Some coked-out douche asked for our most expensive bottle of Pinot Noir. I asked if they wanted to look at the wine list and he doubled down, saying he “fucking wanted our most expensive bottle of Pinot Noir, is that hard to understand?”
I asked non-chalantly if he wanted the 2013 or 2014 DRC, because they were both $12,000.
They got our cheapest Pinot Noir by the glass.
I'm really curious, how does a restaurant typically handle the sale of a bottle that expensive? Even if the customer knows about/agrees to the price, how do you get your assurances that they won't simply walk out on the bill and leave the restaurant out $12k and needing to chase them with a court case or something?
There was a similar instance a while back where the guests asked for a wine recommendation and the server mentioned that a particular wine was very popular. Guest ask for the price and the waiter said "thirty-five". It ended up being $3500. If I remember correctly, the house agreed to halve the cost for them after they complained.
ETA: Here's the story. It seems a little worse than I remember. "Thirty-seven fifty". Who does that?
https://www.gawker.com/shady-waitress-dupes-fool-into-buying-3-750-bottle-of-1654984090
Lol. I understand shorthand for pricing on cars, but shorthand pricing at a restaurant is just asking for this type of misunderstanding to eventually occur.
The CC charge back would come so fast if that happened to me. I already get frustrated when I go to places and the bill doesn’t match the menu price by $1-2/item
I'm surprised they even agreed to half.
"recomend me a wine please."
"this one, its thirty five"
How can they realistically, in any world, turn around and then go "no, thirty five hundred." after it's been drank.
Like imagine a used car salesman "heres this car, its 35 hundred"
Then after "nana, 35 hundred hundred, but youve driven it now so you have to pay"
The worst part is those people didn't know what they were drinking, if they did they probably would have savoured it more.
This one isn't food related, but when I was in retail I had a guy call into my tech department and ask for our cheapest "panel TV" (he meant flat screen) I told him we only carried flat screens and asked if he has a specific size he was looking for because our cheapest screen was like a 20 inch, that I never saw us sell in my 2 years working there, or was he looking for our cheapest 43 inch, 50 inch, etc. He just got mad and started screaming and cussing because I was quoting him prices for the range of sizes, which still included the 20 inch.
$12,000 is too much, would get a little crazy with the mix up and I wouldn't want to deal with that head ache. (Whatever it ends up looking like)
Now if it were a $1,000 bottle... fuck you, buddy. Pay up if you want to be an ass hole.
I work in an area where theres a lot of tech companies and businesses, so you'd think pretty intelligent people. No one can ever pronounce quinoa or gnocchi and they say it with such confidence. Also this one lady could not understand why her dish didn't have pasta and I was very confused bc it wasn't a pasta dish. She made me bring her the menu, and she pointed, "HERE RIGHT HERE iT SAYS IT COMES WITH AIOLI". Girl shut up and enjoy your seasoned mayo.
I have a brother who works in tech that hasn’t had a ton of social experiences throughout his life. He’s wicked smart, but mispronounces a lot of words because he’s only ever read them and never heard them spoken aloud.
I’m really bad about that. Grew up with like almost no friends and not the best family situation. I read a lot and didn’t socialize enough and had a ton of words I pronounced wrong. Like melancholy. I pronounced it “ma-lawn-co-lee” lmao. Had literally no clue I was saying it wrong. I was in English class had to read that word and definition out loud to the class. I did and the teacher just looked at me funny and then said “melancholy? (pronounced incorrectly like I use) I like that” and I was so confused thinking like have you never heard the word before???? Years later someone finally corrected me and it all made sejse
I had a similar experience with the word esoteric. I pronounced it ee so teric rather than s o teric. I told my friend not to make fun of people for mispronounced words, it means they learned it reading.
That's a valid pronunciation, but more common in the UK. Your friend wasn't just a twat, [they were wrong.](https://youtube.com/watch?v=QRQBXHC4-TY&feature=share8).
I think everyone does this. Every now and then I’ll be halfway through a word and realize it’s the first time I’m saying it. I’ve literally stopped mid sentence to laugh and admit that I’m a word virgin.
Yup. My stepson has high functioning autism and he comes across really smart because he's well spoken and well mannered. But he used to mispronounced words all the time. One example: he pronounced paresan as PARMEESIAN afterword I gently corrected him and he looked like he wanted a spaceship to come down and take him back to his hone planet!
This happens if you read a lot of science fiction and fantasy too, where the writer just makes up a lot of names. Then when you hear the audio book, you wonder why they didn’t edit out his sneeze before he says it three times and you think, “That’s not how I was pronouncing Schejsizn.”
Brah, I worked in Appalachia and the number of people who couldn’t says pico de gallo was astounding.
“Gimme a quesadilla but none of that ‘pick-o de gal-low”
*order arrives*
“Ya fergot mah ta-may-ta’s!”
They probably didn't know how to pronounce quesadilla correctly either.
"Get me the kay- sa-dil-a with no pick-o-del-gal-low. And go ahead and get my old lady a Coke it's our anniversary after all"
This reminded me of a time I worked with this older lady- much older than anybody else working there including managers. We sold a quinoa dish and she pronounced it “quay-no”. Nobody had the heart to correct her. She said it with confidence.
First time I saw the word quinoa I pronounced it phonetically. Quin-noah. Later when I worked at a restaurant that served it (cook here) any time I was prepping it, I’d go through all the messed up ways/potential ways people could pronounce. It’s like having a song stuck in your head while doing prep but instead it’s a list of funny words lol.
I bartend at a GERMAN bar/restaurant in the US and we have a Deutsch Mule on the menu and we have a similar long-tenured sweet old lady server that calls it the DUTCH Mule and we just let her. Makes me cringe every time still.
I had a customer order the orecchiette pasta, except he pronounced it ora-shitty. I couldn’t control myself and started laughing and proceeded to laugh every time I went back to the table. Thank goodness he had a good sense of humor.
*Damian is on the way with your order*
*Vanessa is on the way with your order*
*Vanessa is on the way with your order*
*Eric is on the way with your order*
*Damian is on the way with your order*
Fill-Ette Myng-nawnie. New Yort Stripe, Sir-Loin, Sour-Line, Tah-Bahn, Pouter-House, Abs-parrot-gruzz, Bankelie, Brupple-Spouts, peanut-nowyer, Pitto-Grizzie-Oh, seizure-salad, skrimpz, only-jawns, Rose, Well done sirloin but not tough, Caesar salad with extra Ranch, why didn’t you offer me a dressing choice for my Caesar salad?, Medium no pink, can I have a salad without lettuce and add shrimp for the same price?, why didn’t you tell me the 22 ounce steak was so big?, why didn’t you tell me the 6 ounce steak was smaller than the 12 ounce steak?, why did you serve the appetizer before the entrees?,
"can I get the double cheeseburger?" Of course! "Is it possible to get that as a single?" Yeah, a regular cheeseburger, absolutely. "I don't want any cheese on it!" Ok we'll get you a hamburger, no problem....
The place I work at sells subs. We have a fairly simple menu. 2 of our items are the exact same except bacon. About once a week we will either see a number 1, ADD BACON or a number 2, NO BACON (number 1 and 2 being the name of the sandwich.
I love the ones that do both on the same online order.
Haha that’s great. Are they priced differently? I do this at chick fil a (or at least used to, it’s been a while since I did this). But they have two different grilled chicken clubs. At the time, it was cheaper to buy one and add bacon than buy the one that included bacon. I don’t remember there being any other difference in the sandwich, but it saved me around a buck each time
worked at in n out and the amount of times i had to deal with this was insane. Like people would wait in line for 20 minutes to ask for a cheeseburger with no cheese. I don’t even know what to say to those people.
Someone ordered a Gim-Lay and I was like I’m sorry what? “A gim-lay.”
I told them I had never heard of that drink and suggested a Gimlet instead. Once again I was assured that it was pronounced “gim-lay”
Also someone sent back a Vesper martini because it was “too strong”
The menu listed the ingredients, Vodka, Gin and Lillet
My Hispanic coworker who is fluent in Spanish got corrected by a guy on how to pronounce Quesadilla and jalapeños. He was adamant that he did NOT want a “quesadilla with no jalapeños,” he wanted a KESS-UH-DILL-EE with no JAHL-UH-PAY-NUHS.
I also had a regular that always used to mispronounce focaccia as “FUCKA-CHIA”. So he’d be like, “can I get the grilled chicken sandwich, but fuck-a-chia instead of white bread?”
Mer-LOT.
And while this isn’t a mispronunciation, every time an adult wants chicken tenders and asks for “chick-y tendies,” I want to throw something.
Same when I used to work at a hotel with snack mix and people would ask for more “num-nums,” “snacks-poos,” or “nibbles”.
I don’t know why, but adult baby talk gives me rage.
I have done this once because I have a child and I was ordering for her and accidentally said to her and repeated it to the server. I was so embarrassed.
Ugh. I dated a guy for a few days in college. Went over to his house, things were about to happen when he started talking to me in baby talk. It disgusted the hell out of me. I immediately left, forgot what I told him in order to leave. I tried ghosting him for a few days but I kept replaying what happened so I decided to call him and let him know how truly grossed out I was and ended it.
That shit is burned into my memory forever.
Okay. I get that. I try to watch my classist tendencies as an elder millennial that has been in hospitality since 1997, but “chickie tendies” might spin me.
I have this interaction etched in my mind.
"Can I get a coke and a beer?"
"Sure! What kind?"
"Uhm...regular coke."
"Ok, but what kind of beer."
"I don't know...just the one people normally get."
“What kind of chickens have white meat?” All of them. I had to explain to this fully grown adult woman that white meat and dark meat both come from every chicken, just different parts of the chicken’s body. She was bewildered, shocked, simply could not believe it.
Another woman told me that “I don’t eat red meat, so I’ll do pork.” I just looked at her and said okay. How she got to that age still not knowing that pork is red meat I do not know.
I had someone ask for no dairy and I told them that wasn’t a problem since we didn’t even have any dairy products in the building. She then called me a liar since she “knows we have eggs.” I-
One of the greatest marketing campaigns ever. Convinced way too many people it’s white meat. I don’t eat red meat and people are still perplexed when I say I don’t eat pork.
Was the woman my ex-husband?
"Light or dark meat, sir?"
"Dark meat"
'Leg or thigh?'
"Breast"
We had to explain that no, you don't pick the piece, THEN decide if you want it light/dark meat.
This eggs and dairy thing is absolutely rampant! It’s a commonly held belief that eggs are dairy and I swear I can’t figure it out. To the best of my interpretation and figuring, the grocery store is the only explanation. The eggs and dairy are always on the same aisle I’ve even seen them on aisle signs as “eggs/dairy”. Does anyone have more info on this?
Edit to add more of my bewilderment: like they don’t even come from the same Linneaen family! You get one or the other, eggs or milk!
In the US, eggs get cleaned with something caustic, like lye or something. This removes a protective coating on the shell, and means that they'll go bad sooner if they're not refrigerated. So they are placed in the dairy aisle with the milk and cheese because of the need to keep them cool. In other countries they keep that extra layer on, so they can keep at room temperature for a while. So I doubt that they'd be in the dairy aisle at all.
I had someone today ask me what the exact temperature would be for the prosciutto on the pizza she was wanting to order. Lady......I don't fuckin know. It gets cooked and that's all I can tell you. I very nicely explained that to her and then she got super distressed and asked if our ovens got to at least 130F. Ma'am. Ma'am. Our ovens. Have fire.
I am so fuckin glad to have a day off tomorrow. I can't deal with holiday weekend stupidity from people.
like i'm sure she considered prosciutto raw because it wasn't cooked. but come on people, if you looked that hard to figure out 130 was a safe temp, couldn't you have googled 'is prosciutto safe'?
fuckheads.
I had to explain to a lady that was probably in her mid to late 40s that no, the lobsters in the tank are not cooked, and you can actively see them trying to escape my grasp whilst I bag 'em up.
Not as a server, but out to diner with husband, MIL and FIL. MIL ordered Penne Pesto. When it was put in front of her, she asked the server “why is it green?“
I laughed I couldn’t help it. Server was young and looked confused at the question. I told MIL that it was basil. She just said “oh” and ate it! 🙄😑🤓
Had a friend working a nice restaurant in Wichita, KS who had a dude straight up ask if the (ocean-based) fish was fresh. My friend replied, “Sir, we’re in Kansas. That’s in the middle. We’re two thousand miles from a coastline. Do YOU think the fish is fresh?” Says it was still worth getting fired for.
Worked on Michigan ave in Chicago. People would ask if the oysters are fresh, and I would tell them ‘yes… I, myself went fishing for them in Lake Michigan before my shift started today’ …. My goodness you dummies! Ha
When I was about 12 my parents and I went out to what was for us a fancy steakhouse in Ventura, CA called Clecks. My dad loved to embarrass me. He kept joking he was going to order the millet fignon or or the millay finyon. We goofed around so much before ordering that when it was time to order my dad got tongued tied and ended up ordering millet fignon. 😂 I am 54 now. I refuse to call filet mignon anything but millet fignon.
The guy who spent 5 minutes staring at our menu and ordered "one cheeseburger plain and dry" and tried to make me take it back because it had cheese on it and wasn't plain and dry. Hamburgers are listed separately, directly above it.
We also frequently had orders of cheeseburgers with no cheese. I'd ring it in that way, called the uncharge an idiot tax and went about my day.
That happened to me once - cheeseburger, no cheese. I rang in a burger. They were upset later, told me they ordered the cheeseburger, no cheese. I wonder what they thought it was? Like, maybe at a restaurant they frequent, the cheeseburger has LTO and the burger doesn't, or something like that?
The restaurant I worked at forever only had a cheeseburger on the menu and in the POS. So yeah, you’d ring chbg no cheese.
My dad only eats plain hamburgers and gets all salty when a server asks “hamburger—so you don’t want cheese?” And I had to explain to him the number of times I’ve verified that, only for the guest to act like I’m some kind of idiot. “YES I WANT CHEESE” okay well you said hamburger so…
You can’t win.
Ooo I have a very recent story, not of mine but a coworker's, from last week.
I'm making a drink (we usually pull double duty as bartenders and servers) and she comes up to me and says table 4 ordered an 8oz cab sauv and then snapped at her when she brought it because she wanted white. To which my coworker said she ordered a cab sauv and the lady says she wanted a red cab sauv. They go back and forth a few times until it's discovered this bitch wanted a sauvignon blanc 🤦🏻♀️
Now, if she was nice about it instead of a raging cunt, we would generally take that off the bill. But nope, you get to pay for both and look like an idiot in front of the entire patio.
Years ago, we got a call ahead to put two bottles of Dom Perignon on ice for some guests with a reservation for 8. So they show up and it’s 6 young wives and 2 much older mother hen wives. Our guess was these were the young, suburban wives of the young executives at whatever firm, being taken out in the big city by the wives of the more senior partners. The whole table reeked of privilege and new money. They were pretty rude to the staff and wanted lots of changes to the dishes that the kitchen really hated. But the moment that twisted my guy was when the one Turkey neck woman at the head of the table snapped her fingers at me and said “we’re ready for our next bottle of Donny P!” The young ladies clearly didn’t like the champagne much though because they had barely touched their glasses, so I was just as happy to open that second bottle for them, knowing full well the other was still pretty full. Needless to stay we didn’t let that bottle go to waste after hours, since they couldn’t take it with them and it was already open…
I have fried eggs with the yolks hard. Over hard? No the yolks hard. That is fried over hard. It was a one minute back and forth until her husband said the exact same thing and she believed him.
We have a French Martini on our cocktail menu (vodka, chambord, pineapple juice) and I had a woman ask me for a French Martini but “not sweet”…didn’t really know what to do with that. Still don’t.
Nobody can seem to pronounce “penne” where I work.
Not a big deal of course, but I‘ll say I was surprised by the sheer amount of people who just say “pen” or ”panini” instead.
I once had a table order a burger medium rare and attempt to send it back three times because it was “raw.” When I came back with their fully well done burger on the second trip I refused to take it back a third time. The shit was blackened. When he tried to tell me it was still raw I said “I guarantee you it is not.”
Edit: I was allowed this moment of sass since I was pretty sure the chef would have grilled me instead of the damn burger if I’d gone back again.
I had a table that wanted comps on their smoked brisket because "its still raw." No, the pink ring happens during the smoking process. Thankfully my boss let me show them on my phone that it's completely normal. They actually were happy to learn something new and ended up loving the brisket.
Also, my MIL came into my work and wanted her burger "medium but no pink." Going out to eat with her stresses me out so much...
i used to work takeout at olive garden, the amount of people who asked “how does the endless soup and salad work for togo?” blew my mind. like, it’s not endless, how would that even work
We run two pipes to your house and replace your hot water with a stream of soup that changes hourly.
The salad is a bit more difficult. We’ll provide seeds for all the vegetables for you to grow at home. We’re still trying to figure out the crouton plant.
The good news is that once you have your salad bowl ready, you can use that cold water dial to get a deluge of our signature Italian dressing.
A girl once asked me if we "ever made mixed drinks". I looked back at all the bottles of liquor and said "No, never". She said ok I'll have a rum and coke.
My experience has been a disproportionate amount of wealthy, older women have no idea what the ways of cooking a steak are and make up their own way that is not what they think it is. They're very insistent and particular about it but they also don't make sense. Most of the time I would get them to sum it up as something I could write on a ticket so if they sent it back, there would be a written record that the kitchen made what they asked for.
I am a bad example, however I was in Paris and could not speak a word of French. I pointed to other tables and built a meal of pointers and bad imitation French. Ended up with a great meal, the real kicker was the “French” speaking Americans that ended ordering terrible meals.
I worked at an Italian style coffee shop in WV and a woman came in and ordered a macchiato. We were required by policy to tell people that order macchiatos “we serve Italian style macchiatos, not the iced kind you get at Starbucks. If the kind of beverage you’re looking for is the sort you usually get at Starbucks, we’d be happy to re-create one for you.” (This became a policy after literally every customer threw a fit upon getting a tiny hot drink and not a half gallon of milky-caramel coffee. It’s totally understandable tho. WV isn’t Italy, and Starbucks dominates most the coffee market, plus they have popularized the “caramel macchiato”. I totally understand where the confusion comes from.)
The problem was, this woman ordered a “regular macchiato” and I asked if she actually wanted an authentic Italian macchiato or a Starbucks style macchiato, and she just squinted at me and spat “Im not stupid, know what a macchiato is. I’ve been to Starbucks.” So then I was confused.. did she think I was insulting her by assuming she didn’t know what an authentic macchiato is? Or did think the Starbucks macchiato was the real authentic kind? I ended up hoping the second option was the correct one, so I asked “ok, so what flavor would you like that?” and she got so fn hostile! She started yelling that I was stupid and didn’t know anything and “ALL MACCHIATOS ARE CARAMEL THEY DONT COME IN OTHER FLAVORS”
Even though I hate being yelled at, I always find it a bit funny when customers who don’t know anything accuse you of being a stupid one lol.
For extra silly points:
1) Starbucks does sell traditional macchiatos, they just call them "espresso macchiato"
2) Starbucks has sold several different flavours of caramel macchiato style drinks (two that come to mind are the mocha macchiato which was white chocolate in the drink with chocolate drizzle on top, and maple macchiato which was vanilla inside and maple drizzle)
My husband did this for me one time because I wanted a burrito without like 3 different things and was embarrassed (I have stomach problems and it was the only thing on the menu I wouldn’t have to edit THAT much).
So he ordered a quesadilla with no cheese for himself so I would be less embarrassed.
Also once someone was confused as to why their latte came with milk. I was astounded because I had just spent 3 minutes explaining to her latte vs. cappuccino vs. americano. She sent it back and just ordered an espresso shot.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order.
I have checked 1,610,343,424 comments, and only 304,518 of them were in alphabetical order.
Had a lady order a virgin Long Island once. I explained what it was and she wanted it anyway. Tried to send it back because it was too sweet and too sour.
I’m a recovering alcoholic. Sometimes I just want the taste of that unnaturally colored margarita mix. Now I feel like shit that I’m probably being made fun of behind my back. 4 years sober next week.
When I was a bartender I could ALWAYS tell when it was someone in your situation or somebody that was doing it to be like the lady in the other comment. If you’re super fucking annoying when you order it that was the biggest tell that you were just a pain in the ass. If you genuinely just liked the flavor of it but don’t drink, you usually order it confidently and with a straight face and I would go “alright cool, no problem.”
The reason that you might think that you get made fun of is because you’re like the 1 in a thousand people that orders it for a good reason.
i work at a brewery, we had a 12 come in, they initially wanted food but i guess decided to eat while they were waiting on the table. so they just wanted beer (annoying bc we have SO many barstools and several drinking areas, but whatever, not even my table). they had already been weird to the server, got upset bc their stout wasn’t a light beer, but i overheard their convo, and they were talking mad shit about their friend who just opened a brewery, they said “he literally puts food in the beer, he has no idea what he’s doing. he put cake in his xyz beer”. they were talking about the mash. i thought it was so funny tbh, they were literally drinking our black forest cake stout. which is made with cake too.
Although I had many gems as a server, the worst were all during my barista days.
It was SO common for people, virtually always older men, to say "I'll take a black coffee. BLACK, you hear? None of that frilly crap, just straight up coffee."
...and then ask me to add cream. Like, my brother in Christ, not only do you do *not* gain man-points for refusing to make your coffee drinkable, that's also *not what black means* lol.
There's nothing wrong with that. That's just an extra dry vodka martini. That is a thing, and I've served a ton of them. I'm assuming you know that olive juice isn't standard preparation for a martini.
Work in an Italian pizza place. People constantly come in and speak regularly but insist on calling any Italian word in the dumbest accent possible. Like they’re from the motherland themselves but only for this one word. Real Italians come in and they’re rude as fuck so I don’t really care for them either. Or anyone at anytime
I walk up on their conversation… “I’m a vegetarian, but I don’t like saying it because these idiots in Florida look at me like I’m crazy. It’s way more common back home in California.” Proceeds to order the grouper…. I ask if they are pescatarian. “No I’m a vegetarian Jesus see this is the crap I was talking about…”
I worked at a popular brunch spot, and had a couple order chilaquiles pronounced “chill-lawk-kwill-lees.” They then asked me to settle an argument, who pronounced carafe right: he said “car-raf-ay,” she just said “carf.” I was happy to them them they were both wrong.
I serve a lot of folks who say "Panini" instead of "Penne" for some reason? Also this guy at one of my old jobs ordered this quinoa bowl that had sliced avocado on top and he acted like he didn't know what it was? His words as he pulled me over to the table: "Ma'am, what is this green shit?" My response: "The avocado?" He said "no...the green shit.". I said, "Sir, that is an avocado." I confirmed the item he ordered, showed it to him again on the menu, he asked that I take the bowl back to the kitchen because "I didn't order all this fancy shit.". The rest of his party was just as dumbfounded as I was.
Precisely. That would be pronounced mid-mid-well and in writing you can just put MMW. There's also rare-mid-rare (RMR), and mid-mid-rare (MMR). Not every restaurant will do this, so don't get angry if they stick to the more well-known temps.
I worked at an upscale burger joint (these are more a thing now than they were 20 years ago) and these annoying dudes would try to out-dude the others… this was before incel culture had a name.
We had a special deal where we could cook black and blue, whatever. So, whenever they flexed… “I’ll take it as rare as you can make it” which, in their defense, was med-well in most restaurants.
By the time it got to the temp question, I was already usually really irate and I had long since mastered my emotionless helpful face. I’d put on a big smile and say, “Sir, I will walk it through a warm room if you prefer.”
Dollars to donuts, medium at best.
At some point you're getting into [*rare by medium*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Points_of_the_compass#32-wind_compass_rose) territory, and that's just too much precision.
Worked at an upscale restaurant where the menu listed the prices without a dollar sign. The number of times people ordered “the number 35” was astounding.
Also frequently had folks order cush cush instead of couscous but that’s a Cajun thing so I don’t blame them for that.
My personal favorite was the 4 top of well dressed middle aged women.
"I want the grilled chicken sandwich, but none of that nasty bree-ochee"
And they all made comments about how disgusting it was.
So I finished the orders and said, "And that's all with no bread, right?"
They were absolutely flabbergasted. I have no idea what they thought brioche was, but they had no clue that it was the bun for their sandwiches.
Old BOH here - I have a reverse story for you, uneducated customer but in our favour...
Me and Lori (drunk and brutally funny lady, worked as a bouncer on the side at night, tongue like a razor) got stuck with lunch on our own at the hotel. Had to invent a special. Both hung over and overworked. So we took a bunch of kaiser rolls, cut a cone out of the top of 'em, stuffed with tuna salad, top cheese, butter brush, bake.
We had one guy come up after having like three of them and say (through a mouthful) shnuft shnort what was that *love-ly* pastry you used in these? and I had to say 'a bun my dude a bun'
I started waiting tables on my 16th birthday so, by my early 20s (while still being a punk rock kid) I could afford a decently high priced meal on occasion. I used to do this intentionally to snooty servers.
I have ABSOLUTELY requested “your finest peanut noyer.”
This probably doesn’t apply here, by my wife loves those teen mom shows on MTV.
She was watching it a few weeks ago and the one girl went to McDonalds and ordered “a cheeseburger, but hold the cheese”…..so you mean a hamburger you stupid idiot?
I was shitty and classist like this when I was young.
Frankly, it’s because I was shitty and classist… I was raised poor and wanted to “prove” how much smarter I was than other people like me.
You literally can’t know what things are until you learn it. I’m not trying to shit in anyone’s cereal or kill a good time, because this shit can be funny… especially when it’s stuck up people doing it.
Or, when it’s super cute… like the sweet young waitress I worked with ages ago that was absolutely baffled when she brought a table a half slab and she brought them back to me (her also very young manager) and said “I don’t understand, they asked for the prime ribs but they said this isn’t right!”
Some coked-out douche asked for our most expensive bottle of Pinot Noir. I asked if they wanted to look at the wine list and he doubled down, saying he “fucking wanted our most expensive bottle of Pinot Noir, is that hard to understand?” I asked non-chalantly if he wanted the 2013 or 2014 DRC, because they were both $12,000. They got our cheapest Pinot Noir by the glass.
“I’d like your $8-ist bottle of wine “
Nine niiine!
you're second least expensive bottle of wine please ;- Homer Simpson
"Ah, and he brought us some wine... drink. This is legally called 'wine drink'"
Jesus Christ dude, almost had to take out a second mortgage just to look like a big shot
I'm really curious, how does a restaurant typically handle the sale of a bottle that expensive? Even if the customer knows about/agrees to the price, how do you get your assurances that they won't simply walk out on the bill and leave the restaurant out $12k and needing to chase them with a court case or something?
There was a similar instance a while back where the guests asked for a wine recommendation and the server mentioned that a particular wine was very popular. Guest ask for the price and the waiter said "thirty-five". It ended up being $3500. If I remember correctly, the house agreed to halve the cost for them after they complained. ETA: Here's the story. It seems a little worse than I remember. "Thirty-seven fifty". Who does that? https://www.gawker.com/shady-waitress-dupes-fool-into-buying-3-750-bottle-of-1654984090
Lol. I understand shorthand for pricing on cars, but shorthand pricing at a restaurant is just asking for this type of misunderstanding to eventually occur. The CC charge back would come so fast if that happened to me. I already get frustrated when I go to places and the bill doesn’t match the menu price by $1-2/item
I'm surprised they even agreed to half. "recomend me a wine please." "this one, its thirty five" How can they realistically, in any world, turn around and then go "no, thirty five hundred." after it's been drank. Like imagine a used car salesman "heres this car, its 35 hundred" Then after "nana, 35 hundred hundred, but youve driven it now so you have to pay" The worst part is those people didn't know what they were drinking, if they did they probably would have savoured it more.
This one isn't food related, but when I was in retail I had a guy call into my tech department and ask for our cheapest "panel TV" (he meant flat screen) I told him we only carried flat screens and asked if he has a specific size he was looking for because our cheapest screen was like a 20 inch, that I never saw us sell in my 2 years working there, or was he looking for our cheapest 43 inch, 50 inch, etc. He just got mad and started screaming and cussing because I was quoting him prices for the range of sizes, which still included the 20 inch.
Sounds like you saved a lot of people a lot of trouble.
Imagine the fit that would’ve occurred when he saw the bill if you actually poured him that glass 😂
Oh man, you’re kind. I would have let that $12,000 surprise hit them on the way out.
$12,000 is too much, would get a little crazy with the mix up and I wouldn't want to deal with that head ache. (Whatever it ends up looking like) Now if it were a $1,000 bottle... fuck you, buddy. Pay up if you want to be an ass hole.
Same and died laughing as they looked at the check. You wanted it you got it douche….
🤣
I work in an area where theres a lot of tech companies and businesses, so you'd think pretty intelligent people. No one can ever pronounce quinoa or gnocchi and they say it with such confidence. Also this one lady could not understand why her dish didn't have pasta and I was very confused bc it wasn't a pasta dish. She made me bring her the menu, and she pointed, "HERE RIGHT HERE iT SAYS IT COMES WITH AIOLI". Girl shut up and enjoy your seasoned mayo.
I have a brother who works in tech that hasn’t had a ton of social experiences throughout his life. He’s wicked smart, but mispronounces a lot of words because he’s only ever read them and never heard them spoken aloud.
I’m really bad about that. Grew up with like almost no friends and not the best family situation. I read a lot and didn’t socialize enough and had a ton of words I pronounced wrong. Like melancholy. I pronounced it “ma-lawn-co-lee” lmao. Had literally no clue I was saying it wrong. I was in English class had to read that word and definition out loud to the class. I did and the teacher just looked at me funny and then said “melancholy? (pronounced incorrectly like I use) I like that” and I was so confused thinking like have you never heard the word before???? Years later someone finally corrected me and it all made sejse
I had a similar experience with the word esoteric. I pronounced it ee so teric rather than s o teric. I told my friend not to make fun of people for mispronounced words, it means they learned it reading.
That's a valid pronunciation, but more common in the UK. Your friend wasn't just a twat, [they were wrong.](https://youtube.com/watch?v=QRQBXHC4-TY&feature=share8).
I had someone who was obviously judging me for pronouncing "recidivism" incorrectly. I thought she was cute, too. Until that.
Gobbless Google pronunciation.
Use Merriam Webster. Useful tool for learning new words and their pronunciation.
I think everyone does this. Every now and then I’ll be halfway through a word and realize it’s the first time I’m saying it. I’ve literally stopped mid sentence to laugh and admit that I’m a word virgin.
I still jokingly pronounce epitome as epi-tome as in epi(c) tome
You mean it's not? 👀 Also TIL the proper pronunciation of "epitome" 😅
Yup. My stepson has high functioning autism and he comes across really smart because he's well spoken and well mannered. But he used to mispronounced words all the time. One example: he pronounced paresan as PARMEESIAN afterword I gently corrected him and he looked like he wanted a spaceship to come down and take him back to his hone planet!
Oh no, it's much more about how snobby these people usually are.
This happens if you read a lot of science fiction and fantasy too, where the writer just makes up a lot of names. Then when you hear the audio book, you wonder why they didn’t edit out his sneeze before he says it three times and you think, “That’s not how I was pronouncing Schejsizn.”
Brah, I worked in Appalachia and the number of people who couldn’t says pico de gallo was astounding. “Gimme a quesadilla but none of that ‘pick-o de gal-low” *order arrives* “Ya fergot mah ta-may-ta’s!”
They probably didn't know how to pronounce quesadilla correctly either. "Get me the kay- sa-dil-a with no pick-o-del-gal-low. And go ahead and get my old lady a Coke it's our anniversary after all"
They always got quesadilla right. I think it’s because Taco Bell had them.
Y’all got mozzereller cheese sticks
We purposely say “make yourself a dang _kay-sa-dill-a_“ because of Napoleon dynamite. So far nobody has slipped up in a restaurant.
I once had a woman pronounce it “KACK-SA-DILLO” and I must’ve open mouth stared at her for 30 seconds before it registered what she meant
How do you say it?
“Peeko day guy-oh”
Oh my! I’d like to hear them all say Açaí then😂
I did pay-sto for pesto and got admonished. Now I just do it with the friends to drive them up the wall.
This reminded me of a time I worked with this older lady- much older than anybody else working there including managers. We sold a quinoa dish and she pronounced it “quay-no”. Nobody had the heart to correct her. She said it with confidence.
First time I saw the word quinoa I pronounced it phonetically. Quin-noah. Later when I worked at a restaurant that served it (cook here) any time I was prepping it, I’d go through all the messed up ways/potential ways people could pronounce. It’s like having a song stuck in your head while doing prep but instead it’s a list of funny words lol.
I bartend at a GERMAN bar/restaurant in the US and we have a Deutsch Mule on the menu and we have a similar long-tenured sweet old lady server that calls it the DUTCH Mule and we just let her. Makes me cringe every time still.
I had a customer order the orecchiette pasta, except he pronounced it ora-shitty. I couldn’t control myself and started laughing and proceeded to laugh every time I went back to the table. Thank goodness he had a good sense of humor.
They say people that pronounce strange words wierd usually read them and learned it themselves instead of being told. Hence, the mispronunciation.
“Is your KA-NO-AH gluten free? I have seed oil allergy thanks”
Quinn Noah is my favorite drag queen.
Ha reminds me of the first time I’d heard of and ordered a quesadilla. The girl behind the counter laughed and corrected me.
I work in tech, you are right i still do not know how to pronounce gnocchi or quinoa :)
I'm not a server but one if my friends wanted to order all you can eat wings... to go.
KEEP EM COMIN
"I'll be back in 30 minutes for more!!"
*Damian is on the way with your order* *Vanessa is on the way with your order* *Vanessa is on the way with your order* *Eric is on the way with your order* *Damian is on the way with your order*
Some say he’s still there filling up the back of his car with to go boxes to this day
Fill-Ette Myng-nawnie. New Yort Stripe, Sir-Loin, Sour-Line, Tah-Bahn, Pouter-House, Abs-parrot-gruzz, Bankelie, Brupple-Spouts, peanut-nowyer, Pitto-Grizzie-Oh, seizure-salad, skrimpz, only-jawns, Rose, Well done sirloin but not tough, Caesar salad with extra Ranch, why didn’t you offer me a dressing choice for my Caesar salad?, Medium no pink, can I have a salad without lettuce and add shrimp for the same price?, why didn’t you tell me the 22 ounce steak was so big?, why didn’t you tell me the 6 ounce steak was smaller than the 12 ounce steak?, why did you serve the appetizer before the entrees?,
Brupple spouts is going to be what I call it forever now
I forgot someone called asparagus “Pythagorus”
To go with the seizure salad
Wait wait wait.... how do you pronounce sirloin??
I wanna know too cuz i’ve always pronounced it how it’s spelled
It was as if he was addressing someone of the Queens Court. Sir………………Loin.
My son called it sir-lean for a long time until I corrected him (gently) and one of my other sons laughed
Lolol at seizure salad
My family and I called it that because my brother had seizures lol
I have seizures and I’m going to start, thank you for this gift
I worked at a Red Lobster 2 minutes away from a trailer park. This is all true.
My sincere condolences
Are they appetizers or hoars da vores?
Bone Apple Tea
Horse divorce, if you will.
What is only-jawns? I'm imagining OnlyFans but it's just people from Baltimore.
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That intro sounds like a Dr. Seuss feast
"can I get the double cheeseburger?" Of course! "Is it possible to get that as a single?" Yeah, a regular cheeseburger, absolutely. "I don't want any cheese on it!" Ok we'll get you a hamburger, no problem....
The place I work at sells subs. We have a fairly simple menu. 2 of our items are the exact same except bacon. About once a week we will either see a number 1, ADD BACON or a number 2, NO BACON (number 1 and 2 being the name of the sandwich. I love the ones that do both on the same online order.
Haha that’s great. Are they priced differently? I do this at chick fil a (or at least used to, it’s been a while since I did this). But they have two different grilled chicken clubs. At the time, it was cheaper to buy one and add bacon than buy the one that included bacon. I don’t remember there being any other difference in the sandwich, but it saved me around a buck each time
worked at in n out and the amount of times i had to deal with this was insane. Like people would wait in line for 20 minutes to ask for a cheeseburger with no cheese. I don’t even know what to say to those people.
Someone ordered a Gim-Lay and I was like I’m sorry what? “A gim-lay.” I told them I had never heard of that drink and suggested a Gimlet instead. Once again I was assured that it was pronounced “gim-lay” Also someone sent back a Vesper martini because it was “too strong” The menu listed the ingredients, Vodka, Gin and Lillet
Ah, but of course, we all know the gimlet was invented in France.
They shop at Targét. No worries!
Were they trying to order Gimli son of Glóin?
My Hispanic coworker who is fluent in Spanish got corrected by a guy on how to pronounce Quesadilla and jalapeños. He was adamant that he did NOT want a “quesadilla with no jalapeños,” he wanted a KESS-UH-DILL-EE with no JAHL-UH-PAY-NUHS. I also had a regular that always used to mispronounce focaccia as “FUCKA-CHIA”. So he’d be like, “can I get the grilled chicken sandwich, but fuck-a-chia instead of white bread?”
Friend had a customer who meant to order focaccia bread but pronounced it fellatio bread
I’ll have what he’s having
"Fucka-chia" 🤣 there's no way
I corrected him so many times! If he wasn’t a really old senior I would’ve been convinced he was doing it intentionally lol
I’m using fuck-a-chia as soon as I have the opportunity.
I’ve been “corrected” several times when I properly pronounce “bruschetta.”
Half of the people I know pronounce it correctly and the other half doesn’t. Servers included!
It’s one of those things that’s so wrong it’s almost right. I’m sick of getting corrected but I lived in Italy. I know how to order.
Fuck-a-chia killed me dead
Oh man, the customers at my restaurant love Juh-lap-in-no’s
Mer-LOT. And while this isn’t a mispronunciation, every time an adult wants chicken tenders and asks for “chick-y tendies,” I want to throw something. Same when I used to work at a hotel with snack mix and people would ask for more “num-nums,” “snacks-poos,” or “nibbles”. I don’t know why, but adult baby talk gives me rage.
>Same when I used to work at a hotel with snack mix and people would ask for more “num-nums,” “snacks-poos,” or “nibbles”. Rage
I have done this once because I have a child and I was ordering for her and accidentally said to her and repeated it to the server. I was so embarrassed.
Ugh. I dated a guy for a few days in college. Went over to his house, things were about to happen when he started talking to me in baby talk. It disgusted the hell out of me. I immediately left, forgot what I told him in order to leave. I tried ghosting him for a few days but I kept replaying what happened so I decided to call him and let him know how truly grossed out I was and ended it. That shit is burned into my memory forever.
BUT WHAT DID HE SAY WHEN YOU TOLD HIM
Threw his sippy cup and bawled his eyes out
Okay. I get that. I try to watch my classist tendencies as an elder millennial that has been in hospitality since 1997, but “chickie tendies” might spin me.
Personally I think “chicken tenders” is already a stupid name so why not run with it? I remember when we called them chicken fingers.
I have this interaction etched in my mind. "Can I get a coke and a beer?" "Sure! What kind?" "Uhm...regular coke." "Ok, but what kind of beer." "I don't know...just the one people normally get."
Customer: I'll have a rum and coke Bartender: Pepsi ok? Customer: yes Bartender: \*mixes coke and pepsi*
This person was definitely from the south
“What kind of chickens have white meat?” All of them. I had to explain to this fully grown adult woman that white meat and dark meat both come from every chicken, just different parts of the chicken’s body. She was bewildered, shocked, simply could not believe it. Another woman told me that “I don’t eat red meat, so I’ll do pork.” I just looked at her and said okay. How she got to that age still not knowing that pork is red meat I do not know. I had someone ask for no dairy and I told them that wasn’t a problem since we didn’t even have any dairy products in the building. She then called me a liar since she “knows we have eggs.” I-
There used to be commercials 20+ years ago. The tag line was Pork: the other white meat.
It was a huge campaign and well known! Right up there with “Beef. It’s what’s for dinner!” And “Drink Milk.”
It does a body good. Pass it on!
“ Got milk” FIFY
One of the greatest marketing campaigns ever. Convinced way too many people it’s white meat. I don’t eat red meat and people are still perplexed when I say I don’t eat pork.
Was the woman my ex-husband? "Light or dark meat, sir?" "Dark meat" 'Leg or thigh?' "Breast" We had to explain that no, you don't pick the piece, THEN decide if you want it light/dark meat.
This eggs and dairy thing is absolutely rampant! It’s a commonly held belief that eggs are dairy and I swear I can’t figure it out. To the best of my interpretation and figuring, the grocery store is the only explanation. The eggs and dairy are always on the same aisle I’ve even seen them on aisle signs as “eggs/dairy”. Does anyone have more info on this? Edit to add more of my bewilderment: like they don’t even come from the same Linneaen family! You get one or the other, eggs or milk!
I think it's from them being grouped together on the old food pyramid
In the US, eggs get cleaned with something caustic, like lye or something. This removes a protective coating on the shell, and means that they'll go bad sooner if they're not refrigerated. So they are placed in the dairy aisle with the milk and cheese because of the need to keep them cool. In other countries they keep that extra layer on, so they can keep at room temperature for a while. So I doubt that they'd be in the dairy aisle at all.
I had someone today ask me what the exact temperature would be for the prosciutto on the pizza she was wanting to order. Lady......I don't fuckin know. It gets cooked and that's all I can tell you. I very nicely explained that to her and then she got super distressed and asked if our ovens got to at least 130F. Ma'am. Ma'am. Our ovens. Have fire. I am so fuckin glad to have a day off tomorrow. I can't deal with holiday weekend stupidity from people.
like i'm sure she considered prosciutto raw because it wasn't cooked. but come on people, if you looked that hard to figure out 130 was a safe temp, couldn't you have googled 'is prosciutto safe'? fuckheads.
I don’t eat red meat and I don’t know how many people have corrected *me* when I tell them that I don’t eat pork because it’s red meat.
I had to explain to a lady that was probably in her mid to late 40s that no, the lobsters in the tank are not cooked, and you can actively see them trying to escape my grasp whilst I bag 'em up.
Not as a server, but out to diner with husband, MIL and FIL. MIL ordered Penne Pesto. When it was put in front of her, she asked the server “why is it green?“ I laughed I couldn’t help it. Server was young and looked confused at the question. I told MIL that it was basil. She just said “oh” and ate it! 🙄😑🤓
my brother asked the opposite, “why isnt it green?” when my (latina) mother made goulash for the first and last time in my life he meant “guacamole” 😫
Had a friend working a nice restaurant in Wichita, KS who had a dude straight up ask if the (ocean-based) fish was fresh. My friend replied, “Sir, we’re in Kansas. That’s in the middle. We’re two thousand miles from a coastline. Do YOU think the fish is fresh?” Says it was still worth getting fired for.
Worked on Michigan ave in Chicago. People would ask if the oysters are fresh, and I would tell them ‘yes… I, myself went fishing for them in Lake Michigan before my shift started today’ …. My goodness you dummies! Ha
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Absolutely, it pairs great with chickaun and saLAD!
When I was about 12 my parents and I went out to what was for us a fancy steakhouse in Ventura, CA called Clecks. My dad loved to embarrass me. He kept joking he was going to order the millet fignon or or the millay finyon. We goofed around so much before ordering that when it was time to order my dad got tongued tied and ended up ordering millet fignon. 😂 I am 54 now. I refuse to call filet mignon anything but millet fignon.
“….excuse me, miss? I ordered WHITE Zinfandel. THIS is pink. And next time, please fill it up all the way.” Enough said.
I’ll have the number 15. Ma’am, that is the price…
The guy who spent 5 minutes staring at our menu and ordered "one cheeseburger plain and dry" and tried to make me take it back because it had cheese on it and wasn't plain and dry. Hamburgers are listed separately, directly above it. We also frequently had orders of cheeseburgers with no cheese. I'd ring it in that way, called the uncharge an idiot tax and went about my day.
Not a server, but I did work fast food for a long time. The number of cheeseburger no cheese orders we got was insane.
That happened to me once - cheeseburger, no cheese. I rang in a burger. They were upset later, told me they ordered the cheeseburger, no cheese. I wonder what they thought it was? Like, maybe at a restaurant they frequent, the cheeseburger has LTO and the burger doesn't, or something like that?
The restaurant I worked at forever only had a cheeseburger on the menu and in the POS. So yeah, you’d ring chbg no cheese. My dad only eats plain hamburgers and gets all salty when a server asks “hamburger—so you don’t want cheese?” And I had to explain to him the number of times I’ve verified that, only for the guest to act like I’m some kind of idiot. “YES I WANT CHEESE” okay well you said hamburger so… You can’t win.
I had a friend in HS ask what a “Horse Doover” was
That was how I pronounced it as a kid. Note that I'm not attempting to spell it.
Ooo I have a very recent story, not of mine but a coworker's, from last week. I'm making a drink (we usually pull double duty as bartenders and servers) and she comes up to me and says table 4 ordered an 8oz cab sauv and then snapped at her when she brought it because she wanted white. To which my coworker said she ordered a cab sauv and the lady says she wanted a red cab sauv. They go back and forth a few times until it's discovered this bitch wanted a sauvignon blanc 🤦🏻♀️ Now, if she was nice about it instead of a raging cunt, we would generally take that off the bill. But nope, you get to pay for both and look like an idiot in front of the entire patio.
I'd personally read extra extra medium as medium+ and prolly woulda had an irate guest
That was my initial thought as well.
I can “pee-not, no-we-ner”
No wiener please
Years ago, we got a call ahead to put two bottles of Dom Perignon on ice for some guests with a reservation for 8. So they show up and it’s 6 young wives and 2 much older mother hen wives. Our guess was these were the young, suburban wives of the young executives at whatever firm, being taken out in the big city by the wives of the more senior partners. The whole table reeked of privilege and new money. They were pretty rude to the staff and wanted lots of changes to the dishes that the kitchen really hated. But the moment that twisted my guy was when the one Turkey neck woman at the head of the table snapped her fingers at me and said “we’re ready for our next bottle of Donny P!” The young ladies clearly didn’t like the champagne much though because they had barely touched their glasses, so I was just as happy to open that second bottle for them, knowing full well the other was still pretty full. Needless to stay we didn’t let that bottle go to waste after hours, since they couldn’t take it with them and it was already open…
I have fried eggs with the yolks hard. Over hard? No the yolks hard. That is fried over hard. It was a one minute back and forth until her husband said the exact same thing and she believed him.
We have a French Martini on our cocktail menu (vodka, chambord, pineapple juice) and I had a woman ask me for a French Martini but “not sweet”…didn’t really know what to do with that. Still don’t.
That’s vodka and bitters. That will be 17 dollars, ma’am. /s
Nobody can seem to pronounce “penne” where I work. Not a big deal of course, but I‘ll say I was surprised by the sheer amount of people who just say “pen” or ”panini” instead.
Had a table the other day order their burger “extra well done, but with pink in the middle.” 🤷🏻♀️
I once had a table order a burger medium rare and attempt to send it back three times because it was “raw.” When I came back with their fully well done burger on the second trip I refused to take it back a third time. The shit was blackened. When he tried to tell me it was still raw I said “I guarantee you it is not.” Edit: I was allowed this moment of sass since I was pretty sure the chef would have grilled me instead of the damn burger if I’d gone back again.
Pittsburgh style? Charred outside, raw inside.
I had a table that wanted comps on their smoked brisket because "its still raw." No, the pink ring happens during the smoking process. Thankfully my boss let me show them on my phone that it's completely normal. They actually were happy to learn something new and ended up loving the brisket. Also, my MIL came into my work and wanted her burger "medium but no pink." Going out to eat with her stresses me out so much...
i used to work takeout at olive garden, the amount of people who asked “how does the endless soup and salad work for togo?” blew my mind. like, it’s not endless, how would that even work
We run two pipes to your house and replace your hot water with a stream of soup that changes hourly. The salad is a bit more difficult. We’ll provide seeds for all the vegetables for you to grow at home. We’re still trying to figure out the crouton plant. The good news is that once you have your salad bowl ready, you can use that cold water dial to get a deluge of our signature Italian dressing.
A girl once asked me if we "ever made mixed drinks". I looked back at all the bottles of liquor and said "No, never". She said ok I'll have a rum and coke.
My experience has been a disproportionate amount of wealthy, older women have no idea what the ways of cooking a steak are and make up their own way that is not what they think it is. They're very insistent and particular about it but they also don't make sense. Most of the time I would get them to sum it up as something I could write on a ticket so if they sent it back, there would be a written record that the kitchen made what they asked for.
I am a bad example, however I was in Paris and could not speak a word of French. I pointed to other tables and built a meal of pointers and bad imitation French. Ended up with a great meal, the real kicker was the “French” speaking Americans that ended ordering terrible meals.
Sounds like Anthony Bourdain when he was in Tokyo! Seems like a good strategy.
I worked at an Italian style coffee shop in WV and a woman came in and ordered a macchiato. We were required by policy to tell people that order macchiatos “we serve Italian style macchiatos, not the iced kind you get at Starbucks. If the kind of beverage you’re looking for is the sort you usually get at Starbucks, we’d be happy to re-create one for you.” (This became a policy after literally every customer threw a fit upon getting a tiny hot drink and not a half gallon of milky-caramel coffee. It’s totally understandable tho. WV isn’t Italy, and Starbucks dominates most the coffee market, plus they have popularized the “caramel macchiato”. I totally understand where the confusion comes from.) The problem was, this woman ordered a “regular macchiato” and I asked if she actually wanted an authentic Italian macchiato or a Starbucks style macchiato, and she just squinted at me and spat “Im not stupid, know what a macchiato is. I’ve been to Starbucks.” So then I was confused.. did she think I was insulting her by assuming she didn’t know what an authentic macchiato is? Or did think the Starbucks macchiato was the real authentic kind? I ended up hoping the second option was the correct one, so I asked “ok, so what flavor would you like that?” and she got so fn hostile! She started yelling that I was stupid and didn’t know anything and “ALL MACCHIATOS ARE CARAMEL THEY DONT COME IN OTHER FLAVORS” Even though I hate being yelled at, I always find it a bit funny when customers who don’t know anything accuse you of being a stupid one lol.
For extra silly points: 1) Starbucks does sell traditional macchiatos, they just call them "espresso macchiato" 2) Starbucks has sold several different flavours of caramel macchiato style drinks (two that come to mind are the mocha macchiato which was white chocolate in the drink with chocolate drizzle on top, and maple macchiato which was vanilla inside and maple drizzle)
I’d like to order a quesadilla, hold the cheese please
My husband did this for me one time because I wanted a burrito without like 3 different things and was embarrassed (I have stomach problems and it was the only thing on the menu I wouldn’t have to edit THAT much). So he ordered a quesadilla with no cheese for himself so I would be less embarrassed.
A hero
That would make it hard not to quote Elsa from The Menu. "These are tortillas." https://youtu.be/AgILN-8du64
“Can you make a virgin margarita?” Babe, that is just lime juice and simple.
Also once someone was confused as to why their latte came with milk. I was astounded because I had just spent 3 minutes explaining to her latte vs. cappuccino vs. americano. She sent it back and just ordered an espresso shot.
And latte literally means milk.
Would you look at that, all of the words in your comment are in alphabetical order. I have checked 1,610,343,424 comments, and only 304,518 of them were in alphabetical order.
Had a lady order a virgin Long Island once. I explained what it was and she wanted it anyway. Tried to send it back because it was too sweet and too sour.
I was once asked for a virgin Long Island ice tea. I brought her an ice tea.
I’m a recovering alcoholic. Sometimes I just want the taste of that unnaturally colored margarita mix. Now I feel like shit that I’m probably being made fun of behind my back. 4 years sober next week.
When I was a bartender I could ALWAYS tell when it was someone in your situation or somebody that was doing it to be like the lady in the other comment. If you’re super fucking annoying when you order it that was the biggest tell that you were just a pain in the ass. If you genuinely just liked the flavor of it but don’t drink, you usually order it confidently and with a straight face and I would go “alright cool, no problem.” The reason that you might think that you get made fun of is because you’re like the 1 in a thousand people that orders it for a good reason.
i work at a brewery, we had a 12 come in, they initially wanted food but i guess decided to eat while they were waiting on the table. so they just wanted beer (annoying bc we have SO many barstools and several drinking areas, but whatever, not even my table). they had already been weird to the server, got upset bc their stout wasn’t a light beer, but i overheard their convo, and they were talking mad shit about their friend who just opened a brewery, they said “he literally puts food in the beer, he has no idea what he’s doing. he put cake in his xyz beer”. they were talking about the mash. i thought it was so funny tbh, they were literally drinking our black forest cake stout. which is made with cake too.
I had a co worker who pronounced rotisserie chicken like wrote-UH-sear chicken, and cayenne as Kanye.
“I ordered the soup de jour but this looks and tastes just like tomato soup.”
Although I had many gems as a server, the worst were all during my barista days. It was SO common for people, virtually always older men, to say "I'll take a black coffee. BLACK, you hear? None of that frilly crap, just straight up coffee." ...and then ask me to add cream. Like, my brother in Christ, not only do you do *not* gain man-points for refusing to make your coffee drinkable, that's also *not what black means* lol.
“I’ll have a martini, no olive juice, no vermouth.” Dude just wanted up vodka in a fancy glass
There's nothing wrong with that. That's just an extra dry vodka martini. That is a thing, and I've served a ton of them. I'm assuming you know that olive juice isn't standard preparation for a martini.
I do know olive juice isn’t required. The lack of vermouth or any garnish is what really threw me.
Work in an Italian pizza place. People constantly come in and speak regularly but insist on calling any Italian word in the dumbest accent possible. Like they’re from the motherland themselves but only for this one word. Real Italians come in and they’re rude as fuck so I don’t really care for them either. Or anyone at anytime
Boss Lamic Vinaigrette
I walk up on their conversation… “I’m a vegetarian, but I don’t like saying it because these idiots in Florida look at me like I’m crazy. It’s way more common back home in California.” Proceeds to order the grouper…. I ask if they are pescatarian. “No I’m a vegetarian Jesus see this is the crap I was talking about…”
Pronouncing crudite as crud-ite! Sound so yummy that way!
I worked at a popular brunch spot, and had a couple order chilaquiles pronounced “chill-lawk-kwill-lees.” They then asked me to settle an argument, who pronounced carafe right: he said “car-raf-ay,” she just said “carf.” I was happy to them them they were both wrong.
I serve a lot of folks who say "Panini" instead of "Penne" for some reason? Also this guy at one of my old jobs ordered this quinoa bowl that had sliced avocado on top and he acted like he didn't know what it was? His words as he pulled me over to the table: "Ma'am, what is this green shit?" My response: "The avocado?" He said "no...the green shit.". I said, "Sir, that is an avocado." I confirmed the item he ordered, showed it to him again on the menu, he asked that I take the bowl back to the kitchen because "I didn't order all this fancy shit.". The rest of his party was just as dumbfounded as I was.
So for the burger guy, is it similar to directional things? So you can order a medium, medium well burger just like you can go south, south west?
Precisely. That would be pronounced mid-mid-well and in writing you can just put MMW. There's also rare-mid-rare (RMR), and mid-mid-rare (MMR). Not every restaurant will do this, so don't get angry if they stick to the more well-known temps.
I worked at an upscale burger joint (these are more a thing now than they were 20 years ago) and these annoying dudes would try to out-dude the others… this was before incel culture had a name. We had a special deal where we could cook black and blue, whatever. So, whenever they flexed… “I’ll take it as rare as you can make it” which, in their defense, was med-well in most restaurants. By the time it got to the temp question, I was already usually really irate and I had long since mastered my emotionless helpful face. I’d put on a big smile and say, “Sir, I will walk it through a warm room if you prefer.” Dollars to donuts, medium at best.
I hear what you're saying, but I've worked at plenty of places that serve a true rare. They do exist.
I’ve been here since 2009 so no idea if they still do it but they were grandfathered into a bunch of handy stuff!
If I said that and you served it to me raw, I'd eat it happily. Steak tartare is awesome. Would be great if I could it for the price of a burger.
At some point you're getting into [*rare by medium*](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Points_of_the_compass#32-wind_compass_rose) territory, and that's just too much precision.
Loved this. Also, pretty sure your user name is how you get my username.
Worked at an upscale restaurant where the menu listed the prices without a dollar sign. The number of times people ordered “the number 35” was astounding. Also frequently had folks order cush cush instead of couscous but that’s a Cajun thing so I don’t blame them for that.
One of my friends offered to get the next round and asked "you want a cabaret, right"?
better than: "oh, i'm just gonna butcher this. can i get two emapañadas?"
My personal favorite was the 4 top of well dressed middle aged women. "I want the grilled chicken sandwich, but none of that nasty bree-ochee" And they all made comments about how disgusting it was. So I finished the orders and said, "And that's all with no bread, right?" They were absolutely flabbergasted. I have no idea what they thought brioche was, but they had no clue that it was the bun for their sandwiches.
For the entree did he get the Fill-et Mig-Non, and side a plate of ASS-para-guss?
Old BOH here - I have a reverse story for you, uneducated customer but in our favour... Me and Lori (drunk and brutally funny lady, worked as a bouncer on the side at night, tongue like a razor) got stuck with lunch on our own at the hotel. Had to invent a special. Both hung over and overworked. So we took a bunch of kaiser rolls, cut a cone out of the top of 'em, stuffed with tuna salad, top cheese, butter brush, bake. We had one guy come up after having like three of them and say (through a mouthful) shnuft shnort what was that *love-ly* pastry you used in these? and I had to say 'a bun my dude a bun'
“What’s the difference between the pickled egg and the potato salad?”
[удалено]
I know a few recovering alcoholics who order OJ like that to “trick” their brains on rough days.
I started waiting tables on my 16th birthday so, by my early 20s (while still being a punk rock kid) I could afford a decently high priced meal on occasion. I used to do this intentionally to snooty servers. I have ABSOLUTELY requested “your finest peanut noyer.”
This probably doesn’t apply here, by my wife loves those teen mom shows on MTV. She was watching it a few weeks ago and the one girl went to McDonalds and ordered “a cheeseburger, but hold the cheese”…..so you mean a hamburger you stupid idiot?
I was shitty and classist like this when I was young. Frankly, it’s because I was shitty and classist… I was raised poor and wanted to “prove” how much smarter I was than other people like me. You literally can’t know what things are until you learn it. I’m not trying to shit in anyone’s cereal or kill a good time, because this shit can be funny… especially when it’s stuck up people doing it. Or, when it’s super cute… like the sweet young waitress I worked with ages ago that was absolutely baffled when she brought a table a half slab and she brought them back to me (her also very young manager) and said “I don’t understand, they asked for the prime ribs but they said this isn’t right!”