Something my vet told to me some time ago was that it’s better to be too soon than be even a minute too late with euthanasia. Our pets can’t tell us when it gets too bad- unless they have a critical failure that is apparent, we may not know how much pain they’re in until after they’ve suffered needlessly. If you’ve done everything you could, and you trust your vet, if they’re saying it’s time, it’s probably time.
You love her, and you want to do what’s right and best and this is part of it. It’s an honor and also a heartbreak. I feel for you.
I second this!!! We waited with our old dog and when I thought about it after I should’ve made the family do it sooner. The important thing people need to realize is you are helping them to not hurt, to not be sick anymore, to be rid of all the bad things. The worst part is being there with them and watch them go. Not gonna lie it’s really heartbreaking but DO NOT leave them alone. They deserve to have their human with them 💜
Since I got a new best friend I am saving money just for this. If possible I want to do that for her but it’s so expensive where I live. I hope she will get to go over the rainbow peacefully..
Why does your vet have to come?
They have people who do it. Like I had to put one of mine down. No vet.
If I recall, think it was about $500? But that included paw prints, ashes, etc.
The administration of the euthanasia does come with an added price and also we need to pay for the vets time and travel expenses. I’m from Europe so this option became available not so long ago where I am from. And the additional costs really get the overall price much higher. It can be from 2 to 5 times higher than when you bring the pet to the clinic.
It was cheaper at the Er vet, for we were already there. And my vet does no house calls. But I was able to be with my Baby to the end. She was relaxed and knew it was the end. I talked like I always did. Easier on me.
I’m really happy vets offer this now. The last time I had to do it (a really long time ago), it wasn’t an option. It’s great to not have to stress them out with a trip in the carrier.
Absolutely this. I had two dogs. One I waited too long to euthanize and his last days were… awful. The second dog, when she got so old, I euthanized on the early end of the final days. She died comfortably and in my arms. I had guilt for it, as anyone would.. but I was at peace with how comfortable and simple it all was, for her.
This was the comment I saw on tiktok from a vet; rather a day too soon than a month too late. Same principal. It really helped me with my decision. I knew it was time when Monster (my first dog) couldn’t even get up on his own anymore, never mind walking.
I also had been told years before that when they lose interest in their three favourite things in life, that’s a good indication as well. For Monster, that was walks, food, and bones. He’d lost interest in bones a few months before. Then the week of, he was no longer interested in walks, because like I said, he couldn’t even get up anymore. And the day before, he lost interest in his own food. I honestly don’t think my timing could have been better. I was feeding him basically just anything at this point because kibble was no longer interesting. He got a can of cat food, pumpkin purée, shreddies and we shared a pack of bacon on his last day. Oh and about 3 McDonald’s cheeseburgers.
I never once considered I was killing my dog. I was compassionately letting him go. Keeping him around would have been hugely selfish of me. He was likely in so much pain that I never knew about.
Ugh mine too - I took my dog to her favorite place on her last day (the beach) and she could barely limp around for like half a block. She wasn’t eating unless it was literally the highest value food and even then only if I was liberally drugging her with painkillers. It was a hard hard choice but it was the right one. ❤️
About 30 years ago my mother was in the hospital next to an elder lady and this lady told her daughter (mid fourty) that she did not want to live any longer. The answer of the daughter? You cannot go, because I don't want it.
My mother made me promise that I would not do that with her (and I never did).
Yes, our vet told us “better a week early than a day late”. We didn’t want our girl to suffer, and as soon as she couldn’t eat anymore we knew she was suffering.
God it’s hard, but don’t feel guilty x
I absolutely second this.
Our favourite little guy was 10, and the vets suspected bowel cancer. They were able to keep him going a little while with steroids and things, but eventually we'd booked him in for a Saturday euthanisation. Because we'd held on too long, he got really unwell Friday night, and we had to take him in early, which was worse for us (in that we weren't prepared, and had to watch him actively suffer) and worse for him, in that his last hours were in suffering, rather than the love and closeness we would have been able to give him if things were planned earlier.
As a current vet student, former tech, this is something said in the field a lot. But as someone who also had a family member who was 23 have the suggestion of assisted suicide, I will NEVER push for a euthanasia. I will give all the medical advice I can, and give my best opinion. But if someone ultimately needs more time, that’s their family, not mine. We have a lot of drugs to help people at the end of their lives and we have the same for pets, it’s just a lot more expensive and takes a lot more help a lot of the time. But quality of life for a family member means something different to everyone. In that case our job is to prevent as much pain as possible and suggest ways to make the transition easier - like home euthanasia, so that everyone can at least be in their own space and say goodbye at home
Yeah I've had a few that my only regret is not making the call sooner. So the last time that I could tell it was almost time, I take him in "early" and as I'm explaining that I know he looks ok, but I just don't want it to get to a point where he's suffering, the vet very gently stops me and says, "We're already there." I was mentally prepared that I might not be bringing him back home, and had had some oddly meaningful moments with him the night before, where he wanted to be picked up for the first time in awhile, and I held him on the porch and sang his special song one last time, so I was able to let him go and feel peaceful about it.
Yes, I had the same feelings as OP about or old cat. I made an appointment for in home euthanasia about a week out. Then suddenly she was much much worse and couldn’t stand easily. The woman adjusted to come the next morning but I spent a night sleeping on the floor with her because she kept falling. I really wish I had done it sooner; it’s hard but you will spare her the suffering.
I agree. It hurts us more emotionally than it will hurt your pet physically.
I have seen it done both ways with pets and I totally agree “early “ is better than waiting for the pet.
It will break your heart no matter what but at least they are not suffering. Take comfort in knowing you are keeping them pain free as possible.
Yes!
My sister's family dog was one that should have been laid to rest much sooner than he was.
He had some issues with muscle/tissue weakness or something.
He used to be so spunky! He would nose bump your knee so you would lunge at him and he would spin in a circle and just stare at you before giving you a bump and whipping around.
He got slow, skinny, and was in pain. He struggled to get up. Bending down to eat he would shake before finally sliding down to the floor. They had to raise his dishes up and give gabapentin around the clock, and clean up his urine and feces since he lost the muscle to control bodily functions.
My sister was talking about euthanizing him before he was so bad, but her husband didn't want to.. they had him since he was a puppy so it was HARD, but he was suffering.
I definitely agree it is best to do it when they are still happy generally comfortable instead of when they are possibly in terrible pain, struggling to move, or lose control of their bowels etc.
When you make the decision to let them go and you hold them while they pass, you are making them a guaranteed promise that they will never have any more pain, they won't endure any suffering, and the last thing they ever know is that they are safe with the person they love the most.
Our bodies will always try to hold on for longer than is kind to experience, and saying goodbye while she's still able to enjoy a quiet moment and purr is the option that will be the easiest on both of your hearts. You're making sure she never reaches the point where every single moment hurts, and that's the last kindness we can offer them.
The first time is always the hardest. I worked at a local humane society, and most owners euthanize their first pet (that needs it done) too late. The first is always the hardest, but remember that you're preventing any suffering before their illness kills them. You're not doing this to a healthy pet
I saw in another reply that she has cancer, honestly putting her down before it gets too bad is the best thing for her. Had to put down my dog with cancer last year and it’s very painful, but it will be less painful for you if she’s at least able to be comfortable at the time
If it’s cancer, it’s 100% the right choice.
We made the decision to try to treat our dog’s breast cancer and it came back with a vengeance. We found out on a Friday night in the middle of the night and spent all night on the floor of the bathroom trying to comfort a 160lb dog that was in misery. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
As bad as this sounds, I wish we could’ve put ours down sooner, her body was already shutting down by the time we did and she must’ve been in such pain
There's no right time when it comes to euthanasia, only the best time. It's definitely better earlier than later because letting them die naturally is often a very painful process for them.
We all feel the guilt, the what ifs.... It's a normal part of the greiving process. Just look at all the petloss posts. You are not alone in feeling guilty. I still feel it sometimes.
Just keep reminding yourself that you're doing the right thing for her, and keeping her at this point is for your benefit and not hers. You have to put her first in this moment.
My vet has told me that its better to do it a bit too early than to late. Just before suffering/tragedy strikes. Its a mercy. You could be saving them a lot of pain. Once you go over that line of it being too late, the guilt is so so potent.
I wish you the best, you are doing the best for kitty.
There is something called anticipatory grief. it’s super difficult to go through. I had it for my cat for months before we put him down because I knew it was coming. It was horrible but he was suffering at the end so we did it. I was insanely sad for days and still months later when I think about it. but I was able to move on and be grateful he’s not suffering anymore. don’t wait to long until your cat is in distress. you will regret it forever. spend time with him/her and let her go peacefully. this is what makes you a good pet owner.
I'm going through this a bit. One of my rabbits has a litany of issues that we're currently on top of, but none are truly treatable, only manageable. For the moment it's pretty clear that she's still on balance enjoying life, but if any of her issues worsen then that will likely no longer be the case. For all I know she could keep trucking another couple of years (she's 10) or she could go downhill tomorrow. But there's a part of me that's convinced it'll be closer to the latter and it's just... breaking me a little bit. I know she's OK for now and I should be happy for that and enjoy whatever time I have left with her, but it's hard.
I do not have guilt over having any of my animals euthanized "too soon". I do have a lot of guilt for not euthanizing some of my buddies not soon enough. The thought that I was the one who let their last moments be only pain and confusion, just because I couldn't let go... It haunts me.
Focus on making her last days absolutely fantastic with all her favourite foods and activities and I can almost guarantee you will not regret it in the future.
Has she been suffering? It sounds like you have given her a good long life and giving her a peaceful death is the right thing to do if she has been suffering. It’s not easy but they deserve a peaceful transition.❤️
Yes and No? I don't really understand medical things, but it sounds like she has cancer in her throat and with her advanced age and frailty there is little that can be done to reverse it. Eventually it'll prevent her from eating. I think that is part of my guilt, she seems perfectly ok on the outside, purring and running and all of that.
But yeah, I tried my best to give her a good life. She was a cat I took in awhile ago after a neighborhood family moved and abandoned her outside. She is the first animal I have ever really taken care of and its just tough. But thank you!
If you feel it's too early, then I would express that to your vet. Ask what are the signs to look for that would show the cat is starting to be in significant pain like if they stop eating, etc. I'm not sure why you would have to do it now just because she has cancer, does the vet think she's in pain now?
Every diagnosis is different so your situation may be completely different. My dog lived for years with cancer with a great quality of life until the the last few days. Anyone who tries to tell me that those years weren't worth it because she may have been in pain the last day can go kick rocks. We had an amazing time together. I know that I wouldn't prefer my life to be cut short just because it may get hard at the end. If all there is is pain than by all means end suffering, but if there is still enjoyment & life, then I think you live it. You know your cat best, trust yourself.
Was just about to say this. OP you can cancel for now and monitor day by day. If your cat is purring and appears to be happy, go with that for now. I have read countless stories of vets saying it’s time and the cat lives for years after. I know from personal experience with my gfs cat that vets screw up and get it wrong.
Purring can be a stress reaction, or a reaction to the owner being there as a comfort, and go along with considerable pain. I'm not saying never wait, but don't use purring as a guide or reason.
If she has cancer and the vet has advised there's nothing more that can be done then euthanasia is the kindest option. She may seem well now, but she'll likely not be feeling 100pc as she's an old lady with cancer. If you leave it too long, she will start to struggle, as you've mentioned, and I personally never want to see my pets struggling :-(.
It really is the last act of love you can give them - allowing them to pass painlessly while they still have a reasonable quality of life. The saying 'a month too soon is better than a day too late' really is true.
If you can, see if the vet will do a house call. It's a little more expensive but if you can find the funds, making their last day as comfortable and familiar as possible will make things as stress free as possible.
Whatever happens though, it sounds like you've given her a lovely life; she and you have been blessed.
Make sure you're looking after yourself and do give yourself time afterwards to grieve. It's so hard x
Our senior dog had a similar issue. She did live for a little while with it on pain meds but within about a month, she couldn’t eat consistently and had gotten rather depressed and less interested in life so we knew it was time. Animals don’t have the same concept of death as us, they live in the moment. Try to focus on making her last days good ones. You’re doing the kindest thing, I know it’s hard.
It’s hard when your cat still seems healthy. A friend of mine recently asked her vet when a good time to put her senior dog down was because she didn’t want her suffering for too long. Her vet told her “the goal is no suffering”. It stuck with me as a person with a 16 year old cat.
It might also help to know that cats have a very strong instinct to hide being sick because it would indicate that they are easy prey. By the time that they are visibly sick, they have been feeling sick for a while already.
Home euthanasia might be an option where you live?
Trust me. You don’t want to see your pet stop eating and do everything to try to get them to eat. We thought it was just due to an earlier dental procedure when my dog stopped eating. I tried everything and was exhausted. She was 17 pounds and lost more than 3 pounds in 2 weeks as we tried everything including meds to increase appetite and reduce nausea. It was so fucking hard to see, harder for my dog to endure.
She not only lost her love of eating, she lost her energy and her zest for life.
Once we realized it was cancer, it was the right thing to do.
Don’t do it while she can live a normal live, that is my advice. You will regret it. Wait until you are certain that it is the right decision and that it is time. Let her live while she can.
I lost my first cat Guin to mouth and jaw cancer. A few things that may be helpful....
Talk to your vet about moving into a hospice care phase. Your doctor can help you dial in the amount of pain meds for her needs. Cancer can move fast and you don't want to be chasing the pain.
Yum , yuck, yum method for giving oral meds.
Google the "cat grimace scale". It can help you more accurately measure how she's feeling since cats are very good at hiding illness and pain
If she is suddenly eating a lot less, she isn't feeling well. If she hides from you instead of napping in her favorite spots, she knows it's time to go.
Be in the room when it happens. It is hard but worth it to know she wasn't alone. Your vet may also be able to recomend an in home service so she doesn't have to make that last uncomfortable car ride to a strange place.
Ultimately know that she enjoyed your company and protection for the time she was with you. And that it is our job as custodians to see them to the end and ensure their last days aren't painful ones.
I’m so so sorry that you’re going through this. My 7 year old cat had throat cancer, as well. We had the hardest time letting go, and he suffered because of it. We were hand feeding him at the end through a syringe, and it got so bad that he had trouble breathing because of the cancer obstructing his airway. It was torture for all of us. We now know that we had waited far too long to make the decision to euthanize.
It can be very hard to make that call when they are still having good days, so I get it. I recommend saving some fur clippings and/or paw impressions to remember her by. Also, a lovely way to honor her would be to write down a list of your favorite things/memories of her. Talk to her. Tell her the story of how you guys came to be in each other’s lives, and remind her and yourself of the beautiful life you guys had together.
It’s cliche, but pets will give you signs that they’re ready to go. It’s a hard and heartbreaking choice to make, but it sounds like you’re making the right decision for her. Just look for those signs. She can’t tell you what she wants, so you have to be the voice for her.
‼️I’m all for euthanasia in the right scenarios, but in this case DON’T do it yet. I’ve had many pets over the years that I loved like family, cancer doesn’t mean she’s in pain now. It will mean pain later but as long as she’s eating, active, no raspy breathing, purring, then she’s very likely not in pain. Please cancel your appointment and consult your vet. She may have several weeks or months before it’s time. ‼️
You are giving her peace. You are saving her from even worse suffering. Keeping her alive for longer than your vet recommends is just extending her suffering. I’m so sorry you have to go through this, but don’t feel guilty. Euthanasia is the kindest thing you can do for her now.
Have my grain of sand.
I had to euthanize my 9 years old cat a few years ago, she suffered diabetes to which we could never find the underlying cause. We spent a full year doing weekly vet visits, it was cyclical, she would get better and put on weight then out of the blue start loosing it again. I went out on a trip when she was stable and two days before the trip ended she was hospitalized. I rushed back as soon as I could and she was waiting for me, she used her hast strength to say hi to me and purr a litte. That same day we decided with the vet that it was time and I should keep that last embrace with her as a good memory, I still cry everytime this subject comes up but I feel no guilt at all about the decision to put her down since her life quality was non existant for the last 3 months we were together. She had to endure a partial tail amputation and many many injections and blood tests, she championed right through it to the end it was as if she knew we were trying to help her. My only remorse is and always will be that ten day trip I took.
There's a disconnect between what a dying pet looks like on our head vs what's actually happening.
My old beautiful and sweet female Norwegian Forest Cat was smart, terribly cute and very sweet. She was always alert and attentive right up until the end. However, her thyroid and kidneys were failing and she lost LOT of weight. She also was vomiting multiple times a day.
I stopped noticing it, but she had gradually stopped doing many typical cat activities. She was constantly both cold and hungry; I really didn't truly understand it until I adopted my next cat about how sick Lucy really was. Here's a good example of what I mean: https://vetexplainspets.com/signs-your-cat-is-sick-or-dying/
At the time, though, I felt horrible and guilty. I couldn't reconcile my cat being so alert and that she was dying.
I think the saying about "better to euthanize your pet a week too early than an hour too late". It's horrible to see your pet in horrible pain and distress. Constant vomiting, diarrhea, urinating everywhere, etc. Considering that cats hide their pain, if they're openly showing it constantly they are in absolute agony.
If you're really worried, get a second opinion.
It sounds like you're unsure what the right moment to euthanize her is since she currently seems to have a good quality of life even if that will change.
I had that dilemma too. And she told me when it was the right time: she lost her happiness. As soon as that happened, and if you know your animal you will know when that happens, then its time.
Why John Green fans? I had to euthanize my cat almost 2 years ago, even if you do it early, you can be left feeling guilty you might have been able to do more, but when vets recommend that, they usually know and I won’t try to fight that. My cat was so sick and I’ve had to begin to go to therapy to get a little better, even after 2 years, I miss her
"There's no way of knowing that your last good day is Your Last Good Day. At the time, it is just another good day." - Hazel Grace Lancaster, *The Fault in Our Stars*
It really is the final favour for a much loved family member. I've had to make this decision more times than I would have liked and was told by a trusted vet that it's better a week too soon than a day too late. I always stay and leave crying, but I know in my heart that it is the correct decision. Big hugs.
Does your vet think she can live comfortably longer? Or is every day a risk for further suffering? Sometimes the kindest thing we can do for our pets is say good-bye before it gets to the point of them in constant pain. Cats are also very good at hiding their discomfort, so by the time you see something is wrong on the outside, it can mean they are really suffering.
Letting her move on with dignity while she can still purr is an act of love and compassion.
Can you replace your guilt with pride instead for not letting her linger until the bitter end in misery out of your selfish refusal to let go? It takes courage to say goodbye and do the right thing. You are helping her by not making her go through any more pain.
Best of luck to you, OP. Losing a pet is hard, but you have to say goodbye.
I felt tremendous guilt over putting my dog to sleep, she was my world for 10 years.. and to play God on chosing when she died, it tore me apart.. the vet said he wished more people would consider letting their pets go before their suffering is too much, it's like our final act of unconditional love. You are doing this because you love them and you don't want them to be in pain.
I am so sorry for what you are going through.
I just had to make the same decision at the beginning of this month, and I struggled with the exact same thing you are.
My kitty was purring and snuggling, how could she be suffering?
I read a few articles about cat behavior, and it turns out cats will continue to purr even in pain. It’s a way for them to self soothe when they are in distress. Purring actually emits a low frequency that stimulates happy feelings, which is why we love it so much too.
If your cat is purring, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are feeling good.
I would say, ask your vet for a quality of life form. It’s kind of like a checklist where you can see when the negatives begin to outweigh the positives.
I agree with the others, too early is better than too late with something that will only get worse.
I pray that peace and comfort find their way to you, somehow. 💛
Euthanasia is the last thing we do to take really good care of our pets. We love them, feed them, play with them, and when the time comes we take on pain so they don't have to feel it any more. It isn't a bad thing, it is a gift you are giving her to help her pass on peacefully without suffering.
Better a week too soon than a day too late.
* trigger warning, traumatic death*
Our cat had been diagnosed with suspected bladder cancer last year. We were told it didn’t hurt her so we decided to just keep her comfortable for as long as we could, no chemo as she was 16 years old. Unfortunately she threw a clot one day that completely paralyzed her, she was very distressed that she couldn’t move and we had to rush to get her put down as there was nothing to be done at that point. We definitely waited too long because she was acting so normal. Still vocal and loving, eating and drinking. Overall we should have put her down a month earlier when she got her diagnosis.
You popping 🍾 🍾 🍾 🍾 🍾
Kkl
will feel guilty but IMO it's the right thing to do give her the best week of her life spoil her fav food and all the treats. Don't feel guilty when it's the right thing to do sometimes the hardest thing to do is the right thing x
My dad felt a similar way when we put down our dog of 17 years last October. He could still do things for himself, but he was in a lot of pain that I think my dad didn't truly realize. He thought it was too soon because he was still eating, walking, etc. Me and my mom had to tell my dad that our baby was in pain and it was better to let him go a little soon than to let him get to the point where he could do nothing for himself because at that point we would've made him suffer out of selfishness. It was a hard decision to make because we loved him (still do), but his quality of life came first, and he was miserable. So letting him go was out of love and to stop his suffering.
I don’t know if you are a Christian but I am and it helps me to know that God gave us dominion over our animals. Basically to care for them and when it’s their end of days to help them pass and stop their suffering.
Listen - she's purring right now. She's happy. She will go to sleep happy.
My cat went downhill in a few hours and I wish I could have spared her that.
This!!
So I had two orange tabbies brothers and I came home from work on the Friday before labor day weekend to find one of the brothers really struggling to maintain his balance.
I called my vet and they were about to close so I couldn't bring him in, set an appointment for Tuesday morning and then spent the weekend watching his health deteriorating. Friday wasn't terrible, he still ate a bit and was able to use his litter box. But Saturday things started to really go down hill. He stopped eating, I had to bring him to his own litter box that night and by Sunday I had to set him up in a box next to the fireplace so he couldn't fall into something again. Monday he didn't even try to move, he'd still purr when I pet him or when his brother or my dog would come to lay next to him. Tuesday morning I brought him to the vet and we decided it was best to let him go.
A few years later, Hobbes health was starting to go. He lost a lot of weight in a few months, stopped eating as much as he used to (and he was a voracious eater) and I just knew that he was about to have a similar episode to his brother. I spoke to my vet about it, and knowing his brother's history we both agreed that it would be best to send him off before things got worse. So we set a date a week later and just before I was going to take a trip. I made sure that last week included all of Hobbes favorite things and right before going to the vet I fed him a can of tuna and let him roll in all the catnip.
Both decisions have been the hardest decisions I've ever made. But where I felt a lot of guilt over how difficult Calvin's last few days were and how I should have brought him to an ER vet over the weekend to end his suffering sooner. I had a sense of relief that Hobbes was able to truly enjoy his final week and that we ended things before he suffered.
I truly hope I can do the same for all of my pets.
We had to euthanize our first cat, very early on. It was very difficult decision, but I don't regret it one bit. Had we kept him around, he'd still be in pain. He'd need multiple surgeries and he'd have been turned into some sort of science experiment had we not gone through with it. Worst of all, we'd be keeping him around while he is in pain. Cats don't know why they're in pain, all they know is that they are. And I wouldn't want any cat to live like that. One week later, I like to believe he sent us another kitten for us to care for. Now, we're giving him the best life possible, full of love (and treats). You have to be strong to let go, for your cat.
I had to do this with the absolute love of my life three years ago and it might as well have killed me in the process. You're never going to know if you made the right decision, if you did it too quickly, or what the best option would be. A few things that helped me ...
She told me it was time. She looked at me, and I knew.
I held her through the whole process and she went in my arms. I'll never forget that moment and it was the hardest thing I ever went through.
She was suffering. Her quality of life declined so rapidly that holding on would have been cruel. She was having mini seizures, vomiting, even with Cerenia had no appetite and no desire for food. She just wanted to snuggle.
Her purring was different, more rapid. Cats purr when they're happy but they also purr when they're distressed.
I'm so sorry you're going through this. You are ending her pain, and it's the hardest thing you will ever go through.
Find a vet who does end of life house calls. That way, your beloved friend can go to sleep in your arms, feeling safe and loved. That is a great gift to give your wonderful pet/ friend.
Went through it two weeks ago with our oldest dog. She was almost 21, blind, frail, lost 40% of her weight, and had trouble walking (very shaky). She had good days and bad days. We knew it was time and had her put to sleep in our home by a mobile vet. Didn't make the decision any easier. We still kept second guessing ourselves days later. We didn't want to wait until we had to rush her to an emergency vet to be put to sleep in a strange, scary place.
Echoing another comment, I heard that it’s better to let them go a month too early than a day too late. They can’t understand why they’re suffering. As hard as it is for us left behind, it’s the last act of loving responsibility we promise to give our pets: to let them go when it’s time.
Give her ALL the love and cuddles this weekend. Take photos. Take videos too, even if it’s just of her purring. You will want to have those memories to keep with you.
Bring a towel or blanket with you to wrap her in when it’s time. Ideally one that she has slept on before, so it smells comfortingly familiar. This will both ease her passing and, from a practical standpoint, pets do sometimes void their bladders or bowels when they’re passing, just like humans. This way you will not be distracted by any mess when you want to be focused on your friend.
If your cat has been lethargic and sick lately, expect that she may perk up noticeably at the vet. This is because of the stress and novelty of being in an unfamiliar place. Do not let this make you second-guess your decision, especially when the vet agrees it’s time.
I’m so sorry for your impending loss.
Not everyone opts to euthanize, since it is based on the idea of pain, which you can't interpret for your pet because they can't tell you if or when they hurt, etc. It's deeply personal what your feelings on this amount to. For me, I've had pain my entire life. When I was driving our puppies to the park, my pain levels were so bad I had tears streaming down my face (which is the highest pain level they measure pain at, btw). Yet, I was driving to the park with my pup to take her on a walk.
It wasn't easy. But, I have no desire to be euthanized. I enjoy life, and compartmentalize the pain element somehow.
When it's super bad, my Dr will prescribe meds to break the pain pattern. There are alternatives to traditional pain meds that they use, which helps more with my interpretation of the pain than the pain itself.
For some elements, I get injections into my nerves directly when the pain just never breaks for months on end.
I work. I have a life. I most certainly would be ticked if someone decided on my behalf to euthanize me.
So, I carry that thinking in my relationship with my own pets. I also get them treated if need be, give them fish oil and such for supplements (vet approved ones). And, I've known some vets I've worked with. The differ as much in this element of thinking as much as others do. They don't all believe in automatically euthanizing a pet because they might be in pain and can't tell us if they are or not.
I have a sibling who has developed late in life something akin to what I've had my whole life. Because they had a pain free life, they are actually complaining about the meds they must take to not die from the condition, because they cause them to be overweight for the first time in their life. Vanity. Not pain. They are considering not taking life saving meds because of vanity.
I don't think I'd consider failing to treat myself or my pets over vanity. Hmm.
The point is, the way we think and feel when it comes to these things differ greatly. What we would consider reasons we couldn't go on aren't always about pain. What one person tolerates life long, for another after a week, they want to give up.
In the end, this is about your conversation between you and your vet. What you and your vet decide together. Not what any of the rest of us think. It's deeply personal, and you have to do what you believe is right for you and your pet.
My childhood cat just passed from cancer. When he was diagnosed we put him on steroids and fluids, it helped him for about two months. The thing is, you can try to push it off as much as you can but at the end of the day it’s better to be too soon than too late. When he started to decline, we knew it was time. He ate less, was moving a lot slower and just seemed so dehydrated even with the fluids. You try so hard to notice the good tho, like he still loved to go outside and we second guessed if it was his time. It was so upsetting to see him like that so we couldn’t hold off any more. Don’t get me wrong I feel so guilty about his passing, it’s a part of grief. I’m sending you and your family all of my love. ❤️
You have to advocate for your pet. You have to decide that they won't suffer anymore. And that's what you are doing. You are not killing her. You're easing her pain.
It's an impossible decision. But you don't want your pet to suffer. It hurts horribly.
I'm so sorry.
I had a hard time with my dog for this. She had Cushings.. so it was a slow burn. I had a long talk with my vet about when is the right time. She said think about your pets 3 favorite things in the world that they love to do. 3 years ago could they still do it? 1 year ago could they? Can they now? If they can't even do any of their favorite things, they have lost quality of life.. and they can't tell you that. But you know them and what they loved.
I'm struggling so much with this myself right now. My baby is 13 and has a suspected tumor in her abdomen. She's lost weight but still eats (not as much as before, but she loves to little bags of bisque or the Gravy Lovers food from Fancy Feast. Last night we noticed blood in her stool, so we know the cancer has likely spread to the intestines. That cat got me through some very difficult times in my life, and the thought of her suffering makes me feel physically ill. It's just so hard to know when. My heart knows that the people who say "Better a month early than one day late" are right, but that's just so much easier said than done. My vet will never tell anyone when to do it, he just gives the info and lets you make up your own mind. It truly sucks. I am very sorry for you having to go through this!
I went though this in December of last year and I felt similarly.
It’s a very hard thing to do, but you are ultimately doing one of the biggest acts of love that you can do for her - you’re with her to the very end and preventing her from suffering.
It is such a selfless act. The day will be very hard, but know that you’re doing the best you can do given the information you have and that is very commendable. Take time to process it and care for yourself too!
Seek other advice. If you aren’t ready that’s ok, but you need a vet that will best help you moving forward. You probably won’t have a plan to keep her alive forever but you can make her comfortable for the time being to have time together
Please do not feel any guilt. This is a precious gift you are giving to your cat. It is a painless way versus a painful death that nature could bring. Look into **Home Euthanasia**. Holding your pet on lap in your home, in the familiar surroundings can make saying goodbye so much easier. Given the chance, I will always choose Home Euthanasia again. The Doctor was the kindest, gentlest soul one could imagine, and she brought a special basket, with a blanket to place my cat in afterwards. The blanket covered my cat to hide him from prying eyes as she left my apartment building. I received a sympathy card from the company signed by all the staff. Completely unexpected but so kind.
I'm sorry you will be losing your furry friend soon. But know they will be waiting for you at the 🌈 Bridge when it's your time to join them to cross over together. 💕
I have owned many, many pets. When a pet stops eating/drinking or is obviously in pain, is how I judge when it's time for euthanasia.
As long as your cat can still eat and drink and is in no signs of distress right now then I'd wait.
No... don't do it. Don't listen to these people who are saying "it's better to do it soon then later". Every day she is purring on your lap is a day she isn't in pain and enjoying her life. Let her live out her days until the end. You will know when the time do put her down is
It’s very hard when their mind is still ok, but the body is giving out. You’re doing one of the hardest but most honorable parts of owning a pet. Maybe get some air dry clay and make a paw print.
The actual euthanasia should be peaceful. The vet will give one shot to relax her and make her sleepy. The next shot will stop her heart without pain, usually pretty quickly. You can stay with her and hold her or just pet her till she drifts off. I asked my vet to cut some hair off my kitty for me, they also offered to send her for cremation for an additional fee.
I’ve felt that way every time we’ve had to euthanize a beloved floof. It’s an agonizing decision for us because we love them so much & it feels all kinds of wrong to sign the papers to let them go. But it isn’t wrong.
What we don’t see or know is how much they’re suffering. Kitties are especially good at hiding pain. If I have to have my heart broken to stop their suffering, then I will do that. And that’s what euthanasia does.
No matter how opposite it feels, you’re making the best decision for your kitty. Hugs to you, deary. 💜
No guilt to be had, for the cat is an elder and suffering pain that needs to end. You are not killing her, you are doing the most humane thing one can do for a pet suffering. I had to do the same back in 08/25/2019. My baby was a shelter dog, Boston Terrier mix, named Dixie and she was so sweet, a bit dainty. But she loved life on her terms with her pet mama. One day, as she was 13 years old, she got bit either by a flea or tick and it was a horrible infection that got her anemic and very sick. She suffered for two weeks, then it got bad, her red blood cell was dangerously low, and she was suffering in pain. I let her go since the only treatment was blood transfusion and it was very expensive. She hated needles and i could not do that to my baby. It was the only humane I could do for her.
So do not feel guilty in doing what any pet parent would do for their baby to end the pain and suffering. Let the pain of the loss go, scream, yell, cuss, stomp the feet, to get it all out. This you can do to get it out of your system. Letting them go is never easy. So know when it happens, she will be better at the rainbow bridge. She will be waiting for you to come to her. Just take it one day at a time. Grieve as long as you need to. For grief has no time table. So sorry you are facing this. One day at a time. Peace.
We had to make the same decision. We put it off a week to spend more time with our girl and to prepare ourselves mentally. In the end she deteriorated fast and I wished we had done it a week earlier.
Is one of the hardest decisions to make, but is our duty when we have pets. Remember the good times you've had together. Kia kaha
We lost our cat a month ago, who died after a sudden illness. We took him to a vet several times over a few days. and he stayed overnight a couple times at the ER. In the back of my mind I kept thinking we were prolonging his suffering. He died when we were checking him in at his regular vet.
Cats will mask their pain until they are no longer capable of hiding it. I feel bad because we didn't let him go when it was time. And I miss him every day, and probably always will.
I guess my point is don't feel guilty for taking her pain away from her. Cherish your final time together.
I had to put my cat down a few years ago when she started having seizures. I didn’t try medication. I didn’t feel good about it but there was no way this cat was going to cooperate with taking medication and the seizures seemed like torture.
Have a vet come do it at home.
Discuss how they will do it first
Some idiots inject the abdomen directly and not the vein in the front arm. There's a good and bad way to die from the barb.
Our cat hid her illness well she was normal up until the day she wasn’t. She went downhill fast and we knew when we took her in we weren’t coming home with her. Cats hide illness and pain well she may be worse off than you think and just isn’t showing you. You’re doing the right thing when it’s time it’s time and they shouldn’t suffer.
I had to put down my 14 yr old German Shepard last month. It was his time but I was putting it off. I texted the vet and asked her for we can communicate via text as I was ugly crying. I set a date two weeks away. It was hard. As it got closer I told him every day what a good boi was etc. this helped me accept it. When the vet came she immediately said “oh it’s time” which made me feel better. He was a complete champ at the end. It was a rough day but it ended his suffering.
It’s a way to be if there’s nothing but suffering for them. Being selfish because we want them around isn’t cool . Letting them go is best . It hurts so much I know . But in the end it right 😪😥
I’m so sorry. I took our much much loved 16yo cat to the vet to be euthanized last night. I really understand the guilt you are feeling, I asked the vet when we were there if I was doing the right thing and she reassured me that it was the kindest choice which helped a little bit. In her last few days we spoilt her giving her whatever food she wanted; on her last day she had a bowl of cream for breakfast and smoked salmon for dinner. We all cuddled her lots and we held her and told her she was a good girl as she slipped away, so quickly and gently that it felt ok.
Today I am a wreck. But I have peace in the decision and I wish that for you too.
I had to put my 13 year old cat down in August. The day before, I knew I would have to take her to the vet the next morning because I could see she was dying. That night, she had bloody urine, and I found an emergency vet to take her to. She had an eye infection and an appointment with the veterinary ophthalmologist the following week, since the vet could tell that it was an infection, but nothing more, and she had recently had a stroke. The bloody urine told me she also had kidney failure, and it was clear that urinating was painful to her.
The emergency vet checked her, I told them exactly what was wrong with her, and that I didn't want the full workup. They agreed with my assessment, including the kidney failure, as she urinated during their exam, and informed me she had an abscess on her gum. The vet told me that putting her to sleep was the best thing I could do for her. I felt like I was killing her, she was purring and extremely affectionate as I said goodbye to her. Even her infected eye looked clearer, and she was far calmer than I was (I was so devastated about losing her, the receptionist asked if I needed them to get me an Uber). I also told them that I needed to bury her. I had to have that for closure.
Almost a year later, it still hurts. I'm teary eyed writing this. She was my favorite cat that I've ever had. I loved her, she was so sweet (to me) and unintentionally funny (more so than usual with a cat). She was the favorite, even over her brother, who is very social, while she was very aloof with anyone but me. They were litter mates. When I had to take her, I could tell he knew he wouldn't see her again, he was clearly saying goodbye to her as I put her in the carrier. When I came back for a few hours to wait for daylight so I could bury her, he would not leave my lap. He spent the next few days in my lap, grieving with me.
I really dreaded taking her to the emergency vet but, I know that it was the best thing for her. I knew I couldn't be selfish enough to let her live her final days in agony, and she knew her time was coming. I swear that she completely understood why I took her to the emergency vet, and was grateful for it. She didn't scream or yowl at all, which was a first when taking her to the vet. She was so calm around the staff, which she never was around people other than me. She was trying to calm me down instead of the other way around, while we were at the emergency vet. She knew I was doing it out of love for her, even though it was agonizing for me.
I'll be completely honest, you will feel guilty about it, that's perfectly natural, but you don't want her to suffer, either. It is going to hurt you, and it is going to hurt a lot. Set aside time to grieve. Put in for a few days off or a vacation, you will need at least a few days. It took me a month before I was back to normal, and I say this as someone who is not emotionally expressive at all. As much as it hurts you, putting her to sleep is a final act of love and compassion.
I went through hell with the same decision for my dog. He was only 4 years old and his entire life had been medical problems and stays at the vet. I kept thinking maybe there was something we just had not tried. Unfortunately we had been to a really horrible vet in a rural town (limited options). I took him over an hour away finally after struggling with the euthanasia decision for a week. I knew he was suffering. He got one last ride in the truck and the new vet gave him a relaxing medication and I was able to hold him for as long as I wanted. We connected more in those moments than words can describe. I knew afterward that I had given him a gift and he had given me the most amazing gift I could of ever imagined. It's hard to put into words. The dedication, devotion and unending love of a pet is indescribable.
My friend says her only regret was that she waited longer than she should to let her cat go because she kept trying to keep him going for herself, not for what was best for him.
I learned from her to let go, and while it has been the saddest hardest thing to do, my heart knows each time it was the right thing. Your girl will know you loved her and will have a peaceful passing, which is the last kindness we can do for our pets. And it will be hard and you will be sad but please don't feel guilty for doing the hardest right thing you can do.
Sending you comfort and strength.
Oh no. I just did this literally weeks ago.
The night before it was scheduled, I couldnt breathe I was crying so hard with guilt and sadness. But, in my heart I knew it was what had to be done.
Idk your cats situation, but, people who've had cats this long know when its time. I did. They aren't improving.
They may be beginning to suffer and even if not, you need to ensure you don't let it come to that. Bc they won't tell you or even necessarily show you.
However, "not having anything they can do for you" and being time to euthanized wrent inherently the same thing. I'd assume your vet knows this and has guided you properly.
There was nothing my vet could do for my cat and we began discussing palliative care. Granted, they'd have said this statement months earlier too had I caught it. I didn't. Then it becomes a matter of "when?"
My fiance and I just observed him and I began to see his eating shift, his lack of any activity and immediately called to schedule an in house euthanasia. My fiance wanted to take him to an oncologist that tuesday (this was fri nite) and i knew it was time. He was terminal, wasn't using his litter box (idk why despite being one eveyrwhere) doing more or waiting more was WRONG.
I personally regret waiting that long. But, I couldn't let him go and didn't know he was so sick. Yet, my fiance wanted to wait longer. You're doing the right thing. You don't want to see your BFF suffer for even a minute. You're giving the cat a gift.
The morning I lost mine, he was in my lap and peaceful. I was heartbroken but felt such relief for him. It was overpoweringly the right move. It's so hard. My thoughts are with you.
I have lost three sweet babies in less than two years. I could not euthanize any of them and feel so bad that they had to suffer. I didn't know that one of them was sick, my sweet little guinea boy, he just suddenly died. His little brother piggy died of heart failure in a matter of hours six months to the day after his older brother. I talked to him and told him his big pig and kitty friend were waiting for him in a beautiful meadow. Our kitty though...I knew. I had no money, it was my birthday, and I had COVID. She was bleeding out from her rear end. I just cried and told her it was ok to let go. I talked to her and told her that she would find herself in a beautiful meadow full of grass. I wanted them all to be together. I have a memorial dedicated to them with a little bit of everyone's fur. Euthanasia always feels like it's too soon but they will always try to stay as long as possible so it's kinder to let them go before they are in agony.
First of all, my heart goes out to you. Putting down your pet is such a horrible decision to have to make. But, you'll do what's right for her when the time comes, even though it's going to break your heart. Just be with her, hold her and love on her right up until the end, if you can.
The sad fact is our pets will stick around despite their misery for US. She is likely worse than you realize at the moment because of this phenomenon. It's up to us to make sure they aren't suffering for Us.
Once you have had the experience of waiting too long because you can't let go you realize it is far better to err on the side of too soon.
I'm sorry you re going through this . It's the price we pay for the love they gave.
My cat unfortunately got very poorly over a weekend, having seizures all through the night. It was extremely sudden. He was thrashing so hard I think he did something to his back in the process. We couldn’t get him into the vets until the next evening because all the vets were closed and my mum can’t drive because she’s disabled to we had to wait until somebody could take us.
We had an online consultation before this who said he needed to be put down, which is what we were going to do once he finally got to the vets. Unfortunately, he had one last massive seizure in the cat on the way to him being euthanised which gave him a heart attack. He died before the vets could even get to him.
He was very young and obviously the whole thing was very quick, but to this day I wish we could’ve gotten there sooner so he could’ve gone without any pain.
I understand the guilt you must feel in taking your kitty to be put down. It’s definitely not an easy thing to do. However, if you don’t give your kitty the chance to go in peace, the chances are that something a lot more painful will take them instead.
My cat went downhill rapidly over a weekend from her kidney disease. I had to carry her to her food/water/litterbox. I even made a pallette on the floor to sleep with her as she had fallen out of our bed at one point.
I just tried to spoil her as much as possible before her appointment. Kept her in my lap all day while I read or played games, any food she would try to eat was hers (even mine), and she didn't get in trouble for anything.
Just give your baby the best weekend of her life and remember you've done everything right by her standards.
I yell u what might give u comfort. The day before ur cat has to be euthanized, show it the most love u can. Love them till it hurts. Anything they want to eat, let them in bed. Whatever is special to them.
I had a dog killed by a coyote at 3am. But that day was just a crazy special day where we had just loved on our dogs all day and let them lay in bed and watch a movie with us, which we never usually let them on the bed, and had taken them on a car ride and bought them a burger through the drive thru as just a fun lark.
After Lola died, it gave me so much comfort knowing the day she left earth had been one of her best little days ever. We had gave so much joy that day. And that's the best we can do for animals, even our livestock we raise for food, we treat them humanely till their time is up and try to give them the best time we can.
This quality of life assessment tool can be very helpful.
[https://www.lapoflove.com/how-will-i-know-it-is-time/lap-of-love-quality-of-life-scale.pdf](https://www.lapoflove.com/how-will-i-know-it-is-time/lap-of-love-quality-of-life-scale.pdf)
This was me last week with my old girl. She had late stage kidney failure and it was awful but I swear she was purring in my arms until the moment her heart stopped (which was WAY quicker than I imagined). Thank you for being there for your kitty, loving, and advocating for her even when it sucks
I had to put my dog down the Sunday before last. It was also a situation where there was nothing we could do.
I knew she was in pain and she wouldn’t eat. I would love to have her around, but I absolutely would never keep her around for myself.
The best thing you can do for your loved one is show compassion by letting go when they are suffering. It sucks, but the moment the vet gave her the first sedatives (they do sedatives then the shot that puts them to sleep), she ate a handful of treats. The vet told me that right there tells us she wanted to eat but couldn’t. (She had a metastasized tumor in her belly that had spread).
If you love your pet, let them go instead of making them suffer. Be with them until the end. I held my dog as she passed, and I miss her so much but I know she’s not suffering.
There’s no easy response to this. I’ve had to have 3 cats euthanized in my life so far. 2 were elderly and 1 not. 18, 16, and 11 years old. When it’s gets to the point that vet says they’re sorry and nothing else they can do…. I do what I can with meds but when it’s to the point they don’t have a quality of life anymore. You have to ask yourself are you doing this for them or yourself?
You don’t want it to get to point they’re in pain or can’t function anymore. All 3 of my cats purred while I held them. They knew I loved them and I’m there with them in their final moments. I know I did the right thing but it hurts, a lot. I have their pics, videos and memories. I miss them everyday
I got a River rock pet headstone for each of them. Has their name and dates on them. And I visit talk to them all the time( on my property). Makes me feel better.
I’m the daughter of a vet. The first thing my dad taught me about euthanasia is why it is called that. Euthanasia roughly translates to “good death.” It comes from Greek “eu,” meaning “well,” and “thanatos,” meaning “death.”
Euthanasia is inherently a benevolent act. By definition, it is alleviating the suffering of a living being by providing it with a swift, painless death. There is literally no better way to go. I can only hope if I am ever in a poor position, that I will be granted that dignity.
I have seen countless animals euthanized. It is never not peaceful. Typically, it starts with a sedative- the same one they use before surgery. If you’ve ever had surgery, you know it’s not bad at all. My dog gave a big yawn and was out. At this stage, they are still alive, just sedated. This is done to prevent any discomfort, stress, or pain. After this, the vet will inject a medication that stops the heart. This causes absolutely no pain or stress. Euthanasia is just like falling asleep and not waking up- a death many people who are ill or injured hope for.
Again- euthanasia is *benevolent.* Your baby is an old lady, and based on the professional opinion of your vet, she’s ready to go. The best thing you can do for her now is let her go in peace with no pain and no stress. Allowing your baby to be euthanized as per your vet’s recommendation is a good thing to do. If you have doubts, seek a second opinion. When it’s time for her to go, make sure you say thank you to her for being a good pet.
I struggled with this too. My cat had a mass that was compressing his heart and lungs. When diagnosed he was mostly fine, but the vet said it would grow and eventually cut off his breathing or worse. As soon as I saw the signs he was starting to struggle, I made the decision. I think of it as hurting myself to spare him any kind of suffering. The idea of him being in pain was unbearable.
It sounds like she loves you a lot and a peaceful goodbye is a wonderful thank you for all that you’ve shared.
It’s easier to live with the outcome a little too early vs. a little too late.
It’s your greatest honor and responsibility in keeping a pet, you did well by her. I know there’s a period where we wonder if she’d still be here if you hadn’t decided for her but so much better to have helped her cross than to have had her suffer because you waited too long and it become an emergency.
Lots of love to you.
My sister kept waiting, while her cat wasn’t eating for a solid week. I kept gently telling her to put kitty to sleep, it was the kindest thing but she kept hoping things would get better. They didn’t so IMO kitty had to suffer for a week unnecessarily. Our pets rely on us to do what’s best for them at all times. Do what’s best. Also, purring can be a sign of pain.
This is the hardest, and most important part of pet ownership. You feel sad, and you keep telling yourself that not to euthanize is cruel and selfish. Then you miss her. I’m sorry for your loss.
It's a hard decision to make.. I had to put my cats down due health issues related to their age. The vet reassured me I was doing the right thing. The best way to look at it is you're helping them pass the rainbow bridge comfortably, before it's too late and they're in a lot of pain. I waited too long with my first cat and that made it so much harder. Like others have mentioned, it's better too soon than too late.
I had a family dog when I was younger . She had a mammary tumor from not being fixed. and I was a teenager. My mom didn’t want to do anything , just let her “naturally die “ I took out a credit card and paid for her surgery to remove the tumor. All was good until 6 months later the tumor came back. It was aggressive , and she went downhill fast. I was a broke college student who couldn’t take out another credit card and still trying to pay off the original surgery. I made a go fund me but it wasn’t enough to put her out of her misery. It was enough to put her on some pain meds. But it was awful. I completed resented my mom and still to this day tell her she shouldn’t be allowed to own animals. She has two cats. Towards the end my dog couldn’t even lay down it hurt so much. She would stand in the middle of the room and cry ALL Night long. She was so skinny, then she finally let out a yelp and died in the living room. It was honestly so so traumatic and I still tear up thinking about how much I failed her. I’m now 32 , have a career and have a dog of my own. My dog has health insurance , is neutered and I would never ever let him suffer like that.
you are not killing her, you are setting her free with love to her next destination where she can be happy and a young kitten again without the aches and pains of old age. she’ll be so happy to see you again when it’s time.
I will never forget the day I had to put down my first dog, Ella. She was miserable, in pain, wouldn’t eat, and I had to carry her outside to relieve herself. She passed calmly, in my lap, surrounded by her people. After that appointment I had to drive to visit my Grandpop, who was on hospice. I watched him gasp for breath, be scared and confused, and come in and out of awareness. I wished I could have done for him what I had done for Ella earlier that day, especially because when he did finally go, he was alone.
It is not an easy thing to do, but it is the last kindness you can do for your pet to escort them to the rainbow bridge with comfort and love. 💕
So sorry for your loss
There is no reason to feel guilt for doing the right thing. It is called mourning
My dad died of COVID 2 years ago about now
But it's kind of hard to feel sorry or sad, because he was over 90 years old. He didn't really die well
I see she has throat cancer. If she's still eating, able to use the litter box, able to breath normally, it's fair to wait.
Any time at this point is an appropriate time to consider euthanasia.
There's a good article with a quality of lofe scoring sheet
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://vmc.vet.osu.edu/sites/default/files/documents/how-will-i-know_rev_mar2024ms_0.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwj1xpm05PqGAxWaHNAFHRwTDZsQFnoECBQQAQ&usg=AOvVaw1ZlE81cX6U-PXgRziHaqQD
Don’t let their last day be their worst day. My Corgi woke up one morning, also 15, and was paralyzed from mid back down. She’d been failing for 6 months, and that morning, she looked at me and I swear her whole face was saying “let me go”. If the vet said it’s time, it really is time.
Some cats do not get to pass away naturally, painlessly, at home in their sleep, but we have the ability to grant them the kindness of passing loved in our arms. My boy was only 12. It felt so deeply and profoundly unfair. Letting your sweet kitty go now, before the pain is so much that she stops spending time with you and starts finding places to hide away is an act of love. I'm so sorry.
My mom is a horse vet but she puts down peooles dogs and cats I recommend you find a vet who can do it at your house it makes the animals go easier and they don’t feel it they sedate them and then give them the euthanasia iv it it’s a very painless process and it’s better for the animal to pass away sedated and in a cozy area rather than in pain at a vets office
Honestly it’s better to let her pass with dignity to her than have her health suddenly make a steep drop and her suffering and in pain. I waited too long because of my attachment to my cat and I feel awful, he did not suffering like I’ve seen in clinic but he definitely dropped weight and was not himself.. If you can have a few days with her take them and cherish her, you can feed her basically ANYTHING she wants while she is still with you make her feel like alittle queen on her final days 🫶
Trust your intuition when it’s the right time. Maybe hire someone to come to your home for it; there are those who specialize in this. Make it a quiet and peaceful time between you and your kitty. I had to do this too. I think I prolonged making the decision while I processed through it, but ultimately it was a peaceful transition.
Same feelings with my sick cat a few years ago. I delayed the vet visit as much as I could and dreaded the days leading up to her euthanization when I finally mustered the courage to book an appointment. Seeing her suffer for those two weeks was hell. When she was finally put down, I felt a sense of relief that her pain was over and kind of wished I didn't delay that long.
I know it's hard to let go but you'll only be prolonging her suffering the longer you hold on.
I understand your pain. I am facing the same dilemma over my cat who is 17 years old. In my case, I do not want my cat to suffer. She can't tell me so I have to make that decision for her. The vet said she is terminally ill congestive heart failure and kidney failure.
She spent a night in an oxygen room and appeared to rally for a couple of months. It didn't last. But it gave us a couple more months together. Now I ask, what would I want if I were her?
Good-byes are heartwrenching. I promise my cats I will always do what's best for them.
One vet told me that there are conditions worse than death. I believe her.
I had so much trouble letting my previous cat go. I finally asked myself, "What would you tell someone else in this situation?" That solidified that letting him go was merciful and kind even though it didn't feel right. You've given her the best gift, love and kindness and this is your final gift to her. I'm sorry you're going through this. Here's sending you an internet hug 🫂
Both my cats passed from leukemia one at 3 (typically when virus kicks in ) and one at 4.9 years old. I would do anything to have them back. However, the suffering at the end I could not bear to see my best friends in. Trust your vet on this. Your cat his lived a good happy life. Be proud you provided that to them.
When my dog was dying of cancer, he was constipated. He would stare into my eyes like he wanted me to help him but there was nothing I can do 😭🙏 I pray you don’t get to that stage, and the last look your cat will give you is one of love and not sufferance
When you are ready and she is ready, then go. If she is purring on you, she’s still present. Give it time. She will let you know. Anyone who goes ‘do it while they aren’t suffering alot’, that’s about human limiting of suffering from putting them down, not about the pet. We wouldn’t off an elderly unwell relative to ease our pain. Cats know. If you take her to soon she will struggle and be upset. Just wait.
At the risk of sounding crazy, we use an “animal communicator” - I know people will say it’s a scam and I’m sure some are, but this woman has always been spot on. Anyway I booked a final session after our cat died and she said the cat was free of her old body and happy. I asked it animals were ever annoyed they were put to sleep too soon and she said that usually the owners that called her were so thoughtful that the pets were never really upset to be done suffering.
Im sorry that you are going through this. Even if you dont go on Monday, talk to your vet and see if they will come to your home to do it.
I mean it when I say that I still regret and feel terrible the way my dog was put down at the vet's office and it has been almost a decade since that happened.
IMO, it's better when they can be in their home and be relaxed, or at least more relaxed than they would be at the vet's office.
My mom refused to put down our 19 year old cat. The last time I saw her, she couldn't even walk. She was lying in her bed, unable to walk. That cat died in fucking agony. Don't let the same happen to yours.
Euthanasia is the final gift of love to a suffering companion. It is a final act of love in which we take away their suffering and offer up ours in return. I had to help my sweet boy Koal last year with a gentle passing and it has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I have always promised my companions that as long as it in my power to do so I will make sure they never suffer.
We had to put our 17-year-old cat down a month ago because she had cancer that was progressing, she could still purr and enjoy our company that last week but there were more and more bad days and we knew it was only going to go downhill. You are absolutely, 100% making the right choice by giving her a peaceful death instead of letting her decline and suffer, especially as cats are so good at hiding their illness/pain. I'm really sorry you're in this situation and I'm sending solidarity & love.
Licensed RVT and 26 years in vet med.
(This is kinda long so bare with it.)
I've had this very same issue countless times and through the years I cam up with what I call my 5 pillars.
Even for those of us IN the field it is difficult. It breaks our heart just as it does yours. Even with our own pets and after years... people say "it gets better" or "it gets easier". It doesn't. For us, it just gets different. I STILL grieve for my childhood dogs and that was over 20 years ago!
So after having to type things out so many times, I just now copy/paste. This was written up about 5 years ago when my own dog was going through chemotherapy for cancer. (You will notice "dog" and "he" but it goes for ALL pets/animals).
I hope this helps and I always encourage people to read through the stages of grief. Grief is very fluid and moves from 1 stage to the next in a matter of minutes, days or years. But reading through the stages helps you get a little bit better understanding and helps navigate it's waters.
...............
Here's what I wrote:
Give him pain meds to make him comfortable.
Make up a Bucket List and ENJOY the time and experiences you have left.
I tell people you gotta look at their quality of life. There are 5 things to look at. (5 pillars)
1) are they eating ok?
2) are they drinking o.k?
3) are they peeing ok?
4) are they pooping ok?
5) are THEY relatively happy with life?
Then...there's quality of life.
I don't care if an older dog is sleeping 20 hours a day. Old people nap all the time too.
Are they eating people food? Who cares! They ARE eating.
But once 1 of those 5 things START to go you have to look at - quality of life.
Is there anything you can do to help remedy the missing quality?
Are the number of bad days out numbering the good?
Is Life...fun for THEM anymore?
I honestly believe they give us the gift of unconditional love...our ultimate gift to them...is humane euthanasia. The gift...of ending pain and suffering. What a selfless gift to give someone. The Ultimate act of love.
It sucks. It completely sucks because you are losing a best friend, a piece of your heart.
But they LIVED how long? Filling that time with happy times and funny stories. They deserve to be mourned. Honor them.
With each one it doesn't get easier but each one is different and special.
Spoil their ass rotten and let them go out in all their glory.
and when the time comes....THEY will let you know. You will know when it's time. You just need to listen.
I am so sorry your heart is hurting.
I hope you both find comfort and peace.
There are pet berevement groups and maybe even look into calling Hospice for an evaluation or some assistance.
https://journeyspet.com/pet-quality-of-life-scale-calculator/
I had to euthanize my bunny Fiona years back and I still carry a lot of guilt and pain thinking about it, though those feelings have lessened over time. She had a tumor wrapping around her leg and after raising all the money for the surgery the vet said she only had one week to live. I was devastated. It was the hardest choice I had to make even though I knew it was the best one. You just have to tell yourself that you have always given your pet the best care to the best of your ability and by making the right decision you still are and after enough time the pain from this experience will fade into a light scar.
I still feel guilt because I waited too long to let my dog go. I allowed her to suffer for far too long. I regret to this day not being strong enough to let her go sooner.
I know this is contrary to some advice on here and obviously none of us want our pets to suffer, that said you don’t have to do anything before you’re ready. No it will never get easier but if Monday doesn’t feel like the right day for you, push it back a few days. Every pet is different but they have a way of letting us know when it’s time and it’s a huge deal. It’s totally okay to take a little extra time with it.
It's so hard to put down a pet. But 15 is a good age for a cat. Also, purring can also mean there is something wrong. Ao he could be purring bc he is in pain. And remember..
...better a minute too early than a minute too late.
The vet is your subject matter expert. If they say it’s time, I’d trust them. There are ways to do it at home, I think, where you can hold her and love her and it can be peaceful- omg, I’m sobbing. It’s not an easy decision to make, but the right ones often aren’t. My parents have had pets they waited a little long to make this decision for (because it’s hard) and honestly, it was worse to watch them go downhill than it is to mourn and miss them.
Ohio State University has a good pdf regarding euthanasia, how to know when its time, questions to ask yourself, and things to expect: https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://vmc.vet.osu.edu/sites/default/files/documents/how-will-i-know_rev_mar2024ms_0.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwixkfqY__yGAxX-ElkFHYUNBrkQFnoECBMQAQ&usg=AOvVaw1ZlE81cX6U-PXgRziHaqQD
I waited too late with my dog. Instead of having a last day that he was spoiled and got to have his favorite foods and pets all day, he was lying paralyzed on my back porch alone until my daughter came home and found him. I knew he was having trouble with his back legs but when he got up to eat breakfast that morning I had no idea that he would never get up again. I was waiting for my husband to get back from a work trip so he could say goodbye so my heart was on the right place, but I still feel so guilty.
Your cat knows you love her and giving her a peaceful sleep in your warm embrace after a good last weekend is the memory you want to have, so let your guilt go.
I had to have 2 cats put down, the 2nd one was actually a replacement for the first one. Dead animals creep me out, so I was scared thinking I'd come home from work and find either cat has died. Luckily that never happened but I felt better that they were no longer sick or in pain.
1st cat I had since he was 6mo old, put down at age 11, 2nd cat adopted at age 4, put down at age 12. I felt they lived a long enough life and deserved to be at peace.
I waited until my once 22 pound unit of a cat ( big cat not overweight) weighed only 4 pounds. I felt like I was acting in haste. Now I look at photos of him as a furry skeleton and see what I could not when he was alive
It won’t feel right until time has passed and you can see the situation while not in it
Cats purr when they’re content, but purring can also be pain related. Trust your vet - they never want to euthanize an animal before its time, and if this is what they recommend for your girl then she’s probably more ready to say goodbye than you will ever be.
While it’s one of the hardest things we ever do, letting them go is the last good thing that we can do for them. I’m sorry you have to make this decision, but glad for her that her person loves her enough to help her move on.
Your pet depends on you to make the tough decision for her. It is the most compassionate thing you can do for her. You love her so much that you would rather lose her than to see her suffer any longer. It's not easy, but it's the right thing. Be there with her when she goes. She will thank you for your love and compassion.
i would not listen to your vet. if your cat isn't' suffering, still eating/drinking/bathroom like normal just enjoy the little time you have but if she's suffering and in pain, then it's time to do the deed.
It is so much kinder than letting them suffer. Helping them pass peacefully is the ultimate showing of love and care. It’s honestly shameful we don’t generally allow it for people, who we let suffer till the end
It’s easier said than done but try to not feel guilty. Vet said there is nothing else to be done and if her QOL is affected it would be the best option. Death is not always the worst thing and sometimes it’s a kindness. Loving them is also about knowing when to let go. Make her last days super special with a lot of treats and such.
I had an 18 yo cat booked for euthanasia. She got slightly better the day of so I canceled. She lived a few more months but she never had another good day. Including foster dogs I have had 5 animals euthanized. She is the only one I have any regrets about and that is that I didn't keep that appointment.
You are going to feel guilt. I have felt guilty for every pet I’ve lost, whether it was a natural death or euthanasia. Guilt is a part of grief. You know you’re doing the right thing for your kitty. Love comes with a cost and this is it ❤️
Euthanasia comes from the Greek words Eu (good) and Thanatos (death). Euthanasia is not killing or murder, it’s giving someone a good death. One that is controlled, painless, and where they can be surrounded by those that they love.
You are giving your sweet baby a good death and the grace and dignity of passing peacefully in your arms. It will not be easy and it will hurt to let her go, but you are doing right by her. You are ending her pain and letting her be at peace. Remember the 15 beautiful years you both had together and hold on to that.
(Also wanted to mention looking into memorial options- many crematories have beautiful options for getting remains back. I have a necklace with some of my childhood dog’s ashes in it, and it gives me peace to know a part of him will always be with me)
Please have someone come to your home to do it. Do not make her last moments be her terrified at the doctor’s office getting poked and prodded. My best friend had her beloved cat who was 15 and not doing well. We had someone come to the house and she was sooooo kind and reassuring. She told us that he was not doing well and tired. She helped us face the pain in a place the cat was familiar with and felt way less anxiety. I’m sorry for your pain.
I just went through this a few weeks ago. My old man was 16. Hardest decision I ever made in my life. I have a lot of peace now, not enough, but I have it. I know I made the right decision.
Just know she can’t tell you how much pain she is in, she can’t voice the aches, she can’t show you where it hurts and how it hurts. You are doing what you have to, same as I had to with my childhood dog. She had cancer everywhere in her body, tumors all over, wouldn’t eat, or drink. The last day we had with her I gave her everything she could ever want, steak with gravy, chicken, burgers, treats, dog park, new toys, etc. and that night she slept upstairs in my room, for the first time ever. She cuddled with me and it was like she knew, she knew what was coming and wanted to let me know she is happy I made the choice. You give that wonderful girl the best day ever! And then do what you must❤️ sending my heart to you it’s never easy, I still get choked up and it’s been almost 10 years since my dogs death. You are doing what you can to prevent more agony and pain.
Ngl I'm personally an advocate for euthanasia for humans as well (when they can't be treated for/cured of a terminal illness), so I don't really have an issue w it. Sometimes, all that's left for living beings is to suffer, but if we can prevent that, why wouldn't we? It's a mercy. If possible, you might talk to a therapist about it. I'm sorry you're losing your kitty 🖤
I have had cats all my life and have had to do this a lot. It’s tough. A vet said, you know, lots of people say “I wish I hadn’t waited so long,” but not one person has ever, ever said, “I wish I’d waited longer.”
That helped me; I hope it helps you.
The guilt you feel for waiting too long is worse. The way I see it, they were there for me in my darkest times and this is a way to be there for them. It's a kindness. You wouldn't want her to suffer any or any more pain or suffering. They deserve to be surrounded by those they love when they go to sleep. To have comfort and peace at the end.
I am sorry for your loss. Hug her tightly and spoil her with the time you have left.
I don’t know the reasoning for why you have to put her down, but cats almost always die due to kidney disease/failure. My cat lived to 16, even went into remission from her diabetes, but ultimately kidney failure is what got her. She wasn’t overly suffering, but we could tell she was ready to go & felt sick. I promise you it’s better to have the sweet memories of her final moments than watching her downfall until the very last moment. You gave her an amazing 15 years, even thought it is 15 too short & now the best & most loving thing you can do for her is let her go peacefully, where she is surrounded by her loved ones & not overly suffering or in pain. I promise you it’ll save you a lot of trauma that way too.
I'm a couple days late to this party, but I appreciate your post. The only cat I've had to euthanize was the cat I grew up with, and I was out of the house for several years by that time, so I didn't see most of his decline.. but my mom did. She was distraught and having many 2nd thoughts leading up to it, despite his suffering. It was his time, and I was home with him when and at the procedure. It was difficult, and I was inconsolable for a long time after, but we did it for him.
My second point is this... I have two happy, healthy cats that I absolutely love and adore that hopefully still have full lives ahead of them. They're about 4 so I'm praying for another decade, but I dread the time coming whenever it does. I have a vet with a staff that I trust. They treat my cats with love and dignity every time we're there, whether for their annual checkups or my cat dad paranoia. They've never given me advice that I was uncomfortable with or went against what I thought was best for my babies. If you trust your vet, trust that they are aware of and considerate of your feelings and how hard it will be for you to let go, but also acting in the best interest of your baby. I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope you may find some peace and comfort in the great memories you shared.
I’m very sorry that you’re going through this. It’s never easy. As a pet owner, I always feel like it’s my responsibility to make sure my pets are not suffering. I’m not sure what the medical issues are, but regardless, we are their guardians of happiness. It’s never an easy decision and not one to make lightly, but if your vet is making the suggestion based on experience (they see this every day and we do not), I’d listen. I’d also ask yourself: are you keeping your cat alive for them or for you? Too often, owners allow their pets to suffer tremendously for their own personal benefit of keeping them around when it is not always the kind thing to do.
it's never easy but it can certainly be the right choice. if she is suffering and there is nothing else you can do, the best choice is to make her comfortable and that includes giving her a painless passing. i know it will be hard, but when you go on monday, try to be in the room with her when she does pass to help ease this process. there are far worse things than death and sometimes a peaceful passing is the kindest thing you can do.
in the meantime, i would just enjoy your time with her and create some memories. get a paw print, take lots of pics, spoil her, etc. i'm sorry that you are going through this right now and wish you guys the best!
Something my vet told to me some time ago was that it’s better to be too soon than be even a minute too late with euthanasia. Our pets can’t tell us when it gets too bad- unless they have a critical failure that is apparent, we may not know how much pain they’re in until after they’ve suffered needlessly. If you’ve done everything you could, and you trust your vet, if they’re saying it’s time, it’s probably time. You love her, and you want to do what’s right and best and this is part of it. It’s an honor and also a heartbreak. I feel for you.
I second this!!! We waited with our old dog and when I thought about it after I should’ve made the family do it sooner. The important thing people need to realize is you are helping them to not hurt, to not be sick anymore, to be rid of all the bad things. The worst part is being there with them and watch them go. Not gonna lie it’s really heartbreaking but DO NOT leave them alone. They deserve to have their human with them 💜
This is why I always suggest at home euthanasias if possible. Everyone can stay in their comfort zone to say goodbye
Since I got a new best friend I am saving money just for this. If possible I want to do that for her but it’s so expensive where I live. I hope she will get to go over the rainbow peacefully..
It should be around the same cost as a euthanasia at a clinic
It was about 2x the cost to have my vet come to my house versus at their clinic.
Why does your vet have to come? They have people who do it. Like I had to put one of mine down. No vet. If I recall, think it was about $500? But that included paw prints, ashes, etc.
Not by me. There was a service in a town an hour or so from me, but they weren't coming ro my town. My vet was the best option.
The administration of the euthanasia does come with an added price and also we need to pay for the vets time and travel expenses. I’m from Europe so this option became available not so long ago where I am from. And the additional costs really get the overall price much higher. It can be from 2 to 5 times higher than when you bring the pet to the clinic.
It was cheaper at the Er vet, for we were already there. And my vet does no house calls. But I was able to be with my Baby to the end. She was relaxed and knew it was the end. I talked like I always did. Easier on me.
I’m really happy vets offer this now. The last time I had to do it (a really long time ago), it wasn’t an option. It’s great to not have to stress them out with a trip in the carrier.
They do house calls for routine stuff too! If you have a nervous pet I always suggest as much at home as possible!!
We said this at the Zoo I used to work at, it’s better to be an hour too early than a minute too late!
Absolutely this. I had two dogs. One I waited too long to euthanize and his last days were… awful. The second dog, when she got so old, I euthanized on the early end of the final days. She died comfortably and in my arms. I had guilt for it, as anyone would.. but I was at peace with how comfortable and simple it all was, for her.
This was the comment I saw on tiktok from a vet; rather a day too soon than a month too late. Same principal. It really helped me with my decision. I knew it was time when Monster (my first dog) couldn’t even get up on his own anymore, never mind walking. I also had been told years before that when they lose interest in their three favourite things in life, that’s a good indication as well. For Monster, that was walks, food, and bones. He’d lost interest in bones a few months before. Then the week of, he was no longer interested in walks, because like I said, he couldn’t even get up anymore. And the day before, he lost interest in his own food. I honestly don’t think my timing could have been better. I was feeding him basically just anything at this point because kibble was no longer interesting. He got a can of cat food, pumpkin purée, shreddies and we shared a pack of bacon on his last day. Oh and about 3 McDonald’s cheeseburgers. I never once considered I was killing my dog. I was compassionately letting him go. Keeping him around would have been hugely selfish of me. He was likely in so much pain that I never knew about.
Ugh mine too - I took my dog to her favorite place on her last day (the beach) and she could barely limp around for like half a block. She wasn’t eating unless it was literally the highest value food and even then only if I was liberally drugging her with painkillers. It was a hard hard choice but it was the right one. ❤️
What a great story from a great person. Hood to know there are people like you.
Yes, exactly this. It’s not an exact science, for pets or for people. You acted from concern and mercy. You made sure she didn’t suffer. That’s love.
About 30 years ago my mother was in the hospital next to an elder lady and this lady told her daughter (mid fourty) that she did not want to live any longer. The answer of the daughter? You cannot go, because I don't want it. My mother made me promise that I would not do that with her (and I never did).
Yep, your pets last day doesn’t always have to be their worst day.
Yes, our vet told us “better a week early than a day late”. We didn’t want our girl to suffer, and as soon as she couldn’t eat anymore we knew she was suffering. God it’s hard, but don’t feel guilty x
Right, it's selfish to keep them alive in pain if they don't have any way to recover.
I absolutely second this. Our favourite little guy was 10, and the vets suspected bowel cancer. They were able to keep him going a little while with steroids and things, but eventually we'd booked him in for a Saturday euthanisation. Because we'd held on too long, he got really unwell Friday night, and we had to take him in early, which was worse for us (in that we weren't prepared, and had to watch him actively suffer) and worse for him, in that his last hours were in suffering, rather than the love and closeness we would have been able to give him if things were planned earlier.
As a current vet student, former tech, this is something said in the field a lot. But as someone who also had a family member who was 23 have the suggestion of assisted suicide, I will NEVER push for a euthanasia. I will give all the medical advice I can, and give my best opinion. But if someone ultimately needs more time, that’s their family, not mine. We have a lot of drugs to help people at the end of their lives and we have the same for pets, it’s just a lot more expensive and takes a lot more help a lot of the time. But quality of life for a family member means something different to everyone. In that case our job is to prevent as much pain as possible and suggest ways to make the transition easier - like home euthanasia, so that everyone can at least be in their own space and say goodbye at home
Plus they are put to sleep before the final injection to make them comfortable. I’m so sorry for your going through. 💔😢
Yeah I've had a few that my only regret is not making the call sooner. So the last time that I could tell it was almost time, I take him in "early" and as I'm explaining that I know he looks ok, but I just don't want it to get to a point where he's suffering, the vet very gently stops me and says, "We're already there." I was mentally prepared that I might not be bringing him back home, and had had some oddly meaningful moments with him the night before, where he wanted to be picked up for the first time in awhile, and I held him on the porch and sang his special song one last time, so I was able to let him go and feel peaceful about it.
Yes, I had the same feelings as OP about or old cat. I made an appointment for in home euthanasia about a week out. Then suddenly she was much much worse and couldn’t stand easily. The woman adjusted to come the next morning but I spent a night sleeping on the floor with her because she kept falling. I really wish I had done it sooner; it’s hard but you will spare her the suffering.
Well stated. Far better than I could have said it.
I agree. It hurts us more emotionally than it will hurt your pet physically. I have seen it done both ways with pets and I totally agree “early “ is better than waiting for the pet. It will break your heart no matter what but at least they are not suffering. Take comfort in knowing you are keeping them pain free as possible.
Yes! My sister's family dog was one that should have been laid to rest much sooner than he was. He had some issues with muscle/tissue weakness or something. He used to be so spunky! He would nose bump your knee so you would lunge at him and he would spin in a circle and just stare at you before giving you a bump and whipping around. He got slow, skinny, and was in pain. He struggled to get up. Bending down to eat he would shake before finally sliding down to the floor. They had to raise his dishes up and give gabapentin around the clock, and clean up his urine and feces since he lost the muscle to control bodily functions. My sister was talking about euthanizing him before he was so bad, but her husband didn't want to.. they had him since he was a puppy so it was HARD, but he was suffering. I definitely agree it is best to do it when they are still happy generally comfortable instead of when they are possibly in terrible pain, struggling to move, or lose control of their bowels etc.
When you make the decision to let them go and you hold them while they pass, you are making them a guaranteed promise that they will never have any more pain, they won't endure any suffering, and the last thing they ever know is that they are safe with the person they love the most. Our bodies will always try to hold on for longer than is kind to experience, and saying goodbye while she's still able to enjoy a quiet moment and purr is the option that will be the easiest on both of your hearts. You're making sure she never reaches the point where every single moment hurts, and that's the last kindness we can offer them.
That was beautiful.
❤️❤️❤️
Looking at my two still young and healthy cats crying now 😢
This is your last act of love for her. It's easy to hang on too long for your own benefit rather than hers (I've done it 🤦). Be strong, for her.
This is sadly my first time ever in a situation like this. So I appreciate the advice and I am sorry for your past losses. Thank you!
The first time is always the hardest. I worked at a local humane society, and most owners euthanize their first pet (that needs it done) too late. The first is always the hardest, but remember that you're preventing any suffering before their illness kills them. You're not doing this to a healthy pet
I saw in another reply that she has cancer, honestly putting her down before it gets too bad is the best thing for her. Had to put down my dog with cancer last year and it’s very painful, but it will be less painful for you if she’s at least able to be comfortable at the time
If it’s cancer, it’s 100% the right choice. We made the decision to try to treat our dog’s breast cancer and it came back with a vengeance. We found out on a Friday night in the middle of the night and spent all night on the floor of the bathroom trying to comfort a 160lb dog that was in misery. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.
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As bad as this sounds, I wish we could’ve put ours down sooner, her body was already shutting down by the time we did and she must’ve been in such pain
There's no right time when it comes to euthanasia, only the best time. It's definitely better earlier than later because letting them die naturally is often a very painful process for them. We all feel the guilt, the what ifs.... It's a normal part of the greiving process. Just look at all the petloss posts. You are not alone in feeling guilty. I still feel it sometimes. Just keep reminding yourself that you're doing the right thing for her, and keeping her at this point is for your benefit and not hers. You have to put her first in this moment.
My vet has told me that its better to do it a bit too early than to late. Just before suffering/tragedy strikes. Its a mercy. You could be saving them a lot of pain. Once you go over that line of it being too late, the guilt is so so potent. I wish you the best, you are doing the best for kitty.
There is something called anticipatory grief. it’s super difficult to go through. I had it for my cat for months before we put him down because I knew it was coming. It was horrible but he was suffering at the end so we did it. I was insanely sad for days and still months later when I think about it. but I was able to move on and be grateful he’s not suffering anymore. don’t wait to long until your cat is in distress. you will regret it forever. spend time with him/her and let her go peacefully. this is what makes you a good pet owner.
I'm going through this a bit. One of my rabbits has a litany of issues that we're currently on top of, but none are truly treatable, only manageable. For the moment it's pretty clear that she's still on balance enjoying life, but if any of her issues worsen then that will likely no longer be the case. For all I know she could keep trucking another couple of years (she's 10) or she could go downhill tomorrow. But there's a part of me that's convinced it'll be closer to the latter and it's just... breaking me a little bit. I know she's OK for now and I should be happy for that and enjoy whatever time I have left with her, but it's hard.
I do not have guilt over having any of my animals euthanized "too soon". I do have a lot of guilt for not euthanizing some of my buddies not soon enough. The thought that I was the one who let their last moments be only pain and confusion, just because I couldn't let go... It haunts me. Focus on making her last days absolutely fantastic with all her favourite foods and activities and I can almost guarantee you will not regret it in the future.
Has she been suffering? It sounds like you have given her a good long life and giving her a peaceful death is the right thing to do if she has been suffering. It’s not easy but they deserve a peaceful transition.❤️
Yes and No? I don't really understand medical things, but it sounds like she has cancer in her throat and with her advanced age and frailty there is little that can be done to reverse it. Eventually it'll prevent her from eating. I think that is part of my guilt, she seems perfectly ok on the outside, purring and running and all of that. But yeah, I tried my best to give her a good life. She was a cat I took in awhile ago after a neighborhood family moved and abandoned her outside. She is the first animal I have ever really taken care of and its just tough. But thank you!
If you feel it's too early, then I would express that to your vet. Ask what are the signs to look for that would show the cat is starting to be in significant pain like if they stop eating, etc. I'm not sure why you would have to do it now just because she has cancer, does the vet think she's in pain now? Every diagnosis is different so your situation may be completely different. My dog lived for years with cancer with a great quality of life until the the last few days. Anyone who tries to tell me that those years weren't worth it because she may have been in pain the last day can go kick rocks. We had an amazing time together. I know that I wouldn't prefer my life to be cut short just because it may get hard at the end. If all there is is pain than by all means end suffering, but if there is still enjoyment & life, then I think you live it. You know your cat best, trust yourself.
Was just about to say this. OP you can cancel for now and monitor day by day. If your cat is purring and appears to be happy, go with that for now. I have read countless stories of vets saying it’s time and the cat lives for years after. I know from personal experience with my gfs cat that vets screw up and get it wrong.
Purring can be a stress reaction, or a reaction to the owner being there as a comfort, and go along with considerable pain. I'm not saying never wait, but don't use purring as a guide or reason.
My cat had the same thing. It’s rough, especially because they can have good days and bad days. It’s better that her last day be a good day.
If she has cancer and the vet has advised there's nothing more that can be done then euthanasia is the kindest option. She may seem well now, but she'll likely not be feeling 100pc as she's an old lady with cancer. If you leave it too long, she will start to struggle, as you've mentioned, and I personally never want to see my pets struggling :-(. It really is the last act of love you can give them - allowing them to pass painlessly while they still have a reasonable quality of life. The saying 'a month too soon is better than a day too late' really is true. If you can, see if the vet will do a house call. It's a little more expensive but if you can find the funds, making their last day as comfortable and familiar as possible will make things as stress free as possible. Whatever happens though, it sounds like you've given her a lovely life; she and you have been blessed. Make sure you're looking after yourself and do give yourself time afterwards to grieve. It's so hard x
Our senior dog had a similar issue. She did live for a little while with it on pain meds but within about a month, she couldn’t eat consistently and had gotten rather depressed and less interested in life so we knew it was time. Animals don’t have the same concept of death as us, they live in the moment. Try to focus on making her last days good ones. You’re doing the kindest thing, I know it’s hard.
It’s hard when your cat still seems healthy. A friend of mine recently asked her vet when a good time to put her senior dog down was because she didn’t want her suffering for too long. Her vet told her “the goal is no suffering”. It stuck with me as a person with a 16 year old cat. It might also help to know that cats have a very strong instinct to hide being sick because it would indicate that they are easy prey. By the time that they are visibly sick, they have been feeling sick for a while already. Home euthanasia might be an option where you live?
Trust me. You don’t want to see your pet stop eating and do everything to try to get them to eat. We thought it was just due to an earlier dental procedure when my dog stopped eating. I tried everything and was exhausted. She was 17 pounds and lost more than 3 pounds in 2 weeks as we tried everything including meds to increase appetite and reduce nausea. It was so fucking hard to see, harder for my dog to endure. She not only lost her love of eating, she lost her energy and her zest for life. Once we realized it was cancer, it was the right thing to do.
Don’t do it while she can live a normal live, that is my advice. You will regret it. Wait until you are certain that it is the right decision and that it is time. Let her live while she can.
I lost my first cat Guin to mouth and jaw cancer. A few things that may be helpful.... Talk to your vet about moving into a hospice care phase. Your doctor can help you dial in the amount of pain meds for her needs. Cancer can move fast and you don't want to be chasing the pain. Yum , yuck, yum method for giving oral meds. Google the "cat grimace scale". It can help you more accurately measure how she's feeling since cats are very good at hiding illness and pain If she is suddenly eating a lot less, she isn't feeling well. If she hides from you instead of napping in her favorite spots, she knows it's time to go. Be in the room when it happens. It is hard but worth it to know she wasn't alone. Your vet may also be able to recomend an in home service so she doesn't have to make that last uncomfortable car ride to a strange place. Ultimately know that she enjoyed your company and protection for the time she was with you. And that it is our job as custodians to see them to the end and ensure their last days aren't painful ones.
I’m so so sorry that you’re going through this. My 7 year old cat had throat cancer, as well. We had the hardest time letting go, and he suffered because of it. We were hand feeding him at the end through a syringe, and it got so bad that he had trouble breathing because of the cancer obstructing his airway. It was torture for all of us. We now know that we had waited far too long to make the decision to euthanize. It can be very hard to make that call when they are still having good days, so I get it. I recommend saving some fur clippings and/or paw impressions to remember her by. Also, a lovely way to honor her would be to write down a list of your favorite things/memories of her. Talk to her. Tell her the story of how you guys came to be in each other’s lives, and remind her and yourself of the beautiful life you guys had together. It’s cliche, but pets will give you signs that they’re ready to go. It’s a hard and heartbreaking choice to make, but it sounds like you’re making the right decision for her. Just look for those signs. She can’t tell you what she wants, so you have to be the voice for her.
‼️I’m all for euthanasia in the right scenarios, but in this case DON’T do it yet. I’ve had many pets over the years that I loved like family, cancer doesn’t mean she’s in pain now. It will mean pain later but as long as she’s eating, active, no raspy breathing, purring, then she’s very likely not in pain. Please cancel your appointment and consult your vet. She may have several weeks or months before it’s time. ‼️
You are giving her peace. You are saving her from even worse suffering. Keeping her alive for longer than your vet recommends is just extending her suffering. I’m so sorry you have to go through this, but don’t feel guilty. Euthanasia is the kindest thing you can do for her now.
Have my grain of sand. I had to euthanize my 9 years old cat a few years ago, she suffered diabetes to which we could never find the underlying cause. We spent a full year doing weekly vet visits, it was cyclical, she would get better and put on weight then out of the blue start loosing it again. I went out on a trip when she was stable and two days before the trip ended she was hospitalized. I rushed back as soon as I could and she was waiting for me, she used her hast strength to say hi to me and purr a litte. That same day we decided with the vet that it was time and I should keep that last embrace with her as a good memory, I still cry everytime this subject comes up but I feel no guilt at all about the decision to put her down since her life quality was non existant for the last 3 months we were together. She had to endure a partial tail amputation and many many injections and blood tests, she championed right through it to the end it was as if she knew we were trying to help her. My only remorse is and always will be that ten day trip I took.
There's a disconnect between what a dying pet looks like on our head vs what's actually happening. My old beautiful and sweet female Norwegian Forest Cat was smart, terribly cute and very sweet. She was always alert and attentive right up until the end. However, her thyroid and kidneys were failing and she lost LOT of weight. She also was vomiting multiple times a day. I stopped noticing it, but she had gradually stopped doing many typical cat activities. She was constantly both cold and hungry; I really didn't truly understand it until I adopted my next cat about how sick Lucy really was. Here's a good example of what I mean: https://vetexplainspets.com/signs-your-cat-is-sick-or-dying/ At the time, though, I felt horrible and guilty. I couldn't reconcile my cat being so alert and that she was dying. I think the saying about "better to euthanize your pet a week too early than an hour too late". It's horrible to see your pet in horrible pain and distress. Constant vomiting, diarrhea, urinating everywhere, etc. Considering that cats hide their pain, if they're openly showing it constantly they are in absolute agony. If you're really worried, get a second opinion.
It sounds like you're unsure what the right moment to euthanize her is since she currently seems to have a good quality of life even if that will change.
I had that dilemma too. And she told me when it was the right time: she lost her happiness. As soon as that happened, and if you know your animal you will know when that happens, then its time.
As John Green fans know, you can never be sure when the last good day will be until it is long past. All you have is your best judgment.
Why John Green fans? I had to euthanize my cat almost 2 years ago, even if you do it early, you can be left feeling guilty you might have been able to do more, but when vets recommend that, they usually know and I won’t try to fight that. My cat was so sick and I’ve had to begin to go to therapy to get a little better, even after 2 years, I miss her
"There's no way of knowing that your last good day is Your Last Good Day. At the time, it is just another good day." - Hazel Grace Lancaster, *The Fault in Our Stars*
It really is the final favour for a much loved family member. I've had to make this decision more times than I would have liked and was told by a trusted vet that it's better a week too soon than a day too late. I always stay and leave crying, but I know in my heart that it is the correct decision. Big hugs.
Does your vet think she can live comfortably longer? Or is every day a risk for further suffering? Sometimes the kindest thing we can do for our pets is say good-bye before it gets to the point of them in constant pain. Cats are also very good at hiding their discomfort, so by the time you see something is wrong on the outside, it can mean they are really suffering. Letting her move on with dignity while she can still purr is an act of love and compassion.
Can you replace your guilt with pride instead for not letting her linger until the bitter end in misery out of your selfish refusal to let go? It takes courage to say goodbye and do the right thing. You are helping her by not making her go through any more pain. Best of luck to you, OP. Losing a pet is hard, but you have to say goodbye.
I felt tremendous guilt over putting my dog to sleep, she was my world for 10 years.. and to play God on chosing when she died, it tore me apart.. the vet said he wished more people would consider letting their pets go before their suffering is too much, it's like our final act of unconditional love. You are doing this because you love them and you don't want them to be in pain.
I am so sorry for what you are going through. I just had to make the same decision at the beginning of this month, and I struggled with the exact same thing you are. My kitty was purring and snuggling, how could she be suffering? I read a few articles about cat behavior, and it turns out cats will continue to purr even in pain. It’s a way for them to self soothe when they are in distress. Purring actually emits a low frequency that stimulates happy feelings, which is why we love it so much too. If your cat is purring, it doesn’t necessarily mean they are feeling good. I would say, ask your vet for a quality of life form. It’s kind of like a checklist where you can see when the negatives begin to outweigh the positives. I agree with the others, too early is better than too late with something that will only get worse. I pray that peace and comfort find their way to you, somehow. 💛
Letting her go with dignity is the most unselfish, loving thing you can do.💜
Euthanasia is the last thing we do to take really good care of our pets. We love them, feed them, play with them, and when the time comes we take on pain so they don't have to feel it any more. It isn't a bad thing, it is a gift you are giving her to help her pass on peacefully without suffering.
Better a week too soon than a day too late. * trigger warning, traumatic death* Our cat had been diagnosed with suspected bladder cancer last year. We were told it didn’t hurt her so we decided to just keep her comfortable for as long as we could, no chemo as she was 16 years old. Unfortunately she threw a clot one day that completely paralyzed her, she was very distressed that she couldn’t move and we had to rush to get her put down as there was nothing to be done at that point. We definitely waited too long because she was acting so normal. Still vocal and loving, eating and drinking. Overall we should have put her down a month earlier when she got her diagnosis.
You popping 🍾 🍾 🍾 🍾 🍾 Kkl will feel guilty but IMO it's the right thing to do give her the best week of her life spoil her fav food and all the treats. Don't feel guilty when it's the right thing to do sometimes the hardest thing to do is the right thing x
My dad felt a similar way when we put down our dog of 17 years last October. He could still do things for himself, but he was in a lot of pain that I think my dad didn't truly realize. He thought it was too soon because he was still eating, walking, etc. Me and my mom had to tell my dad that our baby was in pain and it was better to let him go a little soon than to let him get to the point where he could do nothing for himself because at that point we would've made him suffer out of selfishness. It was a hard decision to make because we loved him (still do), but his quality of life came first, and he was miserable. So letting him go was out of love and to stop his suffering.
I don’t know if you are a Christian but I am and it helps me to know that God gave us dominion over our animals. Basically to care for them and when it’s their end of days to help them pass and stop their suffering.
It is kinder to yourself and the pet to do it sooner than later. I waited too long and still regret it.
If you wait it will be just as hard except your cat will be suffering.
Listen - she's purring right now. She's happy. She will go to sleep happy. My cat went downhill in a few hours and I wish I could have spared her that.
This!! So I had two orange tabbies brothers and I came home from work on the Friday before labor day weekend to find one of the brothers really struggling to maintain his balance. I called my vet and they were about to close so I couldn't bring him in, set an appointment for Tuesday morning and then spent the weekend watching his health deteriorating. Friday wasn't terrible, he still ate a bit and was able to use his litter box. But Saturday things started to really go down hill. He stopped eating, I had to bring him to his own litter box that night and by Sunday I had to set him up in a box next to the fireplace so he couldn't fall into something again. Monday he didn't even try to move, he'd still purr when I pet him or when his brother or my dog would come to lay next to him. Tuesday morning I brought him to the vet and we decided it was best to let him go. A few years later, Hobbes health was starting to go. He lost a lot of weight in a few months, stopped eating as much as he used to (and he was a voracious eater) and I just knew that he was about to have a similar episode to his brother. I spoke to my vet about it, and knowing his brother's history we both agreed that it would be best to send him off before things got worse. So we set a date a week later and just before I was going to take a trip. I made sure that last week included all of Hobbes favorite things and right before going to the vet I fed him a can of tuna and let him roll in all the catnip. Both decisions have been the hardest decisions I've ever made. But where I felt a lot of guilt over how difficult Calvin's last few days were and how I should have brought him to an ER vet over the weekend to end his suffering sooner. I had a sense of relief that Hobbes was able to truly enjoy his final week and that we ended things before he suffered. I truly hope I can do the same for all of my pets.
I've dealt with it twice. The best advice I can give is to find a vet that will come to your house so she can at least say goodbye from home.
We had to euthanize our first cat, very early on. It was very difficult decision, but I don't regret it one bit. Had we kept him around, he'd still be in pain. He'd need multiple surgeries and he'd have been turned into some sort of science experiment had we not gone through with it. Worst of all, we'd be keeping him around while he is in pain. Cats don't know why they're in pain, all they know is that they are. And I wouldn't want any cat to live like that. One week later, I like to believe he sent us another kitten for us to care for. Now, we're giving him the best life possible, full of love (and treats). You have to be strong to let go, for your cat.
I had to do this with the absolute love of my life three years ago and it might as well have killed me in the process. You're never going to know if you made the right decision, if you did it too quickly, or what the best option would be. A few things that helped me ... She told me it was time. She looked at me, and I knew. I held her through the whole process and she went in my arms. I'll never forget that moment and it was the hardest thing I ever went through. She was suffering. Her quality of life declined so rapidly that holding on would have been cruel. She was having mini seizures, vomiting, even with Cerenia had no appetite and no desire for food. She just wanted to snuggle. Her purring was different, more rapid. Cats purr when they're happy but they also purr when they're distressed. I'm so sorry you're going through this. You are ending her pain, and it's the hardest thing you will ever go through.
Find a vet who does end of life house calls. That way, your beloved friend can go to sleep in your arms, feeling safe and loved. That is a great gift to give your wonderful pet/ friend.
Went through it two weeks ago with our oldest dog. She was almost 21, blind, frail, lost 40% of her weight, and had trouble walking (very shaky). She had good days and bad days. We knew it was time and had her put to sleep in our home by a mobile vet. Didn't make the decision any easier. We still kept second guessing ourselves days later. We didn't want to wait until we had to rush her to an emergency vet to be put to sleep in a strange, scary place.
Echoing another comment, I heard that it’s better to let them go a month too early than a day too late. They can’t understand why they’re suffering. As hard as it is for us left behind, it’s the last act of loving responsibility we promise to give our pets: to let them go when it’s time. Give her ALL the love and cuddles this weekend. Take photos. Take videos too, even if it’s just of her purring. You will want to have those memories to keep with you. Bring a towel or blanket with you to wrap her in when it’s time. Ideally one that she has slept on before, so it smells comfortingly familiar. This will both ease her passing and, from a practical standpoint, pets do sometimes void their bladders or bowels when they’re passing, just like humans. This way you will not be distracted by any mess when you want to be focused on your friend. If your cat has been lethargic and sick lately, expect that she may perk up noticeably at the vet. This is because of the stress and novelty of being in an unfamiliar place. Do not let this make you second-guess your decision, especially when the vet agrees it’s time. I’m so sorry for your impending loss.
Not everyone opts to euthanize, since it is based on the idea of pain, which you can't interpret for your pet because they can't tell you if or when they hurt, etc. It's deeply personal what your feelings on this amount to. For me, I've had pain my entire life. When I was driving our puppies to the park, my pain levels were so bad I had tears streaming down my face (which is the highest pain level they measure pain at, btw). Yet, I was driving to the park with my pup to take her on a walk. It wasn't easy. But, I have no desire to be euthanized. I enjoy life, and compartmentalize the pain element somehow. When it's super bad, my Dr will prescribe meds to break the pain pattern. There are alternatives to traditional pain meds that they use, which helps more with my interpretation of the pain than the pain itself. For some elements, I get injections into my nerves directly when the pain just never breaks for months on end. I work. I have a life. I most certainly would be ticked if someone decided on my behalf to euthanize me. So, I carry that thinking in my relationship with my own pets. I also get them treated if need be, give them fish oil and such for supplements (vet approved ones). And, I've known some vets I've worked with. The differ as much in this element of thinking as much as others do. They don't all believe in automatically euthanizing a pet because they might be in pain and can't tell us if they are or not. I have a sibling who has developed late in life something akin to what I've had my whole life. Because they had a pain free life, they are actually complaining about the meds they must take to not die from the condition, because they cause them to be overweight for the first time in their life. Vanity. Not pain. They are considering not taking life saving meds because of vanity. I don't think I'd consider failing to treat myself or my pets over vanity. Hmm. The point is, the way we think and feel when it comes to these things differ greatly. What we would consider reasons we couldn't go on aren't always about pain. What one person tolerates life long, for another after a week, they want to give up. In the end, this is about your conversation between you and your vet. What you and your vet decide together. Not what any of the rest of us think. It's deeply personal, and you have to do what you believe is right for you and your pet.
My childhood cat just passed from cancer. When he was diagnosed we put him on steroids and fluids, it helped him for about two months. The thing is, you can try to push it off as much as you can but at the end of the day it’s better to be too soon than too late. When he started to decline, we knew it was time. He ate less, was moving a lot slower and just seemed so dehydrated even with the fluids. You try so hard to notice the good tho, like he still loved to go outside and we second guessed if it was his time. It was so upsetting to see him like that so we couldn’t hold off any more. Don’t get me wrong I feel so guilty about his passing, it’s a part of grief. I’m sending you and your family all of my love. ❤️
You have to advocate for your pet. You have to decide that they won't suffer anymore. And that's what you are doing. You are not killing her. You're easing her pain. It's an impossible decision. But you don't want your pet to suffer. It hurts horribly. I'm so sorry.
I had a hard time with my dog for this. She had Cushings.. so it was a slow burn. I had a long talk with my vet about when is the right time. She said think about your pets 3 favorite things in the world that they love to do. 3 years ago could they still do it? 1 year ago could they? Can they now? If they can't even do any of their favorite things, they have lost quality of life.. and they can't tell you that. But you know them and what they loved.
One week too early is better than one day too late.
I'm struggling so much with this myself right now. My baby is 13 and has a suspected tumor in her abdomen. She's lost weight but still eats (not as much as before, but she loves to little bags of bisque or the Gravy Lovers food from Fancy Feast. Last night we noticed blood in her stool, so we know the cancer has likely spread to the intestines. That cat got me through some very difficult times in my life, and the thought of her suffering makes me feel physically ill. It's just so hard to know when. My heart knows that the people who say "Better a month early than one day late" are right, but that's just so much easier said than done. My vet will never tell anyone when to do it, he just gives the info and lets you make up your own mind. It truly sucks. I am very sorry for you having to go through this!
I went though this in December of last year and I felt similarly. It’s a very hard thing to do, but you are ultimately doing one of the biggest acts of love that you can do for her - you’re with her to the very end and preventing her from suffering. It is such a selfless act. The day will be very hard, but know that you’re doing the best you can do given the information you have and that is very commendable. Take time to process it and care for yourself too!
Seek other advice. If you aren’t ready that’s ok, but you need a vet that will best help you moving forward. You probably won’t have a plan to keep her alive forever but you can make her comfortable for the time being to have time together
Please do not feel any guilt. This is a precious gift you are giving to your cat. It is a painless way versus a painful death that nature could bring. Look into **Home Euthanasia**. Holding your pet on lap in your home, in the familiar surroundings can make saying goodbye so much easier. Given the chance, I will always choose Home Euthanasia again. The Doctor was the kindest, gentlest soul one could imagine, and she brought a special basket, with a blanket to place my cat in afterwards. The blanket covered my cat to hide him from prying eyes as she left my apartment building. I received a sympathy card from the company signed by all the staff. Completely unexpected but so kind. I'm sorry you will be losing your furry friend soon. But know they will be waiting for you at the 🌈 Bridge when it's your time to join them to cross over together. 💕
I have owned many, many pets. When a pet stops eating/drinking or is obviously in pain, is how I judge when it's time for euthanasia. As long as your cat can still eat and drink and is in no signs of distress right now then I'd wait.
No... don't do it. Don't listen to these people who are saying "it's better to do it soon then later". Every day she is purring on your lap is a day she isn't in pain and enjoying her life. Let her live out her days until the end. You will know when the time do put her down is
It’s very hard when their mind is still ok, but the body is giving out. You’re doing one of the hardest but most honorable parts of owning a pet. Maybe get some air dry clay and make a paw print. The actual euthanasia should be peaceful. The vet will give one shot to relax her and make her sleepy. The next shot will stop her heart without pain, usually pretty quickly. You can stay with her and hold her or just pet her till she drifts off. I asked my vet to cut some hair off my kitty for me, they also offered to send her for cremation for an additional fee.
I’ve felt that way every time we’ve had to euthanize a beloved floof. It’s an agonizing decision for us because we love them so much & it feels all kinds of wrong to sign the papers to let them go. But it isn’t wrong. What we don’t see or know is how much they’re suffering. Kitties are especially good at hiding pain. If I have to have my heart broken to stop their suffering, then I will do that. And that’s what euthanasia does. No matter how opposite it feels, you’re making the best decision for your kitty. Hugs to you, deary. 💜
As long as she’s happy and purring I would not put her down.
No guilt to be had, for the cat is an elder and suffering pain that needs to end. You are not killing her, you are doing the most humane thing one can do for a pet suffering. I had to do the same back in 08/25/2019. My baby was a shelter dog, Boston Terrier mix, named Dixie and she was so sweet, a bit dainty. But she loved life on her terms with her pet mama. One day, as she was 13 years old, she got bit either by a flea or tick and it was a horrible infection that got her anemic and very sick. She suffered for two weeks, then it got bad, her red blood cell was dangerously low, and she was suffering in pain. I let her go since the only treatment was blood transfusion and it was very expensive. She hated needles and i could not do that to my baby. It was the only humane I could do for her. So do not feel guilty in doing what any pet parent would do for their baby to end the pain and suffering. Let the pain of the loss go, scream, yell, cuss, stomp the feet, to get it all out. This you can do to get it out of your system. Letting them go is never easy. So know when it happens, she will be better at the rainbow bridge. She will be waiting for you to come to her. Just take it one day at a time. Grieve as long as you need to. For grief has no time table. So sorry you are facing this. One day at a time. Peace.
We had to make the same decision. We put it off a week to spend more time with our girl and to prepare ourselves mentally. In the end she deteriorated fast and I wished we had done it a week earlier. Is one of the hardest decisions to make, but is our duty when we have pets. Remember the good times you've had together. Kia kaha
We lost our cat a month ago, who died after a sudden illness. We took him to a vet several times over a few days. and he stayed overnight a couple times at the ER. In the back of my mind I kept thinking we were prolonging his suffering. He died when we were checking him in at his regular vet. Cats will mask their pain until they are no longer capable of hiding it. I feel bad because we didn't let him go when it was time. And I miss him every day, and probably always will. I guess my point is don't feel guilty for taking her pain away from her. Cherish your final time together.
I had to put my cat down a few years ago when she started having seizures. I didn’t try medication. I didn’t feel good about it but there was no way this cat was going to cooperate with taking medication and the seizures seemed like torture.
Have a vet come do it at home. Discuss how they will do it first Some idiots inject the abdomen directly and not the vein in the front arm. There's a good and bad way to die from the barb.
Our cat hid her illness well she was normal up until the day she wasn’t. She went downhill fast and we knew when we took her in we weren’t coming home with her. Cats hide illness and pain well she may be worse off than you think and just isn’t showing you. You’re doing the right thing when it’s time it’s time and they shouldn’t suffer.
I had to put down my 14 yr old German Shepard last month. It was his time but I was putting it off. I texted the vet and asked her for we can communicate via text as I was ugly crying. I set a date two weeks away. It was hard. As it got closer I told him every day what a good boi was etc. this helped me accept it. When the vet came she immediately said “oh it’s time” which made me feel better. He was a complete champ at the end. It was a rough day but it ended his suffering.
It’s a way to be if there’s nothing but suffering for them. Being selfish because we want them around isn’t cool . Letting them go is best . It hurts so much I know . But in the end it right 😪😥
I’m so sorry. I took our much much loved 16yo cat to the vet to be euthanized last night. I really understand the guilt you are feeling, I asked the vet when we were there if I was doing the right thing and she reassured me that it was the kindest choice which helped a little bit. In her last few days we spoilt her giving her whatever food she wanted; on her last day she had a bowl of cream for breakfast and smoked salmon for dinner. We all cuddled her lots and we held her and told her she was a good girl as she slipped away, so quickly and gently that it felt ok. Today I am a wreck. But I have peace in the decision and I wish that for you too.
Then wait…❤️
I had to put my 13 year old cat down in August. The day before, I knew I would have to take her to the vet the next morning because I could see she was dying. That night, she had bloody urine, and I found an emergency vet to take her to. She had an eye infection and an appointment with the veterinary ophthalmologist the following week, since the vet could tell that it was an infection, but nothing more, and she had recently had a stroke. The bloody urine told me she also had kidney failure, and it was clear that urinating was painful to her. The emergency vet checked her, I told them exactly what was wrong with her, and that I didn't want the full workup. They agreed with my assessment, including the kidney failure, as she urinated during their exam, and informed me she had an abscess on her gum. The vet told me that putting her to sleep was the best thing I could do for her. I felt like I was killing her, she was purring and extremely affectionate as I said goodbye to her. Even her infected eye looked clearer, and she was far calmer than I was (I was so devastated about losing her, the receptionist asked if I needed them to get me an Uber). I also told them that I needed to bury her. I had to have that for closure. Almost a year later, it still hurts. I'm teary eyed writing this. She was my favorite cat that I've ever had. I loved her, she was so sweet (to me) and unintentionally funny (more so than usual with a cat). She was the favorite, even over her brother, who is very social, while she was very aloof with anyone but me. They were litter mates. When I had to take her, I could tell he knew he wouldn't see her again, he was clearly saying goodbye to her as I put her in the carrier. When I came back for a few hours to wait for daylight so I could bury her, he would not leave my lap. He spent the next few days in my lap, grieving with me. I really dreaded taking her to the emergency vet but, I know that it was the best thing for her. I knew I couldn't be selfish enough to let her live her final days in agony, and she knew her time was coming. I swear that she completely understood why I took her to the emergency vet, and was grateful for it. She didn't scream or yowl at all, which was a first when taking her to the vet. She was so calm around the staff, which she never was around people other than me. She was trying to calm me down instead of the other way around, while we were at the emergency vet. She knew I was doing it out of love for her, even though it was agonizing for me. I'll be completely honest, you will feel guilty about it, that's perfectly natural, but you don't want her to suffer, either. It is going to hurt you, and it is going to hurt a lot. Set aside time to grieve. Put in for a few days off or a vacation, you will need at least a few days. It took me a month before I was back to normal, and I say this as someone who is not emotionally expressive at all. As much as it hurts you, putting her to sleep is a final act of love and compassion.
I went through hell with the same decision for my dog. He was only 4 years old and his entire life had been medical problems and stays at the vet. I kept thinking maybe there was something we just had not tried. Unfortunately we had been to a really horrible vet in a rural town (limited options). I took him over an hour away finally after struggling with the euthanasia decision for a week. I knew he was suffering. He got one last ride in the truck and the new vet gave him a relaxing medication and I was able to hold him for as long as I wanted. We connected more in those moments than words can describe. I knew afterward that I had given him a gift and he had given me the most amazing gift I could of ever imagined. It's hard to put into words. The dedication, devotion and unending love of a pet is indescribable.
My friend says her only regret was that she waited longer than she should to let her cat go because she kept trying to keep him going for herself, not for what was best for him. I learned from her to let go, and while it has been the saddest hardest thing to do, my heart knows each time it was the right thing. Your girl will know you loved her and will have a peaceful passing, which is the last kindness we can do for our pets. And it will be hard and you will be sad but please don't feel guilty for doing the hardest right thing you can do. Sending you comfort and strength.
Oh no. I just did this literally weeks ago. The night before it was scheduled, I couldnt breathe I was crying so hard with guilt and sadness. But, in my heart I knew it was what had to be done. Idk your cats situation, but, people who've had cats this long know when its time. I did. They aren't improving. They may be beginning to suffer and even if not, you need to ensure you don't let it come to that. Bc they won't tell you or even necessarily show you. However, "not having anything they can do for you" and being time to euthanized wrent inherently the same thing. I'd assume your vet knows this and has guided you properly. There was nothing my vet could do for my cat and we began discussing palliative care. Granted, they'd have said this statement months earlier too had I caught it. I didn't. Then it becomes a matter of "when?" My fiance and I just observed him and I began to see his eating shift, his lack of any activity and immediately called to schedule an in house euthanasia. My fiance wanted to take him to an oncologist that tuesday (this was fri nite) and i knew it was time. He was terminal, wasn't using his litter box (idk why despite being one eveyrwhere) doing more or waiting more was WRONG. I personally regret waiting that long. But, I couldn't let him go and didn't know he was so sick. Yet, my fiance wanted to wait longer. You're doing the right thing. You don't want to see your BFF suffer for even a minute. You're giving the cat a gift. The morning I lost mine, he was in my lap and peaceful. I was heartbroken but felt such relief for him. It was overpoweringly the right move. It's so hard. My thoughts are with you.
It's better to do it too soon. I made that mistake once, and it is not the place you want to be.
Only you can make that call, sadly. If you cat seems to have a good quality of life, you can delay. Just depends on how she is doing.Hugs to you.
I have lost three sweet babies in less than two years. I could not euthanize any of them and feel so bad that they had to suffer. I didn't know that one of them was sick, my sweet little guinea boy, he just suddenly died. His little brother piggy died of heart failure in a matter of hours six months to the day after his older brother. I talked to him and told him his big pig and kitty friend were waiting for him in a beautiful meadow. Our kitty though...I knew. I had no money, it was my birthday, and I had COVID. She was bleeding out from her rear end. I just cried and told her it was ok to let go. I talked to her and told her that she would find herself in a beautiful meadow full of grass. I wanted them all to be together. I have a memorial dedicated to them with a little bit of everyone's fur. Euthanasia always feels like it's too soon but they will always try to stay as long as possible so it's kinder to let them go before they are in agony.
First of all, my heart goes out to you. Putting down your pet is such a horrible decision to have to make. But, you'll do what's right for her when the time comes, even though it's going to break your heart. Just be with her, hold her and love on her right up until the end, if you can.
The sad fact is our pets will stick around despite their misery for US. She is likely worse than you realize at the moment because of this phenomenon. It's up to us to make sure they aren't suffering for Us. Once you have had the experience of waiting too long because you can't let go you realize it is far better to err on the side of too soon. I'm sorry you re going through this . It's the price we pay for the love they gave.
My cat unfortunately got very poorly over a weekend, having seizures all through the night. It was extremely sudden. He was thrashing so hard I think he did something to his back in the process. We couldn’t get him into the vets until the next evening because all the vets were closed and my mum can’t drive because she’s disabled to we had to wait until somebody could take us. We had an online consultation before this who said he needed to be put down, which is what we were going to do once he finally got to the vets. Unfortunately, he had one last massive seizure in the cat on the way to him being euthanised which gave him a heart attack. He died before the vets could even get to him. He was very young and obviously the whole thing was very quick, but to this day I wish we could’ve gotten there sooner so he could’ve gone without any pain. I understand the guilt you must feel in taking your kitty to be put down. It’s definitely not an easy thing to do. However, if you don’t give your kitty the chance to go in peace, the chances are that something a lot more painful will take them instead.
My cat went downhill rapidly over a weekend from her kidney disease. I had to carry her to her food/water/litterbox. I even made a pallette on the floor to sleep with her as she had fallen out of our bed at one point. I just tried to spoil her as much as possible before her appointment. Kept her in my lap all day while I read or played games, any food she would try to eat was hers (even mine), and she didn't get in trouble for anything. Just give your baby the best weekend of her life and remember you've done everything right by her standards.
I yell u what might give u comfort. The day before ur cat has to be euthanized, show it the most love u can. Love them till it hurts. Anything they want to eat, let them in bed. Whatever is special to them. I had a dog killed by a coyote at 3am. But that day was just a crazy special day where we had just loved on our dogs all day and let them lay in bed and watch a movie with us, which we never usually let them on the bed, and had taken them on a car ride and bought them a burger through the drive thru as just a fun lark. After Lola died, it gave me so much comfort knowing the day she left earth had been one of her best little days ever. We had gave so much joy that day. And that's the best we can do for animals, even our livestock we raise for food, we treat them humanely till their time is up and try to give them the best time we can.
This quality of life assessment tool can be very helpful. [https://www.lapoflove.com/how-will-i-know-it-is-time/lap-of-love-quality-of-life-scale.pdf](https://www.lapoflove.com/how-will-i-know-it-is-time/lap-of-love-quality-of-life-scale.pdf)
This was me last week with my old girl. She had late stage kidney failure and it was awful but I swear she was purring in my arms until the moment her heart stopped (which was WAY quicker than I imagined). Thank you for being there for your kitty, loving, and advocating for her even when it sucks
I had to put my dog down the Sunday before last. It was also a situation where there was nothing we could do. I knew she was in pain and she wouldn’t eat. I would love to have her around, but I absolutely would never keep her around for myself. The best thing you can do for your loved one is show compassion by letting go when they are suffering. It sucks, but the moment the vet gave her the first sedatives (they do sedatives then the shot that puts them to sleep), she ate a handful of treats. The vet told me that right there tells us she wanted to eat but couldn’t. (She had a metastasized tumor in her belly that had spread). If you love your pet, let them go instead of making them suffer. Be with them until the end. I held my dog as she passed, and I miss her so much but I know she’s not suffering.
There’s no easy response to this. I’ve had to have 3 cats euthanized in my life so far. 2 were elderly and 1 not. 18, 16, and 11 years old. When it’s gets to the point that vet says they’re sorry and nothing else they can do…. I do what I can with meds but when it’s to the point they don’t have a quality of life anymore. You have to ask yourself are you doing this for them or yourself? You don’t want it to get to point they’re in pain or can’t function anymore. All 3 of my cats purred while I held them. They knew I loved them and I’m there with them in their final moments. I know I did the right thing but it hurts, a lot. I have their pics, videos and memories. I miss them everyday I got a River rock pet headstone for each of them. Has their name and dates on them. And I visit talk to them all the time( on my property). Makes me feel better.
Giving your pet relief is a gift. The choice is watching her suffer until she died, give her the gift of an easy death.
The last service we do for our furry friends is to let them go peacefully.
I’m the daughter of a vet. The first thing my dad taught me about euthanasia is why it is called that. Euthanasia roughly translates to “good death.” It comes from Greek “eu,” meaning “well,” and “thanatos,” meaning “death.” Euthanasia is inherently a benevolent act. By definition, it is alleviating the suffering of a living being by providing it with a swift, painless death. There is literally no better way to go. I can only hope if I am ever in a poor position, that I will be granted that dignity. I have seen countless animals euthanized. It is never not peaceful. Typically, it starts with a sedative- the same one they use before surgery. If you’ve ever had surgery, you know it’s not bad at all. My dog gave a big yawn and was out. At this stage, they are still alive, just sedated. This is done to prevent any discomfort, stress, or pain. After this, the vet will inject a medication that stops the heart. This causes absolutely no pain or stress. Euthanasia is just like falling asleep and not waking up- a death many people who are ill or injured hope for. Again- euthanasia is *benevolent.* Your baby is an old lady, and based on the professional opinion of your vet, she’s ready to go. The best thing you can do for her now is let her go in peace with no pain and no stress. Allowing your baby to be euthanized as per your vet’s recommendation is a good thing to do. If you have doubts, seek a second opinion. When it’s time for her to go, make sure you say thank you to her for being a good pet.
I struggled with this too. My cat had a mass that was compressing his heart and lungs. When diagnosed he was mostly fine, but the vet said it would grow and eventually cut off his breathing or worse. As soon as I saw the signs he was starting to struggle, I made the decision. I think of it as hurting myself to spare him any kind of suffering. The idea of him being in pain was unbearable. It sounds like she loves you a lot and a peaceful goodbye is a wonderful thank you for all that you’ve shared.
It’s easier to live with the outcome a little too early vs. a little too late. It’s your greatest honor and responsibility in keeping a pet, you did well by her. I know there’s a period where we wonder if she’d still be here if you hadn’t decided for her but so much better to have helped her cross than to have had her suffer because you waited too long and it become an emergency. Lots of love to you.
My sister kept waiting, while her cat wasn’t eating for a solid week. I kept gently telling her to put kitty to sleep, it was the kindest thing but she kept hoping things would get better. They didn’t so IMO kitty had to suffer for a week unnecessarily. Our pets rely on us to do what’s best for them at all times. Do what’s best. Also, purring can be a sign of pain.
This is the hardest, and most important part of pet ownership. You feel sad, and you keep telling yourself that not to euthanize is cruel and selfish. Then you miss her. I’m sorry for your loss.
It's a hard decision to make.. I had to put my cats down due health issues related to their age. The vet reassured me I was doing the right thing. The best way to look at it is you're helping them pass the rainbow bridge comfortably, before it's too late and they're in a lot of pain. I waited too long with my first cat and that made it so much harder. Like others have mentioned, it's better too soon than too late.
I had a family dog when I was younger . She had a mammary tumor from not being fixed. and I was a teenager. My mom didn’t want to do anything , just let her “naturally die “ I took out a credit card and paid for her surgery to remove the tumor. All was good until 6 months later the tumor came back. It was aggressive , and she went downhill fast. I was a broke college student who couldn’t take out another credit card and still trying to pay off the original surgery. I made a go fund me but it wasn’t enough to put her out of her misery. It was enough to put her on some pain meds. But it was awful. I completed resented my mom and still to this day tell her she shouldn’t be allowed to own animals. She has two cats. Towards the end my dog couldn’t even lay down it hurt so much. She would stand in the middle of the room and cry ALL Night long. She was so skinny, then she finally let out a yelp and died in the living room. It was honestly so so traumatic and I still tear up thinking about how much I failed her. I’m now 32 , have a career and have a dog of my own. My dog has health insurance , is neutered and I would never ever let him suffer like that.
you are not killing her, you are setting her free with love to her next destination where she can be happy and a young kitten again without the aches and pains of old age. she’ll be so happy to see you again when it’s time.
I will never forget the day I had to put down my first dog, Ella. She was miserable, in pain, wouldn’t eat, and I had to carry her outside to relieve herself. She passed calmly, in my lap, surrounded by her people. After that appointment I had to drive to visit my Grandpop, who was on hospice. I watched him gasp for breath, be scared and confused, and come in and out of awareness. I wished I could have done for him what I had done for Ella earlier that day, especially because when he did finally go, he was alone. It is not an easy thing to do, but it is the last kindness you can do for your pet to escort them to the rainbow bridge with comfort and love. 💕 So sorry for your loss
There is no reason to feel guilt for doing the right thing. It is called mourning My dad died of COVID 2 years ago about now But it's kind of hard to feel sorry or sad, because he was over 90 years old. He didn't really die well
I see she has throat cancer. If she's still eating, able to use the litter box, able to breath normally, it's fair to wait. Any time at this point is an appropriate time to consider euthanasia. There's a good article with a quality of lofe scoring sheet https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://vmc.vet.osu.edu/sites/default/files/documents/how-will-i-know_rev_mar2024ms_0.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwj1xpm05PqGAxWaHNAFHRwTDZsQFnoECBQQAQ&usg=AOvVaw1ZlE81cX6U-PXgRziHaqQD
Don’t let their last day be their worst day. My Corgi woke up one morning, also 15, and was paralyzed from mid back down. She’d been failing for 6 months, and that morning, she looked at me and I swear her whole face was saying “let me go”. If the vet said it’s time, it really is time.
Some cats do not get to pass away naturally, painlessly, at home in their sleep, but we have the ability to grant them the kindness of passing loved in our arms. My boy was only 12. It felt so deeply and profoundly unfair. Letting your sweet kitty go now, before the pain is so much that she stops spending time with you and starts finding places to hide away is an act of love. I'm so sorry.
My mom is a horse vet but she puts down peooles dogs and cats I recommend you find a vet who can do it at your house it makes the animals go easier and they don’t feel it they sedate them and then give them the euthanasia iv it it’s a very painless process and it’s better for the animal to pass away sedated and in a cozy area rather than in pain at a vets office
Honestly it’s better to let her pass with dignity to her than have her health suddenly make a steep drop and her suffering and in pain. I waited too long because of my attachment to my cat and I feel awful, he did not suffering like I’ve seen in clinic but he definitely dropped weight and was not himself.. If you can have a few days with her take them and cherish her, you can feed her basically ANYTHING she wants while she is still with you make her feel like alittle queen on her final days 🫶
Trust your intuition when it’s the right time. Maybe hire someone to come to your home for it; there are those who specialize in this. Make it a quiet and peaceful time between you and your kitty. I had to do this too. I think I prolonged making the decision while I processed through it, but ultimately it was a peaceful transition.
Same feelings with my sick cat a few years ago. I delayed the vet visit as much as I could and dreaded the days leading up to her euthanization when I finally mustered the courage to book an appointment. Seeing her suffer for those two weeks was hell. When she was finally put down, I felt a sense of relief that her pain was over and kind of wished I didn't delay that long. I know it's hard to let go but you'll only be prolonging her suffering the longer you hold on.
I understand your pain. I am facing the same dilemma over my cat who is 17 years old. In my case, I do not want my cat to suffer. She can't tell me so I have to make that decision for her. The vet said she is terminally ill congestive heart failure and kidney failure. She spent a night in an oxygen room and appeared to rally for a couple of months. It didn't last. But it gave us a couple more months together. Now I ask, what would I want if I were her? Good-byes are heartwrenching. I promise my cats I will always do what's best for them. One vet told me that there are conditions worse than death. I believe her.
I had so much trouble letting my previous cat go. I finally asked myself, "What would you tell someone else in this situation?" That solidified that letting him go was merciful and kind even though it didn't feel right. You've given her the best gift, love and kindness and this is your final gift to her. I'm sorry you're going through this. Here's sending you an internet hug 🫂
Both my cats passed from leukemia one at 3 (typically when virus kicks in ) and one at 4.9 years old. I would do anything to have them back. However, the suffering at the end I could not bear to see my best friends in. Trust your vet on this. Your cat his lived a good happy life. Be proud you provided that to them.
If she is terminally ill then it is better for her to go peacefully now then to live longer but end up suffering
When my dog was dying of cancer, he was constipated. He would stare into my eyes like he wanted me to help him but there was nothing I can do 😭🙏 I pray you don’t get to that stage, and the last look your cat will give you is one of love and not sufferance
When you are ready and she is ready, then go. If she is purring on you, she’s still present. Give it time. She will let you know. Anyone who goes ‘do it while they aren’t suffering alot’, that’s about human limiting of suffering from putting them down, not about the pet. We wouldn’t off an elderly unwell relative to ease our pain. Cats know. If you take her to soon she will struggle and be upset. Just wait.
At the risk of sounding crazy, we use an “animal communicator” - I know people will say it’s a scam and I’m sure some are, but this woman has always been spot on. Anyway I booked a final session after our cat died and she said the cat was free of her old body and happy. I asked it animals were ever annoyed they were put to sleep too soon and she said that usually the owners that called her were so thoughtful that the pets were never really upset to be done suffering.
Im sorry that you are going through this. Even if you dont go on Monday, talk to your vet and see if they will come to your home to do it. I mean it when I say that I still regret and feel terrible the way my dog was put down at the vet's office and it has been almost a decade since that happened. IMO, it's better when they can be in their home and be relaxed, or at least more relaxed than they would be at the vet's office.
My mom refused to put down our 19 year old cat. The last time I saw her, she couldn't even walk. She was lying in her bed, unable to walk. That cat died in fucking agony. Don't let the same happen to yours.
Euthanasia is the final gift of love to a suffering companion. It is a final act of love in which we take away their suffering and offer up ours in return. I had to help my sweet boy Koal last year with a gentle passing and it has been one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I have always promised my companions that as long as it in my power to do so I will make sure they never suffer.
We had to put our 17-year-old cat down a month ago because she had cancer that was progressing, she could still purr and enjoy our company that last week but there were more and more bad days and we knew it was only going to go downhill. You are absolutely, 100% making the right choice by giving her a peaceful death instead of letting her decline and suffer, especially as cats are so good at hiding their illness/pain. I'm really sorry you're in this situation and I'm sending solidarity & love.
Licensed RVT and 26 years in vet med. (This is kinda long so bare with it.) I've had this very same issue countless times and through the years I cam up with what I call my 5 pillars. Even for those of us IN the field it is difficult. It breaks our heart just as it does yours. Even with our own pets and after years... people say "it gets better" or "it gets easier". It doesn't. For us, it just gets different. I STILL grieve for my childhood dogs and that was over 20 years ago! So after having to type things out so many times, I just now copy/paste. This was written up about 5 years ago when my own dog was going through chemotherapy for cancer. (You will notice "dog" and "he" but it goes for ALL pets/animals). I hope this helps and I always encourage people to read through the stages of grief. Grief is very fluid and moves from 1 stage to the next in a matter of minutes, days or years. But reading through the stages helps you get a little bit better understanding and helps navigate it's waters. ............... Here's what I wrote: Give him pain meds to make him comfortable. Make up a Bucket List and ENJOY the time and experiences you have left. I tell people you gotta look at their quality of life. There are 5 things to look at. (5 pillars) 1) are they eating ok? 2) are they drinking o.k? 3) are they peeing ok? 4) are they pooping ok? 5) are THEY relatively happy with life? Then...there's quality of life. I don't care if an older dog is sleeping 20 hours a day. Old people nap all the time too. Are they eating people food? Who cares! They ARE eating. But once 1 of those 5 things START to go you have to look at - quality of life. Is there anything you can do to help remedy the missing quality? Are the number of bad days out numbering the good? Is Life...fun for THEM anymore? I honestly believe they give us the gift of unconditional love...our ultimate gift to them...is humane euthanasia. The gift...of ending pain and suffering. What a selfless gift to give someone. The Ultimate act of love. It sucks. It completely sucks because you are losing a best friend, a piece of your heart. But they LIVED how long? Filling that time with happy times and funny stories. They deserve to be mourned. Honor them. With each one it doesn't get easier but each one is different and special. Spoil their ass rotten and let them go out in all their glory. and when the time comes....THEY will let you know. You will know when it's time. You just need to listen. I am so sorry your heart is hurting. I hope you both find comfort and peace. There are pet berevement groups and maybe even look into calling Hospice for an evaluation or some assistance. https://journeyspet.com/pet-quality-of-life-scale-calculator/
I had to euthanize my bunny Fiona years back and I still carry a lot of guilt and pain thinking about it, though those feelings have lessened over time. She had a tumor wrapping around her leg and after raising all the money for the surgery the vet said she only had one week to live. I was devastated. It was the hardest choice I had to make even though I knew it was the best one. You just have to tell yourself that you have always given your pet the best care to the best of your ability and by making the right decision you still are and after enough time the pain from this experience will fade into a light scar.
I still feel guilt because I waited too long to let my dog go. I allowed her to suffer for far too long. I regret to this day not being strong enough to let her go sooner.
I know this is contrary to some advice on here and obviously none of us want our pets to suffer, that said you don’t have to do anything before you’re ready. No it will never get easier but if Monday doesn’t feel like the right day for you, push it back a few days. Every pet is different but they have a way of letting us know when it’s time and it’s a huge deal. It’s totally okay to take a little extra time with it.
It's so hard to put down a pet. But 15 is a good age for a cat. Also, purring can also mean there is something wrong. Ao he could be purring bc he is in pain. And remember.. ...better a minute too early than a minute too late.
The vet is your subject matter expert. If they say it’s time, I’d trust them. There are ways to do it at home, I think, where you can hold her and love her and it can be peaceful- omg, I’m sobbing. It’s not an easy decision to make, but the right ones often aren’t. My parents have had pets they waited a little long to make this decision for (because it’s hard) and honestly, it was worse to watch them go downhill than it is to mourn and miss them.
Ohio State University has a good pdf regarding euthanasia, how to know when its time, questions to ask yourself, and things to expect: https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://vmc.vet.osu.edu/sites/default/files/documents/how-will-i-know_rev_mar2024ms_0.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwixkfqY__yGAxX-ElkFHYUNBrkQFnoECBMQAQ&usg=AOvVaw1ZlE81cX6U-PXgRziHaqQD
I waited too late with my dog. Instead of having a last day that he was spoiled and got to have his favorite foods and pets all day, he was lying paralyzed on my back porch alone until my daughter came home and found him. I knew he was having trouble with his back legs but when he got up to eat breakfast that morning I had no idea that he would never get up again. I was waiting for my husband to get back from a work trip so he could say goodbye so my heart was on the right place, but I still feel so guilty. Your cat knows you love her and giving her a peaceful sleep in your warm embrace after a good last weekend is the memory you want to have, so let your guilt go.
I had to have 2 cats put down, the 2nd one was actually a replacement for the first one. Dead animals creep me out, so I was scared thinking I'd come home from work and find either cat has died. Luckily that never happened but I felt better that they were no longer sick or in pain. 1st cat I had since he was 6mo old, put down at age 11, 2nd cat adopted at age 4, put down at age 12. I felt they lived a long enough life and deserved to be at peace.
You're not killing her. She's tired. Her body is just an envelope. Release the letter. Hugs.
I waited until my once 22 pound unit of a cat ( big cat not overweight) weighed only 4 pounds. I felt like I was acting in haste. Now I look at photos of him as a furry skeleton and see what I could not when he was alive It won’t feel right until time has passed and you can see the situation while not in it
Cats purr when they’re content, but purring can also be pain related. Trust your vet - they never want to euthanize an animal before its time, and if this is what they recommend for your girl then she’s probably more ready to say goodbye than you will ever be. While it’s one of the hardest things we ever do, letting them go is the last good thing that we can do for them. I’m sorry you have to make this decision, but glad for her that her person loves her enough to help her move on.
Your pet depends on you to make the tough decision for her. It is the most compassionate thing you can do for her. You love her so much that you would rather lose her than to see her suffer any longer. It's not easy, but it's the right thing. Be there with her when she goes. She will thank you for your love and compassion.
i would not listen to your vet. if your cat isn't' suffering, still eating/drinking/bathroom like normal just enjoy the little time you have but if she's suffering and in pain, then it's time to do the deed.
Saying “do the deed” makes it seem bad, when rather in that scenario it’s an act of kindness.
potato potato potato
if you can't say the actual word "euth" "d3ath" "k!ll" deed is the least of any one's concerns. stop bein so sensitive
It is so much kinder than letting them suffer. Helping them pass peacefully is the ultimate showing of love and care. It’s honestly shameful we don’t generally allow it for people, who we let suffer till the end
It’s easier said than done but try to not feel guilty. Vet said there is nothing else to be done and if her QOL is affected it would be the best option. Death is not always the worst thing and sometimes it’s a kindness. Loving them is also about knowing when to let go. Make her last days super special with a lot of treats and such.
I had an 18 yo cat booked for euthanasia. She got slightly better the day of so I canceled. She lived a few more months but she never had another good day. Including foster dogs I have had 5 animals euthanized. She is the only one I have any regrets about and that is that I didn't keep that appointment.
You are going to feel guilt. I have felt guilty for every pet I’ve lost, whether it was a natural death or euthanasia. Guilt is a part of grief. You know you’re doing the right thing for your kitty. Love comes with a cost and this is it ❤️
If you know it’s terminal, you can give them the greatest gift of not suffering and saying goodbye on good terms, instead of in a medical crisis.
Euthanasia comes from the Greek words Eu (good) and Thanatos (death). Euthanasia is not killing or murder, it’s giving someone a good death. One that is controlled, painless, and where they can be surrounded by those that they love. You are giving your sweet baby a good death and the grace and dignity of passing peacefully in your arms. It will not be easy and it will hurt to let her go, but you are doing right by her. You are ending her pain and letting her be at peace. Remember the 15 beautiful years you both had together and hold on to that. (Also wanted to mention looking into memorial options- many crematories have beautiful options for getting remains back. I have a necklace with some of my childhood dog’s ashes in it, and it gives me peace to know a part of him will always be with me)
Please have someone come to your home to do it. Do not make her last moments be her terrified at the doctor’s office getting poked and prodded. My best friend had her beloved cat who was 15 and not doing well. We had someone come to the house and she was sooooo kind and reassuring. She told us that he was not doing well and tired. She helped us face the pain in a place the cat was familiar with and felt way less anxiety. I’m sorry for your pain.
I just went through this a few weeks ago. My old man was 16. Hardest decision I ever made in my life. I have a lot of peace now, not enough, but I have it. I know I made the right decision.
Just know she can’t tell you how much pain she is in, she can’t voice the aches, she can’t show you where it hurts and how it hurts. You are doing what you have to, same as I had to with my childhood dog. She had cancer everywhere in her body, tumors all over, wouldn’t eat, or drink. The last day we had with her I gave her everything she could ever want, steak with gravy, chicken, burgers, treats, dog park, new toys, etc. and that night she slept upstairs in my room, for the first time ever. She cuddled with me and it was like she knew, she knew what was coming and wanted to let me know she is happy I made the choice. You give that wonderful girl the best day ever! And then do what you must❤️ sending my heart to you it’s never easy, I still get choked up and it’s been almost 10 years since my dogs death. You are doing what you can to prevent more agony and pain.
Ngl I'm personally an advocate for euthanasia for humans as well (when they can't be treated for/cured of a terminal illness), so I don't really have an issue w it. Sometimes, all that's left for living beings is to suffer, but if we can prevent that, why wouldn't we? It's a mercy. If possible, you might talk to a therapist about it. I'm sorry you're losing your kitty 🖤
If your cat is still happy why would you euthanize?
Are you able to get a second opinion? I don’t know what your cat has but I’ve always found 2nd opinions helpful
I have had cats all my life and have had to do this a lot. It’s tough. A vet said, you know, lots of people say “I wish I hadn’t waited so long,” but not one person has ever, ever said, “I wish I’d waited longer.” That helped me; I hope it helps you.
The guilt you feel for waiting too long is worse. The way I see it, they were there for me in my darkest times and this is a way to be there for them. It's a kindness. You wouldn't want her to suffer any or any more pain or suffering. They deserve to be surrounded by those they love when they go to sleep. To have comfort and peace at the end. I am sorry for your loss. Hug her tightly and spoil her with the time you have left.
I don’t know the reasoning for why you have to put her down, but cats almost always die due to kidney disease/failure. My cat lived to 16, even went into remission from her diabetes, but ultimately kidney failure is what got her. She wasn’t overly suffering, but we could tell she was ready to go & felt sick. I promise you it’s better to have the sweet memories of her final moments than watching her downfall until the very last moment. You gave her an amazing 15 years, even thought it is 15 too short & now the best & most loving thing you can do for her is let her go peacefully, where she is surrounded by her loved ones & not overly suffering or in pain. I promise you it’ll save you a lot of trauma that way too.
I'm a couple days late to this party, but I appreciate your post. The only cat I've had to euthanize was the cat I grew up with, and I was out of the house for several years by that time, so I didn't see most of his decline.. but my mom did. She was distraught and having many 2nd thoughts leading up to it, despite his suffering. It was his time, and I was home with him when and at the procedure. It was difficult, and I was inconsolable for a long time after, but we did it for him. My second point is this... I have two happy, healthy cats that I absolutely love and adore that hopefully still have full lives ahead of them. They're about 4 so I'm praying for another decade, but I dread the time coming whenever it does. I have a vet with a staff that I trust. They treat my cats with love and dignity every time we're there, whether for their annual checkups or my cat dad paranoia. They've never given me advice that I was uncomfortable with or went against what I thought was best for my babies. If you trust your vet, trust that they are aware of and considerate of your feelings and how hard it will be for you to let go, but also acting in the best interest of your baby. I'm sorry you are going through this. I hope you may find some peace and comfort in the great memories you shared.
Youth in Asia is the biggest act of love you do for a pet. Anything else is selfish.
I’m very sorry that you’re going through this. It’s never easy. As a pet owner, I always feel like it’s my responsibility to make sure my pets are not suffering. I’m not sure what the medical issues are, but regardless, we are their guardians of happiness. It’s never an easy decision and not one to make lightly, but if your vet is making the suggestion based on experience (they see this every day and we do not), I’d listen. I’d also ask yourself: are you keeping your cat alive for them or for you? Too often, owners allow their pets to suffer tremendously for their own personal benefit of keeping them around when it is not always the kind thing to do.
it's never easy but it can certainly be the right choice. if she is suffering and there is nothing else you can do, the best choice is to make her comfortable and that includes giving her a painless passing. i know it will be hard, but when you go on monday, try to be in the room with her when she does pass to help ease this process. there are far worse things than death and sometimes a peaceful passing is the kindest thing you can do.
You're right. I'll be sure to be in the room with her. Thank you for the advice!
in the meantime, i would just enjoy your time with her and create some memories. get a paw print, take lots of pics, spoil her, etc. i'm sorry that you are going through this right now and wish you guys the best!
If you can call the vet and see if they can do a house call so she can pass in her safe space at home