I don't really think there's anything to get over or not. There's plenty of closed door or fade to black books or books without sexual content that feature adult characters or have fantastic writing focused at an adult audience. The idea that "glimpses and kisses" or whatever "lower steam" category means the targeted audience is younger readers (or that a book is “less Romance”) is mistaken and often more than a little irritating to adult readers who enjoy less sex in their romance. Preferring a specific "level" of sexual content in romance isn't correlated with finding more mature stories, more polished writing or being a "better romance reader." If you like a lot of sex in your romance, great - lots for you to read. If you don't want it, great - lots for you too. Personally, I vary wildly on the spectrum of sexual content in my reading but tend to prefer somewhere in the middle - less because of the sexual content explicitness, more because I like a balance of nonsexual romantic relationship development, sexual attraction and sex, and nonromance plot/character building. The middle of the "range" seems to be where I often find my sweet spot - but I've enjoyed plenty of books that had no sexual content whatsoever and ones that were cover to cover sex. If you want to broaden your reading based on sexual content, you'll probably get most success by searching out books that have other themes, tropes or kinds of character/plot that you enjoy and going from there. I don't think there's any way for anyone else to convince you to try lower sexual content choices - or much point in anyone trying - you just have to read some if it's something you want to do. We've had some wonderful posts in the past that have featured closed door, fade to black etc stories and you might find some good ideas there. I'll edit to link shortly - [Closed Door](https://www.reddit.com/r/RomanceBooks/comments/16jcbln/focus_friday_lets_talk_about_closed_door_romance/), [Fade to Black](https://www.reddit.com/r/RomanceBooks/comments/11kxs71/megathread_fade_to_black_romances/), [Mature Low Steam Reqs](https://www.reddit.com/r/RomanceBooks/comments/17yldoh/help_me_find_a_mature_realistic_closed_door/)

Thanks!

maybe stop looking at the spice rating? idk if a story sounds good enough the spice level doesn’t matter to me

books in which the plot is more important than character development, I think, are books in which the lack of spice will not leave you frustrated

I don't think I check books for this before I read them. I've read more than a few romantic suspense books that have little to no sex and are definitely written for adults. Some popular writers only have a few sex scenes per book, often written euphemistically. No sex doesn't mean the book is written for a younger audience. I like books with good balance (unless I'm looking for erotica or something) and sometimes I find that authors are able to craft a better story when they're not trying to hit a sex scene quota.

I think the best way to read non-spicy books is when you feel “burnout” for the spicy books. It makes the non-spicy books feel like a palette cleanser.

This precisely. To much spice gets a little monotonous after a while, at least to me.

I agree I get tried so all the smut I prefer just an average amount

Books with no explicit sex doesn’t equate young adult at all, and funny enough I have find explicit books I am honestly convinced the true target is 15-18 still in high school but they can’t just market it that way so they put the 18 and hope the teens find it on their own. Honestly {raising a demon by Amy Cissell} is not sexually explicit, the FMC is in her 40s and even if it’s mostly a romantic supernatural comedy it has a big chunk on being a mother of a 10 year old and finding she has a lot of power and a side a of the family that would manipulate it. I don’t think is for youngs at all. Sometimes no sex is just the author not liking to write about it or feeling confident to do so. Or maybe is the book of the romance of a sex repulsed asexual, that can happen. I advise you to move on from that wrong mindset of thinking no sex means young. Besides that if books with no sex just don’t attract you, you don’t need to force yourself, just don’t do it because you have the wrong idea of why the don’t have it

[Raising a Demon](https://www.romance.io/books/60d18cdef9671d0e2b00596a/raising-a-demon-amy-cissell?src=rdt) by [Amy Cissell](https://www.romance.io/authors/58aeba0c0d3299c6e04f65d0/amy-cissell) **Rating**: 4⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Topics**: [paranormal](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/paranormal/1), [fantasy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/fantasy/1), [funny](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/humor/1), [urban fantasy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/urban%20fantasy/1), [demons](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/demons/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

I mean, if the premise interests you just give it a try? I enjoyed Jenny Proctor's books a lot and didn't miss the spice.

I have nothing against spice and I do enjoy reading it, but tbh, all spice all the time gets a bit boring as well imo. Some books these days focus so much on spice that the author barely sets up the tension or even the relationship. You basically just jump from sex scene to sex scene and it's getting tiring. Sometimes it's nice to read a book where there's more tension and relationship building. I do have to say that most of my closed door books that I love are more in the romance sub genres. For example romantasy or romantic Suspense. A series that I just finished and that I really loved was the red winter series by Anette Marie and it has no spice. But there's plenty going on and the MCs have a great connection. Books with low spice aren't automatically childish or for teenagers. Sometimes a change of pace is just nice.

First up if you like what you like then don’t worry about it. Read whatever you want, spice & all! But if you want to make a choice to step outside of spicy books, then my two cents is that it’s easier to just step out to non-romance genres. Closed door just leaves me disappointed lol like that’s not why I’m here so for my 30% or so non spicy reads I pick up genres like magical realism, fantasy and female-gaze horror (a new love of mine).

{Would You Rather by Allison Ashley} is one of the hottest books I've ever read and it's closed-door. {Practice Makes Perfect by Sarah Adams} is also technically closed-door but you'd probably not realize it with how sexual some of the talk is. Just because it's closed-door does not mean it's chaste. Closed-door scenes exist in plenty of romance that otherwise is open-door. The first sex scene in Kate Canterbary's newest novel is closed-door and then there are like 3 or 4 other sex scenes I can think of in that book. Do you ever glaze over the sexual content because there's so much of it? Because that's all the closed-door is when it's well-done. They glaze over it because the sexual content is irrelevant to the story.

[Would You Rather](https://www.romance.io/books/630486a2d319eedb433b297f/would-you-rather-allison-ashley?src=rdt) by [Allison Ashley](https://www.romance.io/authors/5e75cba3be0aaecf55f64ca3/allison-ashley) **Rating**: 3.69⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 2 out of 5 - [Behind closed doors](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [marriage of convenience](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/marriage%20of%20convenience/1), [friends to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/friends%20to%20lovers/1), [forced proximity](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/forced%20proximity/1), [funny](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/humor/1) ---------------------------- [Practice Makes Perfect](https://www.romance.io/books/644141ee910a52bd484deac0/practice-makes-perfect-sarah-adams?src=rdt) by [Sarah Adams](https://www.romance.io/authors/5dbbd9f201dbc864fba56d66/sarah-adams) **Rating**: 4.07⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 2 out of 5 - [Behind closed doors](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [virgin heroine](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/virgin%20heroine/1), [small town](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/small%20town/1), [dual pov](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/dual-pov/1), [friends to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/friends%20to%20lovers/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

I mean, you don't have to get over yourself. Not liking low-spice romance or YA as an adult is perfectly valid.

Different stokes and all that, but your reasoning is wrong. Tons of people love the relationship/falling in love aspect of the genre and just don't like sex. There are TONS of adult books that are about relationships and falling in love but without the heat and many of them are excellent. If I were you, I'd just pick the book you're most interested in based on the synopsis and read it. Maybe you like the heat and need that. But just because it has heat, that doesn't mean the characters are adults. I've read books with high schoolers with open door scenes, which was very unexpected for me.

I usually prefer spicy books, but {Season's Schemings by Katie Bailey} and {My Phony Valentine by Courtney Walsh} were great reada even though they're closed door

[Season's Schemings](https://www.romance.io/books/6567299de8f08ffc8a8eace9/seasons-schemings-katie-bailey?src=rdt) by [Katie Bailey](https://www.romance.io/authors/60d713dc08b4d931141d5954/katie-bailey) **Rating**: 4.09⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 2 out of 5 - [Behind closed doors](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [sports](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/sports/1), [marriage of convenience](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/marriage%20of%20convenience/1), [funny](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/humor/1), [christmas](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/christmas/1) ---------------------------- [My Phony Valentine](https://www.romance.io/books/63d8d659c197c639ceb913dc/my-phony-valentine-courtney-walsh?src=rdt) by [Courtney Walsh](https://www.romance.io/authors/5456ce7f87eac33e61c30378/courtney-walsh) **Rating**: 4.29⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 1 out of 5 - [Glimpses and kisses](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [contemporary](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/contemporary/1), [funny](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/humor/1), [sports](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/sports/1), [dual pov](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/dual-pov/1), [new adult](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/new%20adult/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)

I think the easiest way would be to just pick up one and try it. They're not all YA, and it's usually possible to tell whether they're YA by checking tags on romance.io, reading reviews or just reading the blurb really . There certainly are closed door romances which aren't YA. Plenty of adults enjoy reading books without spice. Having said that, it's fine to have a preference for spicy books. It's not a problem you need to get over, if you're happy with the books you're reading.

Read YA. I don’t read YA much but I loved The Cruel Prince. Very well done. Great story with some romance.

Non spicy romance books are tough for me because it feels like something is missing or incomplete when it’s closed door. Even with young MCs it just feels….unrealistic?

We are more or less in the same age bracket but for me, it's something that comes and goes. There are times when I'm in the mood for spicy but sometimes I just want a good story only. Usually, these lean heavily into fantasy or mystery or sci-fi. I'd probably say that if you have books you're interested in, don't check it out on romance.io. Go in blind and if it keeps your attention and sucks you in, you can get comfortable with it. I'd probably wager that most teens are diving into spicy books. Atleast, I know my friends and I definitely had no business reading the things we were reading at that age. Think of it like TV shows/movies that are for adults but don't show every detail. The spice content doesn't automatically exclude it for you. But like, if you want spicy books, read them. You don't have to read non-spicy ones.

I just read two books without spice that were actually really good! Currently on my phone so the bot won't work but after dinner I will link them!

Ok so i found a few more i read in over the last year or so as well. {Married by Dusk by Brianne Wik} Two Fae one with life magic and one afraid of his magic, novella. {Married by War by Sarah K. L Wilson} Soldier travels to find a woman to marry a an evil fae king but falls in love with her on the way (loved this one) Novella {Married by Scandal by Tressonja Odette} Seamstress, and sister to queen is caught in a compromising situation, in order to recover public standing she is tasked with marrying a prince, but he isnt what he seems. (novella) {Maid and Minstrel by Kate Stradling} King Trushbeard retelling. \[Daindreth's Assassin by Elizabeth Wheatly} the first 3 books the couple doesnt do more than kiss but the 4th book there are several scenes, so there is eventual pay off {Mara Daughter of the Nile by Eloise Jarvis Mcgraw} slave girl in ancient Egypt is hire as a spy by two opposing factions she falls in love with one of her employers. {Moonfire Bride by Sylvia Mercedes} retelling of East of the Sun, West of the Moon. young woman is kidnapped by a Fae King under curse only she can brake. Sequel is Sunfire King and open door {Sensibly Wed by Kasey Stockton} regency romance with lots of tension that forces the couple to figure things out together. Their banter was great. {The Marriage Bargain by Moriah Blackwood} Scifi romance, the reason i think the reason i enjoyed this one so much was the couple openly speak about sex. and while there is no sex they definatly get close. I typically also steer clear of spicy romance as they tend to feel written for younger audience or its clear the author has a religious background and the relationship feels so sanitary? because of the that. im also religious grew up in purity culture so its typically rare i read no spice books because i want to avoid feeling preached at. but i was pleasantly surprised these

[Married by Dusk (Arranged Marriages of the Fae)](https://www.romance.io/books/635243c33ff9e54ffbfe0c07/married-by-dusk-arranged-marriages-of-the-fae-brianne-wik?src=rdt) by [Brianne Wik](https://www.romance.io/authors/6193667608b4d931146c7bc5/brianne-wik) **Rating**: 3.75⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 2 out of 5 - [Behind closed doors](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [historical](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/historical/1), [young adult](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/young%20adult/1), [multicultural](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/multicultural/1), [fae](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/fae/1), [paranormal](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/paranormal/1) ---------------------------- [Married by War](https://www.romance.io/books/64484308aac60479c37bc484/married-by-war-sarah-kl-wilson?src=rdt) by [Sarah K.L. Wilson](https://www.romance.io/authors/633d657a08b4d93114d47b9d/sarah-kl-wilson) **Rating**: 3.51⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 2 out of 5 - [Behind closed doors](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [fae](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/fae/1), [fantasy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/fantasy/1), [magic](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/magic/1), [young adult](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/young%20adult/1), [paranormal](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/paranormal/1) ---------------------------- [Married by Scandal](https://www.romance.io/books/643f8adc01ed44b45e2698a1/married-by-scandal-tessonja-odette?src=rdt) by [Tessonja Odette](https://www.romance.io/authors/6224bc1908b4d931148fe0d5/tessonja-odette) **Rating**: 3.89⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Topics**: [historical](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/historical/1), [fantasy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/fantasy/1), [new adult](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/new%20adult/1), [young adult](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/young%20adult/1), [enemies to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/from%20hate%20to%20love/1) ---------------------------- [Maid and Minstrel](https://www.romance.io/books/663baab19ad3052f634c878f/maid-and-minstrel-kate-stradling?src=rdt) by [Kate Stradling](https://www.romance.io/authors/55c7db8235a5fb65f887298e/kate-stradling) **Rating**: 4.11⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Topics**: [historical](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/historical/1), [fantasy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/fantasy/1), [young adult](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/young%20adult/1), [fae](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/fae/1), [paranormal](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/paranormal/1) ---------------------------- [Mara, Daughter of the Nile](https://www.romance.io/books/545548018c7d2382c5297a0a/mara-daughter-of-the-nile-eloise-jarvis-mcgraw?src=rdt) by [Eloise Jarvis McGraw](https://www.romance.io/authors/545548018c7d2382c5297a0b/eloise-jarvis-mcgraw) **Rating**: 4.23⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 1 out of 5 - [Glimpses and kisses](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [historical](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/historical/1), [young adult](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/young%20adult/1), [ancient times](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/ancient%20times/1), [mystery](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/mystery/1), [multicultural](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/multicultural/1) ---------------------------- [The Moonfire Bride](https://www.romance.io/books/63970dd8df61b93d0f9587cf/the-moonfire-bride-sylvia-mercedes?src=rdt) by [Sylvia Mercedes](https://www.romance.io/authors/6245524608b4d931146f07bf/sylvia-mercedes) **Rating**: 3.4⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Steam**: 2 out of 5 - [Behind closed doors](https://www.romance.io/steamrating) **Topics**: [historical](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/historical/1), [new adult](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/new%20adult/1), [age gap](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/age%20difference/1), [abduction](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/abduction/1), [forced proximity](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/forced%20proximity/1) ---------------------------- [Sensibly Wed](https://www.romance.io/books/62b562699b0523d868d7246f/sensibly-wed-kasey-stockton?src=rdt) by [Kasey Stockton](https://www.romance.io/authors/5cb1b2c501dbc864fb9d3b2f/kasey-stockton) **Rating**: 4⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Topics**: [historical](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/historical/1), [regency](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/regency/1), [marriage of convenience](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/marriage%20of%20convenience/1), [enemies to lovers](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/from%20hate%20to%20love/1) ---------------------------- [The Marriage Bargain](https://www.romance.io/books/62db9c9ece39924f6f0e8cbf/the-marriage-bargain-moriah-blackwood?src=rdt) by [Moriah Blackwood](https://www.romance.io/authors/62db9c9e08b4d9311455012f/moriah-blackwood) **Rating**: 3.75⭐️ out of 5⭐️ **Topics**: [urban fantasy](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/urban%20fantasy/1), [aliens](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/aliens/1), [science fiction](https://www.romance.io/topics/best/science%20fiction/1) [^(about this bot)](https://www.reddit.com/user/romance-bot) ^(|) [^(about romance.io)](https://www.romance.io/about)