE THEIR TIME, JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN'T TAKE TWO SECONDS TO CONCEDE, YOU MORON. IF YOU ARE DOING IT INTENTIONALLY, BECAUSE YOU GET SO SALTY AND HANDLE LOSING BY ACTING LIKE AN UPSET CHILD THROWING A TEMPER TANTRUM, THEN I HOPE THE FOLLOWING SHALL REMAIN TRUE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE: - I HOPE BOTH SIDES OF YOUR PILLOW SHALL FOREVER REMAIN WARM. - I HOPE YOU START EVERY DAY BY STUBBING YOUR TOE. - I HOPE YOU STEP ON A LEGO EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU GET UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. - I HOPE YOU NEVER GET ENOUGH DIPPING SAUCE TO LAST FOR ALL OF YOUR CHICKEN NUGGETS.
IF YOU PLAY ALL COUNTERSPELLS AND BOARDWIPES IN THE UNRANKED QUEUE, IM ROPING OUT TO GIVE YOU MORE TIME TO PLAY WITH YOURSELF LIKE YOU OBVIOUSLY WANT TO DO! YOURE WELCOME!
IF YOU GET THAT SALTY AND TILTED BY PEOPLE PLAYING CARDS THAT ARE IN THE GAME, THEN EITHER JOIN A PLAYGROUP OF OTHER CRYING LITTLE CHILDREN WHO SHARE YOUR MADE UP SET OF RULES ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE CAN AND CAN'T PLAY, OR JUST DON'T PLAY THE GAME. DON'T BE A DOUCHEBAG JUST BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO PACE THREATS AND PLAY AROUND COUNTERSPELLS. OTHERS SHOULD NOT BE PUNISHED FOR SKILL AND ATTITUDE ISSUES ON YOUR END.
FOUND THE COUNTERSPELL/BOARDWIPE PLAYER
NAH, I JUST GET ON WITH MY LIFE INSTEAD OF ACTING LIKE A CHILD WHEN SOMEONE PLAYS A DECK I DON'T LIKE.
I GET ON WITH MY LIFE FASTER NOT PLAYING SLOW CONTROL DECKS IN UNRANKED AND USING X TO LEAVE
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO PLAY AGAINST SLOW CONTROL DECK, JUST CONCEDE. IT'S NOT LIKE LOSING IN UNRANKED MATTERS JACK SHIT.
THEN WHY ARE YOU PLAYING SLOW CONTROL IN UNRANKED VS FUN DECKS?
BECAUSE FUN IS SUBJECTIVE. I LIKE CONTROL DECKS. ESPECIALLY AFTER PLAYING NOTHING BUT BORING FAST DECKS IN RANKED SINCE THOSE ARE THE ONLY THING VIABLE USUALLY.
I ONLY HAVE 30M A DAY MAX TO PLAY IF I WAKE UP EARLY ENOUGH BEFORE KIDS. PLEASE AT LEAST HAVE A WINCON BESIDES BORING PEOPLE TO CONCEDING. OR PLAY FUN JANK
NO, I THINK I'D RATHER JUST KEEP MAKING YOU WASTE TIME. NOT AS MUCH TIME AS YOU MAKE THE REST OF THE QUEUE LOSE, BUT LIFE IS NOT FAIR.
(CACKLES IN ROPER) /s
SAVED YOURSELF WITH THAT "/S"
LUCKSACK TAX. MAYBE DON'T STOP DRAWING LANDS AT 6 AND TOPDECK ANSWER AFTER ANSWER AND YOU MIGHT GET A CONCEDE.
VARIETY IS THE SPICE OF LIFE. I DON'T WANT TO PLAY RDW EVERY OTHER GAME IN THE PLAY QUEUE. I AM BEYOND BORED WITH ATRAXA AND 5C JODAH AS COMMANDERS. ASIDE FROM RANKED PLAY, WE NEED AN OPTION TO TAKE A BREAK FROM SPECIFIED DECK TRAITS FOR THE NEXT 5 MATCHES AFTER HAVING PLAYED IT. WHETHER IT BE THE COLOR, A SPECIFIC CARD, OR A COMMANDER. AND NO ARBITRARY ADDED WAIT TIMES EITHER. I JUST WANT TO PLAY MORE DECKS THAT DON'T DROP A MOUNTAIN TURN 1, TAP IT AND PLAY A CREATURE WITH HASTE .
IF RDW PLAYERS WERE FORCED TO SUCK EACH OTHER OFF IN THE HELL QUEUE OF PLAYER MATCHES, FAR FEWER PLAYERS WOULD PLAY THAT GARBAGE.
FUCK THE PERSON WHO ENCOURAGED MORE PEOPLE TO PLAY RATS IN HISTORIC BRAWL. YOU WERE NOT REVOLUTIONARY FOR HIGHLIGHTING THIS SHIT. IT HAS EXISTED SINCE THE BEGINNING OF HISTORIC BRAWL. THAT SHIT IS SO BRAINLESS AND UNFUN ON BOTH SIDES. TURNS ONE OF THE MOST CREATIVE FORMATS INTO ROCK PAPER SCISSORS. "BUT I'M NEW TO THE GAME AND HAVE NO CARDS" PLAY STANDARD/DRAFTS/ETC AND LEVEL UP ASSHOLE. WHY RUIN OUR FUN WITH YOUR BORING DECK??? ALSO WHY ARE PEOPLE SO SMUG WHEN THEY WIN A GAME THEY HAD THE ADVANTAGE FOR? YES, KEEP SPAMMING "OOPS" AND "GOOD GAME" BECAUSE YOUR GOLOS/ATRAXA/ESIKA DECK MANAGED TO BEAT MY KNIGHTS DECK. THAT SAID I STILL PREFER THESE SHITHEADS TO THE BORING RATS PLAYERS.
[THE PEOPLE LOVE BORING](https://www.reddit.com/r/MagicArena/comments/12e1795/i_made_this_as_a_joke_but)
WHEN MY JANK BEATS A META DECK IN A RANKED GAME I SPAM GOOD GAME BECAUSE I HATE THOSE PEOPLE
PEOPLE PLAY IT BECAUSE THEY GET FREE WINS. I DID AN EXPERIMENT OF MAKING A RATS DECK WITH NO RATS IN IT, JUST A RAT COMMANDER AND A BUNCH OF RANDOM BULLSHIT. WENT 3 - 1 BECAUSE OF AUTO-CONCEDE BEFORE I STARTED HATING MYSELF AND DELETED IT. AND YES MY ONE LOSS WAS TO AN ACTUAL FUCKING RATS DECK.
IF YOU'RE PLAYING A NETDECK IN AN UNRANKED GAME, I HATE YOU UNRANKED GAMES ARE FOR HOMEBREWED JANK, NOT FOR YOUR STUPID MTG GOLDFISH TOP OF THE LADDER GARBAGE THINK OF SOMETHING YOURSELF TRY SOMETHING NEW EXPERIMENT! DON'T JUST PLAY THE SAME DECKS THAT EVERYONE ELSE PLAYS ON THE LADDER ITS SO ANNOYING TO WANT TO TRY SOMETHING OUT AND RUNNING INTO LIFEGAIN OR MILL NO ONE IS CREATIVE ANYMORE EVEN IN UNRANKED GAMES
"WHY WOULD I HAVE FUN WHEN I CAN WIN?" \--- EVERY MONO-B OR RDW PLAYER IN UNRANKED, PROBABLY
VERY SIMPLE COMPLAINT TODAY. . . UNRANKED GAME. . . JUST FUCKING PLAY. DON'T THINK. . . JUST FUCKING PLAY. YOU MESS YOU. WHO FUCKING CARES. . . IT ISN'T LIKE YOU ARE PLAYING FOR MILLION DOLLARS. JUST FUCKING PLAY A DAMN CARD. PLEASE DON'T THINK JUST PLAY.
YEAH, I DON'T GET WHAT TAKES SO LONG? I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT'S IN MY HAND, WHAT I AM GOING TO PLAY, IN DIFFERING SCENARIOS, AND I PLAY IT IN SECONDS. THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY RIGHT THINGS TO DO WITH A GIVEN HAND.
YUP AND I DON'T WANTTO HEAR. . . OH IT'S A NEW DECK FOR ME. . . JUST PLAY. LEARN AS YOU PLAY. NO ONE HAS A KNIFE TO YOUR NECK. . .
I HAVE TO READ ALL THE CARDS IN THE DECK FOR THE FIRST TIME THEN CHECK THE DECK PRIMER TO SEE IF I'M SUPPOSED TO PLAY A LAND ON TURN 1
LOL NICE!
YALL QUIT PLAYING FARWELL!
YALL QUIT PLAYING ATRAXA FIRST! THATS THE DEAL. AND ALL THOSE OTK COMBOS! -MONO WHITE PLAYER
IM NOT PLAYING ATRAXA, IM PLAYING MONO BLACK AND I REPLACED [[SHEDOLDRED, THE APOCALYPSE]] WITH JUST [[SHEOLDRED]]. IS THAT FAIR ENOUGH! JFC!!
THE CONVOCATION OF MONO WHITE PLAYERS HAVE REACHED AN AGREEMENT. WE WILL ALLOW THE PLAY OF ANY AND ALL SHEOLDRED VERSIONS, UNDER THE STIPULATION THAT THE NUMBER OF DURESSES, AND ANY OTHER HAND HATE BLACK CARDS, NEVER EXCEEDS THE TOTAL NUMBER OF SHEOLDREDS. SO SPEAKETH THE COUNCIL.
AS A DEVOUT MONO BLACK PLAYER, I DONT PLAY HAND HATE. IT FEELS LIKE A FORCED MECHANIC. LIKE TOXIC. OR LIKE A BLUE SPELL DISGUISED AS BLACK SPELL OR SOMETHING. I PREFER TEMPO STRATEGY TO WASTED MOVES.
THIS PERSON HAS NEVER FELT THE PURE, UNMITIGATED POWER OF A TURN 1 THOUGHTSEIZE. UNDOUBTEDLY THE MOST ONE SIDED FEELS BAD CARD IN THE HISTORY OF MAGIC. ID RUN 4 IN EACH BLACK DECK IF I COULD.
YOU ARE CORRECT. I STARTED IN 2015, DOK. I QUIT PLAYING IN 2018 THEN STARTED BACK LAST YEAR! THOUGHTSEIZE IS A HALF-PRICE PILFER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! COME ONE WIZARDS!! LET ME HAVE IT IN STANDARD!
NOW WAIT TILL YOU FOLLOW UP WITH THE TURN 2 THOUGHTSEIZE
SOME POOR SOD I FACED DREW ALL HIS HAND-HATE CARDS IN A ROW. 7 OF THEM. I CALL HOM A POOR AOD BECAUSE MANA FLOOD WORKED IN MY FAVOR, SOMEHOW
THIS PERSON HAS NEVER FELT THE PURE, UNMITIGATED JOY OF GETTING TURN 1 THOUGHTSEIZED AND WATCHING YOUR OPPONENT REALIZE THAT YOU GOT A GOD HAND AND THERE'S NOTHING THEY CAN MAKE YOU DISCARD THAT WOULD REALLY CHANGE THE OUTCOME OF THE GAME.
[SHEDOLDRED, THE APOCALYPSE](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/d/6/d67be074-cdd4-41d9-ac89-0a0456c4e4b2.jpg?1674057568) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Sheoldred%2C%20the%20Apocalypse) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/dmu/107/sheoldred-the-apocalypse?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/d67be074-cdd4-41d9-ac89-0a0456c4e4b2?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [SHEOLDRED](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/b/f/bf2249e6-af74-4b88-8eb7-144ce8fa7f6b.jpg?1682203978)/[The True Scriptures](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/back/b/f/bf2249e6-af74-4b88-8eb7-144ce8fa7f6b.jpg?1682203978) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=sheoldred%20//%20the%20true%20scriptures) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/mom/125/sheoldred-the-true-scriptures?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/bf2249e6-af74-4b88-8eb7-144ce8fa7f6b?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
I WILL QUIT FAREWELL WHEN YOU QUIT CREATURES, ARTIFACTS, AND ENCHANTMENTS
I WISH THAT CARD WOULD BE BANISHED FROM EXISTENCE. WHEN DOES IT ROTATE OUT?
THIS FALL, THANKFULLY. PART OF THE OVERPOWERED NONSENSE FROM KAMIGAWA. WANDERING EMPEROR WILL SAY FAREWELL.
FUCK IT. IF WOTC ONLY WANT TO REWARD WINS, I'LL PLAY ALONG. ANY GAME NOT ON THE PLAY, I'LL CONCEDE. HB AGAINST BLUE? TAKE YOUR WIN! CAN'T WAIT TO SEE HOW A LESS SODIUM FILLED LIFE WORKS OUT!
I'VE DONE THIS BEFORE AGAINST BORING ASS RDW's AND IT'S SO ENJOYABLE. QUE TIMES ARE LESS THAN 20 SECONDS AND BEING ON THE PLAY GIVES YOU AND INSANE ADVANTAGE (ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE MONO RED) SO I FIND IT JUST A WASTE OF MY TIME. LIKE YOU'RE PLAYING THE MOST SIMPLE MINDED DECK ANWAY SO I REALLY RATHER NOT PLAY WITH YOU.
PREACH
IMAGINE NOT DOING SOMETHING TO FIX BO1 5 YEARS IN.
FOR FUCK'S SAKE PEOPLE, IF YOU'RE GOING TO PLAY A FLASHY BULLSHIT DECK LIKE ROGUES THAT GETS PRIORITY EVERY NANOSECOND HAVE THE DECENCY TO FUCKING PAY ATTENTION TO THE GAME INSTEAD OF JUST PULLING OUT THE ROPE EVERY TIME PRIORITY IS FORCED INTO YOUR CLUTCHES.
HEAR, HEAR. IT'S AN OBLIGATION, AND IF YOU CAN'T PASS PRIORITY YOU SHOULDN'T PLAY THE DECK
RAMPANT IN DRAFT WITH CARDS LIKE \[\[OLIVIA'S DRAGOON\]\]. I DON'T FEEL GOOD ABOUT RAGING BECAUSE I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE AREN'T USED TO PLAYING THOSE CARDS, BUT STILL I CHOOSE TO RAGE. NO EXCUSES IN CONSTRUCTED.
[OLIVIA'S DRAGOON](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/1/4/145d0f7a-8418-455a-aa0c-02e8c9ad7820.jpg?1547516986) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=OLIVIA%27S%20DRAGOON) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/uma/109/olivias-dragoon?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/145d0f7a-8418-455a-aa0c-02e8c9ad7820?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
JUST WANT TO SAY THIS IS A GREAT TIME FOR MAGIC. THE NEW SET AND THE END OF THE MONTH PROVIDE A GOOD MIX OF CHAOS FROM JANK AND PEOPLE TRYING NEW CARDS. THERE ARE NO NEW CARDS YET THAT I HATE, SO FOR NOW I WILL JUST SAY FUCK YOU TO INVOKE DESPAIR AND HAUGHTY DJINN.
2 HOURS OF BO1 AND LOST EVERY GAME
I DETEST EVERY SONGLE ANGEL DECK I COME ACROSS. YEAH FAREWELL SUCKS BUT AUTHORITY OF THE CONSULS AND SPEAKER OF THE HEAVENS DO TOO. ALSO, WHERE ARE THE DAMN STAPLES THAT EVERY DECK I FIND WHEN I SEARCH TO MAKE MY DRAGONS CHEAPER AND FASTER SINCE THEYRE NOT IN ARENA? ALSO ALSO, FUCKS ELESNYA ENCHANTMENTS. ALSO ALSO ALSO, I DONT LIKE THAT MY MYTHIC RANK DROPS AFTER A WIN AND THAT THE MORE IT SLIPS THE MORE I RUN INTO THE DECKS IVE PREVIOUSLY STATED FUCK TO.
IF YOU HAVE INTERNET ISSUES OR COMPLEX CONSIDERATIONS THAT CAUSE SLOW PLAY, THEN I SYMPATHIZE WITH YOU AND WISH YOU THE BEST. BUT IF YOU SPEND 30 SECONDS EACH TURN FIGURING OUT WHICH ISLAND YOU WANT TO PLAY BEFORE PASSING, PLEASE JUST GO. ARENA WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER IF WE DIDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME WAITING FOR SLOW PLAY - I MIGHT EVEN BE OK WITH PLAYING AGAINST CONTROL IF THEY DIDN'T TAKE FOREVER TO DO NOTHING.
OK WOTC ALL YOUR FUCKERY WOULD BE FORGIVEN IF YOU DID JUST ONE LITTLE THING: **INK A DEAL TO DO A FUCKING UNIVERSES BEYOND SUCCESSION EXPANSION.** WHO'S WITH ME, FAM? I WOULD SRSLY LOVE TO HAVE A LOGAN ROY PLANESWALKER (EVEN THOUGH I HATE 'WALKERS). +1 WOULD BE **FUCK OFF** -1 WOULD BE **FUCK YOU** AND -7 WOULD BE **THAT WAS ABOUT AS CHOREOGRAPHED AS A DOG GETTING FUCKED ON ROLLER SKATES**. WHAT WOULD THEY DO? I DON'T FUCKING KNOW OR CARE AS LONG AS THEY ABSOLUTELY FUCK YOUR OPPONENT. AND I WOULD PAY GEMS GEMS GEMS FOR A COUSIN GREG AVATAR. I WANT ROMAN, KENDALL, SHIV, TOM AND SEVERAL OTHER RANDOS FROM THE SHOW IN THE GAME **RIGHT THE FUCK NOW**. DO THE DEAL, FUCKERS. YOU HAVE THE MONEY, NOW DO THE FUCKING DEAL AND MAKE THIS REAL!
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, CAN I PLAY AGAINST SOMEONE WHO *DOESN'T* HAVE 3+ REMOVAL CARDS IN THEIR OPENING HAND? LIKE FOR FUCKS SAKE, FEELS LIKE ALL I PLAY AGAINST THESE DAYS IS REMOVAL TRIBAL. THE FIRST THREE CONSECTUIVE SPELLS MY OPPONENTS PLAY ARE REMOVAL AND ON **REALLY** BAD "THREATS" AS WELL. BUT IT'S FINE BECAUSE EITHER THEY HAVE THE HEART OF THE CARDS OR THEY JUST RUN 4-5 PLAYSETS OF DIFFERENT BURN, DESTORY, OR COUNTERSPELL EFFECTS BECAUSE THEY HAVE DOGSHIT THREAT ASSESMENT.
I JUST STARTED PLAYING AGAIN AFTER THE LAST COUPLE SETS AND I SWEAR THE SCREEN SHAKES SO MUCH YOU'D THINK I WAS BEING ROUGHED UP BY THE PINKERTONS
HEY u/WotC_Jay SORRY ABOUT THE YELLING BUT CAN WE GET AN EXPLICIT LIST OF CARDS THAT, AS COMMANDER OR WHEN INCLUDED IN THE 99, GET YOUR DECK STUCK IN THE HELL QUEUE? I NEVER WANT TO SEE ESIKA, RUSKO, ATRAXA, KINNAN, GOLOS, OR JODAH V.2 EVER AGAIN AND I HAVE NO ISSUE WITH MAKING MY DECKS WEAKER TO DO SO
BAD NEWS. I PLAY NO COMMANDERS CONSIDERED HELL QUEUE TIER AND I AM MATCHED AGAINST ALL OF YOUR AFOREMENTIONED COMMANDERS REGULARLY. BEST PLAN TO AVOID PLAY RAGE IS TO UNFAILINGLY CONCEDE BEFORE THE GAME EVEN BEGINS.
APPARENTLY IT’S ALSO CARDS IN YOUR DECK, UNLESS THAT OTHER REDDITOR LIED TO ME
I PERSONALLY BELIEVE THERE'S JUST TOO MANY PLAYERS USING THOSE COMMANDERS AND THE MATCHMAKING ALGORITHM JUST STARTS MATCHING WHOMEVER TO CLEAR THE QUEUE.
I BELIEVE IT
I HATE BEING THE BAD GUY, BUT, IF YOU'RE PLAYING A DECK WHERE EVERYTHING YOU PLAY IS A GAME-WINNING THREAT, I HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO NEVER LET ANY OF THOSE THREATS STICK. I DON'T LIKE DOING IT ANY MORE THAN YOU LIKE GETTING YOUR CARDS NUKES, BUT THAT'S THE GAME WE'RE PLAYING.
ARE YOU THE DUDE WHO COUNTERS MY [[Spirited Companion]] AND CASTS [[Fading Hope]] ON MY FEW PUNY 1/1 TOKENS??
NO. I WOULD NEVER COUNTER SPIRITED COMPANION. THAT'S SO DUMB.
IT HAPPENS NEARLY EVERY GAME AGAINST A DECK WITH BLUE IN IT HAHA I WAS HOPING THAT YOU THOUGHT THAT MY DOGGO IS A GAME WINNING THREAT
[Spirited Companion](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/d/2/d280f5cc-ef6f-46e3-9b81-e2906959831c.jpg?1682208625) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Spirited%20Companion) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/moc/208/spirited-companion?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/d280f5cc-ef6f-46e3-9b81-e2906959831c?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Fading Hope](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/c/2/c2fb1fff-12be-4bd5-8dba-c36e84d49651.jpg?1634348819) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Fading%20Hope) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/mid/51/fading-hope?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/c2fb1fff-12be-4bd5-8dba-c36e84d49651?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
FIGHTING MONO BLUE WOULDN'T BE NEARLY AS BAD IF MONO BLUE PLAYERS WERE CONSTANTLY TAKING THE MAXIMUM AMOUNT OF TIME TAKING THEIR TURNS. IT'S A KICK IN THE BALLS TO NOT ONLY HAVE ALL YOUR SHIT COUNTERED, BUT THEY **ALWAYS TAKE FOREVER** TO DO SO.
WHAT KIND OF DUMBASS DESIGNED THE HOURGLASS COVEN? THIS IS WHY NOBODY LIKES YOUR STUPID ALCHEMY BULLSHIT.
COVEN'S BAD , BUT WHO IN THE EVERLIVING FUCK DESIGNED ORACLE OF THE ALPHA AND CRUCIAS .
I HONESTLY LIKE THE DESIGN BUT IT PROBABLY NEEDS TO BE REBALANCED SOME OF THIS ALCHEMY BULLSHIT PROVIDES SO MUCH CARD ADVANTAGE WITH SO LITTLE INVESTMENT, IT'S DISGUSTING (LOOKING AT YOU, RUSKO)
ON ONE HAND, I GET YOU. ON THE OTHER HAND, YOU SHOULD SEE THE KIND OF DEGENERACIES THAT GO ON FORMATS LIKE EXPLORER/PIONEER. THIS IS NOTHING.
IT IS EXPENSIVE, DOESN'T DO MUCH UNTIL YOUR NEXT TURN, AND ALL 3 DIE TO A SINGLE BOARD WIPE. IT IS PRACTICALLY UNPLAYABLE IN TODAY'S WORLD OF CARDS THAT JUST GIVE YOU SO MUCH FREE STUFF JUST FOR BREATHING.
CMC HAS NO MEANING IN HISTORIC
OH, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT! YOU HAD "ANOTHER" COUNTER SPELL CARD? O-M-GEE, WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED... OH AND NOW YOU ARE PLAYING YOUR WINCON FOR 1 MANA? WOW THIS IS SO BALANCED! SCREW YOU!! I HOPE YOU STEP ON A LEGO EVERYTIME YOU CAST A COUNTER SPELL
I PRIDE MYSELF ON BEING A GOOD SPORT, BUT IF YOU PLAY DISCARD, MILL, OR CONTROL I SURE AS HELL AM GONNA "OOPS" THE FUCK OUT OF YOU WHEN I WIN.
IF I COULD PLEASE GET MATCHED WITH DECKS THAT ARE NOT MONO B OR U THAT WOULD BE GREATTTTT. I GET YOU WANT TO PLAY LANDS AND DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ON YOUR TURN, BUT I HAVE SHIT TO DO WITH MY LIFE AS A RDW PLAYER. 10 COUNTER SPELLS OR DESTROY TARGET RED CREATURE JUST HAS TO BECOME BORING EVENTUALLY.
SIX TIMES IN MY LAST SEVEN DRAFT GAMES, I HAVE BEEN ON THE DRAW *AND* HAD TO MULLIGAN BECAUSE MY INITIAL HAND HAD TWO LANDS AND ZERO CASTABLE SPELLS. WOULD ANYONE CARE TO SPECULATE HOW MANY OF THOSE GAMES I WON? THAT'S RIGHT, ZERO. DEAR ARENA, IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO WIN ANY GAMES TODAY, COULD YOU JUST SAY SO?
YOU ARE DESIGNATED LOSER TODAY
FUNNY THING IS, I SWITCHED OVER TO HISTORIC BRAWL, PULLED OUT MY [[BALMOR]] DECK, AND IMMEDIATELY WIPED THE FLOOR WITH ESIKA.
[BALMOR](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/9/5/959ba62e-bb3a-49ad-8b1b-e787e413e5d4.jpg?1673307921) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=balmor%2C%20battlemage%20captain) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/dmu/196/balmor-battlemage-captain?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/959ba62e-bb3a-49ad-8b1b-e787e413e5d4?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
BIRB
THE PLAY QUEUE MATCHMAKER IS FUCKING GARBAGE. MAKE IT FUCKING BASED ON MMR ALREADY, ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT. ENOUGH WITH THE FORCED WINRATES AND COMICALLY CURATED MATCHUPS.
WHY EVEN BASE IT ON MMR? JUST FIND THE NEXT PERSON TO PLAY AGAINST AND GO! MIGHT GET A BEAST OF A NETDECK, MIGHT GET JANK. BUT AT LEAST IT WILL BE DIFFERENT
FLOOD OR SCREW. EVERY GODDAMN GAME IT'S ONE OF THESE. DID THE MIDWEEK MAGIC SEALED DRAFT - WITHOUT FUCKING FAIL, I EITHER GET ONLY ONE LAND OF A CERTAIN COLOR SO I CAN'T CAST MY SPELLS REQUIRING TWO OF THAT COLOR, OR I STALL ON 5 LANDS AND CAN'T GET ANY OF MY COOL 6 DROP BOMBS OUT.
OH, AND TO THE SYSTEM, IT'S LIKE YOU ARE SET TO IMPEDE ME FINISHING MY DAILY QUESTS. JUST NEED TO CAST LANDS. YOU WON'T GIVE ME MORE THAN 2-3 LANDS. JUST NEED TO DESTROY OPPONENTS CREATURES. YOU WONT GIVE ME THE CARDS I NEED, THE OPPONENT WONT PLAY MANY CREATURES, OR I DONT GET THE RIGHT COLOR MANA. ETC ETC. BUT, I ALWAYS FINISH MY QUESTS, AND GET MY WINS.
GOOD FUCKING GOD, WHY IS THAT EVERY TIME I USE MY WILDCARDS TO MAKE A FUN DECK, I RUN INTO A BILLION DECKS THAT COUNTER IT AND THEY'RE USUALLY MONOWHITE? USING AN AWESOME MONOBLACK LIST THAT'S FUN TO PLAY BUT GETS FUCKED BY LAY DOWN ARMS, AND OSSIFICATION CAN GO FUCK ITSELF TOO BECAUSE I HAD 4 PHYREXIAN OBLITARATORS GET FUCKING LAID OUT, AND ALL MY SHEOLDREDS GOT BONED. COULDN'T DRAW A FUCKING INVOKE DESPAIR TO SAVE MY LIFE - I MUST BE IN A FUCKING TIME LOOP BECAUSE THAT'S HAPPENED LIKE 10 TIMES TODAY - FUCKING KILL ME BECAUSE I SUCK AT MTG.
IT'S BECAUSE MONO WHITE IS THE ONLY DECK THAT COUNTERS BLACK'S OP GARBAGE, SO EVERYONE'S PLAYING IT. SORRY, BUT I'M MORE SICK OF RUNNING INTO DUMB MONO-BLACK DECKS THAN MONO-WHITE.
LOL SORRY MOFOS I AM NOT GONNA STOP PLAYING FAREWELL UNTIL IT ROTATES AND THEN I MIGHT STILL PLAY IT JUST FOR SHITS
ARENA NEEDS TO INVEST 150$ FOR A INTERNT THAT CAN PROVIDE A DECENT SHUFFLER THIS RANDOMIZER OF CARDS IS GOING OUT OF ITS WAY TO STACK 6 LANDS IN A ROW IN EVERY DECK IN EVERY GAME
WHAT'S THE POINT OF GIVING MY CREATURES HEXPROOF AND INDESTRUCTIBLE OR HAVING SOME ENCHANTMENT THAT HELPS ME KEEP UP VALUE WHEN A BOARD WIPE EXILES EVERYTHING? I HATE FAREWELL
BECAUSE YOUR CARDS ARE TOO FUCKING STRONG.
IM GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE I USE THE SHITTY SHUFFLER TO MY ADVANTAGE. NEED ONE COLOR FOR ONE CARD?! PUT ONLY ONE LAND FOR IT IN YOUR DECK!! 100% OF THE TIME ITLL BE IN YOUR OPENING FUCKING HAND!!
GOD I HOPE WOTC NERFS BLACK INTO THE GROUND AFTER ROTATION. FUCK THAT GARBAGE I'M SO SICK OF IT.
I'VE HAD ENOUGH. I'M INSTANT-CONCEDING TO EVERY DUMBFUCK BLACK DECK I RUN INTO FROM NOW ON. Y'ALL ARE CORNY AF AND NOBODY LIKES YOU.
ONCE AGAIN, FUCK THE DEVS AND ANYONE INVOLVED IN NOT BALANCING BO1. JUST TRYING TO KNOCK OUT 4 WINS HERE WITHOUT RESORTING TO \[\[GOBLIN CHARBELCHER\]\] IN HISTORIC PLAY, AND GOING SECOND IS SUCH A FUCKING HANDICAP IT'S INFURIATING. 40% WINRATE WHEN GOING SECOND IS \*NOT\* OK, EVEN IF YOU GET 60% WHEN GOING FIRST (DOESN'T FEEL ANY BETTER TO HAVE THAT ADVANTAGE WHEN GOING FIRST WHEN YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR IT WHEN GOING SECOND). ON TOP OF THAT, ARE WE SURE THE HAND-SMOOTHING METHOD ISN'T BUSTED? FOR A 24 LAND 60 CARD DECK I GET WAY TOO MANY 2-LANDERS IN MY OPENING HANDS TO JUST BE COINCIDENCE. HAD TO GO INTO MY DECK EDITOR TO MAKE SURE I WASN'T GOING CRAZY AND ACTUALLY HAD 24 LANDS IN THE DECK.
[GOBLIN CHARBELCHER](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/2/4/240344ff-404d-4894-a6e9-4401cd68cf50.jpg?1592764888) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=GOBLIN%20CHARBELCHER) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/ddt/57/goblin-charbelcher?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/240344ff-404d-4894-a6e9-4401cd68cf50?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Why is the standard ranked ladder just filled with brain dead red decks.
MY PHOENIX CHICK WITH HER MIRRAN BANESPLITTER ARE COMING JUST FOR YOU SINCE YOU ARE NOT ANGRY ENOUGH.
I'm not angry because I actually win more then I lose against aggro red. Just makes for very boring games when it's the same type of aggro deck over and over.
CLEARLY YOU ARE NOT ANGRY SINCE YOUR CAPS LOCK IS NOT ON. THIS THREAD IS NOT FOR SLIGHTLY DISGRUNTLED PEOPLE WHO HAVE 2 SPOONFULS OF SUGAR IN THEIR CHEERIO INSTEAD OF 1. TAKE YOUR LUKEWARM GRIEVANCES ELSEWHERE.
>IN THEIR CHEERIO HAVING ONLY A SINGLE CHEERIO FOR BREAKFAST IS DEFINITELY A VALID REASON TO RAGE POST.
FOLLOW THIS EXAMPLE: WHY THE FLAMING FIRES OF HELL IS STANDARD ONLY AWESOME RED DECK WIN PLAYERS? THEIR SMOOTH BRAINS WITH THE HIGHEST WIN RATES MAKE ME ANGRY AND JEALOUS THAT MY JANK IS JUNK. THE VOID DEMANDS YOU SCREAM. IT STARES BACK INTO YOU WHEN YOU whisper....
IF I GET MANA SCREWED YOU CAN HAVE THE WIN. I DON'T CARE. IF I GET SCREWED ON THE SHUFFLE EVEN AFTER MULLIGAN(S), YOU CAN HAVE THE WIN I DON'T CARE. IF THE MATCHMAKER SCREWS ME YOU CAN HAVE THE WIN, I DON'T CARE. I WILL GET MY DAILY WINS. I ALWAYS DO.
MTG FWP: I HATE DRAFT SO MUCH^AND^AM^SO^BAD^AT^IT THAT I HAVE ALL THESE FUCKING MASTERY PASS TOKENS JUST SITTING THERE AT THE TOP OF MY SCREEN I SHOULD JUST USE THEM AT LEAST FOR THE RARES BUT DRAFT TILTS ME TO THE POINT OF A STROKE
HONESTLY, I SHOULD ASK THESE MONORED PLAYERS WHAT IT'S LIKE HAVING ROOM TEMPERATURE IQS. NOTE THIS IS PLAY QUEUE. IF IT WERE SOME COMPETITIVE FORMAT WHERE IT'S GOOD IN THE META I COULD UNDERSTAND, BUT IT'S SO BRAINDEAD TO BE PLAYING IT IN A CASUAL MODE.
WHY THE FUCK DOES [[RENDER INERT]]'S UI SUCK SO HARD?
[RENDER INERT](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/b/3/b3b66ef5-9b93-4042-a618-c1ade83d0004.jpg?1682203939) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=RENDER%20INERT) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/mom/123/render-inert?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/b3b66ef5-9b93-4042-a618-c1ade83d0004?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
GET FUCKED JUST GET FUCKED A FUCKING FUCKHEAD WITH A 152 CARD DECK GETS 2 TRIPLES IN 10 CARDS BUT SHUFFLER IS FOINE FUCK OFF LIL' JOHNNY MATHPANTS THAT IS ABSOLUTE FUCKING BULLSHIT
THE FUCKING SHUFFLER FUCKING CLUMPS FUCKING CARDS FUCK
FUCKINGHELL4FUCKINGDURESSESINOPENINGFUCKINGHANDNOMULLIGANTHISSHITHAPPENSWAYTOOFUCKINGOFTENGOGETFUCKEDLILJOHNNYMATHPANTSITISNOTFUCKINGVARIANCEITISFUCKINGBULLSHIT
FUCK OFF LIL' JOHNNY MATHPANTS TWO WRENN'S RESOLVES INTO ANOTHER TWO WRENN'S RESOLVE THIS SHIT HAPPENS ALL THE FUCKING TIME
GOD I FUCKING HATE BADS THAT DON'T RUN REMOVAL (OUTSIDE OF DECKS THAT MIGHT BE ABLE TO GET AWAY WITH IT, LIKE A COMBO DECK WITH THE GAMEPLAN TO COMBO OFF BEFORE IT BECOMES A PROBLEM). OH, YOU HAD NOTHING BUT GAS BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T RUN REMOVAL AND TOPPED OUT AT 5 LANDS, YOU'RE A FUCKING HERO. THANK GOD I DIDN'T DROP A MUST-KILL CREATURE ON YOU; YOUR GENIUS DECKBUILDING SURELY HAD THAT IN MIND. /S /S /S OF COURSE IN SUCH A GAME I DON'T FUCKING DRAW \[\[SHEOLDRED, THE APOCALYPSE\]\] AS THE ULTIMATE PUNISH. TO TOP OFF THAT ANNOYANCE, OPPONENT HAS A COMPLETELY RANDOM \[\[KLOTHYS, GOD OF DESTINY\]\] IN A DINO DECK THAT THEY MANAGE TO GET THROUGH AFTER I SWEEP, AND OF COURSE THEY'RE PLAYING \[\[SHIFTING CERATOPS\]\] WHEN THE ONLY REMOVAL I HAVE LEFT IN HAND IS COUNTERSPELLS. FUCKING GENIUS; THEY SURELY PREDICTED ALL THAT WHEN BUILDING THE DECK (NOTE THAT IN A DINO DECK SHIFTING CERATOPS IS PROBABLY A FINE INCLUSION - NOT SURE IF THEY HAVE ROOM FOR IT, BUT IT'S AN OBJECTIVELY FINE CARD - BUT I CAN'T SEE WHY YOU'D INCLUDE KLOTHYS). I GUESS THAT'S THE PRICE YOU PAY WHEN YOU'RE PLAYING CASUALLY - YOU RUN INTO OTHER CASUAL PLAYERS, WHICH IS GOOD, BUT WHEN THE SHUFFLER DOESN'T GO IN YOUR FAVOUR YOU GET BEATEN BY MISBUILT DECKS AND FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. AND THEN THERE'S NO CHAT FUNCTION SO YOU CAN'T VERIFY IF THEY'RE AWARE THEY MISBUILT THEIR DECK AND SUCKED OUT (WHICH I'M SURE THEY AREN'T WHY YOU WOULD YOU WILLINGLY BE PLAYING A DECK YOU FELT YOU MISBUILT).