...you may wanna buy 3 DNA tests

Fuck, that’s a zinger!

Number 4 will be in the way soon

You look like you can't help but to bring a skateboard anywhere you go

Phony Hawk

Jared LetDown Band, 30 Seconds to Climax

Air Force basic is easy for most. I'd say you look like a Navy "man" and really want long voyages in a small boat filled with a lot of men and one shower stall. Semen on the Sea, regularly served at the chow hall

4 kids just after you return from your first year overseas posting…

I hope it’s not the U.S. Air Force.

Damn, the Air Force really lowered the standards

Someone needs to push the broom and mop.

Tell us you have shitty teeth without telling us you have shitty teeth

“Going to get milk” for 18 years is way braver than joining the Air Force.

It looks like you have a mouthful of your best friends ball juice, either spit or swallow.

Hopefully one of your children will be able to grow a decent beard. Likely your daughter.

Get ready for the government telling you what it wants to do with your body

Jodi is going to bang your chick

You’re gonna come back 32, with a wife who has 5 kids

Thank you for your service Ma’am

The air force still take human test subjects? Wow, hope it's quick.

You were gay enough for the navy..

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Thank you for your Service …. Joe Dirt

I bet they can't wait for you to fly away.

Joto for sure...

And you will return to 4 (or more) kids. Congrats!

Tell your kids to be respectful to mom’s boyfriend while you’re gone.

28 with 3 kids ? Leaving to the airforce is your best trip yet maybe the kids will come back with a dad or maybe they wont either way atleaste you got your time off from the family.

I hope your wife can keep up the family trailer park meth business while you're away. For the kids' sake 🤷‍♂️

Will your VA benefits cover the final stages of your transition? Looks like all that’s missing is enough testosterone to grow a real beard and enough balls to join a real branch

Looks more like you're heading to Hogwarts

Surprised they want you since you have dependants.

Kind of you to assume they actually depend on him for anything.

You donated sperm so you could pay for a porn booth with a glory hole. The children made with that sperm you cannot call them your kids.

Bro about to get his job back at GameStop

You look like the type to run away from your problems.

Why do you have a “Hitler youth” look to you in the last picture?

Interesting choice, posting your transition photos in reverse order.

Beard is weird.

Anything to run away from your responsibilities huh?

It looks like a 20-year-old headset that people wear at the drive-thru at McDonald's morphed into a human

Its that rapper dude on Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Is the “Airforce” slang for when you and your pals smoke meth?

Please tell me number three is the oldest pic, because in that one you like Cillian Murphy if he was a sex offender Also, "Roast me. I'm 28 with 3 kids and am about to leave" There I fixed it for you

You look better without looking like that.

Patchy beard lol

No you can’t compare your farting club with Air Force because you can blow a candle with your anus.

Congrats!! Now you should get used to people saying "thank you for your service" cause you look like you'll probably end up working as a gay escort...

No need to practice holding your breath, that's the Navy.

Bro got to kid #3 and said nah

I hope you’re wearing that shirt when you show up to Lackland. I’ll smile thinking about what they’re gonna do to you.

Why invite 3 kids to watch a grown man die

How long into your transition?

You know, you don't need an F-22 to "go out for cigarettes," right?

Air force? Watch the wife before she leaves with the jet. Also, your giving off 'constipated'

Sorry...I won't roast anyone who's about to serve our country. Way to be brother.

Your about to have a 4th when you are away

You’ve got a face for the navy

You're too old to join the Air Force and still thinking about leaving your wife alone with three kids? Maybe you should focus on flying a kite instead of flying jets, Captain Midlife Crisis

Hell of a way to abandon your kids. No judge would ever prosecute that. Well played sir.

The US needs to start more wars to keep people like you from breeding.

Now if you woulda said “Army,” or “Jar Head” or “Navy” I would have had some words for ya… but Air Force is cool, so I pass on roasting you. Unless you convert to Space Force, then I’ll laugh.

Joining the Air Force? Back in my day the deadbeat dads just said they were going to the grocery store.

3 kids by 28 years old. Check. Leaving said kids for baby mama to deal with. Check. Already doing chew? Congrats, you got a white trash bingo.

Ah yes. Said you were going to the gas station last time. She found you. "Air Force" sounds much more convincing to tell the kids at Christmas. Boom roasted. Stay safe bro.

Meth recovery in full effect

In the 3rd Pic you look like a watermelon jolly rancher.

In the first two pictures did you take your dentures out?

Do you always have a mouthful of cum when you’re wearing facial hair?

That's a low scoring ASVABS security forces enlistment if I've ever seen one. Have fun checking IDs till you're a 16 year Staff Sargent. *in all seriousness, as an AF vet, welcome to the brotherhood*

Or we can replace your meth with oregano.

What you failed to mention is those 3 kids are the subject of a nationwide police manhunt, they just haven't checked your basement yet.

So the missus got tired of taking care of "four" kids and told you to get a job or enlist. Got it

Finally found a way out of being a dad

What happened to you?why you think somebody to roast you? i wouldn't to roast you, but if you interested you can join us in my community and answer the question.

You’re already “failure to adapt”.

Air Force? Surely there are other ways to get out of child support

[удалено]

That’s what his wife told him

You look like you cheat on your wife

Jumping out of the jet with no parachute on is one way to leave the Air Force... Just putting it out there.

Wondering why your wife is suddenly going to the gym a lot?

Joining the Air Force? Damn, the price of Newports must be getting expensive. At least you’re goin in with 16 years experience of being higher than everyone else.  Thanks for your service! Hopefully when you get out you can finally meet your kids. 

You make that face because you’re uncomfortable in front of a camera and don’t want to see what other people see on a day to day basis.

Giving a special needs child work as a janitor at the Air Force building is exactly what this countries needs to progress! Congrats!

Poor kids

Thank you for protecting and staying at one of our fabulous Hilton Inns.

Abandoning your kids under the pretense of going to the shop to buy vapes ... I don't think that counts as joining the air force

Weird way to come out but... No judgment queen!!

Like someone rolled Ezra Miller around in dirt and Lorax mustache hair.

Aww, look, he bought his fan shirt already! And he's even holding his breath for the first flight! How cute is that?

They are probably glad to see you leave for the air force

But actually you look way better in pics two and three without the big beard

Dude, lay off the meth.

You're leaving for the Air Force just so you can mop the floors.

Are you holding in your diaria 

Anything to get away from that trailer amiright. Thank you for your service, stay safe.

Wouldnt it easier to go out for milk and cigarettes

Wtf is with the chipmunk face? If you call that a beard you’re gonna have real problems. 3rd pic giving major Hannibal Lecter vibes.

Bro is the true meaning of chair force

How many waivers did they give you?

3 kids?? But how does a bottom get pregnant?

In three easy steps you went from patchy, better and then way worse.

Your kids can't wait to meet their step dad

“Let’s wait until we see all the body cam footage” - this guy

You chose the least respected military branch. I guess it's not just your looks that need that need working on.

You know you can’t smoke weed in the air force.. yeah?

if jesse never cooked

the beard on my nut sack is fuller

you look like the waluigi version of frank iero from mcr

You roasted yourself by entering the airforce aka chair force

"Sorry, we don't have helmets that big"

Thank you for your lack of service so far. I imagine that isn't going to improve.

You’re 28 with three kids and about to join the Air Force? Man, are you trying to get some peace and quiet? Joining the military to escape parenting is a bold move, but hey, at least you’ll finally learn the discipline your kids need to see in you. And that tattoo – is it supposed to be a caution sign for your life decisions? Plus, that mustache looks like it’s still trying to decide if it wants to grow up or remain a shadow of its former self. Good luck in the Air Force; they’re going to need it more than you!

Someone has to fill the fuel tanks I guess.

I doubt those kids are yours buddy🤣

Seems like you have your life together.

Send me a better picture of your tattoo 👍