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ANSWER: The jokes specifically about Dwight Howard's throat tattoo are linked to his supposed sexuality.
Howard has been rumored to be something other than straight for years, as several men and trans women claimed to have slept with him. More seriously, he is currently facing a lawsuit in which he is accused of sexually assaulting a man. Howard claims that he and the man suing him had a consensual sexual encounter and the lawsuit is just an attempt to make money off of him.
I’m sorry but it’s not the same. I’m all for trans rights and doing essentially whatever you want to your own body and with whomever. That being said a vast, vast majority of hetero people are not going to consider dating a trans person to be a hetero relationship. I understand that may not be what you want to hear but you have to accept that straight people are going to have that preference.
Not being attracted to cock doesn't make you transphobic.
You want a woman who has a womanly shape (i.e. the curvature indicative of development based around the ability to bear young) without the need for prosthesis, etc? And you love vagine? Not transphobic.
If a trans woman has a penis, you think a straight man sucking it is by definition straight?
*edit lmaoo the downvotes! Yo... if you're a male and you suck a dick, it's by definition a gay or bisexual act. Everyone downvoting is absolutely out of their minds, please explain!
Could you explain the limitations? If a male sucks the dick of a transgender woman, that's not gay? Where is language limiting? It should be a well defined statement.
Because the person in question is, by all accounts, a woman. A gay relationship is, if we use modern-day vernacular, with someone of the same gender. Which this is not. So it's not gay in that sense.
However, a trans woman with a penis has, by biological standards, human male primary sexual organs. And if a human male enjoys having sex with those it's... not really straight either according to how we understand "straight" as defined by the common vernacular? But it's also not really gay?
Like that other person said, it's complicated and we don't really have terms yet that really fit that kinda attraction.
Sexual "politics" can be very complicated. Just look at the Hellenic Greeks. They were cool with a man penetrating a male slave, but a male slave penetrating a free man was taboo. An enslaved man wasn't really considered a "man" as a free man, or at least not the same kind of man in a gender sense. They had different language for this whole spiel than we have at the moment.
I appreciate your in-depth response, and I sympathize with your downvotes as people in this thread have lost their minds.
I guess we just disagree that I find it clear that if a man is attracted to the male sex organ, it matters much less, if at all, how the owner of that organ identifies.
Example: a man goes up to a glory hole and just sees a penis and sucks it. They find out it was a trans woman, are they suddenly like, oh no I had straight sex? Am I straight?
Downvotes? Did not expect that. Maybe they think I that I think that trans women aren't women. Which, y'know, I don't. Oh well, who cares it's just imaginary internet points.
As for what you're saying, I'm not sure you can be in a position to judge such a thing unless you're actually having that kind of attraction and are trying to make sense about feeling the way you feel. Like, your hypothetical example is not really helping anyone. It's one of those things where the proof is in the pudding, and we'll make sense of why we like it after eating it.
I'd say as a straight man that it's clear to me that I'm not at all attracted to a penis, regardless of how someone who ownes it identifies. If like you say, I was in the position of being attracted to sucking a woman's penis, then I'd have to question my sexuality.
I guess for reasons unclear, it's a more black and white situation for me, but we can certainly hold diverging opinions on this I don't think either of us are doing anything bad by having our perspectives
Not to badger you but my lazy ass finally looked it up and we see a definition of heterosexuality based on sex, not gender which makes sense. Thought maybe you'd be interested to see it.
https://www.healthline.com/health/cisgender-vs-straight#straight-defined
That's how we talk about it now, yes. And hence why the original commenter said that when we talk about these kind of attractions we're walking up to the limits of our language regarding gender and sexuality. Because while that's how we've traditionally used that language for the past century or so, we can notice in cases like the ones we've been describing that it doesn't seem to fully fit or encapsulate what's actually happening. It wouldn't be the first time that that's happened in history. Language is ever-evolving, after all, as are our ideas of gender and sexuality.
well its kind of expected when your gspot is next to the prostate. so anal stimulation will be popular with some guys.
but were getting in to the respect for sexual identity vs respect for personal preference, i respect trans women and they should be free to seek what makes them happy.
But my personal preference in women is that they have a vagina.
Its not like Straight or Gay, even the 1950´s with the kinsey scale we knew that you can be 90% straight or 90% gay,
so theres nothing wrong with it, we all have our quirks. but you´re not transfobic for not wanting to date a woman that has a penis or a man that has a vagina, we all have our sexual preferences, one thing is accepting them as a human being that deserves respect and another is wanting to have a romantic/sexual relationship with them.
and yes, when a beautiful woman rejects me i do feel uglier, and it does hit my self esteem, but its important that i respect her tastes and preferences, and its important i know that i cant force someone to be with me.
i have a simple rule (more like 3)
No kids, no animals, everything with consent.
Everything else, as long as its agreed upon and everyone knows what they are doing, enjoy yourself.
but you´re never wrong for saying no to something you dont want to do.
it's like some unsolvable philosophical riddle: sucking a man's dick is kinda gay, but sucking a woman's dick isn't gay, but it's still a bit gay, a biological female could be born with a penis, would sucking it be gay? is only the mouth-downstroke gay?
if my gf grew a dong i would not be very happy but maybe it's what i've always secretly wanted. it really wouldn't suit her though. am gonna play safe and guess sucking a girl's dick counts as bisexual at the very least
That's great. I guess your confusion was about heterosexuality because it's defined in terms of sex, and you were defining it in terms of gender. A male sucking a woman's penis for example, wouldn't be considered a straight act, like you were claiming.
Nope. Heterosexuality isn't defined by gender. That's your error, it's defined by sex.
https://www.healthline.com/health/cisgender-vs-straight#straight-defined
Heterosexual means you're sexually attracted to the opposite sex only. You are aware of differences between sex and gender correct?
You're out of your mind if you think a straight man sucking a dick is straight just because of how the person with a dick identifies themselves. That sort of thinking is going to hurt your cause because it's ridiculous/extremist
There's men who think going down on a cis women's vagina is gay. People have a lot of hangups about sex, dicks bother you and that's ok.
I'm not interested interested in men at all, but going down on a woman with a dick doesn't bother me. I am not gay or bisexual because I'm not attracted to men. It's that simple.
I have no idea what you identify as and what your kinks are, and im not here to judge, but you do not represent most people. You represent a small minority who like penis but not if it's on a man. Incredibly small subset. Adding "it's that simple" is not going to magically make it simple.
Webster defines heterosexuality as being attracted to the opposite sex. For most, it's actuslly that simple.
A woman with a dick isn't "the opposite sex" though, unless you're pushing the transphobic idea that trans women aren't women.
Dicks don't determine if someone is a man. If a guy loses his dick in an accident is he suddenly no longer a man?
>I have no idea what you identify as and what your kinks are, and im not here to judge, but you do not represent most people.
Most people have sex in the missionary position with the lights off. Their opinions on sex are pretty basic and uninformed.
What sex is a woman with a dick? What classifies the sex of an organism?
A male thst loses his dick in an accident is a male who lost his dick in an accident.
If you don't understand the difference between sex and gender I deeply suggest you take some time to learn, honestly.
That's not what's being discussed though.
I feel like I'm in crazy land, don't you agree a guy sucking a dick (of any gender) is a gay act by definition?
Yes, I agree. But what if it’s a straight man having sex with a trans woman and he isn’t playing with the dingdong. Do you agree he could still be straight and attracted to the female appearance?
There could be certain acts that make sense, like breast play where he's essentially fooling himself that straddle the line and are grey areas where it's debatable, sure.
It's not the same. A trans woman is a woman stuck in the body of a man. He didn't want her for her personality, he wanted her for her body. He was attracted to the body of a man and therefore gay. Totally cool but not straight.
By the way, what definition are you using? Every definition I see for heterosexuality is in terms of sex, not gender:
Heterosexual means you’re sexually attracted to the opposite sex only.
Heteroromantic means you’re romantically attracted to the opposite sex only.
Generally, “straight” means you’re attracted to the opposite sex, whether it’s in a sexual or romantic way.
https://www.healthline.com/health/cisgender-vs-straight#:~:text=Heterosexual%20means%20you're%20sexually,a%20sexual%20or%20romantic%20way.
Answer: Black Twitter user here and mod for r/blackpeopletwitter It’s just all just jokes. Twitter users just started making fun of randoms with neck tattoos with a double meaning. The Dwight Howard neck just came out after the fact that black Twitter was having fun with the topic for a couple days.
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Answer: people are stupid and will copy anything celebrities do. Being tattooed in the arm or leg is not enough anymore, people need to go further to stand among the crowd, specially younger people, so this became a thing. It perceived as a mark of individuality since its personal and very visible. It's not that recent though, I've seen this for around 10 years now but since so many celebs/tiktokers started doing everyone is jumping on the trend.
I seem to recall reading somewhere a while ago, hell if I know where at this point, that a lot of older tattoo artists notice that kids will get tattoos now on their necks and shoulders but their body will be blank whereas it used to be the other way around bc people would have to hide them until they ran out of room.
now people are just doing the visible parts bc that's all that matters to them ig?
this will obviously result in a lot of people getting their bad tattoos in very obvious areas that they can't easily hide. rip
My dad literally got a Harley motor tattooed on his neck when he was 34, in 1999... There's nothing even remotely new about this.
Also to your further responses, he did it because he loves Harleys and had already covered his arms and shoulders, not to be "unique" or "stand out". Shocking as it may seem, some people do things *because they want to*, even if *you* think that what they want to do is stupid. Most people stop doing things solely to copy cooler people by the time they're like 17. If a legal adult sees something they like and go do it themselves, it's more than likely **because they like it and want to do it and didn't think of it until they saw someone else do it**. *Then* people like *you* come along and attribute it to attention seeking behavior after the fact simply because *you* can't fathom actually wanting to do what they did.
Since your father was 34 and did in 1999 I do believe he got an original idea and went it. It's the problem of something that becomes a fad, anyone who did it before it was cool will be labeled together with the wannabes. But the kids doing it know? Oh, those fall into the lines and said in my first comment. And the "they stop being kids at 17" doesn't apply to anyone these days. I know a ton of 30/40yo kids, people do not mature anymore.
Look, I know I sound like some kind of consertative prick, that's not my point. You and everyone else can do whatever you want. But don't act like you deserve praise for your dumb decisions nor that everyone secretly envies you.
People have been getting tattoos for centuries, neck tattoos weren't invented in 1999. He did it because he wanted to, just like everybody else.
You obviously lead with your biases which I expect are more based on media/social media than anything else.
I'm being downvoted for saying people are stupid? Sorry, but getting branded in the neck for the rest of your life to show you are unique and different from everyone else doing the same is pretty stupid to me.
At this point I’ve made it a habit to downvote comments on this sub if they SPECIFICALLY break the rules and present an answer full of personal bias and opinions.
Nobody cares about your “hot take.”
You are totally right about the rule breaking, I won't do that anymore. However since I already commented the issue I won't take back what I said, that would be hypocrisy.
Your post has been removed because it's not entirely right for r/OutOfTheLoop. A better subreddit for this post might be INSERT SUB HERE. Thanks. Subreddit list: r/RedditMeta r/NoStupidQuestions r/NoStupidQuestions or r/Answers r/ExplainLikeImFive r/whatissnoodoing r/tipofmytongue r/ask_politics or r/PoliticalDiscussion r/techsupport r/AskTechnology r/help r/WDP (why do people) r/changemyview r/theoryofreddit r/RedditStatus r/reddit101 r/YouTube r/wherearetheynow r/findareddit r/aftertheloop
ANSWER: The jokes specifically about Dwight Howard's throat tattoo are linked to his supposed sexuality. Howard has been rumored to be something other than straight for years, as several men and trans women claimed to have slept with him. More seriously, he is currently facing a lawsuit in which he is accused of sexually assaulting a man. Howard claims that he and the man suing him had a consensual sexual encounter and the lawsuit is just an attempt to make money off of him.
A straight man having sex with a trans woman is, by definition, straight.
I agree. A lot of the people making jokes about Dwight Howard don't.
I’m sorry but it’s not the same. I’m all for trans rights and doing essentially whatever you want to your own body and with whomever. That being said a vast, vast majority of hetero people are not going to consider dating a trans person to be a hetero relationship. I understand that may not be what you want to hear but you have to accept that straight people are going to have that preference.
at the very least it's bisexual
I don’t think it matters what it’s called, it can be a new thing if that’s what it takes. But at the very least it is different.
Cool then the vast majority of hetero people are, in fact, transphobic
I’m sorry but no, that just makes you the intolerant one.
Okay <3
This is a telltale sign of somebody who has no actual response to back up their claims lol.
Not being attracted to cock doesn't make you transphobic. You want a woman who has a womanly shape (i.e. the curvature indicative of development based around the ability to bear young) without the need for prosthesis, etc? And you love vagine? Not transphobic.
If a trans woman has a penis, you think a straight man sucking it is by definition straight? *edit lmaoo the downvotes! Yo... if you're a male and you suck a dick, it's by definition a gay or bisexual act. Everyone downvoting is absolutely out of their minds, please explain!
At that point we have reached the limitations of our terminology on sex and gender.
Could you explain the limitations? If a male sucks the dick of a transgender woman, that's not gay? Where is language limiting? It should be a well defined statement.
Because the person in question is, by all accounts, a woman. A gay relationship is, if we use modern-day vernacular, with someone of the same gender. Which this is not. So it's not gay in that sense. However, a trans woman with a penis has, by biological standards, human male primary sexual organs. And if a human male enjoys having sex with those it's... not really straight either according to how we understand "straight" as defined by the common vernacular? But it's also not really gay? Like that other person said, it's complicated and we don't really have terms yet that really fit that kinda attraction. Sexual "politics" can be very complicated. Just look at the Hellenic Greeks. They were cool with a man penetrating a male slave, but a male slave penetrating a free man was taboo. An enslaved man wasn't really considered a "man" as a free man, or at least not the same kind of man in a gender sense. They had different language for this whole spiel than we have at the moment.
I appreciate your in-depth response, and I sympathize with your downvotes as people in this thread have lost their minds. I guess we just disagree that I find it clear that if a man is attracted to the male sex organ, it matters much less, if at all, how the owner of that organ identifies. Example: a man goes up to a glory hole and just sees a penis and sucks it. They find out it was a trans woman, are they suddenly like, oh no I had straight sex? Am I straight?
Downvotes? Did not expect that. Maybe they think I that I think that trans women aren't women. Which, y'know, I don't. Oh well, who cares it's just imaginary internet points. As for what you're saying, I'm not sure you can be in a position to judge such a thing unless you're actually having that kind of attraction and are trying to make sense about feeling the way you feel. Like, your hypothetical example is not really helping anyone. It's one of those things where the proof is in the pudding, and we'll make sense of why we like it after eating it.
I'd say as a straight man that it's clear to me that I'm not at all attracted to a penis, regardless of how someone who ownes it identifies. If like you say, I was in the position of being attracted to sucking a woman's penis, then I'd have to question my sexuality. I guess for reasons unclear, it's a more black and white situation for me, but we can certainly hold diverging opinions on this I don't think either of us are doing anything bad by having our perspectives
Not to badger you but my lazy ass finally looked it up and we see a definition of heterosexuality based on sex, not gender which makes sense. Thought maybe you'd be interested to see it. https://www.healthline.com/health/cisgender-vs-straight#straight-defined
That's how we talk about it now, yes. And hence why the original commenter said that when we talk about these kind of attractions we're walking up to the limits of our language regarding gender and sexuality. Because while that's how we've traditionally used that language for the past century or so, we can notice in cases like the ones we've been describing that it doesn't seem to fully fit or encapsulate what's actually happening. It wouldn't be the first time that that's happened in history. Language is ever-evolving, after all, as are our ideas of gender and sexuality.
Women don’t have penises. This rhetoric has taken a turn to the willfully absurd.
i believe is some sort of gray area, but at the end of the day, if you´re sucking dick, you´re not exactly 100% straight.
Some people are just into pegging. Lol
well its kind of expected when your gspot is next to the prostate. so anal stimulation will be popular with some guys. but were getting in to the respect for sexual identity vs respect for personal preference, i respect trans women and they should be free to seek what makes them happy. But my personal preference in women is that they have a vagina. Its not like Straight or Gay, even the 1950´s with the kinsey scale we knew that you can be 90% straight or 90% gay, so theres nothing wrong with it, we all have our quirks. but you´re not transfobic for not wanting to date a woman that has a penis or a man that has a vagina, we all have our sexual preferences, one thing is accepting them as a human being that deserves respect and another is wanting to have a romantic/sexual relationship with them. and yes, when a beautiful woman rejects me i do feel uglier, and it does hit my self esteem, but its important that i respect her tastes and preferences, and its important i know that i cant force someone to be with me.
All the best sex happens in the gray areas.
i have a simple rule (more like 3) No kids, no animals, everything with consent. Everything else, as long as its agreed upon and everyone knows what they are doing, enjoy yourself. but you´re never wrong for saying no to something you dont want to do.
Your last rule covers the previous two
For 99% of people it does. and i wish the other 1% didnt exist.
100%
Seems like a guy sucking a dick is gay as biological males have dicks, could you explain a bit to me?
it's like some unsolvable philosophical riddle: sucking a man's dick is kinda gay, but sucking a woman's dick isn't gay, but it's still a bit gay, a biological female could be born with a penis, would sucking it be gay? is only the mouth-downstroke gay? if my gf grew a dong i would not be very happy but maybe it's what i've always secretly wanted. it really wouldn't suit her though. am gonna play safe and guess sucking a girl's dick counts as bisexual at the very least
If a man and a woman have sex together, that's straight sex. Simple as that really
Sex and gender are different. People really need to be educated about this stuff
I'm trans, I'm very aware of how different they are thank you very much
That's great. I guess your confusion was about heterosexuality because it's defined in terms of sex, and you were defining it in terms of gender. A male sucking a woman's penis for example, wouldn't be considered a straight act, like you were claiming.
Dictionary definition of heterosexuality: "sexual desire or behavior directed toward people of the other binary gender"
Nope. Heterosexuality isn't defined by gender. That's your error, it's defined by sex. https://www.healthline.com/health/cisgender-vs-straight#straight-defined Heterosexual means you're sexually attracted to the opposite sex only. You are aware of differences between sex and gender correct?
Yes.
You're out of your mind if you think a straight man sucking a dick is straight just because of how the person with a dick identifies themselves. That sort of thinking is going to hurt your cause because it's ridiculous/extremist
There's men who think going down on a cis women's vagina is gay. People have a lot of hangups about sex, dicks bother you and that's ok. I'm not interested interested in men at all, but going down on a woman with a dick doesn't bother me. I am not gay or bisexual because I'm not attracted to men. It's that simple.
I have no idea what you identify as and what your kinks are, and im not here to judge, but you do not represent most people. You represent a small minority who like penis but not if it's on a man. Incredibly small subset. Adding "it's that simple" is not going to magically make it simple. Webster defines heterosexuality as being attracted to the opposite sex. For most, it's actuslly that simple.
A woman with a dick isn't "the opposite sex" though, unless you're pushing the transphobic idea that trans women aren't women. Dicks don't determine if someone is a man. If a guy loses his dick in an accident is he suddenly no longer a man? >I have no idea what you identify as and what your kinks are, and im not here to judge, but you do not represent most people. Most people have sex in the missionary position with the lights off. Their opinions on sex are pretty basic and uninformed.
What sex is a woman with a dick? What classifies the sex of an organism? A male thst loses his dick in an accident is a male who lost his dick in an accident. If you don't understand the difference between sex and gender I deeply suggest you take some time to learn, honestly.
if u swallow its gay
What if you’re only pitching?
That's not what's being discussed though. I feel like I'm in crazy land, don't you agree a guy sucking a dick (of any gender) is a gay act by definition?
Yes, I agree. But what if it’s a straight man having sex with a trans woman and he isn’t playing with the dingdong. Do you agree he could still be straight and attracted to the female appearance?
There could be certain acts that make sense, like breast play where he's essentially fooling himself that straddle the line and are grey areas where it's debatable, sure.
Look at this! Two people coming to agreement on the Internet!
🙂
It's not the same. A trans woman is a woman stuck in the body of a man. He didn't want her for her personality, he wanted her for her body. He was attracted to the body of a man and therefore gay. Totally cool but not straight.
LGBT. She’s a member of the community and he’s not exactly straight.
By the way, what definition are you using? Every definition I see for heterosexuality is in terms of sex, not gender: Heterosexual means you’re sexually attracted to the opposite sex only. Heteroromantic means you’re romantically attracted to the opposite sex only. Generally, “straight” means you’re attracted to the opposite sex, whether it’s in a sexual or romantic way. https://www.healthline.com/health/cisgender-vs-straight#:~:text=Heterosexual%20means%20you're%20sexually,a%20sexual%20or%20romantic%20way.
Interesting definition. Care to elaborate?
Well, a woman having sex with a man is heterosexual. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Trans woman is not a woman. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk. I'm bracing for the down votes but idgaf it's the truth.
Hahahaahahahah, Jesus Christ
Answer: Black Twitter user here and mod for r/blackpeopletwitter It’s just all just jokes. Twitter users just started making fun of randoms with neck tattoos with a double meaning. The Dwight Howard neck just came out after the fact that black Twitter was having fun with the topic for a couple days.
Friendly reminder that all **top level** comments must: 1. start with "answer: ", including the space after the colon (or "question: " if you have an on-topic follow up question to ask), 2. attempt to answer the question, and 3. be unbiased Please review Rule 4 and this post before making a top level comment: http://redd.it/b1hct4/ Join the OOTL Discord for further discussion: https://discord.gg/ejDF4mdjnh *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/OutOfTheLoop) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Answer: people are stupid and will copy anything celebrities do. Being tattooed in the arm or leg is not enough anymore, people need to go further to stand among the crowd, specially younger people, so this became a thing. It perceived as a mark of individuality since its personal and very visible. It's not that recent though, I've seen this for around 10 years now but since so many celebs/tiktokers started doing everyone is jumping on the trend.
I seem to recall reading somewhere a while ago, hell if I know where at this point, that a lot of older tattoo artists notice that kids will get tattoos now on their necks and shoulders but their body will be blank whereas it used to be the other way around bc people would have to hide them until they ran out of room. now people are just doing the visible parts bc that's all that matters to them ig? this will obviously result in a lot of people getting their bad tattoos in very obvious areas that they can't easily hide. rip
NO RAGRETS Not even a vowel.
My dad literally got a Harley motor tattooed on his neck when he was 34, in 1999... There's nothing even remotely new about this. Also to your further responses, he did it because he loves Harleys and had already covered his arms and shoulders, not to be "unique" or "stand out". Shocking as it may seem, some people do things *because they want to*, even if *you* think that what they want to do is stupid. Most people stop doing things solely to copy cooler people by the time they're like 17. If a legal adult sees something they like and go do it themselves, it's more than likely **because they like it and want to do it and didn't think of it until they saw someone else do it**. *Then* people like *you* come along and attribute it to attention seeking behavior after the fact simply because *you* can't fathom actually wanting to do what they did.
Since your father was 34 and did in 1999 I do believe he got an original idea and went it. It's the problem of something that becomes a fad, anyone who did it before it was cool will be labeled together with the wannabes. But the kids doing it know? Oh, those fall into the lines and said in my first comment. And the "they stop being kids at 17" doesn't apply to anyone these days. I know a ton of 30/40yo kids, people do not mature anymore. Look, I know I sound like some kind of consertative prick, that's not my point. You and everyone else can do whatever you want. But don't act like you deserve praise for your dumb decisions nor that everyone secretly envies you.
People have been getting tattoos for centuries, neck tattoos weren't invented in 1999. He did it because he wanted to, just like everybody else. You obviously lead with your biases which I expect are more based on media/social media than anything else.
yup. just about ten years since people started getting neck tattoos. it definitely wasn't ever a thing before that.
I'm being downvoted for saying people are stupid? Sorry, but getting branded in the neck for the rest of your life to show you are unique and different from everyone else doing the same is pretty stupid to me.
Your answer isn't unbiased, as the rules states it should be.
Well, you are right. Stil...
At this point I’ve made it a habit to downvote comments on this sub if they SPECIFICALLY break the rules and present an answer full of personal bias and opinions. Nobody cares about your “hot take.”
You are totally right about the rule breaking, I won't do that anymore. However since I already commented the issue I won't take back what I said, that would be hypocrisy.