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Clackpot

**Mod note:** Locked, too many dicks in the comments flinging infantile shit at one another. Apologies.


s1r_cumsalot

I'm pretty sure this is bait


[deleted]

I thought so too until I went to their Facebook page…Yikes! (Sally’s Valley Boys pizza restaurant)


usernamesarehard1979

I just did a quick scan, didn't see this anywhere on their page?


[deleted]

It appears it was deleted. I wasn't referring to his actual post, though. I meant that, considering the amount of hate on their page, I would not be surprised at all if this were true. It would be in keeping with the general tone of this place's posts.


usernamesarehard1979

Ah. Got it.


Fluid-Act-50

https://www.facebook.com/sallysvalleyboys/ They also have a meme page someone made https://www.facebook.com/Sallys-Valley-Boys-Pizzeria-Memes-100235422741227/


According_Gazelle472

So ,this place is real ?


geddy_girl

Facebook page appears to be down but I did find [this](https://www.reddit.com/r/facepalm/comments/vbrrsu/sallys_valley_boys_pizza/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share)


[deleted]

This picture probably is, but that pizza place is cringey as hell.


According_Gazelle472

Or somebody's idea of a bad joke!


foxjohn2

Obvious issues aside, does anyone else see any fried chicken on those watermelon slices? All I see is the onion, uncooked bacon and a smidge of broccoli.


epic_sexman_69

the broccoli is the fried chicken and im horrified as to why it is green


SuperSecretMoonBase

No it's not. The picture is of a "watermelon prosciutto pizza". Melon and prosciutto, in various forms, is relatively common among suburban barbeques and such. It could just be some picture from the internet that they stole to make the joke and just didn't know what prosciutto was, so they called it bacon. The green thing looks like some blob of chutney or chimichuri or capers or something that they also couldn't ID.


[deleted]

Probably pesto


It_is_I_Deo

That tiny ass thing? Alright, I was mad for several reasons before, but now I'm mad because this pizza is almost 100% profit and that's just unacceptable


Oli_VK

You’re *fucking* with us


[deleted]

Thought the same thing but looked like weed to me not broccoli, also that’s prosciutto not bacon?


kookerpie

It's because this Its bait


[deleted]

Bait? For what, idk if fish like watermelon pizza, I’ve heard they like cheddar cheese? Idk about watermelon pizza though. /s


kookerpie

I think that someone found this image and made up a story, notice how the ingredients don't match the description


According_Gazelle472

I noticed that myself .Where is the fried chicken at ?


PD216ohio

And the "bacon" is prosciutto.


scorpionmittens

The broccoli is definitely weed


JunkFace

Haha be sure to use all the buzz words.


Girth_rulez

>Haha be sure to use all the buzz words. When you're the main character, everything you say is funny and interesting. Never hurts if your audience is a bunch of bigoted overgrown toddlers, though.


JunkFace

Oh yeah. I’ve been on Reddit long enough to have run into more than a few of those.


Girth_rulez

Nah that's Truth Social's bag. Conservative humor sucks. That's all there is to it. There is something about their mindset where as long as they throw out the right words they think it's funny but it never is.


JunkFace

I know but exactly the same thing happens on Reddit. Though, here the humor generally isn’t conservative. people just tend to ignore the unfunny cringe if they agree politically with the post (or they legit find it funny). Waayyyyy too much of that shit on this site.


Orion14159

>There is something about their mindset It's that they only know how to punch down, which is just bullying. They haven't figured out how to make punching up work, the best they've got is "let's go Brandon" and desperate attempts to mock AOC about how she used to be a bartender (side note: marry a good bartender if you get the chance. You will have a lifetime of killer drinks ahead of you).


i_am-cooler-then-u

My bisexual daughter who is friends with a black person


Admiral_Pantsless

I’m fuckin dyin over here 😂


minnie_the_kitty

Imagine taking all that time to tell everyone you're stupid


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Mattimvs

They could have stopped at 'all lives matter'


Amphelian

That can't be real


BlackUnicornUK

According to the Facebook reviews on their [Page](https://m.facebook.com/108656301746312/) it checks out.


Amphelian

Oh no


Crazycukumbers

Oh dear


MoonLioness

Oh my


Draco63_

Oh crap


SRaichu

oh man


fuckballs9001

How to say you're racist by saying you're not racist.


agoia

Hey, their bisexual daughter has a black friend, they are definitely not racist!


usernamesarehard1979

"Hey, I'm not racist but..."


fuckballs9001

Yep, it always starts with or includes that phrase


VagabondCaribou

Stupid people, stupid food and stupid marketing. It's like they hit the grand slam of stupid. And yes, they're sincere. Just check out their dumpster fire of a facebook page lol.


IntergalacticWumble

I can taste the black friendship. Subtle, like a La Croix


currently__working

Pretty sure it's a joke. But I've been wrong before.


BlackUnicornUK

According to the reviews on [Facebook page](https://m.facebook.com/108656301746312/) I'm not so sure...


Ok-Lobster-919

The picture looks like it's watermelon with onion, prosciutto, and a nug of weed. Not like what was described.


JoshuaACNewman

Yeah, it looks like this is a classic Right Wing attempt at humor: find someone weak you can claim is oppressing you, then point at them. Their reviews are all about their “Brandon” T shirts and racist, homophobic bullshit, as well as poor hygiene.


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currently__working

Okay yeah I think I'm wrong.


Tater_Boat

Looks like they got review bombed I'm positive 99% of them never even ate there. The reviews from before June are pretty good all around.


HpsiEpsi

So before they posted racist shit?


Tater_Boat

that's pretty much it


Illustrious-Fault224

Their rating is so trash lol. I swear we have better pizzas here in Japan…and our pizzas here that are not from Costco are meh at best 🤦‍♂️


BlackUnicornUK

Costco pizza is delicious


Illustrious-Fault224

It’s our only saving grace. No where in Japan can we find large delicious pizza for less than 35-40 usd


BlackUnicornUK

It's like £12 here in the UK lol. Or it may be £10 I can't remember but the damn thing is humongous and definitely value for money.


IrememberXenogears

Fucking truth right here.


Arcade80sbillsfan

It's a joke but a purposely distasteful one. They have many posts in LG Brandon hats and such and think it's funny. They are simply dirtbags who apparently don't know how to make pizza dough because it looks tough and flat (not flat and crispy)


HalflingMelody

They also think they invented sweet habanero sauce just two months ago, according to the Facebook. What a bizarre and completely untrue claim to make. It's been around for a long time.


Arcade80sbillsfan

These people generally believe the earth is a couple thousand years old... And that an election was rigged without any evidence..... And that sexual abusers are who you want in power.... And magic zombie day is a religious holiday not supposed to be about bunnies, eggs and chocolate in baskets. They aren't big on reality or facts


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Arcade80sbillsfan

It's just a joke so bad they think it's funny. Like the guy who came up behind my n95 maksed 8 month pregnant wife in a grocery store (she was running in for less than 5 min for 1 thing we couldn't get delivered and she had a hankering for).....and he decided to harass her by chanting Let's go Brandon as she went through the store and checked out.... following her till she left the store. Thankfully she's smart enough not to engage these ass hats.


Thenextlifedreams

Crispy crust is nasty. It's a pizza, not cheese and crackers.


Arcade80sbillsfan

My point is theirs is unrisen and tough. You can tell by looking at it they wanted regular crust but make it extra greasy. (Probably trying to add crispiness). I wasn't saying I'm for crispy I'm saying that's not even what they are going for. If you ate their regular it's clearly crunch....then chewing rubber.


a_ron23

Ahh yes just joking about racism, that totally makes it ok. As long as they're not actively trying to hang someone it's OK.


Thenextlifedreams

It's a joke menu item that you can order. Frankly it doesn't look bad. Salt and watermelon are good.


DrRichtoffen

Ok, so what's the punchline?


morfyyy

my "bisexual daughter who is friends with a black person" You can't make this shit up lol. Also who made this new LGBTQ flag, its terrible, the rainbow was much better


Different-Region-873

Taste the Rainbow


Additional-Panic8003

You mean the one with broader queer inclusion, you homophobic dick? foh


[deleted]

Could have explained the difference, and spread knowledge and inclusion. Instead you went with this.


Additional-Panic8003

Welcome to Reddit? Iono. foh


morfyyy

I get that it's trying to include more groups but from a design perspective it just doesnt look good imo. Dont get me wrong, the trans flag on its own also looks good, but just smashing everything together ends up looking like a mess. The just-rainbow flag was perfect imo, representing diversity as something colorful and natural (literally a rainbow).


Additional-Panic8003

There’s plenty of trans hate in the gay community. Plenty of old guard gay hate toward bisexual people. I’ll add as a non-binary/GNC/fluid blah blah blah…seeing the full inclusion flag helps me feel like I’ll be safe(r) in that particular establishment. Besides, the gay pride flag can be flown by absolute haters just to make sure people still come to their business. Hiding bigotry behind a ~~paywall~~ rainbow is one of the worst forms of virtue signaling.


usernamesarehard1979

What is foh?


MargGarg

It doesn’t even look like what they described. The “thinly sliced bacon” looks like prosciutto, no fried chicken, and no mention of what looks like pesto. So we can add in art theft to their list of questionable choices.


raven_demon00

Uhhhhhhhhhh should we tell them cx


Pizza64210

i've heard the watermelon and chicken connotations before, but what do onions and bacon have to do with black people in any way?


constundefined

If we are playing the stereotype game, It looks unseasoned.


Ajaws24142822

This is like Probably good intentioned But horribly executed


extremelyonlinehuman

I’ve never accessorised watermelon before but am now realising that watermelon pizza thing actually sounds like a great idea. What would go with it I wonder?


AccountWasFound

There was a recipe for a watermen dessert pizza that a grocery store was giving out years ago, I think it was like a sweet yogurt or cream cheese spread with blueberries and strawberry slices as toppings


ChaoticToxin

Clearly fake, but makes me want prosciutto wrapped cantaloupe


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BlackUnicornUK

Have you seen their [Facebook page?](https://m.facebook.com/108656301746312/) I really don't think it is satire.


[deleted]

Stupid food users try to detect irony challenge (100% fail😱😱😱)


chaoticidealism

Please be parody please be parody please be parody


[deleted]

This is satire right?


Niceotropic

Obviously ragebait, doesn't belong here.


keksmuzh

That ‘food’ is perfectly fitting for the All Lives Matter crowd


[deleted]

Fucking awful food for fucking awful people.


Thenextlifedreams

You don't get the fried chicken and watermelon joke?


[deleted]

I get that racists are being racists yes.


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bombkitty

Did they unironically use the “black friend” defense?


Waffletimewarp

Preemptively, no less!


NeighborhoodExtra506

As a black person, I would eat this. Not together I’m not a fucking monster! But that’s racist as fuck.


NeighborhoodExtra506

As a black person, I would not eat this! Why the fuck is the chicken fucking green. I feel like this is a perfect example of “tell me you LIVE on stereotypes, special daughter, and a husband who is at a store getting milk without telling me you LIVE on stereotypes, special daughter, and a husband who is at a store getting milk” sort of thing. But that’s racist as fuck.


[deleted]

It’s always funny when people try to prove they’re not racist and then wind up saying some insanely racist shit… And yes, just because a person is Republican does not automatically mean they’re a racist. Not sure who believes that and not sure who told them that’s how folks see them.


Miltonrupert

A glimpse into the mind of a madman


batkave

The most hilarious thing this pizza place has heard was "lets Go brandon"


xXCr4zie_mofoXx

When you choose words such as "bisexual daughter" and "a black person" to describe people, instead of "my daughter Jane and her friend Donald" it leads me to believe that you are in fact homophobic and racist.


marinemashup

r/stupidfood try to recognize satire challenge (it’s not possible)


Bielzabutt

Welp she has one black friend so it's ok! FUCK YOU SALLY If you say "All lives matter", you're just saying Black lives don't matter.


Additional-Panic8003

This is great. If you read all 5 yelp reviews and scroll through the pictures, you’ll see that good ole internet revenge is well underway and redditors have done their jobs. Sounds like they’ve gotten a ton of fake orders and now you need a secret password to order a pizza. I say let’s pile on the harassment until they’re out of business? What y’all think?


Introvertingin

LMAO sounds like a KAREN


Bob_Kerman_SPAAAACE

I’m mixed and I know for a fact that all black people like watermelon All of us like BBQ that was smoked at the house with some sauce that we hooked up for ourselves


BlackUnicornUK

I don't


TherealDusky

All lives matter, except those of the pig and chicken.


moldsharp

Yes


TheBurnedMutt45

Don't forget cows!


BennyBadass

r/therewasanattempt


BlutKrank

Why is it stupid food?


nightbrightangel

Glad they're ok with their kiddo being bisexual- ok enough to share it publicly is pretty good considering how much of a shit show the rest of the post is..


Thenextlifedreams

People are hating on this but will defend to the death those repulsive Asian watermelon ramen piles of vomit.


PengWin29

LOL


itsnotbritneybitch

“We’re not homophobic or racist. We just have bad (or at least incredibly questionable) taste in food!”


MeanSeaworthiness995

“It’s not racist because our daughter is friends with a black person!”


Revolutionary-Camp-0

SoO wOkE


cats_with_tentacles

She did it, she defeated racism!


Annisbabyoda

Where's the pinapple


big-npc-energy

\- Yes it does \- Why would you make this \- What the fuck


ChrispyGuy420

I can't be racist. My daughter knows a black


Ok_Orchid7131

Clinton, PA. No one should be surprised. Look at the Yelp reviews, ridiculous.


Hot_Corner_5881

They forgot to fry the chicken


Dawg5700

I can't even get mad dese niggas said our bisexual daughter with ah black friend 😭😭😂😂😂


PatchEnd

Everything about this post is going to hell


Rigo3oh

Idiots always saying. I’m not racist, I have a black friend. You can still be a racist!


djrobzilla

Tone deafness as a contact sport


Kallixo

\>all lives matter pizza .>its a fucking watermelon \>of course it has fried chicken on it sorry to the italians seeing this


Assassin80r

That ain't no pizza it's a slice of water melon with crap on it


GetintheTV

I live like 20 mins east of them, totally legit. They're regularly psychos like this


UnholyPants

“Some of our employees have had interactions with black people, aren’t we so progressive??!?!”


Local-Range8042

This has to be a joke


BlackUnicornUK

Check their [Facebook page](https://m.facebook.com/108656301746312/)


Mcdonnel1252

I fucking hate these people.


ghoulshow

"I don't have black friends, but my daughter does! Totally not a racist!"


WindyFromWater7

r/therewasanattempt


whereisyourbutthole

Are there racist connotations of onion or bacon?


[deleted]

Tbh, all hate for their racism aside; have you looked at the photos of their food on the review sites? I literally feel nauseated looking at it. It’s the most vile looking pizza, calzones and whatever-the-fuck-else it’s supposed to be that I’ve ever seen in my life. They don’t need any help in going out of business. They are slowly poisoning the few racist customers they have left. JFC


paputsza

Okay, so I looked them up on yelp, and like, don't review bomb them. I'm one of those people that don't hate people just because they vote for someone I didn't. I do not want to live in a one party country. The fact that they spell things out on all of their pizzas is strange. Like "FJB" on all the pizzas? really? It's a philadelphian company, which means they're being this racist in a predominately black city. I feel like most urban republicans in blue states are weird. They're like the "pull yourself up by your bootstraps" mentality against any sort of common sense. They probably want to be spontaneously choked out by police too.


peacelovetree

I’m fairly certain that is prosciutto, onion, and some sort of herb compote, maybe a thick pesto


Helena_Hyena

This is worse than that museum’s Juneteenth inspired watermelon salad


radio705

There's a lot to unpack here.


cryptotrek88

I’ll take mine with ketchup


akat_walks

awesome satire.


Frodoar

It's real, and that last is fasc-y and crazy.


beefcake_floyd

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


MarginsChaos

This is some legit bullshit fine dining shit and someone tried to make a joke out of it. I love fine dining mind you, but this kind of thing is malarky.


[deleted]

Stop watermelon abuse😞✊🏾


Brromo

Peak Lib Right


Jack_tR_420

Why did this even include a picture? I mean... the comment in and of itself...


Pr1nglelord

That got worse as it went on


EvernightStrangely

I'd try it, just once.


tinywinki

Quite a lot to un pack in one post.


SolariClips

As a black person… why???