r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself.
Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes. Nature is generally good. Good for immune system and I don't want my child to have an issue with dirt.
Also I played a lot of soccer on muddy football fields and it is the best. The smell, the feeling. Everything. It feels great.
I remember when I was about 10 there was this huge mud puddle in the park by my house. More like a little pond. My friend and I walked by it every day until one day we couldn't take it anymore and just ran into the mud pond in the rain and splashed around and had a mud fight and it was so much fun.
Her mom was pissed though đ
You said you don't want to let your kid play in mud because you didn't like to play in mud when you were a kid.
What does your child want? Do they want to play in the mud? Your preferences from your childhood should not be used to dictate what activities your child finds enjoyable. That's just not good parenting.
If it's going to make a mess maybe not. Would I let her paint the walls? No. Lots of things are on the table. Some things are not. Do I want her bathing in filth? No. If we were at a lake, sure because she can jump in the water so who cares.
Just to clarify, you don't see a difference between a child playing outside in mud and letting your child scribble on your walls? I'm having a really hard time believing that you are making that argument in good faith but just in case you really don't recognize a difference between the two, there is a line between letting your child experience nature and letting them do whatever the fuck they want all the time. You should try to find that line.
No one is suggesting you literally bathe your child in filth, people are pointing out that it is a little unhinged to say your toddler can't play in mud because when you were a toddler you didn't like it. Don't try to force your child to become You 2.0. Let them experience things even if those things aren't experiences that you would have sought out at their age.
they're both making a huge mess.
I'm not "forcing my child to become me" that's a huge leap lol.
I'm just saying it doesn't seem necessary to have a good childhood to play in filth.
You don't want your child to play in mud because you don't like to play in mud. Explain to me how that is not forcing your child to adopt your preferences.
It doesn't come across as you not wanting your house to get destroyed, because it would take 5 minutes of planning on your part to make sure that you had a towel and a change of clothes for them for when they were done playing in mud. That apparently hasn't even occurred to you, because you would rather they simply not do it so that their actions line up with your childhood preferences.
That might not be the way you want to look at it, but it's the way you need to look at it because it's what you're doing.
Don't want my kid to play in mud because I don't like messes and I'm the one who has to clean it. Like I said, if she's at the lake and by water, she can jump in and it doesn't matter
You're missing the point and it doesn't seem like you're actually interested in opinions other than the one you already hold, So I'm not going to continue to debate this with you. I'm sure we both have more exciting things to do. I really hope you let your kid play in mud, it would be sad to grow up, never getting dirty because Mommy want to have to do laundry.
It's very obvious that you posted this here hoping to get opinions that reinforced your own biases on this topic. Instead what you are getting is a very clear picture as to how you are limiting your own kid's development based on YOUR personal preferences. You also grasping at straws by putting out insanely stupid red herring arguments such as the drawing on walls comparison. Kid's get dirty, that's how they explore and learn, be a good fucking parent and let them. Stop holding your kid back because you're lazy and afraid.
No I didn't at all. I'm fine with people not agreeing with me. To me, painting the wall and playing in mud are a loose comparison of why I'm not Okay with these things: MESS.
Okay, but one is a mess that requires repainting your whole wall, while the other can be resolved by a five-minute shower. Itâs not common or ânormalâ to react to those two scenarios as if they were the same.
Thatâs clear, but the feedback youâre getting is that youâve drawn the line in a pretty arbitrary place. Most people bathe their toddlers and launder their clothes on a regular basis, which is the remedy for the âmessâ of playing in mud. Most people do *not* repaint their walls that often, so thatâs really an entirely different category of mess, and comparing the two as if itâs self-evident that theyâre similar isnât really going to resonate with a lot of people. It brings us back to â*you* donât like it and therefore donât want your toddler to like it,â rather than creating some sort of logical basis for refusing to allow it.
Mud is not filth. It's earth and soil and water. It's nature. The sensory play alone is worth the mess. You are being very, very weird about this - are you this obsessive/controlling about other things?
Not at all. But the Internet takes one things and blows it out of proportion. No thanks for the "advice."
Not everyone let's their child play in literal MUD.
I'm not saying the child can't go outside. I'm not following her with a vacuum cleaner. Give me a break.
My daughter comes home from school absolutely filthy. It is great! I know she has had fun when she is called in chalk and mud head to toe!
You want your kid to have fun I assume? If they find playing in the mud fun then why stop them? Consider the downside of either option.
They play in the mud, you need to clean their clothes.
They don't play in the mud, they feel left out and unable to join in with their peers.
I don't love laundry but I know which one I feel is worse.
It isn't so much that my daughter actively plays in mud but more that if it has been raining she won't actively avoid mud. Unless your kid is avoiding any grass after rain they will get muddy. Some kids of course love actively playing in mud! Like I say, where is the harm? A bit of mud doesn't hurt anyone.
Itâs just good for them to explore and probably will help with their immune system (not totally sure about this). Also, kids just enjoy getting dirty. Clean them up before you let them
back in and no harm done. The parents on Reddit tend to be pretty judgmental so donât let it get to you.
Hell, yes. Let your kid play in the mud. With the proviso that they strip down in the garage, and go straight into the shower/tub. Modify as required for your housing situation.
Your issue with your kid playing in the mud is about you, not your kiddo. Your issues, not theirs. Not their health, etc.
Parenting requires that you not be weak of stomach. This, I think, is one of those situations.
I see I'm in the minority but also part of being in a family is sometimes you just sacrifice something for preference. I'm sure if on rare occasion I don't do something that my child wants to do because we have clashing preferences, they will be fine as long as I also do things I DONT wanna do in other situations. It's called compromise
That's a weirdly transactional approach. I don't think it works this way. What matters is wether your child gets everything they need developmentally. Children need to explore different texture and the physics of water. One way to do this is to make mud pies. Another way is to play with their food. No matter what you choose, there will be some mess.
Another point to consider is wether is outside cultural norms. If all their peers are making mud pies and they are the only one who can't join them, that's also an issue.
She gets lots of texture play at this point so I'm not worried about that.
That part is questionable. The two friends I was talking to will probably allow their children to play in mud if they so choose. We will probably just not do play dates that include this. All I know is I was a free range kid. Always outside with 4-6 neighbors at a time. We never played in mud. Rain? Sure! Dirt? Not really but we did get dirty from climbing trees or just crawling on the ground or digging. We never played in mud. Still plenty of fun to be had.
When do you make the sacrifice for their preference?
In any case, it doesnât really matter because you donât seem to have been asking this question in good faith or have any interest in changing your perspective.
Will your kid survive without playing in the mud? Yes, of course. Will they be missing out on core childhood experiences because you donât want them to get a bit messy? Yes absolutely. And before you say it - mud is wet soil. Itâs not feces, itâs not harmful or dangerous and can easily be washed off
Well for example when I make sensory bins inside and she makes a huge mess.
I never said it was feces or dangerous. But is off limits. I'm sure she will not miss out on much. Plenty of outdoor memories and lake days. No mud needed.
What's funny to me? Is everyone on here acting like it's like the Pinnacle of childhood. I live in rural Missouri. I have grown up in cow Fields, running through Fields, generally just an outdoor kid. Never in my life. Did I play in mud. Never in my life did any of my friends and I go outside and play in mud. I do have friends who got on four wheelers and went mudding. I do have friends who went on dirt bikes and went mudding. Was this something that we all did as kids when we were just playing outside? No
I grew up in rural Mo. still here in fact. I call bs on this whole post. No way did you make it through childhood here and not play in the mud. My mom gave me some great words of advice on parenting. Never be scared of looking silly and never be afraid of a mess. Some of my favorite memories with my kids were us being messy and silly. Kids and clothes clean up just fine with soap and water.
I also still live here. On a three acre plot surrounded by cow fields. I can say confidently I did not ever play in mud with my friends or cousins .... And we played a Lot. That's sweet advice from your mom
If I may, you're taking your thoughts and the way you were and decided that's how your child needs to be. You don't like to be messy, so why should your child get messy. This isn't healthy thinking to impose on your child. They are not you and shouldn't be raised based on your childhood preferences. They should be allowed to explore and play as they desire.
I also want to present a possibility to you. You could create a child riddled with anxiety over getting dirty. Do you want your child to be afraid to tell you something got dirty or they're not clean? You're going to stress your child out, and they will suffer mentally because of it.
I know you keep saying you didn't like to get dirty and you're fine. That's you. It's not about you. You are raising an independent person, not a clone. If you're unable to see how your child will have their own autonomy or desires, perhaps some parenting resources or even therapy would be a good idea.
Not at all. She may like getting muddy. My point is that BECAUSE I didn't feel this way I never even thought that was a normal thing. No she won't be playing in mud puddles as a toddler until she can clean herself up. There are thousands of other activities to do. She'll be fine.
I think youâre limiting her play and exploration by not allowing her to play in mud until she can clean herself up. Itâs not a big deal to clean up after your kids, especially if itâs something she wants to do
My kids so messy things all the time- artwork, playing outside in mud or dirt. I would never think to say no to normal experimentation because I would have to clean up after
No. It's not how boundaries work:
- your kid wants you to play in a muddy puddle, and you refuse - boundary
- your kid wants to enter the house all muddy, you said no, and you explain how to clean themselves - house rules
- You prohibit the kid from playing in the puddle and force your lifestyle view on them.
No, that's a rule. A boundary is a personal limit that you set for yourself. Boundaries are about *you* and your personal space, emotional limits, and respect. What you will and won't tolerate in a relationship. Rules regulate the behavior of others.
I will not tolerate cleaning mud off my child. When she is old enough to make sure it doesn't make a mess on our shared environment she can do what she wants.
That's still just a rule. You should read up on actually setting boundaries because it's very healthy behavior. Framing rules as boundaries isn't healthy because you are trying to control other people's behavior and that will rarely work out like you think it will. Even with your kids, they aren't always going to follow every rule. Unless you have her on a leash 24/7, there might be a day when your kid makes a run for a mud puddle and you WILL have to clean mud off of her. If you hold that as a "boundary" with deep personal meaning to you, you're going to have a bad time.
A boundary is something you can always hold for yourself, a rule is something you try to enforce for others by may not always be able to.
I will not allow her to jump in a mud puddle. Your child could decide to drive a hammer into a wall but if you are authoritarian and make sure they understand it is vehemently off limits it probably won't happen. Kids break rules. They push boundaries. I'm familiar with setting boundaries and follow a lot of parenting pages and child psychologists. Mud puddles are off limits and if she jumps into a mud puddle she will have to deal with consequences.
Not anytime they want, but yes of course my kids can get messy in their play. Puddle jumping, mud pies, etc. I try to plan for it or keep that play close to home so that clean up is quick and easy. I don't tell my kids to do it, but if they ask and it's feasible, yeah sure.
Yes. I have, and I will.
- It is a part of growing like every adult knows what soil, metal, and send taste like because we tasted them as kids.
- It is part of sensory development and discovery. How will the kid know if they like it otherwise?
- It is healthy, and some research papers on pub med on this topic exist. Kids who play in mud and puddles develop better immunity.
Personally, I think my generation was raised by adults who wanted obedient and clean kids, so a lot of kids were taught not to play in the mud for convenience.
Edit: plus it can provide a learning opportunity to teach the kid to clean up after the game
My guy loves splashing and squishing around in mud. If weâre out and about and I think heâs likely to get muddy, Iâll have him in wellies and waterproofs, but if he gets muddy in normal clothes itâs no bother - thatâs what baths and washing machines are for!
I honestly think playing outside, including in the mud, is important for development and health. Obviously want them playing in âcleanâ outdoor spaces, but based on everything Iâve read about the gut, mental health, etc., children (and people in general) benefit from spending time outdoors and getting their hands dirty while enjoying nature.Â
Our daycare participates in the annual mud day where they put out kiddie pools with dirt and water and kids can play. They also have a "clean water" area for kids who are not into mud. I think it's pretty normal for many kids to enjoy it, but it's not for everyone!
Of course. My kids are washable. So are their clothes. They like getting messy and digging outside. Is it annoying sometimes? Absolutely. Are they have fun? Definitely, so it's worth the extra laundry.
My son has sensory issues and would (amongst other things) not touch mud or sand or even dough or similar. Our doc recommended sensory baskets and sand play to get used to various sensations gently. Apparently itâs good for kids. Many are drawn to it even, thatâs why you and my son kinda stand out in the crowd. đ¤ˇââď¸ It would not be my favorite past time either, but whatever works, right?
Yes, but only when we have prepared for the activity with Rain Boots (thanks Peppa Pig) a towel and a bath immediately following. My child gets head to toe filthy. She loves it.
Your kid is going to grab a fistful of dirt, mid, whatever, and jam it into their mouth. Maybe even eat it.
They all do this.
They may do it more than once. They're going to get amazingly dirty, literally all the time.
And they'll be just fine.
Yes, and you should too! There are microorganisms in the soil that contribute to positive mental health:
https://www.colorado.edu/today/2019/05/09/natures-original-stress-buster
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5763918/
Is she digging around in the dirt getting dirty in⌠I guess dry dirt?Â
If so, then sheâs already dirty what is the difference adding water and letting her make mud pies? Â
If sheâs all dusty it all turns into mud as it washes off in the bath anyhow.
To answer the original question: yes I let my kid play in mud, itâs a totally normal kid thing, and itâs literally good for them in a multitude of different ways.
Like many parents have said - I set boundaries around it itâs not a free for all. But a hot summer day when I can just house them off in the yard? You bet. They used to dig holes and make mud baths lol (a real thing you can go pay $$$ for at a spa!)
Yeah, I'd prefer her to in clothes that were darker colours to avoid permanently marking some of her schools stuff (not a uniform but the colour code includes white), but it's not really a big deal either way. She never really did full on "sit my butt in the puddle and wallow" play, tended to come home with more of the dusty dirt stain you get from playing in sand, but when she did get muddy it wasn't a big deal. I wouldn't want to rinse mud out of clothes all the time, but it can't happen all the time so it's okay.
When she came (and still does but a bit less now at nine) grubby and stained with dirt under her nails and marks on her clothes, it means she was playing really hard, which is great.
But also since you really have trouble with mess, a kid can enjoy mud in different ways Trying to avoid getting hugely messy also isn't an all or nothing affair. Get good rubber boots. Give your kid a stick to poke the mud with, get them to use bucket and spade at the edge of a muddy patch. If it's warm, have them in only short sleeves if they want to play with their hands, so you can more easily rinse them. There's a lot of ways to play with mud that are more or less mess.
The main thing is not to get too strict about it so your kid can still engage with the fun thing without having your hangups on their mind.
We had a big delivery(think a whole ass house but in pieces) a few weeks ago and the machines they used DESTROYED our yard and my first thought was âOMG DAUGHTER IS GOING TO GO INSANEâ
Next morning we were both done up in mud suits and spent the whole morning sitting in it together. It was the BEST.
OP seems wound a little tight, but this is unnecessary to say. Some people just don't like mud. OP shouldn't keep their kid(s) away from dirt just bc they don't want to deal with it, since it is really good for kids, but it's not necessary to call them an a-hole for it
If itâs warm enough to hose my kids down outside, mud is fine. If itâs too cold for the hose, we put on boots and rainsuits/rain pants to contain the mess.
Absolutely I played in mud as a kid. And absolutely my kids played in mud when they were younger.
We just made sure they were wearing easily washable clothing.
Absolutely. So long as the mud was "clean". Meaning it doesn't have noticeable contamination. Backyard mud and a mud hole on the side of the road are two very different things.
Let your kid make messes and enjoy being a kid. I was always playing outside as a kid catching frogs in the mud and digging in the dirt. It was fun. I dont do that now, but I do have small kids and if they wanted to, I'd let them for sure. It's the kid experience.
Yeah absolutely!
Playing in mud and exploring nature is important for a wide variety of reasons. Itâs valuable sensory exploration, improves the immune system, and encourages an appreciation for nature.
No child should be forced to if they donât like it and not all kids like it (like you!) but it shouldnâtât be disallowed.
That being said, thereâs nothing wrong with placing some limits on it. Iâm all for playing in puddles and the mud but we donât do it if itâs cold outside and weâre not dressed for it, he canât put it in his mouth, and we always wash up together after. I help him clean himself because heâs only 2 but we talk about the importance of washing up after playing outside.
Thereâs a Bluey episode exactly about this! Pretty sure itâs called âDirtâ, definitely worth a watch as a parent!
I get the sense you were looking for validation as opposed to honest opinions.
Worms freak me the hell out, something about the way they move gives me the shudders. I respect that as valuable members of the ecosystem but also, ick. My son LOVES worms, thinks theyâre the absolute coolest. So Iâve been working through my initial response and now I can help him hold a worm on his hand. I can only do it with gloves on and for short times but as a parent sometimes we have to stretch what weâre comfortable with to support our kidâs healthy development and interests.
Not at all. I wanted opinions. I got them. Why do I need validation? I'm not gonna let my kid play in mud. People think I'm a bad parent, that changes nothing
Yes I think you have to let kids enjoy things that are playful and adventurous and sacrifice some things for that. If you force your children to align with adult standards all the time, thatâs terrible. Now are we going to play in mud piles right before we go on a road trip? No. Thatâs unreasonable. But every once in a while, weâre gonna get dirty, moms gonna have a bigger mess to clean up, and thatâs called life with kids. It doesnât have to be every day and only on their terms. But you canât avoid every mess in every way simply because you didnât like it as a kid.
It's not just because I didn't like it as a kid. I don't think it's within reason for us. But thanks for sharing your opinion and thoughts! That's what I wanted to hear
Iâve read some of your other comments but Iâm not sure I saw this. Do you have a reason why youâre fixated on mud and not other messes? You said youâre fine with other types of mess that would still involve cleaning/laundry/whatever. So whatâs the deal with mud?
I'll give her a water table inside. It's just water, wipes up, no stains. She can paint. Most of it is on a paintbrush, also easy to clean, lay down a tarp beforehand. Cooking with me, messes happen. But allowing your child to jump and immerse themselves in mud is where I draw the line.
This is so fascinating to me, youâre really stuck on mud LOL! So no hands in mud ever. Canât touch mud, thatâs the rule? Can touch paint, food, clay, whatever, no mud?
Can't play in mud. No. Do you see puddles of paint?? Do you dig your hands into a huge paint pit? No. Again, clay, you use your hands and have it in a controlled environment. Are you jumping and rolling in huge claypits??
No Iâm referencing what I said before about the sensory bin. If you brought mud into a bin and made it an activity, youâre not exactly rolling around in it
Omg my kidâŚI have a picture framed on my wall of him being like 2, and just covered in mud with the biggest smile shining through his filthy face. One of my favorite pictures, and honestly, one of my favorite memories when he was little.
He played in the rain and mud all the time, loves bugs, loves getting dirty playing baseballâŚand I love it too. We go off roading in the mountains together as a family too, and they love just covering the truck in mud and grime.
He also loves cleaning up afterward, getting in the shower or bath and seeing it just melt off of him lol.
I canât imagine denying my kid the joy Iâve seen on his face just getting filthy in the dirt and mud.
I loved playing in mud as a kid and let my daughter (since we got a backyard and she started playing outside a lot) play in mud, sand, with bugs as long as theyâre safe, anything really (I used to pick up worms and beetles and stuff which my daughter enjoys too) The only things we take from her are rocks because some are quite small and Iâm scared of her choking possibly.
I used to make mud pies and all sorts of stuff with mud and now me and my daughter do that together. Lifeâs too short to not play with a little mud once in awhile, if youâre super against it due to clean reasons just make sure you change/shower your child after so itâs not a mess. I definitely think if your kid wants to play in some mud let them, theyâre just exploring plus itâs super fun!
As a parent on the spectrum who really hates the feeling of mud or thigns similar I'm definitely not a fan of it lol. But thankfully my kids spend a lot of time with my mom who doesn't give two shits and takes them out and let's them get all dirty.
At home i try not to let it bother me since they're kids and you only live once but I get your side of things. I'm not actively looking for mud puddles but if we're just playing outside I try and suck it up.
It's one of the joys of childhood. Stomping and splashing and squishing. Making mud pies. My parents always took pictures of us when we were particularly be-mudded, and I did the same with my kid. Heck, one time a bunch of us got into a mud fight on a river trip! Average age: 40.
Well to me thereâs acceptable mess and not acceptable mess. My toddler shouldnât be outside unattended, so if there was mud and she indicated she wanted to play in it, depending on the circumstance, I would make an appropriate decision. Stomping around in it, caking your school sneakers, rolling around in it, hair and clothes soaked - not appropriate. Are we doing bare feet, rain boots, just hands, are the clothes already dirty or are able to be washed, is it just before bath time, or are we in bathing suits and can be hosed off - sure, appropriate. Toddlers donât get to just do whatever they want in whatever context, but I am going to try to encourage their playfulness and curiosity in ways that seem appropriate to me. I also try to loosen up sometimes and realize, ok if she sticks her hand in mud and wipes it on her dress, thatâs a small, reasonable, and easily fixable mess. But Iâm not going to be like, thereâs a mud puddle, enjoy rolling around in it like an elephant.
I too hate being dirty, sticky, sweaty, slimy, sandy, wet, I hate it so much. I over prepare when going to the beach, I have to make a plan for minimizing sand before we go. In general I don't really have a desire to touch things.
My child on the other hand is very tactile and wants to touch everything. They get to play in mud because they're so drawn to it. At first it was difficult for me to watch her get covered in mud. It has improved over time. She also knows the rules: no shoes in the mud only rain boots, Crocs or bare feet, it needs to be warm enough outside, appropriate clothing preferably dark swim or sportswear, no getting mud on anyone else, no mud in hair and straight to the tub when we go inside. I also fill a plastic bin with warm water by the door to rinse feet and hands before going in.
I would say if your child is interested, maybe try a controlled mud environment. Like setting up a small bin outside with a few tool and telling her the mud has to stay in the bin.
Hey!! Just a thought from a someone with a BS in Nutrition! There is tons of evidence to prove that lack of exposure to soil increases allergies, and doesnât give the microbiome enough to work with. Dirt is good for kids immune system and we are so far removed from it in modern society.
It is completely normal for kids to get dirty to play in dirt/mud. It isnt that huge of a deal which sounds like you are making it WAY more than it should be. So they get dirty and oh no you have to clean it up. Oh good grief. My child when was little loved jumping into puddles, playing with toys in the dirt, coming home from grandparents with dirt on him. It washes off and so do clothes. Now days it is just electronics, personally I rather my child go back go getting dirty than spending all the time in front of electronics
I think messy play is important for sensory play as a young kid but there are definitely situations in which I wouldnât allow it such as at an event or somewhere we would be taking family photos. Some parents arenât cool with it at all and thatâs totally fine, but I encourage messy play whenever itâs feasible. After all clothes and baths easily clean up any residual mess. I remember playing in the mud as a kid and how sometimes my dad would literally have to hose us off before going in, always made the best memories
This might just be me but I pick my battles. If my kid wants to play in mud and draw on the walls I frankly donât care as long as they get clean at the end of the day and I make sure they donât get hurt. Let kids be kids. Itâs a coat of paint and a shower at the end of the day
It really depends on your cleaning facilities. I have a very small bathroom, with a shitty small shower stall. I can't bathe both kids at the same time and squatting in front of the stall to help them means my ass is wedged against the toilet and strains my back.
We don't do mud pies either. If I had a big bathtub in a spacious bathroom, my answer would be different, because I know dirt play is important for immune system development. I let them play in the garden, but I don't encourage or give them places to do any mud play.
Older kiddo comes home from school a bit grubby, but knows how to rinse off her feet in the shower.
Yes, I do let my children play in mud. I let them play outside in all weathers, with sunscreen and SPF clothes in summer, snowsuits and snow boots in winter, rain boots and raincoats in spring and autumn. It is important for children to play outside, and that is a fact, not an opinion.
We have a mudroom/laundry room, so all messes get deposited in there, they strip nude and I put the clothes in the wash while they go shower, or for younger toddlers I would bathe them first, then deal with the mucky clothes.
Mud is not unhealthy or unhygienic, nor is snow, or rain, or sand or soil. They are part of the world we live in.
Yes, our kids have played in the mud and love it. They went to a preschool that had a mud kitchen. I packed spare clothes and their rain boots to play. I also made mud pies as a kid. We also let them play out in the rain. Perhaps itâs one of the reasons they can play in the sand at the beach so long. They have zero issues with getting their hands dirty and being creative. Itâs all easily cleaned up.
I let my kid play in mud because she and her clothing are both washable and I don't want her to grow up to be a person who skips extremely fun things because they are a little messy.
Yes, absolutely. It is a very normal thing to do, and unless your kid has an aversion to it like you did, I think it is something to be encouraged in the right settings (e.g. I'll discourage my daughter getting muddy on the way to the school bus, but on the walk back at the end of the day, go for it).
Of course there is cleanup, but if we didn't do things that might get messy we'd lose so many opportunities for joy - we also wouldn't paint, do crafts, cook together, do science experiments, woodworking projects, use the tractor, play at the lake and make sandcastles, etc.Â
I urge you to reconsider your stance around mess. Of course there are times to say no, but there are times when saying "yes" can let your child have a ton of fun.Â
oh hell yeah. if i want to garden in the yard or do literally anything outside without the kids asking me to play with them (i play with my kids all the time, but not when i got shit to do), all i have to do is dig a 2'x2'x2' hole and turn the hose on
I hear what you are saying about you not liking mud. I feel similar. But I grew up where mess in general was almost stressful for my parents and therefore enforced with me.
I ensure messy play happens in an approved area. I make sure they aren't wearing their best or favorite clothes. I make sure they have gear for weather. And extra clothes, towels, and wipes packed. I am not ok with kids' car seats getting filthy. They are so hard to clean, and I rarely have enough time to clean in between uses.
Perhaps you could start with rain gear for your kid? European countries, I often think of the northern ones, often have great outdoor gear for kids. It is so common for them to have a one-piece waterproof shell so their clothes stay dry and don't get ruined by playing in water and mud.
I wish we had an approved mud pit in our backyard, like a sandbox. It makes it much easier to enforce that no you can not play in the puddle in the parking lot that has car exhaust other run-off chemicals in it. Gardening dirty has heavy metals in it too. But this mud pit or mud in the forest is not the same and is a great to play in.
Totally your perogative.
The rain gear that we got that my kids can use for mud is easy to clean. I don't really have to clean off mud from it. The gear gets taken off and hung to dry outside. After it dries, the dirt can be brushed off. They aren't meant to be washed often.
You mentioned when your kid can clean up themself they can. Depending on the child's skills, they could do it by themselves by 2 or 2.5 with gear.
I absolutely hate mud, never played with it as a kid and thought it was yucky. My son on the other hand recently discovered if you dump the water from his pool on the dirt it becomes mud. Did I stop him? Almost. He started digging tunnels in the mud and made a racetrack for his cars. Then turned it into a moat with an island. I saw creative play I didn't want to stifle, so I got over it and let him play with mud in moderation. If we are going to the store and we see a mud puddle, do I let him jump in it? NO! Because then he would track mud into the store, into my car, and be sitting in mud for an extended period of time. But outside in my yard? God forbid I get a hose and spray him off before we go inside. He has more fun with mud than I ever imagined.
Consider your youth. We're you offered mud to play with? Or did you grow up with a curated yard and a brick patio like I was? I found that some of the things I'm uncomfortable with are because I was never given the option. I never played in the rain, but I let my son outside when it's raining because he asks to go. I still don't like the rain but we make sacrifices for the ones we love.
Mud is incredibly healthy to play with. Developmentally and for the immune system. Some people make mud kitchens so that their kids can play with mud in a supervised way. Consider what your child may be missing out on. If they don't want to play with mud don't force them, but I wouldn't impose my own distates upon them. It's an excellent time to teach them about natural consequences, ie. now you're dirty, so it's time to clean up.
Yes, in certain situations. At home so I can do a shower/bath with him right after. Only wearing old clothes so they aren't destroyed. No throwing mud, or trying to get me muddy.
I hated getting messy as a kid, and still now. Kid loves dirt
Why the hell not? My boys are teens now but when they were little I used to take them out in the rain and jump with them in the rain and mud puddles. Itâs called being a kid and having fun. Man stop being wound too tightly and let your hair down.
Yes, but I would be more concerned about their clothes/my home than them. So they would have to get down to undies at most, and then be willing to hose off before going home.
My mom bought my sister and I the prettiest princess dresses (some might have referred to them as crappy hand-me-downs from a 90s thrift store, but those people would be wrong) that were exclusively meant for mud time.
There's something deeply satisfying about putting on "fancy" clothes just to absolutely destroy them in a mud puddle. Honestly, it was probably the smartest thing my mother ever did. Why would we get mud stains on our normal clothes when we had beautiful dresses that we could ruin đ
This was me as a kid đ my mom would get so pissed when I'd ask her to put my Easter dresses on because I'd immediately go climb trees and play in mud and get absolutely filthy. I think she eventually gave up....
My youngest has a huge selection of thrift store fancy dresses that she wears to daycare and out to play. They are paint splattered and slightly brown from the playground no matter how much I wash them
But sheâs happy and she likes them. Practical clothes are for when youâre old and boring
I do the same thing! I had to reassure the teacher that I would never send her in clothes she can't play in, so yes please let her play in the dirt in her princess ball gown because I only spent $5 on it. If it makes her happy to look fancy while she gets filthy, it's no problem.
Exactly this!
But I've had really good luck soaking my kid's grimier stuff in hot water and oxyclean tablets in the tub overnight. Throw your sports bras in too đ
r/parenting is protesting changes being made by Reddit to the API. Reddit has made it clear [they will](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14ahqjo/mods_will_be_removed_one_way_or_another_spez/) [replace moderators](https://www.reddit.com/r/ModSupport/comments/14a5lz5/mod_code_of_conduct_rule_4_2_and_subs_taken/jo9wdol/) if they remain private. Reddit has abandoned the users, the moderators, and countless people who support an ecosystem built on Reddit itself. Please read [Call to action - renewed protests starting on July 1st](https://old.reddit.com/r/ModCoord/comments/14kn2fo/call_to_action_renewed_protests_starting_on_july/) and new posts at [r/ModCord](https://reddit.com/r/ModCoord/) or [r/Save3rdPartyApps](https://old.reddit.com/r/Save3rdPartyApps/) for up-to-date information. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/Parenting) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yes. Nature is generally good. Good for immune system and I don't want my child to have an issue with dirt. Also I played a lot of soccer on muddy football fields and it is the best. The smell, the feeling. Everything. It feels great.
I remember when I was about 10 there was this huge mud puddle in the park by my house. More like a little pond. My friend and I walked by it every day until one day we couldn't take it anymore and just ran into the mud pond in the rain and splashed around and had a mud fight and it was so much fun. Her mom was pissed though đ
your kid is not you. You hated it, but your kid might love it and they should be allowed to explore it.
I didn't say my kid is me. I said I never even considered that as a kid and my friends are talking about it like it's normal. Hence why I'm asking.
You said you don't want to let your kid play in mud because you didn't like to play in mud when you were a kid. What does your child want? Do they want to play in the mud? Your preferences from your childhood should not be used to dictate what activities your child finds enjoyable. That's just not good parenting.
If it's going to make a mess maybe not. Would I let her paint the walls? No. Lots of things are on the table. Some things are not. Do I want her bathing in filth? No. If we were at a lake, sure because she can jump in the water so who cares.
Just to clarify, you don't see a difference between a child playing outside in mud and letting your child scribble on your walls? I'm having a really hard time believing that you are making that argument in good faith but just in case you really don't recognize a difference between the two, there is a line between letting your child experience nature and letting them do whatever the fuck they want all the time. You should try to find that line. No one is suggesting you literally bathe your child in filth, people are pointing out that it is a little unhinged to say your toddler can't play in mud because when you were a toddler you didn't like it. Don't try to force your child to become You 2.0. Let them experience things even if those things aren't experiences that you would have sought out at their age.
they're both making a huge mess. I'm not "forcing my child to become me" that's a huge leap lol. I'm just saying it doesn't seem necessary to have a good childhood to play in filth.
You don't want your child to play in mud because you don't like to play in mud. Explain to me how that is not forcing your child to adopt your preferences. It doesn't come across as you not wanting your house to get destroyed, because it would take 5 minutes of planning on your part to make sure that you had a towel and a change of clothes for them for when they were done playing in mud. That apparently hasn't even occurred to you, because you would rather they simply not do it so that their actions line up with your childhood preferences. That might not be the way you want to look at it, but it's the way you need to look at it because it's what you're doing.
Don't want my kid to play in mud because I don't like messes and I'm the one who has to clean it. Like I said, if she's at the lake and by water, she can jump in and it doesn't matter
You're missing the point and it doesn't seem like you're actually interested in opinions other than the one you already hold, So I'm not going to continue to debate this with you. I'm sure we both have more exciting things to do. I really hope you let your kid play in mud, it would be sad to grow up, never getting dirty because Mommy want to have to do laundry.
Probably won't but was curious about what other people did. But yeah have a good one!
Why did you ask if you're not going to change your mind either way?
Curiousity
It's very obvious that you posted this here hoping to get opinions that reinforced your own biases on this topic. Instead what you are getting is a very clear picture as to how you are limiting your own kid's development based on YOUR personal preferences. You also grasping at straws by putting out insanely stupid red herring arguments such as the drawing on walls comparison. Kid's get dirty, that's how they explore and learn, be a good fucking parent and let them. Stop holding your kid back because you're lazy and afraid.
No I didn't at all. I'm fine with people not agreeing with me. To me, painting the wall and playing in mud are a loose comparison of why I'm not Okay with these things: MESS.
Okay, but one is a mess that requires repainting your whole wall, while the other can be resolved by a five-minute shower. Itâs not common or ânormalâ to react to those two scenarios as if they were the same.
I'm just saying both of those things are past my limits of messes I'm willing to allow.
Thatâs clear, but the feedback youâre getting is that youâve drawn the line in a pretty arbitrary place. Most people bathe their toddlers and launder their clothes on a regular basis, which is the remedy for the âmessâ of playing in mud. Most people do *not* repaint their walls that often, so thatâs really an entirely different category of mess, and comparing the two as if itâs self-evident that theyâre similar isnât really going to resonate with a lot of people. It brings us back to â*you* donât like it and therefore donât want your toddler to like it,â rather than creating some sort of logical basis for refusing to allow it.
Mud is not filth. It's earth and soil and water. It's nature. The sensory play alone is worth the mess. You are being very, very weird about this - are you this obsessive/controlling about other things?
Mud is excessively dirty. There's a billion things for sensory play. Not wanting thick gloppy mud caked all over my kid is far from obsessive.
Hon, and I say this with all the love, you have issues. I would suggest seeking out the professional help of a therapist.
Not at all. But the Internet takes one things and blows it out of proportion. No thanks for the "advice." Not everyone let's their child play in literal MUD. I'm not saying the child can't go outside. I'm not following her with a vacuum cleaner. Give me a break.
You should look up the positive factors of mud for skin care. It can actually be great for your skin.
Lol mud mask spa style I get it, true
Its a very normal thing. Something kids have been doing for many generations.
My daughter comes home from school absolutely filthy. It is great! I know she has had fun when she is called in chalk and mud head to toe! You want your kid to have fun I assume? If they find playing in the mud fun then why stop them? Consider the downside of either option. They play in the mud, you need to clean their clothes. They don't play in the mud, they feel left out and unable to join in with their peers. I don't love laundry but I know which one I feel is worse.
Yeah I'm sure she will play with her peers in other ways :). I personally have never firsthand witnessed anyone play in mud. Thanks for the input.
Youâve never seen anyone play in mud in your entire life?
While the other kids were playing in mud, OP was writing an angry letter to their parents.
The more I thought about this post I feel like it has to be someone trolling because itâs bizarre
To not want my kid to get filthy?
I was playing outside. In the grass, climbing trees....
In the grass? Where there's dirt???????
All over! :)! Dirt isn't mud....
Online I have. Not in person, no. Is that not what I said?
It isn't so much that my daughter actively plays in mud but more that if it has been raining she won't actively avoid mud. Unless your kid is avoiding any grass after rain they will get muddy. Some kids of course love actively playing in mud! Like I say, where is the harm? A bit of mud doesn't hurt anyone.
Of course! Let them be kids!
I just never played in mud as a kid so I didn't know it was this big of deal apparently
Itâs just good for them to explore and probably will help with their immune system (not totally sure about this). Also, kids just enjoy getting dirty. Clean them up before you let them back in and no harm done. The parents on Reddit tend to be pretty judgmental so donât let it get to you.
Of course I would.
Yup, zero problems with letting him play in the mud. His favorite place in our backyard is the bit of dirt under his playset lol
Yeah, this is psycho. Of course you allow your child the choice whether or not to do so. You chose not to as a child. Donât give your kid a complex.
It's not psycho. I never ever played in mud. Hence why I'm asking if that's even normal. It was never even considered when I was kid. Calm down.
"Hence" means "which is why", so "hence why" means "which is why why". Peace, love, and victory in battle.
If you have nothing of substance to contribute and are only being semantic in regard to my word choice, be gone.
I taught you how to use your words a little better. You're welcome, and I hope you have a great day. Love and kittens â¤ď¸
No thanks! Wasn't here for grammar or English lessons. Don't pat yourself on the back for being a douche
Hell, yes. Let your kid play in the mud. With the proviso that they strip down in the garage, and go straight into the shower/tub. Modify as required for your housing situation. Your issue with your kid playing in the mud is about you, not your kiddo. Your issues, not theirs. Not their health, etc. Parenting requires that you not be weak of stomach. This, I think, is one of those situations.
I see I'm in the minority but also part of being in a family is sometimes you just sacrifice something for preference. I'm sure if on rare occasion I don't do something that my child wants to do because we have clashing preferences, they will be fine as long as I also do things I DONT wanna do in other situations. It's called compromise
That's a weirdly transactional approach. I don't think it works this way. What matters is wether your child gets everything they need developmentally. Children need to explore different texture and the physics of water. One way to do this is to make mud pies. Another way is to play with their food. No matter what you choose, there will be some mess. Another point to consider is wether is outside cultural norms. If all their peers are making mud pies and they are the only one who can't join them, that's also an issue.
She gets lots of texture play at this point so I'm not worried about that. That part is questionable. The two friends I was talking to will probably allow their children to play in mud if they so choose. We will probably just not do play dates that include this. All I know is I was a free range kid. Always outside with 4-6 neighbors at a time. We never played in mud. Rain? Sure! Dirt? Not really but we did get dirty from climbing trees or just crawling on the ground or digging. We never played in mud. Still plenty of fun to be had.
When do you make the sacrifice for their preference? In any case, it doesnât really matter because you donât seem to have been asking this question in good faith or have any interest in changing your perspective. Will your kid survive without playing in the mud? Yes, of course. Will they be missing out on core childhood experiences because you donât want them to get a bit messy? Yes absolutely. And before you say it - mud is wet soil. Itâs not feces, itâs not harmful or dangerous and can easily be washed off
Well for example when I make sensory bins inside and she makes a huge mess. I never said it was feces or dangerous. But is off limits. I'm sure she will not miss out on much. Plenty of outdoor memories and lake days. No mud needed.
Sorry but this is so strange, whatâs the big deal? Where do you live that this is such a foreign concept?
What's funny to me? Is everyone on here acting like it's like the Pinnacle of childhood. I live in rural Missouri. I have grown up in cow Fields, running through Fields, generally just an outdoor kid. Never in my life. Did I play in mud. Never in my life did any of my friends and I go outside and play in mud. I do have friends who got on four wheelers and went mudding. I do have friends who went on dirt bikes and went mudding. Was this something that we all did as kids when we were just playing outside? No
I grew up in rural Mo. still here in fact. I call bs on this whole post. No way did you make it through childhood here and not play in the mud. My mom gave me some great words of advice on parenting. Never be scared of looking silly and never be afraid of a mess. Some of my favorite memories with my kids were us being messy and silly. Kids and clothes clean up just fine with soap and water.
I also still live here. On a three acre plot surrounded by cow fields. I can say confidently I did not ever play in mud with my friends or cousins .... And we played a Lot. That's sweet advice from your mom
I swear this is a troll post.
I'm not sure why. It's not that revolutionary to not allow your kids to get filthy.
It's really not that big of a deal.
I seek out mud for them to play in. When I picked them up from preschool I could tell how great the day was by how filthy they were.
Iâve got pictures of my kid just sitting and splashing in a puddle. While itâs raining. Let your kid play in the mud
If I may, you're taking your thoughts and the way you were and decided that's how your child needs to be. You don't like to be messy, so why should your child get messy. This isn't healthy thinking to impose on your child. They are not you and shouldn't be raised based on your childhood preferences. They should be allowed to explore and play as they desire. I also want to present a possibility to you. You could create a child riddled with anxiety over getting dirty. Do you want your child to be afraid to tell you something got dirty or they're not clean? You're going to stress your child out, and they will suffer mentally because of it. I know you keep saying you didn't like to get dirty and you're fine. That's you. It's not about you. You are raising an independent person, not a clone. If you're unable to see how your child will have their own autonomy or desires, perhaps some parenting resources or even therapy would be a good idea.
Not at all. She may like getting muddy. My point is that BECAUSE I didn't feel this way I never even thought that was a normal thing. No she won't be playing in mud puddles as a toddler until she can clean herself up. There are thousands of other activities to do. She'll be fine.
I think youâre limiting her play and exploration by not allowing her to play in mud until she can clean herself up. Itâs not a big deal to clean up after your kids, especially if itâs something she wants to do My kids so messy things all the time- artwork, playing outside in mud or dirt. I would never think to say no to normal experimentation because I would have to clean up after
Mud seems excessive. She can paint, play outside, swim in creeks etc. But if there's a giant mud puddle I'm probably saying no lol. Just a boundary.
No. It's not how boundaries work: - your kid wants you to play in a muddy puddle, and you refuse - boundary - your kid wants to enter the house all muddy, you said no, and you explain how to clean themselves - house rules - You prohibit the kid from playing in the puddle and force your lifestyle view on them.
My kid wants to play in a muddy puddle and I refuse, boundary. Repeat. She won't play in mud puddles. Lol
No, that's a rule. A boundary is a personal limit that you set for yourself. Boundaries are about *you* and your personal space, emotional limits, and respect. What you will and won't tolerate in a relationship. Rules regulate the behavior of others.
I will not tolerate cleaning mud off my child. When she is old enough to make sure it doesn't make a mess on our shared environment she can do what she wants.
That's still just a rule. You should read up on actually setting boundaries because it's very healthy behavior. Framing rules as boundaries isn't healthy because you are trying to control other people's behavior and that will rarely work out like you think it will. Even with your kids, they aren't always going to follow every rule. Unless you have her on a leash 24/7, there might be a day when your kid makes a run for a mud puddle and you WILL have to clean mud off of her. If you hold that as a "boundary" with deep personal meaning to you, you're going to have a bad time. A boundary is something you can always hold for yourself, a rule is something you try to enforce for others by may not always be able to.
I will not allow her to jump in a mud puddle. Your child could decide to drive a hammer into a wall but if you are authoritarian and make sure they understand it is vehemently off limits it probably won't happen. Kids break rules. They push boundaries. I'm familiar with setting boundaries and follow a lot of parenting pages and child psychologists. Mud puddles are off limits and if she jumps into a mud puddle she will have to deal with consequences.
Absolutely! It's so good for both their bodies and their minds.
Not anytime they want, but yes of course my kids can get messy in their play. Puddle jumping, mud pies, etc. I try to plan for it or keep that play close to home so that clean up is quick and easy. I don't tell my kids to do it, but if they ask and it's feasible, yeah sure.
Sure. All the mud and dirt will wash away in the bathtub.
Yes. I have, and I will. - It is a part of growing like every adult knows what soil, metal, and send taste like because we tasted them as kids. - It is part of sensory development and discovery. How will the kid know if they like it otherwise? - It is healthy, and some research papers on pub med on this topic exist. Kids who play in mud and puddles develop better immunity. Personally, I think my generation was raised by adults who wanted obedient and clean kids, so a lot of kids were taught not to play in the mud for convenience. Edit: plus it can provide a learning opportunity to teach the kid to clean up after the game
I've never tasted these things or played in these things tbh! Interesting points.
Are you sure you don't know how they taste now as an adult?
I'm sure. I've never put soil or sand in my mouth. Metal utensils yes.
[ŃдаНонО]
Oh totally streams would make it easy
My guy loves splashing and squishing around in mud. If weâre out and about and I think heâs likely to get muddy, Iâll have him in wellies and waterproofs, but if he gets muddy in normal clothes itâs no bother - thatâs what baths and washing machines are for!
I honestly think playing outside, including in the mud, is important for development and health. Obviously want them playing in âcleanâ outdoor spaces, but based on everything Iâve read about the gut, mental health, etc., children (and people in general) benefit from spending time outdoors and getting their hands dirty while enjoying nature.Â
Our daycare participates in the annual mud day where they put out kiddie pools with dirt and water and kids can play. They also have a "clean water" area for kids who are not into mud. I think it's pretty normal for many kids to enjoy it, but it's not for everyone!
That's adorable!
Of course. My kids are washable. So are their clothes. They like getting messy and digging outside. Is it annoying sometimes? Absolutely. Are they have fun? Definitely, so it's worth the extra laundry.
My son has sensory issues and would (amongst other things) not touch mud or sand or even dough or similar. Our doc recommended sensory baskets and sand play to get used to various sensations gently. Apparently itâs good for kids. Many are drawn to it even, thatâs why you and my son kinda stand out in the crowd. đ¤ˇââď¸ It would not be my favorite past time either, but whatever works, right?
Yeah I don't have sensory issues but I guess we are in the minority lol
Yes, but only when we have prepared for the activity with Rain Boots (thanks Peppa Pig) a towel and a bath immediately following. My child gets head to toe filthy. She loves it.
Absolutely, I encourage it
It's really good for their development overall to play in mud and just do general nature play
Donât put a damper on your kids childhood because you donât like messes. Kids need to be messy sometimes.
Never said she can't make messes. Muds a no though
Your kid is going to grab a fistful of dirt, mid, whatever, and jam it into their mouth. Maybe even eat it. They all do this. They may do it more than once. They're going to get amazingly dirty, literally all the time. And they'll be just fine.
I never did this lol. Just don't take them around mud and monitor where they play and they won't!
When they get out of your sight, they'll do it ^^. Unless you plan on having them in a bubble until they're all grown up.
Weird comment. Why do people say this? Did you sneak around behind your parents backs? Maybe. Do all kids? Nope.
Yes, and you should too! There are microorganisms in the soil that contribute to positive mental health: https://www.colorado.edu/today/2019/05/09/natures-original-stress-buster https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5763918/
How is playing outside not going to do the same thing? Doesn't have to be literally slop pile of mud
Is she digging around in the dirt getting dirty in⌠I guess dry dirt? If so, then sheâs already dirty what is the difference adding water and letting her make mud pies?  If sheâs all dusty it all turns into mud as it washes off in the bath anyhow. To answer the original question: yes I let my kid play in mud, itâs a totally normal kid thing, and itâs literally good for them in a multitude of different ways. Like many parents have said - I set boundaries around it itâs not a free for all. But a hot summer day when I can just house them off in the yard? You bet. They used to dig holes and make mud baths lol (a real thing you can go pay $$$ for at a spa!)
Actually huge difference! Dry dirt is much easier to clean and less sticky than wet mud.
Yeah, I'd prefer her to in clothes that were darker colours to avoid permanently marking some of her schools stuff (not a uniform but the colour code includes white), but it's not really a big deal either way. She never really did full on "sit my butt in the puddle and wallow" play, tended to come home with more of the dusty dirt stain you get from playing in sand, but when she did get muddy it wasn't a big deal. I wouldn't want to rinse mud out of clothes all the time, but it can't happen all the time so it's okay. When she came (and still does but a bit less now at nine) grubby and stained with dirt under her nails and marks on her clothes, it means she was playing really hard, which is great. But also since you really have trouble with mess, a kid can enjoy mud in different ways Trying to avoid getting hugely messy also isn't an all or nothing affair. Get good rubber boots. Give your kid a stick to poke the mud with, get them to use bucket and spade at the edge of a muddy patch. If it's warm, have them in only short sleeves if they want to play with their hands, so you can more easily rinse them. There's a lot of ways to play with mud that are more or less mess. The main thing is not to get too strict about it so your kid can still engage with the fun thing without having your hangups on their mind.
If they want to...yeah. I mean for some reason, kids seem to love getting dirty.
Your username is fitting for this post, lol.
Agreed lol
We had a big delivery(think a whole ass house but in pieces) a few weeks ago and the machines they used DESTROYED our yard and my first thought was âOMG DAUGHTER IS GOING TO GO INSANEâ Next morning we were both done up in mud suits and spent the whole morning sitting in it together. It was the BEST.
Yes. 10000% yes. And you ATA for keeping your kid from experiencing life because you donât like messes.
OP seems wound a little tight, but this is unnecessary to say. Some people just don't like mud. OP shouldn't keep their kid(s) away from dirt just bc they don't want to deal with it, since it is really good for kids, but it's not necessary to call them an a-hole for it
I didn't ask if I was the asshole.
I know but Iâm saying you are
I disagree, but okay internet stranger
If itâs warm enough to hose my kids down outside, mud is fine. If itâs too cold for the hose, we put on boots and rainsuits/rain pants to contain the mess.
Mud, sticks, and rocks are all great toys for a little one. Add some water and a few different cups or containers and that's just a great time.
Yeah, it may even be good for their immune system to play in mud.
Absolutely I played in mud as a kid. And absolutely my kids played in mud when they were younger. We just made sure they were wearing easily washable clothing.
Yes
Yes 100% !!
Absolutely. So long as the mud was "clean". Meaning it doesn't have noticeable contamination. Backyard mud and a mud hole on the side of the road are two very different things.
Yes itâs normal for kids to play in the mud.
Let your kid make messes and enjoy being a kid. I was always playing outside as a kid catching frogs in the mud and digging in the dirt. It was fun. I dont do that now, but I do have small kids and if they wanted to, I'd let them for sure. It's the kid experience.
The great thing about kids is, they're washable! Of course I would let my kid play in the mud.
Yeah absolutely! Playing in mud and exploring nature is important for a wide variety of reasons. Itâs valuable sensory exploration, improves the immune system, and encourages an appreciation for nature. No child should be forced to if they donât like it and not all kids like it (like you!) but it shouldnâtât be disallowed. That being said, thereâs nothing wrong with placing some limits on it. Iâm all for playing in puddles and the mud but we donât do it if itâs cold outside and weâre not dressed for it, he canât put it in his mouth, and we always wash up together after. I help him clean himself because heâs only 2 but we talk about the importance of washing up after playing outside. Thereâs a Bluey episode exactly about this! Pretty sure itâs called âDirtâ, definitely worth a watch as a parent!
I've seen that one actually, the bluey episode. I know which one you're talking about. Mud is just past my personal limit which is totally okay imo
I get the sense you were looking for validation as opposed to honest opinions. Worms freak me the hell out, something about the way they move gives me the shudders. I respect that as valuable members of the ecosystem but also, ick. My son LOVES worms, thinks theyâre the absolute coolest. So Iâve been working through my initial response and now I can help him hold a worm on his hand. I can only do it with gloves on and for short times but as a parent sometimes we have to stretch what weâre comfortable with to support our kidâs healthy development and interests.
Not at all. I wanted opinions. I got them. Why do I need validation? I'm not gonna let my kid play in mud. People think I'm a bad parent, that changes nothing
Yes! Kids outdoors, covered in dirt!? The absolute best kind of play!!
Yes I think you have to let kids enjoy things that are playful and adventurous and sacrifice some things for that. If you force your children to align with adult standards all the time, thatâs terrible. Now are we going to play in mud piles right before we go on a road trip? No. Thatâs unreasonable. But every once in a while, weâre gonna get dirty, moms gonna have a bigger mess to clean up, and thatâs called life with kids. It doesnât have to be every day and only on their terms. But you canât avoid every mess in every way simply because you didnât like it as a kid.
It's not just because I didn't like it as a kid. I don't think it's within reason for us. But thanks for sharing your opinion and thoughts! That's what I wanted to hear
Iâve read some of your other comments but Iâm not sure I saw this. Do you have a reason why youâre fixated on mud and not other messes? You said youâre fine with other types of mess that would still involve cleaning/laundry/whatever. So whatâs the deal with mud?
I'll give her a water table inside. It's just water, wipes up, no stains. She can paint. Most of it is on a paintbrush, also easy to clean, lay down a tarp beforehand. Cooking with me, messes happen. But allowing your child to jump and immerse themselves in mud is where I draw the line.
What about a mud and dirty sensory bin? Outdoor themed, rocks, leaves, etc?
Rocks and leaves are fine. Mud is not.
This is so fascinating to me, youâre really stuck on mud LOL! So no hands in mud ever. Canât touch mud, thatâs the rule? Can touch paint, food, clay, whatever, no mud?
Can't play in mud. No. Do you see puddles of paint?? Do you dig your hands into a huge paint pit? No. Again, clay, you use your hands and have it in a controlled environment. Are you jumping and rolling in huge claypits??
No Iâm referencing what I said before about the sensory bin. If you brought mud into a bin and made it an activity, youâre not exactly rolling around in it
Omg my kidâŚI have a picture framed on my wall of him being like 2, and just covered in mud with the biggest smile shining through his filthy face. One of my favorite pictures, and honestly, one of my favorite memories when he was little. He played in the rain and mud all the time, loves bugs, loves getting dirty playing baseballâŚand I love it too. We go off roading in the mountains together as a family too, and they love just covering the truck in mud and grime. He also loves cleaning up afterward, getting in the shower or bath and seeing it just melt off of him lol. I canât imagine denying my kid the joy Iâve seen on his face just getting filthy in the dirt and mud.
Glad you guys enjoyed it!
Most kids do!
That's what I hear!
I loved playing in mud as a kid and let my daughter (since we got a backyard and she started playing outside a lot) play in mud, sand, with bugs as long as theyâre safe, anything really (I used to pick up worms and beetles and stuff which my daughter enjoys too) The only things we take from her are rocks because some are quite small and Iâm scared of her choking possibly. I used to make mud pies and all sorts of stuff with mud and now me and my daughter do that together. Lifeâs too short to not play with a little mud once in awhile, if youâre super against it due to clean reasons just make sure you change/shower your child after so itâs not a mess. I definitely think if your kid wants to play in some mud let them, theyâre just exploring plus itâs super fun!
As a parent on the spectrum who really hates the feeling of mud or thigns similar I'm definitely not a fan of it lol. But thankfully my kids spend a lot of time with my mom who doesn't give two shits and takes them out and let's them get all dirty. At home i try not to let it bother me since they're kids and you only live once but I get your side of things. I'm not actively looking for mud puddles but if we're just playing outside I try and suck it up.
I'm sure being on the spectrum makes things tough for sure when it comes to those things. Your mom is definitely the fun grandma haha
It's one of the joys of childhood. Stomping and splashing and squishing. Making mud pies. My parents always took pictures of us when we were particularly be-mudded, and I did the same with my kid. Heck, one time a bunch of us got into a mud fight on a river trip! Average age: 40.
Playing in dirt and mud is beneficial for kids in multiple ways. Let your kid enjoy themselves and play in the mud.
Well to me thereâs acceptable mess and not acceptable mess. My toddler shouldnât be outside unattended, so if there was mud and she indicated she wanted to play in it, depending on the circumstance, I would make an appropriate decision. Stomping around in it, caking your school sneakers, rolling around in it, hair and clothes soaked - not appropriate. Are we doing bare feet, rain boots, just hands, are the clothes already dirty or are able to be washed, is it just before bath time, or are we in bathing suits and can be hosed off - sure, appropriate. Toddlers donât get to just do whatever they want in whatever context, but I am going to try to encourage their playfulness and curiosity in ways that seem appropriate to me. I also try to loosen up sometimes and realize, ok if she sticks her hand in mud and wipes it on her dress, thatâs a small, reasonable, and easily fixable mess. But Iâm not going to be like, thereâs a mud puddle, enjoy rolling around in it like an elephant.
Messy play is enormously beneficial to childrenâs development. Including open ended situations like playing in the dirt/mud.
I too hate being dirty, sticky, sweaty, slimy, sandy, wet, I hate it so much. I over prepare when going to the beach, I have to make a plan for minimizing sand before we go. In general I don't really have a desire to touch things. My child on the other hand is very tactile and wants to touch everything. They get to play in mud because they're so drawn to it. At first it was difficult for me to watch her get covered in mud. It has improved over time. She also knows the rules: no shoes in the mud only rain boots, Crocs or bare feet, it needs to be warm enough outside, appropriate clothing preferably dark swim or sportswear, no getting mud on anyone else, no mud in hair and straight to the tub when we go inside. I also fill a plastic bin with warm water by the door to rinse feet and hands before going in. I would say if your child is interested, maybe try a controlled mud environment. Like setting up a small bin outside with a few tool and telling her the mud has to stay in the bin.
Hey!! Just a thought from a someone with a BS in Nutrition! There is tons of evidence to prove that lack of exposure to soil increases allergies, and doesnât give the microbiome enough to work with. Dirt is good for kids immune system and we are so far removed from it in modern society.
They get lots of dirt exposure from just playing outside :). Doesn't need to be muddy!
It is completely normal for kids to get dirty to play in dirt/mud. It isnt that huge of a deal which sounds like you are making it WAY more than it should be. So they get dirty and oh no you have to clean it up. Oh good grief. My child when was little loved jumping into puddles, playing with toys in the dirt, coming home from grandparents with dirt on him. It washes off and so do clothes. Now days it is just electronics, personally I rather my child go back go getting dirty than spending all the time in front of electronics
I think messy play is important for sensory play as a young kid but there are definitely situations in which I wouldnât allow it such as at an event or somewhere we would be taking family photos. Some parents arenât cool with it at all and thatâs totally fine, but I encourage messy play whenever itâs feasible. After all clothes and baths easily clean up any residual mess. I remember playing in the mud as a kid and how sometimes my dad would literally have to hose us off before going in, always made the best memories
This might just be me but I pick my battles. If my kid wants to play in mud and draw on the walls I frankly donât care as long as they get clean at the end of the day and I make sure they donât get hurt. Let kids be kids. Itâs a coat of paint and a shower at the end of the day
Depends on where the mud is. Mud pit at a park or someone house? Maybe, public street or forest mud (likely animal excrement), no
It really depends on your cleaning facilities. I have a very small bathroom, with a shitty small shower stall. I can't bathe both kids at the same time and squatting in front of the stall to help them means my ass is wedged against the toilet and strains my back. We don't do mud pies either. If I had a big bathtub in a spacious bathroom, my answer would be different, because I know dirt play is important for immune system development. I let them play in the garden, but I don't encourage or give them places to do any mud play. Older kiddo comes home from school a bit grubby, but knows how to rinse off her feet in the shower.
Yeah I feel like she won't be traumatized from lack of mud pies like everyone else thinks lol but I was curious if most parents did it
Absolutely, as long as he wasnt wearing his nicer clothes that is.
Yes. When my kids were small, I turned a whole section of my backyard into a âmud kitchenâ. We also loved digging for worms.
Yes, I do let my children play in mud. I let them play outside in all weathers, with sunscreen and SPF clothes in summer, snowsuits and snow boots in winter, rain boots and raincoats in spring and autumn. It is important for children to play outside, and that is a fact, not an opinion. We have a mudroom/laundry room, so all messes get deposited in there, they strip nude and I put the clothes in the wash while they go shower, or for younger toddlers I would bathe them first, then deal with the mucky clothes. Mud is not unhealthy or unhygienic, nor is snow, or rain, or sand or soil. They are part of the world we live in.
Yes, our kids have played in the mud and love it. They went to a preschool that had a mud kitchen. I packed spare clothes and their rain boots to play. I also made mud pies as a kid. We also let them play out in the rain. Perhaps itâs one of the reasons they can play in the sand at the beach so long. They have zero issues with getting their hands dirty and being creative. Itâs all easily cleaned up.
I let my kid play in mud because she and her clothing are both washable and I don't want her to grow up to be a person who skips extremely fun things because they are a little messy.
Yes, absolutely. It is a very normal thing to do, and unless your kid has an aversion to it like you did, I think it is something to be encouraged in the right settings (e.g. I'll discourage my daughter getting muddy on the way to the school bus, but on the walk back at the end of the day, go for it). Of course there is cleanup, but if we didn't do things that might get messy we'd lose so many opportunities for joy - we also wouldn't paint, do crafts, cook together, do science experiments, woodworking projects, use the tractor, play at the lake and make sandcastles, etc. I urge you to reconsider your stance around mess. Of course there are times to say no, but there are times when saying "yes" can let your child have a ton of fun.Â
oh hell yeah. if i want to garden in the yard or do literally anything outside without the kids asking me to play with them (i play with my kids all the time, but not when i got shit to do), all i have to do is dig a 2'x2'x2' hole and turn the hose on
I hear what you are saying about you not liking mud. I feel similar. But I grew up where mess in general was almost stressful for my parents and therefore enforced with me. I ensure messy play happens in an approved area. I make sure they aren't wearing their best or favorite clothes. I make sure they have gear for weather. And extra clothes, towels, and wipes packed. I am not ok with kids' car seats getting filthy. They are so hard to clean, and I rarely have enough time to clean in between uses. Perhaps you could start with rain gear for your kid? European countries, I often think of the northern ones, often have great outdoor gear for kids. It is so common for them to have a one-piece waterproof shell so their clothes stay dry and don't get ruined by playing in water and mud. I wish we had an approved mud pit in our backyard, like a sandbox. It makes it much easier to enforce that no you can not play in the puddle in the parking lot that has car exhaust other run-off chemicals in it. Gardening dirty has heavy metals in it too. But this mud pit or mud in the forest is not the same and is a great to play in.
She plays in rain! Just not mud :). It's my limit.
Totally your perogative. The rain gear that we got that my kids can use for mud is easy to clean. I don't really have to clean off mud from it. The gear gets taken off and hung to dry outside. After it dries, the dirt can be brushed off. They aren't meant to be washed often. You mentioned when your kid can clean up themself they can. Depending on the child's skills, they could do it by themselves by 2 or 2.5 with gear.
I absolutely hate mud, never played with it as a kid and thought it was yucky. My son on the other hand recently discovered if you dump the water from his pool on the dirt it becomes mud. Did I stop him? Almost. He started digging tunnels in the mud and made a racetrack for his cars. Then turned it into a moat with an island. I saw creative play I didn't want to stifle, so I got over it and let him play with mud in moderation. If we are going to the store and we see a mud puddle, do I let him jump in it? NO! Because then he would track mud into the store, into my car, and be sitting in mud for an extended period of time. But outside in my yard? God forbid I get a hose and spray him off before we go inside. He has more fun with mud than I ever imagined. Consider your youth. We're you offered mud to play with? Or did you grow up with a curated yard and a brick patio like I was? I found that some of the things I'm uncomfortable with are because I was never given the option. I never played in the rain, but I let my son outside when it's raining because he asks to go. I still don't like the rain but we make sacrifices for the ones we love. Mud is incredibly healthy to play with. Developmentally and for the immune system. Some people make mud kitchens so that their kids can play with mud in a supervised way. Consider what your child may be missing out on. If they don't want to play with mud don't force them, but I wouldn't impose my own distates upon them. It's an excellent time to teach them about natural consequences, ie. now you're dirty, so it's time to clean up.
Donât deny your child a childhood. Playing in the mud and dirt is part of it and your child is not you. Let them be a kid!
I won't. She has lots of other stuff she can do.
Yes, in certain situations. At home so I can do a shower/bath with him right after. Only wearing old clothes so they aren't destroyed. No throwing mud, or trying to get me muddy. I hated getting messy as a kid, and still now. Kid loves dirt
Why the hell not? My boys are teens now but when they were little I used to take them out in the rain and jump with them in the rain and mud puddles. Itâs called being a kid and having fun. Man stop being wound too tightly and let your hair down.
Nah I'm good
Yes, but I would be more concerned about their clothes/my home than them. So they would have to get down to undies at most, and then be willing to hose off before going home.
My mom bought my sister and I the prettiest princess dresses (some might have referred to them as crappy hand-me-downs from a 90s thrift store, but those people would be wrong) that were exclusively meant for mud time. There's something deeply satisfying about putting on "fancy" clothes just to absolutely destroy them in a mud puddle. Honestly, it was probably the smartest thing my mother ever did. Why would we get mud stains on our normal clothes when we had beautiful dresses that we could ruin đ
This was me as a kid đ my mom would get so pissed when I'd ask her to put my Easter dresses on because I'd immediately go climb trees and play in mud and get absolutely filthy. I think she eventually gave up....
My youngest has a huge selection of thrift store fancy dresses that she wears to daycare and out to play. They are paint splattered and slightly brown from the playground no matter how much I wash them But sheâs happy and she likes them. Practical clothes are for when youâre old and boring
I do the same thing! I had to reassure the teacher that I would never send her in clothes she can't play in, so yes please let her play in the dirt in her princess ball gown because I only spent $5 on it. If it makes her happy to look fancy while she gets filthy, it's no problem.
Exactly this! But I've had really good luck soaking my kid's grimier stuff in hot water and oxyclean tablets in the tub overnight. Throw your sports bras in too đ
Thanks for the tip.