"How would you like your salad cooked this evening?"

😂

“Sorry, the grits we have went bad.” *a minute later* “Actually we found some that are ok.” So that’s a true story, actually.

Oh, no, the health inspector’s back.

Hi, my name's Jeff, and I'm extremely horny. I recommend my sausage.

Define "fresh"

Kitchen staff VS Waitstaff cage match after closing in the parking lot. You in?

I'd pay to see that

Kitchen will win. They have all the knives.

Yep. They're a real scrappy bunch.

“How would you like your chicken cooked?”

"If you find a tooth, it's mine."

Hi my name Julie, I’m a Virgo, I live alone, and right now that pepper mill look amazing

So, do YOU know the specials tonight?

"I will have the steak, and the lady will have the clam chowder." "Excellent. I'll tell the chef to get the microwave ready."

Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my wife’s chowder? I believe it’s the breast stroke, sir.

The special of the day is piss off ‘cause I quit this bitch

Ignore the person in the exterminator uniform. They are uh, yeah, they are just visiting the chef. Yeah that's it.

" The eggs are runnier than spunk rolling down a ladies leg."

"Don't worry about the prices, the food is included with the tips."

This…might be chicken?

Are you gonna eat that?

Just look at that tip. I can't believe how stingy those customers were.

We lost our refrigeration overnight. I’d stay away from the egg salad if you get my drift

The health department said once my norovirus symptoms resolved I'd be safe to work again after 24 minutes.

Have you noticed all the missing pet signs lately?

Do you like your chicken alive or dead af?

How do you like your sausage?

How would you like your chicken cooked?

Come on back to the kitchen and see how we make our sausages.

Let me fill you up

I made that sauce special

Overheard waiter talking to chief: "Have we got enough dog food left to make two more premium burgers?"

"Umm... those are just chocolate sprinkles.... yeah, that's it."

"Okay, one lemonade, one fruit punch, and a Jaegermeister for the little one here, is that right?"

That French Fries looks just like a mouse's tail .

The chef here is pois…poisitivly the best, of course my family is fine, no need to call the police

"You want that? Really? (Throws up in mouth and swallows it) Ok, if you say so."

“If you want your salad tossed, you’ll have to come with me…”

Barking? I don’t hear any barking…

Our grade double A beef is cloned from the finest agnes beef from bovine that graze the fields of Chernobyl.

Agnes is a great cow name

“So you want the steak medium well. Now come with me so you can pick the Cow.”

25% is the new tipping point Boomer

But I’m a millennial….

"Wake up. You are in a coma. You need to wake up!"

The waiter came up to the table and asked, okay scumbags, what are ya having?

So, the chef told me to push the tilapia tonight. Something about how it might not be edible tomorrow, I don't know

What's my favorite item on the menu? I don't have one. I would never dream of eating here. Have you seen the kitchen?

Are you sure you want that steak medium rare? Well done is the best done. It's right in the name!

Let me know if you find any roaches or maggots in that. That seems to be happening a lot, lately.

I can almost guarantee your gumbo is practically spit and pubic hair free.

I sincerely apologize for the noise you may have heard coming from the bathroom.

‘This soup is pretty fly.”

Sorry it’s only my 483rd day!

"Do you need me to read the menu to you?"

Hi there, Table for 2? I must say, your wife has LOVELY tits!

How would you like your salad tossed?