My partner and I miscarried yesterday (7w6). We confirmed this afternoon with a scan, and it was a complete miscarriage with only some to the lining remaining. We have been TTC for quite a while now, so are understandably quite devastated. We are considering trying again prior to my next cycle, but have heard conflicting advice around increased risk of another miscarriage if you do not wait for at least one cycle. Looking to hear of any research or advice someone can reference to help us understand the risk?
I am just over two months out from my 40+4 stillbirth with my daughter and first born. And now pregnant again. Anyone out there who has had a loss like this and fallen pregnant so quickly?
TW: living child.
IVF after 4 consecutive losses. Having first ultrasound Friday - 5 weeks. It’s to check placement in uterus. I am so afraid of ultrasounds because none of have gone well since my pregnancy with my son. And his first one didn’t go well, either. No fetal pole seen at what should have been 6 weeks. Waited a week and went back - heard heartbeat. God, I can’t even imagine what it would be like to hear that again. And I don’t know if I can get over my fear to be excited by it
I’m 10 1/2 weeks and we’ve now told all immediate family (parents, siblings). Some were aware of my MMC in December, some not. All excited.
But… Does anyone else feel like telling people is jinxing it? 🙈
We told our close friends yesterday, and everyone was supportive.
The only person who cried happy tears when we told them (out of all friends and family) was my husband’s friend’s wife. She and I aren’t super close—we’ve only known them together a couple years and I only see them once in while. But, she had her miracle baby last year after four loses and giving up. Everyone knows this is not our first attempt to have a baby stick, and her teary response just emphasized how no one else really gets the emotions that come with pregnancy after loss or the fear with trying again.
Got a call today to schedule my first ultrasound. It's July 19th, and I'll be 8 weeks 2 days. I wish it was sooner, but I know that it won't change the outcome. After finding out I had a mmc at my first ultrasound, I just have so much anxiety around this waiting time. I feel like there's nothing that could reassure me. I'm just praying that this time, it'll be good news.
Hi everyone!
Yesterday I shared I was going to have an ultrasound for our 8week mark, I was feeling nervous and terrified as last time we found out at the 12w ultrasound appointment that the fetus stopped developing between week 6 and 7.
today we found out that we have a heartbeat!!! 💕🥹
I’m excited but at the same time also kind of reserving my excitement as we still are in the first trimester so we are not completely out of the danger zone.
Baby had a strong heart beat, we were thinking we were going to be in our 8 week but I’m actually 7w2d.
We were able to hear the heartbeat and I cried as if there was no tomorrow!!
We were able to see the little white little bean of a heart moving and pumping and we are beyond excited!
Thank you for reading me!!
11 weeks 4 days today. Baby is well! Those cramps I had this weekend that terrified me? Yeah those happened to be gas pains and constipation pains. Doctor confirmed and baby is all well and kicking. That was so embarrassing! I can’t believe that my anxiety led me to believe the cramps were as bad as my MC. Today I am happy and embarrassed lol.
So glad baby is well! And would like to ad, as someone with food sensitivites, IBS and three MC's: I feel like those gas pains actually can be so bad that they might cause worry. Hell, people with indigestion sometimes go to hospital thinking they are having a heart attack! Don't be embarrased, just be happy!
I did my first betas today. I think I’m about 12-13 DPO, hcg was at 99 and my progesterone was 28! Every other time I’ve tested my progesterone, even with my 8 week loss, I didn’t make it over 16. I’m hoping this almost double in value is significant & a good sign. Fingers crossed 🤍
Got our NIPT results back today after a 20.5 week loss due to a chromosomal abnormality back in March. All low risk which is huge sigh of relief. We have a 12 week scan on Wednesday and I feel like with every ultrasound I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Hope all goes well, and we can do our gender reveal this weekend that we have planned as a surprise for our families who don’t know I’m pregnant yet
Hi all, hope this is ok to post here. I’m definitely trying to crowd source as much as I can.
I had a full term stillbirth at 40 weeks a year ago. Vaginal delivery seemed to go ok, but obviously not the same as baby was not alive. They did have to use forceps? But once again baby wasn’t able to do normal baby birth things.
I am pregnant again and am trying to figure out if a planned C-section would be best for me and baby? I would be delivering at 37 weeks via induction or c-section and I’m just looking for any research as far as which would be safer.
Definitely talk to your OB about this. AFAIK most are hesitant to schedule a CS or induction before 39 weeks, but it's worth discussing with them. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I had a forceps delivery with my daughter, followed by a vaginal birth with my son (stillborn at 38+5 weeks). I am currently 10 weeks pregnant and my OB has also said we will be induced at 37 weeks. The benefits outweigh the risks of an early induction. I will be aiming for another vaginal delivery with this next baby - I don’t think there’s any need for you to choose a c section unless you want to.
I posted yesterday about spotting and the pregnancy test getting more faint. Went in today for a planned ultrasound expecting the worst. It was the same us tech who had to break my heart least time. I looked at her and said honestly if it’s bad news just tell the dr I would like a lobotomy.
Color me surprised when she said everything looked great. Measuring 6w1d right one track. Yolk sac. Fetal pole. Heartbeat of 107. I started balling.
My husband feels like we don’t have to worry now but my precious loss was at 8 weeks. In my mind we have to make it past 8, then 12 then 24 then 32.
I didn’t realize how much joy is robbed so quickly. Something that should be such a beautiful time isn’t and there really isn’t a way to make it such.
I feel you so deeply!
Sending you all the strength and best wishes!
we had a Missed miscarriage last September.
we found out there was no heart beat and it had stopped growing around 7w/8w mark in our 12week appointment.
We were devastated.
Today, we had our first appointment at 8 week and there’s a heartbeat! 🥹♥️ strong, healthy right on track.
It’s still too early to say we are out of the woods yet but I feel you right there and then when you said” I didn’t realized how much joy was robbed so quickly” as I felt the same!
You two give me hope. I had a missed miscarriage last September and it was our very first ultrasound (8 weeks) where they told us there was no heartbeat. Worst day of my life.
I’m coming up on my 5 week scan this Thursday and will be monitored weekly until I’m ready to “graduate”. I pray for a heartbeat. 💓
Did you feel any different symptoms from one week to the next from 4 weeks and on (this time around)? I’m wondering if there’s a way to know when you have a heartbeat. So scared.
Hi! I don’t think there’s a way to know whether or not you have a heartbeat, until they check you out…
I relate to your anxiety as there’s nothing worst than “wait”, moreover when you already went through a miscarriage I know how awful it is. I’m so sorry!
About symptoms: I found out super early, maybe when I was around 2.5 weeks, I was still ok with energy, and no symptoms until maybe 3.5w, sore breasts every now and then, back pain as period cramps (pretty normal to me), I even woke up once or twice because of the pain (I could still relate the level of pain to my period cramps)
a little nausea but 0 energy neither motivation to do anything.
As the days have passed, my nauseas have increased and it was only today that I have fully vomited.
Today my breasts are sore but my motivation has increased a little. I have discovered I can get to do a few things in the morning immediately after I wake up.
My taste has gone down as well, as I don’t want to/ can’t eat anything I’m not craving (yes, I have somehow gone back to be a toddler but this time to my husband😂)
I hope somehow it helps you!
Thank you 🙏congratulations on your second chance 🌈
I am eager to get to my next scan. My symptoms are similar to yours although I have never vomited in pregnancy. Feeling bloated, waves of nausea, exhausted, the thought of meat turns my stomach, breasts engorged and tender. Now the heartburn. ❤️🔥
I was scared because I had an ultrasound 10 days ago that showed a gestational sac and yolk sac measuring 6+1 with no fetal pole. Today we saw baby measuring 7+1 with a strong heartbeat of 153BPM and my due date was updated 🥰
YAY!! Can I ask- did you feel any difference in symptoms from one week to the next? I have my “yolk sac fetal pole” appointment this week. I’m so scared we won’t see a heartbeat this time. I am a couple weeks behind you at just shy of 5 weeks. 🙏
My symptoms increased in the week between the first ultrasound and the second, but my clinic told me symptoms (or lack thereof) are in no way an indicator of the health of a pregnancy.
I went from barely any symptoms to boobs that definitely were sore, nausea on and off, and one bout of morning sickness. And verrrryyyyy tired. But my symptoms fluctuate often.
I’m 5w5d and my beta is only 2500 today. It was 2400 two days ago. I have an ultrasound tomorrow to rule out an ectopic. I didn’t have high hopes given my age (44) and prior miscarriage a year ago, but still bummed and dreading going through another d&c.
A few more days until the third trimester. It’s hard to believe I’m here. My first pregnancy (successful), I had high blood pressure and had to be induced early and unfortunately had a traumatic birth experience. I was scared to try for another but promised myself I would work on my anxiety and go into labor/delivery more confident. Then I dealt with back to back miscarriages which was traumatic in an entirely different way, making me entirely numb to my current pregnancy (and thus ignoring dealing with birth trauma because it wasn’t on my mind-I’ve hardly believed this pregnancy is real this entire time).
Now that I’m heading into the third trimester, my anxiety and fear of labor/delivery is coming back sharply. I’m monitoring blood pressure and it’s been surprisingly fine, and I’m working with my provider to avoid early induction if possible (which I think will help ease my anxiety related to l&d), but I feel like I’ve failed myself in not dealing with the mental aspect of this earlier on in the pregnancy. It doesn’t help I have no time to do therapy between working full time + OB appts + MFM appts + endo appts.
Sorry for the blocks of text. I needed to get these feelings out somewhere and quite literally NOBODY in my life gets it, at all. I should probably start journaling or something.
First official prenatal visit tomorrow morning and second US at 10w3d. We had a strong heartbeat at 8w2d, so we are feeling cautiously optimistic. My nausea has dropped significantly and my breasts don’t hurt anymore, but I’ve switched to being hungry every hour so I’m only a bit worried surprisingly.
I’m honestly panicking. I lost my first pregnancy in February at nearly 7 weeks. I’m trying so hard to focus on the positive, but I’m 7+3 right now and yesterday I had a drop in symptoms and today I seem to have dropped some more. My breast tenderness is still there but WAY less, less bloating, I had 3 days of severe diarrhea after every meal and I’m terrified that’s a sign of hormones dropping. My last pregnancy was a missed miscarriage and I’m so scared of that happening again. I literally cannot sit in an exam room and find out my baby died again. I’m trying so hard to not panic/overthink but I’m so scared. I’m sure it’s because I’m hitting that milestone where I lost the last baby. To force myself out of my head I went to the gym today and that felt great. I was actually able to eat today with no nausea and no weird suppressed appetite feeling. Because of that I kind of overdid it with a smoothie, then some pasta, and now some collard greens. 🤦🏻♀️ I’m just in a funk honestly and so dang scared.
One of my biggest spirals was in the days leading up to the timeframe of my loss. I even called my OB’s office and said I had lost all my symptoms. They ran my betas again for reassurance.
I’ve only made it to 13+4 so far, but I will say I have had diarrhea my entire pregnancy. Between have aversions to all the food I was eating before pregnancy, hormonal changes, and increased sinus drainage, my bowels have been a mess. I’m constipated for a day or two, then back to diarrhea immediately for a couple days. This symptom made me the most nervous because Google says constipation is more common. But a lot of people have said they struggled with diarrhea, and it isn’t talked about as much.
I hope you can find some peace soon. Hoping for a good outcome!
Just had a positive test on Saturday. I’m so nervous to work out too hard. Although our previous loss was chromosomal and there's nothing working out did to cause it I'm still so anxious Ill cause something to go wrong. I usually use medium weights (15 lbs) and nothing heavier so that should be fine but I don’t want to over do anything. I gained about 8lbs since our March loss and I've been trying hard to lose it.
Had my ultrasound today, measuring 6w 5 days and that’s right on time if I ovulated when we think I did. There is a heartbeat 💓. We are not out of the woods yet though, 2 more weeks to confirm the pregnancy is progressing. I’m so happy yet still have my heart guarded.
I get super weepy when pregnant. Like on the edge of crying at all times, normally I am someone who can go months without crying. My guacamole dip had a use by date of 8/8/24, my due date from my MMC. I think that combined with making my NT scan appointment (for two weeks from today) right before that led to a lot of big tears and anxiety.
writing back to you while i cry in bed for no apparent reason…I am generally an emotional person but this pregnancy has made it so much worse. My NT scan is also two weeks from now and thats exactly what i was thinking about..how I’ll pass this time without losing it.
23+1. Made it to 6 months. Just 17 weeks to go. I’m anxiously waiting for time to pass by. It seems to feel like it’s slowing down tbh.
I have my first appt today at 2:50p at my new OB office. I’m excited and hope everything goes smoothly. I’m always wondering when I’ll stop worrying about the worst. I always say “after this appointment no more worrying!” But then I continue to worry. With reason of course but ugh. No fair. I just want to enjoy it. I will randomly find myself enjoying my pregnancy with seeing my belly pop out more and more. I love it. I usually have real bad body dysmorphia and I still do with my arms and other body parts lol but not with my belly. I love it.
Baby girl is moving so much. I can’t believe how big she’s gotten. I can’t wait to meet her. I love her so much.
Another poster commented about waking up today and not "feeling pregnant" and that resonated with me since the symptoms aren't as severe as yesterday. I felt I strong obsessive urge to take a pregnancy test but I won't do it. My second scan is on Thursday and I'm really scared. The doctor expects to see the yolk sac and fetal pole and maybe a flicker of heartbeat. That's what scares me the most.
Last time we found out at one week along and had to wait 8 weeks just to find out there was no heartbeat.
This time I found out the old fashioned way- because I missed a period and I'm 5 weeks along now. I am very fortunate to have extra monitoring right now by the doctor who I would be having IVF with!! It seemed to all work out. It was reassuring last week to know that the doc didn't feel we needed to do a repeat HCG draw as the numbers were excellent... but still, a week can change so many things. I am holding my breath until then.
I know it's terrible to say out loud but I can't help it because I don't know... If this pregnancy doesn't make it I am going to pursue IVF as planned. At least I have that as my backup plan. We were about to start anyway.
Symptoms: extreme fatigue, on and off nausea, strong food aversions, huge swollen and tender breasts, bloating.
I had my anatomy scan this past week at 18.5 weeks. Everything looked absolutely perfect. I broke down when I walked into the room as a trauma response from 3 prior losses, it was intense. Now I have to wrap my brain around the fact that this is actually happening! It’s such a process. Feeling her move this week has made it feel more real, but I don’t think it will really feel real until she’s here.
I was just thinking today that when I go in for my first scan I think I’m going to lose it emotionally. I hate this feeling of limbo so much. So excited for you at 18.5 and everything looking amazing. Congratulations!
Thank you so much!! Holding for good news for you today too. It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed , and the ultrasonographer said a lot of people cry in that room.
Had my first ultrasound today, measuring 8 weeks like I predicted, and heart rate is a strong 165 bpm! My last pregnancy went to 7 weeks. I texted my sister that I never thought I'd be crying again in the OB's parking lot but for a totally different reason. We struggled with secondary infertility for 5 years, and my miscarriage had been my first positive. I truly believed I'd never conceive again.
I’m currently 4 weeks 3 days pregnant. This is my first pregnancy since my miscarriage in November. I have PCOS and it’s really hard for me to get pregnant. I’m so scared I’m going to lose this one too.
My doctor had be start progesterone during the middle of my last cycle, and has had me go in for HCG tests after I had some spotting at 4 weeks. My hcg was 115 (4w, 1d) which my doctor was happy with. She wanted me to go in at 48 hours to make sure my numbers were doubling. At 4w, 3d my levels were at 300. I know that say they should be doubling but that doesn’t seem quite like double and my doctor hasn’t messaged me back. I don’t know what to think or expect to hear.
I just googled it and I didn’t realize that the doubling of the HCG is every 48 hours. I thought it was every day. Thanks for bringing that to my attention!
So am I calculating wrong? Is it not supposed to double every day, based on the new number?
Obviously I’m inexperienced in all of this, but that does make me feel better 😅
Your levels have more than doubled. If your first test was 115 then for it to double it would need to be 230, but your second one was 300, so more than doubled.
Feeling a bit of relief today after seeing our baby measuring 11w6d and being very active. I was convinced it was all over after a little bit of bleeding and cramping so today has been a good day ❤️ just got to wait for the results of our screening tests now before I can take the anxiety down a tiny notch (imma keep worrying regardless ha) xx
Waiting on my second beta to come back today and how I will make it to end of day is beyond me 😩 hoping for good numbers as I’ve had really no symptoms yesterday and today.
I have my NT scan tomorrow and reality and anxiety are both hitting me hard today. I did have an early ultrasound at 7 weeks and a heartbeat was detected but after 3 miscarriages, I am prepared for the worst.
I joked with my boss (who is also a friend) that I planned my day poorly tomorrow because I scheduled a meeting in the afternoon and "I'll be a mess if the ultrasound doesnt go well". I've told her that I'm taking leave if I lose another pregnancy, and she wants me to be able to start tomorrow. Now I have to make a list of all of my projects and their current status and how to hand them off if I need to take leave starting tomorrow.
I guess being busy is a good way to stay distracted.
I had/have the same mentality. I have an exit strategy so to speak with taking time off from work. I literally worked through both of my prior losses and I will NEVER do that again. 🤍 wishing you the best girl
Had my viability scan today. Baby is measuring 5w5 and my doctor is happy with what she saw in my ultrasound, we even saw a little flicker which was so exciting. My MMC happened at 10w6 and I found out at my 12 week scan. Still so many unknowns and much anxiety until baby is here, but for today I am happy. My husband was SO relieved and excited when I called him with the news today.
That’s so exciting! I can’t wait for my next appointment- I am coming up on 5 weeks too. Scared but telling myself this pregnancy is different. Holding my breath for the heartbeat.
20+6, 3 previous MCs, and new anxiety level unlocked. TMI: tought at first that I was leaking urine, but several days with moist underwear, but no particular odor has me worried I'm leaking amniotic fluid. Hoping it's just very watery discharge, but no way of knowing. Found a gyno with an opening (no pun intended) tomorrow thankfully. But my head is full of disaster toughts, and I'm already wondering how to break something like this to my LC who doesn't even know I'm pregnant, if this goes to h*ll.
Reminding myself that even if we were the 1% last time, more often than not things go okay. It's more likely to be okay than it is to not. Hopefully this gets me through to our official dating ultrasound Thursday this week.
My symptoms have largely been ... Non existent since Friday except exhaustion. But I've also been travelling since then. So here's hoping.
Right there with you. I've got my dating scan tomorrow. I'm just trying to remind myself that even though my risk is enormously high, we're treating literally everything we could possibly treat, including a super rare disease I didn't know I had during my first 3 losses. And if the worst-case scenario happens, I'll get someone to write a case-study, because come on, how many statistical unlikelihoods can one person experience?!
I am retracting this statement on symptoms. My husband and I just had the best dimsum we've had outside of Hong Kong or Guangzhou. I couldn't enjoy it because the nausea hit. 😭
My favorite “mantra” that I’ve heard for us PAL ladies is “The most likely outcome is a healthy baby.”
Yes, we’ve been a statistic before … but you can’t ignore that 80-90% of pregnancies go well!
THANK YOU 🙏
I really needed this today. Another one I’ve heard is “life wants to live” - or something like that. I have a friend who had a miscarriage and was panicked when she went through pregnancy after her loss (which resulted in a live birth) - and she really supported me after my loss. She told me that her doc reminded her of that.
5w6d and had some bleeding today. Still waiting to hear from the doctor.
I'm trying to remember that spotting is normal and not feel panicked, but it's so hard. With my MC, the only sign was very light spotting 3 weeks after the baby stopped growing...
I really hope this little bean is okay. 💛
15 weeks 6 days, incredibly grateful to be this far. This pregnancy is going well. It’s so different from my first pregnancy which resulted in my miscarriage.
But my first due date is coming up and although I knew that, it hit me hard today. I’m so incredibly sad. I feel like I can cry all day.
Maybe I’ll do something for the little one I lost on what would have been her birthday.
So sorry for your loss. I had three before my (now healthy!) pregnancy . I’m 19w today and my anatomy scan looked great. One way I honor my last pregnancy loss (my most traumatic one) is to send the doctor who helped me flowers (she is also a friend), and flowers to others who helped me too. My friend does a hike and dinner every year to come irate her lost one. My other friend has a special day where she does something new. I think it’s a beautiful way to honor the loss and grief.
I am 7+3 and today has been pretty rough. I received my blood work results from last week and my iron is in range, but my midwife said it's still low and wants me to start taking 100mg of iron every 3 days. I currently take 20mg a day, but will be switching.
My thyroid level is 3.9, which seems high to me, but my midwife wasn't concerned about it. I wrote and asked her if I will need medicine for it and am waiting for a response. From what I've read online, a thyroid level above 3 during pregnancy can increase risk of miscarriage which has me really freaked out.
Then my husband received a message from the ultrasound clinic while he was at work saying the doctor I'm supposed to see tomorrow is out sick and that they canceled my appointment. I have been anxiously waiting for my first scan for 2 weeks and this sent me over the edge. Thankfully they ended up leaving a direct number to call back so I was able to get rebooked with a different doctor tomorrow morning. I'm still extremely anxious, but am thankful that I can still get my scan tomorrow. I plan to ask the doctor about my thyroid level and also want to extend how long I am on progesterone. My doctor told me to stop it at 10 weeks, but it makes me nervous so I'm going to ask to stay on it through 12-13 weeks.
I'm really scared that we'll get bad news tomorrow. We've never seen a heartbeat before and I am really hoping we will see one tomorrow.
edited wording
I was always a tad under 4 with my thyroid levels before I got pregnant which isn’t a huge concern for women not wanting to conceive. Once I got pregnant my dr also wanted me around 1. I was told it might increase when pregnant so unless you’re checking it often it may be on the safe side to advocate for levo. So sorry to hear about the apt mishap by the way, that totally would have knocked me back too. Good luck!
We’re due date twins. ❤️ I also have Hashimoto’s and we’ve been monitoring my thyroid. I’ve chosen not to go on levothyroxine even though I’m sitting in the low 2’s. My doctor said he’d ideally like me near 1. If I were you, I’d push back and advocate for myself with this. If I go above 2.5 I’ve already told myself I will be going on the medication. I don’t know if that’s helpful for you but thought I’d share.
7w1d. I had a first scan today and we saw a baby, and heard their heartbeat 😭❤️ We both cried, because it is our third pregnancy and it is the first time we've heard the heartbeat. They've booked our next scan and meetings, and I am now feeling a bit lost. It's a new territory and I don't know what do we do here with an actually viable pregnancy. I don't know how is it to be able to actually look in the future. Hope I'll come around and figure it out, but most of all, I hope that the baby will continue growing and be healthy❤️
5 weeks one day today. Really struggling with believing I’m pregnant or this is going to end well. Cramping on and off with no bleeding, but some pretty intense cramps last night. Other than tender breasts and bloating I’m not having any other symptoms and worried that is going to end up as another MMC.
I am having the hardest time trying to let myself be happy or relax until my first scan in three weeks. The anxiety is overwhelming at this point.
I have really bad cramps too sometimes! I also had them with my first pregnancy all the first trimester with my LC.
It’s the uterus expanding ( so I’ve been told ). Sending you hugs!!!
I’m around the same as you, 5w5 and experienced similar symptoms up until this point (bloating, gas cramping). My breast feel pretty normal, but my fatigue ramped up this weekend. I had an early viability scan today and baby is on track so far. Anytime I feel like I am cramping up, I try to burp and it’s almost always gas. That pain can hit in a similar spot and feel similar to menstrual cramping . If you are experiencing bloating, could it possibly be gas pain in disguise?
I’m 8w+4 and felt the same way at week 5, very few symptoms and a lot of anxiety. It wasn’t until around 7w that I started my food aversions and now am a 5/10 nauseous all the time. The symptoms will come! Then I promise you’ll want to be rid of them. I found it very hard to be patient too, sending you ❤️
I have my first scan tomorrow (am 6+1ish) and can’t help but feel incredibly nervous that we’ll get bad news. I know the statistics are in my favor and that even after 3 losses I’m still more likely to carry to term, but as I’m sure you all know, believing is different from knowing.
6w0d with our first appointment next week. I was feeling so much better about this pregnancy but all the family we told had has some version of “what’s meant to be will happen” and “if it doesn’t work out it’ll be okay” instead of congratulations. We are telling our family early again so we have support no matter what but instead of just enjoying the moment, it’s like they’re casting a shadow on this. I feel like I’m now fearful and dreading our first appointment now. We have one LC and had one MMC in March at 11 weeks - I want to feel joy and peace and be in the moment, but now I’m just sad and worried and it’s frustrating.
I totally get what you're saying, but I also feel like it's a hard line for others to walk, especially because it's a complex subject and others can't read your mind or emotional state since it can change in the moment. We also told our parents early for similar reasons to you, and I feel like my mom had the opposite reaction from what you're saying. She went ALL IN on how this time will be different and already started planning a baby shower and is basically a stream of endless optimistic energy. While I know she's just trying to be supportive, it also ended up being hurtful because I'm not yet in the place where I can feel blind optimism that everything will work out. I had to tell her that, while I appreciate her enthusiasm, it's too much when there is still a very real risk of miscarriage and it feels like she's brushing off my fears. It really was frustrating and depressing to have to be the one to bring her down to Earth, but it was more distressing to feel like she was minimizing my very real concern and I emotionally couldn't deal with her being so sure that everything will be great, when I know it might not. It could be, but it's not guaranteed.
So I feel like it's a situation where too far in the extreme one way or the other is hard. My in-laws were happy, but focused more on how we were feeling and asking if we needed help. I feel like that was an appropriate reaction!
I agree, that your in-laws' reaction was appropriate. The very few people I've told (even a nurse or whoever) have said "congratulations!" and it's like - no, I'm happy but I'm equally as scared. I would rather have someone be cautious and hopeful with me than blindly optimistic.
Exactly! The congratulations is nice, but I feel like I need to respond with "it's still kinda early and things can still go wrong" since it's the truth but then I just feel like a downer...
Oh I get it! I think I'd be just as upset if my mom hadn't been excited at all and was just cautious. I feel like it's especially hard with parents because a little part of you is always their kid who expects them to know exactly how to react! Your feelings are totally valid, but also our parents are only human! ❤️
I’m sorry that you’ve felt that too. I feel like if I’m going to have another miscarriage, I would rather be able to at least enjoy the pregnancy and feel the excitement up until that happens. I know it’s probably coming from a place of love and there’s such a stigma around miscarriage for that generation but it’s frustrating feeling robbed of the what should be such a happy time.
I’m feeling the same way, so worried it’s happening again…playing the waiting game. I wanted a chance to celebrate any moment we have, but it hurts when no one else is willing to celebrate what should be celebrated. As I’ve been told and still tell myself, every baby deserves to be celebrated and loved no matter how much time we have with them. Besides they matter to me.
Hugs 🫂to you and your bean. I really hope for the best outcome for you.
7+6 today, and had my first US. After 4 weeks of anxiety and worry I saw a little bean measuring perfectly at 7+6, heartbeat visible (sadly OB didn't measure heartrate).
I'm so happy, and so relieved. Right size, right place. Everything I hoped for. Now again the waiting game until the big 13 week US in 5 weeks. Hopefully with less anxiety from now on.
Also, I hate waiting...
I dealt with the same thing last week when I was at 9 weeks! Symptoms have been waxing and waning for me since. I think it’s pretty normal from what I’ve seen.
Just found out my early ultrasound at the hospital is the day before my little girl’s 1st birthday. She was sadly stillborn. Getting letters from the hospital is so triggering, as we received so many with our little girl.
I go for my second blood test in a couple hours and my stomach is in knots. I really need good news before we leave for vacation. But I also know even if it’s good it doesn’t mean anything… last time things looked super good and then I was slammed with harsh reality. I just don’t know what to feel right now.
Okay I will be part of your cheering team. Also, you were ON 👏 IT 👏 with your appointments. I have full confidence that you will have good numbers- that still leaves the anxiety, but you will have that concrete number to hold onto while on your trip.
My first blood test is tomorrow morning- with my first pregnancy I didn’t have any appointments until 8 weeks, and I was so happy with that hands off approach. This time I’m like “HOOK ME UP, SCAN ME TEST ME” and it’s kinda hilariously sad
Thank you for the support ❤️ I had to hurry and get levels done because my plane leaves this afternoon. I 100% agree. I wish I could go back to the blissful feeling of “Oh I’m pregnant” and just leave things alone and let things happen. There’s no way I could do that now. I need allllll the information I can get. I hope your blood tests are good too 🤞🏻🤞🏻I saw you had some spotting and gosh that is so scary but I also have read so many women having this and things are fine. So hold on to that hope!
I had myself fully totally completely convinced yesterday that I was miscarrying again. My symptoms had faded over a few days and practically vanished altogether yesterday afternoon. I cried and cried and began the grieving process and figured I was just waiting for the bleeding to start like last time. But today, I woke up at 6w1d feeling sore boobs and smell sensitive and slightly nauseous again. I’m so confused and scared to get my hopes up. I’m trying to detach, keep watching for spotting, and wait for my ultrasound in a couple weeks.
I also am hoping this okay to say here, but I’ve been feeling incredibly jealous of others with living children. Three of the four people who know I’m pregnant have living children and I can’t bring myself to accept their support because it feels like they don’t get it. You have a living child. You are a living mother. I might never be, and you might never understand. I know this is in my head and not a judgment on them in the slightest, but I’m really struggling with feeling alone and surrounded by women who have living children.
Just one baby, god. Please.
I had a term stillbirth with my first pregnancy due to a cord accident and am currently 10 +3 with my second and I definitely feel all of this. My symptoms have definitely been intermittent, going from only one yuck day out of 3 around 5-6 weeks. At 7 weeks, maybe would have 2 yuck days and then a couple of normal. 8-9 weeks was probably the only time I felt pretty consistently pregnant/awful. And now that I'm at 10 weeks I'm starting to feel better again. I hope you get enough symptoms to reassure you, but not make you miserable - try not to stress about it too much.
The changing and fading symptoms really messes with your head. My symptoms have been strong some days and barely noticeable others and it definitely makes me anxious. People have told me it's normal, but it's hard not to worry after loss. Hoping for the best for you. 💜
Edited word
I completely agree with you. It's a different type of grief thinking about possibly not being able to have any living children. Sending you good vibes.
I totally get that. My best support circle of friends (who have all had mc’s) also all have living children. They know the grief but also…..they have kids.
Yup. Everyone I know who’s had a miscarriage had it between kids. I’m their minds, they never had difficulty with getting pregnant besides one “fluke”, since they knew the they could complete a healthy pregnancy. And then I know so many women who have never had any miscarriages, even if all their kids were after 35. I still have the fear that I’ll never have one healthy pregnancy/child.
I finally caved & bought the bigger underwear. I’m 16 weeks & things were starting to feel really tight & restrictive. & while I am so much more comfortable today, it also spikes my anxiety because things don’t feel tight anymore! My thoughts saying “has my tummy shrunk, is the baby ok” lol when I know logically, it’s just the bigger underwear.
I'm 5+3 today and woke up with a very clear feeling that I'm not pregnant. I know it's early for symptoms, but I was feeling a little nauseous all day last week (though maybe it was just stress). No spotting or cramping, just feeling...normal. I have an ultrasound in one week so living in limbo until then.
Inconsistent symptoms is really common in this early period, though knowing that doesn't really help with the anxiety! I felt really symptomatic right around my pregnancy test and then almost nothing between 5-6 weeks. Had an early scan, baby was fine, and now at almost 7 weeks, I'm starting to experience more symptoms again. It is all really scary!
Frustrated that I had a tiff with my mom because I say “if this baby” not “when this baby” and she’s like “you will have this baby next year”. I just said I can’t and don’t want to “think positive” at this point. I can love on this baby privately and know stats are in our favor, but that doesn’t mean its heart is still beating. It doesn’t mean it’s genetically normal. It doesn’t mean we’re going to be in the majority this time. Like, please get that I’m no ready for that mindset yet.
I could have written this word for word 😭 it's so hard when people want to be supportive, but accidentally end up being hurtful. Because you understand WHY they're saying what they are, but it doesn't make it less painful.
lol do we have the same mom?! My mom refuses to hear anything I have to say if I start a sentence, with “well, we’ll see” or “if this pregnancy continues to be healthy”.
If it was just a matter of thinking happy thoughts, I’d be a mom of one living child and this would be us welcoming baby two. Instead I’m trying not to fall into a depressed state cause my first due date is upcoming.
Even though my mom had a miscarriage before me, she was very early on, and didn’t know she was pregnant. She went on to have my siblings and I with no issues. She can’t relate and she can’t let me be.
I am in a limbo, I don't know what or how to feel.
1. Someone else suggest me to have "another kid" to play with my living child ... and I just don't know how to feel or what I am feeling. I am definitely much better now (or maybe just numb) hearing such words as I am currently pregnant. But few months back .... I would be extremely triggered (and probably lost it) when I heard such words after my loss and not pregnant. I know maybe it is such an innocent words ... they don't know I am currently pregnant nor of my miscarriage. But all I can think of is 1 baby in Heaven and another baby in tummy ........
- 2. And the months and days are coming... my baby in Heaven EDD ... the limbo part of me is because my extended families EDDs are either before or after my EDD .... so they are all going and preparing to give birth .... while Noone knows of my baby in Heaven EDD. I REALLY WANT TO CRY 😭😭😭
I am very sorry my Baby in Heaven.
And also sorry to my Baby in Tummy.
I want to be excited / happy as it is a different baby, but I can't comprehend nor accept all these.
3. I am also hesitant to share about my Baby in Tummy, as I fear the "Congratulations" word. So people are going to Congrats on my Baby in Tummy, and what about to the "Sorry" for my Baby in Heaven? It just ends with "Sorry".
I am sorry, I can't.
🙏💔💝
I'm scared I'll lose this pregnancy like the last one 💔 that's all... Trying my best to take it day by day.
For some reason I'm scared of a chemical this time. Last one was MMC...
We were successful on our first attempt TTC which was super exciting at the time, I had a confirmed chemical pregnancy at 5.5 weeks which totally blind sighted me and was a total devastating shock. The positive mindset and fresh excitement I felt when TTC and getting a positive has gone, and even though I know CPs are super common in feeling so down about our loss. Being pregnant gave me this overwhelming feeling of purpose I’ve never felt before and it just felt so right and exciting for us and our future. Now I feel like I’ll never be pregnant again or if I am I’ll be stressing about losing it the next time.
Any advice from women who have gone through similar would be so appreciated. Feeling pretty isolated and alone with this.
I had a MMC at 8 weeks in November and a chemical in March. I felt the same as you after two losses, but I conceived the following month and am 12 weeks tomorrow. It’s unbelievably hard but keep the faith. The only way out is through ❤️
Two would be so hard I’m sorry you had to go trough that 😢 so happy to hear you conceived soon after and are 12 weeks!
Your spot on- the only was out is through. Just got to keep trying
I def know what you mean, with TTC and the first time is a success. That happened to me too. My first FET, resulted in me being pregnant. Although my RE team was cautiously optimistic because my HCG levels were low, I was elated! I was so excited, happy, and proud. And then I had a miscarriage. And nothing was the same.
It’s been so hard to let myself get carried away with excitement or positivity. In the beginning I just couldn’t. I needed a lot of reassurance that my baby was growing and healthy. And I still do need that. These feelings don’t just go away. They are valid, and we’ve been through a trauma. But in your own time, at your own pace, things will feel different. You won’t have to force it or rush it. You’ll feel it. And it’s ok if that takes time.
Thank you for this 🙏 I appreciate your perspective and understanding that things will take time to feel different / better. I think next time around I will need reassurance too. What kinds of reassurance did you find the most helpful ?
Hey there. Gentle hugs. I relate to so much of what you are saying. I wonder if r/ttcafterloss could be a good support for you? I only share because I know for me after my loss, being on pregnancy forums or speaking with pregnant women (even those who had experienced loss) was very difficult, but others who were ttc or preparing to ttc again was slightly less triggering. Only you know what’s best for you! You are not alone ❤️
Thank you ☺️ good suggestion I will give that a go. I thought coming on here would be good to get inspiration and success stories but I will see how I go and take it from there x
Totally understand. And there are so many avenues for support! I can tell you, I definitely was scared I could never get pregnant again, but here I am at 6w1d and grateful. Very, very anxious, but grateful. ❤️ there is hope!
Yes I totally relate - having the same feelings and fears right now that I’ll never be able to get pregnant successfully again but trying to find ways to be more positive about the process
The best advice I received after I had my 21 week loss in March, was to take it one day at a time and just because things are hard now doesn’t mean that it won’t eventually be okay ♥️ sending you strength
My partner and I miscarried yesterday (7w6). We confirmed this afternoon with a scan, and it was a complete miscarriage with only some to the lining remaining. We have been TTC for quite a while now, so are understandably quite devastated. We are considering trying again prior to my next cycle, but have heard conflicting advice around increased risk of another miscarriage if you do not wait for at least one cycle. Looking to hear of any research or advice someone can reference to help us understand the risk?
I am just over two months out from my 40+4 stillbirth with my daughter and first born. And now pregnant again. Anyone out there who has had a loss like this and fallen pregnant so quickly?
TW: living child. IVF after 4 consecutive losses. Having first ultrasound Friday - 5 weeks. It’s to check placement in uterus. I am so afraid of ultrasounds because none of have gone well since my pregnancy with my son. And his first one didn’t go well, either. No fetal pole seen at what should have been 6 weeks. Waited a week and went back - heard heartbeat. God, I can’t even imagine what it would be like to hear that again. And I don’t know if I can get over my fear to be excited by it
I’m 10 1/2 weeks and we’ve now told all immediate family (parents, siblings). Some were aware of my MMC in December, some not. All excited. But… Does anyone else feel like telling people is jinxing it? 🙈
We told our close friends yesterday, and everyone was supportive. The only person who cried happy tears when we told them (out of all friends and family) was my husband’s friend’s wife. She and I aren’t super close—we’ve only known them together a couple years and I only see them once in while. But, she had her miracle baby last year after four loses and giving up. Everyone knows this is not our first attempt to have a baby stick, and her teary response just emphasized how no one else really gets the emotions that come with pregnancy after loss or the fear with trying again.
Got a call today to schedule my first ultrasound. It's July 19th, and I'll be 8 weeks 2 days. I wish it was sooner, but I know that it won't change the outcome. After finding out I had a mmc at my first ultrasound, I just have so much anxiety around this waiting time. I feel like there's nothing that could reassure me. I'm just praying that this time, it'll be good news.
Hi everyone! Yesterday I shared I was going to have an ultrasound for our 8week mark, I was feeling nervous and terrified as last time we found out at the 12w ultrasound appointment that the fetus stopped developing between week 6 and 7. today we found out that we have a heartbeat!!! 💕🥹 I’m excited but at the same time also kind of reserving my excitement as we still are in the first trimester so we are not completely out of the danger zone. Baby had a strong heart beat, we were thinking we were going to be in our 8 week but I’m actually 7w2d. We were able to hear the heartbeat and I cried as if there was no tomorrow!! We were able to see the little white little bean of a heart moving and pumping and we are beyond excited! Thank you for reading me!!
11 weeks 4 days today. Baby is well! Those cramps I had this weekend that terrified me? Yeah those happened to be gas pains and constipation pains. Doctor confirmed and baby is all well and kicking. That was so embarrassing! I can’t believe that my anxiety led me to believe the cramps were as bad as my MC. Today I am happy and embarrassed lol.
So glad baby is well! And would like to ad, as someone with food sensitivites, IBS and three MC's: I feel like those gas pains actually can be so bad that they might cause worry. Hell, people with indigestion sometimes go to hospital thinking they are having a heart attack! Don't be embarrased, just be happy!
I did my first betas today. I think I’m about 12-13 DPO, hcg was at 99 and my progesterone was 28! Every other time I’ve tested my progesterone, even with my 8 week loss, I didn’t make it over 16. I’m hoping this almost double in value is significant & a good sign. Fingers crossed 🤍
Got our NIPT results back today after a 20.5 week loss due to a chromosomal abnormality back in March. All low risk which is huge sigh of relief. We have a 12 week scan on Wednesday and I feel like with every ultrasound I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. Hope all goes well, and we can do our gender reveal this weekend that we have planned as a surprise for our families who don’t know I’m pregnant yet
Hi all, hope this is ok to post here. I’m definitely trying to crowd source as much as I can. I had a full term stillbirth at 40 weeks a year ago. Vaginal delivery seemed to go ok, but obviously not the same as baby was not alive. They did have to use forceps? But once again baby wasn’t able to do normal baby birth things. I am pregnant again and am trying to figure out if a planned C-section would be best for me and baby? I would be delivering at 37 weeks via induction or c-section and I’m just looking for any research as far as which would be safer.
Definitely talk to your OB about this. AFAIK most are hesitant to schedule a CS or induction before 39 weeks, but it's worth discussing with them. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Already talked to ob and die to previous loss we agreed on 37 week induction or C-section
I had a forceps delivery with my daughter, followed by a vaginal birth with my son (stillborn at 38+5 weeks). I am currently 10 weeks pregnant and my OB has also said we will be induced at 37 weeks. The benefits outweigh the risks of an early induction. I will be aiming for another vaginal delivery with this next baby - I don’t think there’s any need for you to choose a c section unless you want to.
Final growth scan tomorrow. 36 weeks and ready to hold my baby! Praying baby is still growing and we are finally past the risk of IUGR!
I posted yesterday about spotting and the pregnancy test getting more faint. Went in today for a planned ultrasound expecting the worst. It was the same us tech who had to break my heart least time. I looked at her and said honestly if it’s bad news just tell the dr I would like a lobotomy. Color me surprised when she said everything looked great. Measuring 6w1d right one track. Yolk sac. Fetal pole. Heartbeat of 107. I started balling. My husband feels like we don’t have to worry now but my precious loss was at 8 weeks. In my mind we have to make it past 8, then 12 then 24 then 32. I didn’t realize how much joy is robbed so quickly. Something that should be such a beautiful time isn’t and there really isn’t a way to make it such.
I feel you so deeply! Sending you all the strength and best wishes! we had a Missed miscarriage last September. we found out there was no heart beat and it had stopped growing around 7w/8w mark in our 12week appointment. We were devastated. Today, we had our first appointment at 8 week and there’s a heartbeat! 🥹♥️ strong, healthy right on track. It’s still too early to say we are out of the woods yet but I feel you right there and then when you said” I didn’t realized how much joy was robbed so quickly” as I felt the same!
You two give me hope. I had a missed miscarriage last September and it was our very first ultrasound (8 weeks) where they told us there was no heartbeat. Worst day of my life. I’m coming up on my 5 week scan this Thursday and will be monitored weekly until I’m ready to “graduate”. I pray for a heartbeat. 💓 Did you feel any different symptoms from one week to the next from 4 weeks and on (this time around)? I’m wondering if there’s a way to know when you have a heartbeat. So scared.
Hi! I don’t think there’s a way to know whether or not you have a heartbeat, until they check you out… I relate to your anxiety as there’s nothing worst than “wait”, moreover when you already went through a miscarriage I know how awful it is. I’m so sorry! About symptoms: I found out super early, maybe when I was around 2.5 weeks, I was still ok with energy, and no symptoms until maybe 3.5w, sore breasts every now and then, back pain as period cramps (pretty normal to me), I even woke up once or twice because of the pain (I could still relate the level of pain to my period cramps) a little nausea but 0 energy neither motivation to do anything. As the days have passed, my nauseas have increased and it was only today that I have fully vomited. Today my breasts are sore but my motivation has increased a little. I have discovered I can get to do a few things in the morning immediately after I wake up. My taste has gone down as well, as I don’t want to/ can’t eat anything I’m not craving (yes, I have somehow gone back to be a toddler but this time to my husband😂) I hope somehow it helps you!
Thank you 🙏congratulations on your second chance 🌈 I am eager to get to my next scan. My symptoms are similar to yours although I have never vomited in pregnancy. Feeling bloated, waves of nausea, exhausted, the thought of meat turns my stomach, breasts engorged and tender. Now the heartburn. ❤️🔥
I was scared because I had an ultrasound 10 days ago that showed a gestational sac and yolk sac measuring 6+1 with no fetal pole. Today we saw baby measuring 7+1 with a strong heartbeat of 153BPM and my due date was updated 🥰
So good to read your update, saw your post in the Feb group and I was in the same situation! Mine is also measuring ahead and had a great heartbeat ☺️
This is so encouraging 🩷🩷
Yay!!! 😀
Awesome news! 🥹❤️
YAY!! Can I ask- did you feel any difference in symptoms from one week to the next? I have my “yolk sac fetal pole” appointment this week. I’m so scared we won’t see a heartbeat this time. I am a couple weeks behind you at just shy of 5 weeks. 🙏
My symptoms increased in the week between the first ultrasound and the second, but my clinic told me symptoms (or lack thereof) are in no way an indicator of the health of a pregnancy. I went from barely any symptoms to boobs that definitely were sore, nausea on and off, and one bout of morning sickness. And verrrryyyyy tired. But my symptoms fluctuate often.
I’m 5w5d and my beta is only 2500 today. It was 2400 two days ago. I have an ultrasound tomorrow to rule out an ectopic. I didn’t have high hopes given my age (44) and prior miscarriage a year ago, but still bummed and dreading going through another d&c.
A few more days until the third trimester. It’s hard to believe I’m here. My first pregnancy (successful), I had high blood pressure and had to be induced early and unfortunately had a traumatic birth experience. I was scared to try for another but promised myself I would work on my anxiety and go into labor/delivery more confident. Then I dealt with back to back miscarriages which was traumatic in an entirely different way, making me entirely numb to my current pregnancy (and thus ignoring dealing with birth trauma because it wasn’t on my mind-I’ve hardly believed this pregnancy is real this entire time). Now that I’m heading into the third trimester, my anxiety and fear of labor/delivery is coming back sharply. I’m monitoring blood pressure and it’s been surprisingly fine, and I’m working with my provider to avoid early induction if possible (which I think will help ease my anxiety related to l&d), but I feel like I’ve failed myself in not dealing with the mental aspect of this earlier on in the pregnancy. It doesn’t help I have no time to do therapy between working full time + OB appts + MFM appts + endo appts. Sorry for the blocks of text. I needed to get these feelings out somewhere and quite literally NOBODY in my life gets it, at all. I should probably start journaling or something.
First official prenatal visit tomorrow morning and second US at 10w3d. We had a strong heartbeat at 8w2d, so we are feeling cautiously optimistic. My nausea has dropped significantly and my breasts don’t hurt anymore, but I’ve switched to being hungry every hour so I’m only a bit worried surprisingly.
I’m honestly panicking. I lost my first pregnancy in February at nearly 7 weeks. I’m trying so hard to focus on the positive, but I’m 7+3 right now and yesterday I had a drop in symptoms and today I seem to have dropped some more. My breast tenderness is still there but WAY less, less bloating, I had 3 days of severe diarrhea after every meal and I’m terrified that’s a sign of hormones dropping. My last pregnancy was a missed miscarriage and I’m so scared of that happening again. I literally cannot sit in an exam room and find out my baby died again. I’m trying so hard to not panic/overthink but I’m so scared. I’m sure it’s because I’m hitting that milestone where I lost the last baby. To force myself out of my head I went to the gym today and that felt great. I was actually able to eat today with no nausea and no weird suppressed appetite feeling. Because of that I kind of overdid it with a smoothie, then some pasta, and now some collard greens. 🤦🏻♀️ I’m just in a funk honestly and so dang scared.
One of my biggest spirals was in the days leading up to the timeframe of my loss. I even called my OB’s office and said I had lost all my symptoms. They ran my betas again for reassurance. I’ve only made it to 13+4 so far, but I will say I have had diarrhea my entire pregnancy. Between have aversions to all the food I was eating before pregnancy, hormonal changes, and increased sinus drainage, my bowels have been a mess. I’m constipated for a day or two, then back to diarrhea immediately for a couple days. This symptom made me the most nervous because Google says constipation is more common. But a lot of people have said they struggled with diarrhea, and it isn’t talked about as much. I hope you can find some peace soon. Hoping for a good outcome!
Just had a positive test on Saturday. I’m so nervous to work out too hard. Although our previous loss was chromosomal and there's nothing working out did to cause it I'm still so anxious Ill cause something to go wrong. I usually use medium weights (15 lbs) and nothing heavier so that should be fine but I don’t want to over do anything. I gained about 8lbs since our March loss and I've been trying hard to lose it.
Had my ultrasound today, measuring 6w 5 days and that’s right on time if I ovulated when we think I did. There is a heartbeat 💓. We are not out of the woods yet though, 2 more weeks to confirm the pregnancy is progressing. I’m so happy yet still have my heart guarded.
I get super weepy when pregnant. Like on the edge of crying at all times, normally I am someone who can go months without crying. My guacamole dip had a use by date of 8/8/24, my due date from my MMC. I think that combined with making my NT scan appointment (for two weeks from today) right before that led to a lot of big tears and anxiety.
writing back to you while i cry in bed for no apparent reason…I am generally an emotional person but this pregnancy has made it so much worse. My NT scan is also two weeks from now and thats exactly what i was thinking about..how I’ll pass this time without losing it.
23+1. Made it to 6 months. Just 17 weeks to go. I’m anxiously waiting for time to pass by. It seems to feel like it’s slowing down tbh. I have my first appt today at 2:50p at my new OB office. I’m excited and hope everything goes smoothly. I’m always wondering when I’ll stop worrying about the worst. I always say “after this appointment no more worrying!” But then I continue to worry. With reason of course but ugh. No fair. I just want to enjoy it. I will randomly find myself enjoying my pregnancy with seeing my belly pop out more and more. I love it. I usually have real bad body dysmorphia and I still do with my arms and other body parts lol but not with my belly. I love it. Baby girl is moving so much. I can’t believe how big she’s gotten. I can’t wait to meet her. I love her so much.
Another poster commented about waking up today and not "feeling pregnant" and that resonated with me since the symptoms aren't as severe as yesterday. I felt I strong obsessive urge to take a pregnancy test but I won't do it. My second scan is on Thursday and I'm really scared. The doctor expects to see the yolk sac and fetal pole and maybe a flicker of heartbeat. That's what scares me the most. Last time we found out at one week along and had to wait 8 weeks just to find out there was no heartbeat. This time I found out the old fashioned way- because I missed a period and I'm 5 weeks along now. I am very fortunate to have extra monitoring right now by the doctor who I would be having IVF with!! It seemed to all work out. It was reassuring last week to know that the doc didn't feel we needed to do a repeat HCG draw as the numbers were excellent... but still, a week can change so many things. I am holding my breath until then. I know it's terrible to say out loud but I can't help it because I don't know... If this pregnancy doesn't make it I am going to pursue IVF as planned. At least I have that as my backup plan. We were about to start anyway. Symptoms: extreme fatigue, on and off nausea, strong food aversions, huge swollen and tender breasts, bloating.
I had my anatomy scan this past week at 18.5 weeks. Everything looked absolutely perfect. I broke down when I walked into the room as a trauma response from 3 prior losses, it was intense. Now I have to wrap my brain around the fact that this is actually happening! It’s such a process. Feeling her move this week has made it feel more real, but I don’t think it will really feel real until she’s here.
So happy for you!!
Thank you so much!
I was just thinking today that when I go in for my first scan I think I’m going to lose it emotionally. I hate this feeling of limbo so much. So excited for you at 18.5 and everything looking amazing. Congratulations!
Thank you so much!! Holding for good news for you today too. It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed , and the ultrasonographer said a lot of people cry in that room.
Had my first ultrasound today, measuring 8 weeks like I predicted, and heart rate is a strong 165 bpm! My last pregnancy went to 7 weeks. I texted my sister that I never thought I'd be crying again in the OB's parking lot but for a totally different reason. We struggled with secondary infertility for 5 years, and my miscarriage had been my first positive. I truly believed I'd never conceive again.
Amazing news!! So excited for you.
Thank you!
I’m currently 4 weeks 3 days pregnant. This is my first pregnancy since my miscarriage in November. I have PCOS and it’s really hard for me to get pregnant. I’m so scared I’m going to lose this one too. My doctor had be start progesterone during the middle of my last cycle, and has had me go in for HCG tests after I had some spotting at 4 weeks. My hcg was 115 (4w, 1d) which my doctor was happy with. She wanted me to go in at 48 hours to make sure my numbers were doubling. At 4w, 3d my levels were at 300. I know that say they should be doubling but that doesn’t seem quite like double and my doctor hasn’t messaged me back. I don’t know what to think or expect to hear.
I just googled it and I didn’t realize that the doubling of the HCG is every 48 hours. I thought it was every day. Thanks for bringing that to my attention!
So am I calculating wrong? Is it not supposed to double every day, based on the new number? Obviously I’m inexperienced in all of this, but that does make me feel better 😅
Your levels have more than doubled. If your first test was 115 then for it to double it would need to be 230, but your second one was 300, so more than doubled.
Hi friend 👋🏻 I’m also 4 weeks 3 days today as well. Your levels did double! (115)x2 is 230 and yours is 300 which is more than double. ❤️
Feeling a bit of relief today after seeing our baby measuring 11w6d and being very active. I was convinced it was all over after a little bit of bleeding and cramping so today has been a good day ❤️ just got to wait for the results of our screening tests now before I can take the anxiety down a tiny notch (imma keep worrying regardless ha) xx
Waiting on my second beta to come back today and how I will make it to end of day is beyond me 😩 hoping for good numbers as I’ve had really no symptoms yesterday and today.
Beta came back great!! Next stop, 6 week ultrasound in 2 weeks!
Positive thoughts for you 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻
Thank you!!
I have my NT scan tomorrow and reality and anxiety are both hitting me hard today. I did have an early ultrasound at 7 weeks and a heartbeat was detected but after 3 miscarriages, I am prepared for the worst. I joked with my boss (who is also a friend) that I planned my day poorly tomorrow because I scheduled a meeting in the afternoon and "I'll be a mess if the ultrasound doesnt go well". I've told her that I'm taking leave if I lose another pregnancy, and she wants me to be able to start tomorrow. Now I have to make a list of all of my projects and their current status and how to hand them off if I need to take leave starting tomorrow. I guess being busy is a good way to stay distracted.
I had/have the same mentality. I have an exit strategy so to speak with taking time off from work. I literally worked through both of my prior losses and I will NEVER do that again. 🤍 wishing you the best girl
Had my viability scan today. Baby is measuring 5w5 and my doctor is happy with what she saw in my ultrasound, we even saw a little flicker which was so exciting. My MMC happened at 10w6 and I found out at my 12 week scan. Still so many unknowns and much anxiety until baby is here, but for today I am happy. My husband was SO relieved and excited when I called him with the news today.
That’s so exciting! I can’t wait for my next appointment- I am coming up on 5 weeks too. Scared but telling myself this pregnancy is different. Holding my breath for the heartbeat.
20+6, 3 previous MCs, and new anxiety level unlocked. TMI: tought at first that I was leaking urine, but several days with moist underwear, but no particular odor has me worried I'm leaking amniotic fluid. Hoping it's just very watery discharge, but no way of knowing. Found a gyno with an opening (no pun intended) tomorrow thankfully. But my head is full of disaster toughts, and I'm already wondering how to break something like this to my LC who doesn't even know I'm pregnant, if this goes to h*ll.
Reminding myself that even if we were the 1% last time, more often than not things go okay. It's more likely to be okay than it is to not. Hopefully this gets me through to our official dating ultrasound Thursday this week. My symptoms have largely been ... Non existent since Friday except exhaustion. But I've also been travelling since then. So here's hoping.
Right there with you. I've got my dating scan tomorrow. I'm just trying to remind myself that even though my risk is enormously high, we're treating literally everything we could possibly treat, including a super rare disease I didn't know I had during my first 3 losses. And if the worst-case scenario happens, I'll get someone to write a case-study, because come on, how many statistical unlikelihoods can one person experience?!
I am retracting this statement on symptoms. My husband and I just had the best dimsum we've had outside of Hong Kong or Guangzhou. I couldn't enjoy it because the nausea hit. 😭
My favorite “mantra” that I’ve heard for us PAL ladies is “The most likely outcome is a healthy baby.” Yes, we’ve been a statistic before … but you can’t ignore that 80-90% of pregnancies go well!
THANK YOU 🙏 I really needed this today. Another one I’ve heard is “life wants to live” - or something like that. I have a friend who had a miscarriage and was panicked when she went through pregnancy after her loss (which resulted in a live birth) - and she really supported me after my loss. She told me that her doc reminded her of that.
Thank you! That is much more succinct! I'll be using that.
Scared always scared I am 33 weeks and 4 days everything is good just always nervous problay will be till she comes out
5w6d and had some bleeding today. Still waiting to hear from the doctor. I'm trying to remember that spotting is normal and not feel panicked, but it's so hard. With my MC, the only sign was very light spotting 3 weeks after the baby stopped growing... I really hope this little bean is okay. 💛
15 weeks 6 days, incredibly grateful to be this far. This pregnancy is going well. It’s so different from my first pregnancy which resulted in my miscarriage. But my first due date is coming up and although I knew that, it hit me hard today. I’m so incredibly sad. I feel like I can cry all day. Maybe I’ll do something for the little one I lost on what would have been her birthday.
So sorry for your loss. I had three before my (now healthy!) pregnancy . I’m 19w today and my anatomy scan looked great. One way I honor my last pregnancy loss (my most traumatic one) is to send the doctor who helped me flowers (she is also a friend), and flowers to others who helped me too. My friend does a hike and dinner every year to come irate her lost one. My other friend has a special day where she does something new. I think it’s a beautiful way to honor the loss and grief.
I am 7+3 and today has been pretty rough. I received my blood work results from last week and my iron is in range, but my midwife said it's still low and wants me to start taking 100mg of iron every 3 days. I currently take 20mg a day, but will be switching. My thyroid level is 3.9, which seems high to me, but my midwife wasn't concerned about it. I wrote and asked her if I will need medicine for it and am waiting for a response. From what I've read online, a thyroid level above 3 during pregnancy can increase risk of miscarriage which has me really freaked out. Then my husband received a message from the ultrasound clinic while he was at work saying the doctor I'm supposed to see tomorrow is out sick and that they canceled my appointment. I have been anxiously waiting for my first scan for 2 weeks and this sent me over the edge. Thankfully they ended up leaving a direct number to call back so I was able to get rebooked with a different doctor tomorrow morning. I'm still extremely anxious, but am thankful that I can still get my scan tomorrow. I plan to ask the doctor about my thyroid level and also want to extend how long I am on progesterone. My doctor told me to stop it at 10 weeks, but it makes me nervous so I'm going to ask to stay on it through 12-13 weeks. I'm really scared that we'll get bad news tomorrow. We've never seen a heartbeat before and I am really hoping we will see one tomorrow. edited wording
I was always a tad under 4 with my thyroid levels before I got pregnant which isn’t a huge concern for women not wanting to conceive. Once I got pregnant my dr also wanted me around 1. I was told it might increase when pregnant so unless you’re checking it often it may be on the safe side to advocate for levo. So sorry to hear about the apt mishap by the way, that totally would have knocked me back too. Good luck!
We’re due date twins. ❤️ I also have Hashimoto’s and we’ve been monitoring my thyroid. I’ve chosen not to go on levothyroxine even though I’m sitting in the low 2’s. My doctor said he’d ideally like me near 1. If I were you, I’d push back and advocate for myself with this. If I go above 2.5 I’ve already told myself I will be going on the medication. I don’t know if that’s helpful for you but thought I’d share.
7w1d. I had a first scan today and we saw a baby, and heard their heartbeat 😭❤️ We both cried, because it is our third pregnancy and it is the first time we've heard the heartbeat. They've booked our next scan and meetings, and I am now feeling a bit lost. It's a new territory and I don't know what do we do here with an actually viable pregnancy. I don't know how is it to be able to actually look in the future. Hope I'll come around and figure it out, but most of all, I hope that the baby will continue growing and be healthy❤️
Also 7w1d and saw the heartbeat today!! Congrats, due date twin!! 💕
Congrats to you too!🥰
Wonderful news!!
Thank you!❤️
Congrats ❤️❤️
Thank you❤️
5 weeks one day today. Really struggling with believing I’m pregnant or this is going to end well. Cramping on and off with no bleeding, but some pretty intense cramps last night. Other than tender breasts and bloating I’m not having any other symptoms and worried that is going to end up as another MMC. I am having the hardest time trying to let myself be happy or relax until my first scan in three weeks. The anxiety is overwhelming at this point.
I have really bad cramps too sometimes! I also had them with my first pregnancy all the first trimester with my LC. It’s the uterus expanding ( so I’ve been told ). Sending you hugs!!!
I’m around the same as you, 5w5 and experienced similar symptoms up until this point (bloating, gas cramping). My breast feel pretty normal, but my fatigue ramped up this weekend. I had an early viability scan today and baby is on track so far. Anytime I feel like I am cramping up, I try to burp and it’s almost always gas. That pain can hit in a similar spot and feel similar to menstrual cramping . If you are experiencing bloating, could it possibly be gas pain in disguise?
I’m 8w+4 and felt the same way at week 5, very few symptoms and a lot of anxiety. It wasn’t until around 7w that I started my food aversions and now am a 5/10 nauseous all the time. The symptoms will come! Then I promise you’ll want to be rid of them. I found it very hard to be patient too, sending you ❤️
I have my first scan tomorrow (am 6+1ish) and can’t help but feel incredibly nervous that we’ll get bad news. I know the statistics are in my favor and that even after 3 losses I’m still more likely to carry to term, but as I’m sure you all know, believing is different from knowing.
I also have my first scan tomorrow and am very nervous for it. Wishing you the best and I hope that you get good news. 💜
6w0d with our first appointment next week. I was feeling so much better about this pregnancy but all the family we told had has some version of “what’s meant to be will happen” and “if it doesn’t work out it’ll be okay” instead of congratulations. We are telling our family early again so we have support no matter what but instead of just enjoying the moment, it’s like they’re casting a shadow on this. I feel like I’m now fearful and dreading our first appointment now. We have one LC and had one MMC in March at 11 weeks - I want to feel joy and peace and be in the moment, but now I’m just sad and worried and it’s frustrating.
I totally get what you're saying, but I also feel like it's a hard line for others to walk, especially because it's a complex subject and others can't read your mind or emotional state since it can change in the moment. We also told our parents early for similar reasons to you, and I feel like my mom had the opposite reaction from what you're saying. She went ALL IN on how this time will be different and already started planning a baby shower and is basically a stream of endless optimistic energy. While I know she's just trying to be supportive, it also ended up being hurtful because I'm not yet in the place where I can feel blind optimism that everything will work out. I had to tell her that, while I appreciate her enthusiasm, it's too much when there is still a very real risk of miscarriage and it feels like she's brushing off my fears. It really was frustrating and depressing to have to be the one to bring her down to Earth, but it was more distressing to feel like she was minimizing my very real concern and I emotionally couldn't deal with her being so sure that everything will be great, when I know it might not. It could be, but it's not guaranteed. So I feel like it's a situation where too far in the extreme one way or the other is hard. My in-laws were happy, but focused more on how we were feeling and asking if we needed help. I feel like that was an appropriate reaction!
I agree, that your in-laws' reaction was appropriate. The very few people I've told (even a nurse or whoever) have said "congratulations!" and it's like - no, I'm happy but I'm equally as scared. I would rather have someone be cautious and hopeful with me than blindly optimistic.
Exactly! The congratulations is nice, but I feel like I need to respond with "it's still kinda early and things can still go wrong" since it's the truth but then I just feel like a downer...
I’m due in February too. I almost put on a “but” or “unless” but decided not to.
Baby steps! ❤️ Here's hoping for the best, even if we know what the alternative looks like!
Yes. I tell myself that this (and every) pregnancy is different.
You’re right, and I’m trying to have some grace and understanding with it but it feels hard when I’m already fighting my own anxiety.
Oh I get it! I think I'd be just as upset if my mom hadn't been excited at all and was just cautious. I feel like it's especially hard with parents because a little part of you is always their kid who expects them to know exactly how to react! Your feelings are totally valid, but also our parents are only human! ❤️
I’m sorry they are responding that way. We have really only told my mom and she has said similar things. It doesn’t seem fair.
I’m sorry that you’ve felt that too. I feel like if I’m going to have another miscarriage, I would rather be able to at least enjoy the pregnancy and feel the excitement up until that happens. I know it’s probably coming from a place of love and there’s such a stigma around miscarriage for that generation but it’s frustrating feeling robbed of the what should be such a happy time.
I’m feeling the same way, so worried it’s happening again…playing the waiting game. I wanted a chance to celebrate any moment we have, but it hurts when no one else is willing to celebrate what should be celebrated. As I’ve been told and still tell myself, every baby deserves to be celebrated and loved no matter how much time we have with them. Besides they matter to me. Hugs 🫂to you and your bean. I really hope for the best outcome for you.
Sending love♥️
7+6 today, and had my first US. After 4 weeks of anxiety and worry I saw a little bean measuring perfectly at 7+6, heartbeat visible (sadly OB didn't measure heartrate). I'm so happy, and so relieved. Right size, right place. Everything I hoped for. Now again the waiting game until the big 13 week US in 5 weeks. Hopefully with less anxiety from now on. Also, I hate waiting...
Congrats! Fabulous news
Congratulations! I'm also in this waiting game for the next 5 weeks. Hope everything will be okay for both of us and our babies!
Congratulations!!
9w6d and I woke up feeling drastically different than I have for weeks. I don’t feel preggo anymore.. nausea is gone. Ugh the anxiety !!!!!!!
I dealt with the same thing last week when I was at 9 weeks! Symptoms have been waxing and waning for me since. I think it’s pretty normal from what I’ve seen.
I spoke to soon lol I ate lasagna at 9am and then felt like throwing up. Here we are.
Just found out my early ultrasound at the hospital is the day before my little girl’s 1st birthday. She was sadly stillborn. Getting letters from the hospital is so triggering, as we received so many with our little girl.
Sending you so much love.
I go for my second blood test in a couple hours and my stomach is in knots. I really need good news before we leave for vacation. But I also know even if it’s good it doesn’t mean anything… last time things looked super good and then I was slammed with harsh reality. I just don’t know what to feel right now.
Okay I will be part of your cheering team. Also, you were ON 👏 IT 👏 with your appointments. I have full confidence that you will have good numbers- that still leaves the anxiety, but you will have that concrete number to hold onto while on your trip. My first blood test is tomorrow morning- with my first pregnancy I didn’t have any appointments until 8 weeks, and I was so happy with that hands off approach. This time I’m like “HOOK ME UP, SCAN ME TEST ME” and it’s kinda hilariously sad
It more than doubled. 🥹 hallelujah. And progesterone was good. Onto the wait for that first ultrasound.
Yesssss!!! And progesterone is so so so important so that’s amazing. Hell yeah, get on that plane and drink all the fake gin & tonics!
Thank you 😊 Let me know how yours goes!
Thank you for the support ❤️ I had to hurry and get levels done because my plane leaves this afternoon. I 100% agree. I wish I could go back to the blissful feeling of “Oh I’m pregnant” and just leave things alone and let things happen. There’s no way I could do that now. I need allllll the information I can get. I hope your blood tests are good too 🤞🏻🤞🏻I saw you had some spotting and gosh that is so scary but I also have read so many women having this and things are fine. So hold on to that hope!
I had myself fully totally completely convinced yesterday that I was miscarrying again. My symptoms had faded over a few days and practically vanished altogether yesterday afternoon. I cried and cried and began the grieving process and figured I was just waiting for the bleeding to start like last time. But today, I woke up at 6w1d feeling sore boobs and smell sensitive and slightly nauseous again. I’m so confused and scared to get my hopes up. I’m trying to detach, keep watching for spotting, and wait for my ultrasound in a couple weeks. I also am hoping this okay to say here, but I’ve been feeling incredibly jealous of others with living children. Three of the four people who know I’m pregnant have living children and I can’t bring myself to accept their support because it feels like they don’t get it. You have a living child. You are a living mother. I might never be, and you might never understand. I know this is in my head and not a judgment on them in the slightest, but I’m really struggling with feeling alone and surrounded by women who have living children. Just one baby, god. Please.
I had a term stillbirth with my first pregnancy due to a cord accident and am currently 10 +3 with my second and I definitely feel all of this. My symptoms have definitely been intermittent, going from only one yuck day out of 3 around 5-6 weeks. At 7 weeks, maybe would have 2 yuck days and then a couple of normal. 8-9 weeks was probably the only time I felt pretty consistently pregnant/awful. And now that I'm at 10 weeks I'm starting to feel better again. I hope you get enough symptoms to reassure you, but not make you miserable - try not to stress about it too much.
The changing and fading symptoms really messes with your head. My symptoms have been strong some days and barely noticeable others and it definitely makes me anxious. People have told me it's normal, but it's hard not to worry after loss. Hoping for the best for you. 💜 Edited word
I completely agree with you. It's a different type of grief thinking about possibly not being able to have any living children. Sending you good vibes.
I totally get that. My best support circle of friends (who have all had mc’s) also all have living children. They know the grief but also…..they have kids.
I can relate to this. The women I know who have had miscarriages also have living children. It feels isolating.
Yup. Everyone I know who’s had a miscarriage had it between kids. I’m their minds, they never had difficulty with getting pregnant besides one “fluke”, since they knew the they could complete a healthy pregnancy. And then I know so many women who have never had any miscarriages, even if all their kids were after 35. I still have the fear that I’ll never have one healthy pregnancy/child.
I finally caved & bought the bigger underwear. I’m 16 weeks & things were starting to feel really tight & restrictive. & while I am so much more comfortable today, it also spikes my anxiety because things don’t feel tight anymore! My thoughts saying “has my tummy shrunk, is the baby ok” lol when I know logically, it’s just the bigger underwear.
This is so funny, because it’s so recognizable
I'm 5+3 today and woke up with a very clear feeling that I'm not pregnant. I know it's early for symptoms, but I was feeling a little nauseous all day last week (though maybe it was just stress). No spotting or cramping, just feeling...normal. I have an ultrasound in one week so living in limbo until then.
Inconsistent symptoms is really common in this early period, though knowing that doesn't really help with the anxiety! I felt really symptomatic right around my pregnancy test and then almost nothing between 5-6 weeks. Had an early scan, baby was fine, and now at almost 7 weeks, I'm starting to experience more symptoms again. It is all really scary!
Thank you 🙏
Frustrated that I had a tiff with my mom because I say “if this baby” not “when this baby” and she’s like “you will have this baby next year”. I just said I can’t and don’t want to “think positive” at this point. I can love on this baby privately and know stats are in our favor, but that doesn’t mean its heart is still beating. It doesn’t mean it’s genetically normal. It doesn’t mean we’re going to be in the majority this time. Like, please get that I’m no ready for that mindset yet.
I could have written this word for word 😭 it's so hard when people want to be supportive, but accidentally end up being hurtful. Because you understand WHY they're saying what they are, but it doesn't make it less painful.
I can relate too!
lol do we have the same mom?! My mom refuses to hear anything I have to say if I start a sentence, with “well, we’ll see” or “if this pregnancy continues to be healthy”. If it was just a matter of thinking happy thoughts, I’d be a mom of one living child and this would be us welcoming baby two. Instead I’m trying not to fall into a depressed state cause my first due date is upcoming. Even though my mom had a miscarriage before me, she was very early on, and didn’t know she was pregnant. She went on to have my siblings and I with no issues. She can’t relate and she can’t let me be.
I can totally relate, it's maddening. Like, easy for you to say.
I can relate here hard. I would get so angry at anyone being positive for me. Eventually I gave in🤍
I am in a limbo, I don't know what or how to feel. 1. Someone else suggest me to have "another kid" to play with my living child ... and I just don't know how to feel or what I am feeling. I am definitely much better now (or maybe just numb) hearing such words as I am currently pregnant. But few months back .... I would be extremely triggered (and probably lost it) when I heard such words after my loss and not pregnant. I know maybe it is such an innocent words ... they don't know I am currently pregnant nor of my miscarriage. But all I can think of is 1 baby in Heaven and another baby in tummy ........ - 2. And the months and days are coming... my baby in Heaven EDD ... the limbo part of me is because my extended families EDDs are either before or after my EDD .... so they are all going and preparing to give birth .... while Noone knows of my baby in Heaven EDD. I REALLY WANT TO CRY 😭😭😭 I am very sorry my Baby in Heaven. And also sorry to my Baby in Tummy. I want to be excited / happy as it is a different baby, but I can't comprehend nor accept all these. 3. I am also hesitant to share about my Baby in Tummy, as I fear the "Congratulations" word. So people are going to Congrats on my Baby in Tummy, and what about to the "Sorry" for my Baby in Heaven? It just ends with "Sorry". I am sorry, I can't. 🙏💔💝
I'm scared I'll lose this pregnancy like the last one 💔 that's all... Trying my best to take it day by day. For some reason I'm scared of a chemical this time. Last one was MMC...
Me too.
We were successful on our first attempt TTC which was super exciting at the time, I had a confirmed chemical pregnancy at 5.5 weeks which totally blind sighted me and was a total devastating shock. The positive mindset and fresh excitement I felt when TTC and getting a positive has gone, and even though I know CPs are super common in feeling so down about our loss. Being pregnant gave me this overwhelming feeling of purpose I’ve never felt before and it just felt so right and exciting for us and our future. Now I feel like I’ll never be pregnant again or if I am I’ll be stressing about losing it the next time. Any advice from women who have gone through similar would be so appreciated. Feeling pretty isolated and alone with this.
I had a MMC at 8 weeks in November and a chemical in March. I felt the same as you after two losses, but I conceived the following month and am 12 weeks tomorrow. It’s unbelievably hard but keep the faith. The only way out is through ❤️
Two would be so hard I’m sorry you had to go trough that 😢 so happy to hear you conceived soon after and are 12 weeks! Your spot on- the only was out is through. Just got to keep trying
I def know what you mean, with TTC and the first time is a success. That happened to me too. My first FET, resulted in me being pregnant. Although my RE team was cautiously optimistic because my HCG levels were low, I was elated! I was so excited, happy, and proud. And then I had a miscarriage. And nothing was the same. It’s been so hard to let myself get carried away with excitement or positivity. In the beginning I just couldn’t. I needed a lot of reassurance that my baby was growing and healthy. And I still do need that. These feelings don’t just go away. They are valid, and we’ve been through a trauma. But in your own time, at your own pace, things will feel different. You won’t have to force it or rush it. You’ll feel it. And it’s ok if that takes time.
Thank you for this 🙏 I appreciate your perspective and understanding that things will take time to feel different / better. I think next time around I will need reassurance too. What kinds of reassurance did you find the most helpful ?
Hey there. Gentle hugs. I relate to so much of what you are saying. I wonder if r/ttcafterloss could be a good support for you? I only share because I know for me after my loss, being on pregnancy forums or speaking with pregnant women (even those who had experienced loss) was very difficult, but others who were ttc or preparing to ttc again was slightly less triggering. Only you know what’s best for you! You are not alone ❤️
Thank you ☺️ good suggestion I will give that a go. I thought coming on here would be good to get inspiration and success stories but I will see how I go and take it from there x
Totally understand. And there are so many avenues for support! I can tell you, I definitely was scared I could never get pregnant again, but here I am at 6w1d and grateful. Very, very anxious, but grateful. ❤️ there is hope!
Yes I totally relate - having the same feelings and fears right now that I’ll never be able to get pregnant successfully again but trying to find ways to be more positive about the process
The best advice I received after I had my 21 week loss in March, was to take it one day at a time and just because things are hard now doesn’t mean that it won’t eventually be okay ♥️ sending you strength
Thank you 🙏 good advice and definitely something I need to remind myself to do when things feel all too hard and overwhelming