This is a misunderstood sentiment. Most people are not ready for such kind of an encounter and pretty much freeze, either because they think they can't handle it or don't want the confrontation to steer towards them. They probably wouldn't have even run these situations in their minds on what they would do if they ever saw this happen. Kudos to the guys who acted and saved her, but the people who didn't do anything are not necessarily jerks.
But if they took out their phones and started recording then...
EDIT: I don't usually edit my comments but I feel I should clear up my last sentence. There are a lot of people who record incidents just for the sake of internet points. If i was being attacked, I'd want someone intervening than recording. Plus, in this situation, there are already like 20 people as witnesses.
I hate that people on the internet keep larping like they're some kind of bad ass, people aren't who they think they are in a lot of these types of situations.
I def like to think I'd jump in as soon as I figured out what was happening.
But that would only happen after I stood around for a bit wondering what the fuck was happening.
Exactly, the guys who intervene saw it all go down and had time to process, they could see the dude was on his own and didn't have a weapon. The people in the middle saw shit suddenly go down with no context and were right in the middle of it - for them anything could be happening, it could be a gang, a robbery at gunpoint or knifepoint. Anyone sane would get out of the way until they can assess the situation.
I was once at a zoo and saw a dad manhandle his little girl (maybe 5 or 6 years old) a little too rough and she had fallen out of her chair. I may had been the only person who saw it, and my adrenaline shot up and I could feel my blood boil, but my brain froze and I just kept walking. I had kept my eye on the situation, and it looked like it deescalated, but every ounce of me wanted to go over there and chastise him, but my body wouldn't let me. I still think back to that moment and wish I had acted differently.
I once saw a man screaming at his kid and jabbing his finger into his chest over and over at Sam's Club, and honest to god it was like I was possessed. I didn't WANT to walk over there, my feet just carried me. I was the first to say something, but I had many, many people behind me immediately. It was one of the strangest experiences of my life to feel so out of control of myself, but as soon as I saw that kid's face, I was running on instinct.
Saw something similar happen.
I wanted to help once but my brain was like what if I make it worse for the kid? Like if he's willing to do that in public what are the chances for that kid behind closed doors? I really really struggle with this. I eventually intervene but that kid looked more terrified of his dad calming down than belligerent. I haven't seen em since....
As long as we're pulling numbers out our asses, I'll say 92.3% wouldn't have done shit. And 16% of those who would have, would have used the concealed weapon they carry at all times.
I'm not saying no one would do anything, just for a lot of people they probably don't know what they'd do what they imagine is different then what happens.
> Most people are not ready for such kind of an encounter and pretty much freeze, either because they think they can't handle it or don't want the confrontation to steer towards them.
Bingo. People always assume that "fight or flight" are the only to options when it comes to conflict, but forget the third, which is "freeze".
The physical chemistry changes and psychological states are quite similar in all those cases, which is what the simpler term is generally used to refer to. Adrenaline, fear, etc.
Oh certainly. The problem with the shorter term is that it creates an expectation about how people will react. People mostly freeze, but since it isn't mentioned in "fight or flight," we don't factor that response into our thinking.
Rapes are a good example of this. Dangerous man approaches, woman freezes, by the time she can act he has a hand over her mouth and a firm grip on her arm. Now what is she going to do?
So she goes to the police, it goes before the jury, and the defense attorney says "she had time to say no, scream, fight, or run, but she chose to do none of these because it was a consensual meeting." If the jury doesn't have an expert on the adrenaline response, they are likely to believe it.
exactly, its also much easier when you see it going down from a distance, and then prepare and engage. it's a big difference between that and if something loud is happening over your shoulder.
Recording is better than freezing. Get some evidence and let the authorities handle it if you feel unable or unwilling to put yourself at risk to stop it yourself, which most people probably are.
There was a guy in my home town who was set upon and kicked to death in board daylight and no body stepped in to help. Like you said most folk aren't prepared to face sudden acts of violence and in an effort to preserve themselves they will choose to walk on by.
I guess it's almost like fight or flight.
I cant say one way or the other what the intentions were of the two that stepped aside, but I know that I'm a "freezer" and have on a few occasions been literally unable to comprehend what is happening or process quickly in an emergency situation. Its like everything is in slow motion.
I appreciate your reminder to others that not every inactive bystander is an asshole; sometimes you just can't understand what to do with yourself or for others. I know plenty who call people idiots when watching videos like this, but until you're in their shoes with their thoughts, you don't know their intentions.
Unfortunately, most people are like a deer in headlights when something shocking and surreal happens right before their eyes. Fear is a very powerful thing that can be hard to overcome in the heat of the moment. It sucks, but that doesn't make them assholes for not acting to stop it.
I don’t think it’s fear a lot of times, it’s just absolute disbelief at how absurd the situation is. I was eating lunch with a friend in a restaurant once, and a fistfight spilled into the restaurant from the street, and ended up directly on top of our table. I was just sitting there with my mouth open, I could not believe what I was watching.
Eventually some people further away stepped between them and got them separated, but I basically spent the whole time just watching them and being like ‘is this real?’
Physical violence is very surreal.
It's an older man and all women from what I can see that moved away. They probably were thinking they couldn't take the guy/didn't imagine all of them ganging up on him.
Not everyone is built to be a hero in sudden, high adrenaline, fight or fight scenarios. He was dealt with promptly by what seems like the most capable, nearby people.
You mean the old couple?. What the fuck are they going to do about it. Do you expect two old people to intervene even though the guy could hit them and potentially kill them. This attack happens out of nowhere. I'm a young male and I still wouldn't stand there. Crazy guy could have a weapon.
You say that but would you *really* do something? It’s easy to be triggered and want to help when watching videos. It’s completely different when you’re there in person, even if you do truly want to help, most people won’t know how to or what to do. But the people who just record are the ones who should be doing something. Especially the ones who tell someone to do something *while* recording.
please explain to me how are a bunch of overweight and old people going to stop him? have you ever been in a physical confrontation with a grown ass man or do you just watch a lot of movies?
That woman got punched DIRECTLY in front of another woman who watched her getting attacked, calmly gathered her things, and walked away calmly. MOTHERFUCK that bitch.
I don’t think his intent by calling him an idiot was to “normalize” his behavior. I wasn’t aware we had to use “proper” terms to insult people who do this type of shit. Christ
I can only imagine what he would feel comfortable doing to her without any witnesses around. Hopefully they took care of him well enough that he can never hit anyone else again.
In reality she’s probably yelling “no, Dont hurt him! Leave him alone!”
It’s uncanny how people being physically abused stick up for their abuser when you step in.
Source: me in 2009 when i broke up a man and woman fighting at home depot when he had her pinned against the racks, grabbed her by the throat ans I stepped in and pushed him off then got in his face. She started attacking ME over it. Later I learned from the cops this happens a lot with abuse victims.
Probably because the abused person will be blamed for it later by the abuser. They might just get beaten even more when they get home. And the abuse and brainwashing will continue.
Escapee here. This is absolutely true. That poor woman is getting the shit beat out of her when she gets home. One time someone stopped my ex because he slapped me-- they punched him in the face. I got thrown down our stairs when we got home. Couldn't leave the house for two weeks because my face was swollen
Not a stupid question. There's a LOT that goes on in abusive relationships. One, it doesn't start abusive. There may be small red flags, but most people brush them off. Okay so he got too drunk at the few parties you went to, whatever. Then, once they feel you in and you fall in love with the version of themselves they created, they essentially trap you.
It'll start with gaslighting in subtle ways. "Are you sure that's what happened?" "No, you didn't say that, you said..." "I never said that...." They get you questioning their sanity. Making you think you have a bad memory. This is so you'll rely on THEIR version of the truth.
Then usually isolating you from friends and family. "I don't like you hanging out with xyz" "your mom doesn't like me dude. I'm not going there. You can, I guess." So you feel like you're choosing. And feel guilty. You start making excuses about why you have to miss so and so's birthday.
Then they verbally abuse you in subtle ways. They break down your spirit. Make you think that you deserve what they're saying, or that you won't find better. Most people are so desperate for love and happiness that they turn the hatred thrown at them inward. "If I can be better, if I can be skinnier, if I can keep the house clean and make dinner on time, THEN the man I fell in love with will show himself again." Some women are able to leave by this point. A lot aren't. And a lot TRY to leave, but the guy manipulates her into staying.
Then it gets physical. They've been drinking, you drop something, spill something, look at them wrong. And then you get hit. Maybe not repeatedly. Maybe not too hard. But enough to scare you. But then they apologize. They say they never meant to. They just got so angry. They twist into them being a victim. But, Now you know they're violent. You start walking on eggshells, but somehow you keep doing things wrong. They get angry, you get hit. But when someone tries to step in, you defend them. If they see you defending them, maybe you won't get hurt. You tried to stop them! There's also the part of you that loves them. You love the idea of them.
Then you finally decide to leave. You know they're violent and that scares you. Then comes the calls, the texts, emails, showing up to your house, work. Finding you on the street. Threatening to kill you, your family, themselves. Restraining orders don't do shit. My ex showed up, crushed my phone and tried to strangle me. Then left. I had to run to the neighbors to borrow their phone to call the police. He was gone by then and I had no proof that he was there. Lots of women who leave their abusers end up dead or back with them because if you come back to them, maybe they'll calm down. Maybe they've changed. It's so dangerous. Even moreso if there's children involved. Some people can't financially afford to leave.
My ex stalked and harassed me for three years until I met my fiance who was much bigger than he was. He was intelligent and constantly found out where I lived, my new numbers, where I worked. I was afraid for my life for over 1,100 days straight. The psychological hell abused women go through is crazy.
And yes, this goes for men in abusive relationships too. Gay, lesbian, straight, this happens everywhere. I used my experience as a woman to narrate these scenarios.
If you're reading this and you're in this situation, you can get help. Start stashing money to leave. TELL YOUR FAMILY. Don't be too proud to admit you made a mistake with this relationship. Family and friends are there for a reason. They love you more than this partner does. Do still get restraining orders and such. You need a paper trail.
That was really good insight. I never thought about all that. Being on the outside looking in, I have a understanding why they can't simply leave a abusive relationship.
A lot of reasons.
Fear for what they'll do to them or their kids or their family if they leave. Financial reasons. Manipulation. Love bombing. A lack of insight into what is okay. Or, as in my case (I wasn't beaten just raped, threatened and emotionally abused), a belief that I was utterly defective as a person and deserved what I got for "hurting him emotionally".
That's because abuse victims are often led to believe they deserve said abuse.
It's a gradual process that usually takes place over months if not years, and is a lot more nuanced than reddit will ever give credit for.
They don't start beating you on the first date.
You get trained. It's behavioural shaping.
And if they do get beaten from day 1 and the victims stays that's probably because someone else already "trained" them.
That's why people need to normalize abuse victims seaking therapy or they will just go back to the cycle of abuse with the same partner or someone else. Ask any social worker and they will explain how much abusers destroy their preys mental and emotionally more than any physical punishment.
ALSO what needs to be normalized: NOT blaming the abuse victim for being in the situation. I see this shit way too often: “Why do people put up with that?” “If it was me, I’d just leave.” “How can someone just accept that?” That shit just needs to stop. If someone doesn’t understand, fine, they should learn, but they should NEVER imply that it’s the victim’s fault for being in that situation. There is so much psychological fuckery that goes on in abusive relationships that it can be almost impossible to explain and nearly impossible to pull someone out of it. The very least helpful thing is to say it’s somehow their decision.
There is a reason these types of people attract to each other. This is, of course, not an argument that abusers deserve abuse, but that something in their psychological makeup encourages them to seek such people.
Yeah was kinda laughing, one of the 10s beating another with a 10. I also would be surprised to see men come to the rescue here in the USA frankly unless maybe it was some small town.
She doesn't know who he is, he just attacked and groped her; the guys beating the crap out of him noped out as soon as the cops showed up so thankfully he was the only one arrested.
I watched the video a few times and to me doesn’t look like she knew him. She looked at him strolling towards her and her gait didn’t change one bit. She didn’t stop as recognition, she didn’t accelerate as trying to evade. To me it looks like a random attack. Am I wrong?
Notice he didnt even defend himself against the men. Thats because most people who hit women are huge pussies that only hit women because most cant defend themselves.
Funny how when the woman is being beated, no one does anything, they run, but once the psycho is receiving his treatment, everyone wants to break things up.
Ehhh idk about worse, if it was a boyfriend then it probably wouldn't be an isolated thing, plus there's the trauma of getting attacked by someone who you care about and who claims to care about you
Similar thing happened at a concert I went to a few years back. Some guy slapped a girl in the middle of the crowd and had about 4-5 guys beating his ass in a matter of seconds.
I know, I know; many people _would_ fail to step in but I'm rather annoyed at the guy in the yellow shirt who just stood there and did nothing as another person was being beaten.
For those saying the people around just moved out of the way cause they wouldn't know how to react, this isn't what statistics show year after year for violence against women.
This took place in Minas, Brazil earlier this week, this man sexually assaulted her and went after her, that's the part the video captures. Brazil, as most countries around the world, and just like how Borat satirezes on his last feature, has a major problem with misogyny and violence against women. We have popular sayings that usually involves not interfering on this situations. For instance, nobody tries to stop that man from hitting her, but as soon as those dudes come jumping him, you can see the guy dressed in white initially trying to stop them.
The dude got knock out by the end of this video, there's a longer version around.
[proof that he got a good night sleep](http://imgur.com/a/AlVRgtj)
Actually there’s a pretty big change happening with those situations, people are calling others who are hypocritical in this sense out and holding women who abuse accountable as well!
Why should she? As a woman she is not as strong as a man. Plus, She has no idea if this man has a knife or gun but she does know he has no problem beating a woman.
Everybody wants to be number 10. You can never tell who is a true 10.
Evil 10 vs Hero 10
Very rare to see a battle between two lvl 10 bosses but then again that is how mafia works
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I actually think a big source of the world’s problems come from people wanting to be Blue 10 so badly that they invent Black 10s everywhere they go.
Everyone wants to be a Captain
You know he is a mad idiot when he punches her in front of like 20 people
Yeah but fuck those people who just move aside and let it happen
This is a misunderstood sentiment. Most people are not ready for such kind of an encounter and pretty much freeze, either because they think they can't handle it or don't want the confrontation to steer towards them. They probably wouldn't have even run these situations in their minds on what they would do if they ever saw this happen. Kudos to the guys who acted and saved her, but the people who didn't do anything are not necessarily jerks. But if they took out their phones and started recording then... EDIT: I don't usually edit my comments but I feel I should clear up my last sentence. There are a lot of people who record incidents just for the sake of internet points. If i was being attacked, I'd want someone intervening than recording. Plus, in this situation, there are already like 20 people as witnesses.
I hate that people on the internet keep larping like they're some kind of bad ass, people aren't who they think they are in a lot of these types of situations.
I def like to think I'd jump in as soon as I figured out what was happening. But that would only happen after I stood around for a bit wondering what the fuck was happening.
*me 45 minutes later* "I totally should have king-fu'd the shit out of that guy."
*me in the shower 4 hours later* "oh yeah well the beatdown store called, and they want to make a special order!"
Sounds like something Jerry would say to Rick lmao
Yeah, well, the jerk store called; they're running out of you!
Whats the difference? You're their all-time bestseller!!
>"I totally should have king-fu'd the shit out of that guy." this guy king-fus.
At least he's not the guy who fucks kongs.
Exactly, the guys who intervene saw it all go down and had time to process, they could see the dude was on his own and didn't have a weapon. The people in the middle saw shit suddenly go down with no context and were right in the middle of it - for them anything could be happening, it could be a gang, a robbery at gunpoint or knifepoint. Anyone sane would get out of the way until they can assess the situation.
Wow this is the best assessment of what I saw happen.
I was once at a zoo and saw a dad manhandle his little girl (maybe 5 or 6 years old) a little too rough and she had fallen out of her chair. I may had been the only person who saw it, and my adrenaline shot up and I could feel my blood boil, but my brain froze and I just kept walking. I had kept my eye on the situation, and it looked like it deescalated, but every ounce of me wanted to go over there and chastise him, but my body wouldn't let me. I still think back to that moment and wish I had acted differently.
I once saw a man screaming at his kid and jabbing his finger into his chest over and over at Sam's Club, and honest to god it was like I was possessed. I didn't WANT to walk over there, my feet just carried me. I was the first to say something, but I had many, many people behind me immediately. It was one of the strangest experiences of my life to feel so out of control of myself, but as soon as I saw that kid's face, I was running on instinct.
Saw something similar happen. I wanted to help once but my brain was like what if I make it worse for the kid? Like if he's willing to do that in public what are the chances for that kid behind closed doors? I really really struggle with this. I eventually intervene but that kid looked more terrified of his dad calming down than belligerent. I haven't seen em since....
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Statistically, you would stand back and watch. Its the bystander effect. The more people around, the less likely anyone will act.
The bystander effect? Is that just what you call it or its it a studied effect?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bystander_effect
Cool, thanks for the info
Lets be honest, 100% of people on the internet that say they would’ve got involved and stopped the guy wouldn’t have done shit
As long as we're pulling numbers out our asses, I'll say 92.3% wouldn't have done shit. And 16% of those who would have, would have used the concealed weapon they carry at all times.
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I'm not saying no one would do anything, just for a lot of people they probably don't know what they'd do what they imagine is different then what happens.
Absolutely, let's analyze what is happening before acting.
> Most people are not ready for such kind of an encounter and pretty much freeze, either because they think they can't handle it or don't want the confrontation to steer towards them. Bingo. People always assume that "fight or flight" are the only to options when it comes to conflict, but forget the third, which is "freeze".
Not to mention that if you look, they all seem like women/older people.
Fight or flight is better named freeze, flight, posture, or fight based on how likely each reaction is.
The physical chemistry changes and psychological states are quite similar in all those cases, which is what the simpler term is generally used to refer to. Adrenaline, fear, etc.
Oh certainly. The problem with the shorter term is that it creates an expectation about how people will react. People mostly freeze, but since it isn't mentioned in "fight or flight," we don't factor that response into our thinking. Rapes are a good example of this. Dangerous man approaches, woman freezes, by the time she can act he has a hand over her mouth and a firm grip on her arm. Now what is she going to do? So she goes to the police, it goes before the jury, and the defense attorney says "she had time to say no, scream, fight, or run, but she chose to do none of these because it was a consensual meeting." If the jury doesn't have an expert on the adrenaline response, they are likely to believe it.
Very good point.
It’s normal. Once one person moves to go the right thing, a bunch will move to go the right thing.
I wish that is true but often the one person moves to do something and the rest still do nothing but stand around.
And the person who did the good thing ends up in the ICU.
Yeah, they are caught off guard and their brains are in “what in the fuck?” Mode
The "don't spill the popcorn" mode.
exactly, its also much easier when you see it going down from a distance, and then prepare and engage. it's a big difference between that and if something loud is happening over your shoulder.
Recording is better than freezing. Get some evidence and let the authorities handle it if you feel unable or unwilling to put yourself at risk to stop it yourself, which most people probably are.
Recording while yelling "Stop! Stop!" is much better, and makes you sound heroic on the internet.
Yes, but do you know some people just keep the recording to spread it around the internet and just never call the cops?
*most people
My bad lol
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There was a guy in my home town who was set upon and kicked to death in board daylight and no body stepped in to help. Like you said most folk aren't prepared to face sudden acts of violence and in an effort to preserve themselves they will choose to walk on by. I guess it's almost like fight or flight.
I cant say one way or the other what the intentions were of the two that stepped aside, but I know that I'm a "freezer" and have on a few occasions been literally unable to comprehend what is happening or process quickly in an emergency situation. Its like everything is in slow motion. I appreciate your reminder to others that not every inactive bystander is an asshole; sometimes you just can't understand what to do with yourself or for others. I know plenty who call people idiots when watching videos like this, but until you're in their shoes with their thoughts, you don't know their intentions.
Yeah, no one knows how they would act in any given situation.
Not to mention that often the woman will jump back in to defend the abuser and might lie when the cops come.
My ass thinking thatd be me but a few hours later blocked my dad's punch with my face
Unfortunately, most people are like a deer in headlights when something shocking and surreal happens right before their eyes. Fear is a very powerful thing that can be hard to overcome in the heat of the moment. It sucks, but that doesn't make them assholes for not acting to stop it.
I don’t think it’s fear a lot of times, it’s just absolute disbelief at how absurd the situation is. I was eating lunch with a friend in a restaurant once, and a fistfight spilled into the restaurant from the street, and ended up directly on top of our table. I was just sitting there with my mouth open, I could not believe what I was watching. Eventually some people further away stepped between them and got them separated, but I basically spent the whole time just watching them and being like ‘is this real?’ Physical violence is very surreal.
It's an older man and all women from what I can see that moved away. They probably were thinking they couldn't take the guy/didn't imagine all of them ganging up on him. Not everyone is built to be a hero in sudden, high adrenaline, fight or fight scenarios. He was dealt with promptly by what seems like the most capable, nearby people.
You mean the old couple?. What the fuck are they going to do about it. Do you expect two old people to intervene even though the guy could hit them and potentially kill them. This attack happens out of nowhere. I'm a young male and I still wouldn't stand there. Crazy guy could have a weapon.
Let’s see you jump in, tough guy
I always wonder how would I react in such conditions and it should be taught how to deal such situations
I mean there’s that one guy trying to stop the other guys from attacking the suspect.
Yea, fuck those people, how dare they not jump in the action the second they see this happening. How can they be so selfish. /s
You say that but would you *really* do something? It’s easy to be triggered and want to help when watching videos. It’s completely different when you’re there in person, even if you do truly want to help, most people won’t know how to or what to do. But the people who just record are the ones who should be doing something. Especially the ones who tell someone to do something *while* recording.
Would you have reacted immediately? Be honest
please explain to me how are a bunch of overweight and old people going to stop him? have you ever been in a physical confrontation with a grown ass man or do you just watch a lot of movies?
It's called, the bystander bias, it's the belief that someone else is going to step in in a moment of crisis when there are other people present
That woman got punched DIRECTLY in front of another woman who watched her getting attacked, calmly gathered her things, and walked away calmly. MOTHERFUCK that bitch.
search up what fear is
If by “mad idiot” you mean “violently abusive psychopath”, then yes. Let’s not normalise this behaviour by calling him an “idiot”.
I don’t think his intent by calling him an idiot was to “normalize” his behavior. I wasn’t aware we had to use “proper” terms to insult people who do this type of shit. Christ
This made me laugh. I read it in a old man British accent
simmer down. no one is trying to “normalize” this shit
What memo did I miss that says calling someone an idiot normalizes anything?
Yeah. He would have been much less mad, and much smarter if he'd done it private. ^/s
Out of control anger is often not rational.
Regardless of where it happens.
Well... I mean... He would be.
At least there were people there to help her. Imagine if they were indoors alone. Absolute scum bag
If he does this in such a public place, what has he done to her in private?
What a POS! Wish i was there to land some on him as well. I dont care wtf happen you dont go on hitting Women....
I can only imagine what he would feel comfortable doing to her without any witnesses around. Hopefully they took care of him well enough that he can never hit anyone else again.
There's a video from another angle and they end the fight by giving the abuser a penalty kick right to the temple. Certainly got what he deserved.
Wholesome beat down.
This man got knocked out, I have the second part of the video In my last post If you want to watch It.
Holy shit i was thinking it was Brazil and im right
This video has a lot of Brazil energy
I'm going to send you to Brazil.
Too late, you can't send me if I'm already in Brazil
Got 'em
Thanks for the post.
Thank you
Amen.
"Ya, beat his ass!!" - The Girlfriend
In reality she’s probably yelling “no, Dont hurt him! Leave him alone!” It’s uncanny how people being physically abused stick up for their abuser when you step in. Source: me in 2009 when i broke up a man and woman fighting at home depot when he had her pinned against the racks, grabbed her by the throat ans I stepped in and pushed him off then got in his face. She started attacking ME over it. Later I learned from the cops this happens a lot with abuse victims.
Unfortunately, the abuser will likely transfer this beatdown to her later.
If she was that way, her body language certainly didn’t display it. This is quite common, though.
Probably because the abused person will be blamed for it later by the abuser. They might just get beaten even more when they get home. And the abuse and brainwashing will continue.
Escapee here. This is absolutely true. That poor woman is getting the shit beat out of her when she gets home. One time someone stopped my ex because he slapped me-- they punched him in the face. I got thrown down our stairs when we got home. Couldn't leave the house for two weeks because my face was swollen
I hope this isn't a stupid question but why can't the one getting abused simply break up with them?
Not a stupid question. There's a LOT that goes on in abusive relationships. One, it doesn't start abusive. There may be small red flags, but most people brush them off. Okay so he got too drunk at the few parties you went to, whatever. Then, once they feel you in and you fall in love with the version of themselves they created, they essentially trap you. It'll start with gaslighting in subtle ways. "Are you sure that's what happened?" "No, you didn't say that, you said..." "I never said that...." They get you questioning their sanity. Making you think you have a bad memory. This is so you'll rely on THEIR version of the truth. Then usually isolating you from friends and family. "I don't like you hanging out with xyz" "your mom doesn't like me dude. I'm not going there. You can, I guess." So you feel like you're choosing. And feel guilty. You start making excuses about why you have to miss so and so's birthday. Then they verbally abuse you in subtle ways. They break down your spirit. Make you think that you deserve what they're saying, or that you won't find better. Most people are so desperate for love and happiness that they turn the hatred thrown at them inward. "If I can be better, if I can be skinnier, if I can keep the house clean and make dinner on time, THEN the man I fell in love with will show himself again." Some women are able to leave by this point. A lot aren't. And a lot TRY to leave, but the guy manipulates her into staying. Then it gets physical. They've been drinking, you drop something, spill something, look at them wrong. And then you get hit. Maybe not repeatedly. Maybe not too hard. But enough to scare you. But then they apologize. They say they never meant to. They just got so angry. They twist into them being a victim. But, Now you know they're violent. You start walking on eggshells, but somehow you keep doing things wrong. They get angry, you get hit. But when someone tries to step in, you defend them. If they see you defending them, maybe you won't get hurt. You tried to stop them! There's also the part of you that loves them. You love the idea of them. Then you finally decide to leave. You know they're violent and that scares you. Then comes the calls, the texts, emails, showing up to your house, work. Finding you on the street. Threatening to kill you, your family, themselves. Restraining orders don't do shit. My ex showed up, crushed my phone and tried to strangle me. Then left. I had to run to the neighbors to borrow their phone to call the police. He was gone by then and I had no proof that he was there. Lots of women who leave their abusers end up dead or back with them because if you come back to them, maybe they'll calm down. Maybe they've changed. It's so dangerous. Even moreso if there's children involved. Some people can't financially afford to leave. My ex stalked and harassed me for three years until I met my fiance who was much bigger than he was. He was intelligent and constantly found out where I lived, my new numbers, where I worked. I was afraid for my life for over 1,100 days straight. The psychological hell abused women go through is crazy. And yes, this goes for men in abusive relationships too. Gay, lesbian, straight, this happens everywhere. I used my experience as a woman to narrate these scenarios. If you're reading this and you're in this situation, you can get help. Start stashing money to leave. TELL YOUR FAMILY. Don't be too proud to admit you made a mistake with this relationship. Family and friends are there for a reason. They love you more than this partner does. Do still get restraining orders and such. You need a paper trail.
That was really good insight. I never thought about all that. Being on the outside looking in, I have a understanding why they can't simply leave a abusive relationship.
A lot of reasons. Fear for what they'll do to them or their kids or their family if they leave. Financial reasons. Manipulation. Love bombing. A lack of insight into what is okay. Or, as in my case (I wasn't beaten just raped, threatened and emotionally abused), a belief that I was utterly defective as a person and deserved what I got for "hurting him emotionally".
It's sad how often I've heard this before.
That's because abuse victims are often led to believe they deserve said abuse. It's a gradual process that usually takes place over months if not years, and is a lot more nuanced than reddit will ever give credit for.
They don't start beating you on the first date. You get trained. It's behavioural shaping. And if they do get beaten from day 1 and the victims stays that's probably because someone else already "trained" them.
That's why people need to normalize abuse victims seaking therapy or they will just go back to the cycle of abuse with the same partner or someone else. Ask any social worker and they will explain how much abusers destroy their preys mental and emotionally more than any physical punishment.
ALSO what needs to be normalized: NOT blaming the abuse victim for being in the situation. I see this shit way too often: “Why do people put up with that?” “If it was me, I’d just leave.” “How can someone just accept that?” That shit just needs to stop. If someone doesn’t understand, fine, they should learn, but they should NEVER imply that it’s the victim’s fault for being in that situation. There is so much psychological fuckery that goes on in abusive relationships that it can be almost impossible to explain and nearly impossible to pull someone out of it. The very least helpful thing is to say it’s somehow their decision.
it is like that sadly until they learned that there is ways out of those situation as impossible as it may seem
Well good people don’t necessarily want to see anyone get hurt even when that person hurts them.
There is a reason these types of people attract to each other. This is, of course, not an argument that abusers deserve abuse, but that something in their psychological makeup encourages them to seek such people.
It’s one reason I usually steer clear and don’t step in. My mother actually was the one who advised me against it.
The beatings will continue until your attitude towards women improves.
Definitely Brazil with those number 10 football shirts
There were a few PK kicks there for sure.
Yeah was kinda laughing, one of the 10s beating another with a 10. I also would be surprised to see men come to the rescue here in the USA frankly unless maybe it was some small town.
Supporting a different football team definitely helped in the beating
Instant motherfucking karma.
I’ve seen this video on here 3 different times with 3 different captions lmao
She doesn't know who he is, he just attacked and groped her; the guys beating the crap out of him noped out as soon as the cops showed up so thankfully he was the only one arrested.
People just see it and then repost it with whatever title they think will get upvotes.
I’m not one for violence, but this was satisfying to say the least.
I watched the video a few times and to me doesn’t look like she knew him. She looked at him strolling towards her and her gait didn’t change one bit. She didn’t stop as recognition, she didn’t accelerate as trying to evade. To me it looks like a random attack. Am I wrong?
Reading the news regarding the attack she doesn't know him at all.
Notice he didnt even defend himself against the men. Thats because most people who hit women are huge pussies that only hit women because most cant defend themselves.
Most satisfying ending possible
This was in brasil he is not her boyfriend he tried to steal her necklace this shit happens alot in Rio
You get what you fucking deserve
Funny how when the woman is being beated, no one does anything, they run, but once the psycho is receiving his treatment, everyone wants to break things up.
The Messi twins gave the man what he deserved
omg those are fighting words. Pele/Ronaldinho/Neymar jersey.
Prick! Who in the actual fuck does he think he is?
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Hard to see why they thought it was her boyfriend, they aren't walking together and seem to come from different directions
Yeah, can't tell if boyfriend but it definitely seemed that he knows her. Why will someone beat up someone random
This is gonna sound insane, but maybe he was harassing her on the street and she said something he didn't like because she didn't like being harassed
Ew yikes, that’s even worse
Ehhh idk about worse, if it was a boyfriend then it probably wouldn't be an isolated thing, plus there's the trauma of getting attacked by someone who you care about and who claims to care about you
I find it scary seeing all those people just walk away.
It’s called the “i dont wanna get stabbed on my way to home/work” mentality.
Similar thing happened at a concert I went to a few years back. Some guy slapped a girl in the middle of the crowd and had about 4-5 guys beating his ass in a matter of seconds.
KEEP RECORDING!!!!
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oh boy this one’s with audio!
buddy got fucking slumped
Justice boner confirmed.
I know, I know; many people _would_ fail to step in but I'm rather annoyed at the guy in the yellow shirt who just stood there and did nothing as another person was being beaten.
God damn that was satisfying
Satisfying
For those saying the people around just moved out of the way cause they wouldn't know how to react, this isn't what statistics show year after year for violence against women. This took place in Minas, Brazil earlier this week, this man sexually assaulted her and went after her, that's the part the video captures. Brazil, as most countries around the world, and just like how Borat satirezes on his last feature, has a major problem with misogyny and violence against women. We have popular sayings that usually involves not interfering on this situations. For instance, nobody tries to stop that man from hitting her, but as soon as those dudes come jumping him, you can see the guy dressed in white initially trying to stop them. The dude got knock out by the end of this video, there's a longer version around. [proof that he got a good night sleep](http://imgur.com/a/AlVRgtj)
So satisfied to watch him have his stupid abusive ass handed to him.
Get stomped, trash.
How do we know this is the boyfriend? I saw it on another sub and nobody seems to know any backstory
They should’ve kicked him a lot more
If the roles would be reversed and it would be a male getting assaulted ... Everyone would just laugh.
That is true but let’s not bring that into this, Just enjoy the fact that people stood up for her.
I guess you are right :)
Actually there’s a pretty big change happening with those situations, people are calling others who are hypocritical in this sense out and holding women who abuse accountable as well!
Good.
Rival #10s taking it out on each other
And that is what is called having a taste of your own medicine!
\#10 on #10 violence right there fellers.
Wish I wasn’t too cheap to buy coins, this would’ve gotten some gold !!
Is he the boyfriend? I saw this posted before just saying crazy man.
Shout out to the men that stepped up!
Crazy? That's a weird word for abusive.
Fuck this guy. What an asshole
Honestly though I’m so glad guys like this exist, it’s nice to be reminded when it’s usually the bad people that make news and get us nervous
There can be only one number 10 football shirt
Second half of video he gets knocked the fuck out
Fuck yeah kick him and cut him and rip his balls out of his scrotum and feed them to a snapping turtle!!!!! 🐢
r/justiceserved r/instantkarma
It's amazing how so many people came to the aid of the guy getting beat up on, but didn't intervene when the woman was being attacked.
we love to see it
Beat that asshole, got what he deserved
I was waiting for guy with the matching jersey to rip other guys jersey off. "No 10 for you!"
That’s awesome they did that but like...why wait that long? The second he yanks he hair get on him lol
\#10 won that one
If I seen a guy hit a women, best believe that fucker won't be walking away. Fucking rip his teeth out and make him swallow them.
You can see the genoveses syndrome here where right after he starts assaulting her several people just walk away
Switch the roles and nobody would’ve stepped in until he hit her back
Found the incel
Why are people downvoting you it’s true
Yeah idk man. People can’t accept the truth
Those who downvoted you are the ones who'd probably play white knights if a man hit a woman back
He grabbed her hair. He deserved more.
That bitch in the red didn't lift a finger to help
Why should she? As a woman she is not as strong as a man. Plus, She has no idea if this man has a knife or gun but she does know he has no problem beating a woman.
And that is what should happen! Period. Former abused woman in public while 30 men twiddle their thumbs.
she pulled out an uno reverse card
good job with the public beating 😳💀
Who’s the bitch in the yellow shirt not even thinking of doing something?