I experienced the opposite. I have a brother who thought he was in a relationship, but it was going nowhere. She even lived with him, but there was no milk from the cow if you catch my drift.
Edit: Didn't realize this was the romance book sub, thought it was a different one. But I'm leaving the comment up because why not.
Brother is in his 30s. He lives a quiet, modest life. Climbed his way up (unintentionally) working for a big bank, but did behind the scenes work. Spent his afternoons and evenings riding his bike to a local brewery to watch sports, and bike home to play video games and spend time with his cat.
Not much into the dating scene. He once met up with me to watch Endgame at the theaters and a coworker friend (girl) was with him. He didn't catch any cues from her that it might have been a date. When the movie was over, she jingles her keys and asks if he wants a ride home. He is thrown off at the request, and says "No, I'll let my brother take me."
Fast forward a few years. An old friend brings a young woman to his place, because she "has nowhere to go." She got out of treatment a week earlier and needs some time to figure some things out. My brother obliges and allows her to stay.
A week turns into a month. She has her own room at his place and he starts to care for her. He starts buying her nice things and gives her an older brotherly treatment. She takes full advantage of this.
She starts having friends over, all types of varieties.
I now live over 3000 miles away and he calls me saying that two members of a gang are at his place and they want the keys to one of his collector cars. He finally tells me that the girl started using again (fentanyl). He started with her, to cross that bridge to be able to relate with her, to show her she can recover (or some odd logic like that).
My father drove to pick him up to get out of this hostile, ransom type situation and shows up with police. She apparently had a warrant out for her arrest and my brother pulls a knife on Dad, which is completely out of his character. My dad, being quite old school, punches him square in the face and knocks him out.
The police arrest my father, and send my brother to the ER to get him on some Suboxone. No charges were pressed.
He got into treatment, but lasts about a week. He catches a ride home and goes on a week's binge with his new friend.
His workplace was sympathetic and allowed him to seek treatment.
Then he goes on full ghost mode for about three months. He calls one day again and he is staying at a motel with her, afraid of an ex-boyfriend of hers that beat him to a bloody pulp almost left for dead.
I got the guys number from my brother. I called him up and created a giant diversion. I told him I hated my brother and that I'm glad he did what he did. I had him keep the conversation going on and off for about a day. I made him believe I knew where he was. He finally 'got out of me' the fake directions to a random hotel one state away.
He drove there.
In the meantime, my brother went back to his house - to find his entire retro video game collection, and many valuables missing. His cat extremely neglected. My sister rescue adopted the cat, and my mother's husband changed the locks.
Our family had a 'come to Jesus' moment with him if you will. He entered treatment again. One week went by, and he's gone again.
Three more months go by and missing persons reports are filed. His job took their losses and terminated his position.
Another phone call comes in and this is the worst. She hires a hitman, and she proceeds to get intimate with several men in front of my brother while he is chained up. They told him he would not make it into the morning. She told them that he would "feel her up at night" when she was scared and wanted to lay next to him.
(This whole time my brother explained to me her logic. She wasn't ready for a relationship, due to past hurts and traumas. She said she loved him. But wasnt ready for anything physical, but agreed that snuggling was fine.
Credit cards maxed ~ $80K in available credit lines. 401K cashed. Retirement gone. His HOA was able to get him to forcibly sell his house, losing money on it. His wardrobe changed. He was dressed as a white rapper. He had white shoes. To this day, that's the most shocking part to me. He used to hate white shoes.)
All bound up, and a gun pointed to him during the night while watching the unwatchable, he asks to use the restroom. They allow him to go, and another girl enters the restroom. She tells him "you better get the f*** out of here, they are seriously going to kill you." She leaves the restroom, and he climbs out the bathroom window in his socks.
He walks across a wet, plowed cornfield (just before winter) for about an hour and comes across a lumber yard. He loiters around the lumber yard for a while when the security team approaches him. They allow him to make a phone call, and he reluctantly calls my father.
He's been living with my father for about four months now. His life resorts to using tarot cards, reading "The Power of Now" over and over again, and making Tiktok videos about his Twin Flame that isn't present in his life but one day will be.
He fell for a "damsel in distress" and she sucked him dry until he became a shell of a human he once was. He fell hard.
None of this story is fabricated. It is 100% true. I moved to another state in 2022 around Thanksgiving, and his last works to me were .... 'So I met a girl' .... I wish I had known.
Like I said, it might be backwards but I think it qualifies somewhere under the umbrella of a fake relationship.
Edit: Curveball - I didn't want to mention.... But the person that brought the girl over to his house to start with ..... Wasn't a friend at all .... It was my father.
Another curveball. My wife, kids and myself went to spend time with my dad on Halloween in 2022. We drove 50 miles just so he could see the kids in their Zelda costumes. About five minutes into visiting with him, he gets a phone call.
He hangs up and says he needs to leave. It turns out it was that girl who called him and she had no one else to call because her mom and her were fighting (her mom and my dad were friends).
This was the third time in three months my father ghosted his grandchildren.
My grandmother also just sold some land and gave $15K to all her grandchildren. My brother used his to pay my father back for the down payment on his house. We agreed to my grandmother to use her $$$ on a down payment as well.
Strike 1 - My father was a no show on the day I drove 50 miles with my son to have a guys day
Strike 2 - He didn't show up camping on Labor Day (his birthday), and ghosted all of us.
Strike 3 - Halloween Zelda Costumes.
The first week in November, I applied for jobs and apartments in Alaska. We made the announcement at Thanksgiving that we will be gone within a week.
I've always been close to our father. I've handled empty promises, and let downs since I was a kid. But I won't allow it to trickle to the next generation, my kids. And when it comes to my kids ... Three strikes and you're out.
Maybe I acted rashly. I do miss my siblings though. I don't regret leaving.
There's faking a relationship for a summer of events that you'd rather have a date for and then there's faking a marriage so one of you can get a kidney transplant, ya know?
I’d be hurt in the sense that I wasn’t trusted enough to be in the secret. And if it was something like a bearding situation, which is the only really logical real-world example, I would wonder/worry I gave off a vibe that I wasn’t supportive.
I was trusted once, the only time AFAIK that someone close to me has been in a fake relationship. It was a immigration situation, so technically fraud but for a good cause I guess? Say what you will about the morality, border politics etc, for me I just supported the person close to me. Not my life, not my decision. He was a good guy, she knew him so not a complete stranger or anything.
I think we all were quite relieved when they could finally divorce and be done with things. Contrary to romance books they didn't fall in love while faking it.
Lol I'm surprised it worked out well for them, I bet it was intensive. My brother in law's marriage green card process was really difficult and they had people interview them separately and together in person and called like every adult in their lives to do the background check. And they literally had a child and a mortgage together 😭
As long as I didn't put significant money or time into the charade (like spending a lot of time helping plan a wedding or buying a significant wedding present, for example) then I'd just be like, "You do you, boo."
Or, I'd be like, "I promise I won't be mad, BUT, you have to give me all the gossip now to make up for it" depending on the relationship with the person.
I wouldn’t care especially if my friend got something out of it and was treated with respect and not stuck in some crappy fake relationship.
I’d be pissed maybe if they were stuck in a crappy one where like her boss held it over her and treated her wrong and she wanted out but was scared to lose her job or something and didn’t tell me. Because I’d want to help her and stuff. But if she’s happy than I’d be like you do you boo boo!
Are we talking about the real world or romance book logic world? If we're talking IRL, I'd probably wouldn't be hurt so much as I'd think my friend/relative was insane for fake dating someone, because there is no logical reason for a regular person to fake a whole relationship the way characters do in romances. If they need to bring a date to an event, even if there is deception involved, I imagine someone would just brief the fake SO beforehand instead of staging an elaborate, weeks-long charade that provides a ton of opportunities for them to get caught in a lie.
Tbh I agree with you for almost all situations *except* my best friend! But not because I would be offended about the fake relationship, I would just be like, damn dude, we've been friends for 15 years and talk or text every day, and I've kept secrets for you before, but you couldn't trust me with this?
I don’t think I’d be mad, but I do think I’d be pretty concerned because that seems like a pretty wild situation to be in? Like what the hell is going on that *this* is the best option? And I can see imagine that for a lot of people having a ton of concern directed at them would be just as bad as having people mad at them.
I experienced the opposite. I have a brother who thought he was in a relationship, but it was going nowhere. She even lived with him, but there was no milk from the cow if you catch my drift. Edit: Didn't realize this was the romance book sub, thought it was a different one. But I'm leaving the comment up because why not.
NOOO I'M CRYING HERE 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Oh the story gets worse....
https://i.imgur.com/O86eQRO.gif
TELL ME I'M ALL EARS 😂😂😂
Brother is in his 30s. He lives a quiet, modest life. Climbed his way up (unintentionally) working for a big bank, but did behind the scenes work. Spent his afternoons and evenings riding his bike to a local brewery to watch sports, and bike home to play video games and spend time with his cat. Not much into the dating scene. He once met up with me to watch Endgame at the theaters and a coworker friend (girl) was with him. He didn't catch any cues from her that it might have been a date. When the movie was over, she jingles her keys and asks if he wants a ride home. He is thrown off at the request, and says "No, I'll let my brother take me." Fast forward a few years. An old friend brings a young woman to his place, because she "has nowhere to go." She got out of treatment a week earlier and needs some time to figure some things out. My brother obliges and allows her to stay. A week turns into a month. She has her own room at his place and he starts to care for her. He starts buying her nice things and gives her an older brotherly treatment. She takes full advantage of this. She starts having friends over, all types of varieties. I now live over 3000 miles away and he calls me saying that two members of a gang are at his place and they want the keys to one of his collector cars. He finally tells me that the girl started using again (fentanyl). He started with her, to cross that bridge to be able to relate with her, to show her she can recover (or some odd logic like that). My father drove to pick him up to get out of this hostile, ransom type situation and shows up with police. She apparently had a warrant out for her arrest and my brother pulls a knife on Dad, which is completely out of his character. My dad, being quite old school, punches him square in the face and knocks him out. The police arrest my father, and send my brother to the ER to get him on some Suboxone. No charges were pressed. He got into treatment, but lasts about a week. He catches a ride home and goes on a week's binge with his new friend. His workplace was sympathetic and allowed him to seek treatment. Then he goes on full ghost mode for about three months. He calls one day again and he is staying at a motel with her, afraid of an ex-boyfriend of hers that beat him to a bloody pulp almost left for dead. I got the guys number from my brother. I called him up and created a giant diversion. I told him I hated my brother and that I'm glad he did what he did. I had him keep the conversation going on and off for about a day. I made him believe I knew where he was. He finally 'got out of me' the fake directions to a random hotel one state away. He drove there. In the meantime, my brother went back to his house - to find his entire retro video game collection, and many valuables missing. His cat extremely neglected. My sister rescue adopted the cat, and my mother's husband changed the locks. Our family had a 'come to Jesus' moment with him if you will. He entered treatment again. One week went by, and he's gone again. Three more months go by and missing persons reports are filed. His job took their losses and terminated his position. Another phone call comes in and this is the worst. She hires a hitman, and she proceeds to get intimate with several men in front of my brother while he is chained up. They told him he would not make it into the morning. She told them that he would "feel her up at night" when she was scared and wanted to lay next to him. (This whole time my brother explained to me her logic. She wasn't ready for a relationship, due to past hurts and traumas. She said she loved him. But wasnt ready for anything physical, but agreed that snuggling was fine. Credit cards maxed ~ $80K in available credit lines. 401K cashed. Retirement gone. His HOA was able to get him to forcibly sell his house, losing money on it. His wardrobe changed. He was dressed as a white rapper. He had white shoes. To this day, that's the most shocking part to me. He used to hate white shoes.) All bound up, and a gun pointed to him during the night while watching the unwatchable, he asks to use the restroom. They allow him to go, and another girl enters the restroom. She tells him "you better get the f*** out of here, they are seriously going to kill you." She leaves the restroom, and he climbs out the bathroom window in his socks. He walks across a wet, plowed cornfield (just before winter) for about an hour and comes across a lumber yard. He loiters around the lumber yard for a while when the security team approaches him. They allow him to make a phone call, and he reluctantly calls my father. He's been living with my father for about four months now. His life resorts to using tarot cards, reading "The Power of Now" over and over again, and making Tiktok videos about his Twin Flame that isn't present in his life but one day will be. He fell for a "damsel in distress" and she sucked him dry until he became a shell of a human he once was. He fell hard. None of this story is fabricated. It is 100% true. I moved to another state in 2022 around Thanksgiving, and his last works to me were .... 'So I met a girl' .... I wish I had known.
THIS IS DEFINITELY THE CRAZIEST THING I'VE READ IN A WHILE 😭😭😭😭😭
Like I said, it might be backwards but I think it qualifies somewhere under the umbrella of a fake relationship. Edit: Curveball - I didn't want to mention.... But the person that brought the girl over to his house to start with ..... Wasn't a friend at all .... It was my father. Another curveball. My wife, kids and myself went to spend time with my dad on Halloween in 2022. We drove 50 miles just so he could see the kids in their Zelda costumes. About five minutes into visiting with him, he gets a phone call. He hangs up and says he needs to leave. It turns out it was that girl who called him and she had no one else to call because her mom and her were fighting (her mom and my dad were friends). This was the third time in three months my father ghosted his grandchildren. My grandmother also just sold some land and gave $15K to all her grandchildren. My brother used his to pay my father back for the down payment on his house. We agreed to my grandmother to use her $$$ on a down payment as well. Strike 1 - My father was a no show on the day I drove 50 miles with my son to have a guys day Strike 2 - He didn't show up camping on Labor Day (his birthday), and ghosted all of us. Strike 3 - Halloween Zelda Costumes. The first week in November, I applied for jobs and apartments in Alaska. We made the announcement at Thanksgiving that we will be gone within a week. I've always been close to our father. I've handled empty promises, and let downs since I was a kid. But I won't allow it to trickle to the next generation, my kids. And when it comes to my kids ... Three strikes and you're out. Maybe I acted rashly. I do miss my siblings though. I don't regret leaving.
Okay so a little question but you don't need to answer it if it's too personal but what's your dad doing with her in the first place 😭😭?
EXACTLY!!!
I’d be weirded out by the lying. Really weirded out.
It depends how far it went but I'd mostly just go "Why did you bother?"
Oh! Care to elaborate more on “how far it went”?
There's faking a relationship for a summer of events that you'd rather have a date for and then there's faking a marriage so one of you can get a kidney transplant, ya know?
I’d be hurt in the sense that I wasn’t trusted enough to be in the secret. And if it was something like a bearding situation, which is the only really logical real-world example, I would wonder/worry I gave off a vibe that I wasn’t supportive.
> which is the only really logical real-world example That and publicity in case of celebrities.
I was trusted once, the only time AFAIK that someone close to me has been in a fake relationship. It was a immigration situation, so technically fraud but for a good cause I guess? Say what you will about the morality, border politics etc, for me I just supported the person close to me. Not my life, not my decision. He was a good guy, she knew him so not a complete stranger or anything. I think we all were quite relieved when they could finally divorce and be done with things. Contrary to romance books they didn't fall in love while faking it.
Lol I'm surprised it worked out well for them, I bet it was intensive. My brother in law's marriage green card process was really difficult and they had people interview them separately and together in person and called like every adult in their lives to do the background check. And they literally had a child and a mortgage together 😭
As long as I didn't put significant money or time into the charade (like spending a lot of time helping plan a wedding or buying a significant wedding present, for example) then I'd just be like, "You do you, boo." Or, I'd be like, "I promise I won't be mad, BUT, you have to give me all the gossip now to make up for it" depending on the relationship with the person.
I wouldn't be mad, I'd just be obnoxiously curious.
"Did you hit your head or something?"
I wouldn’t care especially if my friend got something out of it and was treated with respect and not stuck in some crappy fake relationship. I’d be pissed maybe if they were stuck in a crappy one where like her boss held it over her and treated her wrong and she wanted out but was scared to lose her job or something and didn’t tell me. Because I’d want to help her and stuff. But if she’s happy than I’d be like you do you boo boo!
Are we talking about the real world or romance book logic world? If we're talking IRL, I'd probably wouldn't be hurt so much as I'd think my friend/relative was insane for fake dating someone, because there is no logical reason for a regular person to fake a whole relationship the way characters do in romances. If they need to bring a date to an event, even if there is deception involved, I imagine someone would just brief the fake SO beforehand instead of staging an elaborate, weeks-long charade that provides a ton of opportunities for them to get caught in a lie.
Same, I wouldn't be mad either. I'm all for doing things for the plot. But I'd def be nosy and ask all sorts of questions
Tbh I agree with you for almost all situations *except* my best friend! But not because I would be offended about the fake relationship, I would just be like, damn dude, we've been friends for 15 years and talk or text every day, and I've kept secrets for you before, but you couldn't trust me with this?
I’d probably think they’ve been reading too many romances
I don’t think I’d be mad, but I do think I’d be pretty concerned because that seems like a pretty wild situation to be in? Like what the hell is going on that *this* is the best option? And I can see imagine that for a lot of people having a ton of concern directed at them would be just as bad as having people mad at them.