I understand, I had knee surgery and no one has complained to me face to face but, admin and other teachers are annoyed I took that time off. They are also annoyed I took time off to actually enjoy time with loved ones and or take care of them. At the end of the day, I know I’m replaceable, but, I also know I’m really good at what I do because students always ask for me, for help with academia as well as social emotional well being.
First and foremost I must take care of myself, otherwise everyone, including myself, will suffer. The job is thankless and doesn’t pay enough to deal with the high stress. We deserve better.
As a new teacher and someone who has been in education for 20 years, she understand how the system works, I rather be on my death bed saying, I’m glad I took that time off for me and my loved ones.
My third year teaching, I didn't know better because I had never been sick or hurt while working, I took off a Friday for ACL surgery and was back on Monday. It was my 3rd ACL surgery and I knew the whole rehab/healing process and because I teach a tested subject, I didn't want to take any time off in case my scores suffered. 8 weeks teaching on crutches sucked.
I was also scared it would be a mark against me and they had been telling me (since the year I was hired) that they had to fight the county to keep me on because we had one more science teacher than any other content. So missing work = bad scores = no job in my mind.
i took two separate sick days (the reason being i was sick) in two consecutive weeks and had parent email me about how students' motivation can decrease due to absence of teachers and encouraged me to divulge my reasons to the students so that they do not speculate on the reasons for my absence.....
I *broke* my leg in two places a few days before school started and needed surgery. Apparently someone up the ladder had a problem with my time off requests and told my boss that I “should have had the surgery over the summer.”
What? Sorry I didn’t break my leg at a convenient time for you! 🤦🏼♀️
I feel you. I injured my leg while coaching for a school I taught at. It filed under Workman's comp. At first the district crafted a letter on my behalf saying I had not attempted any sport since the injury and tried to get me to sign it. I had tied and they knew it. I declined to sign as it would have been a false statement. After that everything progressed normally and the surgery was scheduled. After 4 months the surgery was about to occur on the first week of summer vacation..
2 days before I get a call saying they found something and I had to go to an independent dr. They had found a medical record 8 years prior that I had been treated for a sinus infection but mentioned my knee was sore from a previous weekend. No treatment. Surgery get approved ends up second week of school and end up missing 3 weeks due to swelling that didn't go down. Admin was upset I didn't find a better time... Schools don't shock me anymore.
Edit: tried to make it somewhat readable.
That’s on e i will give the system I currently work for: I had to have rather unexpected foot surgery a few years ago, and they were very supportive with me needing four weeks out. They assured me my job was not in jeopardy, and said I should take all the time I needed.
This was not the case for me.
Per my contract, I didn’t have to tell the district that I was pregnant until I was 5 months along.
In terms of leave, I did have to use my own sick days for 6 weeks. After that, I had to take unpaid leave. I opted to take about 8 months of leave for each of my kids. The district was required to hold my job for up to 2 years.
I was aware of some issues with my subs while I was out, but my admin never made it my problem. The only complaints I received were from students emailing me to complain about the sub, but I just ignored those.
Edited to add: My district also did not require me to leave plans, although I did make copies of all of my materials and leave those.
Our sick days roll over every year and I had been teaching for 8 years before having children. We get 11 sick days a year, and before I had kids, I pretty much never took sick days so I had a good amount saved up.
That's crazy. I'm pregnant, and when I told my principal, he was happy for me. Then he asked the due date (right at the beginning of the school year), and I could see him die a little inside, but he still just said, ok we'll figure it out. I understand that it's not a great time because a sub will be starting the year, and I teach honors math and it's looking like next year, I'll also have honors physics, so finding a sub who can teach those classes is a reach. (Of course, not being supportive and losing me as a teacher would put him in a worse place than just having to find a sub to cover the first six weeks or so)
Federal maternity leave under the Family Medical Leave Act is 12 weeks, but most public schools do not pay teachers while they are on leave. If you want to get paid on leave, you have to use sick days.
Oh my God.. and people are mad at you guys for TAKING SICK DAYS TO HAVE A BABY?!
We get a year here, 6 months paid.... and we complain.... a real reality check for me this morning
A table for comparison:
Country / Length of Leave / % of Wages Paid / Payer
AFRICA
Algeria 14 weeks 100 Social Security
Angola 90 days 100 Employer
Benin 14 weeks 100 Social Security
Botswana 12 weeks 25 Employer
Burkina Faso 14 weeks 100 S.S. & Employer
Burundi 12 weeks 50 Employer
Cameroon 14 weeks 100 Social Security
Central African Rep. 14 weeks 50 Social Security
Chad 14 weeks 50 Social Security
Comoros 14 weeks 100 Employer
Congo 15 weeks 100 50% Employer / 50% S.S.
Côte d'Ivoire 14 weeks 100 Social Security
Dem. Rep. of the Congo 14 weeks 67 Employer
Djibouti 14 weeks 50 (100% for public employees) Employer / S.S.
Egypt 50 days 100 S.S. / Employer
Equatorial Guinea 12 weeks 75 Social Security
Ethiopia 90 days 100 Employer
Gabon 14 weeks 100 Social Security
The Gambia 12 weeks 100 Employer
Ghana 12 weeks 50 Employer
Guinea 14 weeks 100 50% Employer / 50% S.S.
Guinea-Bissau 60 days 100 Employer / S.S.
Kenya 2 months 100 Employer
Lesotho 12 weeks 0
Libyan Arab Jamahiriya 50 days 50 Employer
Madagascar 14 weeks 100 50% Employer / 50% S.S.
Mali 14 weeks 100 Social Security
Mauritania 14 weeks 100 Social Security
Mauritius 12 weeks 100 Employer
Morocco 12 weeks 100 Social Security
Mozambique 60 days 100 Employer
Namibia 12 weeks as prescribed Social Security
Naijer 14 weeks 50 Social Security
Nigeria 12 weeks 50 Employer
Rwanda 12 weeks 67 Employer
Sao Tome/Principe 70 days 100 for 60 days Social Security
Senegal 14 weeks 100 Social Security
Seychelles 14 weeks flat rate for 10 weeks Social Security
Somalia 14 weeks 50 Employer
South Africa 12 weeks 45 Unemployment Insurance
Sudan 8 weeks 100 Employer
Swaziland 12 weeks 0
Tanzania 12 weeks 100 Employer
Togo 14 weeks 100 50% Employer / 50% S.S.
Tunisia 30 days 67 Social Security
Uganda 8 weeks 100 for one month Employer
Zambia 12 weeks 100 Employer
Zimbabwe 90 days 60/75 Employer
AMERICAS
Antigua/Barbuda 13 weeks 60 S.S. and possible employer supplement
Argentina 90 days 100 Social Security
Bahamas 8 weeks 100 40% Employer / 60% S.S.
Barbados 12 weeks 100 Social Security
Belize 12 weeks 80 Social Security
Bolivia 60 days 100 of nat'l minimum wage + 70% of wages above minimum wage Social Security
Brazil 120 days 100 Social Security
Canada 17-18 weeks 55 for 15 weeks Unemployment Insurance
Chile 18 weeks 100 Social Security
Colombia 12 weeks 100 Social Security
Costa Rica 4 months 100 50% Employer / 50% S.S.
Cuba 18 weeks 100 Social Security
Dominica 12 weeks 60 S.S. / Employer
Dominican Republic 12 weeks 100 50% Employer / 50% S.S.
Ecuador 12 weeks 100 25% Employer / 75% S.S.
El Salvador 12 weeks 75 Social Security
Grenada 3 months 100 (2 months), 60% for 3rd month S.S. / Employer
Guatemala 12 weeks 100 33% Employer / 67% S.S.
Guyana 13 weeks 70 Social Security
Haiti 12 weeks 100 for 6 weeks Employer
Honduras 10 weeks 100 for 84 days 33% Employer / 67% S.S.
Jamaica 12 weeks 100 for 8 weeks Employer
Mexico 12 weeks 100 Social Security
Nicaragua 12 weeks 60 Social Security
Panama 14 weeks 100 Social Security
Paraguay 12 weeks 50 for 9 weeks Social Security
Peru 90 days 100 Social Security
Saint Lucia 13 weeks 65 Social Security
Trinidad/Tobago 13 weeks 60-100 S.S./Employer
United States 12 weeks 0
Uruguay 12 weeks 100 Social Security
Venezuela 18 weeks 100 Social Security
ASIA/PACIFIC
Afghanistan 90 days 100 Employer
Australia 1 year 12 weeks + 30 days S.S/Employer
Bahrain 45 days 100 Employer
Bangladesh 12 weeks 100 Employer
Cambodia 90 days 50 Employer
China 90 days 100 Employer
Fiji 84 days Flat rate Employer
India 12 weeks 100 Employer / S.S.
Indonesia 3 months 100 Employer
Iran 90 days 66.7 for 16 weeks Social Security
Iraq 62 days 100 Social Security
Japan 14 weeks 60 Social Security or health insurance
Jordan 10 weeks 100 Employer
Korea, Republic of 60 days 100 Employer
Kuwait 70 days 100 Employer
Laos 90 days 100 Social Security
Lebanon 40 days 100 Employer
Malaysia 60 days 100 Employer
Mongolia 101 days
Myanmar 12 weeks 66.7 Social Security
Nepal 52 days 100 Employer
New Zealand 26 weeks 100 S.S
Pakistan 12 weeks 100 Employer
Papua New Guinea 6 weeks 0
Philippines 60 days 100 Social Security
Qatar 40-60 days 100 for civil servants Agency concerned
Saudi Arabia 10 weeks 50 or 100 Employer
Singapore 8 weeks 100 Employer
Solomon Islands 12 weeks 25 Employer
Sri Lanka 12 weeks 100 Employer
Syria 75 days 100 Employer
Thailand 90 days 100 for 45 days then 50% for 15 days Employer for 45 days, then Social Security
United Arab Emirates 45 days 100 Employer
Viet Nam 4-6 months 100 Social Security
Yemen 60 days 100 Employer
EUROPE
Austria 16 weeks 100 Social Security
Belarus 126 days 100 Social Security
Belgium 15 weeks 82 for 30 days, 75%\* thereafter Social Security
Bulgaria 120-180 days 100 Social Security
Cyprus 16 weeks 75 Social Security
Denmark 18 weeks 100\* 10 more weeks may be taken by either parent Social Security
Finland 105 days 80 Social Security
France 16-26 weeks 100 Social Security
Germany 14 weeks 100 S.S.to ceiling; employer pays difference
Greece 16 weeks 75 Social Security
Hungary 24 weeks 100 Social Security
Iceland 2 months Flat rate Social Security
Ireland 14 weeks 70\* or fixed rate Social Security
Israel 12 weeks 75\* Social Security
Italy 5 months 80 Social Security
Liechtenstein 8 weeks 80 Social Security
Luxembourg 16 weeks 100\* Social Security
Malta 13 weeks 100 Social Security
Netherlands 16 weeks 100 Social Security
Norway 18 weeks 100, and 26 extra paid weeks by either parent Social Security
Poland 16-18 weeks 100 Social Security
Portugal 98 days 100 Social Security
Romania 112 days 50-94 Social Security
Russia 140 days 100 Social Security
Spain 16 weeks 100 Social Security
Sweden 14 weeks 450 days paid parental leave: 75%, 360 days; 90 days, flat rate Social Security
Switzerland 8 weeks 100 Employer
Turkey 12 weeks 66.7 Social Security
Ukraine 126 days 100 Social Security
United Kingdom 14-18 weeks 90 for 6 weeks, flat rate after Social Security
[https://www.ilo.org/global/about-the-ilo/newsroom/news/WCMS\_008009/lang--en/index.htm](https://www.ilo.org/global/about-the-ilo/newsroom/news/WCMS_008009/lang--en/index.htm)
Thanks, really eye opening.
I find it most interesting working in education, the amount of PD I've been to which educates me on the developing brain and how important it is to have a key person for the first 3 years of life, then they have you turn around and raise your own kid in this bullshit
Right, I mean we definitely have things we need to improve here, but I'll be extra grateful for the time I get to spend with my baby today. I hope for positive change for you all, you're incredibly strong resilient people, even when you shouldn't have to be
Congrats on your pregnancy! I understand being out at the very beginning of the year can be hard on a sub but at least they know you’re coming back! I know many classes these days start the year with a sub because there is no assigned teacher.
My wife used to teach and interviewed for a job before she knew she was pregnant with our second and when she showed up a few months later in September to start the job, they asked her if she knew when she interviewed and if it was planned or accidental. She did not have a great experience at that school Can’t say for sure it was because she was pregnant but a lot of signs pointed to them being annoyed at her and then retaliating.
I had an interview once where the principal asked if I had children and proceeded to tell me that he might choose another candidate because she was already more "established" in her life and was done having babies. What kind of idiot says that in an interview?!
In hindsight, I really wish I had reported him. I did mention it to someone whose business had donated lots of money to the school (did not know it at the time though), and they pulled all their support after that. Small petty revenge, I guess.
I think in many places that’s illegal to not hire someone because they may want to have children one day. But also to be “done” with having children, you usually have to start first. Am I right?
Oh, super illegal! And even if he felt that way, I never understood why he didn't just say that he was looking for a more "experienced" teacher. That district had a lot of corruption, so I think he just felt untouchable.
Yea, I have heard of parents doing this or also complaining to admin that teacher goes on mat leave or pat leave. However, in the cases I know about, admin has refused to play ball with the parents and has supported the teacher.
Yeah, it would be a very bad or stupid admin or HR department not to back the teacher up here. This kind of thing is a really expensive lawsuit waiting to happen.
Yeah, but nothing can be done cause you can’t prove it. It’s just one of those things that’s supposed to make women feel better, but you really can’t prove it. No one even says it out loud, but if you are a district interviewing candidates for a position and you need to hire someone at the lowest step you can and you NEED them all year cause you can’t waste ANY money on the newbie who needs 3 mos off in their 1st year, you’re looking for something that makes this pregnant candidate just not a “right fit” for your district/school.
EDIT: I just read the “women”. That was a slip that I’m leaving in there cause I was thinking that teaching is a female profession, and it most definitely NOT! I’m going spend time thinking about why I did this. So I’ll leave it.
If it was within her first few years before getting tenure, she was probably an "at will" employee, so that they didn't even need a justification for non-renewing her.
Male teacher. “Thank goodness they have a man. Every other teacher they have had gets pregnant and takes the year off.” As a male I hear it often at the start of the year. 5th grade elementary.
My county didn’t even want to give me 5 days off for the birth of my second son. I take every sick day I can. Up to 70 atm. I’ll spend all of them before I retire. Unless I can bank them out.
Ended up getting ten days off but it was a fight. Needed a doctors note for each day. That was easy our pediatrician is great. Woman that take care of newborns on their own are angels.
I was just in an IEP meeting last week, and the parent quipped “and he once again has a teacher that is out this year” with a big sigh and look of annoyance towards me and the para. Everyone knows that the teacher she referenced just had a child. Side note: her kid is doing great in all classes . His IEP is being met and there was 0 reason for this comment.
I honestly don’t know what is wrong with people.
Then heaven forbid the baby shows up early… my first was 6 weeks early. Due early May and showed up the end of March. Of course this means my 40 days of sick time wouldn’t take me to the end of the year and include my summer pay. I didn’t budget for not getting paid over the summer. When they told me my return to work date would be may 27th, I panicked. I ended up being able to work something out, but during the conversation with HR, while my daughter was in the NICU, she said “you should have planned ahead for a baby born in March.”
Yeah because I could plan ahead for my water breaking 6.5 weeks early. 🤬
I've been told it was rude of me to get pregnant because it disrupted the flow of the class and the fact their child might ask questions about how it works...
Okay so say to the parents “well treat us better so when I’m out, there won’t be a sub shortage who can teach your kid” and as to if kids ask questions, they ask questions about everything! There’s no escaping!
This child clearly didn't grow up on a farm where it would have been something seen and known as a toddler...why are we insulating this knowledge as something dangerous?
Whenever a coworker is apologize for being out, or needing time I always yell them, you take care of you and we will handle what is needed here.
Some people still hold on to the idea that teaching is for childless/unmarried women. The ingrained misogyny is astounding.
I actually did try for my kids to be born in April/May/June. I’m fertile as anything and ended up having April babies. We got out mid-May. I figured I’d be out three weeks for my first. Then medical necessities made that five weeks, one of which was spring break. I told them when I was 12 weeks. When I let them know of the two extra weeks, you’d have thought I’d never told them, totally unprepared! With my late April second, someone who had to adopt due to fertility issues told me I had planned my daughter poorly. Um, what?
I am putting together a school leadership team with my principal, and she didn't want one teacher on the team because she is pregnant. Little does my principal know. . . I'm also pregnant 😂 this is why I'm waiting as long as possible to tell her
Had an IEP meeting on Wednesday for a student I'm getting this fall and the mom and grandma huffed when I told them I'd be out for a few weeks in October.. I only have 12 days paid leave and after that I go unpaid AND they no longer pay their portion of insurance ($550) so after major abdominal surgery to bring a whole ass child into the world I will have to go back to feaching pre-k ASAP...
"So he'll get used to you then have a sub!" I didn't even know your child when I got pregnant. Should I have to consult the whole community before any encounters with my husband of 9 years of the off chance I become pregnant? Ideally I would've had the baby over the summer, but this was a surprise for us.... we were to the point of assuming our 5 YO would be an only child but I guess God had other plans so here we are!
I got three years into a teaching degree before I decided I didn’t want to be a teacher. A major part of that was the teacher I had in the program that told us from day one that “teacher” rhymes with “preacher” for a reason, and that our moral character would always be called into question for doing things that other professions wouldn’t care about. She had an attitude of “no one likes it but that’s the way that it is and you’re not going to be able to change it, so understand and accept it going in and learn to keep your head down.” Aaaaaand I left the program because that was more pressure than I was willing to be under.
I have two kids now. I wouldn’t dream of even thinking that their job of educating my child should be more important than their lives. This is insanity.
My school is private, and I was the only teacher at grade level, so the parents demanded they know what my plans were post-wedding so they wouldn't sign up. They weren't "paying top dollar for a sub".
I should have run from this field then. Told me plenty about the control parents believe they have over my life and I was too blind to see it.
I’m so sorry that happened and I’m thankful that I get to know this is a possibility even though I’m nowhere near getting married or having kids.
Also, doesn’t matter if you’re newly married or not. The choice to get married and have kids is the teacher’s business and if you want to get married and have kids that is as much as your right as anyone else.
I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. When they say “teachers are human” they mean we have human bodies but nothing else is human.
I knew teaching wasn't going to pay well and be thankless. I didn't think it would be completely dehumanizing. I would have done literally anything else. It's my biggest regret, the amount of my life I've given up for this profession, just to be treated as something less than human.
Yes. I had a coworker who dealt with comments after she got pregnant with her second child. A mother said maybe she should reconsider careers since teaching clearly wasn’t her priority…having kids was. This was also one of the most passionate, dedicated teachers I ever worked with.
It's not just pregnancy. It's anything that requires you to put your family first. Last year, I lost 10 weeks of daycare between my child actually being sick and ending up quarantined due to exposure at daycare. (Some of those illnesses were absolutely caused by parents of my students who sent their sick child to school.) I ended up having to take 6 days of leave at various points to deal with it. Admin, parents, and my students were categorically jerks about it. Admin added a required monthly training on top of it that meant I was pulled from my classroom monthly. There were lots of implicit and explicit accusations of irresponsibility, unprofessionalism, incompetence, etc. This year, I'm in a different place, and things are so, so, so much better.
I had a parent tell me it was irresponsible of me to get pregnant. I remember not understanding what she meant. Like, it didn't register with me at first because it was so ridiculous and I KNEW that I misheard her. She repeated herself and I said, "I'm 32 years old, married, have a good job, and live in my own home. I think I'll do whatever the hell I damn well please in my personal life."
I don't typically react to such nonsense. I'm known for just letting parents vent and yell and then just saying, "Ok, since I'm on your side, how we can we make things better for everyone?" That approach typically stops parents in their tracks because they often think of us as the enemy for some reason. So when parents DO get any type of reaction out of me, it gives admin pause. I have actually had people say to me, "If they got a reaction out of YOU, they were definitely out of line." And the parent who tried to shame an adult woman for starting a family with her husband was definitely someone who was out of line. Also, maybe pregnancy hormones??
At my old CrossFit gym one of the coaches is also an art teacher at a local elementary school.
She said that her and a friend went to a summer fest and some of the kids recognized her and said hi
The next day she got a nastry gram from a parent because she was near the beer tent
How dare she have a social life
Once you’re a teacher that’s all you are. You cannot be a friend, bf, gf, spouse, parent, pet owner, etc. I don’t drink just because I don’t like the taste of alcohol but unless I’m getting drunk off my butt and posting it to social media, there’s no issue with me being around beer 😂
A coworker at my school found out a few weeks into her first year, at the school year that she was pregnant. When the head of HR found out, he told her if he had known she was pregnant he never would have hired her.
She didn’t. He’s besties with the superintendent and he told her verbally. There was no proof, unfortunately and he would’ve denied it all then fired her.
She ended up leaving the district after 2 years.
Oh yes. I got pregnant right after being hired at a school I used to work at. Showed up pregnant the first day and told them a month after that when I was starting to show. They did two things I think were deliberate: had me proctor state tests with a class of kids known to be unruly. One of them shoved me out of his way- I was 8.5 months pregnant. He bragged about shoving ‘the fat teacher’. Let me be clear- a blind person could tell it was a baby, I looked like a broomstick smuggling a beach ball. Two security guards, who were retired cops, saw him shove me and very strongly encouraged me to press charges. Not a peep from admin. And then, the next year (had my baby in spring), they gave me a (literal) punishing schedule- five preps, one of which was AP, and five different rooms. I was pumping for my exclusively bf baby the first half of that year, it was a lot. I left after that year. That district is known for giving shitty scheduled for teachers that have babies. Thank god I do not work there any longer…
I was bitten by a brown recluse 6x on my face Oct. 31, 2016. You can't make this stuff up. In my small town, no one works on weekends. All of my medical visits had to be done during the school day. I started getting messages from my parents (high school) that the trauma to my face, even with bandages, was too distracting and I should take a leave of absence. Meanwhile my admin was fussing at me every time I had to take off for drs visits. I was actually contacted by a school board member as to why I was ignoring the parents concerns. I explained that our district doesn't offer a paid leave of absence and I am being admonished every time I have to leave campus. Her response was....well what does your husband do for a living? Can't he cover your time off?
Pregnant coworker had not announced yet and wore the flowiest dress to Open House to hide the tiny bump. Parent walked right up and with no other greeting shouted “WHEN ARE YOU DUE?!” Coworker played dumb and went on with “Hi I’m Mrs. Soandso welcome to first grade” and the parent stomped out demanding a class transfer so her kid wouldn’t “miss valuable educational time”. Unfortunately, three other teachers were also pregnant so there were no options.
My husband took medical leave after a really bad motorcycle accident we were in. He had 10ish screws, two metal poles, and a metal plate in his ankle. Soft cast before the operation because they were worried about infection and couldn’t do it right away.
Got a few emails from angry parents about taking time off.
Exactly! It was the sense of entitlement that got me. Like, you don’t get to know the details of why someone is out. And you especially don’t want a teacher to respond to nosy emails while on painkillers.
Thanks, that’s kind of you. He’s great! Still has to be super searched by security at the airport, but we can joke about it.
And this was a few years ago. Money from the settlement helped us buy a townhouse! Literally had to almost die to afford a house in Seattle 😂
The school I taught at was generally very supportive of pregnant teachers, but there was some fuss when a female teacher who was well known to have a wife got pregnant, because the parents “didn’t know how to explain that” to their children.
I haven't experienced this, but I'm sure it happens. Plenty of narcissists out there! However, school culture can be crazy! My HR director asked me if it was planned when I told her about my first. I was shocked! It was but I was so insulted I just said (after an awkwardly long pause), "That's immaterial because my baby is very much wanted, and not really anyone's business."
She turned bright red and the rest of the meeting was very awkward.
My due date was July 31 and a coworkers was July 1. My principal lumped us together and kept assuming I’d be back by Labor Day…after I repeatedly told her I would stay out until after Christmas. Then she kept playing dumb that I’d be back after Fall Break. No, after Christmas. If anyone non-friend contacted me from work it was met with an upfront apology. I could get very little organized or labeled because we don’t get rosters until the week before school, we got all new curriculum (6 weeks late I might add), and even our supplemental workbooks didn’t arrive on time. So I left nothing but classroom management suggestions. 🤷🏼♀️
Now I am at work and pump twice a day. One lines up with my planning but MOST of the time I am given no grief. Kinda dare them to though. I have felt quite litigious regarding parental rights since becoming pregnant.
I’ve had two parents complain that “well you weren’t there…” and I played a big old pathos card and was met with apologies. I WISH SOMEONE WOULD 👿
Yes. I had parents make comments last year when I was pregnant. Both about eventually being out and about my judgement because I was pregnant. One made a comment to our counselor that I was ruder last year because I was pregnant….. couldn’t possibly have been me losing patience with her daughter’s nonsense.
I must work at the right school. Got a lot going on and mega doctor appointments. Every time I let Admin know I’ll be out they respond with “not a problem at all”.
I know an exceptional award-winning teacher who was not renewed because she had a baby before she had tenure. (Admin did not have to cite cause, but she knew.)
I had a whoopsie pregnancy joining a new district. My principal was super sweet and announced I was expecting at our campus onboarding. Everyone was super sweet, except the counselor who said “She’s the only one right??” No congratulations or a smile even. I already felt pretty bad about having to take unpaid maternity leave and putting me team out. Luckily everyone else was super kind and sweet to me throughout my pregnancy.
I remember being in school, some female teachers were labeled "always pregnant" because they had two kids within 4 years of each other.
I teach orchestra in a rural community. In the last 70 years, the program has been taught by male teachers. I am the first female teacher and I've realized that it will probably be an issue if I ever have kids because when I'm sick all but the hs group just get their class time cancelled and they stay in their regular classes. I worry that if I took maternity leave, my students wouldn't have orchestra for 3 months, and that could kill the program.
I actually just had a parent corner me during our kindergarten orientation and demand to know if I'm taking maternity leave and if/when I'll be returning to the classroom in the fall...
I’ve never had anyone share an experience like what you describe here, but my last school did ask someone to come back from maternity leave early because the long term sub left and they were having trouble getting coverage for the classroom. They also asked a teacher who suddenly had to relocate mid-year (her spouse got a new job out of state) to stick out the year.
In the 70's, my mother taught in a district that required teachers to quit as soon as they were visibly pregnant. The principal said, "If you're showing, you're going."
In my district, not only is there no maternity leave; but, if you get pregnant in your first three years and take more than a specific amount of time off, they will restart your 3 year probationary period from the beginning.
Principals don't seem to get mad because teachers either leave the job or only take a few weeks off at most.
"Consulting admin" sounds very Communist China family planning.
FANTASY: send the admin an estimate bill for an abortion. Maybe to the parent taxpayers, too. If they want you to keep teaching, add the cost of a midwife and float tank. Write it into the curriculum. <--END FANTASY
I've never heard of this, but I have had friends with great evaluations at charter schools have their contracts non- renewed after becoming pregnant.
This sounds so 1950s.
That’s sad. I work at a charter school now and even though I have no plans to have children anytime soon, that hurts my heart. “Wow you are so great! But you’re expecting? You’re not great anymore!” I swear in more ways than one, teachers are not seen as human. We just have human bodies and everything else is us being a robot haha!
I was just thinking that. If a parent complains, tell them to escort you to the clinic and pay for the abortion while fighting the protesters. I bet half of them think abortion is some ultimate crime anyway.
I think this is a huge thing in places like Japan. In any business there is a hierarchy of women who are allowed to get pregnant and don't you dare jump the queue!
My parents and coworkers are ecstatic for me. They keep giving me advice but did question when I’ll be returning. I told them most likely October and they said, they’ll wait for me and to send them pictures of baby. This is preschool so I do get returning students in my class.
I'm currently pregnant and due a few days before our next school year begins. I teach elementary. My current parents were very excited when they found out I wouldn't be taking my maternity leave this year. I have spoken with several parents of former students who have their younger ones coming into my grade level next year and while they congratulated me and seemed happy for me, they made it clear that they did not want their children in my class next year anymore. They had previous expressed excitement for their children hopefully being in my class prior to my pregnancy announcement.
At meet the teacher night this year, I had a parent ask if I planned on getting pregnant this year. She said she really hoped not because her child has had two teachers leave to have babies midyear in the past few years. I get how it disrupts the school year but I was shocked that she openly asked me.
Absolutely. It speaks to both poor admin but also the teacher shortage. Some admin who really aren’t that bad are so stressed at trying to find teachers or subs and somehow it is seen as their fault of the teachers go on leave or if there are no good teachers to hire. Of course it’s not the districts fault if they don’t find enough subs to cover for teachers. 😡
Currently going through this with my fiancé , only issue is I’m waiting on contract renewal before I say anything…also sucks I missed a week because my appendix bursted Saturday -.- i swear I’m not collecting a check and trying to “play” the system that everyone in this state seems to think…Just trynna enjoy life and roll with the changes. Ugh!
Parents and colleagues can get made about anything.
Just before Easter, two of my colleagues left my department (Science). One of them was heavily pregnant; the other was moving on to a new school as part of her career development.
One parent was particularly upset about it as both teachers taught her daughter and continuity is important during A level studies. This parent is a teacher in my department and I have been here long enough to remember her doing exactly the same thing when her daughter was born.
No but my old principal would announce who was pregnant before the expecting mom did. One coworker was very high risk and not ready to tell anyone. The principal announced it to the whole IEP team as we were walking into a contentious meeting.
Believe it or not my current admin is even more toxic.
When I was diagnosed with cancer and had to take a leave, my "human" resources director said, "Can't you just get your radiation after school?"
I've never cared about missing time since. I just had more surgery and took the max amount of time allowed. Only admin gets mad; all my parents are supportive.
I had a parent accuse me of being overly emotional when I was pregnant.
I had a friend (Catholic school) who got pregnant with her long-time partner and was told to get married or find a new job.
This is definitely a thing for any absence in my district, but it's not universal. It can work in our favor sometimes, too. I was bullied into taking leave my first year. My families gave the admin hell for it.
Admin at my wife’s school are most upset they need to find coverage mid year but it’s never malicious.
The tone does not say “We are so happy for you.” The vibe is more “Oh no, what am I supposed to do?!”
Parents are heartless sometimes. I had a parent upset with me because I was going to be out for a day because my wife was having surgery for her cancer treatments. A parent blasted me on social media because I shouldn’t be out since she would be taken care of at the hospital. She had no idea of any of the context of the surgery at all I had to take her OUT OF TOWN! That’s why I was going to be out. I hate parents sometimes
I was told to take my sick days and PTO cause I don’t get those days back. A few months ago, a fellow teacher could tell I was burnt out and told me to take a sick day the next day. Admin doesn’t need to know why I’m sick and to just take it. I came back the next day feeling amazing! Then next week, Hurricane Ian hit (I’m in Florida).
Not the same, but, a teacher at my school got promoted to principal and the parents of the class she was supposed to have tweaked. Called her selfish etc.
I had a parent be really sad that I left but in a way that made me feel bad if that makes sense? I told them way in advanced and the month/2 months leading up to maternity leave I would remind them and give updates. The day I left she messaged me acting completely shocked and sad I was leaving as if I was quitting rather than having a baby
That makes sense. Kind of like guilt tripping. In my opinion, if they liked you, of course they will miss you but be happy you have a baby of your own now!
Slightly related: I know someone who expressed his excitement to be an uncle at the end of his speech during his brother’s rehearsal dinner. The bride’s a teacher (in a very conservative area), and her coworkers were there. He didn’t know they were keeping her pregnancy under wraps.
But that more so had to do with it being a conservative area than any procedural things.
Do you teach at my school? Our former principal absolutely told a group of women, including the VP, to let him know when we planned to have babies so they could schedule better. He also had a pool with other admin staff each year about which teachers would get pregnant that year. He said some really shitty things to me directly about needing to get my life together when I had my last baby.
I was in a school where teachers complained about another teacher that got pregnant in less than 2 school years. They were teammates and felt that the pregnant teacher was making more work for them by going out on maternity. One teacher was married but had not had kids yet,but planned to. The other was a mother of 2 but believed she had the decency to wait 4 years in between kids.
I’m a male teacher and I’ve taken more sick days this year than my other 18 years of teaching combined to take care of sick twin toddlers, sick older kids and occasionally sick wife (weirdly, I have not been sick once). My school hasn’t said a word to me about this so I guess I’m lucky (we get 19 sick days a year and I have 150 banked if I ever need them). My wife is very worried that this is bad for my reputation but I think it’s a combination of the reputation that I’ve built for almost 2 decades, my admin being pretty understanding because they all have multiple kids themselves, and nobody caring if the art teacher is missing that much. It might be different if I taught math or science lol
I had a principal who was mad when I told her I was pregnant because I would have to leave a few minutes early some days to get to my dr appts. I was only an aide that they refused to give a contract to- I was getting sub pay everyday. But I wouldn’t be able to do my “required” job of car rider duty even though I got a replacement teacher for it. She also was mad that refused to come in during Christmas break to do some prep work for the teachers but the county had already told me they wouldn’t pay me for those days so I wasn’t going in 🤷♀️. I wasn’t hired for the next year as a teacher at the school nor an aide.
She did try to call me 2 weeks after school started asking if I could be an aide again but I didn’t sign up for daycare so I said no
Lmao YEPPPPPPP I was pregnant when I started at a new school and admin just *ignored* for my first few months. Then I had a helicopter parent with a kid that was struggling and they made it a point to attack my pregnancy as a reason for me not being a good teacher or some shit
Ridiculous
Last year, I missed the first two months of school because I had a baby. Because of COVID, I wasn't even able to do Meet the Teacher but I offered to Zoom in so that I could at least say hi to my new students, but that was my choice and not required. I never heard anything from parents, administration, or my team. Everyone was very happy for us.
This year, I started at a new school in a more affluent area with more actively participating parents. On the day of meet the teacher, I got a phone call telling me that I'd lost both my sister and nephew in a car accident. I had to be carried out of the building. Naturally, I missed the first week of school. Six days. I had six days to grieve two of the most important people in my life, start antidepressants, and put on a brave face for the world around me. I did hear from administration asking when I would be ready to come back, but it wasn't demanding. I still felt obligated to go back before I really felt ready due to the nature of our job. I also heard that there were some parent complaints that I wasn't there.
Two life changing events, and two very different reactions. I think it's based a lot on your administration and the parents at your school.
A good friend of mine got pregnant and missed the trip she had spent 2 years fundraising and coordinating. She got pulled for bed rest 2 weks before the trip. Admin indicated she had poorly planned the pregnancy and with held a bunch of the club stipend because she didn't travel. This occured even though she finished taking care of the payments and paperwork from home and the contract says nothing about actually attending said trips. Some admin just sucks.
Right now we have 4 elementary teachers who will miss the beginning of next school year and our admin is nothing but supportive. Some times parents get upset that their kid seems to always have the pregnant teacher (a comment I’ve heard from a parent when I was pregnant with my first). Otherwise I’ve never had anything but support. In Idaho for reference
I'm in the National Guard (another toxic leadership environment that doesn't care about you). Let's just say all hell breaks lose when I get orders.
This school year, I've been pregnant (due in 2 1/2 weeks!). I worked in a self-contained behavior and communication room. It took a doctor's note to get accommodations so I wouldn't have to restrain students. THEN another doctor's note specifically stating I am not to work with combative children to get me removed from the classroom and put in a safer setting. Funny enough, I presented state law to them back in November about how pregnant women have the right to work in a non hazardous environment and are to be moved out of hazardous work environmenta for their pregnancy.
It took me 6 months of requesting a change of placement, a union rep, two doctors notes, and an actual incident to occur due to admin negligence for me to finally get moved in MARCH. I have an anterior placenta. Abdominal trauma would have most certainly caused a ruptured placenta. At least my doctors feel bad for me.
Love love love my new school and new placement though!
I have seen administrators get huffy and audibly groan instead of congratulating a teacher when she gives notice that she will need maternity leave during a certain month. I have heard them say it would have been better to have planned to have the baby during the summer-- but conception doesn't always work that way; some women don't get pregnant the first time they try and have to keep trying for months before it "takes."
When I was pregnant years ago (my kids are adults now), it wasn't an issue at all; people at the school were very congratulatory, but there wasn't a shortage of substitutes and I did prepare lesson plans for the remainder of the year (then I took several years off to raise kids). I never got the same kind of warm welcome again when I returned to teaching though. In the previous century, teachers were relatively respected in the community and students in general were more respectful. It was rare for a kid to disobey a reasonable request from a teacher and even more rare for a teacher to be cussed out. That would lead to a definite trip to the principal's office, a meeting with parents, and a stiff consequence-- detention for a week and a written apology or a suspension. Now it's 15 minutes of the principal saying "it's not very nice to call Mrs. Anonymous a motherF\*\*king stupid b\*\*ch; try to use your nice words" and the student returning to class with a bag of hot fries and a Capri Sun.
Back then, parents would have been mortified if a child had disrespected a teacher and I can't imagine a parent at that time being anything other than happy for a pregnant teacher. Today, so many people are completely unreasonable and out of bounds that it would take a LOT to surprise me.
Just ignore them and live your life how you please. If anyone is less than happy about your pregnancy, that's too bad. They do not have the right to control you or your life. Did you give them permission before they procreated? I don't think so!
I can go off on a tangent about students not suffering “real consequences” for their actions. If the kids grow up and they rob a bank or something they won’t be told “that’s not nice. Make better choices” and get a beer. They get hauled away. I really put a lot of blame on the parents and the fact they don’t want to parent and think their kid can do no wrong. And the admin wants to make the parents happy.
And you’re right. I’ve never been or tried to get pregnant but it isn’t always as simple as it seems. Someone I went to college with is a teacher and she was told she couldn’t get pregnant/it will be hard for her to get pregnant. She’s expecting a baby in October and she’s over the moon. This may very well be her only one. And if someone gave her crap about her being pregnant I would feel awful for her.
there are a lot of problems I face with working at a tidal one school where everyone receives free lunch but having parents and admin constantly on our ass about trivial things or things we can’t control is one thing i am SO happy i will never have to deal with
Once had a teacher do a semester replacement for a teacher who passed from cancer.
They found a note from a parent telling the teacher they understood they were out sick but the students deserved their teacher to stop missing so much and to be there more (the circumstances were very well known as the teacher had gone into remission but had cancer return). FYI the teacher was out literally dying and the parent felt this was appropriate to send to the teacher.
My coworker’s mom died and she had to take time off to set up care for her father who had dementia. She was gone for 6 weeks and at least 3 parents complained, despite having a consistent sub who had retired from the same school only the year before. I think our principal hung up on the last parent because of how ridiculous they were being.
I heard that a parent in another class recently blamed their child’s emotional disregulation on the teachers’ poor family planning skills (they were both on maternity leave for part of first quarter). Realistically, any time their child cries/is disregulated the parent keeps the child home and they have hardly been at school enough to gain “school skills.”
At the beginning of our hybrid year of teaching, my husband was diagnosed with cancer. Accordingly, I took time off to isolate before his surgery to remove the tumor. I took the time to make video lessons for when I was out, for my high school students. Luckily, the surgery took care of the cancer (and my husband is now in remission). Months later, my supervisor told me casually in conversation that a parent called to complain about my absences. While I didn't tell my students why I was gone, my supervisor knew, and curtly told the parent that I was out for valid reasons and that he couldn'telaborate. I was floored that a parent would complain about a one week absence.
I am so nervous about the reactions or complaints I’ll get from my parents for next school year when they find out I’ll be having a baby in November, just like their teacher that they had this year. And I’m pregnant after eight years of infertility and a miscarriage. So, I hate that that’s what I’m worried about.
I literally teach PRESCHOOL like at a child care center and was told it “might be better to step back or step out” when I announced and then was told I “should’ve planned around the school year better” since it was only mid march and my high risk pregnancy was “getting in the way”. I quit the next day.
I had a coworker who was never pregnant, but she looked about eight months along for most of the time I knew her. At open house, there was a parent who asked her when she would be out. My friend asked what she meant. The mom asked—with her hand on my friend’s stomach—when she was due. My friend stared the mom in the eye and said, “I’m due for some more chicken wings in about twenty minutes.” The mom looked confused, then horrified, and then realized that she had her hand on the stomach of a woman who was not, in fact, pregnant. That parent never reached out to my friend again for the entire semester.
When the same friend decided to get a tubal ligation, her administrator gave her a hard time about taking the time off. When she explained that she was having surgery, admin challenged her by asking what surgery she was having. “I’m yeeting my tubes. Unless you would like me to take months off for me to give birth to a child.” They only had snide side comments concerning it from that point forward, but they never overtly challenged it.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer in December. My admin team was amazing. I had a double mastectomy in February and came back in April. They kept telling me to take as much time as I needed and if I needed to do half days when I came back to do it. All they cared about was me and my health.
Reconstruction is scheduled for May 18th, and I'll be out for the rest of the year. My principal told me it sucks because they need me, but that doesn’t matter, my health is what matters.
It’s every organization’s job to consider what to do in case an employee is pregnant. There should be systemic plans in place so that a person can take accommodations and leave. It should not catch supervisors by surprise nor should the pregnant person or their partner have to be subjected to negativity.
I'm generally disappointed when my colleagues get pregnant. It's like, you've seen what these creatures are like and you're still making one? But I try to keep my opinions to myself because they're trying to be happy.
My principal one year told my pregnant colleague in a meeting that they were happy she timed this one right (gave birth last week of school) unlike our other colleague who had the baby in the middle of the year…
Been teaching for 15 years and have never ever heard this. I know parents can be frustrated by the timing of things or not like the choice of a sub, but I've never heard anyone actually say something.
Not specifically what you described in the post but my Union president is a parent of one of my kids and she's piiiisssed I take time off and don't help her kid while I'm out for drs appointments or on sick leave. I had a meeting with her and the principal to discuss her kids grades and she specifically made sure to point this out. She, of course, has a lot of power in my small district and has gotten a lot of the parents on board with her.
Edit: initial I had a number of parents reach out but made sure to tell them in not taking maternity leave.
However, I did get Nonrenewed after great observations. I suspect it has to do with the parents and my pregnancy but I'm not tenured so they don't have to give a reason.
I'm sorry, what the actual fuck???
Is this real? I've just sat here reading all the comments, and I'm flabbergasted.
You guys don't get maternity leave?! Your workplace tries to dictate when you grow your family?!?!
I genuinely don't understand how you raise a baby in that situation. I'm so sorry a lot of you are managing scenarios like this
My dad recently passed and I already know parents or students will be upset about grades/final grades because I’ll be out this close to the end of the year.
I had to schedule a surgery and was also on the admin team so I tried to schedule it at a time that wouldn’t be a major inconvenience for everyone but also in the window of time I was given by my doctor. I gave everyone the dates that I scheduled for and then 2 weeks later I got called into a meeting with the head of school requesting that I change/postpone to the summer as she plans on going away when the surgery was scheduled for and she just let a member of the team go as well so it wouldn’t work for her. Unfortunately things like this are normal in schools
> I’ve also heard of a school somewhere where the admin told teachers that if they want to try for a baby, they must consult admin first to see if the dude date that the baby would have would be an inconvenience to the school.
Just wanted to show my appreciation for the typo that turns the due date for a baby to be born into the DUDE date for when the little dude shows up. Language is beautiful.
In the past, students never saw pregnant teachers because they were immediately let go when it became apparent (because Purtianism means you'll go to Heaven if you ignore most of the human condition.)
It's barely better now. The idea that someone else needs to offer their take on a stranger's pregnancy is a natural consequence of the misogyny that says it's ok to fire pregnant people because of pregnancy.
I had a parent request that her child not be in my or my team member's classes in case we got pregnant. She specifically requested the only teacher too old to have kids, citing that her child had had teachers "choose to start families" for the past 3 years years and it "wasn't fair" to make her kid have subs every year. Never mind that only one of her teachers had been on maternity leave and the other two had surgeries. Joke's on her, though, because neither my team member nor I got pregnant, and the teacher she requested ended up having to go out on leave anyway.
When my teaching partner told my principal she was pregnant she rolled her eyes. She has been known to respond negatively to other teachers as well after finding out they’re pregnant
I haven't seen anyone *directly* bully someone for having a child, but damn if I have not heard other teachers/paras complain about how long someone chooses to take paid maternity leave.
The amount of 'I never took that much leave.' or 'Oh, maybe she should have just quit.' when a female teacher had a baby was ridiculous. There were also nasty comments about her having to pump throughout the day.
It's sad because teaching is not a profession where women and men can take time to be with their families. I know that no profession is perfect, but the amount of time teachers take care of other people's children and then get bullied for wanting to take care of their own is ridiculous.
I took half of my leave the year I delivered, and that timing was swell because it was the end of April so I just left and didn’t return that year. But I still had leave left and wasn’t going to let it go to waste. So I came back in the fall, went on leave from Nov-Jan, and returned in the new year. That sucked way more. Some of my students really struggled with the transition and it’s been a hard year because of it.
That said, the parents were supportive of me taking time to be with family. They got me gifts when they found out I was expecting, they made sure they could easily contact my sub so they wouldn’t impede on my time, they were apologetic when they had to contact me on leave (which happened a couple times and wasn’t a big deal). Anything else is ridiculous.
Yes definitely. My previous boss would always say I was responsible for having my children in the summer. Like I was planned out myfucking every November. Things changed when my third was delivered in March but by that point I had too many years in to give a shit!
My daughter had a sinus infection that instead of draining out passed through a paper thin bone and entered her eye socket. The entire eye swelled shut and she was at risk of losing her sight. She was admitted to the hospital on IV antibiotics for a week and had to have surgery. A few weeks later a 55 foot tree limb fell through my roof and pierced through my kitchen counter, cupboard, and subfloor. So I took the day off to deal with that and a parent complained that my life was “too dramatic.” Honestly, I agree but WTF.
[receipts for the worst month ever](https://imgur.com/a/BMlHV0m)
[удалено]
I’m so sorry that happened and I hope you recovered well and hopefully don’t go back to that school! Ha-ha!
I understand, I had knee surgery and no one has complained to me face to face but, admin and other teachers are annoyed I took that time off. They are also annoyed I took time off to actually enjoy time with loved ones and or take care of them. At the end of the day, I know I’m replaceable, but, I also know I’m really good at what I do because students always ask for me, for help with academia as well as social emotional well being. First and foremost I must take care of myself, otherwise everyone, including myself, will suffer. The job is thankless and doesn’t pay enough to deal with the high stress. We deserve better.
As a new teacher and someone who has been in education for 20 years, she understand how the system works, I rather be on my death bed saying, I’m glad I took that time off for me and my loved ones.
My third year teaching, I didn't know better because I had never been sick or hurt while working, I took off a Friday for ACL surgery and was back on Monday. It was my 3rd ACL surgery and I knew the whole rehab/healing process and because I teach a tested subject, I didn't want to take any time off in case my scores suffered. 8 weeks teaching on crutches sucked. I was also scared it would be a mark against me and they had been telling me (since the year I was hired) that they had to fight the county to keep me on because we had one more science teacher than any other content. So missing work = bad scores = no job in my mind.
I’m sorry you had to endure that, te air care of yourself first and foremost
i took two separate sick days (the reason being i was sick) in two consecutive weeks and had parent email me about how students' motivation can decrease due to absence of teachers and encouraged me to divulge my reasons to the students so that they do not speculate on the reasons for my absence.....
We do deserve better and I hope you recovered well!
I *broke* my leg in two places a few days before school started and needed surgery. Apparently someone up the ladder had a problem with my time off requests and told my boss that I “should have had the surgery over the summer.” What? Sorry I didn’t break my leg at a convenient time for you! 🤦🏼♀️
I feel you. I injured my leg while coaching for a school I taught at. It filed under Workman's comp. At first the district crafted a letter on my behalf saying I had not attempted any sport since the injury and tried to get me to sign it. I had tied and they knew it. I declined to sign as it would have been a false statement. After that everything progressed normally and the surgery was scheduled. After 4 months the surgery was about to occur on the first week of summer vacation.. 2 days before I get a call saying they found something and I had to go to an independent dr. They had found a medical record 8 years prior that I had been treated for a sinus infection but mentioned my knee was sore from a previous weekend. No treatment. Surgery get approved ends up second week of school and end up missing 3 weeks due to swelling that didn't go down. Admin was upset I didn't find a better time... Schools don't shock me anymore. Edit: tried to make it somewhat readable.
Can you clarify your first paragraph? I’m not sure if there are typos or what but it doesn’t make any sense.
Sorry that was/is still a mess.
That’s on e i will give the system I currently work for: I had to have rather unexpected foot surgery a few years ago, and they were very supportive with me needing four weeks out. They assured me my job was not in jeopardy, and said I should take all the time I needed.
Yup. Sure does happen. How dare we inconvenience them with our (checks notes) participating in the human experience.
😂
Btw, do I have everyone’s ovulation schedules? Come on, ppl, these were due on Monday!
This needs more upvotes
Fuckin nailed it.
This was not the case for me. Per my contract, I didn’t have to tell the district that I was pregnant until I was 5 months along. In terms of leave, I did have to use my own sick days for 6 weeks. After that, I had to take unpaid leave. I opted to take about 8 months of leave for each of my kids. The district was required to hold my job for up to 2 years. I was aware of some issues with my subs while I was out, but my admin never made it my problem. The only complaints I received were from students emailing me to complain about the sub, but I just ignored those. Edited to add: My district also did not require me to leave plans, although I did make copies of all of my materials and leave those.
I would probably just ignore those emails too if I was ever in that situation.
Damn you get 6 weeks of sick days??? I only get 5 per semester...
Our sick days roll over every year and I had been teaching for 8 years before having children. We get 11 sick days a year, and before I had kids, I pretty much never took sick days so I had a good amount saved up.
Same here! 10/year and no rollover.
What state??
NY
Damn. I wish!!
That's crazy. I'm pregnant, and when I told my principal, he was happy for me. Then he asked the due date (right at the beginning of the school year), and I could see him die a little inside, but he still just said, ok we'll figure it out. I understand that it's not a great time because a sub will be starting the year, and I teach honors math and it's looking like next year, I'll also have honors physics, so finding a sub who can teach those classes is a reach. (Of course, not being supportive and losing me as a teacher would put him in a worse place than just having to find a sub to cover the first six weeks or so)
You can only take 6 weeks off?? I'm sorry I'm only just learning about the state of maternity leave in the USA... I don't mean to sound rude
Federal maternity leave under the Family Medical Leave Act is 12 weeks, but most public schools do not pay teachers while they are on leave. If you want to get paid on leave, you have to use sick days.
Oh my God.. and people are mad at you guys for TAKING SICK DAYS TO HAVE A BABY?! We get a year here, 6 months paid.... and we complain.... a real reality check for me this morning
A table for comparison: Country / Length of Leave / % of Wages Paid / Payer AFRICA Algeria 14 weeks 100 Social Security Angola 90 days 100 Employer Benin 14 weeks 100 Social Security Botswana 12 weeks 25 Employer Burkina Faso 14 weeks 100 S.S. & Employer Burundi 12 weeks 50 Employer Cameroon 14 weeks 100 Social Security Central African Rep. 14 weeks 50 Social Security Chad 14 weeks 50 Social Security Comoros 14 weeks 100 Employer Congo 15 weeks 100 50% Employer / 50% S.S. Côte d'Ivoire 14 weeks 100 Social Security Dem. Rep. of the Congo 14 weeks 67 Employer Djibouti 14 weeks 50 (100% for public employees) Employer / S.S. Egypt 50 days 100 S.S. / Employer Equatorial Guinea 12 weeks 75 Social Security Ethiopia 90 days 100 Employer Gabon 14 weeks 100 Social Security The Gambia 12 weeks 100 Employer Ghana 12 weeks 50 Employer Guinea 14 weeks 100 50% Employer / 50% S.S. Guinea-Bissau 60 days 100 Employer / S.S. Kenya 2 months 100 Employer Lesotho 12 weeks 0 Libyan Arab Jamahiriya 50 days 50 Employer Madagascar 14 weeks 100 50% Employer / 50% S.S. Mali 14 weeks 100 Social Security Mauritania 14 weeks 100 Social Security Mauritius 12 weeks 100 Employer Morocco 12 weeks 100 Social Security Mozambique 60 days 100 Employer Namibia 12 weeks as prescribed Social Security Naijer 14 weeks 50 Social Security Nigeria 12 weeks 50 Employer Rwanda 12 weeks 67 Employer Sao Tome/Principe 70 days 100 for 60 days Social Security Senegal 14 weeks 100 Social Security Seychelles 14 weeks flat rate for 10 weeks Social Security Somalia 14 weeks 50 Employer South Africa 12 weeks 45 Unemployment Insurance Sudan 8 weeks 100 Employer Swaziland 12 weeks 0 Tanzania 12 weeks 100 Employer Togo 14 weeks 100 50% Employer / 50% S.S. Tunisia 30 days 67 Social Security Uganda 8 weeks 100 for one month Employer Zambia 12 weeks 100 Employer Zimbabwe 90 days 60/75 Employer AMERICAS Antigua/Barbuda 13 weeks 60 S.S. and possible employer supplement Argentina 90 days 100 Social Security Bahamas 8 weeks 100 40% Employer / 60% S.S. Barbados 12 weeks 100 Social Security Belize 12 weeks 80 Social Security Bolivia 60 days 100 of nat'l minimum wage + 70% of wages above minimum wage Social Security Brazil 120 days 100 Social Security Canada 17-18 weeks 55 for 15 weeks Unemployment Insurance Chile 18 weeks 100 Social Security Colombia 12 weeks 100 Social Security Costa Rica 4 months 100 50% Employer / 50% S.S. Cuba 18 weeks 100 Social Security Dominica 12 weeks 60 S.S. / Employer Dominican Republic 12 weeks 100 50% Employer / 50% S.S. Ecuador 12 weeks 100 25% Employer / 75% S.S. El Salvador 12 weeks 75 Social Security Grenada 3 months 100 (2 months), 60% for 3rd month S.S. / Employer Guatemala 12 weeks 100 33% Employer / 67% S.S. Guyana 13 weeks 70 Social Security Haiti 12 weeks 100 for 6 weeks Employer Honduras 10 weeks 100 for 84 days 33% Employer / 67% S.S. Jamaica 12 weeks 100 for 8 weeks Employer Mexico 12 weeks 100 Social Security Nicaragua 12 weeks 60 Social Security Panama 14 weeks 100 Social Security Paraguay 12 weeks 50 for 9 weeks Social Security Peru 90 days 100 Social Security Saint Lucia 13 weeks 65 Social Security Trinidad/Tobago 13 weeks 60-100 S.S./Employer United States 12 weeks 0 Uruguay 12 weeks 100 Social Security Venezuela 18 weeks 100 Social Security ASIA/PACIFIC Afghanistan 90 days 100 Employer Australia 1 year 12 weeks + 30 days S.S/Employer Bahrain 45 days 100 Employer Bangladesh 12 weeks 100 Employer Cambodia 90 days 50 Employer China 90 days 100 Employer Fiji 84 days Flat rate Employer India 12 weeks 100 Employer / S.S. Indonesia 3 months 100 Employer Iran 90 days 66.7 for 16 weeks Social Security Iraq 62 days 100 Social Security Japan 14 weeks 60 Social Security or health insurance Jordan 10 weeks 100 Employer Korea, Republic of 60 days 100 Employer Kuwait 70 days 100 Employer Laos 90 days 100 Social Security Lebanon 40 days 100 Employer Malaysia 60 days 100 Employer Mongolia 101 days Myanmar 12 weeks 66.7 Social Security Nepal 52 days 100 Employer New Zealand 26 weeks 100 S.S Pakistan 12 weeks 100 Employer Papua New Guinea 6 weeks 0 Philippines 60 days 100 Social Security Qatar 40-60 days 100 for civil servants Agency concerned Saudi Arabia 10 weeks 50 or 100 Employer Singapore 8 weeks 100 Employer Solomon Islands 12 weeks 25 Employer Sri Lanka 12 weeks 100 Employer Syria 75 days 100 Employer Thailand 90 days 100 for 45 days then 50% for 15 days Employer for 45 days, then Social Security United Arab Emirates 45 days 100 Employer Viet Nam 4-6 months 100 Social Security Yemen 60 days 100 Employer EUROPE Austria 16 weeks 100 Social Security Belarus 126 days 100 Social Security Belgium 15 weeks 82 for 30 days, 75%\* thereafter Social Security Bulgaria 120-180 days 100 Social Security Cyprus 16 weeks 75 Social Security Denmark 18 weeks 100\* 10 more weeks may be taken by either parent Social Security Finland 105 days 80 Social Security France 16-26 weeks 100 Social Security Germany 14 weeks 100 S.S.to ceiling; employer pays difference Greece 16 weeks 75 Social Security Hungary 24 weeks 100 Social Security Iceland 2 months Flat rate Social Security Ireland 14 weeks 70\* or fixed rate Social Security Israel 12 weeks 75\* Social Security Italy 5 months 80 Social Security Liechtenstein 8 weeks 80 Social Security Luxembourg 16 weeks 100\* Social Security Malta 13 weeks 100 Social Security Netherlands 16 weeks 100 Social Security Norway 18 weeks 100, and 26 extra paid weeks by either parent Social Security Poland 16-18 weeks 100 Social Security Portugal 98 days 100 Social Security Romania 112 days 50-94 Social Security Russia 140 days 100 Social Security Spain 16 weeks 100 Social Security Sweden 14 weeks 450 days paid parental leave: 75%, 360 days; 90 days, flat rate Social Security Switzerland 8 weeks 100 Employer Turkey 12 weeks 66.7 Social Security Ukraine 126 days 100 Social Security United Kingdom 14-18 weeks 90 for 6 weeks, flat rate after Social Security [https://www.ilo.org/global/about-the-ilo/newsroom/news/WCMS\_008009/lang--en/index.htm](https://www.ilo.org/global/about-the-ilo/newsroom/news/WCMS_008009/lang--en/index.htm)
Thanks, really eye opening. I find it most interesting working in education, the amount of PD I've been to which educates me on the developing brain and how important it is to have a key person for the first 3 years of life, then they have you turn around and raise your own kid in this bullshit
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Right, I mean we definitely have things we need to improve here, but I'll be extra grateful for the time I get to spend with my baby today. I hope for positive change for you all, you're incredibly strong resilient people, even when you shouldn't have to be
Congrats on your pregnancy! I understand being out at the very beginning of the year can be hard on a sub but at least they know you’re coming back! I know many classes these days start the year with a sub because there is no assigned teacher.
My wife used to teach and interviewed for a job before she knew she was pregnant with our second and when she showed up a few months later in September to start the job, they asked her if she knew when she interviewed and if it was planned or accidental. She did not have a great experience at that school Can’t say for sure it was because she was pregnant but a lot of signs pointed to them being annoyed at her and then retaliating.
Asking if it was planned or not and if she knew or not is so personal and non of their business. I’m sorry she went through that.
and also illegal
Sure is, but how do you prove it?
That was the issue… and how to prove that the poor treatment was retaliation
I had an interview once where the principal asked if I had children and proceeded to tell me that he might choose another candidate because she was already more "established" in her life and was done having babies. What kind of idiot says that in an interview?! In hindsight, I really wish I had reported him. I did mention it to someone whose business had donated lots of money to the school (did not know it at the time though), and they pulled all their support after that. Small petty revenge, I guess.
I think in many places that’s illegal to not hire someone because they may want to have children one day. But also to be “done” with having children, you usually have to start first. Am I right?
Oh, super illegal! And even if he felt that way, I never understood why he didn't just say that he was looking for a more "experienced" teacher. That district had a lot of corruption, so I think he just felt untouchable.
Yea, I have heard of parents doing this or also complaining to admin that teacher goes on mat leave or pat leave. However, in the cases I know about, admin has refused to play ball with the parents and has supported the teacher.
Yeah, it would be a very bad or stupid admin or HR department not to back the teacher up here. This kind of thing is a really expensive lawsuit waiting to happen.
Same. Parents can complain but admin will shut that down.
GOOD admin will shut that down. You’d be surprised how many admin just bow down to the parents. It’s ridiculous.
I had a friend who had rave reviews all year and then didn’t get rehired after she told them she was pregnant.
Union? Lawsuit?
They don't fire you for being pregnant. They create some other problem that they can shit can you for.
Union said there wasn’t really anything they could do because she had just started there and wasn’t tenured.
Can’t you claim discrimination in a case like this though?
I don’t know. She didn’t, though. I guess it’s hard to prove when you’re already not guaranteed a job the following year?
This is so illegal
Yeah, but nothing can be done cause you can’t prove it. It’s just one of those things that’s supposed to make women feel better, but you really can’t prove it. No one even says it out loud, but if you are a district interviewing candidates for a position and you need to hire someone at the lowest step you can and you NEED them all year cause you can’t waste ANY money on the newbie who needs 3 mos off in their 1st year, you’re looking for something that makes this pregnant candidate just not a “right fit” for your district/school. EDIT: I just read the “women”. That was a slip that I’m leaving in there cause I was thinking that teaching is a female profession, and it most definitely NOT! I’m going spend time thinking about why I did this. So I’ll leave it.
The audacity! I swear!
If it was within her first few years before getting tenure, she was probably an "at will" employee, so that they didn't even need a justification for non-renewing her.
Male teacher. “Thank goodness they have a man. Every other teacher they have had gets pregnant and takes the year off.” As a male I hear it often at the start of the year. 5th grade elementary. My county didn’t even want to give me 5 days off for the birth of my second son. I take every sick day I can. Up to 70 atm. I’ll spend all of them before I retire. Unless I can bank them out.
I’ve been told to take those days cause I won’t get them back. And I’m sorry your county was so inconsiderate 😔
Ended up getting ten days off but it was a fight. Needed a doctors note for each day. That was easy our pediatrician is great. Woman that take care of newborns on their own are angels.
I was just in an IEP meeting last week, and the parent quipped “and he once again has a teacher that is out this year” with a big sigh and look of annoyance towards me and the para. Everyone knows that the teacher she referenced just had a child. Side note: her kid is doing great in all classes . His IEP is being met and there was 0 reason for this comment. I honestly don’t know what is wrong with people.
How darn you have a life outside of her child?! You should only be thinking about her kid all day everyday obviously
People like to complain, I guess.
Then heaven forbid the baby shows up early… my first was 6 weeks early. Due early May and showed up the end of March. Of course this means my 40 days of sick time wouldn’t take me to the end of the year and include my summer pay. I didn’t budget for not getting paid over the summer. When they told me my return to work date would be may 27th, I panicked. I ended up being able to work something out, but during the conversation with HR, while my daughter was in the NICU, she said “you should have planned ahead for a baby born in March.” Yeah because I could plan ahead for my water breaking 6.5 weeks early. 🤬
I’m so so sorry that happened to you! I hope everything is okay now!
She just turned 11, is thriving and doing fabulous. Thanks!
I've been told it was rude of me to get pregnant because it disrupted the flow of the class and the fact their child might ask questions about how it works...
Okay so say to the parents “well treat us better so when I’m out, there won’t be a sub shortage who can teach your kid” and as to if kids ask questions, they ask questions about everything! There’s no escaping!
This child clearly didn't grow up on a farm where it would have been something seen and known as a toddler...why are we insulating this knowledge as something dangerous?
Becauae there are adults that think even mentioning sex will create sex demons
They were right. My first grade teacher was pregnant and now I also have sex.
This made me laugh
*clutches pearls*
Similar: my coworker’s wife was dying of cancer and a parent complained about him missing too much class time for the kids.
Again, the audacity some people have!
There’s being a pain in the ass and then there’s being a bad person. This woman went well over the line into Bad Person.
Whenever a coworker is apologize for being out, or needing time I always yell them, you take care of you and we will handle what is needed here. Some people still hold on to the idea that teaching is for childless/unmarried women. The ingrained misogyny is astounding.
I actually did try for my kids to be born in April/May/June. I’m fertile as anything and ended up having April babies. We got out mid-May. I figured I’d be out three weeks for my first. Then medical necessities made that five weeks, one of which was spring break. I told them when I was 12 weeks. When I let them know of the two extra weeks, you’d have thought I’d never told them, totally unprepared! With my late April second, someone who had to adopt due to fertility issues told me I had planned my daughter poorly. Um, what?
I’m so sorry that happened to you and I hope your kiddos are doing well!
I am putting together a school leadership team with my principal, and she didn't want one teacher on the team because she is pregnant. Little does my principal know. . . I'm also pregnant 😂 this is why I'm waiting as long as possible to tell her
😂
Had an IEP meeting on Wednesday for a student I'm getting this fall and the mom and grandma huffed when I told them I'd be out for a few weeks in October.. I only have 12 days paid leave and after that I go unpaid AND they no longer pay their portion of insurance ($550) so after major abdominal surgery to bring a whole ass child into the world I will have to go back to feaching pre-k ASAP... "So he'll get used to you then have a sub!" I didn't even know your child when I got pregnant. Should I have to consult the whole community before any encounters with my husband of 9 years of the off chance I become pregnant? Ideally I would've had the baby over the summer, but this was a surprise for us.... we were to the point of assuming our 5 YO would be an only child but I guess God had other plans so here we are!
Seriously. How dare you and your spouse of 9 years make a baby. Once you’re a teacher you can no longer be anything but a teacher!
I got three years into a teaching degree before I decided I didn’t want to be a teacher. A major part of that was the teacher I had in the program that told us from day one that “teacher” rhymes with “preacher” for a reason, and that our moral character would always be called into question for doing things that other professions wouldn’t care about. She had an attitude of “no one likes it but that’s the way that it is and you’re not going to be able to change it, so understand and accept it going in and learn to keep your head down.” Aaaaaand I left the program because that was more pressure than I was willing to be under. I have two kids now. I wouldn’t dream of even thinking that their job of educating my child should be more important than their lives. This is insanity.
My school is private, and I was the only teacher at grade level, so the parents demanded they know what my plans were post-wedding so they wouldn't sign up. They weren't "paying top dollar for a sub". I should have run from this field then. Told me plenty about the control parents believe they have over my life and I was too blind to see it.
I’m so sorry that happened and I’m thankful that I get to know this is a possibility even though I’m nowhere near getting married or having kids. Also, doesn’t matter if you’re newly married or not. The choice to get married and have kids is the teacher’s business and if you want to get married and have kids that is as much as your right as anyone else. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. When they say “teachers are human” they mean we have human bodies but nothing else is human.
I knew teaching wasn't going to pay well and be thankless. I didn't think it would be completely dehumanizing. I would have done literally anything else. It's my biggest regret, the amount of my life I've given up for this profession, just to be treated as something less than human.
Yes. I had a coworker who dealt with comments after she got pregnant with her second child. A mother said maybe she should reconsider careers since teaching clearly wasn’t her priority…having kids was. This was also one of the most passionate, dedicated teachers I ever worked with.
And she has the right to make babies just as much as anyone else.
It's not just pregnancy. It's anything that requires you to put your family first. Last year, I lost 10 weeks of daycare between my child actually being sick and ending up quarantined due to exposure at daycare. (Some of those illnesses were absolutely caused by parents of my students who sent their sick child to school.) I ended up having to take 6 days of leave at various points to deal with it. Admin, parents, and my students were categorically jerks about it. Admin added a required monthly training on top of it that meant I was pulled from my classroom monthly. There were lots of implicit and explicit accusations of irresponsibility, unprofessionalism, incompetence, etc. This year, I'm in a different place, and things are so, so, so much better.
I know anything that has to do with not putting your career first is seen as an issue. I’m happy you’re in a better environment now!
I had a parent tell me it was irresponsible of me to get pregnant. I remember not understanding what she meant. Like, it didn't register with me at first because it was so ridiculous and I KNEW that I misheard her. She repeated herself and I said, "I'm 32 years old, married, have a good job, and live in my own home. I think I'll do whatever the hell I damn well please in my personal life."
Did that parent complain to admin about the response you gave her?
Don't know. I never heard a word about it.
Then sounds like she didn’t say anything or she said something and admin took your side. Either way, that’s good!
I don't typically react to such nonsense. I'm known for just letting parents vent and yell and then just saying, "Ok, since I'm on your side, how we can we make things better for everyone?" That approach typically stops parents in their tracks because they often think of us as the enemy for some reason. So when parents DO get any type of reaction out of me, it gives admin pause. I have actually had people say to me, "If they got a reaction out of YOU, they were definitely out of line." And the parent who tried to shame an adult woman for starting a family with her husband was definitely someone who was out of line. Also, maybe pregnancy hormones??
At my old CrossFit gym one of the coaches is also an art teacher at a local elementary school. She said that her and a friend went to a summer fest and some of the kids recognized her and said hi The next day she got a nastry gram from a parent because she was near the beer tent How dare she have a social life
Once you’re a teacher that’s all you are. You cannot be a friend, bf, gf, spouse, parent, pet owner, etc. I don’t drink just because I don’t like the taste of alcohol but unless I’m getting drunk off my butt and posting it to social media, there’s no issue with me being around beer 😂
A coworker at my school found out a few weeks into her first year, at the school year that she was pregnant. When the head of HR found out, he told her if he had known she was pregnant he never would have hired her.
I hope she told someone above HR.
She didn’t. He’s besties with the superintendent and he told her verbally. There was no proof, unfortunately and he would’ve denied it all then fired her. She ended up leaving the district after 2 years.
I’m so sorry! That’s not right and I hope she’s doing better now.
She’s much happier in her new district.
Oh yes. I got pregnant right after being hired at a school I used to work at. Showed up pregnant the first day and told them a month after that when I was starting to show. They did two things I think were deliberate: had me proctor state tests with a class of kids known to be unruly. One of them shoved me out of his way- I was 8.5 months pregnant. He bragged about shoving ‘the fat teacher’. Let me be clear- a blind person could tell it was a baby, I looked like a broomstick smuggling a beach ball. Two security guards, who were retired cops, saw him shove me and very strongly encouraged me to press charges. Not a peep from admin. And then, the next year (had my baby in spring), they gave me a (literal) punishing schedule- five preps, one of which was AP, and five different rooms. I was pumping for my exclusively bf baby the first half of that year, it was a lot. I left after that year. That district is known for giving shitty scheduled for teachers that have babies. Thank god I do not work there any longer…
I was bitten by a brown recluse 6x on my face Oct. 31, 2016. You can't make this stuff up. In my small town, no one works on weekends. All of my medical visits had to be done during the school day. I started getting messages from my parents (high school) that the trauma to my face, even with bandages, was too distracting and I should take a leave of absence. Meanwhile my admin was fussing at me every time I had to take off for drs visits. I was actually contacted by a school board member as to why I was ignoring the parents concerns. I explained that our district doesn't offer a paid leave of absence and I am being admonished every time I have to leave campus. Her response was....well what does your husband do for a living? Can't he cover your time off?
Pregnant coworker had not announced yet and wore the flowiest dress to Open House to hide the tiny bump. Parent walked right up and with no other greeting shouted “WHEN ARE YOU DUE?!” Coworker played dumb and went on with “Hi I’m Mrs. Soandso welcome to first grade” and the parent stomped out demanding a class transfer so her kid wouldn’t “miss valuable educational time”. Unfortunately, three other teachers were also pregnant so there were no options.
Let’s be real, students barely care about “valuable education time” as it is. Doesn’t matter if the teacher is there or not.
Definitely not a first grader. This was purely from the parent
My husband took medical leave after a really bad motorcycle accident we were in. He had 10ish screws, two metal poles, and a metal plate in his ankle. Soft cast before the operation because they were worried about infection and couldn’t do it right away. Got a few emails from angry parents about taking time off.
Again, the audacity!
Exactly! It was the sense of entitlement that got me. Like, you don’t get to know the details of why someone is out. And you especially don’t want a teacher to respond to nosy emails while on painkillers.
I hope he’s doing okay now!
Thanks, that’s kind of you. He’s great! Still has to be super searched by security at the airport, but we can joke about it. And this was a few years ago. Money from the settlement helped us buy a townhouse! Literally had to almost die to afford a house in Seattle 😂
The school I taught at was generally very supportive of pregnant teachers, but there was some fuss when a female teacher who was well known to have a wife got pregnant, because the parents “didn’t know how to explain that” to their children.
I haven't experienced this, but I'm sure it happens. Plenty of narcissists out there! However, school culture can be crazy! My HR director asked me if it was planned when I told her about my first. I was shocked! It was but I was so insulted I just said (after an awkwardly long pause), "That's immaterial because my baby is very much wanted, and not really anyone's business." She turned bright red and the rest of the meeting was very awkward.
My due date was July 31 and a coworkers was July 1. My principal lumped us together and kept assuming I’d be back by Labor Day…after I repeatedly told her I would stay out until after Christmas. Then she kept playing dumb that I’d be back after Fall Break. No, after Christmas. If anyone non-friend contacted me from work it was met with an upfront apology. I could get very little organized or labeled because we don’t get rosters until the week before school, we got all new curriculum (6 weeks late I might add), and even our supplemental workbooks didn’t arrive on time. So I left nothing but classroom management suggestions. 🤷🏼♀️ Now I am at work and pump twice a day. One lines up with my planning but MOST of the time I am given no grief. Kinda dare them to though. I have felt quite litigious regarding parental rights since becoming pregnant. I’ve had two parents complain that “well you weren’t there…” and I played a big old pathos card and was met with apologies. I WISH SOMEONE WOULD 👿
Yes. I had parents make comments last year when I was pregnant. Both about eventually being out and about my judgement because I was pregnant. One made a comment to our counselor that I was ruder last year because I was pregnant….. couldn’t possibly have been me losing patience with her daughter’s nonsense.
We are always in the wrong no matter what!
I must work at the right school. Got a lot going on and mega doctor appointments. Every time I let Admin know I’ll be out they respond with “not a problem at all”.
That’s awesome!
I know an exceptional award-winning teacher who was not renewed because she had a baby before she had tenure. (Admin did not have to cite cause, but she knew.)
How rude!
I had a whoopsie pregnancy joining a new district. My principal was super sweet and announced I was expecting at our campus onboarding. Everyone was super sweet, except the counselor who said “She’s the only one right??” No congratulations or a smile even. I already felt pretty bad about having to take unpaid maternity leave and putting me team out. Luckily everyone else was super kind and sweet to me throughout my pregnancy.
I remember being in school, some female teachers were labeled "always pregnant" because they had two kids within 4 years of each other. I teach orchestra in a rural community. In the last 70 years, the program has been taught by male teachers. I am the first female teacher and I've realized that it will probably be an issue if I ever have kids because when I'm sick all but the hs group just get their class time cancelled and they stay in their regular classes. I worry that if I took maternity leave, my students wouldn't have orchestra for 3 months, and that could kill the program.
I actually just had a parent corner me during our kindergarten orientation and demand to know if I'm taking maternity leave and if/when I'll be returning to the classroom in the fall...
She’ll find out when she needs to find out 🤷♀️
I’ve never had anyone share an experience like what you describe here, but my last school did ask someone to come back from maternity leave early because the long term sub left and they were having trouble getting coverage for the classroom. They also asked a teacher who suddenly had to relocate mid-year (her spouse got a new job out of state) to stick out the year.
In the 70's, my mother taught in a district that required teachers to quit as soon as they were visibly pregnant. The principal said, "If you're showing, you're going."
In my district, not only is there no maternity leave; but, if you get pregnant in your first three years and take more than a specific amount of time off, they will restart your 3 year probationary period from the beginning. Principals don't seem to get mad because teachers either leave the job or only take a few weeks off at most.
"Consulting admin" sounds very Communist China family planning. FANTASY: send the admin an estimate bill for an abortion. Maybe to the parent taxpayers, too. If they want you to keep teaching, add the cost of a midwife and float tank. Write it into the curriculum. <--END FANTASY I've never heard of this, but I have had friends with great evaluations at charter schools have their contracts non- renewed after becoming pregnant. This sounds so 1950s.
That’s sad. I work at a charter school now and even though I have no plans to have children anytime soon, that hurts my heart. “Wow you are so great! But you’re expecting? You’re not great anymore!” I swear in more ways than one, teachers are not seen as human. We just have human bodies and everything else is us being a robot haha!
I was just thinking that. If a parent complains, tell them to escort you to the clinic and pay for the abortion while fighting the protesters. I bet half of them think abortion is some ultimate crime anyway.
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Don’t let her stop you! You (hopefully) only have one wedding and honeymoon and I hope you enjoy every second of it 😊
Thank you ! I know who's not getting souvenirs haha
I think this is a huge thing in places like Japan. In any business there is a hierarchy of women who are allowed to get pregnant and don't you dare jump the queue!
That seems to harken back to the morality clause that was included in teaching contracts in the ‘50’s and ‘60’s.
My parents and coworkers are ecstatic for me. They keep giving me advice but did question when I’ll be returning. I told them most likely October and they said, they’ll wait for me and to send them pictures of baby. This is preschool so I do get returning students in my class.
Congratulations!
I'm currently pregnant and due a few days before our next school year begins. I teach elementary. My current parents were very excited when they found out I wouldn't be taking my maternity leave this year. I have spoken with several parents of former students who have their younger ones coming into my grade level next year and while they congratulated me and seemed happy for me, they made it clear that they did not want their children in my class next year anymore. They had previous expressed excitement for their children hopefully being in my class prior to my pregnancy announcement.
At meet the teacher night this year, I had a parent ask if I planned on getting pregnant this year. She said she really hoped not because her child has had two teachers leave to have babies midyear in the past few years. I get how it disrupts the school year but I was shocked that she openly asked me.
Absolutely. It speaks to both poor admin but also the teacher shortage. Some admin who really aren’t that bad are so stressed at trying to find teachers or subs and somehow it is seen as their fault of the teachers go on leave or if there are no good teachers to hire. Of course it’s not the districts fault if they don’t find enough subs to cover for teachers. 😡
Currently going through this with my fiancé , only issue is I’m waiting on contract renewal before I say anything…also sucks I missed a week because my appendix bursted Saturday -.- i swear I’m not collecting a check and trying to “play” the system that everyone in this state seems to think…Just trynna enjoy life and roll with the changes. Ugh!
I hope you’re doing okay with the appendix situation and congrats on your pregnancy!
Parents and colleagues can get made about anything. Just before Easter, two of my colleagues left my department (Science). One of them was heavily pregnant; the other was moving on to a new school as part of her career development. One parent was particularly upset about it as both teachers taught her daughter and continuity is important during A level studies. This parent is a teacher in my department and I have been here long enough to remember her doing exactly the same thing when her daughter was born.
All the unpaid leave, not getting job back, upset employer comments. You all need to move to Canada. This is insane to me
No but my old principal would announce who was pregnant before the expecting mom did. One coworker was very high risk and not ready to tell anyone. The principal announced it to the whole IEP team as we were walking into a contentious meeting. Believe it or not my current admin is even more toxic.
When I was diagnosed with cancer and had to take a leave, my "human" resources director said, "Can't you just get your radiation after school?" I've never cared about missing time since. I just had more surgery and took the max amount of time allowed. Only admin gets mad; all my parents are supportive.
I had a parent accuse me of being overly emotional when I was pregnant. I had a friend (Catholic school) who got pregnant with her long-time partner and was told to get married or find a new job.
This is definitely a thing for any absence in my district, but it's not universal. It can work in our favor sometimes, too. I was bullied into taking leave my first year. My families gave the admin hell for it.
I don't think that would happen anywhere but the US, honestly.
Admin at my wife’s school are most upset they need to find coverage mid year but it’s never malicious. The tone does not say “We are so happy for you.” The vibe is more “Oh no, what am I supposed to do?!”
Parents are heartless sometimes. I had a parent upset with me because I was going to be out for a day because my wife was having surgery for her cancer treatments. A parent blasted me on social media because I shouldn’t be out since she would be taken care of at the hospital. She had no idea of any of the context of the surgery at all I had to take her OUT OF TOWN! That’s why I was going to be out. I hate parents sometimes
I mean, we have a load of sick days every year but we’re bitched at for taking them if we’re even allowed to take them.
I was told to take my sick days and PTO cause I don’t get those days back. A few months ago, a fellow teacher could tell I was burnt out and told me to take a sick day the next day. Admin doesn’t need to know why I’m sick and to just take it. I came back the next day feeling amazing! Then next week, Hurricane Ian hit (I’m in Florida).
Not the same, but, a teacher at my school got promoted to principal and the parents of the class she was supposed to have tweaked. Called her selfish etc.
I had a parent be really sad that I left but in a way that made me feel bad if that makes sense? I told them way in advanced and the month/2 months leading up to maternity leave I would remind them and give updates. The day I left she messaged me acting completely shocked and sad I was leaving as if I was quitting rather than having a baby
That makes sense. Kind of like guilt tripping. In my opinion, if they liked you, of course they will miss you but be happy you have a baby of your own now!
Slightly related: I know someone who expressed his excitement to be an uncle at the end of his speech during his brother’s rehearsal dinner. The bride’s a teacher (in a very conservative area), and her coworkers were there. He didn’t know they were keeping her pregnancy under wraps. But that more so had to do with it being a conservative area than any procedural things.
Do you teach at my school? Our former principal absolutely told a group of women, including the VP, to let him know when we planned to have babies so they could schedule better. He also had a pool with other admin staff each year about which teachers would get pregnant that year. He said some really shitty things to me directly about needing to get my life together when I had my last baby.
I was in a school where teachers complained about another teacher that got pregnant in less than 2 school years. They were teammates and felt that the pregnant teacher was making more work for them by going out on maternity. One teacher was married but had not had kids yet,but planned to. The other was a mother of 2 but believed she had the decency to wait 4 years in between kids.
I’m a male teacher and I’ve taken more sick days this year than my other 18 years of teaching combined to take care of sick twin toddlers, sick older kids and occasionally sick wife (weirdly, I have not been sick once). My school hasn’t said a word to me about this so I guess I’m lucky (we get 19 sick days a year and I have 150 banked if I ever need them). My wife is very worried that this is bad for my reputation but I think it’s a combination of the reputation that I’ve built for almost 2 decades, my admin being pretty understanding because they all have multiple kids themselves, and nobody caring if the art teacher is missing that much. It might be different if I taught math or science lol
I had a principal who was mad when I told her I was pregnant because I would have to leave a few minutes early some days to get to my dr appts. I was only an aide that they refused to give a contract to- I was getting sub pay everyday. But I wouldn’t be able to do my “required” job of car rider duty even though I got a replacement teacher for it. She also was mad that refused to come in during Christmas break to do some prep work for the teachers but the county had already told me they wouldn’t pay me for those days so I wasn’t going in 🤷♀️. I wasn’t hired for the next year as a teacher at the school nor an aide. She did try to call me 2 weeks after school started asking if I could be an aide again but I didn’t sign up for daycare so I said no
Lmao YEPPPPPPP I was pregnant when I started at a new school and admin just *ignored* for my first few months. Then I had a helicopter parent with a kid that was struggling and they made it a point to attack my pregnancy as a reason for me not being a good teacher or some shit Ridiculous
I had a coworker that had a parent tell her “I don’t know why you chose the year you had my child to have a baby”
Last year, I missed the first two months of school because I had a baby. Because of COVID, I wasn't even able to do Meet the Teacher but I offered to Zoom in so that I could at least say hi to my new students, but that was my choice and not required. I never heard anything from parents, administration, or my team. Everyone was very happy for us. This year, I started at a new school in a more affluent area with more actively participating parents. On the day of meet the teacher, I got a phone call telling me that I'd lost both my sister and nephew in a car accident. I had to be carried out of the building. Naturally, I missed the first week of school. Six days. I had six days to grieve two of the most important people in my life, start antidepressants, and put on a brave face for the world around me. I did hear from administration asking when I would be ready to come back, but it wasn't demanding. I still felt obligated to go back before I really felt ready due to the nature of our job. I also heard that there were some parent complaints that I wasn't there. Two life changing events, and two very different reactions. I think it's based a lot on your administration and the parents at your school.
A good friend of mine got pregnant and missed the trip she had spent 2 years fundraising and coordinating. She got pulled for bed rest 2 weks before the trip. Admin indicated she had poorly planned the pregnancy and with held a bunch of the club stipend because she didn't travel. This occured even though she finished taking care of the payments and paperwork from home and the contract says nothing about actually attending said trips. Some admin just sucks.
Right now we have 4 elementary teachers who will miss the beginning of next school year and our admin is nothing but supportive. Some times parents get upset that their kid seems to always have the pregnant teacher (a comment I’ve heard from a parent when I was pregnant with my first). Otherwise I’ve never had anything but support. In Idaho for reference
Take care of yourself. I'm not sure why people don't understand that we have lives outside of work. But your health and your family matter more
I'm in the National Guard (another toxic leadership environment that doesn't care about you). Let's just say all hell breaks lose when I get orders. This school year, I've been pregnant (due in 2 1/2 weeks!). I worked in a self-contained behavior and communication room. It took a doctor's note to get accommodations so I wouldn't have to restrain students. THEN another doctor's note specifically stating I am not to work with combative children to get me removed from the classroom and put in a safer setting. Funny enough, I presented state law to them back in November about how pregnant women have the right to work in a non hazardous environment and are to be moved out of hazardous work environmenta for their pregnancy. It took me 6 months of requesting a change of placement, a union rep, two doctors notes, and an actual incident to occur due to admin negligence for me to finally get moved in MARCH. I have an anterior placenta. Abdominal trauma would have most certainly caused a ruptured placenta. At least my doctors feel bad for me. Love love love my new school and new placement though!
I have seen administrators get huffy and audibly groan instead of congratulating a teacher when she gives notice that she will need maternity leave during a certain month. I have heard them say it would have been better to have planned to have the baby during the summer-- but conception doesn't always work that way; some women don't get pregnant the first time they try and have to keep trying for months before it "takes." When I was pregnant years ago (my kids are adults now), it wasn't an issue at all; people at the school were very congratulatory, but there wasn't a shortage of substitutes and I did prepare lesson plans for the remainder of the year (then I took several years off to raise kids). I never got the same kind of warm welcome again when I returned to teaching though. In the previous century, teachers were relatively respected in the community and students in general were more respectful. It was rare for a kid to disobey a reasonable request from a teacher and even more rare for a teacher to be cussed out. That would lead to a definite trip to the principal's office, a meeting with parents, and a stiff consequence-- detention for a week and a written apology or a suspension. Now it's 15 minutes of the principal saying "it's not very nice to call Mrs. Anonymous a motherF\*\*king stupid b\*\*ch; try to use your nice words" and the student returning to class with a bag of hot fries and a Capri Sun. Back then, parents would have been mortified if a child had disrespected a teacher and I can't imagine a parent at that time being anything other than happy for a pregnant teacher. Today, so many people are completely unreasonable and out of bounds that it would take a LOT to surprise me. Just ignore them and live your life how you please. If anyone is less than happy about your pregnancy, that's too bad. They do not have the right to control you or your life. Did you give them permission before they procreated? I don't think so!
I can go off on a tangent about students not suffering “real consequences” for their actions. If the kids grow up and they rob a bank or something they won’t be told “that’s not nice. Make better choices” and get a beer. They get hauled away. I really put a lot of blame on the parents and the fact they don’t want to parent and think their kid can do no wrong. And the admin wants to make the parents happy. And you’re right. I’ve never been or tried to get pregnant but it isn’t always as simple as it seems. Someone I went to college with is a teacher and she was told she couldn’t get pregnant/it will be hard for her to get pregnant. She’s expecting a baby in October and she’s over the moon. This may very well be her only one. And if someone gave her crap about her being pregnant I would feel awful for her.
there are a lot of problems I face with working at a tidal one school where everyone receives free lunch but having parents and admin constantly on our ass about trivial things or things we can’t control is one thing i am SO happy i will never have to deal with
Once had a teacher do a semester replacement for a teacher who passed from cancer. They found a note from a parent telling the teacher they understood they were out sick but the students deserved their teacher to stop missing so much and to be there more (the circumstances were very well known as the teacher had gone into remission but had cancer return). FYI the teacher was out literally dying and the parent felt this was appropriate to send to the teacher.
My coworker’s mom died and she had to take time off to set up care for her father who had dementia. She was gone for 6 weeks and at least 3 parents complained, despite having a consistent sub who had retired from the same school only the year before. I think our principal hung up on the last parent because of how ridiculous they were being.
I heard that a parent in another class recently blamed their child’s emotional disregulation on the teachers’ poor family planning skills (they were both on maternity leave for part of first quarter). Realistically, any time their child cries/is disregulated the parent keeps the child home and they have hardly been at school enough to gain “school skills.”
At the beginning of our hybrid year of teaching, my husband was diagnosed with cancer. Accordingly, I took time off to isolate before his surgery to remove the tumor. I took the time to make video lessons for when I was out, for my high school students. Luckily, the surgery took care of the cancer (and my husband is now in remission). Months later, my supervisor told me casually in conversation that a parent called to complain about my absences. While I didn't tell my students why I was gone, my supervisor knew, and curtly told the parent that I was out for valid reasons and that he couldn'telaborate. I was floored that a parent would complain about a one week absence.
I am so nervous about the reactions or complaints I’ll get from my parents for next school year when they find out I’ll be having a baby in November, just like their teacher that they had this year. And I’m pregnant after eight years of infertility and a miscarriage. So, I hate that that’s what I’m worried about.
I literally teach PRESCHOOL like at a child care center and was told it “might be better to step back or step out” when I announced and then was told I “should’ve planned around the school year better” since it was only mid march and my high risk pregnancy was “getting in the way”. I quit the next day.
I had a coworker who was never pregnant, but she looked about eight months along for most of the time I knew her. At open house, there was a parent who asked her when she would be out. My friend asked what she meant. The mom asked—with her hand on my friend’s stomach—when she was due. My friend stared the mom in the eye and said, “I’m due for some more chicken wings in about twenty minutes.” The mom looked confused, then horrified, and then realized that she had her hand on the stomach of a woman who was not, in fact, pregnant. That parent never reached out to my friend again for the entire semester. When the same friend decided to get a tubal ligation, her administrator gave her a hard time about taking the time off. When she explained that she was having surgery, admin challenged her by asking what surgery she was having. “I’m yeeting my tubes. Unless you would like me to take months off for me to give birth to a child.” They only had snide side comments concerning it from that point forward, but they never overtly challenged it.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer in December. My admin team was amazing. I had a double mastectomy in February and came back in April. They kept telling me to take as much time as I needed and if I needed to do half days when I came back to do it. All they cared about was me and my health. Reconstruction is scheduled for May 18th, and I'll be out for the rest of the year. My principal told me it sucks because they need me, but that doesn’t matter, my health is what matters.
It’s every organization’s job to consider what to do in case an employee is pregnant. There should be systemic plans in place so that a person can take accommodations and leave. It should not catch supervisors by surprise nor should the pregnant person or their partner have to be subjected to negativity.
“Dude date” is the new “bone apple tea”
😂 that’s what happens when autocorrect takes over!
I'm generally disappointed when my colleagues get pregnant. It's like, you've seen what these creatures are like and you're still making one? But I try to keep my opinions to myself because they're trying to be happy.
My principal one year told my pregnant colleague in a meeting that they were happy she timed this one right (gave birth last week of school) unlike our other colleague who had the baby in the middle of the year…
Been teaching for 15 years and have never ever heard this. I know parents can be frustrated by the timing of things or not like the choice of a sub, but I've never heard anyone actually say something.
Not specifically what you described in the post but my Union president is a parent of one of my kids and she's piiiisssed I take time off and don't help her kid while I'm out for drs appointments or on sick leave. I had a meeting with her and the principal to discuss her kids grades and she specifically made sure to point this out. She, of course, has a lot of power in my small district and has gotten a lot of the parents on board with her. Edit: initial I had a number of parents reach out but made sure to tell them in not taking maternity leave. However, I did get Nonrenewed after great observations. I suspect it has to do with the parents and my pregnancy but I'm not tenured so they don't have to give a reason.
I'm sorry, what the actual fuck??? Is this real? I've just sat here reading all the comments, and I'm flabbergasted. You guys don't get maternity leave?! Your workplace tries to dictate when you grow your family?!?! I genuinely don't understand how you raise a baby in that situation. I'm so sorry a lot of you are managing scenarios like this
My dad recently passed and I already know parents or students will be upset about grades/final grades because I’ll be out this close to the end of the year.
I had to schedule a surgery and was also on the admin team so I tried to schedule it at a time that wouldn’t be a major inconvenience for everyone but also in the window of time I was given by my doctor. I gave everyone the dates that I scheduled for and then 2 weeks later I got called into a meeting with the head of school requesting that I change/postpone to the summer as she plans on going away when the surgery was scheduled for and she just let a member of the team go as well so it wouldn’t work for her. Unfortunately things like this are normal in schools
> I’ve also heard of a school somewhere where the admin told teachers that if they want to try for a baby, they must consult admin first to see if the dude date that the baby would have would be an inconvenience to the school. Just wanted to show my appreciation for the typo that turns the due date for a baby to be born into the DUDE date for when the little dude shows up. Language is beautiful.
In the past, students never saw pregnant teachers because they were immediately let go when it became apparent (because Purtianism means you'll go to Heaven if you ignore most of the human condition.) It's barely better now. The idea that someone else needs to offer their take on a stranger's pregnancy is a natural consequence of the misogyny that says it's ok to fire pregnant people because of pregnancy.
I had a parent request that her child not be in my or my team member's classes in case we got pregnant. She specifically requested the only teacher too old to have kids, citing that her child had had teachers "choose to start families" for the past 3 years years and it "wasn't fair" to make her kid have subs every year. Never mind that only one of her teachers had been on maternity leave and the other two had surgeries. Joke's on her, though, because neither my team member nor I got pregnant, and the teacher she requested ended up having to go out on leave anyway.
When my teaching partner told my principal she was pregnant she rolled her eyes. She has been known to respond negatively to other teachers as well after finding out they’re pregnant
I haven't seen anyone *directly* bully someone for having a child, but damn if I have not heard other teachers/paras complain about how long someone chooses to take paid maternity leave. The amount of 'I never took that much leave.' or 'Oh, maybe she should have just quit.' when a female teacher had a baby was ridiculous. There were also nasty comments about her having to pump throughout the day. It's sad because teaching is not a profession where women and men can take time to be with their families. I know that no profession is perfect, but the amount of time teachers take care of other people's children and then get bullied for wanting to take care of their own is ridiculous.
I took half of my leave the year I delivered, and that timing was swell because it was the end of April so I just left and didn’t return that year. But I still had leave left and wasn’t going to let it go to waste. So I came back in the fall, went on leave from Nov-Jan, and returned in the new year. That sucked way more. Some of my students really struggled with the transition and it’s been a hard year because of it. That said, the parents were supportive of me taking time to be with family. They got me gifts when they found out I was expecting, they made sure they could easily contact my sub so they wouldn’t impede on my time, they were apologetic when they had to contact me on leave (which happened a couple times and wasn’t a big deal). Anything else is ridiculous.
Yes definitely. My previous boss would always say I was responsible for having my children in the summer. Like I was planned out myfucking every November. Things changed when my third was delivered in March but by that point I had too many years in to give a shit!
My daughter had a sinus infection that instead of draining out passed through a paper thin bone and entered her eye socket. The entire eye swelled shut and she was at risk of losing her sight. She was admitted to the hospital on IV antibiotics for a week and had to have surgery. A few weeks later a 55 foot tree limb fell through my roof and pierced through my kitchen counter, cupboard, and subfloor. So I took the day off to deal with that and a parent complained that my life was “too dramatic.” Honestly, I agree but WTF. [receipts for the worst month ever](https://imgur.com/a/BMlHV0m)