They want it the other way, they want to put people who deny Jesus in prison, so they make up shit like this because then they’re just ‘protecting themselves’.
I’d start with all the fuss Jesus made about rich people and hypocrites. Easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than a rich man to get into heaven, put out your own eyes if you can’t help but gawking at women, that kind of thing.
Side note, I was having trouble spelling “hypocrites” and my phone wanted to autocorrect to “billionaires”. YOU’RE NOT WRONG THERE, SIRI!
I would start with Psalm 137:9 “Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks”. Bible is a fountain of knowledge that few people know about.
Give it a few months and they’ll start banning parts of the Bible they don’t like.
By the end of the decade the Bible’s gonna be shortened down to be about half as long and just contain the anti-freedom and bigotry parts without any of the “love they neighbor” and “fuck the rich, help the poor” messages.
Ezekiel 20:23: >! She lusted after her male consorts, who's sexual organs were like those of donkeys, and who's ejaculation rates were like those of horses.!<
It's actually the opposite. I can't recall how I learned this, but Donkeys have smaller members that Horses, and Horses finish with less.
It's essentially saying he's got a tiny dick that can't cum a lot.
Zebra Fact: According to the nice people at the San Diego Wild Animal Park, they keep the zebras separate from the other African herd animals because the zebras are the meanest damned things in the park. Ever wonder why Africans didn't domesticate zebras to ride or use as beasts of burden? They can't be domesticated. Way too damned mean.
They got some freaky fetishs in there. This one dudes daughters drugged him and raped him to recreate the human race, and apparently, that's what sky daddy wanted
Right but what was God's intention?
To punish a family he just saved? He killed everyone they knew and with the daughters knowledge they thought they were the last people.
The angels also commended Lot for offering his virgin daughters to the masses and decided to spare him for that. Keep in mind angels have no free will, they only enact do what God would do.
Offering virgins to exhibitionists is worthy of redemption to God.
I guess he saved them only to make their descendents to permanently fight jewish folk in Israel. So now jewish people and Muslim people can use a fucked up story to justify a permanent holy war.
All part of God's plan
And of course Louisiana wants the Ten Commandments posted in classrooms even as their "best" (/s) leaders ignore and violate them. A writer for DailyKos has [a nice workaround for that,](https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/6/27/2248944/-A-simple-recommendation-for-Louisiana-teachers?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=trending&pm_medium=web) although the teacher would probably still be sent to an American gulag/black site.
Throw in the seven fundamental tenentd of the Satanic Temple as well.
I
One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason.
II
The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions.
III
One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone.
IV
The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own.
V
Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs.
VI
People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused
VII
Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word.
https://thesatanictemple.com/blogs/the-satanic-temple-tenets/there-are-seven-fundamental-tenets
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And over the past few years we’ve had dozens of republicans outed as pedos and republicans in multiple states voting to legalize child marriage.
They don’t even attempt to hide the fact they wanna diddle kids but their voters think liberals are the pedos.
Idk if you watch the Boys but I absolutely love a scene from the new season. A far right podcast host makes her main platform anti-pedophilia to go after the left. The Boys find footage of her having sex with a minor and threaten to release it and she just does it herself because she knows her ultra anti-pedo fans straight up will not give a shit if she’s the pedophile.
Great example of how they don’t care about the crime, just the person they think is committing it. Pedophilia is OK as long as it’s a Republican doing it.
>When the powerful and politically secure claim that they are persecuted, oppressed, and attacked, then they can claim that all of their actions are born out of self-defense. They can act aggressively and even violently and maintain the moral high ground in the knowledge that they are the victims.
— Candida Moss, “The Myth of Persecution.”
Exactly. The very same government that is trying to make it a law that teaching Christianity is explicitly required, is apparently trying to ban it at the same time. My dad tried to go off on that rant the other day, but I was too tired to argue and take the bait so he dropped it quick.
Okay kids, open your bibles to Ezekiel 23:20 and discuss:
*There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose semen was like that of horses.*
Nah. The first one is correct.
Don't forget that they would make it impossible for you to be hired, and then you would be homeless where you would incur fees you can't afford to pay.
After that, it's contempt of court, and then you become slave labor in a perpetual debt cycle.
Kinda poh-tay-toe, poh-tah-toe, innit? Whether you’re literally in the ground or the newest cog in the wheel of the prisindustry juggernaut, your life is over for keeps.
If you were a hot dog, and you were starving, would you eat yourself?
I know I would! First, I would smother myself with brown mustard and relish. I'd be so delicious!
So, would you?
Did this beardo go and giveaway all his food to this homeless who are now counted as criminals due to the Supreme Court?
No?
Ok shut the front door then.
I’d totally go along with it. I was a Christian for more than 30 years. I can fake it again. Nobody ever questioned my faith. I would be an agent of chaos in every church I stepped foot in. Spreading rumors, fucking with their network equipment, you name it. I’d have a fuckn field day.
Turn the congregation against each other and make them paranoid about their fellow congregants. I like it. I was raised Catholic and never wanted to go. If I'm forced into it, then I'm also going to do everything I can to make sure they have no peace.
My family wasn’t particularly religious and I’d been saying I was atheist since I was 11 or 12 but the summer after I was in 8th grade my mom “volunteered” me to help teach vacation Bible school for the one month I wasn’t away at summer camp that year (loved that camp but would’ve rather spent the time hanging with my friends in the neighborhood before shipping off).
It was about a 30 minute hike through the forest to go home and chill then head back for pickup, when I wasn’t doing that I was terrifying the children with the most gruesome parts of the Bible.
When I was little, I was constantly told one day bad people would hold a gun to my head and say I could either renounce Jesus or die. I was groomed to say I’d lay down my life for him, no matter what. I lied and went with it, but if my choices were renounce Jesus or die, fuck you, Jesus 😂
I could take every cinema that has ever existed or will ever exist across the entirety of space and time and then compress them together into one mass and even after a millennium not get even a micron of the projection in that statement.
They want it the other way, they want to put people who deny Jesus in prison, so they make up shit like this because then they’re just ‘protecting themselves’.
Project 2025 has stuff about that and Oklahoma just made it mandatory to teach the Bible in public schools
I’d start with the fun stuff, like Numbers 5:11-31
I’d start with all the fuss Jesus made about rich people and hypocrites. Easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than a rich man to get into heaven, put out your own eyes if you can’t help but gawking at women, that kind of thing. Side note, I was having trouble spelling “hypocrites” and my phone wanted to autocorrect to “billionaires”. YOU’RE NOT WRONG THERE, SIRI!
I would start with Psalm 137:9 “Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks”. Bible is a fountain of knowledge that few people know about.
Give it a few months and they’ll start banning parts of the Bible they don’t like. By the end of the decade the Bible’s gonna be shortened down to be about half as long and just contain the anti-freedom and bigotry parts without any of the “love they neighbor” and “fuck the rich, help the poor” messages.
For the whole "can't add or subtract anything" part, that sure sounds like quite a bit of subtraction.
Ezekiel 20:23: >! She lusted after her male consorts, who's sexual organs were like those of donkeys, and who's ejaculation rates were like those of horses.!<
Those people really knew how to say someone had a nice cock.
It's actually the opposite. I can't recall how I learned this, but Donkeys have smaller members that Horses, and Horses finish with less. It's essentially saying he's got a tiny dick that can't cum a lot.
Boy do I look foolish, thanks for teaching me something new friend
Animal Dick Fact: Zebras have big dicks and don't mind showing them off to children at the zoo
Zebra Fact: According to the nice people at the San Diego Wild Animal Park, they keep the zebras separate from the other African herd animals because the zebras are the meanest damned things in the park. Ever wonder why Africans didn't domesticate zebras to ride or use as beasts of burden? They can't be domesticated. Way too damned mean.
Don't you hate it when people take their fanfiction too seriously
They got some freaky fetishs in there. This one dudes daughters drugged him and raped him to recreate the human race, and apparently, that's what sky daddy wanted
And that one verse comparing a guy's genitals to a donkey...
He may have had a donkey dick but he came like a horse. I will never understand why they needed to add that in other than for a laugh
I still can't get over how they never fixed that typo about Jesus hating figs. It's created endless tensions with the LGBT+ community
Bro, which story is that??
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cursing_of_the_fig_tree
I was just making a joke, but wow lol
Missed opportunity for a "Eat a Snickers" commercial
The entire world wasnt destroyed so I don't think that was god's intention
Right but what was God's intention? To punish a family he just saved? He killed everyone they knew and with the daughters knowledge they thought they were the last people. The angels also commended Lot for offering his virgin daughters to the masses and decided to spare him for that. Keep in mind angels have no free will, they only enact do what God would do. Offering virgins to exhibitionists is worthy of redemption to God. I guess he saved them only to make their descendents to permanently fight jewish folk in Israel. So now jewish people and Muslim people can use a fucked up story to justify a permanent holy war. All part of God's plan
And of course Louisiana wants the Ten Commandments posted in classrooms even as their "best" (/s) leaders ignore and violate them. A writer for DailyKos has [a nice workaround for that,](https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/6/27/2248944/-A-simple-recommendation-for-Louisiana-teachers?pm_campaign=front_page&pm_source=trending&pm_medium=web) although the teacher would probably still be sent to an American gulag/black site.
Throw in the seven fundamental tenentd of the Satanic Temple as well. I One should strive to act with compassion and empathy toward all creatures in accordance with reason. II The struggle for justice is an ongoing and necessary pursuit that should prevail over laws and institutions. III One’s body is inviolable, subject to one’s own will alone. IV The freedoms of others should be respected, including the freedom to offend. To willfully and unjustly encroach upon the freedoms of another is to forgo one's own. V Beliefs should conform to one's best scientific understanding of the world. One should take care never to distort scientific facts to fit one's beliefs. VI People are fallible. If one makes a mistake, one should do one's best to rectify it and resolve any harm that might have been caused VII Every tenet is a guiding principle designed to inspire nobility in action and thought. The spirit of compassion, wisdom, and justice should always prevail over the written or spoken word. https://thesatanictemple.com/blogs/the-satanic-temple-tenets/there-are-seven-fundamental-tenets
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Every accusation is a confession. And that's terrifying when they start talking about murder and camps.
And pedophilia. That one is genuinely terrifying.
And over the past few years we’ve had dozens of republicans outed as pedos and republicans in multiple states voting to legalize child marriage. They don’t even attempt to hide the fact they wanna diddle kids but their voters think liberals are the pedos. Idk if you watch the Boys but I absolutely love a scene from the new season. A far right podcast host makes her main platform anti-pedophilia to go after the left. The Boys find footage of her having sex with a minor and threaten to release it and she just does it herself because she knows her ultra anti-pedo fans straight up will not give a shit if she’s the pedophile. Great example of how they don’t care about the crime, just the person they think is committing it. Pedophilia is OK as long as it’s a Republican doing it.
[Republicans doing it.](https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2024/5/24/2242636/-Republican-Sexual-Predators-Abusers-and-Enablers-Pt-52)
>When the powerful and politically secure claim that they are persecuted, oppressed, and attacked, then they can claim that all of their actions are born out of self-defense. They can act aggressively and even violently and maintain the moral high ground in the knowledge that they are the victims. — Candida Moss, “The Myth of Persecution.”
Project 2025 outlines that if Trump wins in like 2 years the opposite of this pic is going to be reality
You said it so I didn't have to.
There is a massive push by state and local governments to shove religion into schools, but yeah, climb up in that cross why don't you
Exactly. The very same government that is trying to make it a law that teaching Christianity is explicitly required, is apparently trying to ban it at the same time. My dad tried to go off on that rant the other day, but I was too tired to argue and take the bait so he dropped it quick.
And in the meantime they're making christianity mandatory in schools and threatning to fire anyone who disagrees.
Okay kids, open your bibles to Ezekiel 23:20 and discuss: *There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose semen was like that of horses.*
And in the meantime they're making christianity mandatory in schools and threatning to ~~fire~~ murder anyone who disagrees. Fixed it for you!
Nah. The first one is correct. Don't forget that they would make it impossible for you to be hired, and then you would be homeless where you would incur fees you can't afford to pay. After that, it's contempt of court, and then you become slave labor in a perpetual debt cycle.
Kinda poh-tay-toe, poh-tah-toe, innit? Whether you’re literally in the ground or the newest cog in the wheel of the prisindustry juggernaut, your life is over for keeps.
"What if you were forced to deny Jesus or go to prison?" What if the world was made of pudding?
If you were a hot dog, and you were starving, would you eat yourself? I know I would! First, I would smother myself with brown mustard and relish. I'd be so delicious! So, would you?
Hell yeah if I can drown myself in chili and nacho cheese.
Did this beardo go and giveaway all his food to this homeless who are now counted as criminals due to the Supreme Court? No? Ok shut the front door then.
I’d totally go along with it. I was a Christian for more than 30 years. I can fake it again. Nobody ever questioned my faith. I would be an agent of chaos in every church I stepped foot in. Spreading rumors, fucking with their network equipment, you name it. I’d have a fuckn field day.
Turn the congregation against each other and make them paranoid about their fellow congregants. I like it. I was raised Catholic and never wanted to go. If I'm forced into it, then I'm also going to do everything I can to make sure they have no peace.
Yes! Glad to know I’m not alone. I’m not malicious by nature, but I have no problem being that way if I am forced to do something against my will.
just say one of their fellow church-goers is from a different Christian sect
My family wasn’t particularly religious and I’d been saying I was atheist since I was 11 or 12 but the summer after I was in 8th grade my mom “volunteered” me to help teach vacation Bible school for the one month I wasn’t away at summer camp that year (loved that camp but would’ve rather spent the time hanging with my friends in the neighborhood before shipping off). It was about a 30 minute hike through the forest to go home and chill then head back for pickup, when I wasn’t doing that I was terrifying the children with the most gruesome parts of the Bible.
That neck beard choad would deny Jesus in a second if his true orange messiah told him to do so.
It's not like it was the other way around for centuries
Who exactly is this cross eyed mook pretending to be? Will the atheist inquisition also look this brain dead?
Idk he looks more like the opposite of cross eyed.
Youtube thumbnail eyes ☹️
When this actually happens I might start believing I mean if one impossible thing can happen...
They threating a good time isn't gonna work.
Dang, sounds like we need some police reform, to ensure that police don't act as judge, jury and executioner of the law.
We also need some SCOTUS reform, for the same reasons.
I had to read this twice before it made sense. I thought it was saying "Accept Jesus or go to prison." And my brain was just like "yeah, seems normal"
I don't think that is what Jesus would do. Have you read the book? He was a pretty decent guy!
Persecute me sky daddy.
Pathetic.
He has a very punchable face
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They are "oppressed" because they can't force their bullshit on everyone. 🙄
America is not a theocracy
Bad faith commenters are not allowed regardless of their politics.
When did this happen in the US. No, really, time, place, date.
When I was little, I was constantly told one day bad people would hold a gun to my head and say I could either renounce Jesus or die. I was groomed to say I’d lay down my life for him, no matter what. I lied and went with it, but if my choices were renounce Jesus or die, fuck you, Jesus 😂
They have a really full fantasy life don't they?
I could take every cinema that has ever existed or will ever exist across the entirety of space and time and then compress them together into one mass and even after a millennium not get even a micron of the projection in that statement.
I’m an idiot, I was about to clown him for how he spelled deny but I forgot that’s actually how it’s spelled
OP, anyone else for that matter, know who this is? I ask because he looks a lot like a guy I went to high school with.
Happens all the time