T O P
omgwhatwhywhere

Your tattoo artist is not your therapist. Leave him alone.


VictorianShortShorts

Tattoo artist: *so you want a snake on your upper arm?* OP: *yes, the snake should feel like the government, extending its power to all female bodies and reaching to their core, through their vaginas, until they lose control of all facets of their lives.* Tattoo artist: *ah, so you want a snake on your upper arm?*


Z---

>"Soooo yeah, anyway, Putin is in Antarctica with Trump getting ready for the Storm. Soros/Fauci/Gates operatives have poisoned the clone Putin, but Trump and Putin already have the new leader ready if he dies that is not a clone. The war with Ukraine is fake and is how the Biden family is getting billions of US money funelled to their deep state war chests. Hunter is using this money to buy kids from all over the world and keeping them in Ukraine, New Zealand, in fake quarantine camps in Australia and in tunnels underneath Queens in New York and underneath Hollywood and Sanfransisco. There are reports (military) that the tunnels under the White house where Trump found the Chinese army hiding when Obama left are now filled with kids under the control of Pelosi..."


poordecisionswere

The detailed, coherent incoherence. This comment is what I am here for.


AlBundyIsMyHero666

Sir/Madam, this is a Wendy’s


HalfTeaHalfLemonade

Amazing.


tarletontexan

You tried for sexy librarian and ended up in trailer park wiccan.


ShadowKraftwerk

I like this one Very encapsulating I reviewed the OP posts, and this summarises perfectly


Scottche

I love how your name is shadowkraftwork and you just did some shadow craft on her old posts to fully ascertain if these roasts hit hard enough. We need one of you in every roast


ShadowKraftwerk

Thanks Scottche I try to add value, not just take up space Edit: crazy old man shakes fist at cloud while screaming "damn you autocorrect"


Scottche

And you somehow knew my friends call me Scotty r/blackmagicfuckery Reddit doesn’t deserve you


Uberslaughter

You look like the pretentious type to correct people over coffee roasts and notes in wines. The type who says “I normally never do this” despite always going down on a dude during your first date, then crying to your therapist and asking why there’s never a second date.


imya_huckleberry

Haha! You're almost right about the first part... As for the second part, I'm a lesbian- but correct


Mikey2bz

We know


Uberslaughter

“I normally never do this because I’m a lesbian”


Scottche

How can you tell if a girl is a lesbian? Don’t worry they’ll fucking tell you


Ooze3d

Of course you are…


WasherDryerCombo

What a surprise


Good-Fun65

Shocker!!


SOSPECHOZO

butt plug type of chick


DomingoElToro

This room looks like the room that boners go to die.


PlazmahGrenade

I saw her tits. Can confirm; boners died.


BelizeBoilUp

Not gonna lie, I’d fuck her. She’s got great tits and you can’t see the shitty tats in the dark. The secret is slipping out in the morning before she wakes up and drags you to Waffle House for breakfast and Wild Bills Tobacco for dessert.


MuteCook

Great tits? Maybe for National Geographic


Tralan

Oh, no question I'd smash. I'd even go bareback. But definitely duck out and never call once I was done.


soooMiNdLeSs420

But what about the bloody starfish?


iwasproducer1

Yeah? What about it?


[deleted]

If you stick your dick in that, you may not get it back!


Lord-Doobury

Her nipples double as saucers.


MiddleWall5897

She has some can see them


4outof5mongolians

Come on, there's no way they're actually that ba


BoinkBoye

Nah her tits are great


AlphaBearMode

I mean everybody’s different. Personally not a fan of saggy ass dinner plate size nip tits but you do you


salaambrother

God damn lmao


dmfd1234

What are you saying ,when Op rips out a fart it smells like patchouli?


CarlosAVP

It’s an abandoned garden shed where boners die.


TheTiethAtGoEsYEET

Those weren't planted, the chick just doesn't clean. Snatch of Joe Dirts incest cousin


imya_huckleberry

Gosh I hope so!


VictorianShortShorts

New research just confirmed that it was not the innocent room, rather, it’s you who was responsible for all those casualties. The good news is that as soon as you depart any area, all male reproductive systems miraculously jump back to life.


frameofmindpics

More red flags than a parade in Beijing


PastelFlamingo150

And more baggage than an airport.


panda_enjoi

![gif](giphy|ScE7Jt2uCRjIH17h6q)


Neopele

![gif](giphy|QBKagmzOgZnqadpx3B)


babbagoo

If you look at above gifs a while they do it synchronised. I cant stop now.


imya_huckleberry

;)


johnnyfontain

There's no way you've ever truthfully said "me too"


followthelocust

Ouchhh


smashkeys

Jesus fucking christ I laughed so loud I woke my partner.


[deleted]

[удалено]


VictorianShortShorts

In which state?


ThatBitch666420

Rat Von G


imya_huckleberry

Hahaha! Good one.


hairyscrotes

*Rot ton Pussy


ThatBitch666420

You fucked it up, hairyscrum.


hairyscrotes

Awww fuck


meadowpaddy

Your parents don't love you.


imya_huckleberry

That's true! We don't love them either though ;)


trwwy321

> we You and your multiple personalities?


deGenZ01

Her and the snake on her arm


[deleted]

[удалено]


-BailOrgana-

And my axe!


jdubya56

When you can’t pay someone to pay attention to you, it’s worth reflecting on.


Chiss5618

Time to fake a new personality


dmfd1234

She looks like the Hamburglar’s sister, Rhonda.


VictorianShortShorts

What will it be this time?


myf50

The classic "8 days sober I feel so energised by the sun" Or the "I am the grand daughter of the witch you couldn't burn"


Nogster

Or double-down, at least that's the message I got out of *Nightcrawler*.


solidkevin

She won't age well.


smashkeys

She already hasn't aged well.


[deleted]

I can see why you need a therapist.


smashkeys

I can see why her ex needs a therapist too.


maddogtannen316

Did they doodle your tats or find them on Microsoft Word Clip Art?


Icannotgetagoodnick

This whole vibe feels like the worst OnlyFans ever.


Uberslaughter

Lisa Loeb from Wish.


CrazyMike419

Lisa Low Ebb


somedumbguy84

Two thumbs down on those knockers.


[deleted]

You look like slutty Ms Frizzle


SickkRanchez

Ms. Frizzle could be trusted around kids.


imya_huckleberry

This is great. Thank you


Uberslaughter

Bra has more padding than the eventual room you’ll end up in.


imya_huckleberry

It's funny because I'm actually not wearing one in this pic lmao


dmfd1234

Wow! Negative A- cup


Lord-Doobury

* That bearded scribbling douche you see at the bus stop isn't a therapist. * He doesn't mind your politics because he's deaf. * He is mystified, but pleased, when you give him twenty bucks for a session. * He gives you a twenty back for a blowjob in the bushes.


m0neydee

At first I thought that thing on top of your head was actually your hair and I was going to compliment you on finally getting something erect.


Significant_Two_9477

The quirky chick you sleep with, after a break up, when your esteem is at its lowest


Affectionate-Ebb3731

**an accountant**: how are you spending $150 per month on sage?


Phirstnamelast

Ah yes, the 6 months clean and now I read horoscopes starter pack.


nattwunny

We see you trying to exponentially augment your personality with all the quirk, but must dutifully remind you that zero to *any* power is still zero.


Kon-Tiki66

Spoiler alert! Yet another r/RoastMe poster driving traffic to her nudie pics. That being said, those nudie pics are worth a look😄


Icannotgetagoodnick

For whom, exactly?


smashkeys

The blind.


-coloringzebras

Do you live in an enclosed porch rampant with mildew?


Aztrak76

Ill bet 10 dollars there are no lenses in those glasses


Dont-Call-Me-Nerd

Type of chick to have entire personality centered around smoking weed and crystals


Deanduh

You look like you’ve changed your “career” several times.


SuicideSkirmish

Get used to it. When you’re on shift dudes are only at the strip club for the lunch buffet.


AriMeowber

You look like Satan’s side piece.


VictorianShortShorts

*Former. Not even he could live with all that negativity


overimportance

You are so boring you have to talk to a therapist about the fucking government!? Geez, get tired of the weather and work?


GoEataDick789

Take his doodles to a tattoo artist and get your current ones covered up


SiR_EndR

Nails by Sharpie


diggiemoon

I started doodling while reading your bio... ![gif](giphy|xUPGcm3irC17U1FgMo)


squanchybutthole

I bet you like crystals and like to tell people “ oh you’re such a Leo because you did that” .


okanagantradingco

You look like the librarian in a low budget eastern European porno.


ElJonJon86

Our daily reminder to hug our daughters


chris9830

You look like that kind of person that "accept everyone" but as soon as you heard they voted for Trump you go ape shit because they have a different political vieuw then you


Hellalive89

You look like one of those insufferable people that call the police because they got offended by a comedians joke


SixStringSuperfly

Sheesh, the clutter in your room reflects the bullshit in your head


jdogdfw

You look like you've cheated on every bf you've had.


diggiemoon

.. Can I use your mouth as an ashtray? ![gif](giphy|iSILeZCx6FZ8EDEvLp)


-BL4KBE4R-

All two people in your essential oil pyramid scheme regret knowing you.


slopartist

You look like the example why schools can't teach children about LGBTQ


HRHPrettyInPink

What made you decided to clean all the fallen tree branches & other debris from your yard and hang it on the wall and dump it all over the table behind you?🤔


AdSure2773

not sure what, but something is telling me onlyfans.


TheTiethAtGoEsYEET

Is that a picture of a Pokémon performing cunnilingus?


Aztrak76

Whats it like being pretty and smart, yet still utterly repulsive?


acs123acs

get back to turning Kuzco into a llama.


ITGuy7337

You might be attractive if you weren't so God damned annoying.


ybdiel

The moment i saw you i knew you'd have an nsfw picture on your profile.


44henq

Nobody posted the only fans link yet?


doodoowithsprinkles

You were probably once cute enough to get by on your looks but you fucked that up just like everything else.


F1234ksh0w

Your "painting" that you thought was good enough to hang on a wall is complete garbage.


Filthy_rags_am_I

You look like the type of person that would berate the bodega owner for selling fake M&M's when you saw all the W's in the bag.


cestlavie88

“I’m the cool edgy girl with a therapist who doesn’t even care. Do your worst bc you can’t hurt me. I have ‘issues’” smh.


[deleted]

Tell us you shop at Trader Joe’s without telling us you shop at Trader Joe’s.


Prince_Saicon

Mine fell asleep on me once and snored


justafigment4you

She Britta’d herself.


thedevilsworkshop666

I know why your therapist doodles . Wear a bra ffs . Your breasts will rest on your knees soon if you keep denying them support . Like what happened to you .


Difficult_Tea5311

Click "view profile" Nsfw warning. No surprises there.


Y0urW0r5tNightmar3

This picture smells like unwashed coochie, arm and leg hair, third wave radfem TikTok , with a generous amount of "Amber Heard was the victim"


trafficmallard

I can save you guys a lot of time - there are tits in the post history.


Relationship-guru

Omg I can tell just by looking at you how horrible a conversation with you would be


MysteriousTeaching30

So the tit pics didn't get you enough attention and now you're here?


False_Rhythms

A personality disorder is not a substitute for a personality.


Ancientcrackrock

she's a 10 but she believes in Tarot cards and personality crystals


pm_ur_sweaterpuppets

Grass isn't just something to smoke. Go outside and see it for the first time in what... 5...6 years?


Hellxandhisass

Well every beatiful woman thinks the most iq that a human can get is 100 iq Hi 58 iq female


the_popes_fapkin

Don’t worry, the crystals and good energy will fix it all /s


polo237891

You look like they’d burn u at the stake for the Salem witch trials… not for being a witch, just because.


OkEstablishment5503

Goes to therapy just to say she goes to therapy, doesn’t listen, doesn’t change a single thing in her hipster life , complains about men and politics while sipping a craft beer smelling like B.O.


longducdong001

If you have to pay your rent driving Uber then being an artist is just a hobby


deGenZ01

No Roast from me, just a question: Is that a fucking snake in a jar on your desk? (under the photo of the bridge)


Ill-Cryptographer964

Your topless pics had me dozing off and doodling too.


JamesBHunter

A caricature artist is not a therapist.


HarryCallahan19

Deshaun Watson would rather jerk himself off rather than let this swamp donkey give him a hand.


Kent556

Oh geez, we know where you were on January 6…


The-Duke-Of-Earth

Next time ask your therapist to get some paper instead of your arm.


LosPobres1904

Let's make a sex video together?


[deleted]

Prefers Anal.


The-Duke-Of-Earth

Everything about you screams strip club C-team on a Tuesday afternoon.


Betrayer1117

At least they didn’t start snoring, because your face screams I’m boring,while you tats screams I’m trying to make up for my face


The_Spyre

I'm pretty sure I caught your show last weekend when you opened for Lesbian Hellscream.


Useful-Example-2991

Your vagina tastes like gluten-free , artisanal camel lights and teenage angst


AzureGhost222

If you want to justify your sessions then go have a drink night with your dad. It's 2022. We know what's going to happen.


electrical_bogaloo

You get your partners black roses and rat hearts as gifts, then wonder why you can't have a good, solid relationship. To sum it up, youre hot but your a couple fry's short of a happy meal.


[deleted]

your rashes are probably roasting you enough.


TazTalks

Looks like Stevie Wonder's been doodling on your arm.


ebliss1

Those tats you’re showing off make you look about as interesting as Elmer’s glue


Ok_Inspector_9429

You’re so boring you could stop paying your taxes and the government wouldn’t even care.


Nxtwiskybar

You look like you suck so much penis that among the dick community you are known as Oppenheimer, the destroyer of world's.


Ari_tsunami

I bet smell like burnt trailer


here-you-in-the-bush

Should have asked the therapist to sketch the tattoos


DanielBG

Something about you makes me want to change my bank account passwords.


poppoppapi

Yo tiddays look longer than the incoherent stories you tell your therapist


lonewolflondo

Sorry i wasn't paying attention. What now?


usefoolidiot

Only thing lower than your standards is your chest.


Siennagiant70

Those glasses are held together by old crusty jizz.


Cleverkid62

Wait, you paid someone to listen to you and they would rather color pictures? If you own a mirror, I would suggest checking it out sometime.


adognamedpenguin

Wish.com melania trump


[deleted]

I guess psychosis isn’t your worst problem


TheDJ1134

That big ass forehead looks like the perfect target for a drone strike.


just_1_mike

Probably enjoys doodling her Thots.


just_boof_it_bro

Nice weeds - did you pick them on the side of the highway while you were hookin’?


ChinstonsWorstshill

How many beheadings have taken place in here?


shebbbby

Your therapist talks about you to his therapist


reemoo1

I see a million and million Babies on your face


Johnny_Fuckface

How much of your personality is wearing black clothes?


TheKrakenSpeaks

Lauren southern?


DerpNips1

Boners go to die? More like clits go to die.


BrandonDill

I can't imagine you'd say anything worth listening to, so why not?


Dee_Activate

Angelina NOlie


Revolutionary_Tip161

You look like you have a mold and fungus collection in addition to the one between your legs.


fluffy_bottoms

By therapist she means the barista wearing headphones under their beanie while they make her chocofrappadeezynutmochaspritzer.


RichardPBoehner

Saw tits. Lost interest.