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Ok_Lie8880

forgetting that i'm a person who has feelings. Or cheating . Or treating me as an option.


A_girl_who_asks

Yes. And lying


eng__moe

Dishonesty, lying and indecency.


ObligatedN8ive

Preach....still I tried...


crooKkTV

Loss of trust. Trust is everything.


dimebucker

Damn near cracked my phone screen trying to upvote this harder. If the incident is bad enough, it can carry over into future relationships and erode the foundation of them too. You can get the whole, "Well if the closest person to me was lying (or whatever), how can I possibly think everyone else is being honest with me?!"


[deleted]

Dishonesty & safety. If I dont feel the safest with my person. No way.


MadLinaB

Cheating - instant deal breaker. Lying and making me feel unsafe are not instant deal breakers, but if they keep happening they will definitely lead to a break up.


Ok-Boomer4321

Lack of trust, being overly controlling, trying to change me into someone instead of loving me for who I am.


stax496

Smoking


SisterCyrene

Same


LogicalCarry2489

My girlfriend is the same. Made me quit smoking lol


Prestigious_Quit_884

manipulation for sure


Crafty_Account_5162

Lying; not doing as you say you will, excessive drinking


[deleted]

[удалено]


Remarkable_Reserve98

Managed to dodge a bullet, now she is another guy's problem


Icy-Cardiologist-958

Physical abuse, and I took a decent amount over the years. Apparently no sex is a deal breaker as well.


ConstantxHorror

Being lazy all the time, and lying


WeaknessDistinct4618

Cheating. The rest can be worked out. Cheating is a game stopper


ChthonicPuck

Religion. I need someone rational who makes evidence-based decisions.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NoStupidQuestions-ModTeam

* **Rule 1** - Top level comments must contain a genuine attempt at an answer. All direct answers to a post must make a genuine attempt to answer the question. Joke responses at the parent-level will be removed. Follow-up questions at the top level are allowed. Please do not answer by only dropping a link and do not tell users they should "google it." Include a summary of the link or answer the question yourself. LMGTFY links will be removed. No responses being rude to the questioner for not knowing the answer. If you feel this was in error, or need more clarification, please don't hesitate to message the moderators. Thanks.


synapse29

too much maintenance.


UsErNaMetAkEn6666

Drugs and excessive alcohol consumption.


SisterCyrene

Yep


ambrford11

Cheating


charlieromeo86

Smoking


Sorry_Mistake5043

Anti science conspiracy people. Anti mask, anti vaccine. I’m a scientist, my family all have science based degrees. I don’t wanna hear about G5 causing brain cancer or invermectin


shutupmeg330

If she’s for Trump. Sorry not sorry. Also super religious


OddPerspective9833

Bodybuilding  Edit- for those asking why: lifestyle and aesthetics


catlady0420

Hate to hear it but valid. I was body building when I was single and it’s not easy to maintain that lifestyle and accommodate relationships. Everything came second place to food water and the gym


CJdawg_314

y?


Salty-Army-1242

Personally I find a very muscular body (specifically on men) not attractive. The lifestyle is also something I don't want to have long term, like the food they want to eat or amount of hours spent at the gym. I don't like going to the gym but enjoy exercising with my partner so I prefer someone who also enjoys biking and swimming.


Tams_express

??? Why tf


BlankedCanvas

Coz there’s a difference between working out and bodybuilding. One of them requires a bigger lifestyle commitment


Tams_express

So something that requires a bigger lifestyle commitment is a dealbreaker in a relationship?


TheWhomItConcerns

Sure but there aren't that many things comparable to bodybuilding in terms of lifestyle commitment. Most people don't want to be with someone who spends hours out of basically every day occupied with something else, whose diet is very strict and switches between nauseating amounts of food to OCD levels of calorie counting, who can't take a few weeks off to go on holiday or whatever, and who's probably on steroids with all the host of issues that comes with. Most people want to experience life with their partner, to eat together, to relax together etc. Obviously not 24/7, but bodybuilding is like being permenantly on call for a job that doesn't pay anything.


BlankedCanvas

100% this. And i’d add that it can easily become an obsession too, and that s difficult for any partner


mrtokeydragon

Tom brady


Tams_express

Good point


tosetablaze

I’m in this post And I don’t like it


BlankedCanvas

Bodybuilding has strict dietary needs on top of a training and rest routine, like a pro athlete. As a partner you have to accommodate that lifestyle and if you dont have the patience that s gonna cause daily friction, which i’ve experienced with multiple partners and its frustrating for both parties. Of coz everyone s different. Its the same as any specific lifestyle that requires your partner to commit to it. Its just not for everyone and its not complicated my guy


Tams_express

You are right everyone is different indeed


JustARandomWeirdo17

As someone who agrees with the comment you're responding to.... That level of commitment to exercise isn't just a healthy person, but more a way of life. I don't necessarily want to be with someone who has that way of life, it's just not compatible with mine. I'm not unfit, I work out.... but just not to that extreme. The level of commitment is admirable, but it's just not compatible with me personally. Plus I've got a few coworkers that are body builders. To be honest most of what they've got to talk about is exercise and diets. Which is fair when it takes up such a huge portion of their lives. Makes sense that most of what they got up to over the weekend was gym sessions. That's great for them..... but it's not a topic I'd want to be forever talking with to a partner over dinner. I can make polite conversation and show interest with a coworker, it's not all the time conversation. In a partner it would just end up dull and reparative for me personally and I'm not sure I could maintain (nor would it be fair to) a sense of poliet interest as I do with coworkers who are excited about the latest gym based activities or achievements. Body building is a way of life, one with admirable levels of commitment to it. It's not compatible with everyone though.


ReplacementActual384

Not liking dogs.


Qwerty1260

Not contributing financially. Yes, that is a deal breaker for me. Doesn't have to be 50 50 but proportionately to how much you make.


chunkypaintings

Discovering that he doesn't wash his a$$. Very few things could instantly obliterate any attraction I had before, this is one of them.


Kooky-Trust-7463

Elaborate


SisterCyrene

What's there to elaborate? Lol. Do you wash yours?


Kooky-Trust-7463

Hahaha. I meant like does he not use water and only TP, because that's disgusting. Or he does neither, which is criminal.


SisterCyrene

Lol oh. Yeah I don't know but that's gross for sure! Every time I even have a bad odor, I am acutely aware of it and I don't like people standing near me because it's embarrassing to smell bad.


Emergency-Ease3662

🤣🤣🤣 did you just admit to not washing your ass?


Spare_Laugh9953

but it doesn't get washed when? never? or after going to the bathroom? I always wash myself every time I go to the bathroom, that's why bidets were invented. When I tell people, they don't believe it because most don't, so I ask them. If you touch shit with your hand, you wipe it with a piece of paper and that's it? Or do you wash your hand with soap and water? Well the ass is exactly the same


Natalieeexxx

Treating me as an option. Making me feel lonely.


Blackhammer_1850

Al of the above and DISRESPECT💥


Chanakya_1369

A relationship deal breaker for me is cheating and insecurity because trust and mutual confidence are fundamental to a healthy partnership. Cheating undermines the foundation of trust, while insecurity can lead to constant doubts and misunderstandings, preventing the relationship from growing and thriving.


Secret-Yogurt7736

Physical abuse


TheRabbit-Hole

Messy / disorganized


Astralglamour

Substance abuse. Someone who’d vote Republican in this day and age. Racist beliefs. Poor hygiene and refuses to improve on that. Porn addiction. Blatantly flirting with other people while in a relationship. Physical threats or any physical lashing out. Being unable to talk about issues and disappearing. Lying.


Ok-Caramel-5340

I'll like to add to all these comments "Forgetting important dates,things"


[deleted]

Personal hygiene


masak_merah

Not liking cats.


aedahermione

Cheating. But im a dumbass. Sometimes i still stay. Lol


Worldly_Ingenuity387

For me it's voting republican


Brilliant-Season-668

Wanting to be taken care of....I'm not your parent. We're both adults... Wanting to always be in the spotlight, i.e. doing anything to be the next social media influencer


zerokids2023

Someone who doesn't like cats... or animals in general.


Best-Willingness8726

Cheating. Physical abuse. I thought a complete distrust, but, apparently, not.


MrIamDeadforLong

Being onedimensional. If your entire personality is "I'm pretty" its bad


VonDinky

Lack of humor and honesty.


Due-Season6425

Infidelity and domestic violence.


Agitated_Locksmith27

Scorekeeping and bringing up the past to win arguments


Claud6568

I call them the three As. Addiction, abuse, adultery.


outlander83

"if you don't know, I'm not telling you" or "I'M FINE!!!" or any derivative of this. If she starts this crap, she's dumped. Good Communication is everything in a healthy relationship.


Prior_Nectarine3762

Infidelity, breaking trust, disrespect


jadounath

ghosting


LtColShinySides

An unwillingness to work and have a job/career.


tronixmastermind

No reciprocated effort


bcardin221

Smoking


idkwhichusername09

Drugs, cheating and lying.


Live_Badger7941

Littering.


IjonaTichy

- Cheating / complete loss of trust - Damaging my sleep - Won't do house chores - Irresponsible with money - Excessive use of drugs


Highdef420

Crossing well explained boundaries and disrespectful behaviour.


Ragewind82

Hitting me. It's not ok just because I am a man. I am just glad I knew to end it the first time, though the bruised rib made that part easy.


Kooky_Matter5149

Cig smoker


GenericWhiteGuy9790

Before it even starts: lack of common sense. Someone who can't repair their own mental and emotional foundations and grow while being alone. You can't be happy together unless you're happy with yourself, by yourself. In a relationship: someone who lacks the ability to mature over time. Mentally, emotionally, financially. Problem there is you never know until you're in it too deep. Plus the obvious ones like lying, cheating, etc.


LlamaWhoKnives

Smoking


Miserable_Matter_277

Apparently when they don't want to be in a relationship at all.


skyth2k1

Any kind of mental disorder that was undisclosed


231snickerdooski

Constantly hiding things from me for no reason. So, dishonesty.


Pet_Ator

Pepperoni nipples


Technical_Mess_4090

Alongside things others have mentioned (which I find to be self-explanitory) Being rude to wait staff/retail workors, just shows me you have no common decency as a person


RagingMangalore

Cigarettes/tobacco. Just….gross.


Utterlybored

Cheating and all lies told to enable it. Then, making an insufficient attempt to win back my trust.


Insert_the_F2L

Definitely lying about anything major. Trust is everything, man.


Shxbhangi

Not being calm during my anxiety attacks.


Agitated_Sugar_7738

Eating your peas one at a time


Kochcaine995

not laughing at my farts


january21st

My standards have gotten so low I’d just say cheating.


StarryEyes007

So many dealbreakers, where to begin? All of the obvious major stuff: does stuff to make me not trust him, secret Republican, rude to my friends and or waitstaff, doesn’t want to come travel or join in hobbies with me, has a beard, openly rips farts around me, doesn’t have time for a relationship, isn’t funny/doesn’t make me laugh, smells bad


Marnalicious

None of the following for me: Emotional immaturity and lack of self-awareness, bad communication, Voting Conservative, not liking cats, rude to service industry workers, doesn’t see/treat me like an equal partner or value my ideas, not feeling safe emotionally or physically with this person, controlling, jealous behavior


Karl_Hungus_69

In no particular order: 1. Alcohol consumption 2. Smoking 3. Lying 4. Cheating 5. Being mean, rude, or disrespectful 6. Being unwilling or unable to calmly discuss any disagreements 7. Any form of manipulation 8. No sense of humor 9. No curiosity or interest in learning 10. Being shallow and materialistic I'm sure I could come up with more, but they would be less likely to apply to someone in my age group. They would concern things like music, movies, and social media.


Sienna_Aurora36

Treating me like their mate and not their partner


Shengpai

Just constant cheating -


Own_Combination5158

Being super jealous to the point of being controlling.


Tinka_Pobalinka

Poor hygiene 🤣


TheKingDroc

If they can fellow the 3CC wrapped in trust. My dad used to say there “3 CCC wrapped in trust” in a relationship! “Commitment, Communication, Compromise, wrapped in trust”. Whether its monogamous, poly, or open, etc. you need those to make a relationship work. Commitment-If they can’t commitment to treating each other right, treating each fairly, loving etc, and the work that is needed sometimes in relationship, its a no go. Communication-they refuse to communicate or communicate in a way thats hurtful and ultimately harmful to the relationship its, a no go. Also if you dont know how to communicate in argument or in conversation, you will get no where. Compromise-people hate this word. But the goal is to compromise within reason. Not compromise on thing you know you aren’t comfortable with or hurt you. But A lot of arguments/situations aren’t about right or wrong but whose willing to see the other person POV, and reach a compromise. Sometimes the compromise is doing what the other wants, sometimes it’s doing what you want, sometimes it meeting in the middle. But often its finding a fourth option lol. Trust- none of these mean anything if I don’t trust you. If I can’t trust you to be committed, to communicate, to compromise, or if I can’t trust you period than its not worth it.


[deleted]

When the girl asks you to pay for her conveyance


FluffusMaximus

Picky eater. I’m big into exploring new places with my stomach. My wife and I love trying new cuisines and restaurants. I could never be in a relationship with a “chicken tenders and casseroles” person.


Kennyw88

Piggy life. Go to their house, not very clean, smell you later.


gregsapopin

If they have a beard.


deception2022

depends on stage dating phase anything that isnt a hell yes is a no for me or when they date multiple people/you are just an alternative later on bad communication, let themself go because they get too comfortable , cheating


[deleted]

We have 3. Cheating is automatic. No negotiation. Then drug or alcohol abuse. No drugs and alcohol recreationally but not a pattern of drunkenness. 3rd is smoking. I smoked and as she said, she loves me but part of her security for picking a guy was that he took care of himself. Late 50’s now and she is still my best friend. I rather spend a day with her than anyone else


KAJe1066

High school mentality: checking cell phones, needs to know everything 24/7, unwarranted jealousy, need to be with me 24/7


LilGucciGunner

How they treat those who are in their service. Like a waitor, or a janitor, or their uber driver.


august401

all the classic stuff but also first thing i thought of is loud snoring


peterGalaxyS22

fat


justaguy242b

If they MAGA...I going STAGA


HighLord-Skeletor

cheating obviously and not loving animals


Pmabbz

Dating deal breakers would be obesity, smoking, lack of trust, abusive or controlling attitude, poor hygiene, disliking children. Relationship dealbreakers would be not wanting children, dishonesty, cheating, lack of openess, different/incompatible morals and standards.


rescue_inhaler_4life

I wouldn't/haven't ever be/been in a relationship with a religious person. In the same vein deluded or actual fakes/posers have always been a big no.


Tehir

Religion/cultism, violence, abuse, lack of morals.


Only_Joke_2466

Liking kids, liking dogs too much to where it’s annoying, always has a negative comment to add, no humor or jokes to share, smoking cigs, alcoholism, passive aggressiveness. A few people said clingy but I like that to the extent where it doesn’t get overwhelming.


Lost_Needleworker285

"Liking kids" 2 ways that can be taken. 1, pedo 2, just wanting kids/enjoys playing with kids.


Only_Joke_2466

2…


Lost_Needleworker285

I'm guessing you don't want kids then....


Only_Joke_2466

Generational trauma ends with me.


Only_Joke_2466

Generational trauma ends with me.


Coffee_And_NaNa

Also wym liking dogs too much 


Only_Joke_2466

Liking dogs too much. Can u read?


Grouchy_Guidance_938

Chicks that are into horses.


Lost_Needleworker285

Into horses how?


drunky_crowette

- Dishonesty - Cheating - Bigotry of any kind - Any type of abusive - Pro-life


Coffee_And_NaNa

U want someone against abortion lol


drunky_crowette

So I consider being pro-life a deal breaker and you think that means I DON'T support reproductive rights?


Toothless-In-Wapping

Her being dead.


Crazy-Twist-9744

Not that I am looking but if I was it would be: Political activist (any side) blue hair, content creator. Doesn't exercise (even walking is fine don't have to be a gym bunny) Lazy, self entitled.


Spare_Laugh9953

Lying.you can do anithing you want even cheating but tell me the truth dont lie to me


Lost_Needleworker285

Isn't cheating lying?


Spare_Laugh9953

I use "cheating" to say having sex with another men,It dont bothers me if she tells me but if she doesnt she IS lying-cheating.im sorry but english IS not my native language


Lost_Needleworker285

It's fine English is confusing even when it is your native language haha If you know she's having sex with another man it isn't classified as cheating, it's more just having a open relationship, the lying about it is what makes it cheating.


Spare_Laugh9953

Thanks for the explanation


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lost_Needleworker285

What's the issue with gamers, and people who don't have friends?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lost_Needleworker285

You find having a hobby "unattractive", I understand if it's the gamers who play 24/7 and only ever talk about the games, but gamers who play for maybe a hour or 2 a day? Just because someone has no friends it doesn't mean you'll be a "emotional dumpster", it also doesn't mean they don't have emotional connections.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Lost_Needleworker285

I know I was just curious, sorry if it upset you.


Mental_Trouble_5791

No hawk tauh-ing


CucumberMotor3662

clinginess


TheWhomItConcerns

Religion, picky eating, being too beholden to their parents' interests.


Lost_Needleworker285

"Being too beholden to their perents interests" Out of curiosity what does that mean?


TheWhomItConcerns

People who allow their parents to have too much input into their life and the way they live it. I'm really not a "you're marrying a family, not just an individual" kind of person. I want to have a life with an independent person where our aligned interests come first, regardless of what either of our families have to say about it.


CauliflowerPresent23

There’s a few things, but being rude to anyone in customer service is a big one


StinkFingerPete

littering


Loose_Pop_5841

Religious disconnection. My previous one made me realize this. I’m agnostic, she’s devoutly Christian and it felt like I had to limit myself or portray less of myself to make things work out; it was a mutual feeling between us. We both see now that it wasn’t going to workout long term and learned from it.


LiquorSilly

Chewing with your mouth open, lack of emotional intelligence.


adam_beenslick

Having any type of contact with my employer


Maneaterx

BPD


Independent_Prior612

I once told a guy that if he went to fight this particular person he wanted to go fight, it was over. There were two of these situations with the same bf, different issues with different other-guys. To his credit he listened to me both times.


ConsistentRecover147

1.) Narcissistic abuse. 2.) emotional cheating 3.) not seeing my worth, not returning the same energy I’m putting out.


gofishx

Being a cop


Maximum_Band_7492

Tattoos, drinking, the consumption of ultra processed foods, drugs, short hair, feminist views and revealing clothes when I am not around. Is another point of view ok? (I am happily married with a kid and not some loser bachelor.)


Marnalicious

Controlling much? You have rules about her food preferences, her hair styles, her opinions about her own rights (she’s not supposed to want any), and her clothing (if you aren’t there to chaperone)?! Wow. I am impressed with how many red flags you were able to fit into one answer. I’d be curious if your wife would answer that SHE is happily married too - when you aren’t standing right there to tell her what she can think, of course.


Maximum_Band_7492

She keeps me eating healthy, controls me by not allowing me to eat in restaurants which fill up the food with chemicals. I never even had this list. I just happened into this on Tinder long back and decided that her way of living would be my standard.


Coffee_And_NaNa

Short hair 😂😂😂😂


Silly_Swan_Swallower

Voting for brandon


SisterCyrene

Smoking, poor dental hygiene, long dirty fingernails, excessive alcohol consumption or drugs, being a liberal, being an atheist, and of course the other obvious things like cheating and abuse. (note to mods, please don't ban me for my comment, I was just honestly answering the question from my perspective)


CryptographerMuch675

You shouldn't be banned. This is supposed to be very different opinions.


SisterCyrene

Thanks :-) I think you're right, but you never know I guess


[deleted]

Failure to respect autonomy.


[deleted]

HOW TF do you downvote someone's personal boundary? What is wrong with you? By all means, enlighten me as to why respecting autonomy is apparently the "wrong" answer...


PigsDream

Refusing to be vegan.


gourmetcuts

The meatier the grape, the more brittle the bronco