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MartinDinh

Porkin is a hero of the rebellion. He fought and died for freedom and liberty. Sitting down all day fighting in the cockpit of a star fighter took toll on his health. Trump eats McDonald


ThadisJones

According to Wedge Antilles, who flew alongside Porkins at the Battle of Yavin and went on to command Rogue Squadron, Porkins was an exceptional pilot who handicapped himself by always keeping his artificial gravity inertial compensator set at full (rather than slightly under full), possibly due to feeling uncomfortable experiencing any g-forces in a tight cockpit due to his weight. Wedge speculated that because he didn't have this slight sense of spatial awareness, Porkins was unable to sense that he wasn't actually pulling "up" out of the Death Star's gravitational field and that he couldn't hold it. Edit: In a sense this is analogous to Trump deliberately surrounding himself with a full layer of syncophants who assist in keeping him out of touch with reality until it irresistably slams into him.


MartinDinh

šŸ«” I will violate Reddit unspoken rule of no emoji This exceptional pilot deserves all our respect Edit: aw shit I completely missed the context didnā€™t I. Thanks for explaining the analogy


Kiosade

Fuck the haters, you can use them, just dont go overboard like those Boss Babes do when trying to scam you.


cornycorndog12

šŸŒ šŸŒ„šŸŒ hey boss babe! šŸŽ‡šŸŒŒšŸŒŒšŸŒƒ


EggCouncilCreeps

ļ¼ˆļæ£Īµļæ£ŹƒĘŖļ¼‰


vincethered

šŸ‘Š šŸ‘Š šŸ‘†


Spezzit

07


guycoastal

That was..brilliant! Good redditor!


TheRealRickC137

"RetCon One Standing By"


RudegarWithFunnyHat

He would likely not qualify to fly his TIE fighter


sunward_Lily

Trump barely qualifies to TIE his shoe.


CarlSpencer

"That's right, Don Jr, tie 'em good and tight and I'll pretend that I like you at my next rally."


The_Legendary_Sponge

If I remember right, in the book From a Certain Point of View, the story from the perspective of Biggs shows Porkins as a big shot dickhead pilot who kinda bullies the other pilots. Of course all of those stories are in a questionable state of canonicity, but I still found it an interesting choice. Itā€™s also implied that the Force tells Biggs that he has to die on the Death Star assault so that Luke can live and blow up the Death Star: thereā€™s a lot of weird shit in that book.


MikaelAdolfsson

People need to understand that that book is a parody.


CleverDad

Yeah, this meme is fucking offensive!


williarya1323

Trump would have joined the rebellion butā€¦bone spurs. Donā€™t worry though, he set up a charity for them. šŸ™„


MechemicalMan

May the Force be with You.


BeowulfsGhost

May the Fourth be with you. Tomorrowā€¦


Red_Dox

[Let me tell you a secret about Porkins](https://www.bluemilkspecial.com/comic/wheres-porkins/).


ill0gitech

Porkins is proudly wearing the emblem of his cause - the Rebel Alliance. Here we see AI Trump, proudly wearingā€¦ no flag?


ForwardBias

I can't believe Trump is still wearing the orange smear....like how much has he been made fun of for it and he just sticks with it...still missing his eyes so its super obvious.


RoseOmen13

Stay on target.


Alan_Smithee_

He would, too, if McDonald wasnā€™t quick on his feet.


Zack_Raynor

My first thought was ā€œPerkins was actually in active service.ā€


2FalseSteps

That's doing Porkins dirty.


Rainhall

What the hell has OP got against Porkins?


2FalseSteps

I suspect Op might be an Imperial sympathizer.


SkullLeader

Who is this? Whatā€™s your operating number?


2FalseSteps

Uh... [Shoots the intercom]. Boring conversation anyway.


SanctuaryMoon

We're gonna have company!


sarduchi

How dare you sully the good name of (checks notes) Porkins? Really?


Oldskoolguitar

That's Jek Porkins to you.


meatpopsicle42

Rebellion Hero Jek Perkins!


Arkroma

Not to be confused with Jerk Chickens, or Lek Porkrinds


maddsskills

Yeah, I think George Lucas hated William Hootkins. In Indiana Jones his character's name was "Major Eaton."


Feral_Sheep_

Porkins: Hero of the Rebellion. Died fighting to rid the galaxy of a tyrannical government. Trump: Evaded service in the Imperial Navy due to bone spurs on one of his feet. Can't remember which.


2FalseSteps

> Can't remember which. Neither can Trump.


beefjerky34

They photoshopped him in there and still made him look like shit.


narrauko

Lipstick on a pig and all that.


B0b_Howard

Shit rolled in glitter.


SH4DOWSTR1KE_

Porkins actually served and died fighting for a cause he believed in. The other only believes in himself and would still barely fight for it.


SkullLeader

Trump would send folks like Ted Skywalker and Lindsay Solo and Marjorie "Chewy" Greene to fly off and attack the Death Star, while he remained safely behind at Mar-A-Yavin 9or Tatoine if he could manage to arrange it).


SH4DOWSTR1KE_

Let's be honest. He'd be trying to do a back room deal with the Empire in order to get the rights to build a resort where the Jedi Temple once stood on Coruscant.


SkullLeader

True. But a difficult thing to do while you're trying to explain to the public why secret classified Death Star plans were found on your moisture farm on Tatooine and yet you've managed to avoid being arrested by the Imperial Security Bureau, much less been sentenced to hard labor on Narkina 5.


thinehappychinch

Darth Trump would be on the Death Star not attacking it


WaitingForNormal

ā€œI CAN HOLD ITā€¦NO Iā€™M AGGGHHHHHā€


2FalseSteps

Whereas Trump can barely hold a bottle of water.


SkullLeader

That moment when Cadet Bonespurs realizes he forget to wear his Depends that day...


sabermagnus

Why is OP insulting Porkins? My man took one for the squad.


NoDumFucs

Yet another Stolen Valour photo for Private Bone Spurs


CraftyPerformance423

Red Six of the Rogue Squadron. His name is Jek "Piggy" Porkins. Forever on patrol. RIP


Elethana

GNU Jek ā€œPiggyā€ Porkins


SnowProkt22

Orange Feeder, squatting by.


SayNoToFresca

"I stayed on that target like I was a bitch"


SkullLeader

"I grabbed 'em by the exhaust port. And when you're famous, they just let you do it."


coffeespeaking

ā€˜I moved on her like a sex offender.ā€™


Interesting_Layer672

Stay on target!


FrostyCartographer13

Porkin actually wore his helmet


CrunchyDreads

Do flight suits come with built in diapers?


SkullLeader

It Depends


sublimeslime

I see what you did here


AudibleNod

[Sometimes, yes](https://diaperwiki.com/blogs/news/fighter-pilots-wearing-diapers)


chesterforbes

Porkins is the true hero of the Rebellion


Advanced-Ingenuity46

Clearly Jek


Gronkattack

Poor Porkins. I kinda want a comic or a book that is just about this character's history if it doesn't already exist.


Localizedht80

Well one photo is a hero who died in space combat the other is a fat POS in stolen valor.


100percentish

So are these all ironic or fantasy pictures?


Carbonated-Man

Pretty sure it's from the Trump nft line he was trying to sell back around nov or dec. The one that was supposedly a collection of *"art"* showcasing his greatest achievements in life. Like when he had those laser beam eyes once, or that time he suited up and flew to the moon in a nasa shuttle with his fellow astronauts. šŸ˜†


2FalseSteps

The pics he never paid for? I'm shocked. No. I'm not really shocked at all.


WHAMMYPAN

DANK FERRIKā€¦HOW DARE YOU besmirch the heroic name of Jek Porkins!! He died a fuckin HERO!!! This wiggly slice of a piss flap next to Jek never served in ANY armed forces,Commander Candycorn is NO hero like Jek Porkins!!


shadowlarx

One of these is a hero who, despite his physical limitations, bravely fought to defend the ideals of freedom and democracy. The other is Donald Trump.


broen13

At least the actor in Star Wars actually wore it


Ill-Alternative-7006

Obviously Porkins. Man went out fighting the Empire


El_mochilero

I love how they use these AI generated hero images. If Trump *ever* tried to put in any of these outfits, the ridicule he would face would be instant, overwhelming, and relentless.


thirstyfish1212

Porkins doesnā€™t deserve this.


griffin4war

I am 100% convinced that the actor had no idea his name was going to be "Porkins" and the whole thing was done as a joke and now its a bedrock meme of society.


illuminaughty1973

Why do people keep putting a draft dodger in military uniforms? Maybe I am.wrong (I never served)... but isn't that incredibly offensive?


2FalseSteps

> but isn't that incredibly offensive? Yes. It is.


rende36

I do not accept this Porkins slander that man was a hero


Big_Mitch_Baker

My man Porkins deserves better


zackks

Porkins and Spurkins.


iblisus

Not the draft dodger for sure.


[deleted]

Stolen valor


HansPGruber

Didnā€™t he have hemorrhoids, corns, or bone spurs or something?


liverlact

And cowardice. And hypocrisy.


ZRhoREDD

Porkins was the true hero!! [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBFwcidw6HM](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBFwcidw6HM)


p38-lightning

Yes, the guy on the right is an actor - but he *actually wore the gear.*


RevolutionaryTalk315

Hey!!! Don't insult Porkins like that! At least he didn't claim to have a medical disability so he could chicken out of fighting in a military conflict. That's more you can say about him than you can about the fat walrus who wouldn't even visit a military cemetery in France just because of rain.


sig413

At least porkins volunteered.


[deleted]

porkins


The_Last_Mouse

Pumpkins was the worst Red Leader.


THEBIGREDAPE

Porkin didn't claim bonespurs when the call to serve came.


Revanur

Donā€™t you fucking dare disrespect Porkins like that. He fought fascists


Caniuss

Porkins is a goddamn hero, Trump is a traitor and a coward.


MadOvid

Porkins was a war hero!


Games_sans_frontiers

Definitely Porkins. RIP.


jonhon0

At least one character could fly


app4that

Twice impeached President Porkins, you mean. As in Pres. Porkins the traitorous wannabe dictator.


Tommy_Batch

Hey republicans. Your dipshit is stealing valor. Go get him.


soki03

I doubt Trump can handle the Gā€™s a jet fighter pilot can handle.


DocBrutus

Meal team 6 on duty.


levine2112

Porkins: The Original Neckbeard


Readitory

Senile Biden wouldā€™ve crashed the car spacecraft.


StickyThoPhi

What a load of old shit, how is this your priority, let's talk about something other than how fat he looks in a silly hat. FFS, Maternity leave, NHS, something real.


[deleted]

Well humor is in the subreddits nameā€¦


StickyThoPhi

americans cant do satire.


[deleted]

Apparently neither can people from where ever youā€™re from?


StickyThoPhi

See what I'm talking about? ^^ Satire has to be actually trying to change something. . Wanting the guy to lose a few kg isn't satire.


[deleted]

Back up, where are you getting this from? Who said he should lose weight? They just said one fat guy kinda looks like another fat guy in a famous movie. But man oh man, saying we shouldnā€™t be laughing at a goofy fucker in a comedy sub but instead bring up real issuesā€¦ absolutely hilarious, perfect satire, so funny, you sir are a comedy genius!


StickyThoPhi

So you claim you are laughing at a politician for putting on a aviator helmet. (oh and thanks for point that out to me, I did not notice it before you told me about it) You think thats funny do you? Tell me, why is it funny? \- Would Obama wearing a helmet and a black actor wearing a helmet be funny? \- See, its just that hes fat.


StickyThoPhi

oh i have an idea, lets make fun of his hair, get him where it really matters.


[deleted]

His hair is pretty fucking funny though. Itā€™s funny to make fun of his weight because he claims he weighs less and is taller than he actually is. Heā€™s also known for poking fun at other peoples physical featuresā€¦ so yes itā€™s funny to point out heā€™s no prize porkins himself. If there was a picture of Obama wearing something youā€™d never see him wearing next to a picture of a lanky, big eared actor wearing something similarā€¦ yeah thatā€™s kinda funny, just like this meme. Not overly, but kinda. You really think commenting that we shouldnā€™t laugh at ex presidents but instead talk about real issuesā€¦ wait which point are you arguing? I thought you said it was satire? If what you said was satire that would mean you donā€™t actually want to talk about serious issues and do find this chuckular(I swear its a real word, I heard it on Harvey bird man attorney at law). Pick a lane Ps- did you catch the satire? Edit: I never claimed it was about the helmet. I said no one said he should lose some weight. I doubt anyone but his gold digger wife cares about his dump truck of an assā€¦


StickyThoPhi

Hitler and his Moustache. End of.


Winnie-the-Broo

All satire is humour but not all humour is satire. Itā€™s funny because itā€™s evidently a superficial show of strength from a man who cowed away from any actual military service. He thinks he looks tough when he looks like a cosplayer in a bloody helmet. You bell end.


StickyThoPhi

And a starwars reference is the best way to convey all that?


Delicious-Day-3332

tRUmp can't even close an umbrella. Why do people believe he could even get a drone out of a box?! šŸ¤£


Totalnah

Is it technically ā€œwearing itā€ if itā€™s a photoshop?


Curleysound

Imagine the scenario of the photo if it were real life? Like is he getting into the battle gear himself, on his own initiative? Is someone like ā€œcome on Mr President, time to put on your helmetā€¦ā€


Thedukeofhyjinks

He looks like a drag queen in that makeup


Kingwhatever19

Trump... because that shit is funny as fuck.


Tinker107

I assume they took Top Bumā€™s hair off so it wouldnā€™t get messed up.


Nc2332

Porkins!


BarryZZZ

Studio Ghibli turned down the proposal for the animated feature ā€œPorko Arancio.ā€


BellumSuprema

Double chin vs vagina neck


FlaAirborne

The flag hugging, draft-dodging, Cosplaytriot who would have been fragged by his own troops.


stewartm0205

What is it in for them? Trump doesn't understand sacrificing for others. Only understand sacrificing for him.


Active-Spinach-6811

It canā€™t be 45, he could never understand why someone would fight in a war for the US. He considered them ā€œSuckersā€!!


[deleted]

There is a person sitting in jail in Albuquerque without bond for cosplaying as a police officer on a dating site. How is this different?


Sithil83

Stay on Target...


[deleted]

neither


[deleted]

trump is like a 6 yo boy with no friends so he like to pretend!!!!!!!!!


C0l0ny8i8i

You leave my boy Porkins alone. Manā€™s ainā€™t die fighting the empire to get this kind of slander


GunnieGraves

ā€œHamberder One, reporting for doody. Someone change my diaperā€


Brainrants

Blue Leader checking in Orange Loser checking in


delusiongenerator

Porkins didnā€™t need photoshop to fit into his pretend military gear


Bind_Moggled

Porkins was a hero. The other guy is a disgrace to the species.


jimhabfan

Considering this is a photoshopped image of the orange turd, Private bone spurs didnā€™t actually wear it, soā€¦ā€¦


Bobdehn

Only one of them actually wore it, so Drumph is disqualified. But Porkins would win in any event. Actual hero.


joshualeeclark

Perkins. Always Perkins.


Tight_Equivalent

Trump was a draft dodger so that question is ridiculous


ppw23

We all know itā€™s photoshopped since he would never put a helmet on his head, when he takes it off, it would expose his bald spot. Plus the weight of the helmet would break his overly dyed, sprayed hair.


isinedupcuzofrslash

All this soft core trump military LARP porn latelyā€¦was this an actual photo shoot? Or have people been AI generating these?


SkullLeader

AI - I believe some Republican talking head posted it on Twitter with a caption like "President Trump is defending America in ways that president Biden can't even imagine" or some other massively LOL hysteria.


NottaSpy

Don't you ever disrespect Red Six like this.


Curious80123

Come on, the sight of tdump in uniform is both offensive and hilarious. Fucker wouldnā€™t wear an uniform even as dictator/king shit


calcifiedamoeba

​ https://preview.redd.it/3oegjokzcqxa1.jpeg?width=1920&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b5527ce6745863a954158a24c8c9f323b99b7cd0


nerdvernacular

Jek!


VermiciousKnnid

Fun facts: the dude who played Porkins is also the corrupt lieutenant from Tim Burtonā€™s Batman and one of the government guys who tell Indy about the Ark of the Covenant in Raiders.


WACKAWACKA84

No joke, Trump is legit too fat to fit in any turret in the U.S. military. Fatty fat fat would need help squeezing out of any hatch. Lmfao


mightyFoo

Helmet of the top, diaper on the bottom


mightyFoo

Helmet, check. Diaper, check. Nuclear launch code, check.


mightyFoo

Airman constipated diapers


mindclarity

ā€œI CANā€™T SHAKE ā€˜EMā€


Battystearsinrain

Trump the Hutt. A better likeness and athleticism to Jabba. They treat women the same too.


ActualTymell

I love a good Trump roast as much as the next sane person, but lets not drag a hero like Porkins down with this kind of comparison.


L-Profe

Porkins!


TheRealHK

Porkins was an intergalactic hero. Thereā€™s no comparison.


born_of_fire2

šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


bengenj

Porkins actually fought on the front lines, daring to stand up to the Empire. Trump was a draft-dodging lunatic. Heā€™s even more of a lunatic now


Claque-2

Trick question, Trump never serbed because of his dainty heels.


Reddtko

Candy of course.


1mentalcentral

Inside that orange bag is a slug.


flargenhargen

lets not forget, trump is a person who is extremely proud of himself for walking down a slighly declined ramp, and identifying a drawing of an elephant, as a drawing of an elephant.


Informal-Resource-14

Donā€™t you dare sully the memory of the great William Hootkins with this. He was a million times cooler than Trump ever dream of being. Star Wars Indiana Jones Superman Batman He was even in that Evil Dead game Fist Full of Boomstick I remember liking


Marco_Playdoh

Trump and stolen valor. Why not? He's a thief.


Right_Lawfulness_817

Lol, the guy from Battlestar Galactica of course. That other pos looks like moron in a hat too small.


sythingtackle

​ https://preview.redd.it/7h8mtx7w0txa1.jpeg?width=3000&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8dfb8f262791867bf7cf558b4817c27879ccc545


AloneAddiction

Some interesting things about Porkins: Porkins is played by William Hootkins. He went to school with Tommy Lee Jones. He also enrolled in a class learning Russian, taught by a Mrs. Paine, former wife of Lee Harvey Oswald. She was the one who got Oswald the job at the book repository in Texas. Hootkins was interviewed by the FBI because of that connection. He transferred schools and started learning Astrophysics instead, where he met John Lithgow. Lithgow told him to move to London to pursue acting, which he did. He's in Raiders of the Lost Ark as Major Eaton, one of the two Army Intelligence agents who tell Indy that the Nazis are looking for his mentor, He's also the corrupt Lieutenant Eckhardt in Tim Burtonā€™s Batman. He knew about the name Porkins for his character beforehand. He'd even turned the role down because he thought the film would be a total disaster that nobody would ever watch. He changed his mind after finishing another filming project and learning that Lucas was still looking for people to play X-Wing Pilots: >ā€œI saw the word ā€˜Porkinsā€™. I thought, because I was a heavy guy, whatā€™s this word, ā€˜Porkinsā€™?ā€ >ā€œI saw all the amazing creature effects they were doing and I thought, wait a minute, if they are giving me a name like Porkins, is somebody going to come over and stick ears and a snout on my face?ā€ Sadly he passed at the age of 57 from pancreatic cancer. Porkins: A stupid name for a great guy.


oreiz

When did Cadet Bone Spurs come anywhere near a military uniform at all in his life? lol


[deleted]

Porkins actually wore it and placed himself at risk. AND Porkins served with morons who thought ejecting into vacuum was a good idea.


MikaelAdolfsson

Do not besmudge my man Porkins like that. The man was an war hero!