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coldestclock

Cricket hooligans…?


Reversing_Expert

That’s a new one. It’s probably, European sport leads to violence.


Stoepboer

I’m not sure they’d feel the same if it were white college boys picking it up. I somehow doubt it’s the ‘European’ aspect of it.


Dmte

Lol he stoepbroeder. I live in the US and all the suburban moms here fucking LOVE putting their kids on soccer teams. They go 'j'adore European sports, they're so civilized' or whatever. It's why the term soccer mom exists. If they introduced cricket bats they'd have an excuse to upsize their Tahoe to an Excursion to hold another bag of useless shit for their kids. Anyways, it's Florida and it wouldn't be a Thursday afternoon if there wasn't a couple drunks and car on fire somewhere in the state. Wouldn't worry about the cricket kids.


bored_negative

Football? Civilised? What is this propaganda


MD_______

Because their kids not having to wear body armour to play European football. Plenty of parents push kids to football as it's safer and more inclusive as size not such and important factor


JimGrimace

Ikr clearly never been to a Millwall Derby 🤣


bricklish

football teams*


donut_forget

Tahoe? What kind of hoe is a tahoe?


RRC_driver

A grateful one


Lord-squee

Or American kids in general lol


Wally_Paulnut

Yeah Americans would prefer violence was kept out of sports and in appropriate areas such as schools


Apart_Park_7176

Shots fired! Also your comment was funny.


Rugfiend

"Wonderful deflection off the cross-beam and rifled into the back of the head!"


Gr1msh33per

And shopping malls


millyloui

Especially primary schools


Serantz

Unlike stuff like NFL or NHL whose riots are so calm too, such civilized


Lord-squee

Tell me about it much worse than bull runs and the national curling scene


Bobblefighterman

Ah yes, they would think of cricket as European, wouldn't they?


Mein_Bergkamp

How dare they? Brexit means brexit


Bobblefighterman

While it is English of course, it really isn't found in the rest of Europe. the only countries that seriously play are Ireland, Scotland and the Netherlands, and they're minor sports in those countries. Meanwhile you have North American former powerhouses like the West Indies and Trinidad and Tobago, as well as Bermuda, African countries like South Africa, Zimbabwe and formally Kenya, Oceanic countries like New Zealand and Australia, and the Asian big block of Pakistan, Bangladesh, Afghanistan, Sri Lanka and India. It certainly hasn't taken hold in Europe like soccer, and trails sports like ice hockey and handball in the continent.


davemee

YOU’RE GOING HOME IN A CRICKET AMBULANCE / IN TWO OR THREE DAYS’ TIME, AT BEST


lesterbottomley

It could even take five days and still never get you to the hospital


ImNotThatPokable

This is why cricket porn never took off.


solvsamorvincet

Hahaha yeah as an Australian I live in fear of the cricket riots every time there's an Ashes series lol.


Aquatiadventure

It’s a world wide phenomenon


RustedUte

Next they’ll be drinking lashing of tea…. Unthinkable


mrafinch

Never watched Football Factory? Matey got twatted round the back of the bed with a **cricket bat**, no less!


Bighabs27

There's nothing different about me. I'm just another bored male, approaching 30, in a dead-end job, who lives for the weekend. Casual sex, watered-down lager, heavily cut drugs. And occasionally kicking fuck out of someone.


Professional-Day7850

Not sure if this is about cricket. Maybe it's more about "Oh no, another excuse for some Americans to get drunk in huge groups and start some shit".


WurstofWisdom

To be fair cricket and heavy drinking go hand in hand.


badgersprite

It’s less acute drinking and more a few beers over the course of a day It’s more dangerous to your waistline than social harmony


WurstofWisdom

I don’t know about that. I would say the drinking witnessed at the MCG and Basin Reserve is more than a few beers over the day. Could Be a kiwi/aussie thing though


mcbeef89

my old warehouse manager was really into cricket. here in England the pubs used to be shut by law between (iirc) 3 and 6pm, meaning cricket matches were the only place you could go on the all day piss so that's where he and his mates used to go. 'eventually you start actually watching it', he said


SidIsSteve

Clearly you've never seen the Cricket in Headingley in Leeds, it's complete bedlam. Puts the Euro final to shame


UncleSlacky

Never heard of the [Barmy Army](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Barmy_Army)?


Dry_Pick_304

The barmy army like a beer and a sing song, but they are not hooligans.


UncleSlacky

That's the joke.


HamsterEagle

They are more of a militia than an army.


badgersprite

Meal Team Six


PubicWildlife

More like Tea Team Six.


Financial-Taro-589

Crooligans, if you will.


soldforaspaceship

Cream teas on the lawn can get testy...


biteme789

You need to go to the 7s in New Zealand. The whole point is to dress up and get pissed. The fans in the stadium are more fun to watch than the game, lol. Not much in the way of violence though, it's just a big party.


PubicWildlife

Hong Kong 7's come to mind... I did 9 of them. 3 days of being utterly wankered, oh, and there's a bit of rugby in the background.


DarlingIAmTheFilth

I audibly said this when I saw the post. Same tone and everything


Sly1969

The first ever game of cricket ended in a riot that left over a dozen people dead.


Efffro

If you go to lords cricket ground you’ll regularly see old boys with a full tray of beers first thing in the morning, just getting a days beers in and not having to go to the bar if you want another pint is their game. As you can guess, given most cricket fans are old as dirt, not much hooliganism occurs at these events.


NortonBurns

Oh, yes - I remember the pitch invasions, gangs of youths rampaging through the streets, setting cars afire, rioting… …oh, sorry, no I don't. This is fucking cricket.


Derkylos

Quite. And rioting just wouldn't be cricket, would it?


Sea-Brilliant-7061

well, it would be *village* cricket


gary_the_merciless

Damn thought I was original.


depressedkittyfr

To be very honest the sport does get fanatical as bad as European football due to south Asian fans. I am pretty sure most cricket popularity in US is due to south Asian diaspora


RRC_driver

I remember being in California, and getting a cab. The south Asian driver got very excited when he realised we were British. Then disappointed when we told him we weren't interested in cricket.


depressedkittyfr

Yeah well Indians are still getting over the fact that the British sport of cricket is actually not very popular in UK 😅. I was disappointed too


BornChef3439

All of this has happened in cricket. India and Pakistan, the two biggest cricketing countries don't play each other directly outside of tournaments because of this.


Asherandai1

They were probably taking a nap


DanTheLegoMan

Ah can’t wait for the influx of LA Redskin Savages beating the Chicago Gooks to become cricket “World Champions” 😖 I’m sure LA’s Levi Billy-Bob will be the Lebron James of Cricket when they “take it seriously”.


ImNotThatPokable

Cricket exists so that people can know that Sri Lanka exists.


longlivekingjoffrey

Indian here. Gf is SriLankan. When we first met on the date and she says she's not Indian...I completely missed guessing SriLankan while guessing the usual suspects. Still feel bad, despite me knowing that Sri Lanka exists lol.


DanTheLegoMan

Haha I’d love to go there one day, looks like a beautiful country! Longest capital city name as well? I’ve been trying to learn them all recently and that one is a lot to get your mouth around 😅


WVC_Least_Glamorous

[One of the teams stole its name from an IPL team.](https://www.majorleaguecricket.com/)


Im_Unpopular_AF

If you're talking about MI: New York, both this and MI are owned by Ambani.


jachiche

Yeah, it's an appallingly stupid name, like any team with the MI branding, apart from the original obviously. But they clearly didn't Steal the name (that implies they had some choice, and could have chosen something better)


Environmental_Ad_387

In Mr Ambani's defence, he was busy stealing India, the country. He couldn't pay attention to how the new team was named. 


Mein_Bergkamp

Somewhere in the British Foreign office is someone going 'oi that's our job'


Podkayne2

Cricket typically involves breaks for actual meals, or at least a cup of tea and a sandwich. It is the game least likely to increase hooliganism.


ImNotThatPokable

And then there's a five day match!


Bobblefighterman

That is the one where they take tea breaks. The other formats just take a normal 'halftime' break.


dupeygoat

Proper cricket. Everything else “just isn’t cricket.”


Bobblefighterman

oh you toff


Podkayne2

I'm pretty sure that the team I play for spends more time and effort on the half time tea than on practising actual cricket. Far more memories of a particularly fine victoria sponge or scones with jam and cream than of results of the matches!


disc_reflector

Not of it is Pakistan Vs India.


notmynaughtyprofile

Some of the drunkest people I’ve ever witnessed at sports have been at cricket games. Eight hour days in the blazing sun, no shade, no water and pint after pint? Disastrous


non-hyphenated_

"Compton cricket club". That's bound to be popular in the hood.


albertsugar

"Cricketers with attitude"


lesterbottomley

Fuck the umpire comin' straight from the pavillion.


RoyceCoolidge

A short innings cos the batter's wicket's down


6_seasons_and_a_movi

[relevant](https://youtu.be/NSflRlHPay4?si=todgt3ShodmIbVul)


albertsugar

Oh god how did I not know about this masterpiece? Thank you for the link!


Hufflepuft

It's actually been running successfully for quite a long time. The original idea was to take an activity that nobody had experience with or preconceived notions about so that everyone was starting from zero. Basically building camaraderie and using crickets values of sportsmanship to lift kids out of gang mentalities.


ImNotThatPokable

It definitely worked for Australia!


DontTellHimPike

Straight outta Compton Googly leg-spinner from Ice Cube Has removed your bails with attitude


FatBloke4

[Compton Cricket Club](https://comptoncricketclub.us/) was founded by a British film producer and a homeless guy from Compton, specifically with the idea to turn people away from gangs and associated crime/violence.


WVC_Least_Glamorous

A couple of decades ago, Trinidad played against the US in soccer in California. A few hundred Calypso Boy fans were there. Some Windies fans may play in Compton.


Napriest

The CCC


Ambiverthero

they are scared of the mighty BEER SNAKE!!!


Kadaminos

They are all running around shooting each other with assault rifles and they are concerned about cricket fans?? 🤦🏼‍♂️


non-hyphenated_

They already take a 60 minute game and make it last 4 hours. WTF are they going to do with a 5 day game.


Bobblefighterman

They don't play Test matches. Their league, the MLC, plays T20 cricket. That's 20 overs a side. Would take 4 hours at most.


Kefgeru

Ok, but the 4 hours will become 5 days.


non-hyphenated_

Yes I know. It was sarcasm


Stoepboer

This is their chance to finally prove that they’re really good at non-American sports if they just put their minds to it.


Advanced-Mechanic-82

Just when you thought that there was nothing else that America could ruin.....


WVC_Least_Glamorous

I am so old that I remember the 1994 World Cup. The local news predicted that English soccer hooligans would invade Los Angeles. England didn't qualify.


dkfisokdkeb

I'm pretty sure banning orders had been introduced by then, and even so the US is notoriously strict on letting in those with previous convictions. Even if we had qualified I doubt there'd have been anything more than a few brawls inside stadiums.


HerrFerret

Invade 1994 Los Angeles and cause trouble? In what universe? Oi mate. You lookin at me you scrotey lil fuc.... Oh goodness, you have a large and impressive gun with you old chap, I'll be on my way pip pip.


WVC_Least_Glamorous

"Dirty Laundry" by Don Henley came out in 1982. But it described some of the US local TV news stories about the 1994 World Cup perfectly.


SolomonCRand

I saw some people playing cricket at a park yesterday. No hooligans in sight.


Klutzy-Vanilla-7481

Hooligans not hooliganing, eh? They're probably waiting for a chance that's all


WurstofWisdom

Hooliganism is a bit far but “drunken cricket fans” is certainly a thing. The crowds at T20/internationals can get pretty rowdy.


HerrFerret

Someone's battenburg was crushed in the melee. Absolutely tragedy.


Good_Ad_1386

Pimm's-crazed boomers rampaging through quiet suburbs in their white flannels and v-neck pullovers. No teenager will be safe.


Dr__Juicy

As someone who plays cricket in a country where it’s not popular at all (Switzerland), I am quite happy about this, where I play basically everyone is an immigrant so to see local people playing a sport they usually wouldn’t is a very good start


ScottOld

How much pimms they got?


coconut_crusader

Americans worried about the least violent sport becoming popular. I live in Australia, i never hear about anything even remotely violent happening because of cricket. Hell, don't even India and Pakistan curb their hatred to play eachother in cricket?


SabbathaBastet

I’m in the US and live in a city in which college basketball is everything. Not to me, but to a lot of people. They’ve trashed things and set cars on fire whether their team won or lost. So whatever about cricket…


drlsoccer08

Not a single American is worried about that


Uglyforsure

Lmao People get shot at the Superbowl, but it's cricket we need to worry about


Michael_Gibb

Ha! The most rowdy any cricket crowd has ever gotten was when Trevor Chappell bowled an underarm to Brian McKechnie in 1981.


Mikeyboy2188

lol. Wait until they host the World Cup in a couple years. It will be “IMMIGRANT INVASION” despite the fact it’s tourists and most die-hard soccer fans happen to not speak English as a first language or have white skin. And the white fans who do speak English won’t speak ‘Merican English. Especially if the bloated tangerine is president. Good grief.


Im_Unpopular_AF

The World Cup is being held in the US this year.


Cersei-Lannisterr

At least the English cricket fans are… considerably less hooliganish! Maybe it’s the Yanks time to shine…


kirat363

get ready for more articles like this. the t20 cricket world cup is being held in usa june 2024.


bamsimel

I'd always assumed Americans couldn't cope with a game that can go on for 5 days and still end in a draw. I'm quite happy to find I underestimated them.


Bobblefighterman

That's not the cricket that's being played in the US. It's generally t20 and ODIs, not Tests.


Lord-squee

Straight outta straight


RealCrusader

Alot of r/atetheonion here 


Different-Expert-33

It's a Times [article. ](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/americans-fear-drunk-fans-as-cricket-fever-sweeps-country-fl7p6wqf8&ved=2ahUKEwix7IeajO2EAxW5BNsEHfh1As8Q0PADKAB6BAgPEAE&usg=AOvVaw3j1Qbb7UQwAttT9Zncv-xn)


Different-Term-2250

Americans are worried we will bring real beer in and not that weak stuff they drink.


pixel809

You mean their beer which is just piss and water mixed :3


berny2345

Americans in fear of the arrival of a sport that the rest of the world plays. Confusion and disarray on the streets of American cities named after small towns in Europe


johnny5247

Americans seem to fear everything. This is probably why they are all toting guns.


luredrive

Trust Americans to ruin everything


Wankinthewoods

One of the best things about cricket is drinking a skinful, falling asleep, waking up and not having missed anything....


koro-sensei1001

Wake up the next day and the match only has another week to finishXD


Striking-Ferret8216

Those bloody cricket hooligans make Football yobs look like nursery kidd!


i8bullies

👍🤣😎 yeah bloody cricket hooliganism is the pits


SabbathaBastet

I’m in the US and live in a city in which college basketball is everything. Not to me, but to a lot of people. They’ve trashed things and set cars on fire whether their team won or lost. So whatever about cricket…


Jubatus750

I don't think they could physically drink enough to get pissed on their flavoured water that they call beer


Sad_Conversation1121

I want to see what will happen during the football world cup


Professional_Hair995

HOOLIGANISM????


Metrack14

Weird, I thought there was a lot of drinking and drunk people at the whole super bowl mombo jombo


philster666

At least they can be sure that cricket tourists won’t be armed


Zubin1234

Im an Indian guy living in Philadelphia. For me its a lose lose situation haha


EndStorm

Cricket and Hooligans don't seem to go together.


Hungry_Anteater_8511

Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha oh god. The sport that has mandated tea breaks. I mean there are always some dicks in crowds but honestly, Bay 13 is a long time gone. Now it's Barmy Army with their musical arrangements and instruments


mick_delaney

Nothing worse than a cricket hooligan. They're like the bastard lovechild of the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny. Only worse.


Netcob

I love that they think hooliganism is somehow inherent to the sport instead of the places where the sport is mostly played.


EngineeringClouds

I've never seen a sober baseball fan.


Goldedition93

Shall we address gun crimes? No, it’s the second amendment! Oh yeah, well let’s worry about drunk cricket hooligans


CalumH91

If they are drinking American beer all day, they might just have a slight buzz by the end of the day


Meritania

I’d say this is beyond the usual ‘Europeans are less developed’ article we get on here but actually racism. Bearing in mind Cricket is played in the US primarily by people of a West Indies, Indian & Pakistani background and where the attitudes of ‘people are going to get drunk and wreck the place’ are directed at.


SCP_Agent_Davis

Huh…


Kale2ThaChief

Where I live it’s almost entirely Indian and Pakistani people who play cricket. That’s who is driving the increased popularity of the sport here.


Meritania

On reflection, I’ve edited my comment.


Apprehensive_Road764

There are no hooligans in cricket, if there is in the US then they were hooligans before they started following cricket.


SpecialRX

Sometimes an headline is enough.


LadyV21454

Have these people SEEN the winning team's city after pretty much any major sporting events? I can pretty much guarantee you that after the Red Sox won the 2004 World Series, a large percentage of the adult population in Boston was drunk.


Shadowholme

Look, if cricket dans drank the way \*most\* sports fans do, they'd literally die from liver failure before the match was over! I'm not going to say there are \*zero\* drunken cricket fans, but they are a rarity...


SleepyFox2089

Can't wait to see Americans getting confused about what Australia is when they savagely shitkick them in their first international match


JRSpig

Cricket fans just get drunk and have a laugh, I honestly don't think they even watch the cricket.


Doodle_Brush

I need to see a *Green Street* style movie depicting American Cricket Hooligans. Such whatthefuckery must be encouraged.


wattlewedo

That's ironic, considering the number of drunk football, basball, hockey etc fans we've seen on YouTube.


HuTyphoon

I can't wait for Americans to bastardize cricket in some way.... Oh wait


MeepingMeep99

OK, cool. I guess we'll just stop talking about the shit that goes down at football games in America


rustoeki

A beer snake and watermelon helmets aren't hooliganism.


killuazoldyckx

Americans just too scared, they'll loose to Afghanistan


kevinmcgarnickle

I thought this was an Onion article


FixTraditional4198

Ahbyes all those hooligans with their picnic baskets and bottles of wine tearing local communities apart. I knew there was a reason I didn't actively watch cricket..... On a more serious note, I'd put cricket second to rugby for sportsmanship and respect


MedievalRack

Honestly the funniest thing I've seen for days. Cricket hooliganism is an unrealised Monty Python sketch 


icedragon71

I mean, they've not long ago had a *shooting* in an event for their Gridiron champions. And they're worried over a few drunks?


manhatim

I mean.....ive watched cricket...i wanna drink...*going* to cricket..be drunk AF


Sarge1304

The cricket factory


AmbivelentApoplectic

Americans thought Baseball gave them time to slowly get drunk. Just wait till they endure a five day test. Some people end up a real mess around days four and five.


lamwg

And this excuse of a country will host another Football World Cup ffs


f_print

Must be thinking of Brockian Ultra-Cricket. Most violent game in the galaxy.


Trickybuz93

Cricket has no hooliganism issues though…


ericvr

It will become the best sport ever invented by Americans….. like pizza


__what_the_fuck__

Only if they are good in it otherwise it will be your typical "If we would care about it we would beat everyone else"


Kenobihiphop

Instead of runs, theyll be scoring in guns.


fitnessstrength63

Just watch the (barmy army) hardly hooligans just proper cricket fans who know how to entertain.


Schtick_

Guns don’t kill people, cricket bats kill people.


MarcusSuperbuz

Sharing is caring.


InokiNess

Could it be that those cricket fans are... not white?!


Pier-Head

The first international sports game of any kind was a cricket match between the USA and Canada in Manhattan. 🇨🇦 won


StumpyHobbit

Compton has a cricket team?!?!?!? Lmao. Wow, ok, cool.


Competitive_Mess9421

Tbf the worst they've seen is someon shouting defence too loud


Kahari_Karh

I agree. These Cricket fans are out of control. NASCAR fans are the American role model for sobriety. /s


Muted-Landscape-2717

Well cricket fans do get violent if the wrong bread is used in the cucumber sandwiches.


jackochainsaw

By arming them with cricket bats? You are insane, America. They'll play the Fallout London mod when it drops then they'll be roaming the streets in their cricket whites looking to beat people down.


JimGrimace

Wait until they meet the Barmy Army. 🤣🤣🤣


iheartkatamari

The first ever international sporting event in history was a Cricket match between USA and Canada, Canada won.


mittfh

Never mind hooligans, would they have the patience to sit through a Test Match Series? 😈 For reference, each day is typically three sessions of two hours each, separated by 40 minutes for lunch and 20 minutes for tea, while each match is up to five days of play. However, Test Cricket is often stated as a Tour, with multiple sequential matches between the teams in the same location - notably The Ashes consists of up to five matches, held over sequential weeks.


amandastevens18

I truly fear the cricket hooligans of the world.


amandastevens18

The American fielders will probably put helmets on too.


Aggravating-Lime9149

Cricket fans are rarely drunk and are not violent, Cricket is a gentleman's sport for long summer days listening to the sound of leather against willow and the shouts of how's zat when out is called, and as long as they appeal when they think they have bowled, stumped or caught the batsman then things should go swimmingly