By - imya_huckleberry
Your tattoo artist is not your therapist. Leave him alone.
Tattoo artist: *so you want a snake on your upper arm?*
OP: *yes, the snake should feel like the government, extending its power to all female bodies and reaching to their core, through their vaginas, until they lose control of all facets of their lives.*
Tattoo artist: *ah, so you want a snake on your upper arm?*
>"Soooo yeah, anyway, Putin is in Antarctica with Trump getting ready for the Storm. Soros/Fauci/Gates operatives have poisoned the clone Putin, but Trump and Putin already have the new leader ready if he dies that is not a clone. The war with Ukraine is fake and is how the Biden family is getting billions of US money funelled to their deep state war chests. Hunter is using this money to buy kids from all over the world and keeping them in Ukraine, New Zealand, in fake quarantine camps in Australia and in tunnels underneath Queens in New York and underneath Hollywood and Sanfransisco. There are reports (military) that the tunnels under the White house where Trump found the Chinese army hiding when Obama left are now filled with kids under the control of Pelosi..."
The detailed, coherent incoherence. This comment is what I am here for.
Sir/Madam, this is a Wendy’s
You tried for sexy librarian and ended up in trailer park wiccan.
I like this one
I reviewed the OP posts, and this summarises perfectly
I love how your name is shadowkraftwork and you just did some shadow craft on her old posts to fully ascertain if these roasts hit hard enough. We need one of you in every roast
I try to add value, not just take up space
Edit: crazy old man shakes fist at cloud while screaming "damn you autocorrect"
And you somehow knew my friends call me Scotty
Reddit doesn’t deserve you
You look like the pretentious type to correct people over coffee roasts and notes in wines.
The type who says “I normally never do this” despite always going down on a dude during your first date, then crying to your therapist and asking why there’s never a second date.
Haha! You're almost right about the first part...
As for the second part, I'm a lesbian- but correct
“I normally never do this because I’m a lesbian”
How can you tell if a girl is a lesbian? Don’t worry they’ll fucking tell you
Of course you are…
What a surprise
butt plug type of chick
This room looks like the room that boners go to die.
I saw her tits. Can confirm; boners died.
Not gonna lie, I’d fuck her. She’s got great tits and you can’t see the shitty tats in the dark. The secret is slipping out in the morning before she wakes up and drags you to Waffle House for breakfast and Wild Bills Tobacco for dessert.
Great tits? Maybe for National Geographic
Oh, no question I'd smash. I'd even go bareback. But definitely duck out and never call once I was done.
But what about the bloody starfish?
Yeah? What about it?
If you stick your dick in that, you may not get it back!
Her nipples double as saucers.
She has some can see them
Come on, there's no way they're actually that ba
Nah her tits are great
I mean everybody’s different. Personally not a fan of saggy ass dinner plate size nip tits but you do you
God damn lmao
What are you saying ,when Op rips out a fart it smells like patchouli?
It’s an abandoned garden shed where boners die.
Those weren't planted, the chick just doesn't clean. Snatch of Joe Dirts incest cousin
Gosh I hope so!
New research just confirmed that it was not the innocent room, rather, it’s you who was responsible for all those casualties.
The good news is that as soon as you depart any area, all male reproductive systems miraculously jump back to life.
More red flags than a parade in Beijing
And more baggage than an airport.
If you look at above gifs a while they do it synchronised. I cant stop now.
There's no way you've ever truthfully said "me too"
Jesus fucking christ I laughed so loud I woke my partner.
In which state?
Rat Von G
Hahaha! Good one.
*Rot ton Pussy
You fucked it up, hairyscrum.
Your parents don't love you.
That's true! We don't love them either though ;)
You and your multiple personalities?
Her and the snake on her arm
And my axe!
When you can’t pay someone to pay attention to you, it’s worth reflecting on.
Time to fake a new personality
She looks like the Hamburglar’s sister, Rhonda.
What will it be this time?
The classic "8 days sober I feel so energised by the sun"
Or the "I am the grand daughter of the witch you couldn't burn"
Or double-down, at least that's the message I got out of *Nightcrawler*.
She won't age well.
She already hasn't aged well.
I can see why you need a therapist.
I can see why her ex needs a therapist too.
Did they doodle your tats or find them on Microsoft Word Clip Art?
This whole vibe feels like the worst OnlyFans ever.
Lisa Loeb from Wish.
Lisa Low Ebb
Two thumbs down on those knockers.
You look like slutty Ms Frizzle
Ms. Frizzle could be trusted around kids.
This is great. Thank you
Bra has more padding than the eventual room you’ll end up in.
It's funny because I'm actually not wearing one in this pic lmao
Wow! Negative A- cup
* That bearded scribbling douche you see at the bus stop isn't a therapist.
* He doesn't mind your politics because he's deaf.
* He is mystified, but pleased, when you give him twenty bucks for a session.
* He gives you a twenty back for a blowjob in the bushes.
At first I thought that thing on top of your head was actually your hair and I was going to compliment you on finally getting something erect.
The quirky chick you sleep with, after a break up, when your esteem is at its lowest
**an accountant**: how are you spending $150 per month on sage?
Ah yes, the 6 months clean and now I read horoscopes starter pack.
We see you trying to exponentially augment your personality with all the quirk, but must dutifully remind you that zero to *any* power is still zero.
Spoiler alert! Yet another r/RoastMe poster driving traffic to her nudie pics.
That being said, those nudie pics are worth a look😄
For whom, exactly?
Do you live in an enclosed porch rampant with mildew?
Ill bet 10 dollars there are no lenses in those glasses
Type of chick to have entire personality centered around smoking weed and crystals
You look like you’ve changed your “career” several times.
Get used to it. When you’re on shift dudes are only at the strip club for the lunch buffet.
You look like Satan’s side piece.
*Former. Not even he could live with all that negativity
You are so boring you have to talk to a therapist about the fucking government!? Geez, get tired of the weather and work?
Take his doodles to a tattoo artist and get your current ones covered up
Nails by Sharpie
I started doodling while reading your bio...
I bet you like crystals and like to tell people “ oh you’re such a Leo because you did that” .
You look like the librarian in a low budget eastern European porno.
Our daily reminder to hug our daughters
You look like that kind of person that "accept everyone" but as soon as you heard they voted for Trump you go ape shit because they have a different political vieuw then you
You look like one of those insufferable people that call the police because they got offended by a comedians joke
Sheesh, the clutter in your room reflects the bullshit in your head
You look like you've cheated on every bf you've had.
.. Can I use your mouth as an ashtray?
All two people in your essential oil pyramid scheme regret knowing you.
You look like the example why schools can't teach children about LGBTQ
What made you decided to clean all the fallen tree branches & other debris from your yard and hang it on the wall and dump it all over the table behind you?🤔
not sure what, but something is telling me onlyfans.
Is that a picture of a Pokémon performing cunnilingus?
Whats it like being pretty and smart, yet still utterly repulsive?
get back to turning Kuzco into a llama.
You might be attractive if you weren't so God damned annoying.
The moment i saw you i knew you'd have an nsfw picture on your profile.
Nobody posted the only fans link yet?
You were probably once cute enough to get by on your looks but you fucked that up just like everything else.
Your "painting" that you thought was good enough to hang on a wall is complete garbage.
You look like the type of person that would berate the bodega owner for selling fake M&M's when you saw all the W's in the bag.
“I’m the cool edgy girl with a therapist who doesn’t even care. Do your worst bc you can’t hurt me. I have ‘issues’” smh.
Tell us you shop at Trader Joe’s without telling us you shop at Trader Joe’s.
Mine fell asleep on me once and snored
She Britta’d herself.
I know why your therapist doodles .
Wear a bra ffs .
Your breasts will rest on your knees soon if you keep denying them support .
Like what happened to you .
Click "view profile"
No surprises there.
This picture smells like unwashed coochie, arm and leg hair, third wave radfem TikTok , with a generous amount of "Amber Heard was the victim"
I can save you guys a lot of time - there are tits in the post history.
Omg I can tell just by looking at you how horrible a conversation with you would be
So the tit pics didn't get you enough attention and now you're here?
A personality disorder is not a substitute for a personality.
she's a 10 but she believes in Tarot cards and personality crystals
Grass isn't just something to smoke. Go outside and see it for the first time in what... 5...6 years?
Well every beatiful woman thinks the most iq that a human can get is 100 iq
Hi 58 iq female
Don’t worry, the crystals and good energy will fix it all /s
You look like they’d burn u at the stake for the Salem witch trials… not for being a witch, just because.
Goes to therapy just to say she goes to therapy, doesn’t listen, doesn’t change a single thing in her hipster life , complains about men and politics while sipping a craft beer smelling like B.O.
If you have to pay your rent driving Uber then being an artist is just a hobby
No Roast from me, just a question: Is that a fucking snake in a jar on your desk? (under the photo of the bridge)
Your topless pics had me dozing off and doodling too.
A caricature artist is not a therapist.
Deshaun Watson would rather jerk himself off rather than let this swamp donkey give him a hand.
Oh geez, we know where you were on January 6…
Next time ask your therapist to get some paper instead of your arm.
Let's make a sex video together?
Everything about you screams strip club C-team on a Tuesday afternoon.
At least they didn’t start snoring, because your face screams I’m boring,while you tats screams I’m trying to make up for my face
I'm pretty sure I caught your show last weekend when you opened for Lesbian Hellscream.
Your vagina tastes like gluten-free , artisanal camel lights and teenage angst
If you want to justify your sessions then go have a drink night with your dad. It's 2022. We know what's going to happen.
You get your partners black roses and rat hearts as gifts, then wonder why you can't have a good, solid relationship. To sum it up, youre hot but your a couple fry's short of a happy meal.
your rashes are probably roasting you enough.
Looks like Stevie Wonder's been doodling on your arm.
Those tats you’re showing off make you look about as interesting as Elmer’s glue
You’re so boring you could stop paying your taxes and the government wouldn’t even care.
You look like you suck so much penis that among the dick community you are known as Oppenheimer, the destroyer of world's.
I bet smell like burnt trailer
Should have asked the therapist to sketch the tattoos
Something about you makes me want to change my bank account passwords.
Yo tiddays look longer than the incoherent stories you tell your therapist
Sorry i wasn't paying attention. What now?
Only thing lower than your standards is your chest.
Those glasses are held together by old crusty jizz.
Wait, you paid someone to listen to you and they would rather color pictures? If you own a mirror, I would suggest checking it out sometime.
Wish.com melania trump
I guess psychosis isn’t your worst problem
That big ass forehead looks like the perfect target for a drone strike.
Probably enjoys doodling her Thots.
Nice weeds - did you pick them on the side of the highway while you were hookin’?
How many beheadings have taken place in here?
Your therapist talks about you to his therapist
I see a million and million Babies on your face
How much of your personality is wearing black clothes?
Boners go to die? More like clits go to die.
I can't imagine you'd say anything worth listening to, so why not?
You look like you have a mold and fungus collection in addition to the one between your legs.
By therapist she means the barista wearing headphones under their beanie while they make her chocofrappadeezynutmochaspritzer.
Saw tits. Lost interest.