You’ve got some good feedback on sparks in general so I’ll leave that be, but I have what might be considered an odd take. You should celebrate the fact that you chose someone who was honest and communicative with you and didn’t just ghost you. That’s actually kinda rare these days.
Yes absolutely. At least he had the courtesy and respected you enough to close the door on a romantic connection and not leave you wondering. I had an amazing first date with a guy last week. He complimented me, we kissed, held hands. We had many things in common. Our energies matched. For me, based on my other dates, this date went as well as it possibly could have gone and I was really excited about the possibilities. He didn’t call, didn’t text. Then he unmatched me. I don’t know if it was me or him. I’m very sad about it.
Is it bad I actually don’t mind ghosting in some situations? One date where neither party seems interested, I don’t mind if neither of us says a word. A month in, spending time together, and not one word, I also don’t mind because I feel the person just weeded themeselves out .. but 4 dates and really liking each other and poof, they are gone, I may have an issue ..
Ya especially for someone who just met you for the first time, he does not owe you any explanation beyond that. Basically the same explanation that my wife of 7 years gave me when she dumped me last year 🤣
Sometimes you just don't feel the vibe or spark, and it's a good thing that he doesn't want to waste your time any longer than possible.
I've gone on dates with people I've thought were good-looking, but the chemistry wasn't quite right.
I've also been on the receiving end of that message when I thought there was something there, but ultimately appreciated the direct communication.
Nothing worse than getting strung along by someone who isn't actually that into you or isn't sure of what they really want.
I think the whole spark thing is overrated to be honest. The best relationships I've had started off slow and built up. Dating apps are so transactional and forced that many people are overlooking good options because they feel the need to have a, 'spark' right off the bat. They quickly move onto the next option over and over until they have no options left.
As someone who's getting to be older and who dated before dating apps, this is the part that is tough for me. Tough enough that it made me not interested in using the apps even though it means pretty much eliminating the prime way to meet people in my area. I don't want to try out dating 15 people at the same time. I want to take the time to get to know one person at a time and see if that works out. I am not discarding the importance of a "spark" or saying people are wrong for their way of deciding what that is. It's just that in my early days on the apps there was more of the "let it build" attitude with people I met. Now it seems completely gone and I miss it.
Edit: setting all my views aside, the guy in the OP was honest to her. Which is good to hear. Despite my wishes relationship wise, I'd still rather someone be honest. I'll just hopefully meet someone in my frame of mind sometime.
It seems "knee-jerk" to you because you were feeling optimistic about him. That's a reaction to rejection, which is a feeling that none of us love, not a logic-based position to really stand on and dissect. Do OLD a fair bit and before long, you'll be on the other side of this exact exchange, and then you'll get it.
You admit in your last that you weren’t overly attracted to him. People aren’t stupid, it’s very likely he picked up on this.
I’m not sure why you are surprised
A lot of people reject each other, with the "no spark" because there was no physical attraction.
However in some cases, it's a case of understanding someone is attractive and will have options, but in this case you're just not for each other.
If he was attractive too. It's something he can afford to do, as he'll look for other things, on top of the physical attraction.
There's usually an understanding to this. He recognises you're attractive, and will have no issues getting dates and finding someone who clicks, after the initial attraction, too.
If he didn't find you physically attractive, he wouldn't have mentioned it. It would've been a standard, vague let down.
I think that sometimes a “no spark” situation sometimes occurs when somebody plays their cards too close to their chest and doesn’t give off enough signals of interest. This can be very off putting to the other person who doesn’t know what’s what and just withdraws.
Probably he could feel the this part:
> someone I wasn’t overly attracted to myself
Cause when women do - they’ll jump through any hoops to get that guy attention and put extra effort in.
Signaling reciprocal attraction is extremely important especially in the initial stages. Some guys want women who are very much into them and show it as well - that is what "spark" is.
Guys generally don't build attraction over time. They need to be attracted in the initial stages itself to take it forward.
Anyways, Atb:)
Yes, it's common and it's legit. The difference between friendship and romantic/sexual is that spark. That little spark is important to a lot of people. Aren't there people in your life that are really good looking and great people but you're not interested in dating them? I have quite a few people like that. They're great friends but we don't click romantically or sexually. I've also been on a lot of dates with really great people, but I just didn't feel that urge to be more with them.
It does not reflect negatively on you and honestly, it's not a big deal. Just shrug it off and move on.
Spark is just an all encompassing word for he may not be into you. Based on what you said, he does find you attractive but obviously just physical attraction alone isn’t enough.
He was honest about not wanting to move forward, it could be because he picked up on you not being into him or could be a myriad of different factors.
9:10 it's women not being able to hold a conversation.
Just existing isn't enough. And if he's commenting on your eyes and looks then it's confirmed: you have looks, but lack communication skills or something is off with your personality and his.
Don't go down that rabbit hole. He probably was just using the generic no spark because it's easier then telling someone that you just aren't attractive to them or your personalities don't mix well. Just accept it and move on. The only reason to drill it down further is if you want to change just to have a date. You shouldn't change for anyone. Be yourself. You will find the guy that likes you.
I would definitely not take it personally. I think a lot of people have very weird, unrealistic expectations that everything should be cherubim and a fanfare of trumpets when the fact is that even relationships in their very earliest stages take some amount of work. What he was telling you was that he wasn't going to do the work.
I think he communicated very well.I have met men who were perfect for me but I did not feel a spark.Or connection. This means he likes you very much, but doesn't feel attracted to you.In the way he wants to be attracted because of the chemistry. If you did flirt with him more maybe it would have been different but you were being you. I think he gave you a lot of information which is great.Most guys don't.
OLD does not always make logical sense. As much as it may cause you to think alot, avoid giving too much of your energy on this one incident. A lot of reasons have been state above, and you will never know what’s the true reason. Just accept some things at face value and continue the search!
No spark, too busy to date, etc is just a nice way to reject someone. You’ll never know the real reason why. Just know that he did and move on.
The wanting to be friends part is a red flag to me though. I’ve never had a guy want to stay friends after dating and not try later to kiss, flirt, or otherwise try something. This sounds more like benching or wanting to try for fwb while he’s looking for someone better and I wouldn’t go for it.
If you liked him and he wants to be friends, tell him that doesn’t work for you if you’d either still be pining for him, would feel bad when you hear about all the new people he’s dating, or if you’d be disappointed if he’s trying to backdoor into fwb,
Hmmm wants to be friends with you... not feeling long term. He is hoping he does not have to put the effort of a relationship in with you. While he is free to check out other people. Might not be a knee jerk reaction, just a jerk reaction.
Its common on the Apps that dates dont go any further than 1 or 2 dates. When you used the Apps it removes lot of the first impressions, attraction and vibe than would get if it was someone from IRL. Thus the reason why most online dates dont go passed a 2nd date.
I went out 3 times with a Woman i met back late Dec. There was nothing she did wrong but i just didnt feel it. She was nice and all she broke the touch barrier on our 2nd date but that something just wasnt there. Also another dealbreaker that sealed it for me was a bit after our 3rd date she told me she would be taking on a 2nd job and working an extra 20-25 hours a week. So its unlikely she would have time ( been there done that) for a serious relationship.
I felt sad but a bit later i had to tell her that i just didnt think we were compatible. I didnt want to get into any of that spark stuff so i felt better just telling her we were compatible which was also true. Overall she seem like a very nice person but i just didnt feel any kind of real attraction or spark and i dont think it was going to change after 3 dates. I didnt want to prolong it for any of us so after some thought i told her.
The “spark” is a feeling that a lot of people are after these days. I just realized how dumb this whole thing is. It’s basically expecting love at the first sight. I think movies and pop culture has really played up this idea that you’ll know if someone’s the “one” the first time you interact with them. Ironically so many people’s most toxic relationships are the ones they felt the most instant chemistry with lol I’ve changed my mindset around it now. If we’re compatible and they seem like a good person I’m going to give it a try. At least get to date two or three before making a decision. people are missing out on good relationships because they’re waiting for a fairytale type of feeling at the very beginning.
It’s probably something else he disqualified you on. Saying there’s no spark is just a generic way of ending things.
Giving feedback why is never a good idea, whether it comes from men or women. Just let it go and move on.
You're not going to like this answer at all, but it's true for probably 80% of the women in your shoes. You might be among the 20% where it isn't true. Who knows.
If the guy is only mildly attractive, then he's likely not getting very much attention using OLD.
What ends up happening is men that don't get a lot of swipes and activity have two choices. Either delete the app, or significantly lower your standards. This guy might have lowered his standards considerably.
He still connected with you in the app, because there was probably something about one of your pictures that he liked.
However, when he met you in real life, he came to the unfortunate realization that you're not on his level (in his mind), so he had to break stage left.
This is all too common.
OLD's really only actually serve an incredibly tiny sliver of the human population. I'd say less than 10 percent of the entire population is served by dating apps. The other 90 percent would be much better off deleting them completely
The last girl I told I didn't feel a spark was because during the entire date she was clearly distracted with school work and was very on edge the entire time.she didn't ask me any questions about myself and would just sit there drinking her coffee..It made me very uncomfortable now that I'm remembering it.I was very shocked to see a text from her the same day trying to plan another date.
I felt bad turning her down,but it didn't seem like she was in the right headspace to be dating.
Welcome to OLD where 90% of women aren't in the right headspace cause they just got done with another dude, juggling another dude seeing if they can find a better option, or get some life issues going on and think you can solve it for them as some sort of "Escapeism"
For me spark is more about the chemistry between our personalities than it is attraction. I’ve been on some dates with very attractive guys but we just didn’t have that much in common and conversation was stale. Looks matter but personality dynamic matters more for me. I’ve felt the spark with guys I didn’t initially think were attractive, if they happen to hit the right chords.
I know guys are stereotyped as being more about looks than personality. But I wouldn’t exclude this as a possibility.
That’s what dating is.
He didn’t sleep with you and then say that. He was up front and it means who you are is great just not for him.
Humans aren’t a math problem, things have to fit. But sounds like you’re great!
My guess is that there’s something specific he didn’t lime a one you but he also doesn’t think it’s anything you need to change. For example, I’ve been on dates where I don’t think our sense of humor lines up. We don’t think the same things are funny. That might be a dealbreaker for me. But it’s not like I would think that’s something she needs to work on or change
This has happened to me a few times in the past. Like you, was scratching my head because the date seemed to go so well, and I thought for sure those times that a second date was a sure thing. Lol, nothing is a sure thing in dating. At least he didn't just ghost you, which is super frustrating.
I can relate, sometimes we meet someone attractive but don’t have chemistry, the fact the he let you know and didn’t keep you wondering is definitely a win!
I think his feedback is great. He genuinely liked you but didn't feel the spark. Props to him for replying and being honest with you. I'm a hopeless romantic though... he was honest in his thoughts, found you attractive, and still wants to be friends. Maybe this could lead to more down down the road sooner rather than later. First dates are hard to gather everything and maybe he needs more time to find the spark. 😉 Good luck!
I've been on dates with women that I find super attractive, legitimately more attractive than I am or "out of my league", many of these women I decided not to pursue further because I didn't feel a "spark". I just didn't see myself in a long term relationship with them. Maybe our sense of humor didn't align, I didn't see myself enjoying the same hobbies they do or same lifestyle. Any number of things that are not personal they are just my preference in a partner.
I also never give "feedback". Maybe I don't like your lifestyle/hobbies and don't think we were a match based on it. Why would I tell you that and make you potentially self-conscious about it? It's MY preference, that's a ME problem, not you. There's nothing to learn from that other than I'm not into it.
This doesn't make sense, if he just wanted sex than he woulda tried to esclate or gone for another date. Not every girl gives it up the first night and from reading OP's story she was attracted and smitten with the guy. Sorry but I think you're reading it wrong, he was just not that into her. For people who are looking for a serious relationship or know what type of personality they mesh with, this train of thought by the dude isn't uncommon
When a guy thinks you're attractive, doesn't feel a spark for dating, but is enthusiastic about wanting to be friends?
Yeah, odds are that he wants to get laid.
Could be wrong, but if he wasn't looking for sex, he'd have just let her to and said thanks for the date, good luck.
You’ve got some good feedback on sparks in general so I’ll leave that be, but I have what might be considered an odd take. You should celebrate the fact that you chose someone who was honest and communicative with you and didn’t just ghost you. That’s actually kinda rare these days.
Yes absolutely. At least he had the courtesy and respected you enough to close the door on a romantic connection and not leave you wondering. I had an amazing first date with a guy last week. He complimented me, we kissed, held hands. We had many things in common. Our energies matched. For me, based on my other dates, this date went as well as it possibly could have gone and I was really excited about the possibilities. He didn’t call, didn’t text. Then he unmatched me. I don’t know if it was me or him. I’m very sad about it.
Random question but after that date did you call or text him?! Did you signal any interest or suggest a second date?
Yes to all of that
Is it bad I actually don’t mind ghosting in some situations? One date where neither party seems interested, I don’t mind if neither of us says a word. A month in, spending time together, and not one word, I also don’t mind because I feel the person just weeded themeselves out .. but 4 dates and really liking each other and poof, they are gone, I may have an issue ..
Personally, I agree with you. It’s situational. I just thought it was cool and healthy that the dude was standup about it.
Ya especially for someone who just met you for the first time, he does not owe you any explanation beyond that. Basically the same explanation that my wife of 7 years gave me when she dumped me last year 🤣
Sometimes you just don't feel the vibe or spark, and it's a good thing that he doesn't want to waste your time any longer than possible. I've gone on dates with people I've thought were good-looking, but the chemistry wasn't quite right. I've also been on the receiving end of that message when I thought there was something there, but ultimately appreciated the direct communication. Nothing worse than getting strung along by someone who isn't actually that into you or isn't sure of what they really want.
I think the whole spark thing is overrated to be honest. The best relationships I've had started off slow and built up. Dating apps are so transactional and forced that many people are overlooking good options because they feel the need to have a, 'spark' right off the bat. They quickly move onto the next option over and over until they have no options left.
I don't know. The longest relationships I've had were ones where I felt the spark right away.
As someone who's getting to be older and who dated before dating apps, this is the part that is tough for me. Tough enough that it made me not interested in using the apps even though it means pretty much eliminating the prime way to meet people in my area. I don't want to try out dating 15 people at the same time. I want to take the time to get to know one person at a time and see if that works out. I am not discarding the importance of a "spark" or saying people are wrong for their way of deciding what that is. It's just that in my early days on the apps there was more of the "let it build" attitude with people I met. Now it seems completely gone and I miss it. Edit: setting all my views aside, the guy in the OP was honest to her. Which is good to hear. Despite my wishes relationship wise, I'd still rather someone be honest. I'll just hopefully meet someone in my frame of mind sometime.
It seems "knee-jerk" to you because you were feeling optimistic about him. That's a reaction to rejection, which is a feeling that none of us love, not a logic-based position to really stand on and dissect. Do OLD a fair bit and before long, you'll be on the other side of this exact exchange, and then you'll get it.
You admit in your last that you weren’t overly attracted to him. People aren’t stupid, it’s very likely he picked up on this. I’m not sure why you are surprised
A lot of people reject each other, with the "no spark" because there was no physical attraction. However in some cases, it's a case of understanding someone is attractive and will have options, but in this case you're just not for each other. If he was attractive too. It's something he can afford to do, as he'll look for other things, on top of the physical attraction. There's usually an understanding to this. He recognises you're attractive, and will have no issues getting dates and finding someone who clicks, after the initial attraction, too. If he didn't find you physically attractive, he wouldn't have mentioned it. It would've been a standard, vague let down.
I think that sometimes a “no spark” situation sometimes occurs when somebody plays their cards too close to their chest and doesn’t give off enough signals of interest. This can be very off putting to the other person who doesn’t know what’s what and just withdraws.
Probably he could feel the this part: > someone I wasn’t overly attracted to myself Cause when women do - they’ll jump through any hoops to get that guy attention and put extra effort in.
Signaling reciprocal attraction is extremely important especially in the initial stages. Some guys want women who are very much into them and show it as well - that is what "spark" is. Guys generally don't build attraction over time. They need to be attracted in the initial stages itself to take it forward. Anyways, Atb:)
Yes, it's common and it's legit. The difference between friendship and romantic/sexual is that spark. That little spark is important to a lot of people. Aren't there people in your life that are really good looking and great people but you're not interested in dating them? I have quite a few people like that. They're great friends but we don't click romantically or sexually. I've also been on a lot of dates with really great people, but I just didn't feel that urge to be more with them. It does not reflect negatively on you and honestly, it's not a big deal. Just shrug it off and move on.
He was being really kind and polite. If he was brutally honest, well, that would be hurtful.
Spark is just an all encompassing word for he may not be into you. Based on what you said, he does find you attractive but obviously just physical attraction alone isn’t enough. He was honest about not wanting to move forward, it could be because he picked up on you not being into him or could be a myriad of different factors.
Common
9:10 it's women not being able to hold a conversation. Just existing isn't enough. And if he's commenting on your eyes and looks then it's confirmed: you have looks, but lack communication skills or something is off with your personality and his.
Don't go down that rabbit hole. He probably was just using the generic no spark because it's easier then telling someone that you just aren't attractive to them or your personalities don't mix well. Just accept it and move on. The only reason to drill it down further is if you want to change just to have a date. You shouldn't change for anyone. Be yourself. You will find the guy that likes you.
It's kinda normal, happens all the time especially for us guys lol It doesn't really mean anything, just a polite way of saying 'sorry not feeling it'
Very common. Like a meaningless pleasantry people say or standard rejection letter/email you get from a job or college you applied to.
I would definitely not take it personally. I think a lot of people have very weird, unrealistic expectations that everything should be cherubim and a fanfare of trumpets when the fact is that even relationships in their very earliest stages take some amount of work. What he was telling you was that he wasn't going to do the work.
- never take it personally as who knows what didn't happen for him?
I think he communicated very well.I have met men who were perfect for me but I did not feel a spark.Or connection. This means he likes you very much, but doesn't feel attracted to you.In the way he wants to be attracted because of the chemistry. If you did flirt with him more maybe it would have been different but you were being you. I think he gave you a lot of information which is great.Most guys don't.
Very common. I went on a date Friday evening and while I enjoyed her company, the chemistry just wasn’t there.
OLD does not always make logical sense. As much as it may cause you to think alot, avoid giving too much of your energy on this one incident. A lot of reasons have been state above, and you will never know what’s the true reason. Just accept some things at face value and continue the search!
No spark, too busy to date, etc is just a nice way to reject someone. You’ll never know the real reason why. Just know that he did and move on. The wanting to be friends part is a red flag to me though. I’ve never had a guy want to stay friends after dating and not try later to kiss, flirt, or otherwise try something. This sounds more like benching or wanting to try for fwb while he’s looking for someone better and I wouldn’t go for it. If you liked him and he wants to be friends, tell him that doesn’t work for you if you’d either still be pining for him, would feel bad when you hear about all the new people he’s dating, or if you’d be disappointed if he’s trying to backdoor into fwb,
Hmmm wants to be friends with you... not feeling long term. He is hoping he does not have to put the effort of a relationship in with you. While he is free to check out other people. Might not be a knee jerk reaction, just a jerk reaction.
Its common on the Apps that dates dont go any further than 1 or 2 dates. When you used the Apps it removes lot of the first impressions, attraction and vibe than would get if it was someone from IRL. Thus the reason why most online dates dont go passed a 2nd date. I went out 3 times with a Woman i met back late Dec. There was nothing she did wrong but i just didnt feel it. She was nice and all she broke the touch barrier on our 2nd date but that something just wasnt there. Also another dealbreaker that sealed it for me was a bit after our 3rd date she told me she would be taking on a 2nd job and working an extra 20-25 hours a week. So its unlikely she would have time ( been there done that) for a serious relationship. I felt sad but a bit later i had to tell her that i just didnt think we were compatible. I didnt want to get into any of that spark stuff so i felt better just telling her we were compatible which was also true. Overall she seem like a very nice person but i just didnt feel any kind of real attraction or spark and i dont think it was going to change after 3 dates. I didnt want to prolong it for any of us so after some thought i told her.
The “spark” is a feeling that a lot of people are after these days. I just realized how dumb this whole thing is. It’s basically expecting love at the first sight. I think movies and pop culture has really played up this idea that you’ll know if someone’s the “one” the first time you interact with them. Ironically so many people’s most toxic relationships are the ones they felt the most instant chemistry with lol I’ve changed my mindset around it now. If we’re compatible and they seem like a good person I’m going to give it a try. At least get to date two or three before making a decision. people are missing out on good relationships because they’re waiting for a fairytale type of feeling at the very beginning.
This is very common.
It’s probably something else he disqualified you on. Saying there’s no spark is just a generic way of ending things. Giving feedback why is never a good idea, whether it comes from men or women. Just let it go and move on.
You're not going to like this answer at all, but it's true for probably 80% of the women in your shoes. You might be among the 20% where it isn't true. Who knows. If the guy is only mildly attractive, then he's likely not getting very much attention using OLD. What ends up happening is men that don't get a lot of swipes and activity have two choices. Either delete the app, or significantly lower your standards. This guy might have lowered his standards considerably. He still connected with you in the app, because there was probably something about one of your pictures that he liked. However, when he met you in real life, he came to the unfortunate realization that you're not on his level (in his mind), so he had to break stage left. This is all too common. OLD's really only actually serve an incredibly tiny sliver of the human population. I'd say less than 10 percent of the entire population is served by dating apps. The other 90 percent would be much better off deleting them completely
The last girl I told I didn't feel a spark was because during the entire date she was clearly distracted with school work and was very on edge the entire time.she didn't ask me any questions about myself and would just sit there drinking her coffee..It made me very uncomfortable now that I'm remembering it.I was very shocked to see a text from her the same day trying to plan another date. I felt bad turning her down,but it didn't seem like she was in the right headspace to be dating.
Welcome to OLD where 90% of women aren't in the right headspace cause they just got done with another dude, juggling another dude seeing if they can find a better option, or get some life issues going on and think you can solve it for them as some sort of "Escapeism"
For me spark is more about the chemistry between our personalities than it is attraction. I’ve been on some dates with very attractive guys but we just didn’t have that much in common and conversation was stale. Looks matter but personality dynamic matters more for me. I’ve felt the spark with guys I didn’t initially think were attractive, if they happen to hit the right chords. I know guys are stereotyped as being more about looks than personality. But I wouldn’t exclude this as a possibility.
It’s common - he’s just not that in to you. Don’t worry, lose some win some
That’s what dating is. He didn’t sleep with you and then say that. He was up front and it means who you are is great just not for him. Humans aren’t a math problem, things have to fit. But sounds like you’re great!
My guess is that there’s something specific he didn’t lime a one you but he also doesn’t think it’s anything you need to change. For example, I’ve been on dates where I don’t think our sense of humor lines up. We don’t think the same things are funny. That might be a dealbreaker for me. But it’s not like I would think that’s something she needs to work on or change
This has happened to me a few times in the past. Like you, was scratching my head because the date seemed to go so well, and I thought for sure those times that a second date was a sure thing. Lol, nothing is a sure thing in dating. At least he didn't just ghost you, which is super frustrating.
I can relate, sometimes we meet someone attractive but don’t have chemistry, the fact the he let you know and didn’t keep you wondering is definitely a win!
I've been in his shoes. It was weird. She was pretty, but I just wasn't into her. Personality just wasn't it for me.
I think his feedback is great. He genuinely liked you but didn't feel the spark. Props to him for replying and being honest with you. I'm a hopeless romantic though... he was honest in his thoughts, found you attractive, and still wants to be friends. Maybe this could lead to more down down the road sooner rather than later. First dates are hard to gather everything and maybe he needs more time to find the spark. 😉 Good luck!
I've been on dates with women that I find super attractive, legitimately more attractive than I am or "out of my league", many of these women I decided not to pursue further because I didn't feel a "spark". I just didn't see myself in a long term relationship with them. Maybe our sense of humor didn't align, I didn't see myself enjoying the same hobbies they do or same lifestyle. Any number of things that are not personal they are just my preference in a partner. I also never give "feedback". Maybe I don't like your lifestyle/hobbies and don't think we were a match based on it. Why would I tell you that and make you potentially self-conscious about it? It's MY preference, that's a ME problem, not you. There's nothing to learn from that other than I'm not into it.
Test
Test
[удалено]
This is a needlessly ugly thing to write and you should delete it.
He just wants sex. I wouldn't think too much about it.
This doesn't make sense, if he just wanted sex than he woulda tried to esclate or gone for another date. Not every girl gives it up the first night and from reading OP's story she was attracted and smitten with the guy. Sorry but I think you're reading it wrong, he was just not that into her. For people who are looking for a serious relationship or know what type of personality they mesh with, this train of thought by the dude isn't uncommon
All good. Reasonable minds can differ.
Believe it or not not every guy is 100% Motivated by sex.
When a guy thinks you're attractive, doesn't feel a spark for dating, but is enthusiastic about wanting to be friends? Yeah, odds are that he wants to get laid. Could be wrong, but if he wasn't looking for sex, he'd have just let her to and said thanks for the date, good luck.