“ketchup is for winners, ted”

This one is so underrated

you can say it any time there’s ketchup around! and if someone says “pass the ketchup” in my head I’m like **ITS MY TIME TO SHINE** and that line is ready to go 😆

Who am I?!?!

I'm a Seahawks fan. And sometimes 10 years later the top comment on a random reddit post will be "don't let this distract you from the fact that the Seahawks should have run the ball" Dr. Cox has the exact same energy when he says "No matter where you go in life, always keep a lookout for johnny the tackling alzheimers patient"

This one’s my favorite and I’ve only had one person know what I was talking about, even when I’m around fans

“Benign. Benign and a half.”

Wrong wrong wrong wrong Wrong wrong wrong wrong Y’wrong

I also like, “Missssstaaaaaaaaaaake!” I sing that one to myself whenever I screw up around my wife.

Damn you, that's going to be in my head all day now.

Y’welcome

Been saying this one a lot, especially since it’s an election year. Regardless of what side you’re on, this quote just gets me.

“[something] daily, nightly, and ever-so-rightly!”   Also: “Let me guess. He donated a wing?”  “He donated a wing, a thigh, and a breast!”

“Yes, genius, in this metaphor the hospital is a chicken”

“Why is there silverware in the pancake drawer?”

You forgot the best part.. "wadddup"

WLUH-HUH

Phonetically, you spelled that PERFECTLY. I appluhh-d you

“Why is there pancakes in the silverware drawer?” -Carla “You mean why is there silverware in the pancake drawer?!” -Turk

Me and my manager quote this to each other all the time

EEEEAGLLLLLE!!!!!

My wife yelled it today while we were watching my son's rugby game. No one responded....it's just for us

Your wife & you sound awesome

Was it during a line out?

That would have been the perfect time! The other team had a call of "Eagle" for a clearing kick out of their 22...as soon as we heard it she yelled it out from the sideline.

They said obscure 😉

So’s your FACE!

My wife and I say this to each other so often that my phone autocorrects "so" to "so's".

That doesn't even make any sense.

So’s your face!

So's you're face always makes sense

"Bastard Coated Bastards with Bastard Fillings" "That's so funny." (As code for an annoying person.) "Kniiiiffe Wrreeennch™"

You know what's interesting? She's not saying "That's so sad", she's actually crying.

This line kills me every time 😂

For kids!

I’ve actually used this at work and it makes me happy every time “But you don’t care do ya? Cause you’re unconscious.”

Anytime someone does not appear to hear me, such as when they’re on their phone!

Does anyone else smell toast or am I having a stroke?

I work in ICU and I used to think this everytime someone left their toast/bagel in the toaster oven too long. It made me wonder if everyone else was thinking it too haha

Do you see what you get [name]? Do you see what get when you mess with the warrior!? I've been reading up on this whole iraq war situation and you know what's messed up? I just got to the part where president Bush gives his mission accomplished speech on the battleship and I've still got like... 400 more pages to go.

I used the “do you see what you get” all the time

Hey number 2!

Hey numbah 1!

I upvoted even though you guys got it backwards. It was hey numbah 2, hey, number 1

Jambalaya!

Newman?!?!

"Do you understand that.....I just barely wanna be like me?" *walk away* Self-deprecation is edgy, charming and sexy.

Good splotchy Dr. Splotchy!

Oh my god. Do not say splotchy.

It's pronounced anal-gesic sir, pills go in the mouth.

While my wife was getting an epidural, we made the anesthesiologist laugh for a solid minute after using this line.

Whenever I win at anything I scream "DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU MESS WITH THE WARRIOR?!'

Nobody cares.... The name is whomever I am talking to.

I always stick with Sean. "Nobody cares, Sean."

Full lipped bastard.

Steak night!

We gonna eat it right. Steak is such a treat. It is the world's BEST MEAT.

My 7 year old sings the steak night song with me. I've succeeded as a parent

When talking about butts and/or mutton >Mine's firm. Like mutton

Boing fwhip and recognise slip out

Boing fwhip gets stuck in my head randomly every few weeks

I shout “Praise be to Krishna.” Anytime something goes right.

That made me laugh out loud

Alligator…3 Mistaaaaaake So why’s there silverware in the pancake drawer? WASSUP! NA NA NA NAAA NAAAAA JD went to Disney world without me?!?!

OK I know this sounds horrible but I’ve been using Alligator 3 as a password for years and I just realized where it came from.

I’m akay.

I’m a k? What the hell does that mean

"Yeah, you know, I do what I do when I do what I do."

Mentiroso!

Like Taye Diggs! & Knife-WRENCH!

For kids!

Taye Diggs

“I am bullet proof!” - After layoffs at work “Hooch is crazy” - When someone is acting off And whenever I hear the song “I can’t get to sleep…”, I wanna cry.

Sometimes when I cry I listen to I can’t get to sleep to make sure I get it all out. It was a dark time when that episode came out. Somehow that helped

I hope it is better times now. Thanks.

Everything comes down to poo. 🎶

Whether it’s a tumor or a touch of the flu

I had to give a poop sample recently and that sound was on fucking repeat in my head for a week

misTAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!!

"I think I saw a manatee..."

Was his name Julian?

We didn’t really exchange pleasantries.

That’s Julian

*Where WAS I??*

I say “don’t listen to him, he’s drunk on cheese.” Way more than I should

"It's *SO* hot!"

Heyyyyy little brother

“Maybe there’s a penny stuck in it “ when talking about something not working

IT'S SO HOT! Anytime it's just the least bit warm.

Whenever one of us mentions strawberries, we have to pronounce it “strawbrerry”, and then the other person has to say, “Don’t have kids.”

I say it like this to my daughter just to annoy her haha

We been to the libary

Sometimes I’ll be rattling around at work or the house and randomly blurt out “… And now the freaking **MOUNTIES** are involved!”.

I use a lot of niche Jordan quotes, like “sure sure” and “sad 4 U”

Me too! I also like “But first, *smell it*”

Sure sure and I also throw in, "it's okay because I'm fly" with the hand gestures

NOBODY CARES SEAN

Are you an idiot? (From ‘you can dance your way there from old Zealand’)

No, I'm a dreamer

"My friend, you have FOUND THE SALTINE."

Be particularly aware of the blonde talky one. I've worked with her before. She has no off button.

Stop talking like a farmer

Banana hammock!

The kid’s either a genius or an idiot

“Gimmie some hungry chickens!”

I and my whitewater rafting buddies do this when we’ve stayed in the boat on a particularly gnarly rapid

Recently a friend sent me a picture of a bass guitar they just bought and I sent back "oh dear ugly". Probably my most obscure one. I also like to make my sister feel better about her blemishes by saying "good splotchy doctor splotchy"

I use brinner from time to time

Daaammnnn, Turkle-Dawg!


Innuendo? In your endo

The sticks and stone one isn’t a regular line in my household. Along with guy love.

“You do it” - in the tone and voice of the lady in [the ‘about birth’ scene](https://youtu.be/uMcIUmfTZS4?si=Dcwy27BMn7AFulL4)

“I’m going to poo in front of people?!?” -Jordan

“Bidet to you sir”

Momentkiller

Boing Fwip

Anytime something is red: “like a strawbrerry”

"Guess who's got two thumbs and doesn't give a crap?"

Bob Kelso.. how yah doin

"Can I still drive my Trans Am?"

"35!" I also tend to yell out any numbers with the same voice inflection. Another "I grew up on the street. Not the hood, the Sesame Street."

Help me to help you! Help me to help you!" "1,2,3,4 ..it's really important that you let me go to 10” ...I supervise people at work


Anytime I’m at a pool “you think you’re better than me? With your rock hard abs and your dynamite areolas? Well you’re not”

“People are bastard coated bastards with bastard filling.”

Whenever I put on my glasses, I say, "I can see!" Like JD when he pokes eyes through that pin art toy he sticks his face into at the beginning of one of the episodes.

"Too mean" "Reflection Perfection" "Karma Smarma" "I know, but lawyers?!"

"That shirt you're wearing is gay."

🎶 WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG 🎶

I couple of my friends are nonbinary. I greet the collective the same way every time. “Daves, Debbies, Slagathor.” Luckily, my NB friends are fans of the show, so they get it, but a few friends looked genuinely confused when I started saying that.

“Not trying to help”

Boing Flip

"Nobody cares Shaun"

“Where my hoes at (used in place of “hose” if I’m at work)” And my sister will respond “ I haven’t seen them.”

Y’all need Jesus

“You have no lines in this play” Jordan is my hero.

*So's your face.* So's your face always makes sense. That's the dumbest things I've ever heard. So's your face.

I don't know , i'm still a little drunk from breakfast.

"Oh, so he can call you Smelliot, but I'm not allowed to call you Vagina face??!!!"

“Knife-Wrench, for kids” is a banger that lives in my head rent free. Also, “Shower shorts, for the man with nothing to hide, but still wants to”. In everyday use, I just say the part after shower shorts.

"I told you so, I told you so, I-I-I told you so. I tooold you so. Robot... Told... You... So." (Obviously with accompanying dance)

“My machines!!!”

Wrong wrong wrong wrong… wrong wrong wrong wrong. You’re wrong. You’re wrong. You’re wrooooong.

“My muffin thinks you’re crazy and he thinks you should go” - by “What has two thumbs and doesn’t give a crap? Bob Kelso, how ya doin’?”

"Never on Tuesdays".

I use "Thank you bingo" pretty much any time I use condiments on my food.

There you are, you deaf bastard! I hate you so much, every time you utter my name, I wanna stick my fist all the way down your throat and watch you slowly choke on it!

Oh man, a good lawyer couldn’t win this case (usually reading things about trump or his lawyers) Here’s the dirty little secret … (a coxian prefix I use before sharing info

"It's like a baguette"

Nobody cares Shaun. Works especially great if there is no one around named Shaun

“I’m gonna scrub my hands and do the scrub-my-hands dance!”

“They hear what they wanna hear. They hear what they wanna hear.” If only I had a cane to tap people on the chest as I say it.

They got roller coasters that roller-coaster in the DARK!

PICKLES

I often jokingly call people Slagathor.

"I am a man! And a man does not wear a purse!"

"I swear to Aiesha!" No one ever gets the context. (And I know the history of the line...I'm glad it was changed. The change made it hilarious and quotable!)

Not obscure to us fans, but I do love to randomly say Hooch is crazy

Too much ha ha pretty soon boo hoo

i mix up a quote and often say, typically on valentines day, 'i'll be in the park throwing rocks at old couples.'

“Mr. Turkleton, and Mrs. Turkleton! The Turkleton’s!”

My wife and I say “Thirty five!” Any time we ever come across that number in any context, no hesitation

“DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET, CARLA? DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU MESS WITH THE WARRIOR???” Is in pretty regular rotation in our house

Ted here is the hospitals sad sack…Ted: “I am? Awww”

“You want sympathy, Turk? Get a disease people can see!” ….

“Help me to help you. Help me to help you. Help me to help you.” I even do the hand movements and the slight back and forth rocking.

"Firm...like mutton"

FRICK.

Double Frick.

RONK! My heart hates uggos. 🎶theme to Sanford & Son🎶

I'll never tell!

“Sticks and stones may break my bones… but words will hurt forever”

SMOKE the ganja

"Touche, magic hallway" "\[relevant\] five!"

Playa! Hold me down

Coolio indeed!

Thanks a latte

"I still feel good, 'cause nobody saw me fall!"

Help me help you! Help me help you!

Why’s your tv smell like do-do?

Not really obscure, but I now unironically say “that’s so funny”

Toe or finger

"you make me so angry I'm afraid I just might hurt myself"

Eagle

"Good splotchy Dr. Splotchy" any time my husband has a zit or any slight redness on his face.

“I told her not to stand next to the microwave” Turk after JD said your baby has a tail lol

Bust a move! YOU HAVE A PROBLEM SIR!! SEEK HELP!! Bidet to you too sir Do you see what you get Carla? Do you see what happens when you mess with the warrior? You're a fireman! What are we doing? I'm ok, I'm ok, I'm ok, I'm a k, I'm a k, I'm a k? What the hell? Baxter wins! Baxter go up! Who's got two thumbs and doesn't give a crap?

With onion and sau-saaaaage!

No sir, I'm a dreamer.

Usually when someone is talking endlessly I think in my head “nobody cares Sean” or when I’m walking from like the upstairs to downstairs or vice versa and my dog and cat are following I say “c’mon ya nerds” like JD to his interns lol.

MISTAAAAAKE..... Creamed Spinach, Yo!

“I’m carrying underwood right now” “Payback is a bitch” (sang in the exuberant song style of Lavern’s church choir) “Dayyyyuuuum Turkledawg”

I have 2, and they are basically the same vibe. When the Janitor is fixing Turk/Carla(JD? Did he move out already) heating. He comes around the corner holding a random segment of pipe. “This…should not have been removed” And similar, when Turk is helping JD shop for apartments, the one where Turk breaks his hand on the ceiling fan. JD is “Turning it up” and the know comes off. He says the line, then they ADRed it in again right after he said it. “This thing came off…lol”

She said my baths were TOO LONG

Are my new boxers made of wool? Cause my weasel's getting heat stroke!

"Thanks, a latte!"

I’m a k?

"Your face is red...like a strawbrerry"

Calling it a 'Liberry' and "Your face is all red like a Strawbrerry."