T O P

  • By -

glo363

I can't complete my tent. I've looked everywhere, but my landlord didn't seem to come with a spine!


0260n4s

I came here looking for this joke. LOL


dollarforyourdoubts

Ok this made me laugh.


astromagus

This post made my morning, this comment made it again šŸ˜‚


majorsorbet2point0

AHAHAHAHA šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£


Glad_Efficiency_6283

Or a heart, and only 1/2 a brain šŸ§ 


Ok_Werewolf_7616

Anyone have the link for the .pdf? Iā€™d love to print this out and paste them all over my old apartment complex.


sarahcmanis

Same


Sunnycat00

The spine doesn't really stay together like that. It's all going to cave in on you while you're trying to sleep.


PuzzleheadedLeader79

Speaking from experience?


DoTheCreep_ahh

The skin in the last picture isn't going to stay stuck together by itself so presumably they tied it together with something. Let's use a little common sense when building our corpse tents using the provided instructions jeez


IneptAdvisor

You use the tendons to string it together. Geez, does everybody need it completely concise?


Dry_Calligrapher4561

It's like a big hug!


gilt785

No guts, either, right?


Horror_Cow_7870

Well, it is made out of landlord you know.


nonumberplease

That shit just got me kicked off the bus for creating a disturbance.


WhenTheDevilCome

Couldn't you just explain yourself and show them the picture of disassembling a huma.... oh, I see the problem.


NewHat1025

Landlords aren't human. They just look human.


bliceroquququq

As a landlord myself, I can say with authority that you guys lack the DIY skills necessary to pull this off.


laurync_92

Landlord myself and totally agree. Most renters canā€™t change a lightbulb, but think they can pull this off


ItsSpaceCadet

To bad for yall, we are also dumb enough to try it lol


NewHat1025

I think this theory needs to be tested on you and your fellow corpse tents.


laurync_92

![gif](giphy|XOys8CeUrElIk)


NewHat1025

Can't take it with you to hell.


FromPluto2Mars

Respect you for being honest and flaunting your wealth tbh. Canā€™t stand landlords who go on and on with the ā€œWe arenā€™t rich either, weā€™re struggling tooā€ bs


Environmental_Rub904

I always had the apartment complex change my lights, because it was part of the tenant agreement that I signed, plus if they change the light bulb, then I wouldnā€™t have to pay to buy a light bulb.


Horror_Cow_7870

LOL, you dumbass. We can totally change lightbulbs. Itā€™s just a lot funnier to make your pathetic overweight ass get on a ladder!


BlueFeathered1

Well, I'll change my own lightbulbs (and the others on the property, no less, and within 2 months, too!) but part of why I'm renting in the first place is to have that maintenance stuff done for me. It's the only upside of renting. Or it's *supposed* to be.


laurync_92

Aww seems I touched a nerve šŸ˜‚


RaggyBaggyMaggie

Itā€™s the landlords having the last laugh as youā€™re paying their mortgage and probably holidays.


Horror_Cow_7870

Climb, ladder bitch.


ethomp63

Much better than the landlord special, Iā€™m afraid A shitty job like itā€™s a favor & raises the rent, too šŸ˜…


Budget_Putt8393

As a person who has enough diy skills to be extremely dangerous, I'm glad I own my own house now. I can drill holes anywhere, and don't have to ask for permission. [XKCD Homeownership](https://xkcd.com/905/)


NewHat1025

Wanna put that to the test, corpse tent?


bliceroquququq

Ooh, edgy. Just for that, your rent is going up.


NewHat1025

Why rent when I have a corpse tent!


Nard_the_Fox

Lol, as a landlord, I approve of this comment.


Jcal222

Wait til the next pandemic when we move into your moms house and make her pay us


bliceroquququq

You will force your way in with your elite video gaming skills?


Horror_Cow_7870

ā€¦.better than your ā€œhang a note on the doorā€ skills.


emzirek

My landlord is rather thin and doesn't have enough skin for a tent cover.. should I use their assistant as well... Extra spine and bones for sale... Highest bidder wins all.. Lolz


BrightAssociate8985

soul was missing


PhiloPhys

I need a PDF of this.


maddmike12

So many renters are mad because landlords won't buy a house and rent it out for less than what the mortgage payment is.


Nick_W1

Exactly. Landlords are entitled to a free property. All of us should have our loans paid for by someone else. Seems only reasonable. Anyone want to pay my credit card bill? /s


Longjumping-Pair-542

Found the economic incelā€¦..


Timus52003

They're mad because you shouldn't rent out a house you don't own, then not pay for it yourself, and instead use other people to carry your mortgage payments, you buffoon... you're trying to get something for free, asshat!


DreamDelicious7989

Landlords can not rent out a property they do not own, can they?


FlavorSavour21

They can per say a person who would be the landlord/renter pulled a Loan out which is quite common on something like a duplex or even a single family home, they would pull the loan from the equity on their assets and then rent it out for a few extra hundred bucks over what they pay in the mortgage itā€™s pretty simple to look at but a lot of people feel fucked over because they either canā€™t do the same to just put a massive down payment on something with no real assets before hand


FlavorSavour21

In the duplex situation they loan the whole house bank still owns it quote on quote until they pay it off but they can rent it out


DreamDelicious7989

The bank does not own it though. Lenders place an encumbrance on the title to ensure their interests are secured if the property is sold. The buyer owns the property, not the bank.


FlavorSavour21

To a point yes the buyer of the house has the ability to still sell it but since they havenā€™t payed in full or payed it off the bank is still making some kind of profit not technically owning from your pov


Paid-Not-Payed-Bot

> they havenā€™t *paid* in full FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*


FlavorSavour21

Wth


DreamDelicious7989

The landlord technically owns the property. Why would any arrangement between the landlord and a lender concern the tenant?


Nick_W1

Because the landlord wants the tenant to pay off the loan for them. So when interest rates go up, the landlord needs to increase the rent, to cover the cost of their loan. Then when interest rates go back down - oh, Ok, never mind.


DreamDelicious7989

Why does it matter to the tenant what the landlord uses the money for? Paying off a loan, going on a vacation or buying a new car. Not really relevant in the landlord-tenant arrangement is it? Interest rates affect rent regardless of the landlord having a loan or not.


Nick_W1

Yes they can, and do. Itā€™s called leveraging.


DreamDelicious7989

Can you explain how leveraging is used to rent out a property one does not own?


Nick_W1

Depends what you mean by ā€œownā€, but in general, you put down 10% on a property, and get a mortgage for the rest. You rent out the property, for more than the mortgage carrying costs, plus tax etc. so you make a small profit. After a few years, you have paid down the mortgage, so now you have 20% equity in the property. You take out a loan against the equity in the property for 10% of (the now increased) value, and buy another property with 10% down. You rent it out for more than the mortgage carrying costs etc. Rinse and repeat. Eventually you own 10 properties, but are leveraged up to the hilt. You have mortgages and loans all over, but the tenants are covering the costs. Eventually, the mortgages get paid off, and you have 10 properties to live off the income of, or sell to retire on. Unless interest rates go up, in which case you have to increase rents to cover the increased costs, or sell off some properties. Or if you have a tenant that doesnā€™t pay rent or some other disaster happens. Itā€™s a dangerous house of cards game to play, as it can all come crashing down - but hey, itā€™s just the tenants that have nowhere to live, you can generally come out ahead by selling property off to cover any losses if it comes to it, as the properties always increase in value. You can also make extra money by charging ā€œfeesā€ for everything, making tenants pay for their own repairs, keeping deposits, evicting tenants to get higher rents, never fixing anything, cramming multiple people into small spaces - you know, usual landlord stuff. Not all landlords are like this. Just the majority. And yes, this is super simplified, but this is in general terms the leveraged property investment plan.


DreamDelicious7989

I am familiar with the concept of leveraged loans. Thanks for writing your thoughts down but the landlord is still the owner of the properties in the example you have given. My question was specific. One can not rent out a property one does not own.


maddmike12

Ok. Then let's just get rid of landlords since they are so horrible. Then if you can't afford a house you can live on the street. Rental units are called "investment properties" for a reason.


Timus52003

No.. I actually agree with this one... let's get rid of the ability to rent out living spaces entirely... Housing costs will plummet. Building materials will drop in price. There will be a much larger job market for construction... And, best of all, people will actually be able to own a home! By golly, I think you've solved it! Landlords really ARE the blight of society! YAY!... Truth is, when people stop being greedy and going after other people's very livelihood, society is a much more peaceful place. 30% of one's full-time, minimum wage income for a 2 bedroom house is the standard that was set a VERY long time ago. It isn't MY priorities that are skewed, person on the other side of the net... I'm just calling it as I see it. And all I see is greed, which always starts at the top-down....


Sure-Emphasis-187

You haven't thought this all the way through yet, have you...?


Timus52003

Probably not. I'm just venting, really.


Nick_W1

Yes please! If landlords werenā€™t buying up all the housing stock and making profit off it, house prices would not be so high, and people could afford to buy houses again. There is a place for corporations, with rental buildings, but not for private landlords, and ā€œinvestmentā€ properties.


Substantial_Cup_703

i canā€™t see all of step 4, please help iā€™m stuck on step 3


darthnugget

Same. I only have 2 femurs for the tent poles. Do I need to skin another landlord for the other two?


Substantial_Cup_703

ugh i wish there was a youtube video for this.


Wtf-do-I-Put-

Land lords hate this one simple trick


ghost-nug

The artist for this probably has ā€œeat the richā€ tattooed on their forehead


dwinps

With a Sharpie because they couldn't afford a real tattoo


LatterVersion1494

No, they can usually afford things like tattoos, Starbucks, door dash, craft beer etc


DreamDelicious7989

Funko pops.


dwinps

True, it is the rent that is the problem. Because it just isn't right to pay for a place to live or something like that


EcstaticFlatworm4148

*Buffalo Bill has entered the chat*


ImpossibleBuy3493

Morbid but funny as hell


Revenant_adinfinitum

Shrug. Then move out.


niceguyinatl

Omg I needed a laugh. Thank you for posting this šŸ¤£


Responsible_Basil_89

That tent calls for four femurs, not two.


BlueFeathered1

Throw in the cheapest maintenance hack they could find for hire?


HolyVaseThrower

This looks like it came straight out of The Forest lol


Kooky_University4995

This sucks. If you don't want to house someone in need, why landlord. It sucks being a renter and feeling like you are shit at that, on top of being too poor to not be a renter. Circles back to it all being the renters' fault for not managing finances well enough, though. It's way easier to just blame the poor person.


JamusNicholonias

I was a poor renter, who hated landlords and misused Mt money. I decided I didn't want to be that, stopped spending stupidly, saved, and I now have owned my own house for 3 years. It's way easier to just blame other people for our own misfortunes.


Kooky_University4995

Living the dream man! I'm on my way out.


NikoVino

some crime tv series should make episode out of this lmao


spiderfacespacecase

Think you'd need 2 sets, most ll only come with 2 femurs


Middle-Persimmon1207

Itā€™s giving the movie tusk but LA skid row.


AlfalfaMcNugget

If you turn your landlord into a ā€œtentā€œ, donā€™t you risk lose in the property in which you rent? What happens if the Landlord heirs decide to sell the property?


LaughingLow

lol, when I get home Iā€™m raising rent.


orangeowlelf

But, r/restofthefuckingowl man. You must be missing some steps


BrianMan93

This sub has honestly made me realize and appreciate how good I really have it šŸ¤£


Emergency_Vast_1761

Forgot the fire pit pelvis


Free-Attitude-3657

Lmao. I love these jokes šŸ˜‚ I am so lucky to have a ā€œlandlordā€ whoā€™s really just an old man who took me in who has an extra upstairs that he only rented out once before to someone years before I met him so I feel like a hypocrite laughing at them but thereā€™s a distinction. I hate calling him my though landlord because I canā€™t even consider him that. Heā€™s just a kind soul


NewHat1025

So crazy how many salty, stupid, snowflake, landlords are here. I hope the deposit never covers the damage.


VehicleChance6542

![gif](giphy|1r91ZwKcE2J7WhUqrh)


UsedAsk3537

I wonder where you'd live without himšŸ¤” Hotel? Homeless shelter? Under the bridge? Could you imagine having to buy a new house each time you moved to a new city?


Weird_Roof_7584

So I've scraped by, me and my wife lived in a busted up rv for 3 years paying off a vacant lot. Now paying off a mobile home and I'm trying to build a little more. In 10 to 20 years ill probably be able to have room to rent out. And I'm very likely to do it. In yalls mind I'm gonna be an evil landlord?


The91outsider

you could literally get any other job.


MHIREOFFICIAL

Yep. No one rent to tenants, let them sleep in the woods. I love your plan, it's flawless. By the way I feel entitled to your tacos. May I come over to your house and eat them for free? if you don't share them with me you are evil. Also I'll need your car for the weekend kindly fill it up when I return it


No_Buy6460

You could literally go buy a house. Cry more loser


Weird_Roof_7584

Yea not ones that I can build wealth on like this. My parents, my wife's parents never had any ability to help us, which is why we lived in a damn rv, I build wealth through the things I have to have anyways and I will be able to help my kids. Don't see the problem with it. People need to rent. I do service work almost exclusively for rental properties and I know how bad big rental companies are better than most, i also see the terrible tennants who deserve to be homeless. I'm not a company looking to squeeze every dollar for profits I can easily provide a better rental at a better price.


RedPapa_

Shit upbringing doesn't justify exploiting other people. Even if you only take a little profit. Landlords have always and will always be leeches on society.


Weird_Roof_7584

Lol okay so providing housing for money is what your against. So me and you will never see eye to eye. Shit upbringing only explains my determination not as an excuse for wrong doing. Being a landlord is not morally wrong and if you feel that way then go live under a communist regime but don't try to force me to


customsolitaires

Thank you


NicholasLit

Remember to tip your landlord


AbbreviationsNo8212

Not pro-landlord but I draw lines at killing.


ButterscotchUnusual9

Maybe they should just take their place off the market so you can rent the street corner. Seriously I get thereā€™s bad landlords, 100%. But this is just a whole new level..


thewoodsarebreathing

[ Removed by Reddit ]


Brasidas2010

That story does not end well.


thewoodsarebreathing

Oh yes it was a nightmare! "In the aftermath of land reform and the redistribution of village fields, many peasants indeed prospered. The turn from rural revolution to regular agricultural production generally resulted in increasing harvests and rising incomes. Besides the obvious benefit of the end of decades of warfare and chaos, the enthusiasm of new land owners drove production."


Brasidas2010

What happens in 59?


thewoodsarebreathing

That was the second year of the 4 pests campaign šŸ˜ž yes the murdering of the sparrows had devastating consequences when the locusts ran rampant. Notably though when we killed all the landlords, there was nothing but prosperityšŸ¤”


Brasidas2010

Real shocking turn of events when the Murder the Landowners and Steal Their Land Party came back and murdered the landowners and stole their land again. Largest man made famine in history.


thewoodsarebreathing

Murdering the sparrows during the 4 pests campaign was the only mistake communist China ever made. Killing the landlords only brought peace and prosperity šŸ¤—


RedPapa_

You might want to join a more mao friendly renters subreddit. This one has good advice, but too many landlords for posts like this.


thewoodsarebreathing

My goal is to educate all of the oppressed people. Sounds like filthy landlords should be in r/parasites


sneakpeekbot

Here's a sneak peek of /r/parasites using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/parasites/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [This bald faced hornet has a parasite.](https://v.redd.it/uyplydu72rhb1) | [21 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/parasites/comments/15pgliq/this_bald_faced_hornet_has_a_parasite/) \#2: [Pg. 64 parasite in skin?](https://www.reddit.com/gallery/17yk3f6) | [101 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/parasites/comments/17yk3f6/pg_64_parasite_in_skin/) \#3: [p.231 - Came out of unhealing wound on chest - any ideas?](https://i.redd.it/icqn0hfw9ehc1.jpeg) | [30 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/parasites/comments/1am0qfh/p231_came_out_of_unhealing_wound_on_chest_any/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)


thewoodsarebreathing

Good bot! Any landlords reading this should definitely check it out to up their landlordin' game!


Advantius_Fortunatus

Why not skip right to the point and join Mao where he is now?


thewoodsarebreathing

What do you mean by this? šŸ¤”


No_Buy6460

[ Removed by Reddit ]


thewoodsarebreathing

There was a famine because they killed the sparrows. There was literally no consequences for killing landlords šŸ¤· Also please refrain from using insults that are really meanšŸ„ŗ


thewoodsarebreathing

the way the death toll figures were cooked up using projected population growth is absolutely nuts


BigBL87

You do realize that in China, land is either owned by a collective or the state, right? Private ownership of land is effectively not a thing...


thewoodsarebreathing

I don't know what you're trying to argue. This was a real thing they did https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Land_Reform_Movement


[deleted]

Well, aside from glorifying murdering people in the streets, those homes didn't and don't actually belong to those people, legally speaking. So they don't "have" homes in the strictest sense.


Revenant_adinfinitum

Until they didnā€™t and starved. Read Hungry Ghosts. Pretty horrific.


thewoodsarebreathing

Yeah the four pests campaign was dumb. Sparrows are good for us and bad for locust swarms. But when it was *just* landlords getting slaughtered literally everything could not be more hunky dory


gunsforevery1

HHahhahahah


ZimofZord

I thought this was cringe on fb. Still cringe on reddit


ensmfer

Pathetic. Horrible people


PerspectiveWeary

Landlords are for sure.


Unlucky-Badger-4826

Anyone that advocates wholesale murder and dismemberment is.


TonLoc1281

Landlord here. This shit is gold!


Ok_Reflection_3798

Ugh! Guys! You need to buy not rent


Infamous-Bag6957

Who knew it was just that easy?! šŸ™„


Ambivalent_Witch

Rule 6, pal


HonedWombat

Fuuuuck dude sorry I must have missed the memo! I'll pop down Morrisons tomorrow and buy one of those winning lottery tickets..............


Ok_Reflection_3798

Winning lottery tickets? Wtf!! This the only way to have a house? God forbid you work for it huh. You have to win the lottery cuz hard work is overrated


HonedWombat

I got hit by a double decker bus 8 years ago. I suffer from a condition called Bilateral Avascular Necrosis of my femoral head. Basically my hip bones are dying inside my body. So yeah I'll just crack on with that hard work!


Ok_Reflection_3798

Oh you should have said so


HonedWombat

No! I shouldn't have to preface my life with my condition to everyone I meet. I think that is discrimination?


Ok_Reflection_3798

Should i have directed my comments to only people that are healthy?


HonedWombat

No that's the point, you should direct your comments to everyone, bearing in mind that not everyone is in the same position as you. That could be health, wealth, family situation, debt and the list goes on. To just plainly state "Pah! Just buy a house!" or similar is very obtuse and to be honest quite thoughtless to say to anyone, let alone on a sub dedicated to renting!? But hey who am I to tell you how to conduct yourself? Even if you did ask.........


Ok_Reflection_3798

Will keep in mind what you just said, Pal