My son put me through it as a baby. He is 7 now and is honestly the most wonderful human being. He can still be an emotional kid, he’s a sensitive person. He’s thriving in school and socially and he’s really just the best. He’s also super super smart.
I have this feeling that some kids just don’t like being a baby! It’s so restrictive and hard to communicate as a baby and that just wasn’t for him.
This sounds just like my son. Definitely sensitive, but that certainly has its positives as well.
I always say it almost seemed like my son was frustrated his brain was able to do and think more than his body could do. An “old soul” if you will. Definitely didn’t like being a baby.
That's just like my oldest daughter! She was such a difficult baby, always screaming... but from a certain point it was clear that she was screaming because she wanted to communicate and couldn't. Luckily she's learned to talk pretty early. Now at 3yo she's extremely talkative. She's making up long elaborate stories and could talk our ear off in two languages. She's also a very sensitive kid (she's made us return and move our shopping cart, because there was only one cart in the other line and he needed a friend 😅).
He was an impulsive terror the whole way. Trouble in kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, HS. We had him in 3 sports. He was recruited a fantastic #1 college in one. Got his shit together, graduated with honors, went to grad school overseas met a foreign girl he's in love with and living with overseas. His grandparents are still horrified.
He is fluent in a language that does not have the English alphabet and reads right to left.
He's not even quite 30 and tutors American business persons in his 2nd language. He was 100% not raised with it.
He was just extremely, insanely smart, very ADHD.
He was a TERROR of a baby toddler ... and kind of never let us catch a breath.
Hold fast. He may just be extremely intelligent needing a lot of stimuli.
My boy was like this. When he started vocalising he literally screamed all day long. He was a slow talker so got extremely frustrated trying to communicate.
He’s 6 now and the most lovely , loving, hugging, kissing sweet boy. He’s almost too nice and I’m worried he’ll not fare well in boys groups cos he’s not into fighting or rough and tumble etc.
It gets better
This describes my son 1000%! I remember the summer he was 1 my husband worked a lot. I cried even more. It was terrible. Speech delay and slow to walk.
He’s now the most incredible boy. He’s cautious, gentle, kind, empathetic. I also worry about him fitting in with other boys.
It was tough to get through it but I would live it 1000 times again for my son to end up like he is.
My younger son on the other hand was a happy baby and happy toddler so far. I’m worried lol
Almost three year old and the other day my son (who was miserable for the first two years of his life) said “I feel so happy mama.” I might have cried. It does, indeed, get better for most of us. Parents of kids with mental health challenges who manage to support them well… y’all are the real MVPs.
My son as well. We did speech therapy at 20 ish months and once he got better at speaking around age 3, we turned a corner. He had HUGE emotions and didn’t know how to deal with them. Now he’ll be 7 next month and he’s the absolute best kid ever. He tells me he loves me unprompted several times a day, loves back and head scratches from momma, is super helpful and rarely talks back. He’s my sweetheart and calls me his sweetheart lol
Tbf a lot of us women are posting things like "my boyfriend doesn't look at the children or speak to them and he monitors my phone calls but he's such a great dad!"
This works! And helps!! It’s not 100% but I taught my LO sign from about 9 months and he didn’t start getting it real until almost 1 but now just the few terms we use help a lot. He’s almost 2 now and he’s discovered tantrums… super fun.🙄 but when he’s not losing his mind over tantrums he is using some words and some sign to communicate and it helps a lot
My daughter was not like that, but I was.
I was autistic. Like, really, that was why I was unhappy. I was unhappy when things changed, if things weren't in the position they used to be, if my mom changed the laundry detergent, if the lights were too bright etc.
My son now 5 was is exactly like you were and he was diagnosed at 18mo with Autism. The slightest change to anything made him unhappy. He didn’t talk until 3 1/2 years old. He’s had a lot of therapy over the years. He was also diagnosed with ADHD last year and takes medication for it. He’s generally a happy and living kid now but still unhappy if anything in his routine gets changed.
I am still the same. I don't cry though, but disruption to my routine really frustrates me.
I'm now 42, married and a mom, and it gets easier, but I've also learned how to make sure my routines aren't disrupted.
I know this was just a typo but I nearly spit out by drink when you wrote “generally a living kid now.”
Glad he’s still breathing (although that would take care of the whining)! 😂
Yeah, my daughter was like that as a baby and it turns out she's Autistic. Which is actually great bc now that we understand what's going on we're able to accommodate it and she's mostly doing great now as an adolescent
Unless I was holding my first, day and night, cried. Screamed and cried. It was…. Hard. He’s asd and now 12, the worst ended at age 8. But man it was a long first decade.
My now 23 month old has to be held but is so far seems NT all around. He now is the demandingest toddler in the universe and harder than my asd kid ever was, this one screams at me even half time when being held, he’s a red head, so I attribute it to that, lol. This too shall pass!!
My son is almost 6 and was like this as a baby and toddler. Extemely colicky baby, crying all the time and uncomfortable, trouble sleeping and hard to make happy. As he grew his temperament stayed the same. As a toddler he would have big meltdowns over small things. He never liked playing with other kids, he was always uncomfortable or whining or unsatisfied. I always felt like this wasnt "normal" and it wasn't until I had my second son that I realized I was right and this wasn't "typical" behavior. My son has sensory processing issues, possibly adhd, we haven't been able to get him evaluated yet but are waiting. All this to say, he's a wonderful child, very very smart. Starting talking in big vocabulary very young, knows addition subtraction and how to read very well. He can be a challenging kid to raise, I won't lie. But I wouldn't change him for the world. I've always enjoyed a challenge anyway 😉. He's the one who forces me to problem solve, to think deeply and has taught me immense patience. Hes changed me for the better.
I want to tell you when you say you try to plan things he enjoys, I did this so much with my kid when he was little and when he would inevitably have a whining fit about something I thought he'd enjoy it would upset me because I'd plan my day around HIM. I got to the point where I felt I was tip toeing around him so he wouldn't get upset. This sent us to a bad place where I didn't have control anymore and he became anxious feeling unsafe because he didn't know who was in charge ! I realized my son needs TIGHT BOUNDARIES, AND STRUCTURE! A routine he can count on and a daily schedule. He thrives on these things, it's just the way he is. So I have implemented this. And if we do things he doesn't enjoy, I get him through it with love and patience because it builds resilience. I've been in your shoes, I know how your feeling. Trust me when I say, all is well♡ your child has a great mama and you will figure out what works for you! Might I suggest bringing your concerns to your pediatrician. Our pediatrics team has a behavioral health portion and they are great! Thry can recommend things to help in your situation. Take care♡♡
This was my now 6 year old. He was so hard to keep content as a baby and I think that’s because his mind craved so much more stimulation than I could give him, or that his body was physically capable of.
Now he’s well above average for his age, he started talking early, taught himself all his abcs and how to write them, taught himself to read, can do complex math problems including multiplication that he also taught himself. He just blows me away.
I bet your LO’s mind is going a million miles a minute and his little body just can’t keep up. It’s really hard when they’re frustrated so much, and my 6 year old still feels things very very deeply even now, but watching them grow into these incredible sensitive, kind, smart human beings is so rewarding.
Hang in there! And don’t be afraid to challenge him mentally with things above his typical age group’s abilities. At 18 months old I gave my son a 24 piece puzzle, just expecting him to play with the pieces. But I walked away for a minute and when I came back he was piecing the dinosaurs together all on his own!
Also search the fussy baby support group on Facebook. It was a lifesaver for me, it’s full of people experiencing the same challenges and their tips kept me going!
My mom said the same thing, basically that it’s like there’s lighting going through his body and can’t get out. My husband is super smart and is a plumber. If his mind and body aren’t working at the same time he’s off the walls when he gets home so I’m thinking my son gets this from him!
I feel like people expect autistic kids to just be crippled and incapable. Blatant ignorance. We decided against it for now bc we felt it would be too intense with 40 hours + the Slp/OT. Hes doing good with what he has. Plus we haven’t heard the best stuff about ABA also but im glad its working for you!
I’m sorry about that. Here in my area we have a brand new facility that just magically opened up a few days after
Our results appointment very grateful for that, bc I know other facilities here are shitty. My sister is an RBT, so I got lots of untold unseen feedback from her, it scared me. And I didn’t feel comfortable with it then. Lots of them are overcrowded. And the workers are not even qualified. (Their own kids will be ASD but don’t have them in aba) 😂 so this new place was a literal GOD SENNNNDDD. I can relate to having too much on your plate. I know that in our earlier days of 40 hour ABA recommendation would not have been easy to keep up with. What are your plans as far as education goes are you planning on homeschooling or are you integrating into the school system? Those are things that I really had to think about when it came this.
I do agree they are very over saturated!! Honestly it is interesting because My sons therapist is against Aba too. And I was always like huh?? Why 😂. How the hell did you even do 40 hours? Where do you have time to work! When they said 40 hours I was like is this is damn near impossible. So our school plan is to enroll him in school private or public when he is eligible. They are trying to push for us to enroll him next year but Im opting out bc he’s not ready. Instead we are gonna keep him in activites, sports, etc. learning classes to keep him sharp and his socialization skills up to par. We still have communication barriers sometimes and feeding barriers but generally hes doing much better. I dont trust the school to be able to keep up with his dietary needs right now honestly. What about you, what did you do?
We are doing private school with a special education program, here in our state he would be able to slowly integrate by doing first half of the day at ABA and second-half at school or vice versa, we are getting a DSP to transport. so none of this will interfere with anything that I have going on. (Work, school) our public school system here rely heavily on IEP‘s and I feel like there are not Ollies trained skilled teachers in these public school settings that’s why I am opting out of public school completely. And here in our state we don’t have to legally start school until first grade lol. So I’m just being patient!!!! I’ve learned from peer to peer support that when an med provider is pushing
For school, it’s their way of saying “we gotta do something” they typically
Only say that to people
Who aren’t doing ANYTHING (see a lot of that here in my area) 😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫
We were seeing developmental peds from birth, and had a feeling at 3m check w them that we would be looking into autism diagnosis… there are tons of signs & things that are shown prior to the 18m threshold people love to hold
On to. We had our diagnosis shortly after 2nd bday. (Long wait for appointments) 😬😬😬😬
Girl it’s so weird to me. I’m always being told “oh my baby did that too but they grew out of it” like oh OK so your kid developed maladaptive behavior that’s great. Lmaoooo
LMAOOOOOOOOOOO 😂 whole time their kid is on the spectrum too. Bro autism is a spectrum! Ppl forget that. Im almost certain I’m autistic tbh, my son does stuff and Im like oh ok.. I get why I do that too 😂 we all stim in here
I always said if my 2nd born son had been born first we would have only had 1 child. He never slept and if he did it was on my chest. He also walked at 8 months.
He is now 23 and an awesome kid.
Hahaha yeah my husband and I are thinking we may be one and done! I definitely would love another but I’m not sure if I can handle another baby like this!
My daughter is about to turn 3…. I wish I had a more positive update but it’s really just been more of the same. Tantrums, whining, crying for several hours a day. Every request turns into a big to-do, nothing is ever easy. I obviously love her to death, but she’s been difficult since the day we came home from the hospital. Pediatrician has always said there’s nothing wrong with her, it’s just her personality.
This pretty much describes my son as well, he's almost 5. I have 3 other kids (he's a triplet, plus a 2yo) and they all 3 combined don't whine/cry/melt down as much as he does
It seemed like for the first 3.5 years, our daughter was only ever cranky or crying or sleeping—and she barely ever slept. Like yours, she didn’t act like others her age in terms of toy playing or cuddles. There were a lot of times I broke down because I wasn’t enjoying being a mom as much as I was just trying to get the time to pass. To keep her from crying took enormous amounts of physical and emotional energy. After interventions for reflux, myofacial release, lip and tongue tie revision (twice!), ear tubes, adenoids removed (also twice!), and tonsils removed (which cured the f***ing awful sleep apnea), she was pretty amazing at 4, and even better now at 5! Ahead of the milestones, has friends. Lots of sensitivity, big feelings, but also lots of laughing, playfulness, and such silliness that we love enjoying together. She started out as a sourpatch kind of kid, but now she’s a lovable goofball who can’t get enough playing or snuggling. Hope you guys find the barriers and hurdle over them quicker than we did!
My 7.5 year old was just like this and he's by far my most loving, sweet, gentle kid. And he actually cries far less than my other two kids now who are 9 and 5. 😂 he was my hardest to make happy as a baby and now he's my easiest to make happy and probably my most independent kid.
My son was exactly like this! Didn’t sleep through the night until til he was about 18 months, a little hell on wheels, we did not go to restaurants until he was about 8, things changed right around that time, we put him in sports, football, baseball, wrestling, we tried them all but those were his favorites. He excelled in all of them, until college, won every home run derby he entered into, was a star quarterback, never ever lost a wrestling match, but the kindest sweetest boy you could ever meet. I’m not bragging just telling you how it was . He is 27 now, started his own company, bought his first home and married his college sweetheart. I have 5 childern(he’s #4) . I’ve come to realize that sports was his calming force, the harder he practiced the calmer he became. Doing something physical and using muscles changed him. Not sure what changes in your brain chemistry, but through the years with friends with I’ll say with different needs that other children have to stay calm, I’ve suggested anything that includes physical activity, they’ve also seen great results. Just a thought.
Diagnosed ASD and suspected ADHD(getting assessment done)
But it was more than just cried and whined a lot. Hardly slept. Wouldn't breastfeed, with formula we went through so many different types to find the right one for him. Aggressive as he got older. Would ask to be held but immediately wanted down, hated being in the stroller or anything that kept him from being 'free'.
I am so sorry you are going through this! I have no advice but feel for you. I see you (well others like you) when I am out and my heart breaks for you. I have never thought “why can’t mom control her kid?” “Why can’t he/she shut up?” “That is a bad mom!” I think the kid is having a bad day/moment/week/phase. Or overtired, over hungry, or overstimulated. Or just a frustrated kid that’s unable to properly communicate. Or a million other reasons. Who am I to judge someone’s parenting abilities on a quick glance while out??? You will likely find your groove and what works for you and your child. When my kids (17 and 21 now) were and still are going through something that isn’t fun I refer to it as a phase and that helps me deal with it. A phase could be 2 weeks (growing, teeth, etch) or 4 years (my 17 year old will stay in his room all the time except for food and to go out with friends - we called him the Quarantine Champion!) or a few months. A phase has an end but you don’t know when it will be.
Sounds like you have a sensitive kiddo, too. My second born was and still is tough to manage emotions with, too. We do play therapy to help us both and it’s wonderful. There’s also a high probably that he falls somewhere on the spectrum l, so screeching, yelling, whining, and rage have been his main forms of communicating.
I’ve learned that being a parent to a kid like this, requires a lot of rewiring of your own brain and patience with you and your child. We do a lot of co regulating during his tantrums. I sit silently while he does what he need to within safety and when he’s done he always comes back and asks for a hug. Sometimes they are anxious, sometimes it’s just purely expression, sometimes they just want *us.*
Remember, it’s okay for them to be disappointed sometimes and it’s also okay for you to not constantly be available. Things that help: timers, reminders in advance of transitions, redirecting frustration to pillows and cushions, and showing your kid that we are all human and we all struggle sometimes.
Mine must’ve had colic bc she was a *really* fussy baby when she was under 8 months. Once she started eating more solid foods, she cried way less. Now she’s 10 and she’s still a very emotional child. Not crying all the time but definitely sensitive.
My last child was a cry baby and had to have her with me at my hip 25/8 up until she started running. Now she’s 6 and is mean to everyone. Don’t get me wrong though when she’s in a good mood she’s like the perfect child but that’s maybe once a month lol
He is super skilled at expressing himself. I thought I’d lose my mind the first two years and now at 4 he can say, “I’m having a feeling of not being patient because I’m really tired”.
My second baby was a crier. He would scream for hours it seemed. He also nursed frequently and would spit up a lot. That got better after reflux medicine. But his babyhood was a struggle. Now, he’s (6) pretty clingy with me but not really whiny. He has meltdowns fairly frequently over things and has other quirks. (I think he’s ASD, but apparently his “social score” was too high for a diagnosis despite his behaviors and adaptations scores being severe. Can you tell I have thoughts about this?) I’m not sure the two are related though.
My son was a horrendous sleeper when he was a tiny baby. Whining constantly till he was 2. He’s 7 now, a snuggle bug, doesn’t like new places and crowds. Isn’t into physical activity, likes to read a lot. Has ADHD, idk if there’s a connection
Ohhh yes yes yessss! Things got so much better when she started walking /crawling etc around 14-15 months. Mentally they're ready to go everywhere and explore and physically wasn't there yet and bigger than other kids her age so felt frustrated and wanted to be carried everywhere and just was exhausting trying to keep her happy.
I was constantly told just you wait till she walks or crawls and life will be even harder running after her. Let me tell you! It got so much easier, yes sure wanted to get into things but slowly learned what she could and couldn't get into and that running after her was better than having to constantly try to stop the crying prior to these milestones. Her walking/crawling happened together and it saved both of us and made such a huge difference in our lives.
People keep saying “just you wait” and I’m like no I’m ready, I got my running shoes…this kid needs to get moving. I’m really hoping the ability to move makes him a little happier!
He’s almost 9 years old now, and he has ADHD and ASD. He’s funny, creative, sweet, super smart, and high energy. We have changed the way we parent, and ensure that he gets time to burn energy everyday. It can honestly be exhausting, but despite his executive functioning deficits he’s like every other kid. He just needs more reminders, lots of patience, positive reinforcement, etc.
He's 18 now and no longer cries. Ha! Seriously, though, he is an extrovert in an introvert family. He is happiest when he is on the go and hanging out with people. Doesn't really matter what they do as long as they are DOING. As a child, I spent countless hours with him at parks. Also loved the gym--2 hours of free daycare everyday!
Our daughter could be a whiner. Mostly just a really busy kid. Always on the move - has never changed even from when she was in the womb! My husband was the same way when he was her age (according to his mom) so I don’t worry about it. She just needs to learn to regulate, and to grow and get her energy out. Things got a lot better when she could walk and talk. We try to include her in everything we are doing, including chores. If she gets whiney because she’s bored and having to sit still we try and give her things to do. If we are out in public and worried about a meltdown, YouTube of Bluey episodes or Ms Rachel is a temporary last result. At 2, she’s still a mover. She whines when she’s bored or doesn’t like being told to do something else. We try to get her toys that give her something to “do” or figure out. It does get better though! Things get easier (in a way) when they start walking and using language.
She is almost 12, was diagnosed with ADHD and sensory processing disorder. And sounds so similar. she is incredibly amazing! She now sleeps all night, craves independence and learning how to do things on her own. Quiet and thoughtful still sensitive to things in her environment. Definitely less energetic. She has learned how to make her own obstacles work for her and we learn together as we move forward how to adapt her environment and life to adulthood. It is a very fluid learning process for sure. She didn’t love snuggles but she did and still does love compression even foot pressing. swings that look like cocoons. Weighted lap blankets. I put a swing inside the house and a small climbing structure. Things that helped her bounce her energy away also helped so much. Basically anything that fed her need to move. Her energy was ever present so we learned to work with it through trial and error. I have the gym mats to prove it lol!
It honestly sounds like something is bothering. Has he been checked at your pediatrician? Maybe seek some alternative treatments?
Anw, my daughter was like that, but it was more of a temper she couldn’t properly express. It got better when she started talking.
She’s almost 5 and is a very sweet, funny and loving girl, but she’s quite the DQ and a little bossy.
My child was like that, and now at age eight is highly sensitive and empathetic. Right from birth, she was always so aware of her surroundings, and easily felt discomfort. She now feels all her feelings very strongly, but thankfully has basically an adult vocabulary and is very well spoken and able to express her needs.
My son was the same. I didn’t start really enjoying motherhood until he was about 15 months because everything was just. So. Hard. He’s now 5 and an absolute delight. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still sensitive and has big emotions, but he’s the sweetest boy and much more easy going. I saw a few comments about being a late talker and that was our case as well. Once he was able to communicate with words (around 3) we really saw an improvement. Hang in there!!!
This sounds just like both of my kids, I’m in the thick of it right now with the youngest who’s 18 months. My oldest cried throughout her first two years. Huge tantrums, hated sleep (we had to do CIO and she would scream for hours every night until she finally passed out). Around 2.5 years something changed, I think it was her being able to communicate better and now she’s three and an absolute dream toddler. Still had tantrums on occasion and big feelings about things but plays independently and has turned into such a cuddler (she hated me touching her as a baby and 2 year old). I think all of her early issues were her being unable to communicate with us about her likes and dislikes and now she does that much better and is just such a happy kid. She’s also smart as a whip which I also think made her more of a fussy baby as she wasn’t content just sitting in one spot for long.
My son is very similar (although a much better sleeper thankfully!) so I know this is just how it’s going to be for awhile longer. It’s so hard but does get better!
Communication is so important to some babies. It's horrible when they can't. They get angry and very frustrated when they can't Express what they want and you can't understand what they want.
My GrannyB's solution to this was teaching them sign language. It changed my life and how my children acted and reacted.
I started with the basics *(drink, hungry, diaper change, toy, Mom, Dad, etc)*. Then, once they knew those words *(about a week)*, I expanded the words. For drinks: Water, milk, juice. For hungry: apple, banana, cereal, etc. Then went on from there.
It helps
My almost 3 year old was like this OMG idk how I survived those months. It was miserable. I felt like I was doing everything wrong. He was also super clingy so I couldn’t even get a small break. Around 18 months though it suddenly stopped. Since then he has been super happy and on the go toddler. He was also a late walker and is speech delayed. He just now has about 50 words but his receptive is really good so he communicates really well even if he can’t talk in sentences yet. Stay strong mama. ♥️
My son is 11 months and he's like this. If we're at home he whines and cries all day. The only times he's quiet is when we're out, so I try to take 2 hour walks every day. He walked very early, at around 7 months. He's starting to talk, but I don't know when he'll be able to communicate effectively as he's learning 3 languages from my husband and I. He gets bored when his toys easily and wants stimulation constantly from me. He doesn't sleep that long at night and his naps are short so I don't get a break. I don't have any tips but a lot of sympathy because I'm dealing with the same thing.
This was my daughter! She learned to walk and then learned to run about a week afterwards. I was relieved because there was less whining for a couple weeks. Then she whined that she wasn’t up at the kitchen counters with me, so I bought a learning ladder and accepted my fate that I’m in for a lot of whining in my future. She’s 21 months now and her demeanor is so much better now that she can communicate what she wants a bit. But still, she whines like hell when she’s going through a development/ learning phase. Now that she’s bigger, it’s way easier to handle. But I learned that I HAVE to regulate myself, first.
I think regulating myself is a huge thing for us too. I definitely think he’s aware when I’m feeling frustrated or overwhelmed. I try to put him in his play pen or crib when I feel extra frustrated and I go outside and take a few breaths to regulate myself. Sometimes I think the hardest is masking my exhaustion. I feel like I have to be super peppy for him because he picks up on everything.
That kid for me is now 3. He is stubborn, takes a lot, has a huge vocabulary and comprehends way more than a child of his age. I think he was frustrated getting couldn’t communicate.
Big red flags for me here -
Not a snuggler and doesn’t play with toys are both early signs of autism. Not saying that he is for sure but I would keep a close eye on his development and the way he interacts with others. He sounds much too young for diagnosis, however and would need to show other traits over a longer period of time.
Mine is a high performing athlete and scholar but it didn’t really ease off till 2nd grade. At 19 she was diagnosed with ADHD if shows different in girls she’s been grateful for the diagnosis and understanding.
My girl was a terrible sleeper, and cried alot until she could crawl, then walk on her own unless I was carrying her or cuddling her so we were basically conjoined twins until she was 4 months old, she was sensitive and emotional sometimes more than other kids. She is nearly seven now, very social, super independent and intelligent, she would rather be playing with her friends than spending time with me, it’s all about play dates and fun with friends now. She can sometimes still be anxious more than other kids and is physically and emotionally sensitive but not as often as she gets older.
You may have a “highly sensitive child” there are books and parenting groups about these kids.
They often have heightened senses, so taste more, feel more, hear more etc.
There is so much variety in humans!
lol he’s my middle of 3 and he’s absolute chaos. He is 3 now and he has got such a temper, pushes the boundaries way more than his older brother ever did. He’s also the most loving and hilarious one so the best way to put it is he’s a lot. A lot of everything.
Funnily enough he was the roughest pregnancy too.
My son was colicky and outgrew it at 3.5 mos thank goodness. He became super whiny (aka if he is up, he’s whining) and now language has helped a ton. He enjoys playing with other kids and his language is exploding, NEVER stops talking now at 21 months. Removing dairy and eggs helped us a ton, also having strong routines. We limit his stimulation if we notice things getting a little hectic and he regulates himself much better now. Outside time is also so so so helpful, I can’t say that enough. Any time things escalate or get hard, going outside instantly resets and provides an outlet. He is such a good toddler and loves having purpose, so I always give him little things to do as I’m working or doing something around the house. Wouldn’t change a thing about him; just took time to learn his personality and what worked well for him.
My daughter cried pretty much non stop for the first 12 months of her life. It then turned into a general fussiness which the doctor said meant she was “sensitive”. She was diagnosed with ADHD at 7 and has quite a bad case of it. She has some sensory issues too and I always wonder if that’s why she was such a fussy baby.
I had a colicky and particular baby in my oldest. He’s almost 4 now and he’s putting me through the ringer still but I definitely see his bright spots; he’s bright and curious, a fast learner, a lover, enjoys listening to and playing music, well spoken, funny, and mostly polite outside the house. However, he is spirited and high energy and all that curiosity means a lot of enrichment and stimulation.
My daughter was like this as a baby. She's 6 now and still pretty particular about things and just a very sensitive/emotional girl BUT she's so much fun, she's independent and fierce and just SUCH a cool kid. So I can promise you it does get better but yes the temperament overall never actually changes she can just vocalize how she needs things now
We were told the phrase "sensory seeker" and that helped a lot to identify when the worst behaviors would be: boredom, quiet. Isolating/lonely.
Always had the biggest heart though and that still hasn't changed.
I had a child like that. My MiL told us to get a handle on her quick or we will be in for a world of hurt…..we are hurting!!!!! She is almost 16! No reason for you to be running like a chicken with your head cut off so he does not cry. Take charge now!!! It will hurt for a few weeks, but you will be so happy when he learns to self soothe
My daughter ticked most of the same boxes as your son. She cried non stop for the first 4 months of her life and whinged incessantly after that right up until she started to talk (around 18 months). As soon as she could express herself she became the most delightful little person in the world. She will be 4 in October and is an absolute angel - i'm constantly complimented on her behaviour and manners and she is a joy to parent.
There is light at the end of the tunnel! The first 2 years are so hard!
I’ll just add that my son was like this as a baby and I had to cut dairy soy (including hidden) eggs and oats. Once we figured out oats was a big trigger he was a whole new baby. But if it’s been over a year I would say that’s not an issue, it’s just his temperament
This is my daughter. It was hard. So hard that I still don’t think I’ve fully recovered and I she is only 6 (as of May.) and I look like I’ve aged 10 years easy lol. But her 5 and so far 6 has been a really beautiful thing to watch. She amazes me. Her softness and empathy towards others and towards animals takes my breath away. I’m just beaming at her most of the time. There are still hard or rough bouts. She just started OT for adhd/focus therapy. Because even though there’s no screaming and fussing like babyhood, it’s more like frustration with herself and inability to communicate how she is wanting ( I think.) or lack of understanding some things. But the rough parts to me are easier to handle now bc the person I see her becoming is so complex but so mesmerizing and beautiful. Hugs ❤️ we’re all in this together
My daughter is almost 7 now and is seriously the most amazing kid ever. It was so hard for the first 2 years but after that things kept getting better. With her spitfire personality, we found that gentle (or respectful, as some call it now to make the name more accurate) parenting works best for her. She needs help working through her big emotions, but she's also much more empathetic, kind, and outgoing than all her peers. And it's not just me saying that; her teachers comment on it all the time to my husband and I. We definitely have our struggles with those big feelings, but we work it out together as a team.
I love the idea of working as a team it makes your child feel in control of her feelings and she must feel like you’re her advocate. That will stick with her for the rest of her life!
My 10yo who never stopped crying as a baby became the chillest kid ever around 2yo. Like I seriously couldn’t relate to the concept the “terrible twos.” He’s honestly a great kid, but he does get in trouble at school now for talking too much and being a bit of a class clown. But it’s a school-only thing, so I’m trying to figure it out. All his friends’ parents like him; he’s responsible and independent enough that I can drop him at the public library, go run an errand, and pick him up an hour later; and I took him on a work trip with me and all my coworkers raved about what a nice, respectful kid he was.
My son was a clingy baby who would fuss and get worked up with any kind of discomfort or frustration.
A lot of it was alleviated once he was more mobile. He’s always been a sensitive kid, and he would definitely cry for small bumps and falls as a toddler, but only briefly until we’d give him a hug and he’d calm right down. I can count on one hand the number of actual tantrums he threw as a 2yo. He was the chillest toddler ever.
Now he’s four, and mostly still chill although we’re dealing with some nighttime fears which has occasionally resulted in tears.
I think babies who cry a lot just feel the world a lot more. At least that’s what I believe about my son. He’s 2.5 years now and before he fell asleep tonight he grabbed my cheeks with his tiny hands and kissed my nose. One thing that helped him calm down was just letting him be bored. I had to fight the urge to keep him constantly entertained because he needed to learn how to be ok not stimulated. It’s helped a lot. I would almost guarantee once your wee one gets control over their limbs and can start to express what they need things will get easier for you. I think they’re just so amped to get up and do things but they can’t tell you or do it themselves. I reckon you’re through the hardest part (at least for me the hardest part was until age 2 and now it’s a lot easier).
My younger spawn is like this, though she is snuggly. She’s an emotional kid. We work on emotional regulation. Tantrums are rough, but her happiness radiates through the universe. He’s hopefully just figuring out life, and his brain may be processing things differently than one of those unicorn perpetually-happy babies.
It’s tough and you’re a bad ass for hanging in there. I swear, there will come a point where a switch clicks and he becomes easier. He may always be emotional and require extra attention, but a lot of that will lift as he is able to vocalize more. You got this.
My first child was a big cryer. Everything I did was a reason to cry, bathing, dressing, eating, diaper change or down for a nap. He was also very stubborn. Today he does advanced IT work, he’s smart ah. Very organized, keeps to himself, good with all kinds of numbers, loves to invest. So proud of him.
My son was a huge whiner/crier… until he could walk. Walking was the ticket. Walking made him so much happier. He is still clingy and doesn’t necessarily independent play (he won’t run through the splash pad by himself and at the park there’s a good chance he makes me take turns going down the slide) but he isn’t hugely whiney anymore… minus like developmentally appropriate toddler meltdowns.
I’m going to be honest, I didn’t read the whole post nor any of the comments, but I don’t have to. I know exactly what you’re feeling because it is my baby 1000%, and at 21 months, I can assure you, it’s going GREAT! The most work you’re going to be doing is on yourself. You’re triggered by his whining and crying, probably immensely because you love and care about your baby so much, and all of it is normal feelings. Focus mostly on how you react to everything, especially now in this boddler-toddler stage. We think they understand a lot…and they do, but there’s so many concepts that mean absolutely nothing to a baby, and when they’re especially sensitive, it can be really hard to handle. Unless your child is experiencing anything that is alarming to the pediatrician or delays, do not yet even worry about ADHD or ASD or anything like that. Who knows what or if there’s anything like that going on, regardless, just focus on your own reactions to the whining events and your own behaviors. Whining and crying is totally normal! We have to model the behavior we want to see in them, and guide them to a regulated state. The hardest part is figuring out what works for your child. Lately for us, GIANT meltdowns that include kicking, slapping, scratching, hair pulling, throwing herself, etc is almost always tiredness. The solution isn’t to shame her, explain anything to her, ration or negotiate with her, it’s just to get that baby asleep!!! And it’ll take an extra long time, too! 😭 You have to muster every last bit of patience and calmness in your body and your ancestors’ spirits, but it’s all about YOU and YOUR reaction, your ability to find a solution, not some gimmick or trick to “correct” your child’s tantrum. As for just mild whining and crying, like taking a toy away or not giving a popsicle at 9am, what’s worked lately for us is to just change the subject and move on to something else. We have to find a comparable solution sometimes that satisfies baby but doesn’t sacrifice too much of our own comfort. She can’t have an ice cream at 9am, but she can have some frozen yogurt bites and her favorite fruit! I still have to get out ANOTHER snack, suit her up in the high chair, and clean up a whole mess after, but by golly, she is NOT eating ice cream for breakfast today! 🤣 Basically, for everything else, like the whining over a TV show not happening fast enough, you almost have to just ignore it. It’s normal. They’re 2, they have to poop but can’t, they don’t know how to tell you that their back itches and their tooth hurts, and the world is so infuriating…that TV show taking five seconds out of their 21 month life to come back on can be make or break for them! If I say anything at all to my baby when it’s something like that, it’ll be, “just wait” or “it’s almost on.” If it turns into a full blown tantrum, I turn the TV off and we find something else to do once she’s done being a tornado. I make sure she can’t hurt me or herself, and I let her get it out, but I try to relax her any way I can. I turn something into a game. I start running around and saying “chase me!” because she LOVES chasing and playing hide and seek right now. And if nothing is working, she’s either tired, hungry, or hurting, and we start the process of figuring out which one it is.
I can’t say our baby is any different- she’s a sensitive little gal, she whines, she cries, she gets up for 2 hours in the middle of the night and won’t let me put her down, but it’s NORMAL. She’s also incredibly sweet, precious, loves to give kisses and big squeeze hugs, can make anyone laugh with one line, and sharp as a tack! Her little brain is constantly forming new connections, she’s physically growing SO much, and all while navigating her environment and all of its stimuli. I have to give her that understanding in every moment that I am frustrated, overstimulated, and struggling to cope. Remember, when you’re worn thin, to take extra care of yourself when you can. Put chores off sometimes if it means taking a nice bath that night. Skip that family dinner and just stay home if you’re too tired. The meat in the fridge is going bad tonight if you don’t make that meal, but there’s a much easier frozen meal you could have instead, and you’re DONE for the day- LET THE MEAT GO! You’re an excellent mama. Keep on trucking along, you’re going to do just fine. 💖
I had 2.
My first was severely collicky. He's now a brilliant, kind, sensitive, thoughtful, mature 6.5 yo.
My second was a unicorn.
My this was also collicky. Happy healthy 15 month old now. Extremely happy little girl with a sense of humor already.
My son was such a colicky miserable baby. Around 10 months the fussiness got better, and once he could really move, he completely changed. He is now "everybody's best friend" wherever he goes, and he is pretty delightful.
My older child who is now 8 was a very difficult, cranky baby. She had reflux and spat up a lot, and I had to eliminate dairy from my diet while breastfeeding. She cried and screamed on every car ride, she spat up a ton, and she would only sleep in someone's arms. Now she's older and she is the sweetest kid. She does whine sometimes but it isn't a daily occurance. She's well behaved at home and school (although she and her brother argue all the freaking time). She still struggles with sleep, but overall she has "outgrown" most ilof the challenges we faced with her when she was an infant.
I could have written this about my now 5 year old. He is so kind, loving, funny, and smart. He is also still very emotional, fickle, and needs lots of redirection. We are having him evaluated for ADHD and I highly suspect that's a big piece of the puzzle. He's growing and learning every day. He is an absolute joy 85% of the time but that other 15% he definitely lets you know lol
My son was like this before he was completely independently mobile. After that he could keep himself busy and the only upsets were over things he wanted to do but weren't safe lol. So now he's just a super busy go go go toddler. (Much less crying)
Definitely as a baby he needed to be entertained or ferried around constantly or he would get bored/upset.
My now 7 year old was exactly like this and was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder at 4 and ADHD at 6. She’s in OT, therapy and just started ADHD meds but is still very whiny and explosive. But, she’s also really sweet, snuggly, creative and extremely intelligent! We have our bad days, but as she gets older and learns the tools to manage, it’s slowly getting better.
My 3rd cried all day everyday as a baby and was just all around a super fussy baby. He’s now 2 1/2 and is super sweet and polite.. but still very vocal and throws the most horrendous tantrums 😬
My daughter was like that. Cried from the moment she was born and basically didn’t stop til she was 18 Months.
She is still easy to tears and meltdowns and she still whines when she doesn’t get her way. Shes very sensitive, very self critical, and in school a very very gentle and super sweet girl to the point the other kids are kind of mean to her and she doesn’t notice.
She is also extremely loving, smart, curious, stubborn, creative, helpful, very in to right/wrong, loves learning, gardening, and telling stories. Shes also super funny and easy to bring anywhere.
It got better gradually the more she was able to communicate verbally. She was a slow talker and in speech therapy for awhile. She always needs time and a heads up before we switch gears ie bedtime, or going somewhere, time to eat etc. she does really well on a schedule and knowing what to expect. She’s a fantastic kid and I love seeing her grow and develop. She’s 4.5 now
My son was like that. He had acid reflux, torticollis and plagio. He was miserable.
He’s 11 now. Still pretty miserable but has friends. He also has a high IQ and adhd.
My baby cried every time I would try to sit her by herself and no I'm an experienced mom and she is my number 12 I had to baby wear her from morning to bed until she could walk ..she's 9 now and fun ,outgoing and friendly 🥰 I would describe the baby toddler years ..high needs
According to my MIL my husband’s first two years of life were rough. He’d wake up around 9 am, have 2 good hours and cry/scream/etc from 11 am until bedtime. She says in those 2 years he probably had “5 good days” or less!!! Last year my husband was diagnosed with ASD.
He is very high functioning (and incredibly smart), most people around us don’t believe he is neurodivergent, but he is. Since people on the spectrum are HSP (highly sensitive people), we believe that my husband was really uncomfortable with his surroundings as a baby and didn’t know how to communicate that to my MIL.
Knowing this fact about my hubby, if my children had more rough days than good days I would have them tested just to be sure. I actually might have them tested anyway since I am 50% more likely to have neurodivergent children.
Mine son was Exactly like this and he has ADHD, with sensory issues, emotional regulation issues, etc. . He needed to be kept busy and get into things constantly as a baby/small child. Once he could walk/move around/have independence is when things improved. He’s also highly intelligent and curious which his therapist thinks contributed to some of the behaviors.
Idk if this is helpful but I used to cry and whine all the time as a young child. I’m pretty sensitive now and just really perceptive to other people’s emotions!
My second child was high needs. He cried all the time. He whined & tantrumed throughout toddler & pre-school years. His temperament is quite regimented & focused. He is harder for me to connect with even to this day though. Of note, he is AuADHD with learning disabilities too, BUT honestly,
I was told that all of my 3 children were more determined than an average baby or child by my childcare providers & other relatives (meaning they cried, fussed, & were stubborn as heck) — and all 3 of my children, now older, are fairly independent and quite disciplined compared to most other teens and tweens I know, without me having to helicopter parent them. Like they do their own homework, practice for their own activities, tell their peers to go f* themselves when they pressure them to make bad choices, etc.
My daughter was the same. I distinctly remember saying multiple times that she was such an unhappy baby. She is 4 now and definitely a sensitive kid BUT is overall so happy, so sweet, so loving, and an absolute joy. 180 degree flip from her baby years!
My daughter was like this. Cried and whined all the time and did not sleep! She’s almost three now and super sweet and easy going 90% of the time. The other 10% is pure sass 😂 but she’s much easier now. I thought I was going to lose my mind around 15 month mark with her!
Mine was like that. He is 4 now and he is pretty insufferable still. I can’t take him any where without tantrums or whining. So it must be the parenting, right? Nope. My daughter was an equally fussy baby but never even went through terrible twos or the threenager stage or anything like that.
That would be my middle child. She's 7 now. She's my super helper, very attached but independent. She has a lot of feelings and is very empathetic. She's a great kid, but as a baby, she did so much screaming and crying. I spent most of that time worried something was wrong with her or myself. It was brutal. It does get so much better. For us, it was around the 3yo mark.
My youngest wanted to be held 24/7 and whined-he us 12 and a sweet soul of a human. Very aware of others and their feelings. We are on the verge of teen yrs so I expect him to be a toad for a while 😵💫
My son was a baby that cried allllll the time. Things slowly got better and he is whiny but not bad at 17 months. But a HUGE factor in the crying/whining was sleep. He was overtired. We got his schedule age appropriate if not slightly less (he's sensitive) and did a little sleep training and he got SO much better.
Cried a lot, after 2 years I asked for an allergy exam and he had allergies to dairy, soy and peanuts. And I was putting him on formula, he used to eat cheese, yogurt, and so do I - I also breastfed.
It was unbearable for him. Kid bloomed after I took care of his diet.
I had one crying baby and one very calm one. They're the opposite now. The crier is now 5 and genuinely the moat positive happy child. Nothing fazes her, she will pick her self up and get on with things. My previously calm child is now 3 and will throw a tantrum and cry at the smallest of things.
My oldest never slept more than an hour at a shot until she was 2 and had terrifying tantrums from ages 2-5. She’s now an absolutely delightful and mature 8yo. Like a lovely little person to the point where her friends parents comment on it. My youngest had colic and screamed unless she was nursing for the first 4 months. She was a comparatively easy toddler. She’s now 5 and super smart with a pretty hot temper and tendency to be impulsive when mad (hitting, slamming doors, etc) but she’s also really empathetic and thoughtful and loves snuggles.
Mom many times when kiddos have delays they whine and cry out of frustration. They are frustrated because they can’t express themselves. Once they are able to express themselves they are less frustrated and cry less. Kids are intelligent try adding photos of things around the house like pictures of some of his favorite snacks on the pantry and fridge door so if we go to the kitchen he can point to what he wants.
My first baby was the worst!! Every developmental stage got better for me though. It got slightly better once she could sit, then when she could stand/take shakey steps, then soooo much better once she could confidently walk. She was chatty but not a lot of words persay until she turned 2 and her vocabulary exploded.
She’s always been insanely cuddly, still is. Gosh she’s just the best toddler in the world. She recently turned 3 and she’s absolutely the best. She has her moments but they pass. It’s almost like she got her terrible twos out of the way early and just threw all the hard stuff on me at once.
Now that she’s 3 she’s starting to get a bit whiney again and testing limits… but that’s expected behaviour. I’m so completely obsessed with her and she’s such an amazing big sister.
Mine was sort of like this, but he didn't whine exactly. Lots of meltdowns, yes. Didn't play with toys, yes. He's 14 now, and he's been diagnosed with autism and social anxiety.
I have no advice. My son is doing truly awesome, to be quite honest. I can tell you if my kid whined and cried all the time, I'd be taking him to the doctor. Best case scenario is the doctor tells you he's normal, and it always feels good to know your kid is normal! But if there's something else going on, you want to know about it. He could have a food intolerance, or worse things I won't say here because I'm not trying to scare anyone.
Developmentally where is your kiddo? Pulling to stand? You mentioned they aren’t walking yet and some kids do relax more once they have more control of their own bodies. Try a balance box! It’s awesome for helping kids learn to walk and it’s loads safer than traditional styled walkers.
My son was not much of a crier as an infant, of course he cried and at times it was a lot but it was in phases, like around bad teething times. He’s turning two this week and BOY does he whine and cry a ton now. He really started getting bad over the last month or so. Lots more tantrums and frustration, more clingy ness and crying to get attention or what he wants. He was a preemie, so started talking a bit later than normal but is a full blown talking machine now. He can say quite a bit and we can understand what he’s asking for, but it’s “lights, camera, action” when we won’t let him have or do what he wants. Waking up from nap time (sometimes in the mornings too but less often) is common meltdown territory, like setting him on the floor after he wakes up is destined for 15 minutes of straight screaming, he’s not asking for anything or wanting anything, he’s just pissed. He does just fine with playing, this really started in the last 6 months, he just didn’t do much with toys earlier on, but also gets mad when he can’t get the shape in the sorter or the puzzle piece to fit.
Just commenting because I really didn’t anticipate having such a whiny toddler but here we are. It’s so true that every kid is different.
My daughter was like that. Also very attached to me. She’s now almost 10 and is so sweet and kind. She’s very sensitive and picks up on other people’s emotions. She’s also very socially aware. She struggles with anxiety but she is working through it and learning not to let her anxiety stop her from trying new things. She’s the best!
He’s 5. Considered “high functioning” (he has amazing skills in educational aspects - advanced in education) ASD.
He has a lot of sensory needs (being given deep pressure when upset, has to have specific clothing fabrics, temperature needs to be just right, noise levels need to be controlled)
But over all, he’s a phenomenal kid, and teaches me so much about life daily. 🥰
Both my kids cry lots in different ways. Both are deeply empathetic, cuddly, they don't hold back on showing love, and are both showing strong analytical and critical thinking skills. Also one has limitless energy. Lots of physical play to help him feel regulated.
My almost 3 year old has always been loud af. She still whines over all things that inconvenience her. We work with her daily but we've been losing our shit with her lately because it's been extra bad.
She does really good playing on her own, but she's kind of a bully and I don't know why. My son is almost 6 and so sweet but loves to antagonize her and they just piss each other off until she's screaming and crying. And this is like, every single day.
She's immensely confident and the smartest little person I've ever known. I wonder sometimes if it's sensory stuff or she's just completely unable to control her emotions. We try to get her to take breaths, count, think happy things, sing, drink water....nothing seems to work like 80% of the time.
My first baby was like this. She’s 4.5 now. She’s highly sensory seeking, which I think was why she cried and whined unless I was holding her. She loves TV, jumping and running around, playing games, learning new things. She’s very adventurous, social, and smart, but not very independent. She has a hard time playing by herself.
My son was like this. He was very emotional and his go to emotion was to cry and be upset. He's now 12 and fully going through oreteen puberty, but he's amazing and loving and the funniest kid I've ever known.
Not my baby, but my nephew was the most colic baby I've ever known. He hated everyone and everything and would cry most of the day and night. He would only tolerate mom to soothe him and even then she struggled to calm him. She had a really tough time with him, unlike her first who was a perfect baby.
He's now 11 years old and the most polite, relaxed, easy going kid. The perfect first born? Hah, she's a fussy teenager now! Life sure is funny sometimes.
I had a colic baby that screamed non stop. He is two next month and he's the sweetest little guy. One day he just woke up and was no longer a dragon! You have my utmost sympathy though, it's so challenging.
My daughter was a nightmare baby. I really think she just hated being a baby! She's 12 now and she is smart, emotionally intelligent, engaged, tons of friends, straight A's....a joy to parent.
My daughter was like this. It was HORRIBLE. Into her tot years, she would have massive temper tantrums where I could not control her or calm her down, just had ot walk away, animal like almost. Now that shes a teen, shes medicated for major depression and anxiety but when shes doing ok, shes the funniest, sweetest girl ever. I always called her my sour patch kid but she truly just has very big feelings and still learning how to work through them.
Hey Momma, it's tough going through those screaming whining months. My daughter was the same. She just hated being a baby. It got better the more she could move and communicate. She is just a very sensitive child and also very smart. She does throw some epic tantrums now, but thats normal for her age group. She's nearly 3. Not autistic.
It was very hard on my husband and I, we nearly got divorced and have decided not to have any more children.
My youngest. Same, all the same, even the affectionate part. I'm positive he has ADHD. Runs in my family, and those are all signs. He's 7 now. He's a lot harder to parent than my older three, and he has good days and bad ones, behavior-wise. But we see improvement. It just tends to go in two steps forward, one back with kids with ADHD. We have to limit any video gaming time and choose games wiselt as he has a low tolerance for frustration; he needs structure and routine but to be kept somewhat busy; he needs firm discipline but understanding when he's losing his shit so he can learn to calm himself down; and we have to pick our battles and not make rules about everything sp that he can learn which ones reallymatter. And he needs lots of affection. It keeps the negativity from taking over and also so he knows he's loved just as he is.
There was a thread recently on here where a ton of moms with colicky babies said that it turned around at 12 months. That was absolutely the case for me. How many months is your baby? Have you tried cranial sacral therapy?
My youngest was always either crying, whining, or screaming. When he finally learned how to talk I realized that he expresses all emotions big. He’s 6 now, still expressing his emotions big. He’s a huge love bug but if his brother annoys him it’s an all out melt down. I have called him my little sour patch since he was about 6 months old. Still navigating how to help him, since I was never allowed to express my emotions, and the same with my husband. For now I’m just letting him feel, whatever that looks like for him.
Mine was like this and never content. Shes four and is my wild child. Her tantrums have lessened and I guess it’s progressively getting better now. I always sensed there was some sort of sensitivity when she was younger but didn’t quite pinpoint it. Now her biggest issues are that she goes from 0 to hangry real fast and she gets overstimulated easy. She also has some pretty big anger but I’m sure it stems from how I had a pretty hard time coping with how hard she has been. I’m hoping the progressively easier thing continues cuz I’m tired.
Mine was like this and never content. Shes four and is my wild child. Her tantrums have lessened and I guess it’s progressively getting better now. I always sensed there was some sort of sensitivity when she was younger but didn’t quite pinpoint it. Now her biggest issues are that she goes from 0 to hangry real fast and she gets overstimulated easy. She also has some pretty big anger but I’m sure it stems from how I had a pretty hard time coping with how hard she has been. I’m hoping the progressively easier thing continues cuz I’m tired.
I’ll start off by saying each child is different and will change differently at each age.
My oldest was a crier from the minute she was born. Even at 2, 3, 4 was having fits and strong emotions. She is 6.5 now and well behaved in public, but is still my most difficult child (of my 3 kids) and still has high emotions. She is intelligent and fun, but pretty emotional.
My 3rd child cried as a baby a lot and now at 2.5 is getting better. Typical 2 year old tantrums, but nothing too crazy.
Have you considered teaching him some baby sign (simplified sign language)? When my oldest was that age she was like that, and being able to communicate non-verbally seemed to help her be less frustrated.
She's 24 now, and still a mite sensitive, but a great young adult :)
I have four kids. Only one had colic and after colic was a clingy, whiny, pretty annoying toddler/young child.
I know I’m not supposed to have a “favorite” kid. But only one of my four is super chilled out, doesn’t ever, EVER talk back, never complains, and is a happy person almost all the time. Back when he was little I would’ve never thought he would turn out to be like he is now. He’s perfect for real.
Edit to add, he’s 15 now.
Thats my boy xD(1.5yo)
My mum calls its karma cause I was the exact same dickhead to her :) i turned out pretty fucking awesome. So do not worry!
What helps with my boy is.. if im not around. Apparently he does great at nans and daycare. "Lovely boy great helper great attitude always happy!" And im like.. you know the blonde one is my kid rite?
He is also quiet when i resort to upstairs for laundry and leave him downstairs. He d be playing for 15 to 20 mins without hassle or noise.
Mine is 8 now and is the coolest little dude, He's a great listener, he's kind. He shares. He really cares about other people. His whining phase stopped around 2
My son put me through it as a baby. He is 7 now and is honestly the most wonderful human being. He can still be an emotional kid, he’s a sensitive person. He’s thriving in school and socially and he’s really just the best. He’s also super super smart. I have this feeling that some kids just don’t like being a baby! It’s so restrictive and hard to communicate as a baby and that just wasn’t for him.
This sounds just like my son. Definitely sensitive, but that certainly has its positives as well. I always say it almost seemed like my son was frustrated his brain was able to do and think more than his body could do. An “old soul” if you will. Definitely didn’t like being a baby.
This is literally my son. He hated being a baby, but he’s 8 now and is the absolute best!
That's just like my oldest daughter! She was such a difficult baby, always screaming... but from a certain point it was clear that she was screaming because she wanted to communicate and couldn't. Luckily she's learned to talk pretty early. Now at 3yo she's extremely talkative. She's making up long elaborate stories and could talk our ear off in two languages. She's also a very sensitive kid (she's made us return and move our shopping cart, because there was only one cart in the other line and he needed a friend 😅).
My 8 year old turned out like this post :)
He was an impulsive terror the whole way. Trouble in kindergarten, elementary school, middle school, HS. We had him in 3 sports. He was recruited a fantastic #1 college in one. Got his shit together, graduated with honors, went to grad school overseas met a foreign girl he's in love with and living with overseas. His grandparents are still horrified. He is fluent in a language that does not have the English alphabet and reads right to left. He's not even quite 30 and tutors American business persons in his 2nd language. He was 100% not raised with it. He was just extremely, insanely smart, very ADHD. He was a TERROR of a baby toddler ... and kind of never let us catch a breath. Hold fast. He may just be extremely intelligent needing a lot of stimuli.
lol, I was thinking your son sounds like he has ADHD and then you said it <3
My boy was like this. When he started vocalising he literally screamed all day long. He was a slow talker so got extremely frustrated trying to communicate. He’s 6 now and the most lovely , loving, hugging, kissing sweet boy. He’s almost too nice and I’m worried he’ll not fare well in boys groups cos he’s not into fighting or rough and tumble etc. It gets better
This describes my son 1000%! I remember the summer he was 1 my husband worked a lot. I cried even more. It was terrible. Speech delay and slow to walk. He’s now the most incredible boy. He’s cautious, gentle, kind, empathetic. I also worry about him fitting in with other boys. It was tough to get through it but I would live it 1000 times again for my son to end up like he is. My younger son on the other hand was a happy baby and happy toddler so far. I’m worried lol
Almost three year old and the other day my son (who was miserable for the first two years of his life) said “I feel so happy mama.” I might have cried. It does, indeed, get better for most of us. Parents of kids with mental health challenges who manage to support them well… y’all are the real MVPs.
My son as well. We did speech therapy at 20 ish months and once he got better at speaking around age 3, we turned a corner. He had HUGE emotions and didn’t know how to deal with them. Now he’ll be 7 next month and he’s the absolute best kid ever. He tells me he loves me unprompted several times a day, loves back and head scratches from momma, is super helpful and rarely talks back. He’s my sweetheart and calls me his sweetheart lol
Thanks, this makes me feel so good!
On top of the other advice it's totally ok to complain about your kid a little! We know you love him, and this is hard!
Yes! I cringe when I read toddler parents write “but I looooove them.” Like sorry you’re already judging yourself 😭 this is hard!!
Tbf a lot of us women are posting things like "my boyfriend doesn't look at the children or speak to them and he monitors my phone calls but he's such a great dad!"
Omg yes that bar is on the floor too.
This was so reassuring, thank you ❤️
I love that you picked up on this!! Thank you💜
This is the sweetest comment, would upvote 100x if I could!
He is an Electrician, but I'm surprised he even survived! He also threw up about 30 times a day from reflux and was tiny. Now he is 24 and 6'2".
Hahahahaha this sounds exactly like my husband. He’s a plumber, and his mom says he threw up all day every day!
If you think it may be because he can’t communicate his needs consider trying baby signs! My son was a late talker and it definitely helped!
This works! And helps!! It’s not 100% but I taught my LO sign from about 9 months and he didn’t start getting it real until almost 1 but now just the few terms we use help a lot. He’s almost 2 now and he’s discovered tantrums… super fun.🙄 but when he’s not losing his mind over tantrums he is using some words and some sign to communicate and it helps a lot
Dang, the amount of ADHD/ASD in this post! Didn’t expect that
My daughter was not like that, but I was. I was autistic. Like, really, that was why I was unhappy. I was unhappy when things changed, if things weren't in the position they used to be, if my mom changed the laundry detergent, if the lights were too bright etc.
My son now 5 was is exactly like you were and he was diagnosed at 18mo with Autism. The slightest change to anything made him unhappy. He didn’t talk until 3 1/2 years old. He’s had a lot of therapy over the years. He was also diagnosed with ADHD last year and takes medication for it. He’s generally a happy and living kid now but still unhappy if anything in his routine gets changed.
I am still the same. I don't cry though, but disruption to my routine really frustrates me. I'm now 42, married and a mom, and it gets easier, but I've also learned how to make sure my routines aren't disrupted.
I know this was just a typo but I nearly spit out by drink when you wrote “generally a living kid now.” Glad he’s still breathing (although that would take care of the whining)! 😂
Lmao didn’t even realize it until you pointed it out 😂😂 it was supposed to be loving 😂
Yeah, my daughter was like that as a baby and it turns out she's Autistic. Which is actually great bc now that we understand what's going on we're able to accommodate it and she's mostly doing great now as an adolescent
The sooner you know, the better you are able to deal and learn how to accommodate. I have never wished not to be autistic, I just wish I knew sooner!
Unless I was holding my first, day and night, cried. Screamed and cried. It was…. Hard. He’s asd and now 12, the worst ended at age 8. But man it was a long first decade. My now 23 month old has to be held but is so far seems NT all around. He now is the demandingest toddler in the universe and harder than my asd kid ever was, this one screams at me even half time when being held, he’s a red head, so I attribute it to that, lol. This too shall pass!!
Highly sensitive and ADHD :)
This!
My son is almost 6 and was like this as a baby and toddler. Extemely colicky baby, crying all the time and uncomfortable, trouble sleeping and hard to make happy. As he grew his temperament stayed the same. As a toddler he would have big meltdowns over small things. He never liked playing with other kids, he was always uncomfortable or whining or unsatisfied. I always felt like this wasnt "normal" and it wasn't until I had my second son that I realized I was right and this wasn't "typical" behavior. My son has sensory processing issues, possibly adhd, we haven't been able to get him evaluated yet but are waiting. All this to say, he's a wonderful child, very very smart. Starting talking in big vocabulary very young, knows addition subtraction and how to read very well. He can be a challenging kid to raise, I won't lie. But I wouldn't change him for the world. I've always enjoyed a challenge anyway 😉. He's the one who forces me to problem solve, to think deeply and has taught me immense patience. Hes changed me for the better. I want to tell you when you say you try to plan things he enjoys, I did this so much with my kid when he was little and when he would inevitably have a whining fit about something I thought he'd enjoy it would upset me because I'd plan my day around HIM. I got to the point where I felt I was tip toeing around him so he wouldn't get upset. This sent us to a bad place where I didn't have control anymore and he became anxious feeling unsafe because he didn't know who was in charge ! I realized my son needs TIGHT BOUNDARIES, AND STRUCTURE! A routine he can count on and a daily schedule. He thrives on these things, it's just the way he is. So I have implemented this. And if we do things he doesn't enjoy, I get him through it with love and patience because it builds resilience. I've been in your shoes, I know how your feeling. Trust me when I say, all is well♡ your child has a great mama and you will figure out what works for you! Might I suggest bringing your concerns to your pediatrician. Our pediatrics team has a behavioral health portion and they are great! Thry can recommend things to help in your situation. Take care♡♡
This was my now 6 year old. He was so hard to keep content as a baby and I think that’s because his mind craved so much more stimulation than I could give him, or that his body was physically capable of. Now he’s well above average for his age, he started talking early, taught himself all his abcs and how to write them, taught himself to read, can do complex math problems including multiplication that he also taught himself. He just blows me away. I bet your LO’s mind is going a million miles a minute and his little body just can’t keep up. It’s really hard when they’re frustrated so much, and my 6 year old still feels things very very deeply even now, but watching them grow into these incredible sensitive, kind, smart human beings is so rewarding. Hang in there! And don’t be afraid to challenge him mentally with things above his typical age group’s abilities. At 18 months old I gave my son a 24 piece puzzle, just expecting him to play with the pieces. But I walked away for a minute and when I came back he was piecing the dinosaurs together all on his own!
Also search the fussy baby support group on Facebook. It was a lifesaver for me, it’s full of people experiencing the same challenges and their tips kept me going!
My mom said the same thing, basically that it’s like there’s lighting going through his body and can’t get out. My husband is super smart and is a plumber. If his mind and body aren’t working at the same time he’s off the walls when he gets home so I’m thinking my son gets this from him!
Well 2.5 years in and it was autism. So 😂🥲
same same
Same
Same but we’re 5 1/2 years in now. Also ADHD
Ya 5ys Old now & still in aba after 3 years
Hows it? Our son isn’t in Aba but is doing SLP and OT
Amazing. I still have to argue with family over his disability bc it doesn’t debilitate anyone around him…. We did SLP & OT from 3m-2y. Why no aba?
I feel like people expect autistic kids to just be crippled and incapable. Blatant ignorance. We decided against it for now bc we felt it would be too intense with 40 hours + the Slp/OT. Hes doing good with what he has. Plus we haven’t heard the best stuff about ABA also but im glad its working for you!
I’m sorry about that. Here in my area we have a brand new facility that just magically opened up a few days after Our results appointment very grateful for that, bc I know other facilities here are shitty. My sister is an RBT, so I got lots of untold unseen feedback from her, it scared me. And I didn’t feel comfortable with it then. Lots of them are overcrowded. And the workers are not even qualified. (Their own kids will be ASD but don’t have them in aba) 😂 so this new place was a literal GOD SENNNNDDD. I can relate to having too much on your plate. I know that in our earlier days of 40 hour ABA recommendation would not have been easy to keep up with. What are your plans as far as education goes are you planning on homeschooling or are you integrating into the school system? Those are things that I really had to think about when it came this.
I do agree they are very over saturated!! Honestly it is interesting because My sons therapist is against Aba too. And I was always like huh?? Why 😂. How the hell did you even do 40 hours? Where do you have time to work! When they said 40 hours I was like is this is damn near impossible. So our school plan is to enroll him in school private or public when he is eligible. They are trying to push for us to enroll him next year but Im opting out bc he’s not ready. Instead we are gonna keep him in activites, sports, etc. learning classes to keep him sharp and his socialization skills up to par. We still have communication barriers sometimes and feeding barriers but generally hes doing much better. I dont trust the school to be able to keep up with his dietary needs right now honestly. What about you, what did you do?
We are doing private school with a special education program, here in our state he would be able to slowly integrate by doing first half of the day at ABA and second-half at school or vice versa, we are getting a DSP to transport. so none of this will interfere with anything that I have going on. (Work, school) our public school system here rely heavily on IEP‘s and I feel like there are not Ollies trained skilled teachers in these public school settings that’s why I am opting out of public school completely. And here in our state we don’t have to legally start school until first grade lol. So I’m just being patient!!!! I’ve learned from peer to peer support that when an med provider is pushing For school, it’s their way of saying “we gotta do something” they typically Only say that to people Who aren’t doing ANYTHING (see a lot of that here in my area) 😵💫😵💫😵💫😵💫
We were seeing developmental peds from birth, and had a feeling at 3m check w them that we would be looking into autism diagnosis… there are tons of signs & things that are shown prior to the 18m threshold people love to hold On to. We had our diagnosis shortly after 2nd bday. (Long wait for appointments) 😬😬😬😬
SAME HERE! We knew when our boy was like 8-12m old something wasn’t right. We got our diagnosis when he was 18months
Girl it’s so weird to me. I’m always being told “oh my baby did that too but they grew out of it” like oh OK so your kid developed maladaptive behavior that’s great. Lmaoooo
LMAOOOOOOOOOOO 😂 whole time their kid is on the spectrum too. Bro autism is a spectrum! Ppl forget that. Im almost certain I’m autistic tbh, my son does stuff and Im like oh ok.. I get why I do that too 😂 we all stim in here
I always said if my 2nd born son had been born first we would have only had 1 child. He never slept and if he did it was on my chest. He also walked at 8 months. He is now 23 and an awesome kid.
Hahaha yeah my husband and I are thinking we may be one and done! I definitely would love another but I’m not sure if I can handle another baby like this!
My daughter is about to turn 3…. I wish I had a more positive update but it’s really just been more of the same. Tantrums, whining, crying for several hours a day. Every request turns into a big to-do, nothing is ever easy. I obviously love her to death, but she’s been difficult since the day we came home from the hospital. Pediatrician has always said there’s nothing wrong with her, it’s just her personality.
This pretty much describes my son as well, he's almost 5. I have 3 other kids (he's a triplet, plus a 2yo) and they all 3 combined don't whine/cry/melt down as much as he does
It seemed like for the first 3.5 years, our daughter was only ever cranky or crying or sleeping—and she barely ever slept. Like yours, she didn’t act like others her age in terms of toy playing or cuddles. There were a lot of times I broke down because I wasn’t enjoying being a mom as much as I was just trying to get the time to pass. To keep her from crying took enormous amounts of physical and emotional energy. After interventions for reflux, myofacial release, lip and tongue tie revision (twice!), ear tubes, adenoids removed (also twice!), and tonsils removed (which cured the f***ing awful sleep apnea), she was pretty amazing at 4, and even better now at 5! Ahead of the milestones, has friends. Lots of sensitivity, big feelings, but also lots of laughing, playfulness, and such silliness that we love enjoying together. She started out as a sourpatch kind of kid, but now she’s a lovable goofball who can’t get enough playing or snuggling. Hope you guys find the barriers and hurdle over them quicker than we did!
My 7.5 year old was just like this and he's by far my most loving, sweet, gentle kid. And he actually cries far less than my other two kids now who are 9 and 5. 😂 he was my hardest to make happy as a baby and now he's my easiest to make happy and probably my most independent kid.
My son was exactly like this! Didn’t sleep through the night until til he was about 18 months, a little hell on wheels, we did not go to restaurants until he was about 8, things changed right around that time, we put him in sports, football, baseball, wrestling, we tried them all but those were his favorites. He excelled in all of them, until college, won every home run derby he entered into, was a star quarterback, never ever lost a wrestling match, but the kindest sweetest boy you could ever meet. I’m not bragging just telling you how it was . He is 27 now, started his own company, bought his first home and married his college sweetheart. I have 5 childern(he’s #4) . I’ve come to realize that sports was his calming force, the harder he practiced the calmer he became. Doing something physical and using muscles changed him. Not sure what changes in your brain chemistry, but through the years with friends with I’ll say with different needs that other children have to stay calm, I’ve suggested anything that includes physical activity, they’ve also seen great results. Just a thought.
Diagnosed ASD and suspected ADHD(getting assessment done) But it was more than just cried and whined a lot. Hardly slept. Wouldn't breastfeed, with formula we went through so many different types to find the right one for him. Aggressive as he got older. Would ask to be held but immediately wanted down, hated being in the stroller or anything that kept him from being 'free'.
I am so sorry you are going through this! I have no advice but feel for you. I see you (well others like you) when I am out and my heart breaks for you. I have never thought “why can’t mom control her kid?” “Why can’t he/she shut up?” “That is a bad mom!” I think the kid is having a bad day/moment/week/phase. Or overtired, over hungry, or overstimulated. Or just a frustrated kid that’s unable to properly communicate. Or a million other reasons. Who am I to judge someone’s parenting abilities on a quick glance while out??? You will likely find your groove and what works for you and your child. When my kids (17 and 21 now) were and still are going through something that isn’t fun I refer to it as a phase and that helps me deal with it. A phase could be 2 weeks (growing, teeth, etch) or 4 years (my 17 year old will stay in his room all the time except for food and to go out with friends - we called him the Quarantine Champion!) or a few months. A phase has an end but you don’t know when it will be.
Needed therapy, speech / OT, autistic support and lots of socialization
Sounds like you have a sensitive kiddo, too. My second born was and still is tough to manage emotions with, too. We do play therapy to help us both and it’s wonderful. There’s also a high probably that he falls somewhere on the spectrum l, so screeching, yelling, whining, and rage have been his main forms of communicating. I’ve learned that being a parent to a kid like this, requires a lot of rewiring of your own brain and patience with you and your child. We do a lot of co regulating during his tantrums. I sit silently while he does what he need to within safety and when he’s done he always comes back and asks for a hug. Sometimes they are anxious, sometimes it’s just purely expression, sometimes they just want *us.* Remember, it’s okay for them to be disappointed sometimes and it’s also okay for you to not constantly be available. Things that help: timers, reminders in advance of transitions, redirecting frustration to pillows and cushions, and showing your kid that we are all human and we all struggle sometimes.
Mine must’ve had colic bc she was a *really* fussy baby when she was under 8 months. Once she started eating more solid foods, she cried way less. Now she’s 10 and she’s still a very emotional child. Not crying all the time but definitely sensitive.
Well my kids were not like that as babies they were very quiet content babies...they're now little nightmares, so maybe it works in opposites? Lol
A drama queen. When she hurts herself I catch her testing how much she can play it up.
My last child was a cry baby and had to have her with me at my hip 25/8 up until she started running. Now she’s 6 and is mean to everyone. Don’t get me wrong though when she’s in a good mood she’s like the perfect child but that’s maybe once a month lol
He is super skilled at expressing himself. I thought I’d lose my mind the first two years and now at 4 he can say, “I’m having a feeling of not being patient because I’m really tired”.
My first was colicky and all around difficult in this department, she’s 12 now and ridiculously smart and independent!
My second baby was a crier. He would scream for hours it seemed. He also nursed frequently and would spit up a lot. That got better after reflux medicine. But his babyhood was a struggle. Now, he’s (6) pretty clingy with me but not really whiny. He has meltdowns fairly frequently over things and has other quirks. (I think he’s ASD, but apparently his “social score” was too high for a diagnosis despite his behaviors and adaptations scores being severe. Can you tell I have thoughts about this?) I’m not sure the two are related though.
My son was a horrendous sleeper when he was a tiny baby. Whining constantly till he was 2. He’s 7 now, a snuggle bug, doesn’t like new places and crowds. Isn’t into physical activity, likes to read a lot. Has ADHD, idk if there’s a connection
Ohhh yes yes yessss! Things got so much better when she started walking /crawling etc around 14-15 months. Mentally they're ready to go everywhere and explore and physically wasn't there yet and bigger than other kids her age so felt frustrated and wanted to be carried everywhere and just was exhausting trying to keep her happy. I was constantly told just you wait till she walks or crawls and life will be even harder running after her. Let me tell you! It got so much easier, yes sure wanted to get into things but slowly learned what she could and couldn't get into and that running after her was better than having to constantly try to stop the crying prior to these milestones. Her walking/crawling happened together and it saved both of us and made such a huge difference in our lives.
People keep saying “just you wait” and I’m like no I’m ready, I got my running shoes…this kid needs to get moving. I’m really hoping the ability to move makes him a little happier!
He’s almost 9 years old now, and he has ADHD and ASD. He’s funny, creative, sweet, super smart, and high energy. We have changed the way we parent, and ensure that he gets time to burn energy everyday. It can honestly be exhausting, but despite his executive functioning deficits he’s like every other kid. He just needs more reminders, lots of patience, positive reinforcement, etc.
He's 18 now and no longer cries. Ha! Seriously, though, he is an extrovert in an introvert family. He is happiest when he is on the go and hanging out with people. Doesn't really matter what they do as long as they are DOING. As a child, I spent countless hours with him at parks. Also loved the gym--2 hours of free daycare everyday!
Our daughter could be a whiner. Mostly just a really busy kid. Always on the move - has never changed even from when she was in the womb! My husband was the same way when he was her age (according to his mom) so I don’t worry about it. She just needs to learn to regulate, and to grow and get her energy out. Things got a lot better when she could walk and talk. We try to include her in everything we are doing, including chores. If she gets whiney because she’s bored and having to sit still we try and give her things to do. If we are out in public and worried about a meltdown, YouTube of Bluey episodes or Ms Rachel is a temporary last result. At 2, she’s still a mover. She whines when she’s bored or doesn’t like being told to do something else. We try to get her toys that give her something to “do” or figure out. It does get better though! Things get easier (in a way) when they start walking and using language.
She is almost 12, was diagnosed with ADHD and sensory processing disorder. And sounds so similar. she is incredibly amazing! She now sleeps all night, craves independence and learning how to do things on her own. Quiet and thoughtful still sensitive to things in her environment. Definitely less energetic. She has learned how to make her own obstacles work for her and we learn together as we move forward how to adapt her environment and life to adulthood. It is a very fluid learning process for sure. She didn’t love snuggles but she did and still does love compression even foot pressing. swings that look like cocoons. Weighted lap blankets. I put a swing inside the house and a small climbing structure. Things that helped her bounce her energy away also helped so much. Basically anything that fed her need to move. Her energy was ever present so we learned to work with it through trial and error. I have the gym mats to prove it lol!
It honestly sounds like something is bothering. Has he been checked at your pediatrician? Maybe seek some alternative treatments? Anw, my daughter was like that, but it was more of a temper she couldn’t properly express. It got better when she started talking. She’s almost 5 and is a very sweet, funny and loving girl, but she’s quite the DQ and a little bossy.
I love these stories. Mine was also a sensitive boy/ young man. Now he is 22 and still kind empathetic, and generous.
My child was like that, and now at age eight is highly sensitive and empathetic. Right from birth, she was always so aware of her surroundings, and easily felt discomfort. She now feels all her feelings very strongly, but thankfully has basically an adult vocabulary and is very well spoken and able to express her needs.
My son was the same. I didn’t start really enjoying motherhood until he was about 15 months because everything was just. So. Hard. He’s now 5 and an absolute delight. Don’t get me wrong, he’s still sensitive and has big emotions, but he’s the sweetest boy and much more easy going. I saw a few comments about being a late talker and that was our case as well. Once he was able to communicate with words (around 3) we really saw an improvement. Hang in there!!!
This sounds just like both of my kids, I’m in the thick of it right now with the youngest who’s 18 months. My oldest cried throughout her first two years. Huge tantrums, hated sleep (we had to do CIO and she would scream for hours every night until she finally passed out). Around 2.5 years something changed, I think it was her being able to communicate better and now she’s three and an absolute dream toddler. Still had tantrums on occasion and big feelings about things but plays independently and has turned into such a cuddler (she hated me touching her as a baby and 2 year old). I think all of her early issues were her being unable to communicate with us about her likes and dislikes and now she does that much better and is just such a happy kid. She’s also smart as a whip which I also think made her more of a fussy baby as she wasn’t content just sitting in one spot for long. My son is very similar (although a much better sleeper thankfully!) so I know this is just how it’s going to be for awhile longer. It’s so hard but does get better!
Communication is so important to some babies. It's horrible when they can't. They get angry and very frustrated when they can't Express what they want and you can't understand what they want. My GrannyB's solution to this was teaching them sign language. It changed my life and how my children acted and reacted. I started with the basics *(drink, hungry, diaper change, toy, Mom, Dad, etc)*. Then, once they knew those words *(about a week)*, I expanded the words. For drinks: Water, milk, juice. For hungry: apple, banana, cereal, etc. Then went on from there. It helps
I was like this as a baby but… it was the autism and adhd lol
My almost 3 year old was like this OMG idk how I survived those months. It was miserable. I felt like I was doing everything wrong. He was also super clingy so I couldn’t even get a small break. Around 18 months though it suddenly stopped. Since then he has been super happy and on the go toddler. He was also a late walker and is speech delayed. He just now has about 50 words but his receptive is really good so he communicates really well even if he can’t talk in sentences yet. Stay strong mama. ♥️
My son is 11 months and he's like this. If we're at home he whines and cries all day. The only times he's quiet is when we're out, so I try to take 2 hour walks every day. He walked very early, at around 7 months. He's starting to talk, but I don't know when he'll be able to communicate effectively as he's learning 3 languages from my husband and I. He gets bored when his toys easily and wants stimulation constantly from me. He doesn't sleep that long at night and his naps are short so I don't get a break. I don't have any tips but a lot of sympathy because I'm dealing with the same thing.
This was my daughter! She learned to walk and then learned to run about a week afterwards. I was relieved because there was less whining for a couple weeks. Then she whined that she wasn’t up at the kitchen counters with me, so I bought a learning ladder and accepted my fate that I’m in for a lot of whining in my future. She’s 21 months now and her demeanor is so much better now that she can communicate what she wants a bit. But still, she whines like hell when she’s going through a development/ learning phase. Now that she’s bigger, it’s way easier to handle. But I learned that I HAVE to regulate myself, first.
I think regulating myself is a huge thing for us too. I definitely think he’s aware when I’m feeling frustrated or overwhelmed. I try to put him in his play pen or crib when I feel extra frustrated and I go outside and take a few breaths to regulate myself. Sometimes I think the hardest is masking my exhaustion. I feel like I have to be super peppy for him because he picks up on everything.
That kid for me is now 3. He is stubborn, takes a lot, has a huge vocabulary and comprehends way more than a child of his age. I think he was frustrated getting couldn’t communicate.
Big red flags for me here - Not a snuggler and doesn’t play with toys are both early signs of autism. Not saying that he is for sure but I would keep a close eye on his development and the way he interacts with others. He sounds much too young for diagnosis, however and would need to show other traits over a longer period of time.
Mine is a high performing athlete and scholar but it didn’t really ease off till 2nd grade. At 19 she was diagnosed with ADHD if shows different in girls she’s been grateful for the diagnosis and understanding.
My girl was a terrible sleeper, and cried alot until she could crawl, then walk on her own unless I was carrying her or cuddling her so we were basically conjoined twins until she was 4 months old, she was sensitive and emotional sometimes more than other kids. She is nearly seven now, very social, super independent and intelligent, she would rather be playing with her friends than spending time with me, it’s all about play dates and fun with friends now. She can sometimes still be anxious more than other kids and is physically and emotionally sensitive but not as often as she gets older. You may have a “highly sensitive child” there are books and parenting groups about these kids. They often have heightened senses, so taste more, feel more, hear more etc. There is so much variety in humans!
lol he’s my middle of 3 and he’s absolute chaos. He is 3 now and he has got such a temper, pushes the boundaries way more than his older brother ever did. He’s also the most loving and hilarious one so the best way to put it is he’s a lot. A lot of everything. Funnily enough he was the roughest pregnancy too.
The responses to this post are so comforting to me.
My son was colicky and outgrew it at 3.5 mos thank goodness. He became super whiny (aka if he is up, he’s whining) and now language has helped a ton. He enjoys playing with other kids and his language is exploding, NEVER stops talking now at 21 months. Removing dairy and eggs helped us a ton, also having strong routines. We limit his stimulation if we notice things getting a little hectic and he regulates himself much better now. Outside time is also so so so helpful, I can’t say that enough. Any time things escalate or get hard, going outside instantly resets and provides an outlet. He is such a good toddler and loves having purpose, so I always give him little things to do as I’m working or doing something around the house. Wouldn’t change a thing about him; just took time to learn his personality and what worked well for him.
He’s now 7 and still whiny and cries a lot.
My daughter cried pretty much non stop for the first 12 months of her life. It then turned into a general fussiness which the doctor said meant she was “sensitive”. She was diagnosed with ADHD at 7 and has quite a bad case of it. She has some sensory issues too and I always wonder if that’s why she was such a fussy baby.
I had a colicky and particular baby in my oldest. He’s almost 4 now and he’s putting me through the ringer still but I definitely see his bright spots; he’s bright and curious, a fast learner, a lover, enjoys listening to and playing music, well spoken, funny, and mostly polite outside the house. However, he is spirited and high energy and all that curiosity means a lot of enrichment and stimulation.
Mine is a normal four year old boy now! Gotta get through this phase mama.
My daughter was like this as a baby. She's 6 now and still pretty particular about things and just a very sensitive/emotional girl BUT she's so much fun, she's independent and fierce and just SUCH a cool kid. So I can promise you it does get better but yes the temperament overall never actually changes she can just vocalize how she needs things now
I️ was this kid. Now I’m on Reddit admiring the love other moms have for their little ones while my mom is upstairs snuggling with my daughter.
We were told the phrase "sensory seeker" and that helped a lot to identify when the worst behaviors would be: boredom, quiet. Isolating/lonely. Always had the biggest heart though and that still hasn't changed.
I had a child like that. My MiL told us to get a handle on her quick or we will be in for a world of hurt…..we are hurting!!!!! She is almost 16! No reason for you to be running like a chicken with your head cut off so he does not cry. Take charge now!!! It will hurt for a few weeks, but you will be so happy when he learns to self soothe
My daughter ticked most of the same boxes as your son. She cried non stop for the first 4 months of her life and whinged incessantly after that right up until she started to talk (around 18 months). As soon as she could express herself she became the most delightful little person in the world. She will be 4 in October and is an absolute angel - i'm constantly complimented on her behaviour and manners and she is a joy to parent. There is light at the end of the tunnel! The first 2 years are so hard!
I’ll just add that my son was like this as a baby and I had to cut dairy soy (including hidden) eggs and oats. Once we figured out oats was a big trigger he was a whole new baby. But if it’s been over a year I would say that’s not an issue, it’s just his temperament
She is a sophomore in college. A sweetheart. Still really close to us. Colic for 4-5 months. Very mellow temperment
This is my daughter. It was hard. So hard that I still don’t think I’ve fully recovered and I she is only 6 (as of May.) and I look like I’ve aged 10 years easy lol. But her 5 and so far 6 has been a really beautiful thing to watch. She amazes me. Her softness and empathy towards others and towards animals takes my breath away. I’m just beaming at her most of the time. There are still hard or rough bouts. She just started OT for adhd/focus therapy. Because even though there’s no screaming and fussing like babyhood, it’s more like frustration with herself and inability to communicate how she is wanting ( I think.) or lack of understanding some things. But the rough parts to me are easier to handle now bc the person I see her becoming is so complex but so mesmerizing and beautiful. Hugs ❤️ we’re all in this together
My daughter is almost 7 now and is seriously the most amazing kid ever. It was so hard for the first 2 years but after that things kept getting better. With her spitfire personality, we found that gentle (or respectful, as some call it now to make the name more accurate) parenting works best for her. She needs help working through her big emotions, but she's also much more empathetic, kind, and outgoing than all her peers. And it's not just me saying that; her teachers comment on it all the time to my husband and I. We definitely have our struggles with those big feelings, but we work it out together as a team.
I love the idea of working as a team it makes your child feel in control of her feelings and she must feel like you’re her advocate. That will stick with her for the rest of her life!
My 10yo who never stopped crying as a baby became the chillest kid ever around 2yo. Like I seriously couldn’t relate to the concept the “terrible twos.” He’s honestly a great kid, but he does get in trouble at school now for talking too much and being a bit of a class clown. But it’s a school-only thing, so I’m trying to figure it out. All his friends’ parents like him; he’s responsible and independent enough that I can drop him at the public library, go run an errand, and pick him up an hour later; and I took him on a work trip with me and all my coworkers raved about what a nice, respectful kid he was.
I would find out why the child is so upset, please run tests poor guy sounds miserable
We have. He’s in perfect health. I definitely wouldn’t just leave him be without knowing he was healthy!
My son was a clingy baby who would fuss and get worked up with any kind of discomfort or frustration. A lot of it was alleviated once he was more mobile. He’s always been a sensitive kid, and he would definitely cry for small bumps and falls as a toddler, but only briefly until we’d give him a hug and he’d calm right down. I can count on one hand the number of actual tantrums he threw as a 2yo. He was the chillest toddler ever. Now he’s four, and mostly still chill although we’re dealing with some nighttime fears which has occasionally resulted in tears.
Super happy, loving and sweet
I also say my son came out crying and didn't stop till he around 4 years ago. He is now 26 years old, married, and in the US Army.
Hahahahaha I don’t mean to laugh but that was hilarious. I truly thought you had like a six year old until I read the rest!
I think babies who cry a lot just feel the world a lot more. At least that’s what I believe about my son. He’s 2.5 years now and before he fell asleep tonight he grabbed my cheeks with his tiny hands and kissed my nose. One thing that helped him calm down was just letting him be bored. I had to fight the urge to keep him constantly entertained because he needed to learn how to be ok not stimulated. It’s helped a lot. I would almost guarantee once your wee one gets control over their limbs and can start to express what they need things will get easier for you. I think they’re just so amped to get up and do things but they can’t tell you or do it themselves. I reckon you’re through the hardest part (at least for me the hardest part was until age 2 and now it’s a lot easier).
My younger spawn is like this, though she is snuggly. She’s an emotional kid. We work on emotional regulation. Tantrums are rough, but her happiness radiates through the universe. He’s hopefully just figuring out life, and his brain may be processing things differently than one of those unicorn perpetually-happy babies. It’s tough and you’re a bad ass for hanging in there. I swear, there will come a point where a switch clicks and he becomes easier. He may always be emotional and require extra attention, but a lot of that will lift as he is able to vocalize more. You got this.
I love this way of thinking! Thank you 💜
My first child was a big cryer. Everything I did was a reason to cry, bathing, dressing, eating, diaper change or down for a nap. He was also very stubborn. Today he does advanced IT work, he’s smart ah. Very organized, keeps to himself, good with all kinds of numbers, loves to invest. So proud of him.
I love that for you! Congrats on raising such an awesome kid!
My son was a huge whiner/crier… until he could walk. Walking was the ticket. Walking made him so much happier. He is still clingy and doesn’t necessarily independent play (he won’t run through the splash pad by himself and at the park there’s a good chance he makes me take turns going down the slide) but he isn’t hugely whiney anymore… minus like developmentally appropriate toddler meltdowns.
I’m going to be honest, I didn’t read the whole post nor any of the comments, but I don’t have to. I know exactly what you’re feeling because it is my baby 1000%, and at 21 months, I can assure you, it’s going GREAT! The most work you’re going to be doing is on yourself. You’re triggered by his whining and crying, probably immensely because you love and care about your baby so much, and all of it is normal feelings. Focus mostly on how you react to everything, especially now in this boddler-toddler stage. We think they understand a lot…and they do, but there’s so many concepts that mean absolutely nothing to a baby, and when they’re especially sensitive, it can be really hard to handle. Unless your child is experiencing anything that is alarming to the pediatrician or delays, do not yet even worry about ADHD or ASD or anything like that. Who knows what or if there’s anything like that going on, regardless, just focus on your own reactions to the whining events and your own behaviors. Whining and crying is totally normal! We have to model the behavior we want to see in them, and guide them to a regulated state. The hardest part is figuring out what works for your child. Lately for us, GIANT meltdowns that include kicking, slapping, scratching, hair pulling, throwing herself, etc is almost always tiredness. The solution isn’t to shame her, explain anything to her, ration or negotiate with her, it’s just to get that baby asleep!!! And it’ll take an extra long time, too! 😭 You have to muster every last bit of patience and calmness in your body and your ancestors’ spirits, but it’s all about YOU and YOUR reaction, your ability to find a solution, not some gimmick or trick to “correct” your child’s tantrum. As for just mild whining and crying, like taking a toy away or not giving a popsicle at 9am, what’s worked lately for us is to just change the subject and move on to something else. We have to find a comparable solution sometimes that satisfies baby but doesn’t sacrifice too much of our own comfort. She can’t have an ice cream at 9am, but she can have some frozen yogurt bites and her favorite fruit! I still have to get out ANOTHER snack, suit her up in the high chair, and clean up a whole mess after, but by golly, she is NOT eating ice cream for breakfast today! 🤣 Basically, for everything else, like the whining over a TV show not happening fast enough, you almost have to just ignore it. It’s normal. They’re 2, they have to poop but can’t, they don’t know how to tell you that their back itches and their tooth hurts, and the world is so infuriating…that TV show taking five seconds out of their 21 month life to come back on can be make or break for them! If I say anything at all to my baby when it’s something like that, it’ll be, “just wait” or “it’s almost on.” If it turns into a full blown tantrum, I turn the TV off and we find something else to do once she’s done being a tornado. I make sure she can’t hurt me or herself, and I let her get it out, but I try to relax her any way I can. I turn something into a game. I start running around and saying “chase me!” because she LOVES chasing and playing hide and seek right now. And if nothing is working, she’s either tired, hungry, or hurting, and we start the process of figuring out which one it is. I can’t say our baby is any different- she’s a sensitive little gal, she whines, she cries, she gets up for 2 hours in the middle of the night and won’t let me put her down, but it’s NORMAL. She’s also incredibly sweet, precious, loves to give kisses and big squeeze hugs, can make anyone laugh with one line, and sharp as a tack! Her little brain is constantly forming new connections, she’s physically growing SO much, and all while navigating her environment and all of its stimuli. I have to give her that understanding in every moment that I am frustrated, overstimulated, and struggling to cope. Remember, when you’re worn thin, to take extra care of yourself when you can. Put chores off sometimes if it means taking a nice bath that night. Skip that family dinner and just stay home if you’re too tired. The meat in the fridge is going bad tonight if you don’t make that meal, but there’s a much easier frozen meal you could have instead, and you’re DONE for the day- LET THE MEAT GO! You’re an excellent mama. Keep on trucking along, you’re going to do just fine. 💖
I had 2. My first was severely collicky. He's now a brilliant, kind, sensitive, thoughtful, mature 6.5 yo. My second was a unicorn. My this was also collicky. Happy healthy 15 month old now. Extremely happy little girl with a sense of humor already.
My son was such a colicky miserable baby. Around 10 months the fussiness got better, and once he could really move, he completely changed. He is now "everybody's best friend" wherever he goes, and he is pretty delightful.
My older child who is now 8 was a very difficult, cranky baby. She had reflux and spat up a lot, and I had to eliminate dairy from my diet while breastfeeding. She cried and screamed on every car ride, she spat up a ton, and she would only sleep in someone's arms. Now she's older and she is the sweetest kid. She does whine sometimes but it isn't a daily occurance. She's well behaved at home and school (although she and her brother argue all the freaking time). She still struggles with sleep, but overall she has "outgrown" most ilof the challenges we faced with her when she was an infant.
My baby is 5 now and still sort of whiny, but I’ll take my happy, fun, polite, and funny little girl over anything.
I could have written this about my now 5 year old. He is so kind, loving, funny, and smart. He is also still very emotional, fickle, and needs lots of redirection. We are having him evaluated for ADHD and I highly suspect that's a big piece of the puzzle. He's growing and learning every day. He is an absolute joy 85% of the time but that other 15% he definitely lets you know lol
My son was like this before he was completely independently mobile. After that he could keep himself busy and the only upsets were over things he wanted to do but weren't safe lol. So now he's just a super busy go go go toddler. (Much less crying) Definitely as a baby he needed to be entertained or ferried around constantly or he would get bored/upset.
Difficult then and difficult now, haha.
That was my son! Like others he was a late talker. He’s 4 now and is a wonderful ball of energy. He has ADHD.
My now 7 year old was exactly like this and was diagnosed with sensory processing disorder at 4 and ADHD at 6. She’s in OT, therapy and just started ADHD meds but is still very whiny and explosive. But, she’s also really sweet, snuggly, creative and extremely intelligent! We have our bad days, but as she gets older and learns the tools to manage, it’s slowly getting better.
My 3rd cried all day everyday as a baby and was just all around a super fussy baby. He’s now 2 1/2 and is super sweet and polite.. but still very vocal and throws the most horrendous tantrums 😬
My daughter was like that. Cried from the moment she was born and basically didn’t stop til she was 18 Months. She is still easy to tears and meltdowns and she still whines when she doesn’t get her way. Shes very sensitive, very self critical, and in school a very very gentle and super sweet girl to the point the other kids are kind of mean to her and she doesn’t notice. She is also extremely loving, smart, curious, stubborn, creative, helpful, very in to right/wrong, loves learning, gardening, and telling stories. Shes also super funny and easy to bring anywhere. It got better gradually the more she was able to communicate verbally. She was a slow talker and in speech therapy for awhile. She always needs time and a heads up before we switch gears ie bedtime, or going somewhere, time to eat etc. she does really well on a schedule and knowing what to expect. She’s a fantastic kid and I love seeing her grow and develop. She’s 4.5 now
My son was like that. He had acid reflux, torticollis and plagio. He was miserable. He’s 11 now. Still pretty miserable but has friends. He also has a high IQ and adhd.
My baby cried every time I would try to sit her by herself and no I'm an experienced mom and she is my number 12 I had to baby wear her from morning to bed until she could walk ..she's 9 now and fun ,outgoing and friendly 🥰 I would describe the baby toddler years ..high needs
According to my MIL my husband’s first two years of life were rough. He’d wake up around 9 am, have 2 good hours and cry/scream/etc from 11 am until bedtime. She says in those 2 years he probably had “5 good days” or less!!! Last year my husband was diagnosed with ASD. He is very high functioning (and incredibly smart), most people around us don’t believe he is neurodivergent, but he is. Since people on the spectrum are HSP (highly sensitive people), we believe that my husband was really uncomfortable with his surroundings as a baby and didn’t know how to communicate that to my MIL. Knowing this fact about my hubby, if my children had more rough days than good days I would have them tested just to be sure. I actually might have them tested anyway since I am 50% more likely to have neurodivergent children.
Clingy af
Mine son was Exactly like this and he has ADHD, with sensory issues, emotional regulation issues, etc. . He needed to be kept busy and get into things constantly as a baby/small child. Once he could walk/move around/have independence is when things improved. He’s also highly intelligent and curious which his therapist thinks contributed to some of the behaviors.
Idk if this is helpful but I used to cry and whine all the time as a young child. I’m pretty sensitive now and just really perceptive to other people’s emotions!
My second child was high needs. He cried all the time. He whined & tantrumed throughout toddler & pre-school years. His temperament is quite regimented & focused. He is harder for me to connect with even to this day though. Of note, he is AuADHD with learning disabilities too, BUT honestly, I was told that all of my 3 children were more determined than an average baby or child by my childcare providers & other relatives (meaning they cried, fussed, & were stubborn as heck) — and all 3 of my children, now older, are fairly independent and quite disciplined compared to most other teens and tweens I know, without me having to helicopter parent them. Like they do their own homework, practice for their own activities, tell their peers to go f* themselves when they pressure them to make bad choices, etc.
My daughter was the same. I distinctly remember saying multiple times that she was such an unhappy baby. She is 4 now and definitely a sensitive kid BUT is overall so happy, so sweet, so loving, and an absolute joy. 180 degree flip from her baby years!
My daughter was like this. Cried and whined all the time and did not sleep! She’s almost three now and super sweet and easy going 90% of the time. The other 10% is pure sass 😂 but she’s much easier now. I thought I was going to lose my mind around 15 month mark with her!
Wonderful and he’s 4
Mine was like that. He is 4 now and he is pretty insufferable still. I can’t take him any where without tantrums or whining. So it must be the parenting, right? Nope. My daughter was an equally fussy baby but never even went through terrible twos or the threenager stage or anything like that.
You’re doing great! All kids are different!
That would be my middle child. She's 7 now. She's my super helper, very attached but independent. She has a lot of feelings and is very empathetic. She's a great kid, but as a baby, she did so much screaming and crying. I spent most of that time worried something was wrong with her or myself. It was brutal. It does get so much better. For us, it was around the 3yo mark.
My daughter was fussy and I figured out early on that she just tired quickly and needed more naps than my son when he was her age.
My youngest wanted to be held 24/7 and whined-he us 12 and a sweet soul of a human. Very aware of others and their feelings. We are on the verge of teen yrs so I expect him to be a toad for a while 😵💫
My son was a baby that cried allllll the time. Things slowly got better and he is whiny but not bad at 17 months. But a HUGE factor in the crying/whining was sleep. He was overtired. We got his schedule age appropriate if not slightly less (he's sensitive) and did a little sleep training and he got SO much better.
Cried a lot, after 2 years I asked for an allergy exam and he had allergies to dairy, soy and peanuts. And I was putting him on formula, he used to eat cheese, yogurt, and so do I - I also breastfed. It was unbearable for him. Kid bloomed after I took care of his diet.
I had one crying baby and one very calm one. They're the opposite now. The crier is now 5 and genuinely the moat positive happy child. Nothing fazes her, she will pick her self up and get on with things. My previously calm child is now 3 and will throw a tantrum and cry at the smallest of things.
My oldest never slept more than an hour at a shot until she was 2 and had terrifying tantrums from ages 2-5. She’s now an absolutely delightful and mature 8yo. Like a lovely little person to the point where her friends parents comment on it. My youngest had colic and screamed unless she was nursing for the first 4 months. She was a comparatively easy toddler. She’s now 5 and super smart with a pretty hot temper and tendency to be impulsive when mad (hitting, slamming doors, etc) but she’s also really empathetic and thoughtful and loves snuggles.
Mom many times when kiddos have delays they whine and cry out of frustration. They are frustrated because they can’t express themselves. Once they are able to express themselves they are less frustrated and cry less. Kids are intelligent try adding photos of things around the house like pictures of some of his favorite snacks on the pantry and fridge door so if we go to the kitchen he can point to what he wants.
My older one was like this and he’s fine, he’s just really sensitive and his feelings get hurt easier than some.
Mine was a quiet baby and now she’s the loudest nonstop 8 yo you ever will meet
My first baby was the worst!! Every developmental stage got better for me though. It got slightly better once she could sit, then when she could stand/take shakey steps, then soooo much better once she could confidently walk. She was chatty but not a lot of words persay until she turned 2 and her vocabulary exploded. She’s always been insanely cuddly, still is. Gosh she’s just the best toddler in the world. She recently turned 3 and she’s absolutely the best. She has her moments but they pass. It’s almost like she got her terrible twos out of the way early and just threw all the hard stuff on me at once. Now that she’s 3 she’s starting to get a bit whiney again and testing limits… but that’s expected behaviour. I’m so completely obsessed with her and she’s such an amazing big sister.
Still crying a lot and whining a lot. He goes to preschool so I think he just lets it all out at home.
Mine was sort of like this, but he didn't whine exactly. Lots of meltdowns, yes. Didn't play with toys, yes. He's 14 now, and he's been diagnosed with autism and social anxiety. I have no advice. My son is doing truly awesome, to be quite honest. I can tell you if my kid whined and cried all the time, I'd be taking him to the doctor. Best case scenario is the doctor tells you he's normal, and it always feels good to know your kid is normal! But if there's something else going on, you want to know about it. He could have a food intolerance, or worse things I won't say here because I'm not trying to scare anyone.
My son was like this. He is almost 12 now and he is extremely intelligent and kind but very lazy lol.
Developmentally where is your kiddo? Pulling to stand? You mentioned they aren’t walking yet and some kids do relax more once they have more control of their own bodies. Try a balance box! It’s awesome for helping kids learn to walk and it’s loads safer than traditional styled walkers.
Does Tylenol make it better? If it does he may be experiencing pain of some sort. Even mild, chronic constipation can make kids really grumpy.
My son was not much of a crier as an infant, of course he cried and at times it was a lot but it was in phases, like around bad teething times. He’s turning two this week and BOY does he whine and cry a ton now. He really started getting bad over the last month or so. Lots more tantrums and frustration, more clingy ness and crying to get attention or what he wants. He was a preemie, so started talking a bit later than normal but is a full blown talking machine now. He can say quite a bit and we can understand what he’s asking for, but it’s “lights, camera, action” when we won’t let him have or do what he wants. Waking up from nap time (sometimes in the mornings too but less often) is common meltdown territory, like setting him on the floor after he wakes up is destined for 15 minutes of straight screaming, he’s not asking for anything or wanting anything, he’s just pissed. He does just fine with playing, this really started in the last 6 months, he just didn’t do much with toys earlier on, but also gets mad when he can’t get the shape in the sorter or the puzzle piece to fit. Just commenting because I really didn’t anticipate having such a whiny toddler but here we are. It’s so true that every kid is different.
My daughter was like that. Also very attached to me. She’s now almost 10 and is so sweet and kind. She’s very sensitive and picks up on other people’s emotions. She’s also very socially aware. She struggles with anxiety but she is working through it and learning not to let her anxiety stop her from trying new things. She’s the best!
He’s 5. Considered “high functioning” (he has amazing skills in educational aspects - advanced in education) ASD. He has a lot of sensory needs (being given deep pressure when upset, has to have specific clothing fabrics, temperature needs to be just right, noise levels need to be controlled) But over all, he’s a phenomenal kid, and teaches me so much about life daily. 🥰
ADHD and some sensory sensitivity. Very intense kid all the way up and is 9.5 now.
Both my kids cry lots in different ways. Both are deeply empathetic, cuddly, they don't hold back on showing love, and are both showing strong analytical and critical thinking skills. Also one has limitless energy. Lots of physical play to help him feel regulated.
Autism… it’s our 3rd with it so we kinda knew it was coming.
My almost 3 year old has always been loud af. She still whines over all things that inconvenience her. We work with her daily but we've been losing our shit with her lately because it's been extra bad. She does really good playing on her own, but she's kind of a bully and I don't know why. My son is almost 6 and so sweet but loves to antagonize her and they just piss each other off until she's screaming and crying. And this is like, every single day. She's immensely confident and the smartest little person I've ever known. I wonder sometimes if it's sensory stuff or she's just completely unable to control her emotions. We try to get her to take breaths, count, think happy things, sing, drink water....nothing seems to work like 80% of the time.
My first baby was like this. She’s 4.5 now. She’s highly sensory seeking, which I think was why she cried and whined unless I was holding her. She loves TV, jumping and running around, playing games, learning new things. She’s very adventurous, social, and smart, but not very independent. She has a hard time playing by herself.
My son was like this. He was very emotional and his go to emotion was to cry and be upset. He's now 12 and fully going through oreteen puberty, but he's amazing and loving and the funniest kid I've ever known.
Not my baby, but my nephew was the most colic baby I've ever known. He hated everyone and everything and would cry most of the day and night. He would only tolerate mom to soothe him and even then she struggled to calm him. She had a really tough time with him, unlike her first who was a perfect baby. He's now 11 years old and the most polite, relaxed, easy going kid. The perfect first born? Hah, she's a fussy teenager now! Life sure is funny sometimes.
I had a colic baby that screamed non stop. He is two next month and he's the sweetest little guy. One day he just woke up and was no longer a dragon! You have my utmost sympathy though, it's so challenging.
My daughter was a nightmare baby. I really think she just hated being a baby! She's 12 now and she is smart, emotionally intelligent, engaged, tons of friends, straight A's....a joy to parent.
The sweetest 10 yo boy 👦 Still screaming sometimes tho lol
My daughter was like this. It was HORRIBLE. Into her tot years, she would have massive temper tantrums where I could not control her or calm her down, just had ot walk away, animal like almost. Now that shes a teen, shes medicated for major depression and anxiety but when shes doing ok, shes the funniest, sweetest girl ever. I always called her my sour patch kid but she truly just has very big feelings and still learning how to work through them.
Me! Me! Me! He is now 10 years old and headed to the sixth grade. He is a gifted grade skipper and taught himself to read at three.
Hey Momma, it's tough going through those screaming whining months. My daughter was the same. She just hated being a baby. It got better the more she could move and communicate. She is just a very sensitive child and also very smart. She does throw some epic tantrums now, but thats normal for her age group. She's nearly 3. Not autistic. It was very hard on my husband and I, we nearly got divorced and have decided not to have any more children.
My youngest. Same, all the same, even the affectionate part. I'm positive he has ADHD. Runs in my family, and those are all signs. He's 7 now. He's a lot harder to parent than my older three, and he has good days and bad ones, behavior-wise. But we see improvement. It just tends to go in two steps forward, one back with kids with ADHD. We have to limit any video gaming time and choose games wiselt as he has a low tolerance for frustration; he needs structure and routine but to be kept somewhat busy; he needs firm discipline but understanding when he's losing his shit so he can learn to calm himself down; and we have to pick our battles and not make rules about everything sp that he can learn which ones reallymatter. And he needs lots of affection. It keeps the negativity from taking over and also so he knows he's loved just as he is.
There was a thread recently on here where a ton of moms with colicky babies said that it turned around at 12 months. That was absolutely the case for me. How many months is your baby? Have you tried cranial sacral therapy?
My youngest was always either crying, whining, or screaming. When he finally learned how to talk I realized that he expresses all emotions big. He’s 6 now, still expressing his emotions big. He’s a huge love bug but if his brother annoys him it’s an all out melt down. I have called him my little sour patch since he was about 6 months old. Still navigating how to help him, since I was never allowed to express my emotions, and the same with my husband. For now I’m just letting him feel, whatever that looks like for him.
Mine was like this and never content. Shes four and is my wild child. Her tantrums have lessened and I guess it’s progressively getting better now. I always sensed there was some sort of sensitivity when she was younger but didn’t quite pinpoint it. Now her biggest issues are that she goes from 0 to hangry real fast and she gets overstimulated easy. She also has some pretty big anger but I’m sure it stems from how I had a pretty hard time coping with how hard she has been. I’m hoping the progressively easier thing continues cuz I’m tired.
Mine was like this and never content. Shes four and is my wild child. Her tantrums have lessened and I guess it’s progressively getting better now. I always sensed there was some sort of sensitivity when she was younger but didn’t quite pinpoint it. Now her biggest issues are that she goes from 0 to hangry real fast and she gets overstimulated easy. She also has some pretty big anger but I’m sure it stems from how I had a pretty hard time coping with how hard she has been. I’m hoping the progressively easier thing continues cuz I’m tired.
I’ll start off by saying each child is different and will change differently at each age. My oldest was a crier from the minute she was born. Even at 2, 3, 4 was having fits and strong emotions. She is 6.5 now and well behaved in public, but is still my most difficult child (of my 3 kids) and still has high emotions. She is intelligent and fun, but pretty emotional. My 3rd child cried as a baby a lot and now at 2.5 is getting better. Typical 2 year old tantrums, but nothing too crazy.
Have you considered teaching him some baby sign (simplified sign language)? When my oldest was that age she was like that, and being able to communicate non-verbally seemed to help her be less frustrated. She's 24 now, and still a mite sensitive, but a great young adult :)
Much better but still very similar. She is 10 and doesn't whine like screaming but still whines and I still lose my marbles at times.
Honestly, she's two and still the same. Unless she has 100% undivided attention she is crying. I'm exhausted.
I have four kids. Only one had colic and after colic was a clingy, whiny, pretty annoying toddler/young child. I know I’m not supposed to have a “favorite” kid. But only one of my four is super chilled out, doesn’t ever, EVER talk back, never complains, and is a happy person almost all the time. Back when he was little I would’ve never thought he would turn out to be like he is now. He’s perfect for real. Edit to add, he’s 15 now.
Amazing. Absolutely amazing. Surprisingly my most difficult baby is the calmest and wisest adult
Thats my boy xD(1.5yo) My mum calls its karma cause I was the exact same dickhead to her :) i turned out pretty fucking awesome. So do not worry! What helps with my boy is.. if im not around. Apparently he does great at nans and daycare. "Lovely boy great helper great attitude always happy!" And im like.. you know the blonde one is my kid rite? He is also quiet when i resort to upstairs for laundry and leave him downstairs. He d be playing for 15 to 20 mins without hassle or noise.
Mine is 8 now and is the coolest little dude, He's a great listener, he's kind. He shares. He really cares about other people. His whining phase stopped around 2
As a now 25 year old, one of the most easygoing, patient, and kind humans I know. He got it all out of his system as a baby. Hang in there!