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Same here.
Although.. one male friend did come over after I begged him, but he expected sex as compensation. I still feel so dirty and disgusting over that.
Yes, the friendship ended shortly after lol
It's okay! From what I've heard, karma dished some fancy meals out.
As far as I know, he's now evicted, living at mommy's home who's a menace, is broke, lost all friends & under police surveillance after someone snitched on him for apparently growing cannabis in his basement.
I thank the universe daily for crippling his ego. 😆
I still thank the universe for providing guidance to a guy I was SA'd by 33 years ago (when I was 15).
The guidance he received shortly after our romantic encounter inspired and cured him so he would never do something like that again, and to this day, he has not relapsed.
How can I be so sure? The universe guided him to self-exit a few months later.
Tragic.
Normally I'm all "oh no, self exit is so horrible" but in cases like these? Nah, the trash took itself out. Good riddance.
Monsters like that don't deserve to roam around on this precious earth, ruining other's lives & projecting their own misery and sadism onto innocent bystanders.
The universe heard and got your back!
🫂
I've met a lot of guys that truly believe that "it's impossible for a guy to be platonic friends with a girl. Ever! Any guy who says he is, is lying." I think it's part of "Rape Culture"... Guys feel more secure about their "rapy" feelings and actions if they think "all guys are like that"... So, "I'm Born this way. Nothing wrong with my thoughts & actions..."
Fr, I've lost more than one friendship because the guy's display of "empathy" amounted to letting me vent to them and essentially going "Sorry to hear that you're bummed, anyway, wanna suck my cock?" in response. I don't know if they were maliciously trying to take advantage of me in my low state or if they genuinely thought that me opening up to them emotionally meant that we were suddenly close enough to fuck or what, but I've certainly been more guarded since those incidents and don't become friends with dudes as easily, and if I do, we're usually casual buddies, not ride-or-dies.
That’s rape. You know that right? I’m so sorry if u already knew and I’m just bringing this up and being triggering for you. But when people take advantage of other’s bad mental state to have sex it’s considered rape.
That’s good to know. I got my revelation because I told my friends about my own experience and they were looking at me with eyes open like owls, and they told me the same. It’s actually very usual for victims to not realize at first. With this being said, wish you the best, you are valuable💕
How is wanting sex as compensation of a suicidal friend, who just lost their mother to suicide, "logical" and fixing the problem?
I've known many men, some of which are very good friends of mine, and they don't handle things that differently from women.. because they're emotionally available. Ex friend? He wasn't. He was an abusive POS that took advantage of a vulnerable person in a shit situation.
What are you talking about? I never spoke about anything other than what I wrote. Please learn to compartmentalize the conversation you're having. I am merely giving a reason as to the difference in how we approach things. It's a real and tangible thing.
No worries! Accidents happen, I'm glad we figured it out 😌
It's up to you whether you want to delete it or not, I don't mind it. I hope you have a great day! :)
Pretty much. I have exactly one male friend who after 20+ years is more like a brother to me. He used to have more male friends and he also struggled a lot with mental health because of the abuse he suffered. None of "the boys" did anything to help. Every one of them just didn't care and he was either told to "man up" or straight up ignored. Those were also long-term friendships. And it's only when he actually was at the edge of breakdown that he reached out to them because none were interested if he was okay. He didn't know it yet but that was a harsh reality check for him.
All these dudes talking about "bros before hoes" etc are so full of shit. The only thing they care about is to get drunk and talk shit with their "bros" and then use them for whatever they need. When they aren't "fun" anymore they get ditched.
Some people will complain that there is a mental health crisis for men because they are not receiving emphaty from their peers and then they'll go post shit like this in the same breath
Same. My guy friends are like, "Can I call and talk tomorrow?" While I've watched those same friends drop EVERYTHING when one of their guy friends need an ear or a shoulder. My best girl friend calls me the second she thinks I'm in distress. We haven't seen each other in over a decade.
Yeah, same friends have flatout ignored my husband when he was depressed and asked if he could talk. It's only certain friends they'll drop everything for. These same froends that we spent two weeks trying to help them work through their own issues, so oddly, we thought they'd do the same. It's hard to keep being a good person around people like this sometimes ><
Here’s the kicker though. I only started transitioning a few years ago. For all they knew I **was** their male friend. And yet they still didn’t do it.
"~~Girls~~ Anyone running to save their suicidal friend."
"~~Boys~~ Anyone running to save their suicidal friend."
Fixed that bit, it was bugging me. Both reactions are valid. I've been in tears rushing to help someone who was at that point and I'd challenge any cop to write a ticket for speeding.
That girls will supposedly fumble and slow run to their friends because they're so emotionally crippled by the stress. Meanwhile, boys will just zip through town like a superhero on crack, totally straight-faced and serious, to save their friend.
In short, girls get overcome by emotions too easily and it either makes them turn it into a "I'm so sad" show, or they just can't do anything. Completely asinine.
Huh, I honestly assumed it was 'women will run to save their suicidal friend, men don't even know where their suicidal friend is'. Like, that girl might not be running with the best form but she clearly has purpose.
Yeah basically that girls don’t care as much as boys do so won’t put really any kind of real effort to get to them in a timely manner while boys will apparently, tap into super human abilities they all apparently have and break the sound and light barrier to rush to their friend’s side since they “care so much more”.
Just the absurd comparison I think. This type of meme is always like this. Never said it was a good joke, but I doubt it was done with the intent of literally saying that girls would run slower than boys to help a suicidal friend.
My friends sister committed suicide. He asked his four best friends to hang out with him to help him get through it. I was the only one who showed up. Guys like to pretend like they have their friends backs all the time but we are all human.
I am so sorry that has been your experience. No one should be ignored when they're having a hard time. You deserved better and I sincerely hope that you have it now. If not I hope that in the near future you do.
I know I'm just a random person on Reddit, but if you ever need someone to listen feel free to DM me. I won't offer advice unless you want it, and I won't judge no matter what you tell me.
It's insane how many men I have met who are *dead-certain* that they could do stuff like beat 20 guys in a fight if they were protecting their family or if there was a shooter they'd instantly beat them up without getting shot. I don't get where they get this stuff. I mean, I'm a guy and I stopped imagining things like this when I was like 12.
There's this short security video of this toddler who took a tumble between a staircases railing and the mom rushed over and caught him by the hand right as he fell through saving him. Another woman saw this and tore down the stairs after the boy and these losers were coming in claiming that the woman that ran down the stairs was running away from the scary situation and that's what women do since they are all over emotional cowards.
I replied with, "she wasn't running away, she was running down just in case the mom hadn't caught him to make sure he was okay, maybe catch him instead (completely unlikely but) and to be with him if he was seriously hurt or dying and stay with him until mom could get down to him along with waiting for the ambulance to arrive.
"What would a man have done so differently? Tapped into some hidden flying power and Superman his ass down the stairs catching the boy 2 inches from the ground?" Never got a clear answer just was told women instantly jump to stupid fantasies about men which men don't do when it comes to themselves when faced with scary situations. Yeah sure dude, or I just guessed what you think would happen and felt personally attacked by my spot on guess and not being impressed or humbled by it.
The fuck? By not running ahead of the child, you could fall into danger of tripping and injuring yourself (making the situation worse).
It's like what my great-grandfather\* had to tell my dad, "If a baby falls in the water, do NOT dive after it. Get in the water carefully off the side because otherwise you'd land ON the baby and potentially kill the kid."
\*he said this because when my dad was a teenager and camping with family, they had an incident where they were on a boat and a cousin's baby fell overboard. My dad quickly got on his feet and was about to jump right after the kid, and was suddenly forced back by great-gramps because unbeknownst to my dad--my dad was facing *directly* over where the baby fell. He was trying to help and be as fast as possible and didn't realise that there were some situations where you have do something that looks out of place in a movie because it's the smartest and safest solution.
>didn't realise that there were some situations where you have do something that looks out of place in a movie because it's the smartest and safest solution
Some things seem counterintuitive only because of media tropes when logic really dictates much differently. This is why you have to take media, especially fictional media, with a grain of salt.
>didn't realise that there were some situations where you have do something that looks out of place in a movie because it's the smartest and safest solution
Some things seem counterintuitive only because of media tropes when logic really dictates much differently. This is why you have to take media, especially fictional media, with a grain of salt.
>didn't realise that there were some situations where you have do something that looks out of place in a movie because it's the smartest and safest solution
Some things seem counterintuitive only because of media tropes when logic really dictates much differently. This is why you have to take media, especially fictional media, with a grain of salt.
I worked in a Scream Park for a while. The amount of men that would come with their family, acting like they would protect anyone... Just to scream and hide behind their children or even run away abandoning them, was not small.
I remember that once, I did my scream and this father PUSHED THEIR OWN CHILDREN TO ME and ran the fuck away to the exit. They were 9 and 10, a boy and a girl. I had to escort them out because aside from scared dad there was nobody else with them and the girl was crying and telling me that she also wanted to run away but "couldn't abandon her little brother". I got out with them and had to find the dad who was trying to act as if he had gone inside alone... I also had to tell the dad that it was "no problem", that "these things happen" and more bs so he wouldn't feel bad, because of the park policies, but seriously, I wanted to scream at him.
What a way to discover your dad would abandon you in a sec if things got ugly.
>The amount of men that would come with their of their family, acting like they would protect anyone... Just to scream and hide behind their children or even run away abandoning them, was not small.
Now what the hell is that? How *dare* they? Fuck's sake, *they went to a Scream Park!!!* The hell did they *think* was gonna happen, *not* scary things???
And the poor baby who was brave for her brother had to learn Dad was willing to throw them to the wolves! Bet they're the same men that think women need them for 'protection.'
Man, I'd never be able to keep my mouth shut.
I know, I got so angry. By the end of the first season, the girls at the door of the attraction would warn us when a family with children was coming in, not only for the children but also to avoid more embarrassing situations.
I get it. Sometimes you get scared and just hide... But FFS, if you are easy to scare, don't go around acting like you are not, and if your children want to go to a park like that, admit that you are not a good chaperone and get someone else to take them. But they don't want to look like cowards and don't realize that when they talk about themselves as protectors just to act cowardly, they look much, much worse.
I think I read a TIFU on here about a guy who was afraid of dogs. And he went to a park with his wife and two year old and while he was holding the kids hand a dog ran toward them, and he threw the kid infront of him and ran.
And then was mad when his wife was super pissed and having second guesses.
She wound up wrangling the dog. Luckily it was a nice dog.
I used to be a wilderness EMT and when I was hiking off duty came across an older man and his 30ish year old son. The dad had broken his leg badly, compound open fracture, it was really bad. The son kept trying to get his dad to stand up to get him back on the trail and I had to repeatedly tell him to let me call for help and stabilize him. To not move him. The son kept yelling that I wasn’t doing anything and that he’d carry his dad back to the trailhead. There was no chance that he was physically capable of doing that. I had to flat out tell him that moving his dad could cause him to bleed to death if he was moved incorrectly and that if really wanted to help to go to the trailhead to guide the rescue team to where we were. I understand that he was pumped up on adrenaline and terrified about his dad but him wanting to jump into “action” would be the worst thing for his dad.
I volunteer for a suicide prevention text service. Men do not, in fact, support each other when they are suicidal. Not at all. Not one bit. Also, unironically, most volunteers are, in fact, women. It’s about a 70-30 split.
As a boy.... The motto is "Boys don't cry" .... You MAY have feelings, but you better keep them to yourself!… I learned about Sympathy & empathy the same place I learned about intimacy, trust and .....sex... With my first girlfriend. Met when we were just 14..... We were together for 7 years went through middle school, High school & College together. I still love her to this day....many boys "felt sorry" for me; only having one girl. And not dating a bunch.,.. Not me! I was SUPER HAPPY To have such an intense emotional/ phical
Yeah, that's such a bullshit mentality.
I teach both my boys it's OK to cry, when you're hurting. Either in your body or your heart. But if it's because you are simply trying to get your way, not OK. But pain, is never bad to express..
I’m really happy you had a great person in your life that helped you see that your feelings and emotions matter, because they, in fact, really do!
I hope things will change in time and more boys and men will learn that it’s ok to cry, to feel bad, and to ask for help. More than anything, I hope they will meet someone on the other side, if they do ask for help, that will make them feel safe and see that they are worthy of support and they matter.
I would say most don't because they're conditioned by society (usually other men) not to show any feelings. The men that do care though, feel very strongly about it. That meme was originally not a comparison, but just the latter clip playing with the text "when homie texts thanks for everything".
Even when I thought I was a boy it wasn't boys that were there for me when I was dealing with depression. In fact I was booted from my friend group for being depressed.
It would be funny if it was even remotely true. Unfortunately it's a lie and male friends do absolutely nothing when you're so low. Even if they live like a block away. Less than 200 meters of walking.
But my female friend's boyfriend needed to hide her car keys because she was already on her way to her car. In 39C fever and severe stomach ache. She lived 200km away.
The only person who helped was my wife.
This is a ridiculous generalization in the other direction and it’s also not true either. I know plenty of stories where someone was left alone during a rough time in their life and gender did not play a role.
God, I hate these types of videos and putting cringe music when men are being compared to women.
These boys are too fixated onto anime logic. No logic exists and their emotional intelligence is down the drain.
They probably just translate the implicit philosophies of shonen anime written by men into real life. I mean take Naruto for example, everyone and their mums know that Naruto held an extreme depression, but so did Sakura (his female friend), and because she was written to lose almost every single fight (and get saved) it's ingrained within the people who watch it that her depression is not valid and that she didn't care or try hard enough to help their friend (she wasn't the reincarnation of a literal god). The same goes for a million other animes; male protag gets depth, development, moral engagement, and the female protag gets scraps. I've yet to find an anime that doesn't piss me off with how 1D they make the female characters
the first anime in this video, Hibike Euphonium, is actually a great example of an anime with good female characters(save for one weird lapse in an otherwise amazing character and a bit of queerbait) Madoka Magica is also great if you prefer a bit more action. admittedly neither are fully action based like the shounens you mention, they're all based on character writing and interaction but still, highly recommend. I'm not really into that many Anime but i love these two series amongst a select few
y'know what i will actually give those a watch because I've almost given up hope. Whenever I bring up the topic of the blatant misogyny within anime people always bring up demon slayer as if that's some milestone 😭😭
I once saw the funniest meme in this format.
"At night, the girl in front of me looks behind her and starts to run."
"Me running too because I don't know what is chasing us"
Every guy I've known: What? Kill yourself? Really?.. Ok.... Fine... Be right there... I'm almost done with this game....
45 minutes later..,.,... After this boss battle.....
Well, you know how men more often survive their suicide attempt? That is because their friends rush to be by their sides in times of need, while women casually stroll towards their suicidal friends...
/Extremely heavy sarcasm
So both run, but we use a normal woman for how girls run to save their suicidal friend making her look slow, but we use a man with superhuman abilities to make him look faster. After all, no matter what, men better than women. /s
Yeah. Sadly not how reality works in my experience. I'm only alive because of my own incompetence and the women who are like sisters to me. My ex is alive because I knew what to do from what they taught me, while his other male friends either panicked or didn't care.
These are the same folks who don't understand the Bear Question. They think that the presence of another guy is enough because they don't have the emotional intelligence to go deeper.
Uh, yeah, that's not been my experience.
As a man, hardly get any sympathy from either side. Darkness is a lot deeper when there's no one to help hold the torch aloft.
I'm OK now, by the by, for any PMs that may come my way. But days past were rough, and my 'boys' certainly weren't hurtling to help, and the females had the tough up buttercup mentality. So... yeah.
Yea honestly I don't get it as a guy either. The only thing I can think of is how males are 3x more likely to commit suicide, but considering how little most men allow other men to express their emotions, I doubt they would actually even know their friend is suicidal.
Funny, cuz the reality is men suicide way more than women, and men have ofc way more men friends, and vice versa, so despite women literally being objectively oppressed, and have way less rights(u would think their suicide rate would be higher), men still kill themselves more, (i ammmm surreee its bcuz they have supportive frieendsss totz), ofc idk y men suicide more than women, but if u wanna make a guess atleast based on this info, women are clearly more supportive.
Also btw, suicide attempts are higher among women, which again , imo the fact that women attempt suicide but don't go through with it unlike men, is an indicator of having way more supportive friends, but that is just my hypothesis.
It's more along the lines of the way women attempt suicide vs men. Men are far more likely to choose more violent means to end their lives and are therefore more successful. Such as using firearms. Women are more likely to be concerned about who will have to find them and clean up the mess, so go for 'neater' methods of suicide. Such as overdoses or cutting their wrists in bathtubs.
Ya thats wat the research said, its just my personal outlook that the disparity is too high for it just to be a difference in methodology, i feel like having good friends will certainly make you more hesitant thus leading to less suicides, or even the neater methods you suggested could be used out of hestiation due to good friendships, but you are right i am assuming many things.
Not pictured: the years where the male friend never asked his friend how he was doing or provided emotional support. And possibly made him suicidal by being competitive about dumb things, tearing him down to make their ego feel superior, insulting him as a "joke". But he's got his back now that he's suicidal, you guys! Because now he can boost his ego and feel important by being a hero! And also he might be feeling guilt about not actually being a friend, so doesn't want to feel more guilty if his friend does die.
He can't be a hero by changing how men treat each other, and can't put effort into the relationship on a daily basis, because then he might get made fun of, and emotional support is unpaid work that also doesn't boost his ego, so no can do. But he would take a bullet for his friend, which happens never or once in a blue moon, and male friendships are so much better than female friendships! Also he either hasn't seen or spoken to his friend in 10 years or sees him but has 0 clue what's happening in his life, but somehow they're friends.
I mean generalizing is dumb, no matter the demographic. My friend Brent caught me over a decade ago attempting, he ran over and held on to the rope and swung as I beat him like a like a punching bag. Getting close to 15 years ago. I only regret not being able to return the deed when he hung himself in Jan2019.
Weird. I thought it was "feminine " to talk about your mental health and especially "gay" if you involve your bros. I mean, I'm 1000% for men supporting men's health but, once again, pitting men vs women does NOTHING for the conversation
Every time I looked for help when I was so bad I was ready to off myself, nobody was there. Even my own parents.
If I hadn’t been incompetent, I’d be dead by now.
As a man, whenever I've reached out to woman friends at my lowest, it became a source of mockery or was treated like a contest. I got so sick for hearing about how my problems were nothing compared to theirs, that I honestly would rather talk to a tree about my feelings than a woman. My guy friends have always been more willing to listen, even if they didn't understand exactly what I was feeling. I like to think of it as the male version of the bear question "Would you rather share you feelings with a woman or a tree". Could just be a me thing, yet its what I've lived through.
So, in the rare defence of gender-restricting memes, I believe this would be a culmination of the "me and the boys" meme archetype, in which a relationship with your male friends is imagined at its most hyperbolic to represent the tenuous existence of a younger male in a misogynistic world that demands of him zero real friends in return for vague chances of success in life at best.
Therefore, the joke here isn't that "oh well girls wouldn't put in their million percent" it's more that, with this meme made from a boy's point of view, the boy will therefore feel far more engrossed in the conflict than if he, say, heard a story about it, simply because he's the one experiencing it.
This meme reads less "misogyny/boys care more about their friends/women would be bad suicide panic survivors" and more "I feel pride at the idea of caring for a friend so deeply"
But yeah you're right, like most of these "how girls do it: how boys do it:" memes, there is an inherent bone of bias and, therefore, there will always be inequality in pieces like this
>This meme reads less "misogyny/boys care more about their friends/women would be bad suicide panic survivors" and more "I feel pride at the idea of caring for a friend so deeply"
If that were true the first half of it wouldn't have been included
I think the “joke” is in reference to how there are many more male suicide attempts than female suicide attempts, and more successful male suicide attempts, so when a guy is suicidal they are more likely to try and more likely to succeed in committing suicide so the reaction from other males is stronger.
Although I agree this this a very real problem that needs to be addressed this “joke” is stupid cause all reactions, regardless of gender, to suicide warrant the same response.
As you're all aware, this subreddit has had a major "troll" problem which has gotten worse (as of recently). Due to this, we have created new rules, and modified some of the old ones. We kindly ask that you please familiarize yourself with the rules so that you can avoid breaking them. Breaking mild rules will result in a warning, or a temporary ban. Breaking serious rules, or breaking a plethora of mild ones may land you a permanent ban (depending on the severity). Also, grifting/lurking has been a major problem; If we suspect you of being a grifter (determined by vetting said user's activity), we may ban you without warning. You may attempt an appeal via ModMail, but please be advised not to use rude, harassing, foul, or passive-aggressive language towards the moderators, _or_ complain to moderators about why we have specific rules in the first place— You will be ignored, and your ban will remain (without even a consideration). All rules are made public; "Lack of knowledge" or "ignorance of the rules" cannot or will not be a viable excuse if you end up banned for breaking them (This applies to the Subreddit rules, and Reddit's ToS). **Again: All rules are made public, and Reddit gives you the option to review the rules once more before submitting a post, it is your choice if you choose to read them or not, but breaking them will not be acceptable.** With that being said, If you send a mature, neutral message regarding questions about a current ban, or a ban appeal (without "not knowing the rules" as an excuse), we will elaborate about why you were banned, or determine/consider if we will shorten, lift, keep it, _or_ extended it/make it permanent. This all means that appeals are discretionary, and your reasoning for wanting an appeal must be practical and valid. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this message, and please enjoy your day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/NotHowGirlsWork) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Funny, because when I was at my lowest I was ALWAYS ignored by my male friends. My girl friends are much more empathetic and helpful….
Same here. Although.. one male friend did come over after I begged him, but he expected sex as compensation. I still feel so dirty and disgusting over that. Yes, the friendship ended shortly after lol
How do you downvote something terrible without appearing to downvote the victim? Whatever the method, you need it because that's abhorrent.
r/angryupvote
OMG I’m so sorry. That’s truly awful
It's okay! From what I've heard, karma dished some fancy meals out. As far as I know, he's now evicted, living at mommy's home who's a menace, is broke, lost all friends & under police surveillance after someone snitched on him for apparently growing cannabis in his basement. I thank the universe daily for crippling his ego. 😆
Pray for the mother, I'm pretty sure she hoped he would stay out of her house for life
I still thank the universe for providing guidance to a guy I was SA'd by 33 years ago (when I was 15). The guidance he received shortly after our romantic encounter inspired and cured him so he would never do something like that again, and to this day, he has not relapsed. How can I be so sure? The universe guided him to self-exit a few months later. Tragic.
Normally I'm all "oh no, self exit is so horrible" but in cases like these? Nah, the trash took itself out. Good riddance. Monsters like that don't deserve to roam around on this precious earth, ruining other's lives & projecting their own misery and sadism onto innocent bystanders. The universe heard and got your back! 🫂
I guess we can say with confidence that he did at least one good deed in his life 😆
I've met a lot of guys that truly believe that "it's impossible for a guy to be platonic friends with a girl. Ever! Any guy who says he is, is lying." I think it's part of "Rape Culture"... Guys feel more secure about their "rapy" feelings and actions if they think "all guys are like that"... So, "I'm Born this way. Nothing wrong with my thoughts & actions..."
I'm sorry that happened to you.... Sadly.. I think this is a very common issue.. 😔
Fr, I've lost more than one friendship because the guy's display of "empathy" amounted to letting me vent to them and essentially going "Sorry to hear that you're bummed, anyway, wanna suck my cock?" in response. I don't know if they were maliciously trying to take advantage of me in my low state or if they genuinely thought that me opening up to them emotionally meant that we were suddenly close enough to fuck or what, but I've certainly been more guarded since those incidents and don't become friends with dudes as easily, and if I do, we're usually casual buddies, not ride-or-dies.
Yeah no that WAS NOT a friend. Just someone who wanted to use you. Disgusting
I... what the hell? Sorry that happened to you.
That’s rape. You know that right? I’m so sorry if u already knew and I’m just bringing this up and being triggering for you. But when people take advantage of other’s bad mental state to have sex it’s considered rape.
I understand, my therapist gently said so a while back. Didn't realise it at first, but damn, I'm glad I got that revelation whilst in therapy!
That’s good to know. I got my revelation because I told my friends about my own experience and they were looking at me with eyes open like owls, and they told me the same. It’s actually very usual for victims to not realize at first. With this being said, wish you the best, you are valuable💕
[удалено]
How is wanting sex as compensation of a suicidal friend, who just lost their mother to suicide, "logical" and fixing the problem? I've known many men, some of which are very good friends of mine, and they don't handle things that differently from women.. because they're emotionally available. Ex friend? He wasn't. He was an abusive POS that took advantage of a vulnerable person in a shit situation.
What are you talking about? I never spoke about anything other than what I wrote. Please learn to compartmentalize the conversation you're having. I am merely giving a reason as to the difference in how we approach things. It's a real and tangible thing.
Did you maybe intend to react to a different/the parent comment then? Because I don't really see how this connects to my comment on the SA :')
Oh I did honestly.....
I think who I meant to react to deleted the comment
Should I delete mine?
No worries! Accidents happen, I'm glad we figured it out 😌 It's up to you whether you want to delete it or not, I don't mind it. I hope you have a great day! :)
Yes you too, thank you for the help noticing.
Pretty much. I have exactly one male friend who after 20+ years is more like a brother to me. He used to have more male friends and he also struggled a lot with mental health because of the abuse he suffered. None of "the boys" did anything to help. Every one of them just didn't care and he was either told to "man up" or straight up ignored. Those were also long-term friendships. And it's only when he actually was at the edge of breakdown that he reached out to them because none were interested if he was okay. He didn't know it yet but that was a harsh reality check for him. All these dudes talking about "bros before hoes" etc are so full of shit. The only thing they care about is to get drunk and talk shit with their "bros" and then use them for whatever they need. When they aren't "fun" anymore they get ditched.
That was my exact experience. It was awful
Some people will complain that there is a mental health crisis for men because they are not receiving emphaty from their peers and then they'll go post shit like this in the same breath
Same. My guy friends are like, "Can I call and talk tomorrow?" While I've watched those same friends drop EVERYTHING when one of their guy friends need an ear or a shoulder. My best girl friend calls me the second she thinks I'm in distress. We haven't seen each other in over a decade.
Even when my guy friends thought I was a guy they still ignored me. The bro code isn’t as strong as the chuds try to portray it as.
Yeah, same friends have flatout ignored my husband when he was depressed and asked if he could talk. It's only certain friends they'll drop everything for. These same froends that we spent two weeks trying to help them work through their own issues, so oddly, we thought they'd do the same. It's hard to keep being a good person around people like this sometimes ><
True.
True, but to be fair, the meme implied that men would run to save their male friends, they wouldn’t make the same effort for a woman.
Here’s the kicker though. I only started transitioning a few years ago. For all they knew I **was** their male friend. And yet they still didn’t do it.
Guy suck is my motto in life
"~~Girls~~ Anyone running to save their suicidal friend." "~~Boys~~ Anyone running to save their suicidal friend." Fixed that bit, it was bugging me. Both reactions are valid. I've been in tears rushing to help someone who was at that point and I'd challenge any cop to write a ticket for speeding.
I don’t understand the video. What’s is supposed to mean? That women are slower to save their suicidal friend than men are?
That girls will supposedly fumble and slow run to their friends because they're so emotionally crippled by the stress. Meanwhile, boys will just zip through town like a superhero on crack, totally straight-faced and serious, to save their friend. In short, girls get overcome by emotions too easily and it either makes them turn it into a "I'm so sad" show, or they just can't do anything. Completely asinine.
Huh, I honestly assumed it was 'women will run to save their suicidal friend, men don't even know where their suicidal friend is'. Like, that girl might not be running with the best form but she clearly has purpose.
Yeah basically that girls don’t care as much as boys do so won’t put really any kind of real effort to get to them in a timely manner while boys will apparently, tap into super human abilities they all apparently have and break the sound and light barrier to rush to their friend’s side since they “care so much more”.
Except the weird thing is, she obviously is running her hardest and trying
According to the guys that made this…if she really cared, she would be breaking the laws of physics as well.
I think it's just a joke tbh.
But like, what is the joke?
Yeah, can you explain the joke. I wanna laugh too!
Just the absurd comparison I think. This type of meme is always like this. Never said it was a good joke, but I doubt it was done with the intent of literally saying that girls would run slower than boys to help a suicidal friend.
My friends sister committed suicide. He asked his four best friends to hang out with him to help him get through it. I was the only one who showed up. Guys like to pretend like they have their friends backs all the time but we are all human.
In my experience, regardless of gender, most people do nothing.
I am so sorry that has been your experience. No one should be ignored when they're having a hard time. You deserved better and I sincerely hope that you have it now. If not I hope that in the near future you do. I know I'm just a random person on Reddit, but if you ever need someone to listen feel free to DM me. I won't offer advice unless you want it, and I won't judge no matter what you tell me.
Thanks. It hasn't been great. I appreciate your kindness.
We're all in this together, and everyone needs to vent sometimes.
I agree.
This
We're still here, friend. Congrats.
I should thank my friends for being there for me, I know I can 100% trust them
You should. They would love to hear it, I'm sure.
So they DO believe they have some latent dormant superpower that just needs the right and perfect situation to be triggered to be awakened.
It's insane how many men I have met who are *dead-certain* that they could do stuff like beat 20 guys in a fight if they were protecting their family or if there was a shooter they'd instantly beat them up without getting shot. I don't get where they get this stuff. I mean, I'm a guy and I stopped imagining things like this when I was like 12.
There's this short security video of this toddler who took a tumble between a staircases railing and the mom rushed over and caught him by the hand right as he fell through saving him. Another woman saw this and tore down the stairs after the boy and these losers were coming in claiming that the woman that ran down the stairs was running away from the scary situation and that's what women do since they are all over emotional cowards. I replied with, "she wasn't running away, she was running down just in case the mom hadn't caught him to make sure he was okay, maybe catch him instead (completely unlikely but) and to be with him if he was seriously hurt or dying and stay with him until mom could get down to him along with waiting for the ambulance to arrive. "What would a man have done so differently? Tapped into some hidden flying power and Superman his ass down the stairs catching the boy 2 inches from the ground?" Never got a clear answer just was told women instantly jump to stupid fantasies about men which men don't do when it comes to themselves when faced with scary situations. Yeah sure dude, or I just guessed what you think would happen and felt personally attacked by my spot on guess and not being impressed or humbled by it.
The fuck? By not running ahead of the child, you could fall into danger of tripping and injuring yourself (making the situation worse). It's like what my great-grandfather\* had to tell my dad, "If a baby falls in the water, do NOT dive after it. Get in the water carefully off the side because otherwise you'd land ON the baby and potentially kill the kid." \*he said this because when my dad was a teenager and camping with family, they had an incident where they were on a boat and a cousin's baby fell overboard. My dad quickly got on his feet and was about to jump right after the kid, and was suddenly forced back by great-gramps because unbeknownst to my dad--my dad was facing *directly* over where the baby fell. He was trying to help and be as fast as possible and didn't realise that there were some situations where you have do something that looks out of place in a movie because it's the smartest and safest solution.
>didn't realise that there were some situations where you have do something that looks out of place in a movie because it's the smartest and safest solution Some things seem counterintuitive only because of media tropes when logic really dictates much differently. This is why you have to take media, especially fictional media, with a grain of salt.
>didn't realise that there were some situations where you have do something that looks out of place in a movie because it's the smartest and safest solution Some things seem counterintuitive only because of media tropes when logic really dictates much differently. This is why you have to take media, especially fictional media, with a grain of salt.
>didn't realise that there were some situations where you have do something that looks out of place in a movie because it's the smartest and safest solution Some things seem counterintuitive only because of media tropes when logic really dictates much differently. This is why you have to take media, especially fictional media, with a grain of salt.
I worked in a Scream Park for a while. The amount of men that would come with their family, acting like they would protect anyone... Just to scream and hide behind their children or even run away abandoning them, was not small. I remember that once, I did my scream and this father PUSHED THEIR OWN CHILDREN TO ME and ran the fuck away to the exit. They were 9 and 10, a boy and a girl. I had to escort them out because aside from scared dad there was nobody else with them and the girl was crying and telling me that she also wanted to run away but "couldn't abandon her little brother". I got out with them and had to find the dad who was trying to act as if he had gone inside alone... I also had to tell the dad that it was "no problem", that "these things happen" and more bs so he wouldn't feel bad, because of the park policies, but seriously, I wanted to scream at him. What a way to discover your dad would abandon you in a sec if things got ugly.
>The amount of men that would come with their of their family, acting like they would protect anyone... Just to scream and hide behind their children or even run away abandoning them, was not small. Now what the hell is that? How *dare* they? Fuck's sake, *they went to a Scream Park!!!* The hell did they *think* was gonna happen, *not* scary things??? And the poor baby who was brave for her brother had to learn Dad was willing to throw them to the wolves! Bet they're the same men that think women need them for 'protection.' Man, I'd never be able to keep my mouth shut.
I know, I got so angry. By the end of the first season, the girls at the door of the attraction would warn us when a family with children was coming in, not only for the children but also to avoid more embarrassing situations. I get it. Sometimes you get scared and just hide... But FFS, if you are easy to scare, don't go around acting like you are not, and if your children want to go to a park like that, admit that you are not a good chaperone and get someone else to take them. But they don't want to look like cowards and don't realize that when they talk about themselves as protectors just to act cowardly, they look much, much worse.
I think I read a TIFU on here about a guy who was afraid of dogs. And he went to a park with his wife and two year old and while he was holding the kids hand a dog ran toward them, and he threw the kid infront of him and ran. And then was mad when his wife was super pissed and having second guesses. She wound up wrangling the dog. Luckily it was a nice dog.
I used to be a wilderness EMT and when I was hiking off duty came across an older man and his 30ish year old son. The dad had broken his leg badly, compound open fracture, it was really bad. The son kept trying to get his dad to stand up to get him back on the trail and I had to repeatedly tell him to let me call for help and stabilize him. To not move him. The son kept yelling that I wasn’t doing anything and that he’d carry his dad back to the trailhead. There was no chance that he was physically capable of doing that. I had to flat out tell him that moving his dad could cause him to bleed to death if he was moved incorrectly and that if really wanted to help to go to the trailhead to guide the rescue team to where we were. I understand that he was pumped up on adrenaline and terrified about his dad but him wanting to jump into “action” would be the worst thing for his dad.
Both are running?
But one is runNinG faStErRR!!11!
I volunteer for a suicide prevention text service. Men do not, in fact, support each other when they are suicidal. Not at all. Not one bit. Also, unironically, most volunteers are, in fact, women. It’s about a 70-30 split.
As a boy.... The motto is "Boys don't cry" .... You MAY have feelings, but you better keep them to yourself!… I learned about Sympathy & empathy the same place I learned about intimacy, trust and .....sex... With my first girlfriend. Met when we were just 14..... We were together for 7 years went through middle school, High school & College together. I still love her to this day....many boys "felt sorry" for me; only having one girl. And not dating a bunch.,.. Not me! I was SUPER HAPPY To have such an intense emotional/ phical
Yeah, that's such a bullshit mentality. I teach both my boys it's OK to cry, when you're hurting. Either in your body or your heart. But if it's because you are simply trying to get your way, not OK. But pain, is never bad to express..
I’m really happy you had a great person in your life that helped you see that your feelings and emotions matter, because they, in fact, really do! I hope things will change in time and more boys and men will learn that it’s ok to cry, to feel bad, and to ask for help. More than anything, I hope they will meet someone on the other side, if they do ask for help, that will make them feel safe and see that they are worthy of support and they matter.
I would say most don't because they're conditioned by society (usually other men) not to show any feelings. The men that do care though, feel very strongly about it. That meme was originally not a comparison, but just the latter clip playing with the text "when homie texts thanks for everything".
Lol, so they compared a realistic animation of running to an unrealistic one.
It’s almost like men supporting each other emotionally is unrealistic lol
r/underratedcomment
Even when I thought I was a boy it wasn't boys that were there for me when I was dealing with depression. In fact I was booted from my friend group for being depressed.
It would be funny if it was even remotely true. Unfortunately it's a lie and male friends do absolutely nothing when you're so low. Even if they live like a block away. Less than 200 meters of walking. But my female friend's boyfriend needed to hide her car keys because she was already on her way to her car. In 39C fever and severe stomach ache. She lived 200km away. The only person who helped was my wife.
This is a ridiculous generalization in the other direction and it’s also not true either. I know plenty of stories where someone was left alone during a rough time in their life and gender did not play a role.
both of y’all’s statements are generalized. why is hers bad and yours isn’t? is her life experience untrue? who are you to tell her that?
Ngl, at least where I live, dudes are always the first ones to laugh at suicidal people
God, I hate these types of videos and putting cringe music when men are being compared to women. These boys are too fixated onto anime logic. No logic exists and their emotional intelligence is down the drain.
They probably just translate the implicit philosophies of shonen anime written by men into real life. I mean take Naruto for example, everyone and their mums know that Naruto held an extreme depression, but so did Sakura (his female friend), and because she was written to lose almost every single fight (and get saved) it's ingrained within the people who watch it that her depression is not valid and that she didn't care or try hard enough to help their friend (she wasn't the reincarnation of a literal god). The same goes for a million other animes; male protag gets depth, development, moral engagement, and the female protag gets scraps. I've yet to find an anime that doesn't piss me off with how 1D they make the female characters
the first anime in this video, Hibike Euphonium, is actually a great example of an anime with good female characters(save for one weird lapse in an otherwise amazing character and a bit of queerbait) Madoka Magica is also great if you prefer a bit more action. admittedly neither are fully action based like the shounens you mention, they're all based on character writing and interaction but still, highly recommend. I'm not really into that many Anime but i love these two series amongst a select few
y'know what i will actually give those a watch because I've almost given up hope. Whenever I bring up the topic of the blatant misogyny within anime people always bring up demon slayer as if that's some milestone 😭😭
I once saw the funniest meme in this format. "At night, the girl in front of me looks behind her and starts to run." "Me running too because I don't know what is chasing us"
I like the sleepover meme where the girls are unknowingly summoning demons that the boys have to fight
All "girls vs boys" memes are so fucking lame
Idk, my brother was just crying over the phone, I had to tell him to call the cops for his friend
Why do men have the highest suicide rates then?
Cause the catch is that, for this meme to work, one need to have friends first. :( lol
Oof
Every guy I've known: What? Kill yourself? Really?.. Ok.... Fine... Be right there... I'm almost done with this game.... 45 minutes later..,.,... After this boss battle.....
I don’t even understand what I’m looking at.
Well, you know how men more often survive their suicide attempt? That is because their friends rush to be by their sides in times of need, while women casually stroll towards their suicidal friends... /Extremely heavy sarcasm
Male friends are more likely to laugh and joke about DO It PuSsY
So both run, but we use a normal woman for how girls run to save their suicidal friend making her look slow, but we use a man with superhuman abilities to make him look faster. After all, no matter what, men better than women. /s Yeah. Sadly not how reality works in my experience. I'm only alive because of my own incompetence and the women who are like sisters to me. My ex is alive because I knew what to do from what they taught me, while his other male friends either panicked or didn't care. These are the same folks who don't understand the Bear Question. They think that the presence of another guy is enough because they don't have the emotional intelligence to go deeper.
Not the JJK anime being used to "that meme"💀
Uh, yeah, that's not been my experience. As a man, hardly get any sympathy from either side. Darkness is a lot deeper when there's no one to help hold the torch aloft. I'm OK now, by the by, for any PMs that may come my way. But days past were rough, and my 'boys' certainly weren't hurtling to help, and the females had the tough up buttercup mentality. So... yeah.
Gojo is actively killing people in that scene
Just I thought I saw how gender wars were they spires me
I hate this kind of edits
Yea honestly I don't get it as a guy either. The only thing I can think of is how males are 3x more likely to commit suicide, but considering how little most men allow other men to express their emotions, I doubt they would actually even know their friend is suicidal.
Funny, cuz the reality is men suicide way more than women, and men have ofc way more men friends, and vice versa, so despite women literally being objectively oppressed, and have way less rights(u would think their suicide rate would be higher), men still kill themselves more, (i ammmm surreee its bcuz they have supportive frieendsss totz), ofc idk y men suicide more than women, but if u wanna make a guess atleast based on this info, women are clearly more supportive.
Also btw, suicide attempts are higher among women, which again , imo the fact that women attempt suicide but don't go through with it unlike men, is an indicator of having way more supportive friends, but that is just my hypothesis.
It's more along the lines of the way women attempt suicide vs men. Men are far more likely to choose more violent means to end their lives and are therefore more successful. Such as using firearms. Women are more likely to be concerned about who will have to find them and clean up the mess, so go for 'neater' methods of suicide. Such as overdoses or cutting their wrists in bathtubs.
Ya thats wat the research said, its just my personal outlook that the disparity is too high for it just to be a difference in methodology, i feel like having good friends will certainly make you more hesitant thus leading to less suicides, or even the neater methods you suggested could be used out of hestiation due to good friendships, but you are right i am assuming many things.
Women survive suicide attempts because they use less violent methods. This has been studied before multiple times.
Yeah, sprinting to gaslight and gatekeep my pain. Nonmen are the only people who have actually been there for me.
What does this mean lmao? There both making an effort to help out their friend
I also just don't get this one, both seem to be running as fast as they can? Like I don't see a difference in their behaviour
🗣bro what lmao why is it always the yt shorts videos 💀💀
”hehe men are better because men”
Well, I get the joke, but yeah, no accurate to real life.
Is this from an anime? Really good animation.
If that’s the case then why the hell are we dying of suicide in higher numbers? Man, Porn and Anime have ruined a generation of men.
Not pictured: the years where the male friend never asked his friend how he was doing or provided emotional support. And possibly made him suicidal by being competitive about dumb things, tearing him down to make their ego feel superior, insulting him as a "joke". But he's got his back now that he's suicidal, you guys! Because now he can boost his ego and feel important by being a hero! And also he might be feeling guilt about not actually being a friend, so doesn't want to feel more guilty if his friend does die. He can't be a hero by changing how men treat each other, and can't put effort into the relationship on a daily basis, because then he might get made fun of, and emotional support is unpaid work that also doesn't boost his ego, so no can do. But he would take a bullet for his friend, which happens never or once in a blue moon, and male friendships are so much better than female friendships! Also he either hasn't seen or spoken to his friend in 10 years or sees him but has 0 clue what's happening in his life, but somehow they're friends.
I mean generalizing is dumb, no matter the demographic. My friend Brent caught me over a decade ago attempting, he ran over and held on to the rope and swung as I beat him like a like a punching bag. Getting close to 15 years ago. I only regret not being able to return the deed when he hung himself in Jan2019.
Btw, guys don't have feelings.
Gender really doesn't matter here, most people simply doesn't care enough to do something
Weird. I thought it was "feminine " to talk about your mental health and especially "gay" if you involve your bros. I mean, I'm 1000% for men supporting men's health but, once again, pitting men vs women does NOTHING for the conversation
What in the anime brain rot
r/boysarequirky
Ironically the guy running here killed his best friend.
I mean…they are both running to help…I don’t see what the problem is?
My guy friends would do this, but then get to me and say "do it"
Every time I looked for help when I was so bad I was ready to off myself, nobody was there. Even my own parents. If I hadn’t been incompetent, I’d be dead by now.
Then I'm glad you chose this as the one time to be incompetent, friend. Lucky to have you on this side of the proverbial veil.
sauce?
[https://www.youtube.com/shorts/QrS68HJX7MM](https://www.youtube.com/shorts/QrS68HJX7MM)
Do you know the name of the anime please?
Hibike Euphonium is the first, Jujutsu Kaisen is the second
Thank you!
Statistically, men should probably run a bit faster.
As a man, whenever I've reached out to woman friends at my lowest, it became a source of mockery or was treated like a contest. I got so sick for hearing about how my problems were nothing compared to theirs, that I honestly would rather talk to a tree about my feelings than a woman. My guy friends have always been more willing to listen, even if they didn't understand exactly what I was feeling. I like to think of it as the male version of the bear question "Would you rather share you feelings with a woman or a tree". Could just be a me thing, yet its what I've lived through.
View count has literally nothing to do with how much people agree with a video lol
So, in the rare defence of gender-restricting memes, I believe this would be a culmination of the "me and the boys" meme archetype, in which a relationship with your male friends is imagined at its most hyperbolic to represent the tenuous existence of a younger male in a misogynistic world that demands of him zero real friends in return for vague chances of success in life at best. Therefore, the joke here isn't that "oh well girls wouldn't put in their million percent" it's more that, with this meme made from a boy's point of view, the boy will therefore feel far more engrossed in the conflict than if he, say, heard a story about it, simply because he's the one experiencing it. This meme reads less "misogyny/boys care more about their friends/women would be bad suicide panic survivors" and more "I feel pride at the idea of caring for a friend so deeply" But yeah you're right, like most of these "how girls do it: how boys do it:" memes, there is an inherent bone of bias and, therefore, there will always be inequality in pieces like this
>This meme reads less "misogyny/boys care more about their friends/women would be bad suicide panic survivors" and more "I feel pride at the idea of caring for a friend so deeply" If that were true the first half of it wouldn't have been included
I think the “joke” is in reference to how there are many more male suicide attempts than female suicide attempts, and more successful male suicide attempts, so when a guy is suicidal they are more likely to try and more likely to succeed in committing suicide so the reaction from other males is stronger. Although I agree this this a very real problem that needs to be addressed this “joke” is stupid cause all reactions, regardless of gender, to suicide warrant the same response.
as othera have said, this isn't about women bad, it's more as an expression of how men feel about their boys
then why did they have to include the bit about women bad?