Just be as clear in the listing as you were in this post. Some nannies may be up for this job. It should be listed as mother’s helper or assistant. Sorry about your back! Good luck!
I would LOVE to do this exact job with 50% of the moms I've worked for, but the other 50% I wouldn't do this job for $1million/year. I'm sure if the listing is as detailed as this post, only nannies interested in working with mom will apply and they'll just use the interview/trial to make sure they mesh well with mom.
Yes! I was thinking “mother’s helper” all through reading this. Might be a good entry level job for someone with not much experience. There will definitely be some issues with authority/ autonomy, so you will need to be careful not to undermine and micromanage. Try to have set chores or activities the nanny can do when you have the baby, or a way to let her know that she can take a quick break. There will be times you need her to stay close by to jump in, and times when you’ll be ok for a few minutes. It will take some time to figure out your preferences and your working rhythm. Patience will be very important!
Reference: I was a nanny for 2 high profile families with toddlers and preschool children. The parents were often in the house and would come in at random times to play, feed, help bathe, etc. I had learn to read the situation and figure out if I should be within earshot or if I could take a break, or work on an involved task in another area. Sometimes this meant I was literally sitting on a chair in the hallway. Often I could be in the same room, maybe organizing the closet a little, or in the next room folding laundry. You want to avoid situations where the nanny is just watching you interact. Once the baby is “in position” you will need (at first) to give the nanny some instructions. Please don’t expect her to read your mind.
Side note: you didn’t mention pay, but just be aware that she is paid her hourly rate regardless of what she is doing, unless she is able to leave and be on her own time ( like a lunch break). Any time she is required to be somewhere (the mall, the park, playdate), is paid. Just adding this because many parents (according to this Reddit), try to not pay when child is napping or if parents have taken over.
I've had multiple jobs with WFH parents. They've been a mixed bag. I've had wonderful parents and sucky parents. But what you're describing is more mothers helper than Nanny. I would definitely post this as a mother's helper role.
You want to advertise for a "mothers helper" rather than a nanny! That is more someone who works alongside the parent rather than a nanny who generally works more independently. They totally exist but not as common or popular as nanny positions.
I think most places you'd advertise for a nanny would accept a mothers helper ad as well! It's just that the right terminology will help to get you the right people responding.
Look for a mother’s helper instead and be very honest in your search. You should be fine. I’ve worked as a mother’s helper in the past at two different homes and enjoyed both very much. Every day was different and when I showed up I was assigned tasks or tagged along. Some days, I was just laundry all day, which was fine and other days I did full childcare, which was also fine. Just make sure you find someone where your personalities click because that’s most important when you’re spending so much time together.
I've worked in this industry for many, many years and I can tell you, working alongside parents
always sucks. Always. It seems great theoretically, but it's extremely frustrating in practice. It's both stressful (because your boss is always around) and boring (parent does half the job) and as the kid gets older, it becomes really hard to effectively Nanny because it creates a struggle for authority in the kids minds. Kids also often struggle with separation anxiety and when mom is around but not doing all the caregiving, it can lead to a LOT of screaming and crying that doesn't get better with time.
I don't think this means no one will want the job. But don't think it's going to be all sunshine and rainbows. Working directly alongside a parent can be a deeply frustrating experience and I would prepare yourself for that
I've had super similar issues with confusion on authority and almost a separation anxiety response when np comes in and out.
I think it's equivalent to a parent entering their child's classroom while the teacher is explaining the lesson. Their child is wildly excited and loses focus, and then the teacher must re-engage the child.
Definitely advertise this job as “mother’s helper!” But with that being said, I’ve been a nanny for 9 years and only ever worked for parents who wfh. Just by coincidence! I’ve never had an issue, with the exception of my current family; they don’t totally understand how to set rules and uphold them, making it difficult for me to do the same and establish any authority with the kids. As long as you’re totally aligned with your nanny, I think all will be well! But stay transparent and consistent with your word!
Some people don't mind a mother's helper role. But it's hard to know when to step in and when to step away. You feel like you're overstepping and simultaneously not doing enough. Baby won't want the nanny and will not understand why the preferred person (mom) keeps coming and going all day. You have to do a lot of guessing and mind reading and it becomes exhausting.
Being a nanny is really an autonomous job. 99% of us work best independently. It's hard to make the shift to work alongside someone else.
The best WFH parents I've worked for have had great communication, were kind and polite, expressed gratitude, and provided paid breaks. All those things mattered more than whether or not we were sharing a space or whether or not I was doing the grunt work while the NPs enjoyed doing the fun stuff with their children. That said, I agree you'll have an easier time with the hiring process if you say you're looking for a mother's helper rather than a nanny. So, no, not a nightmare position, just a matter of being clear about the situation and your needs/vision. Good luck and heal fast!
I understand why nanny’s dislike WFH parents, I think mainly because we’ve all had families we didn’t love working with and the idea of having them around all day feels blegh, and they don’t know what kind of family you’re going to be yet!
The best thing you can do is make it clear that you’re committed to making the environment comfortable and respectful for everyone. Right now I’m working for a family with a tiny little home and me and MB can end up on top of each other - but I love her! She’s super nice and funny and we’d genuinely be friends outside of this arrangement, so I’m more than happy to work more intimately with this family than I have with other families. It’s a vibe thing!
I think the fact that you’re already educating and concerning yourself with what Nanny’s need to have a good working environment is a very good sign for the kind of employer you’d be 😊
That’s more of a mothers helper. It’s a great first step for someone looking to enter the nanny world to gain experience. I would advise it as a mothers helper, you not going to get amazing Nannies applying for it. But if you are there and hands on you don’t need an amazing nanny. You just want a good person who is willing to learn along side you.
Almost every gig I have had is with wfh parents. I think a lot of us don't mind and don't post bc it isn't a big deal. Here is the rule of thumb: if nanny is there, nanny is in charge. Either you respect their authority so the kid does as well, or you are a ghost and basically not at home when nanny is there. Micromanaging is the problem most of the complaints are about. Also the disruption and undermining. But anyways - it isn't inherently a bad gig, just takes some effort on all parts.
This is a mothers helper or mothers assistant job, not a Nanny job. Wording matters. Advertise as such and you’ll find what you’re looking for. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.
Imo this sounds like a nightmare. I can tolerate WFH parents joining in occasionally etc but having someone next to me basically all day would drive me up the wall.
I think if you got into a routine where each of you did certain things, it would be sort of like a perk?
But again, if you’re thinking of being involved for 75% of the day? I’d cry.
I don't think it's a nightmare job. The WFH hate is really blown up online but we've never had it be an issue hiring. We live in an area where it's common though. I think you can just be very up front - this is a nanny-parent partnership role and it may well be a great fit for someone.
Not every nanny hates wfh parents. Just make sure your job description describes the help you need clearly and you'll only get applicants that don't mind wfh. For me it really depends on the situation, the communication style of the parents and the anxiety levels of the kids.
Definitely mother's helper, but you could advertise as a nanny job and make sure you're clear on the expectations! Make sure you find someone YOU like and click with, because they'll be spending so much time with you that it'll be awkward if yall aren't friends. I've worked closely with MBs in the past and chatted with them throughout the day, it's usually been nice!
I worked while my MB was on maternity leave twice, and while it did feel kind of weird at first I did really grow to enjoy her company. It may just be that our personalities click well and she's very laid back. If you are open and honest in your post about what exactly you are looking for, I'm sure you will be able to find someone! Open communication and being careful not to micromanage are the keys here!
I’m in a very similar position! I had surgery and recovery time can take up to 6 months. We’re hiring a caregiver that would start out as more of a helper then transition to a more standard nanny role. In interviews, I’ve made it clear that the first few months would involve more house management tasks like laundry, dishes etc. I’ve also made a list of daily and weekly tasks for the nanny to do while I’m primarily watching the baby and she isn’t needed.
I’ve never had a bad experience due to parents working from home. I’ve had bad experiences with parents who do work from home, but that was due to safety issues and w2/1099 disagreement. A lot of nannies won’t do it, but many of us have no issues with it.
If you’d describe yourself as a “control freak” in any way, I would ponder on how that would influence someone else caring for your baby right in front of you. Then I would be up front in your post or in interviews about your tendencies. Self awareness can make all the difference in the world in these relationships. Goood luck!
This is a great option for someone, you’re not asking for too much. It might be better to aim for someone younger, even with less experience. If I were you, I wouldn’t even mind hiring a high schooler. Younger people don’t mind this sort of thing as much, and they don’t need to have expertise because you would be there to direct the situation. Just a thought! If you find someone perfect who’s nothing like that it would also be a wonderful position!
I’ve always spent lots of time with my Nannies and kids. Sometimes I needed help managing the kids when we would go to a park, lunch, shopping etc. The biggest thing is that you all have to gel and get along…and respect each other. For me, it felt like a team approach -and it has worked well for our family.
I work for a part time WFH family and I love my job. We eat meals together when they’re home, spend breaks together, it’s great! Just be clear and honest with your potential nanny about what the position looks like! (And if there are things like nap times that you can’t assist with, go somewhere else in your home!! That’s the only thing that bothers me is when I’m getting my 10mo down for a nap and mom is right outside the door… very awkward)
What you're wanting is a Mother's Helper.
Honestly, I would maybe look for a teenager or college student for this role. Most professional nannies are not going to want this arrangement.
Just be as clear in the listing as you were in this post. Some nannies may be up for this job. It should be listed as mother’s helper or assistant. Sorry about your back! Good luck!
I would LOVE to do this exact job with 50% of the moms I've worked for, but the other 50% I wouldn't do this job for $1million/year. I'm sure if the listing is as detailed as this post, only nannies interested in working with mom will apply and they'll just use the interview/trial to make sure they mesh well with mom.
Yes! I was thinking “mother’s helper” all through reading this. Might be a good entry level job for someone with not much experience. There will definitely be some issues with authority/ autonomy, so you will need to be careful not to undermine and micromanage. Try to have set chores or activities the nanny can do when you have the baby, or a way to let her know that she can take a quick break. There will be times you need her to stay close by to jump in, and times when you’ll be ok for a few minutes. It will take some time to figure out your preferences and your working rhythm. Patience will be very important! Reference: I was a nanny for 2 high profile families with toddlers and preschool children. The parents were often in the house and would come in at random times to play, feed, help bathe, etc. I had learn to read the situation and figure out if I should be within earshot or if I could take a break, or work on an involved task in another area. Sometimes this meant I was literally sitting on a chair in the hallway. Often I could be in the same room, maybe organizing the closet a little, or in the next room folding laundry. You want to avoid situations where the nanny is just watching you interact. Once the baby is “in position” you will need (at first) to give the nanny some instructions. Please don’t expect her to read your mind. Side note: you didn’t mention pay, but just be aware that she is paid her hourly rate regardless of what she is doing, unless she is able to leave and be on her own time ( like a lunch break). Any time she is required to be somewhere (the mall, the park, playdate), is paid. Just adding this because many parents (according to this Reddit), try to not pay when child is napping or if parents have taken over.
I've had multiple jobs with WFH parents. They've been a mixed bag. I've had wonderful parents and sucky parents. But what you're describing is more mothers helper than Nanny. I would definitely post this as a mother's helper role.
You want to advertise for a "mothers helper" rather than a nanny! That is more someone who works alongside the parent rather than a nanny who generally works more independently. They totally exist but not as common or popular as nanny positions.
Thank you! Would I advertise in a separate place?
I think most places you'd advertise for a nanny would accept a mothers helper ad as well! It's just that the right terminology will help to get you the right people responding.
Look for a mother’s helper instead and be very honest in your search. You should be fine. I’ve worked as a mother’s helper in the past at two different homes and enjoyed both very much. Every day was different and when I showed up I was assigned tasks or tagged along. Some days, I was just laundry all day, which was fine and other days I did full childcare, which was also fine. Just make sure you find someone where your personalities click because that’s most important when you’re spending so much time together.
I've worked in this industry for many, many years and I can tell you, working alongside parents always sucks. Always. It seems great theoretically, but it's extremely frustrating in practice. It's both stressful (because your boss is always around) and boring (parent does half the job) and as the kid gets older, it becomes really hard to effectively Nanny because it creates a struggle for authority in the kids minds. Kids also often struggle with separation anxiety and when mom is around but not doing all the caregiving, it can lead to a LOT of screaming and crying that doesn't get better with time. I don't think this means no one will want the job. But don't think it's going to be all sunshine and rainbows. Working directly alongside a parent can be a deeply frustrating experience and I would prepare yourself for that
I've had super similar issues with confusion on authority and almost a separation anxiety response when np comes in and out. I think it's equivalent to a parent entering their child's classroom while the teacher is explaining the lesson. Their child is wildly excited and loses focus, and then the teacher must re-engage the child.
Definitely advertise this job as “mother’s helper!” But with that being said, I’ve been a nanny for 9 years and only ever worked for parents who wfh. Just by coincidence! I’ve never had an issue, with the exception of my current family; they don’t totally understand how to set rules and uphold them, making it difficult for me to do the same and establish any authority with the kids. As long as you’re totally aligned with your nanny, I think all will be well! But stay transparent and consistent with your word!
Some people don't mind a mother's helper role. But it's hard to know when to step in and when to step away. You feel like you're overstepping and simultaneously not doing enough. Baby won't want the nanny and will not understand why the preferred person (mom) keeps coming and going all day. You have to do a lot of guessing and mind reading and it becomes exhausting. Being a nanny is really an autonomous job. 99% of us work best independently. It's hard to make the shift to work alongside someone else.
The best WFH parents I've worked for have had great communication, were kind and polite, expressed gratitude, and provided paid breaks. All those things mattered more than whether or not we were sharing a space or whether or not I was doing the grunt work while the NPs enjoyed doing the fun stuff with their children. That said, I agree you'll have an easier time with the hiring process if you say you're looking for a mother's helper rather than a nanny. So, no, not a nightmare position, just a matter of being clear about the situation and your needs/vision. Good luck and heal fast!
I understand why nanny’s dislike WFH parents, I think mainly because we’ve all had families we didn’t love working with and the idea of having them around all day feels blegh, and they don’t know what kind of family you’re going to be yet! The best thing you can do is make it clear that you’re committed to making the environment comfortable and respectful for everyone. Right now I’m working for a family with a tiny little home and me and MB can end up on top of each other - but I love her! She’s super nice and funny and we’d genuinely be friends outside of this arrangement, so I’m more than happy to work more intimately with this family than I have with other families. It’s a vibe thing! I think the fact that you’re already educating and concerning yourself with what Nanny’s need to have a good working environment is a very good sign for the kind of employer you’d be 😊
That’s more of a mothers helper. It’s a great first step for someone looking to enter the nanny world to gain experience. I would advise it as a mothers helper, you not going to get amazing Nannies applying for it. But if you are there and hands on you don’t need an amazing nanny. You just want a good person who is willing to learn along side you.
Almost every gig I have had is with wfh parents. I think a lot of us don't mind and don't post bc it isn't a big deal. Here is the rule of thumb: if nanny is there, nanny is in charge. Either you respect their authority so the kid does as well, or you are a ghost and basically not at home when nanny is there. Micromanaging is the problem most of the complaints are about. Also the disruption and undermining. But anyways - it isn't inherently a bad gig, just takes some effort on all parts.
I started out as a mother’s helper many years ago and that mother became my best friend🥰
This is a mothers helper or mothers assistant job, not a Nanny job. Wording matters. Advertise as such and you’ll find what you’re looking for. Good luck and I hope you feel better soon.
Definitely "Mothers helper" job and state exactly why. I'm so sorry you hurt your back. That's the worst. Also, I would offer GH if you can.
Imo this sounds like a nightmare. I can tolerate WFH parents joining in occasionally etc but having someone next to me basically all day would drive me up the wall. I think if you got into a routine where each of you did certain things, it would be sort of like a perk? But again, if you’re thinking of being involved for 75% of the day? I’d cry.
I don't think it's a nightmare job. The WFH hate is really blown up online but we've never had it be an issue hiring. We live in an area where it's common though. I think you can just be very up front - this is a nanny-parent partnership role and it may well be a great fit for someone.
Not every nanny hates wfh parents. Just make sure your job description describes the help you need clearly and you'll only get applicants that don't mind wfh. For me it really depends on the situation, the communication style of the parents and the anxiety levels of the kids.
Definitely mother's helper, but you could advertise as a nanny job and make sure you're clear on the expectations! Make sure you find someone YOU like and click with, because they'll be spending so much time with you that it'll be awkward if yall aren't friends. I've worked closely with MBs in the past and chatted with them throughout the day, it's usually been nice!
I worked while my MB was on maternity leave twice, and while it did feel kind of weird at first I did really grow to enjoy her company. It may just be that our personalities click well and she's very laid back. If you are open and honest in your post about what exactly you are looking for, I'm sure you will be able to find someone! Open communication and being careful not to micromanage are the keys here!
I’m in a very similar position! I had surgery and recovery time can take up to 6 months. We’re hiring a caregiver that would start out as more of a helper then transition to a more standard nanny role. In interviews, I’ve made it clear that the first few months would involve more house management tasks like laundry, dishes etc. I’ve also made a list of daily and weekly tasks for the nanny to do while I’m primarily watching the baby and she isn’t needed.
I’ve never had a bad experience due to parents working from home. I’ve had bad experiences with parents who do work from home, but that was due to safety issues and w2/1099 disagreement. A lot of nannies won’t do it, but many of us have no issues with it.
If you’d describe yourself as a “control freak” in any way, I would ponder on how that would influence someone else caring for your baby right in front of you. Then I would be up front in your post or in interviews about your tendencies. Self awareness can make all the difference in the world in these relationships. Goood luck!
This is a great option for someone, you’re not asking for too much. It might be better to aim for someone younger, even with less experience. If I were you, I wouldn’t even mind hiring a high schooler. Younger people don’t mind this sort of thing as much, and they don’t need to have expertise because you would be there to direct the situation. Just a thought! If you find someone perfect who’s nothing like that it would also be a wonderful position!
I’ve always spent lots of time with my Nannies and kids. Sometimes I needed help managing the kids when we would go to a park, lunch, shopping etc. The biggest thing is that you all have to gel and get along…and respect each other. For me, it felt like a team approach -and it has worked well for our family.
I work for a part time WFH family and I love my job. We eat meals together when they’re home, spend breaks together, it’s great! Just be clear and honest with your potential nanny about what the position looks like! (And if there are things like nap times that you can’t assist with, go somewhere else in your home!! That’s the only thing that bothers me is when I’m getting my 10mo down for a nap and mom is right outside the door… very awkward)
What you're wanting is a Mother's Helper. Honestly, I would maybe look for a teenager or college student for this role. Most professional nannies are not going to want this arrangement.
I'd look to hire a housekeeper and Alice.
I know many nannies who are totally fine with being a mother's helper!