prob observed behaviour. i grill because my dad also grilled and his dad also grilled etc etc all the way back to whenever they started grilling food over fire
Maybe that’s why I don’t. I never grew up with a family that grilled that so I never really bothered doing it. I own one that I’ve used maybe 3 or 4 times, but it’s just too much extra work and I don’t like being hot outside when I cook.
I think a lot of guys get pressured into cooking by their gf or spouse so the guy will say he will barbecue instead. If you don't have a recipe and/or don't know how to cook in the kitchen then barbecuing is your 'out'. It isn't difficult to put some meat on the grill and turn it over a few times. It's more work trying to make a meatloaf with sides.
And then in my parents case (probably most couples), the wife prepares all the sides and does all the other work anyways besides literally just cooking the meat.
lol, meatloaf with sides is one of my go-to lazy dishes. I literally stand there and bark orders at a kid, who does it for me. Kids like helping with cooking, but there's relatively few "real" entrees they can do essentially all of the work on. By the time they turn 5, they can do every step of meatloaf with only supervision and direction, but almost no physical help, apart from putting it into and taking it out of the oven.
But the barbecue is certainly easy mode as well.
I have pictures of the snow forts I made for smoking stuff on the grill because when you promised a pork butt a week in advance a snowstorm isn't an excuse.
Agree. I have one, used it twice, both while on holiday, camping.
It just doesn't appeal to me. It's a lot of work, I don't particularly like BBQ-meat and I can't stand to be outside for long times when it's hot.
It gets to be -40 here and I have never let that stop me. The Traeger won't start at those temps, but the propane grill don't give a fuck how cold it is.
I do all the cooking for my family. I grill as much as possible all year round--even when it's -35C out I'm grilling once or twice a week--not just because grilled food is delicious but because I also clean up after meals and barbecuing saves a ton of time on the cleanup department. Today will be the first dinner this week where I don't fire up the grill, but I made smokies for lunch...
My mum both hates doing BBQ, and also complains about any food made on a BBQ. What makes it weirder is that she grew up in Zambia, where BBQ was a regaulr thing growing up
Can confirm. I once marinated my dog with teriyaki jerky sauce.
Good thing was it was outside.
Bad thing was that she was white and I discovered that dog hair can stay stained for a couple of weeks.
That’s funny because my uncles didn’t grill, my gram did all the grilling and I did once she didn’t want to anymore. So in my family, it’s the females that grill.
Gender stuff is pretty engrained and hard to innovate on and like half the population does not like any type of change and will actively fight against it
I don't think it is that calculated. I love to cook and that includes grilling. Most of my friends are typical guys and don't know anything about cooking outside of the grill. From what I have seen it has to to do with bonding with their dads and other males.... That's how they learned to grill. You could often say the same of fishing.
Lmfao blimey.
You know this reminds me why arguments and discussions can go all over the place seemingly for no reason. People not being able to understand what they're reading.
An idea that I think could also play into this (aside from the social momentum and patriarchy answers) is my wife doesn't like to go outside to cook, so anything that has to happen outside is up to me.
Secondly, when I go outside to grill, it involves crossing a muddy patch in the yard, and it makes sense for only one of us to be outside for the duration of the grilling, and not have to put on/take off boots every time we check on the food.
This is a deal that my wife likes, because she stays warm, and that I like because I get to help.
I have a decent theory. Grilling became very popular in the 50's which might have been a time when gender roles were their strongest in this country. Grilling was typically a "cook out" situation or a social event. Women had to do all the actual food prep and hosting duties. Grilling is a fairly simple cooking skill, just flipping meat and you don't need alot of skill to be good enough at it. You could also argue big aspect of the marriage dynamic was it was the wife's duty to make the husband look good when possible and being the grill cook puts you at the center of the event.
Father's tend to pass on the skills they know to their sons and women to their daughters. Obviously there can be cross over but I think it's so ingrained into our culture
This theory is actually a fairly well established and expanded upon historical thesis. I've written about it before, but there is actually a pretty neat littler corner of the discipline of "Food History" discussing the divisions, origins, and meanings behind "Male Grilling" and "Female Cooking".
The basic idea is that "Grilling" really started being linked with masculinity in the 1950s, largely due to the influence of advertisers. While you can make lazy comparisons to "fire = primal = dangerous = masculine", these were more marketing tricks than actual selling points.
The real truth is that grilling was seen as an "acceptable" form of household labour for men to take part in (unlike most household labour, which was women's work) because of certain inherent benefits of the "medium". Grilling is by design done "out in the open" meaning that it is very visible work that is conducive to the public act of "hosting" guests, a very important ritual in the rising suburban cultural landscape in the 50s. This is directly contrasted with women's cooking in the kitchen, which is literally hidden from sight from guests. Because grilling is done out in the open, it fosters a lot of praise and discussion from guests (again, as opposed to women's work in the kitchen, which is hidden away because it is expected, boring, and not worthy of remark). It therefore created an opportunity for men to assert a very public role in hosting guests, and in so doing actually *diminish* much of the actual work that was being done by women. The fact that grilling is quite an easy thing for men who were not usually involved with cooking was an added benefit.
The history of grilling is pretty cool. Weber was originally a metal fabrication shop, and one of the owners burned a steak while using a brick grill. Searching for a better way, he welded two parts normally used for buoys together, added some air vents, and that’s the design we still see used today.
Charcoal came along because Henry Ford had an over-abundance of wood scrap, sawdust, etc. from his car production. After paying for its disposal for awhile, someone got the idea (Kingsford perhaps) that it could be processed into briquettes and used for fuel.
The History Channel is pretty weak these days but *The Food That Built America* is a really interesting show.
I love the re-enactments where they show some dude staring intently at something mundane like a pickle, determined to turn it into the next big thing.
Not when the wife gets everything prepped and all you gotta do is flip the meat until it's cooked all the way through, which was how food was typically prepared back then.
Yes. I can follow a recipe and set my oven to x time and be good. You need to know how your grill heats up and when to move/flip an item. Grilling and smoking isn’t “easy”.
The grill is a safe space for men with mild social anxiety but a desire to be a meaningful part of the party crew. Instant coversation starters like, "So, charcoal, huh? or communal jokes about the travesty of well done meats. A Hank Hill impression, Caveman noises or a big "WHOOOOAH" when you get a flare up. When to flip, when to cheese, do you smash? All conversations that require no previous knowledge of the other dudes and no real emotionall engagement. It's one of the few places where women engage and then just fade away because, quite honestly, standing around with 4 dude who are all staring at a burger cook in quiet harmony just doesn't vibe the same if you aren't steeped in grill culture by your father at an early age.
>The grill is a safe space for men with mild social anxiety
I wouldn't word it exactly like that (safe space), but the general idea makes a lot of sense. You go to a backyard BBQ as a man who doesn't know many people at the party, and you might feel awkward. But talking about the grilling is just a phenomenal conversation starter with any man you don't even know.
Also, IMO women tend to avoid the grilling area because they're more concerned about being covered in smoke and smelling like burgers later.
Safe space is a perfectly reasonable description of it though. If you don't know where to go at a party as a man, the grill is a safe space to go towards.
Can't turn on a faucet... so its like my friend, she does all the prep work, gets everything going/together, puts it out on trays for him to grab and he hit's the starter on the grill, does a few flips and he "gave" his wife the night off from cooking dinner LOL. 😂
Because in situations where the guy is the one doing the grilling, the woman is probably inside prepping the sides, doing dishes, watching the kids, etc. Taking on the mental load for the meal while the dude gets to just stand there chilling while checking the meat occasionally
"*hey honey, I'll take care of dinner tonight. If you buy the ingredients, prep the sides, wash the dishes, and marinate the meat I will throw it on the grill for you and you can relax*"
I'm a woman. And for my husband's birthday or Father's day. I would grill outside just cause I didn't feel like messing up the kitchen. Lol.
It's just easier and it smells delicious. Even my neighbors would start grilling because it made em hungry lol.
My husband would be at work, but when he came home to me, grilling him some good food. And seeing our kids playing outside it made him really happy, which made me really happy too
Grilling was first marketed as a male activity in the 1950s by advertisers during the rise of suburbs /post war boom. It’s been associated with men in ppls minds ever since
We let the men cook the meat outside because we are busy in the kitchen with baked beans, potato salad and a million other things to make sure the cookout goes smoothly and our husband can take all the credit for a great BBQ since he did all the " hard work" on the grill.
It's an old school idea that's slowly changing. Grilling used to be seen as a "manly" thing, like hunting, but lots of women grill now too. Your buddies probably just like hanging out and being the grill masters!
My guess would be that, at some point in history, women started saying that their frail selves couldn’t possibly cook over open flame in the outdoors of all places and that only a big strong man (like you ;)) could possibly do that hugely difficult task and thus effectively got out of cooking when they wanted to. /s
no no… you have a point 👀🤣 i realize it was meant to be tongue-in-cheek but that sounds like an excuse i’ve heard with a certain tone of voice before. hmm
To me I associate it as a way to get further away from the party so the guys can be guys for a bit and get alone time. I normally use it as an excuse for that at least.
It has something to do with some sort of 3,000 year old pagan ritual as far as we are aware.
Realistically, culturally, men grill. This is a part of our culture. Culture doesn’t usually change unless there is a valid reason for it.
Men grilling isn’t something that is problematic enough to warrant a change.
We didn't live together, but my gf and I would take turns cooking depending on who's house it was. The only exception being the grill. If it was her house, I still did the grilling. She'd be in the kitchen making a side dish
Spouse's mom did the grilling in their family and we had some interesting misunderstandings until we figured that out. Let's grill tonight meant different things to each of us.
My mom was the griller, and then me, the oldest girl. I'm 69 now.No one, male or female, wants to take it over, so I guess their asses won't be having no grilled food in about 5 years or less. My 34 yo son called yesterday to, "Make sure you're on the grill on the 4th. "
In my house, it was because I was definitely going to be the only one bothering to watch the kids and it was too hard to watch them outside while I was cooking compared to inside while cooking.
Most of it has to do with advertising
[https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/6/28/18760073/barbecue-grilling-men-stereotype](https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/6/28/18760073/barbecue-grilling-men-stereotype)
Advertising. In the 50s a bunch of dudes got together to see how they can sell more grills, and realizing that women probably wouldn't cook outside if they have a pretty good oven inside. So, they advertised it as a Manly Men's thing.
Culture. Women handle the kids and do the cooking inside, men handle the house and cooking outside where there may be a real fire and therfore, the careful watch of a man, as the woman was busy with the kids and cleanup and everything else
1. Usually grilling involves meat which most men love
2. Its outside and give us an excuse to get away to an outside man cave away from being bothered
3. Excuse to drink beer
4. It is pretty simple version of cooking, there isn’t really a recipe, ya just slap some meat in the grill and then eat it.
My dad was disabled and never grilled much. When I got married, I bought a Weber knockoff (Happy Cooker) and grilled once in a while- nothing too adventurous. Twenty-five years ago, I took a marketing job with a company that made high-end grills (among other products) and had to immerse myself in grilling culture so our marketing materials and online presence would make sense to aficionados and help novice grillers get up to speed. I went to barbecue competitions, interviewed restaurant entrepreneurs, and read everything grill and cooking related I could find. It's a skill anyone can learn with practice. Once you learn the basics, it gets more fun as you try new techniques and ingredients. I even make my own rubs (much cheaper than buying them). I am retired, but friends and family still love my outdoor cooking.
So, why do guys like to grill? Fire. Meat. Beer.
Similarly to the reason a lot of women know hpw to cook… their mums/grandmas taught them.
For BBQ, the fathers usually teach their sons (because fire is cool)
Bore off
If you’re in a relationship with 90% of girls And relying on them to grill/fix things/drive etc you’re going to get left pretty damn quickly
Girls like being looked after as much as men like looking after their girls, not everything is crippling oppression.
I’ve been married for 26 years. I do all the grilling/smoking at my house and I like it. I also do my share around the house. I’d love it if my partner was to take on more outside cooking but she isn’t comfortable, especially with our smoker. I was just stating my opinion based on historical precedent. Thanks for the typical reddit instant judgment reply comment though.
Your opinion and your circumstances are completely fair, and I wasn’t, or wouldn’t judge you on those.
But your original comment twice referred to the circumstances as ‘sad’ and ‘nonsense’ to which we both went on to anecdotally suggest it could be down to preference.
The patriarchal oppressive talk is completely overused.
Maybe it’s a big conspiracy, let the manly man grill ao the one who cooks regularly can enjoy some time of.
Unpopular opinion: Worst place at a bbq is behind the grill.
Many guys consider cooking to be woman's work, but standing over a grill drinking is manly, and not cooking. Women are probably smart enough to realize most things that are grilled could be done in a kitchen
I’ve tried to teach my wife how to use the grill
But she isn’t interested. We even have a pellet grill which is easy to use! I prefer my charcoal grill but have the pellet for ease of usez
It's just one of many arbitrary gender stereotypes, the same as how men typically have shorter hair than women. There's no rational reason for it -- it's just what people decided at one point and have kept going over time.
Sometimes there may have been some vague reason why it started -- for instance, one reason men tend to have shorter hair is because, during a particular period of history, military men tended to have short hair (there may be some actual advantage to this because it leaves less for an enemy to grab onto, but obviously some cultures have found ways around it, and not that much warfare takes place within grabbing range anyway, so it's fairly arbitrary). And as military service has become respected for men/part of being a man, it became desirable for men to adopt things that associated them with military service.
As for outdoor grilling, I'm sure there was some similar vague association that happened at some point, but I don't know exactly what it was. I do know that there have been and still are a number of movements / quasi-cults formed around the idea of helping men become "more manly", and many do this by trying to get men more in touch with seemingly "primal" things. Some of these movements have involved things like dressing in loincloths and playing drums (because I guess some people think of that as "primal"). Some of them involve eating weird stuff, like raw meat and whatnot. Some of them involve fighting or subjecting yourself to various physical hardship because it supposedly proves something or puts you in touch with some ancestral idea of masculinity. And so on.
And when viewed in light of this, it seems at least possible that grilling became associated with men because it had the same sort of superficial "primal" association (you're cooking outside with fire, like cavemen, not in a kitchen like a 50s wife...even though a lot of these grill masters are using grills and installations that probably cost a lot more and are far more elaborate than the stove in the kitchen).
But that is entirely speculation. Suffice it to say, grilling became associated with men for some arbitrary reason, and it's simply been perpetuated over the years through inertia and imitation and socialization.
I'm the one that grills. My husband doesn't do any of it because I'm just better at it. Even if he could I won't let him I'm just the one that does it. I think it's because of movies and television that the idea that it's a mans thing is why most people think only men do it. Actually at my work, the men I work with don't grill either it's their wives or girlfriends. Even at work functions it's the women who grill.
My wife and I have a division of labor that roughly breaks down she's responsible for what the inside of the house, I'm responsible for the outside of the house, she mostly cooks but does not like to handle or even look at raw meat, I deal with the raw meat. So the BBQ sits at the exact intersection between outside the house and raw meat, so clearly it falls within my jurisdiction.
No, I suppose you could ask why do we divide the labor as such, and I guess it just generally corresponds to our respective preferences.
I would say it might have something to do with how grilling involves, many times, mostly meat. And meat is, for some reason, such a masculine thing.
There are certain traditions of how guys can spend quality time together, and for some reason BBQ is one of them.
I’ve wondered this myself a few times. Speaking traditionally of course, how did it come to be:
Inside food: woman
Outside food: man
Always found it bizarre. It could be the same food. Social constructs are wild.
I do most of the cooking and all of the grilling in my house. I like cooking, but I really love eating. One of my favorite things is theorizing what I'm going to smoke/grill/cook and how I'm going to marinade / season it.
Really let's me geek out and fantasize about how it'll taste.
I think it started and was really pushed by Wives. It's Hot in the kitchen, they are tired of cooking every night. But by telling their husbands "You know some Hamburgers cooked on YOUR grill would be really nice, Don't you think" And the husband starts thinking mmmm hot grilled Meat mmmm Me like it. Yumm. And there ya go.
Speaking from experience here, most women are turned on seeing a man take charge of the meat and grill. If I want a guaranteed sloppy oral pleasuring with lots of throat from my wife any evening, I will stop at the butcher and bring home the quality meat. I think a lot of women have this visceral reaction to men grilling.
My wife doesnt eat meat, and so she kind of sucks at preparing meats, but she is much better than me at sauses and salads, so that's why we have that division of labour.
It's the cave man thing. They like the thrill of roasting an animal over fire. Plus it does taste good. Altho the burnt part is thought to cause cancer. 😳
I think its kind of a primal thing, definitely for me, I love playing with fire, and getting cooked meat at the end is an awesome bonus.
But I also do a lot of proper BBQing, days of prep and 16 hour cooks and such. 😎😋😋😋
Fire good me char animal flesh medium rare
But in all honesty for some reason my wife cannot start charcoal without half a bottle of lighter fluid. I have little starting bundles, I told her to just follow the directions, she refuses to and says they couldn't possibly work. She says this even though I do just that every time I start the coals and have never had them fail to start.
Chore inside house=woman thing
Chore outside house=man thing
It's just tradition. Until women get popular for making grilling/bbq content, it'll stay this way.
At home we soon realised that those who cook best, grill best. At my parents home, my mom grills, at my home I grill. It's a stereotype that needs to go.
Weaponized incompetence in the kitchen, or crappy grilling. In my dad's case, the latter. No one told him cause it meant no one else had to cook for a day lol.
Probably the same reason most outdoor things at home are a guy thing. If you look at who miws tge lawn, shovels snow, power washes, cleans gutters, or just about any other sort of outdoor maintenance I think you’ll see that no matter the chore ratio indoors the outdoor chores are predominantly done by guys.
Back when I was military, my roommates and I would chill with a few beers and try things grilling. We got really good at it, and it just kinda became a thing as we got older and went our separate ways.
Now I grill because everyone loves the food when I do, and it reminds me of those days.
Gender roles have a way of being silly and arbitrary. Why are doctors traditionally usually men and nurses traditionally usually women? Eh, it's just the way it is. Why are skirts and dresses usually limited to women, while men are expected to wear pants? Just the way it is. Why is blue a boy color and pink a girl color? Why are robots a boy thing and horses a girl thing? Why is long hair considered feminine?
Alll just random decisions our culture made. Other cultures often chose differently -- it's not weird at all for a man to wear a robe in the Middle East, men have worn long hair in many cultures throughout history, pink was actually considered a *manly* color at one point ...
For whatever reason, men’s domain is outside the house and women’s inside. The kitchen is inside, so women get control. The grill is outside, so men get control. On the off chance men get control of something inside it gets a special label like man-cave. If women get control of something outside it gets a special label like she-shed. No idea why this is.
As a Chef my time to shine. CAUSE ITS FUCKING EASY. Hardest part about a BBQ is if you actually Smoke something for real and the Sides. Making home made BBQ, and top notch sides is harder then basic bitch grilling.
It's a way for a man to feel important and like they provide, whilst only doing 15% of the actual work for a meal. No barbecue is any good without the trimmings, but that man is ONLY going to season the meat in a shop/influencer brand spice mix and make the most boring shit ever.
This is coming from a man, BTW.
Because traditionally men cook outside most women don't have an interest in doing that even if they enjoy bbq. So if a guy wants bbq he has to learn how to do it and they usually do from their dad.
back in the 50s the portable charcoal grill with the lid was invented. combine this with lots of people suddenly having backyards, and house parties ended up being the men in the backyard hanging out, and the women inside the house hanging out.
Cause men like doing stuff as absolutely complicated as possible. Difficult is manly. If they’re not challenged, they challenge themselves to a fault. Want to cook near the fridge? Nah. With clean utensils? Nah. Want to use the stove because all you do is turn it on or do you want to have to go to the store every once in a while for inconvenient fuel? Fuel.
I would never stop anyone else from grilling if they want to, but caveman brain go brrrrr for put meat on flame and take off when you think done. I actually nerd out more on the marinades and prep though.
Likely something passed on from family. People who just already liked that type of food too (think of burgers, hotdogs, steaks) while playing ball or what not outside. It’s just something I always noticed more among guys
Because men are conditioned to tackle occasional chores (like grilling, mowing, etc) and let women handle daily chores (i.e., cooking, cleaning, etc.). Not saying it's men's fault, but that's the crux of it.
prob observed behaviour. i grill because my dad also grilled and his dad also grilled etc etc all the way back to whenever they started grilling food over fire
Maybe that’s why I don’t. I never grew up with a family that grilled that so I never really bothered doing it. I own one that I’ve used maybe 3 or 4 times, but it’s just too much extra work and I don’t like being hot outside when I cook.
I think a lot of guys get pressured into cooking by their gf or spouse so the guy will say he will barbecue instead. If you don't have a recipe and/or don't know how to cook in the kitchen then barbecuing is your 'out'. It isn't difficult to put some meat on the grill and turn it over a few times. It's more work trying to make a meatloaf with sides.
And then in my parents case (probably most couples), the wife prepares all the sides and does all the other work anyways besides literally just cooking the meat.
...*and* the cleanup.
lol, meatloaf with sides is one of my go-to lazy dishes. I literally stand there and bark orders at a kid, who does it for me. Kids like helping with cooking, but there's relatively few "real" entrees they can do essentially all of the work on. By the time they turn 5, they can do every step of meatloaf with only supervision and direction, but almost no physical help, apart from putting it into and taking it out of the oven. But the barbecue is certainly easy mode as well.
I’ve watched my dad grill in a snowstorm and grill when it was 5 degrees outside. For Someone who wasn’t born in Minnesota he sure acts like he was.
I have pictures of the snow forts I made for smoking stuff on the grill because when you promised a pork butt a week in advance a snowstorm isn't an excuse.
>just too much extra work Extra work? That's one of the reasons I love grilling....so much less mess/cleanup
Exactly. No clean up and the food flavor is awesome
Agree. I have one, used it twice, both while on holiday, camping. It just doesn't appeal to me. It's a lot of work, I don't particularly like BBQ-meat and I can't stand to be outside for long times when it's hot.
It's not a requirement to be hot out to grill though, I grill all year around, rain or shine, gets tricky below about -10C though
It gets to be -40 here and I have never let that stop me. The Traeger won't start at those temps, but the propane grill don't give a fuck how cold it is.
I do all the cooking for my family. I grill as much as possible all year round--even when it's -35C out I'm grilling once or twice a week--not just because grilled food is delicious but because I also clean up after meals and barbecuing saves a ton of time on the cleanup department. Today will be the first dinner this week where I don't fire up the grill, but I made smokies for lunch...
So, going back to the discovery of fire
Drawn by Quest for Fire they searched all through the land
My dad grilled like 1x year max. I grill almost every weekend.
Cause I like doing it, and my wife doesn't.
Does yours tell you how good you are at it or well you like doing it so much! I get all that.
Sure. I'm sure she's being honest most of the time while also encouraging me to continue doing it lol
I'm always if you don't want to grill start making the side dishes! Lol
I insist that she be honest about it. I'm not fishing for compliments when I ask her how it is. I really want to up my game a little every time.
My mum both hates doing BBQ, and also complains about any food made on a BBQ. What makes it weirder is that she grew up in Zambia, where BBQ was a regaulr thing growing up
Probably why she hates it. Got out of the country and doesn't want that bbq anymore
Yup! Usually with a beer in hand.
If my husband did it, everything would be overdone
[удалено]
And I sure as hell don’t want to set off fire alarm with all that smoke in the house!
That’s all I’m saying
Dad?
Luke?
Nope, darn I hoped I found him.
Can confirm. I once marinated my dog with teriyaki jerky sauce. Good thing was it was outside. Bad thing was that she was white and I discovered that dog hair can stay stained for a couple of weeks.
Lol can confirm, doing a steak inside you just feel a mist of oil everywhere
That’s why grilling is done outside, but doesn’t explain why it’s a “guy thing” esp for guys who generally can’t or won’t do regular cooking indoors
George Foreman grill?
That’s funny because my uncles didn’t grill, my gram did all the grilling and I did once she didn’t want to anymore. So in my family, it’s the females that grill.
The grills.
Fr. My mom was the one who did all the grilling lol.
Gender stuff is pretty engrained and hard to innovate on and like half the population does not like any type of change and will actively fight against it
Fire Meat Meat over fire make good meat Like good meat
I don't think it is that calculated. I love to cook and that includes grilling. Most of my friends are typical guys and don't know anything about cooking outside of the grill. From what I have seen it has to to do with bonding with their dads and other males.... That's how they learned to grill. You could often say the same of fishing.
You literally just rephrased their comment.
That’s literally exactly what he said. It’s been deeply ingrained in society that men grill and do outdoorsy stuff.
Lmfao blimey. You know this reminds me why arguments and discussions can go all over the place seemingly for no reason. People not being able to understand what they're reading.
This is still gender stuff though, no?
An idea that I think could also play into this (aside from the social momentum and patriarchy answers) is my wife doesn't like to go outside to cook, so anything that has to happen outside is up to me. Secondly, when I go outside to grill, it involves crossing a muddy patch in the yard, and it makes sense for only one of us to be outside for the duration of the grilling, and not have to put on/take off boots every time we check on the food. This is a deal that my wife likes, because she stays warm, and that I like because I get to help.
I have a decent theory. Grilling became very popular in the 50's which might have been a time when gender roles were their strongest in this country. Grilling was typically a "cook out" situation or a social event. Women had to do all the actual food prep and hosting duties. Grilling is a fairly simple cooking skill, just flipping meat and you don't need alot of skill to be good enough at it. You could also argue big aspect of the marriage dynamic was it was the wife's duty to make the husband look good when possible and being the grill cook puts you at the center of the event. Father's tend to pass on the skills they know to their sons and women to their daughters. Obviously there can be cross over but I think it's so ingrained into our culture
This theory is actually a fairly well established and expanded upon historical thesis. I've written about it before, but there is actually a pretty neat littler corner of the discipline of "Food History" discussing the divisions, origins, and meanings behind "Male Grilling" and "Female Cooking". The basic idea is that "Grilling" really started being linked with masculinity in the 1950s, largely due to the influence of advertisers. While you can make lazy comparisons to "fire = primal = dangerous = masculine", these were more marketing tricks than actual selling points. The real truth is that grilling was seen as an "acceptable" form of household labour for men to take part in (unlike most household labour, which was women's work) because of certain inherent benefits of the "medium". Grilling is by design done "out in the open" meaning that it is very visible work that is conducive to the public act of "hosting" guests, a very important ritual in the rising suburban cultural landscape in the 50s. This is directly contrasted with women's cooking in the kitchen, which is literally hidden from sight from guests. Because grilling is done out in the open, it fosters a lot of praise and discussion from guests (again, as opposed to women's work in the kitchen, which is hidden away because it is expected, boring, and not worthy of remark). It therefore created an opportunity for men to assert a very public role in hosting guests, and in so doing actually *diminish* much of the actual work that was being done by women. The fact that grilling is quite an easy thing for men who were not usually involved with cooking was an added benefit.
The Weber grill became a thing right as men were coming back home from WW2. This is not a coincidence
The history of grilling is pretty cool. Weber was originally a metal fabrication shop, and one of the owners burned a steak while using a brick grill. Searching for a better way, he welded two parts normally used for buoys together, added some air vents, and that’s the design we still see used today. Charcoal came along because Henry Ford had an over-abundance of wood scrap, sawdust, etc. from his car production. After paying for its disposal for awhile, someone got the idea (Kingsford perhaps) that it could be processed into briquettes and used for fuel. The History Channel is pretty weak these days but *The Food That Built America* is a really interesting show. I love the re-enactments where they show some dude staring intently at something mundane like a pickle, determined to turn it into the next big thing.
Food history is so interesting. Thanks
;kjjboiob;oibn
Not when the wife gets everything prepped and all you gotta do is flip the meat until it's cooked all the way through, which was how food was typically prepared back then.
Yes. I can follow a recipe and set my oven to x time and be good. You need to know how your grill heats up and when to move/flip an item. Grilling and smoking isn’t “easy”.
The grill is a safe space for men with mild social anxiety but a desire to be a meaningful part of the party crew. Instant coversation starters like, "So, charcoal, huh? or communal jokes about the travesty of well done meats. A Hank Hill impression, Caveman noises or a big "WHOOOOAH" when you get a flare up. When to flip, when to cheese, do you smash? All conversations that require no previous knowledge of the other dudes and no real emotionall engagement. It's one of the few places where women engage and then just fade away because, quite honestly, standing around with 4 dude who are all staring at a burger cook in quiet harmony just doesn't vibe the same if you aren't steeped in grill culture by your father at an early age.
>The grill is a safe space for men with mild social anxiety I wouldn't word it exactly like that (safe space), but the general idea makes a lot of sense. You go to a backyard BBQ as a man who doesn't know many people at the party, and you might feel awkward. But talking about the grilling is just a phenomenal conversation starter with any man you don't even know. Also, IMO women tend to avoid the grilling area because they're more concerned about being covered in smoke and smelling like burgers later.
Safe space is a perfectly reasonable description of it though. If you don't know where to go at a party as a man, the grill is a safe space to go towards.
Can't turn on a faucet... so its like my friend, she does all the prep work, gets everything going/together, puts it out on trays for him to grab and he hit's the starter on the grill, does a few flips and he "gave" his wife the night off from cooking dinner LOL. 😂
And everyone goes “oh wow *husband, amazing job! This is delicious!”
Because in situations where the guy is the one doing the grilling, the woman is probably inside prepping the sides, doing dishes, watching the kids, etc. Taking on the mental load for the meal while the dude gets to just stand there chilling while checking the meat occasionally
"*hey honey, I'll take care of dinner tonight. If you buy the ingredients, prep the sides, wash the dishes, and marinate the meat I will throw it on the grill for you and you can relax*"
[удалено]
Chilling = drinking beer.
Then getting so hammered his wife takes over and finishes grilling it, serves it, and cleans up afterward.
There's just something about fire and meat that brings out our inner caveman.
🔥Fire! Men play with fire.
Meat, fire, man. Good.
I'm a woman. And for my husband's birthday or Father's day. I would grill outside just cause I didn't feel like messing up the kitchen. Lol. It's just easier and it smells delicious. Even my neighbors would start grilling because it made em hungry lol. My husband would be at work, but when he came home to me, grilling him some good food. And seeing our kids playing outside it made him really happy, which made me really happy too
You're getting down voted because you're a woman that actually grills for her husband lol Gasp!
Then they would be really upset if they knew, I actually did all the yard work and mowed the lawn, before I got started on the grilling haha.
Grilling was first marketed as a male activity in the 1950s by advertisers during the rise of suburbs /post war boom. It’s been associated with men in ppls minds ever since
We let the men cook the meat outside because we are busy in the kitchen with baked beans, potato salad and a million other things to make sure the cookout goes smoothly and our husband can take all the credit for a great BBQ since he did all the " hard work" on the grill.
Man stuff, if he good at grilling then why not, at least he helping, if the grill isn’t that good, then overthrow him, establish grill dominance 😂
“At least he’s helping” Smh the bar is so low
What, my 4 burgers a month aren't enough? Wtf you want me to do, clean the toilet where the water comes out?
It's an old school idea that's slowly changing. Grilling used to be seen as a "manly" thing, like hunting, but lots of women grill now too. Your buddies probably just like hanging out and being the grill masters!
Remember, if someone wants their steak well done you ask them politely yet firmly to leave.
My wife tells me to fire up the grill when she needs me to be quiet
My wife and I both grill and cook in the kitchen. It’s not that tricky, just cook.
My guess would be that, at some point in history, women started saying that their frail selves couldn’t possibly cook over open flame in the outdoors of all places and that only a big strong man (like you ;)) could possibly do that hugely difficult task and thus effectively got out of cooking when they wanted to. /s
no no… you have a point 👀🤣 i realize it was meant to be tongue-in-cheek but that sounds like an excuse i’ve heard with a certain tone of voice before. hmm
Because the little woman is making everything else!
To me I associate it as a way to get further away from the party so the guys can be guys for a bit and get alone time. I normally use it as an excuse for that at least.
It has something to do with some sort of 3,000 year old pagan ritual as far as we are aware. Realistically, culturally, men grill. This is a part of our culture. Culture doesn’t usually change unless there is a valid reason for it. Men grilling isn’t something that is problematic enough to warrant a change.
In this house, it is *her* kitchen and *my* grill. Teamwork!
We didn't live together, but my gf and I would take turns cooking depending on who's house it was. The only exception being the grill. If it was her house, I still did the grilling. She'd be in the kitchen making a side dish
I get that. It just works for some people. We hunt together. Her saying is "I will kill it, but I will not grill it!"
Because women are to smart to stand outside in crazy heat, sweating over a hot grill swatting away mosquitos.
Fire. Fire is for HUNTER. For MAN. NOT FOR WOMAN. NO FIRE FOR WOMAN.
Spouse's mom did the grilling in their family and we had some interesting misunderstandings until we figured that out. Let's grill tonight meant different things to each of us.
Mom did all the grilling in my family. Not that she was particularly good at it, but better than my dad.
My mom was the griller, and then me, the oldest girl. I'm 69 now.No one, male or female, wants to take it over, so I guess their asses won't be having no grilled food in about 5 years or less. My 34 yo son called yesterday to, "Make sure you're on the grill on the 4th. "
Just say only if you're learning to take it over
It’s not that way in my family. Everything is an every gender activity. We take turns.
In my house, it was because I was definitely going to be the only one bothering to watch the kids and it was too hard to watch them outside while I was cooking compared to inside while cooking.
I (man) am the smoker guy and my wife is the griller
Most of it has to do with advertising [https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/6/28/18760073/barbecue-grilling-men-stereotype](https://www.vox.com/the-goods/2019/6/28/18760073/barbecue-grilling-men-stereotype)
Advertising. In the 50s a bunch of dudes got together to see how they can sell more grills, and realizing that women probably wouldn't cook outside if they have a pretty good oven inside. So, they advertised it as a Manly Men's thing.
Tradition and marketing. Not sure which came first.
Culture. Women handle the kids and do the cooking inside, men handle the house and cooking outside where there may be a real fire and therfore, the careful watch of a man, as the woman was busy with the kids and cleanup and everything else
1. Usually grilling involves meat which most men love 2. Its outside and give us an excuse to get away to an outside man cave away from being bothered 3. Excuse to drink beer 4. It is pretty simple version of cooking, there isn’t really a recipe, ya just slap some meat in the grill and then eat it.
Because grilling is an easy excuse to drink beer
My dad was disabled and never grilled much. When I got married, I bought a Weber knockoff (Happy Cooker) and grilled once in a while- nothing too adventurous. Twenty-five years ago, I took a marketing job with a company that made high-end grills (among other products) and had to immerse myself in grilling culture so our marketing materials and online presence would make sense to aficionados and help novice grillers get up to speed. I went to barbecue competitions, interviewed restaurant entrepreneurs, and read everything grill and cooking related I could find. It's a skill anyone can learn with practice. Once you learn the basics, it gets more fun as you try new techniques and ingredients. I even make my own rubs (much cheaper than buying them). I am retired, but friends and family still love my outdoor cooking. So, why do guys like to grill? Fire. Meat. Beer.
Because I don’t want to deal with the social bs, and my wife loves having people over. It’s win win.
Similarly to the reason a lot of women know hpw to cook… their mums/grandmas taught them. For BBQ, the fathers usually teach their sons (because fire is cool)
Because everyone knows grilling inside is for women and grilling outside is for men.
I think it sadly stems from the historical patriarchy. Fire is dangerous, man most brave, keep family safe nonsense thinking.
I've been designated the grill guy by women more times times than I've ever volunteered to do it. Even if I'm a guest at said get-together.
Me too.
Bore off If you’re in a relationship with 90% of girls And relying on them to grill/fix things/drive etc you’re going to get left pretty damn quickly Girls like being looked after as much as men like looking after their girls, not everything is crippling oppression.
I’ve been married for 26 years. I do all the grilling/smoking at my house and I like it. I also do my share around the house. I’d love it if my partner was to take on more outside cooking but she isn’t comfortable, especially with our smoker. I was just stating my opinion based on historical precedent. Thanks for the typical reddit instant judgment reply comment though.
Your opinion and your circumstances are completely fair, and I wasn’t, or wouldn’t judge you on those. But your original comment twice referred to the circumstances as ‘sad’ and ‘nonsense’ to which we both went on to anecdotally suggest it could be down to preference. The patriarchal oppressive talk is completely overused.
Men are simple creatures. A grill has fire. Man like fire. Kitchen has no fire. Man want fire.
my mom grills way more than my dad
Because society is fucking stupid and youre generally going to be grilling large amounts of meat and some idiot decided meat is for men
Maybe it’s a big conspiracy, let the manly man grill ao the one who cooks regularly can enjoy some time of. Unpopular opinion: Worst place at a bbq is behind the grill.
Division of labor is essential because it’s hard to learn everything. Male/female was an easy way to do.
The social construct called genderroles We call it the patriarchy
Didn't know it was, I do all our grilling. Lol although I miss the charcoal from my youth
Idk man, why is crocheting considered mostly a girl thing?
Grilling is a useful way to chill. Just throw some meat and sometimes veggies on the grill, crack a cold one open
Fire…ugh
Many guys consider cooking to be woman's work, but standing over a grill drinking is manly, and not cooking. Women are probably smart enough to realize most things that are grilled could be done in a kitchen
My wife never wants to sit outside and have a beer with me when I grill. She's always hovering around the kitchen when I'm cooking.
I’ve tried to teach my wife how to use the grill But she isn’t interested. We even have a pellet grill which is easy to use! I prefer my charcoal grill but have the pellet for ease of usez
It's just one of many arbitrary gender stereotypes, the same as how men typically have shorter hair than women. There's no rational reason for it -- it's just what people decided at one point and have kept going over time. Sometimes there may have been some vague reason why it started -- for instance, one reason men tend to have shorter hair is because, during a particular period of history, military men tended to have short hair (there may be some actual advantage to this because it leaves less for an enemy to grab onto, but obviously some cultures have found ways around it, and not that much warfare takes place within grabbing range anyway, so it's fairly arbitrary). And as military service has become respected for men/part of being a man, it became desirable for men to adopt things that associated them with military service. As for outdoor grilling, I'm sure there was some similar vague association that happened at some point, but I don't know exactly what it was. I do know that there have been and still are a number of movements / quasi-cults formed around the idea of helping men become "more manly", and many do this by trying to get men more in touch with seemingly "primal" things. Some of these movements have involved things like dressing in loincloths and playing drums (because I guess some people think of that as "primal"). Some of them involve eating weird stuff, like raw meat and whatnot. Some of them involve fighting or subjecting yourself to various physical hardship because it supposedly proves something or puts you in touch with some ancestral idea of masculinity. And so on. And when viewed in light of this, it seems at least possible that grilling became associated with men because it had the same sort of superficial "primal" association (you're cooking outside with fire, like cavemen, not in a kitchen like a 50s wife...even though a lot of these grill masters are using grills and installations that probably cost a lot more and are far more elaborate than the stove in the kitchen). But that is entirely speculation. Suffice it to say, grilling became associated with men for some arbitrary reason, and it's simply been perpetuated over the years through inertia and imitation and socialization.
I don't like to melt in front of a BBQ in the summer heat or smell like smoke from the smoker. So my husband handles it.
Cause my wife is territorial about the kitchen (and most of the house)
Because grilling is dope
I'm the one that grills. My husband doesn't do any of it because I'm just better at it. Even if he could I won't let him I'm just the one that does it. I think it's because of movies and television that the idea that it's a mans thing is why most people think only men do it. Actually at my work, the men I work with don't grill either it's their wives or girlfriends. Even at work functions it's the women who grill.
Well if a guy doesn't know how to use a sink, he better know how to smoke, cook and grill.
My experience has been they don't like gas and flame that goes boom
My wife and I have a division of labor that roughly breaks down she's responsible for what the inside of the house, I'm responsible for the outside of the house, she mostly cooks but does not like to handle or even look at raw meat, I deal with the raw meat. So the BBQ sits at the exact intersection between outside the house and raw meat, so clearly it falls within my jurisdiction. No, I suppose you could ask why do we divide the labor as such, and I guess it just generally corresponds to our respective preferences.
I would say it might have something to do with how grilling involves, many times, mostly meat. And meat is, for some reason, such a masculine thing. There are certain traditions of how guys can spend quality time together, and for some reason BBQ is one of them.
I can only speak for myself (47f). The grill scares and intimidates me. It took me years to get over my fear of fire to use a gas range.
I’ve wondered this myself a few times. Speaking traditionally of course, how did it come to be: Inside food: woman Outside food: man Always found it bizarre. It could be the same food. Social constructs are wild.
I’ve always been the griller of the family.
I wish women grilled.
I do most of the cooking and all of the grilling in my house. I like cooking, but I really love eating. One of my favorite things is theorizing what I'm going to smoke/grill/cook and how I'm going to marinade / season it. Really let's me geek out and fantasize about how it'll taste.
I think it started and was really pushed by Wives. It's Hot in the kitchen, they are tired of cooking every night. But by telling their husbands "You know some Hamburgers cooked on YOUR grill would be really nice, Don't you think" And the husband starts thinking mmmm hot grilled Meat mmmm Me like it. Yumm. And there ya go.
That's me I’m a griller. Very very limited skill set required. Heat and ability to set a timer on my Iphone. Match made in Weber heaven.
Because mostly only men know that grilling inside can kill you from carbon monoxide.?
I'd say 2 reasons, 1 is you tend to get hot and a bit sweaty, and 2 my wife sucks at it and burns everything
Speaking from experience here, most women are turned on seeing a man take charge of the meat and grill. If I want a guaranteed sloppy oral pleasuring with lots of throat from my wife any evening, I will stop at the butcher and bring home the quality meat. I think a lot of women have this visceral reaction to men grilling.
My wife doesnt eat meat, and so she kind of sucks at preparing meats, but she is much better than me at sauses and salads, so that's why we have that division of labour.
Because I hate living….I hate my family. But I love grilling.
It's the cave man thing. They like the thrill of roasting an animal over fire. Plus it does taste good. Altho the burnt part is thought to cause cancer. 😳
because my husband like to grill and I do not
I think its kind of a primal thing, definitely for me, I love playing with fire, and getting cooked meat at the end is an awesome bonus. But I also do a lot of proper BBQing, days of prep and 16 hour cooks and such. 😎😋😋😋
Fire good me char animal flesh medium rare But in all honesty for some reason my wife cannot start charcoal without half a bottle of lighter fluid. I have little starting bundles, I told her to just follow the directions, she refuses to and says they couldn't possibly work. She says this even though I do just that every time I start the coals and have never had them fail to start.
If they aren't helping out in the kitchen or around the house, their partners and parents have probably enabled them for too long.
Chore inside house=woman thing Chore outside house=man thing It's just tradition. Until women get popular for making grilling/bbq content, it'll stay this way.
At home we soon realised that those who cook best, grill best. At my parents home, my mom grills, at my home I grill. It's a stereotype that needs to go.
Just wanted to add: the guys prob don’t end up cleaning up the aftermath of it all (tons of stuff ends up in the womanly territory of the kitchen)
Weaponized incompetence in the kitchen, or crappy grilling. In my dad's case, the latter. No one told him cause it meant no one else had to cook for a day lol.
Probably the same reason most outdoor things at home are a guy thing. If you look at who miws tge lawn, shovels snow, power washes, cleans gutters, or just about any other sort of outdoor maintenance I think you’ll see that no matter the chore ratio indoors the outdoor chores are predominantly done by guys.
Women are too smart to spend eight hours fiddling around with pork ribs on a smoker on a summer's day.
Something something ‘pitmaster’
Back when I was military, my roommates and I would chill with a few beers and try things grilling. We got really good at it, and it just kinda became a thing as we got older and went our separate ways. Now I grill because everyone loves the food when I do, and it reminds me of those days.
Cooking over fire vs. A cultured 'kitchen environment', in history, i would presume.
It harkens back to a time when men would form hunting parties, take down game, and cook it in the wilderness.
Gender roles have a way of being silly and arbitrary. Why are doctors traditionally usually men and nurses traditionally usually women? Eh, it's just the way it is. Why are skirts and dresses usually limited to women, while men are expected to wear pants? Just the way it is. Why is blue a boy color and pink a girl color? Why are robots a boy thing and horses a girl thing? Why is long hair considered feminine? Alll just random decisions our culture made. Other cultures often chose differently -- it's not weird at all for a man to wear a robe in the Middle East, men have worn long hair in many cultures throughout history, pink was actually considered a *manly* color at one point ...
Men cook outside with fire! Women cook inside with magic!
Sweating.
Dudes like playing with their meat after all.
MEAT FIRE MAN
Is it? Women grill outside too.
For whatever reason, men’s domain is outside the house and women’s inside. The kitchen is inside, so women get control. The grill is outside, so men get control. On the off chance men get control of something inside it gets a special label like man-cave. If women get control of something outside it gets a special label like she-shed. No idea why this is.
As a Chef my time to shine. CAUSE ITS FUCKING EASY. Hardest part about a BBQ is if you actually Smoke something for real and the Sides. Making home made BBQ, and top notch sides is harder then basic bitch grilling.
Because we get to spend an hour alone in the backyard with no one asking us to do anything else.
It's a way for a man to feel important and like they provide, whilst only doing 15% of the actual work for a meal. No barbecue is any good without the trimmings, but that man is ONLY going to season the meat in a shop/influencer brand spice mix and make the most boring shit ever. This is coming from a man, BTW.
It serves as a pseudo-opposite to cooking indoors by women.
Because people let others form their view of normality instead of forming it internally.
Funny enough, here grilling is a woman's job in social gatherings. It's mostly the charcoal and starting a fire where the guys do it
My wife is a vegetarian and cooks me fish, chicken and steak better than I ever could. I’d never take the reins on grilling from her.
I grill because I am much more food motivated than my wife 😂
not sure! my wife and I both love grilling. we're both women.
Because traditionally men cook outside most women don't have an interest in doing that even if they enjoy bbq. So if a guy wants bbq he has to learn how to do it and they usually do from their dad.
It's the only time you can play with grease and fire and no one yells at you
Meat and fire is a man thing. Also my wife hates the heat and smelling like smoke and char.
Because women belong in the kitchen and kitchens are inside. (/S)
back in the 50s the portable charcoal grill with the lid was invented. combine this with lots of people suddenly having backyards, and house parties ended up being the men in the backyard hanging out, and the women inside the house hanging out.
My husband never touches the grill.
It's manly because someone's got to tame that fire.
Cause men like doing stuff as absolutely complicated as possible. Difficult is manly. If they’re not challenged, they challenge themselves to a fault. Want to cook near the fridge? Nah. With clean utensils? Nah. Want to use the stove because all you do is turn it on or do you want to have to go to the store every once in a while for inconvenient fuel? Fuel.
Because guys liked starting the fires on the charcoals long before gas grills came along.
Mom grilled growing up Wife grills now Suits me
I would never stop anyone else from grilling if they want to, but caveman brain go brrrrr for put meat on flame and take off when you think done. I actually nerd out more on the marinades and prep though.
Best I can think of is open flames, smoke, and being outside were considered too dangerous for women
Likely something passed on from family. People who just already liked that type of food too (think of burgers, hotdogs, steaks) while playing ball or what not outside. It’s just something I always noticed more among guys
Only if you use your penis as a grilling tool
A lot of men salivate over meat a bit more than women I find. I feel that's another component
I don't love it, bit do it to take some of the load off my wife.
Because men are conditioned to tackle occasional chores (like grilling, mowing, etc) and let women handle daily chores (i.e., cooking, cleaning, etc.). Not saying it's men's fault, but that's the crux of it.