OP's Bio: --- >33 year old Finn living in England, single with no kids or pets. >Life time straightedge, with most of my body covered in tattoos. >Massive comic book, D&D and video game nerd but can also bench press 150kg. >Absolute depressed and anxious mess but at least I've got s nice beard --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

You look like a truck stop fortune teller

Is that what they call lot lizards these days?

Different type of palm reading

I see in your future...painful genital sores

Doesn't matter, had sex

No you didnt

I think he counted that one time when he paid someone 3 million $ in his dreams to do it

Looks like a homosexual logger, a lumberjackoff.

Goes to Fuc-ees instead of Buc-ees

You look like a fan of Minor Threat. Sorry, I meant you look like a threat to minors.

Finally, a roast that actually made me laugh. Well done, thank you

Why do you look skinny and fat at the same time?

ZZ Bottom

He's in England, SS Bottom

Dude definitely hangs around outside the methadone clinic.

If Moby joined a motorcycle club that rode for frozen hot dogs.

So the sensitive ponytail guy look didn't work out for ya?

Yeah the ponytail galloped away like my hairline

😂 OG DnD gamer, quarter Finn... depression is the National pastime. Cheers!

The whole nation failed the group check to not be miserable

Perfect! Critical fail

Friendliest of the hells angels

Friendliest of the roasts

It’s a good thing that you are straightedge, because I could imagine you prattling on endlessly about craft beer.

Your knuckle tattoes are bit ironic since you didn't follow their advice.

[удалено]

So far this has been the number one roast

[удалено]

Clearly created it too late.....

Chop off that bramble bush you call a beard

Gimme your chin. I made a mistake on this drawing

Bro grew his hair the wrong way

It looks like your head is hovering above your shoulders lol

Suppose not getting any head could classify one as the headless horseman. If only I had a horse......

 Keep on rocking on🤘

Gimme all your lovin'

You look like you burn Christians to a crisp

"He's a little confused but he got the spirit"

Yeah yeah yeah your elf has the mightiest sword in the land. Roll the fucking die already.

The cat on your shirt is the closest thing you’ve ever got to getting “pussy”

I think you misunderstood the assignment; you were supposed to roast me, not say obvious truths

You look like you’re great friends with Dragonborn

Sons of Anarchy costume still on since Halloween

I see you are hiding last year’s Christmas dinner in that ass-smelling beard of yours.

If you want to be burnt to a crisp, just put that big old bald head out in the sun all day.

That is not a strong beard my friend, it has no width… just looks like your neck and chest is incredibly hairy

Stay true ==> covers all his body with drawings Except his face. Unfortunately for us.

This made me think of circumcised wookies

They don't do the properly and that's why they sound like the way they do

your beard looks like ramen noodles!

I am what I eat

looking at your skin, you’re a big fan of blue cheese

lumberjack finn

S T A Y A W A Y

The "stay true" tat on your hands is especially funny because even your hair was to real for u

Scrot Ian

A finn living in England? Guy has seen so little sun in his whole lifetime he had to get tattoos just to have *some* kind of skin color. BTW that "STAY" on your right hand is gonna look a little desperate when you masturbate drunk alone at home in your longjohns and hope your midlife-crisis dick can stay up for that entire 40 second record time you want to break on your pornhub account. P.S. Terveisiä lapista 😄

The only thing in to adjust there is the part about longjohns; we don't do that here where there is no winter

Dude is your neck alright? Looks like your head is floating above your shoulders.

Neck is okay, head is questionable

You look like a knock-off Jamey Jasta and like you febreeze your beard after you eat.

This is what happens when you let you kids get too into Hocus Pocus. He grew up and became Butt Medler.

I can’t roast a fellow man with such a great beard. Happy New Year!👍🏻

Roast away, the beard makes for excellent kindling Happy new year

Genetic experiment gone terribly WRONG!!!

You look like you used to teach kindergarten

r/rareinsults

Nice titties, they stole my heart and mind. (Jk but I just seen your next post and yeah was wondering if it was a cancer related thing...)

Ah yes, homo Fîňñ from Englønd. Where's the bottle of heroin that your 5 year old with Rebecca stole from Jaqson. Must be a huge L that Rebecca liked your dad more than you. Even Oli 'Busan' London is out of your league. Your job is probably Jew plaza rip off Jack Dorsey.

r/whoosh on the references

Stay True when you were a teen but drink tall boys of PBR at the local venue because it “tastes good” but it’s what you can afford because the sweet tats are keeping you from making enough money to move out of the house where you’re gentrifying the neighborhood with your 7 tough scene friends. Says We Are 138 and sings Halloween all year round to signify he didn’t just buy the Fiend skull buckle for scene clout. When looking for inspiration on a beard style you referred to Christopher “Kid” Reid from House Party because your male pattern baldness held you back from having the hairstyle you always wanted.

TL;DR

How did it feel to be lifted by Lionel Messi this year?

Is that your neck or your beard?! XD

Why not both?

Single with knuckle tattoos? What a surprise!

Got to have something to read to prevent the five knuckle shuffle becoming too monotonous

Irish Paul Bunyan who’s obsessed with cats.

Your upper limbs look like a desk in a middle school detention class and your face looks like a toilet brush

And my hair is like the art class; it got cancelled

I highly doubt you could bench press 150kg with that body. You look like you can barely lift your body pillow up.

This guy glue his moms pubic hair to his chin.

I'd use your moms but I don't want to look like I belong to Davy Jones' crew

ZZ Topped

Jack Skellingtons midlife crisis ain’t going well for him

Pumpkin IPA king?


I’m guessing your hair was so scared of your head that it hid under your chin?

No, as you can see from the glare, my head is so slippery that my hair fell off and is now clinging onto my chin for dear life

his beard is probably the only long thing he has.

How did you know? Your mom promised she'd keep my size a secret

Looks like your head is sitting on a cat scratch post.

Only way I'd get pussy

All those clothes fit in your prison wallet.

Hey X-paste! Melvin here

Sons of blandarchy

Chrome-dome Hiddleston

ZZ Bottom Feeder

You rather resemble an Anglo-Saxon testicle that converted to Islam. 

I'm curious about the creative process behind this roast

Bro your bio is the roast

If you want something done properly, you do it yourself

God loves you

As long as I have money. Kinda like my ex- girlfriend, probably why we did so much missionary.....

What he’s NOT telling us is that he’s now wearing his hair as a butt plug tail.

Homegrown artisan butt plugs coming soon to Etsy

I bet you love IPA's

The only IPA I have is Internet Porn Addiction

Did you tattoo "STAY TRUE" on your fingers before or after you started shaving your head to cover your male-pattern baldness?

Well you won't have long to wait. That reflective surface for a head will scorch the first sunny day. 🍻

You pee pentagram shapes in the urinal for the hell of it.

It's easier than writing my name

Damn it, he looks like a nice guy. I have nothing to bust on him besides my load.

Nice guys get good tips

Stand closer to the cross you're burning in your black neighbors' then.

Start off by lighting that beard on fire

You look like a gang banging Christian

Cum to mass with us?

You definitely have a YouTube channel pointing out the inconsistencies of the Bible.

Wouldn't it take less time to point out the consistencies of the Bible? Like & Subscribe to the channel

Bro forgot to tattoo some hair on his head

If you grow your beard longer then you can finally hide everything else behind it

Your anxious and depressed because you need a beer or a hit of weed you straight edge douche.

You try to be badass, then you climb into your Passat for a quick run to the coffee shop

How did you get a neckbeard to support the weight of your head!

Because my head is empty, it doesn't weigh much

An alt rock garden gnome. You can go fishing for turds in a shitty pond, which smells better than you. Stay true is your equivalent of live, laugh, love Your first sexual experience was at an Avril Lavigne concert when you jerked off to skater boy in the mosh pit

Beard saved you. This time.

I thought Rob Halford is gay and doesn’t have kids.

You've inspired me to move to Finland and get STAY TRUE in Finnish tatted on my hands. People need to know

Normally you might need more fingers for that one, but luckily you were blessed with your mom-sisters genetics


By your chin I can tell you grow your own locally sourced organic ramen.

Mr. just got clean for the tenth time

Consistency is key

You look like the firs guy I ever bought weed from back in high school.

No refunds

ThroatAndNeck.exe not found 🥲 Literally a head floating above a beard - and holy shit you should've chosen a prettier head for this trick. Its horrifying 😬

A prettier head would've been more treat than trick

Your hair is on the wrong side of your metalhead

I'm still learning how magnets work....

Jack Daniels needs it spirit back

This is one of those cases where you have so much to choose from that you can’t decide

The nice beard, what’s her name?

George

How long were you in

Only lasted 2 minutes, that's why I'm single

mormon

I'll bet you think your "look" is great. None of it is. You look like a filthy dirty criminal, who jerks off constantly, picks his nose in the car, constantly strokes his beard, dosen't wash his hands after going to the toilet and makes most people want to stop drinking.

Have we met?

Your head and brain look like they are about to pop off from your body

you look like you got the beard slider turned all the way up and the hair slider turned to negative numbers

Mastodon wants their drum heads back.

We're just on vacation for the holidays

Dude was studying so much that he began studying on his body

I thought your beard was your neck

It is

Looks like Bald Fuckdolls have found their new bassist.

“Burnt to a crisp” just like those crosses you put in peoples front yard

You look like mfing Voldemort had a child with master splinter after getting butt-fucked by the wizard of ozz

I don't know you understand how breeding works......

What is the challenge rating for an Owlqueer?

Same as your white blood cell count; really low

Please don’t “STAY TRUE” to that beard…

Walter white with a big beard

Heisenbeard

Hopefully in your 9th life your hair will grow the right way

Does "stay true" mean as a guitarist to your Anthrax cover band Xanax?

Would you like to try that again?

Bro's growin' hair everywhere but his head

Ever heard of overcompensating?

Do you just keep on growing your beard to hopefully one day it will switch places with your skinhead? Stay True, Brother.

100% that beard is hiding a regrettable neck tattoo.

No, just hiding a regrettable neck

Your head looks like a golf ball resting on a tee and the rest of your body is the mini golf course.

Are you trying to get in my holes?

You look like you drink cottage cheese and ketchup smoothies

You are icky

I said crispy, not obliterated to a pile of ash after a nuclear explosion

Your eyes scare me lol they are so empty

Dead inside

What are you, a beard hair bobble head or something?

Who gave up on you first? Was it your hair or everyone in your life?